So this could be my last journal for a long while but I wanted to update you all now that work for me will be very busy. This morning was not good, I had to call off sick and on top of that one of the workers decide to quit today, leaving my team leader the only one to come in on his day off and he wasn't happy about it.

I felt bad he had to come in but when your sick your sick and right now works just a mess till it gets sorta out and someone hired in. I did plan for AC this year but that is not gonna happen now, also this fishing trip with my dad he had planned in the coming months is a no go as well.

So that said, I'll be working 6 days a week, some of the days I'll be working 12-15 hours just till we get someone in which hopefully won't take long. Works crazy for everyone I know a lot of people work many hours and not rest well or not feeling well. It's life, and it can be tough I understand.

That's about it, thanks for the support and checking up on me. I'm not around much, just really focused on life. Be safe everyone and take care of yourselves. I'll be in touch whenever I get more updates at work.

Well it's here 2020 this is a big year for me and I'm sure for everyone else. Well lets start by saying, this year is such a big deal to me.

1. My team leader retires in July so I'll take over his shift which very early 5-1 shift, train new people, order supply's etc. That position will open up in a few years, have to be there for 5 years to get it.
2. Gonna pay my car off this year. Finally it'll done and then I can focus on larger goals.

I'm bit nervous bout the new shift and title but this is like one of the best things that can happen to me though, cause it's a pay increase and big responsibility.
I've worked here for almost 3 years now, I pretty much have this job down but always room for improvement.

Next, I want to share few things.

I'm gonna be seeing a doctor before my team leader retires, I got something going on with my right wrist. It's not carpel tunnel cause it isn't numb, mostly from strain or inflammation. So I'll get that looked at, it doesn't hurt at all just aches at times. So I took so pain killers and a wrist band when I sleep. Maybe a adjustment to my wrist might help it dunno I'll check with a doctor.

I've been wanting to get some art done, I just haven't had time to get to it and money. All in good time, I don't post alot of nude but here and there I will. Might get a few art kinks I'm into.

So last thing I'll share, for you gamer's out there. There is alot of games coming out this year that are so good gonna be hard to get too. FF7 Remake Breath Of The Wild 2 etc but last month which is a game I played since the beginning, MechWarrior 5 was released from Epic Games. I love this game, it is really done well. You really have to plan your stuff in this game. You can see game plays of it on you tube but if anyone is interested to get it, here's the link for it. https://www.epicgames.com/store/en-.....validated=true

I'm wishing the best of 2020 to everyone, I'll be busy as always, and I try to get back on to reply any comments when I can. Stay safe and here's to a New Year of achieving goals and peace to everyone.

Yeah it's been a long time since I did a journal. I'm not so active as I use to be but that's because my life's changed and still is.

Where to start, well I'm doing ok been tired trying to stay focus on sleeping more my jobs been keeping me on the move. We had are main car wash got busted, someone wasn't careful and took a large van in there and...yeah broke it. So were just doing more hard work, by summer hopefully they will have a new one.

Anyway, so I been busy with the holidays and got most of my shopping done. I was trying to save money but my old PC started to have issues, so I found a good deal on a new gaming desk top and applied a card for it, will end up paying off with my tax return. It wasn't something I had plan for but I need a better pc anyway for gaming.

I hope everyone's staying warm, safe and doing ok with there jobs. I can say my job is pretty well secured, over time I'll make more and will train new people and order supply's. Only hard part bout my job is I'll need to start at 5 am, but I done and can do it. Cons will be hard for me to go for a while, I miss going to MFF but I'm gonna try AC this year after that I dunno. I want to go back to MFF at some point, been a long time but life comes first and I'm finally on the right track. Plus if I do it right my car will be paid for next year.

It's been way to long...I need to get away, all in good time.

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Be safe and keep plugging along. Don't give up with life, I know it's tough out there but were all dealing with it.

Well first, things are hoping to slow down at work now that school started again. Weathers been hot and humid still, and I'm working like a ton of OT and lacking sleep not feeling best. Covering two workers for their vacation and I work 6 days 50 hours per week going on 5 weeks, I just got alot going on with work and stuff here with me...personal basically. Lucky enough today I was told at work, that my boss talked to the higher up boss and agreed to give me this weekend off to rest. So I was very grateful for that.

Anyway so back to me, I'm just so busy and I just don't get around here anymore as much I like too or telegram. I make my rounds here to let others know I'm here and alive.

On the plus side, I did get my car refinanced so that will help with money some but I plan to keep extra payments on it and be done with in a year and half, which is the reason I haven't gone to a con. I need to get a con again, after I get new paws, patch the suit up, then after that hoping to get a new body and brightening the head up some day. I plan to get a house here, jobs stable and I'm not gonna get a house till I have what I need.

So that's bout it with me, Hope everyone else is doing well from the heat and with life, stay cool and keep positive.

I've been meaning to get on and thank everyone who wished my for my birthday. It went very, got some gift cards to game stop.

So yeah it went great! I wanted to post this before I get very busy with my job, I'll putting in some big OT for a few weeks.

Hope everyone is doing well and have a good evening! :)

I am now 37 years old. Yay! I'm gonna get more gray on me..er wait I'm already gray. XD

I had 38 as my age but I'm really 37 after I just found out. LOL

Yeah it's been a few months almost, so works been crazy nuts. Due to the flooding that happen a few weeks ago we had more cars cause of red cross helping people, so it'll slow down back to the normal rush.

So whats new? Well nothing much really, just work and playing games, plus cooking new recipes. Though I'm excited for a few new games coming out.
Ones for the switch, Links Awaken remake from the game boy back in the old days the other is FFVII remake for the ps4. After 22 years yeah there finally remaking it. Won't be out till next year, though that game looks amazing.

Anyway back to me, really over all I'm ok, just feel tired most of the time, I'm trying different ways to help me sleep better. Really whats causing it is that I got alot on my mind. Work, when my team lead retires I'm gonna be taken his spot, once i work long enough, but he told me it's not just team lead It's supervisor, so when I work enough and get it, I'll be in charge in that bay, train new people, doing most of the ordering supplies and errands. That'll be my goal and that's my big goal over all.

I'm doing what I need to do, I'm still hoping to get back to a con. I really need a vacation and so over due for hugs. I'll be getting my vacation again soon and I will be seeing a friend of mine to help with my suit.

I hope everyone is doing ok, I don't get on media much, pretty much everyone's doing there own stuff so, that's why I want to get back to cons again.

I just wanted to do a quick update, last thing I can say is my birthday is next month. Sadly no special plans, other then I can see if my local fur friend is not busy. Gonna be 39...gees where is the time going.

That said, I'm gonna get going here. Thx for reading and staying in touch with my journals, stay golden and be safe.

Well it's been three months since my last journal, figure it was time to do one.

Works pick up, staying steady, learning to cook more meals, resting more. Really for the most part just doing my every daily wolf stuff. I did get my check up done last week and everything came out fine. Hearts good, blood levels normal, only thing I need to do is just cook healthy meals. Glass of red wine once in a while is good for your blood. So I'm glad to find out the results were very good. I'm a happy wolf :)

Anyway, I havn't made any plans for a con yet. I'm still working very hard to getting my car payments lower and paying of my credit card. Over all things are going good, just gotta keep going forward. I'll need a new set of feet and hand paws before I go to back to a con, there getting old.

As life keeps going I come to thinking, I'm needing to see my friends again and go back to cons. Everyday being alone and at work is getting hard on me though I do know I am not alone on that part. I'm gonna be 38 soon in July, gonna go visit a friend so I don't be alone for that day.

That's bout it, just gaming, cooking, sleep better, and going for more walks. Hoping everyone else is doing ok, weathers been crazy from what I seen on the weather channel.

I'm gonna end my journal and get back to life stuff. Just wanted to get on say Awoo to everyone bout me stay in touch and keep plugging forward. Missing friends, can't wait to hug them all again.

Stay well everyone...stay focus on your goals, and more importantly...keep up with your rest and foods. See ya all in the next journal.

~Kenova~

Yes it's been awhile I'm still around, so were do I start.

Well works been slowing down but has picks up here and there, though been having an issue with one of the workers, hoping this issue will be solved very soon.
Did get my yearly raise so that will help other then that it's the same ol at work.

Moving on here, moms doing better she's seeing a psychical therapist to keep her and her bones strong. She gets sore from time to time but she's in good health. She does have this cyst in her left shoulder, had it looked at and nothing cancer related so thank goodness, at one point she plans to have it removed. She and her husband are trying to sell my grandmas trailer and get that done and slowly I'm hoping in the next few years they plan to move north were I live. There isn't much people they know left where they live, most of there friends passed/moved on. Over all there doing ok, on to the next topic.

As of now where things stand it's very early yes but I am not very sure bout going to MFF or any cons this year. Reason for this many changes has happen.Well as we know MFF is getting very large almost 2nd biggest con and not only getting crowded but pricey. I was told last year broke record from my last vist in 2017. So yeah MFF has grown by a huge percentage. Here's the other issue, a friend of mine I normally room may not go to MFF least a while, and few of my friends will not be going due to life changes and money. I can always try to room with someone else I know but to be honest I'm not planing to go this year again, I really have to focus on my car and bills thus leads to my last problem I'm having. After 11 wonder years of taken care of my suit it's starting to ware and needs fixing, I'm gonna visit a friend of mine who can fix him up a bit make him look better and newer. Hoping the day will come were I can get a new body of Kenova and retire my old body for out door pictures and cuddles.

Getting to real life with my goals, I do have job security, and over the years I will earn more over time and as time passes once the car is payed for I plan to save up for my own house after all my years hard work. Yet it's hard to move on with life I don't have many furs in the area but my contentment is going great. I do plan to return to MFF if it slows down some (doubt it) or if my friends go again, right now it's just...life comes first. I have one income and I can do only so much. Not to mention my last visit at MFF was ok, people missed me and I was happy to be noticed but at the same time it really wasn't that great do to losing friends cause how big MFF and crazy it's become. I won't get into on that topic..mostly just staying focus on my life's goals and maybe I'll go to another con that Kenova's never been at before. I plan to come back people do want to see me and miss seeing me. Till I get time and money saved and my suit fixed up I don't plan to come back till maybe 2020. I thought bout a second suit, like a fox or dog but really Kenova's been my passion, it's who I really am and people want to see Kenova more therefor I'm hoping his body can be redone someday, it'll be for cons only.

I hope everyone is doing very well, I'm not on here much nor do I have money to get more art of me. Life has change for alot of people and my advice to this...just do it, and stay focus on your goals and most imported....no matter how tough it is out there in this world and your job...fight for whats right cause if not...what is then?

That's it for me, really isn't much going on but work and saving. Thx for reading and staying in touch with me, you'll see me again...I'm not leaving the fandom...but I have to take care of my life.

Take care everyone

Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year! :)

So it's been almost two weeks since grandma passed away, alot has been going on since then. Working on her trailer to get it cleaned and sold. Was able to get the rest of my stuff I left there for a long time. As far as I feel and the family, were still hurting but at the same time we are feeling better because, well lets be honest all of us family agreed she wouldn't have been happy and made it far enough in a nursing home or rehab. She just wanted to go home which wasn't gonna happen. So as of now were feeling better and focusing on life again but to remember grandma for memories.

So this is whats going on with me, I'm just gonna focus on work as much as I can, as much I want to go to MFF and see friends, this just wasn't the year for it, and next year I'm not sure if I'm going as well. I'm really just really needing a break from the cons and get my bills gone. Fact my suit is over 10 years old I'm gonna see if I can get him patched up some and looking new again. Someday maybe I can get OneFurAll to rebuild/referb him one last time so I can retire him for home and use my new suit for cons only. It'll last forever, unless if I have to I'll find someone else and get a 2.0 of him. I'm really not sure right now, I know most people like him the way he is, I'll just see if i can get him looking new. I have thought bout a new suit and new species. Though I really just want Kenova as my main have to see this is just on my mind is all.

Last, I won't be saying this anymore but for those who knew me over the years. So I went for a looong walk on top of this mountain where I like to go and connect with my spiritual wolf in me....I thought to myself....I am getting older. Years ago I had alot of issues, and I was younger dwelling and worrying, I'm alot stronger now and I don't focus on the past anymore. My life has change....ever since mom broke her arm and her leg, shes doing ok but arms still weak and hurting. She'll be seeing a doctor soon and fact she's nearly 70, I got alot going on for me this is why I haven't been on, plus people have moved on from fa, some are still here on fa and so will I just not often. So getting back to this, I'm not trying to say sorry but I am cause I didn't know any better. I lost alot friends over silly stuff, but I still have those who care. Today's world is crazy busy I understand, and that's why I'm staying focus on my goals.

I'm stronger then I was, and I intend to keep it that way. Soon to have a check up done and my right wrist looked at. It's not carpel tunnel, I do think it's a joint issue or starting of arthritis. Cause when I rotate it, it'll pop alot. I'm taken pain med's and not gaming as much on the pc cause of it. I'm hoping it something that can be easy solved but as we all know we are getting older and things start to happen to are body. Over all I am healthy, sleeping better and eating good. Till I find out what it is I'll keep you all post once I get a check up.

In four weeks I'll be out of town visiting family up north. So I wish everyone well and a Happy Holidays, I will be busy for a long while. I will be in touch and really all I can say now is thank you so very much for your support, and your time reading this. All in good time I will return to MFF or other cons, I really miss being there to suit up and see friends.

It's been a rough two weeks, but as I stated on top...Life will go on....and there's only one way to go....forward.

Take care everyone and be safe out there. Also sorry for not replying to your comments on my journals normally I would just been held up.
~Kenova~

We just got a call from the hospital that she had passed....

Me, mom and my dad were there and I held her hand and she remember me...I teared up she said my name...my grandson...and I hugged her..


but I never thought that be my last time....

This is all I can say....thank you all so much for your support and thoughts...

May she rest in peace...I love you grandma...

Where do I start,

So when I received the call from mom that she was not gonna make it I left asap. When I got down there she told me that a miracle happen and she was still alive. They were able to get her on the best meds and ventilator, she was ok. For days they kept her sedated for her heart and lungs to heal. After many days her insurance can keep her only for so long so they took her to my home town to another hospital were she can get the best meds and care.

So getting to the point bout her condition, her lungs are shot...from the many years of smoking, though her brain is ok and liver is fine, the doctor says she has a strong will in her...so she's not weak, but her breathing is. She is forever gonna have to be on a oxygen tank, she also has a chance to live 2-3 years if she follows the doctors orders.

Though now we reach to a really difficult point. Right now there trying to ween her off sedation so they can see if she can stable her breathing on her own, but...knowing grandma she started have anxiety and starting to fight with the machine by waving her hands around and not getting comfy. So now she's sedated again, and whats sad is that, she has a chance to survive this and get threw it. That's if she calms down and listens to the doctor. Now I understand she's scared she doesn't know whats going on, but this waving her hands and having anxiety could do damage, by having IV's pulled out or the tube from her mouth.

There gonna try again slowly but...if she continues to do this....it might be her time. We all love her and care for her, and we understand she isn't gonna be happy and we do respect her wishes that if she goes down, will let her go, which sadly may get to that point were they will shut the machine off...after consulting.

It's hard on all us family and me right now as I am typing this. She's 87 and lived a good life, if her time has really come...then...I hope she goes in peace.

Thank you all so very much for reading and sending thoughts and prayers this way for my grandma.

This is where I have to be strong, I know that's what my grandma would want me to do, she's so proud of me....for my job, and my life going the way it should.

That's all I can say right now, it's getting to me right now. I may not be on for a while, but I will be in touch.

Guys....I just got call from mom and Grandma is dying....I just called work to take a leave and I have a hour and half trip so I'm just posting this and going.

Many hugs to you all and thx for your support and love. I won't be on here for a while.

So grandma is gonna stay at the hospital till Friday, she's showing signs of improvement, however once she goes home were gonna hope she'll stay ok, cause if not she may end up in a nursing home for good. So, will see what happens for now she's ok which is good.

Thank you all so much for the support, means alot.

Well so after her first night being home my mom text me in the morning and said she had to take grandma back to the hospital and this time it's for good.

There is alot going on, so shes on a oxygen tank at full and she may never get off it. There also doing blood test for septic, and like I said, from what it sounds like, she's never going home....

I'll be in touch in a few days or whenever I find out whats going on..

First I just wanted to say thx for the comments on my last journal bout grandma. I can happily say she's going home tonight, though now she has to have a oxygen tank, she has a machine at home that she'll need to have all night as she sleeps and one to carry around the house. Either she'll have to stay on it for the rest of her life or might be able to get off if she can maintain her breathing.

That's bout it, will update after a while bout her, for the time being i'm ok, resting for the most part after all my hard days work and OT I did this few weeks. Thx again for your thoughts and support, and you all stay safe out there. :)

I been super busy with work and OT wanted to say my grandma had a congested heart failure last night, has fluids in her lungs and legs. doctor says she's doing ok, she needs to stay for a few more days at the hospital before sent home, there keeping her fluids flushed out, her breathing good and watching her carefully.

Will be in touch

It's all right there and trust me it's worth reading, it's what I am doing, why I've been busy, planing to get back to cons, seeing friends and making the best of my life.

Please go take a look

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8890622/

Well just to be short, Moms doing ok though now she faces a new problem. It's a big word dunno how type it, it's on google but she has soft bones.

Shes taken meds and excising to keep her bones strong and healthy. I'm just really hoping in do time she'll recover.
It does take toll on me, seeing her struggle and not able to get around. Though she's in good health which is imported, and i'm doing ok, just living day by day.

Making ends meet, saving what I can, hoping for the best. I'll be posting a art picture soon from a artist. It'll be a while before I can get another art due to money.

Hope everyone is doing well, and like always, keep your focus on your goals.

Alright for you Star Fox fans, friend of mine showed me this link and I'm telling now I'm so wanting this game for the switch.

Click and just watch :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mz6vRYCBhs

Sorry for the long delay I've been busy this whole week working OT for one of the workers while he was on vacation.

I had a great time, caught some pretty trout, played some games then went to visit mom for a while. Shes doing well, working on therapy to get her leg strong.
As of now nothing new, just work, catch up on some stuff and try to work out myself to keep motivated.

Back to life :)

So instead of going to Wisconsin go on a fishing trip I went to  foxalbiazul for a few days. It’s been fun! Went fishing, caught some real pretty trouts and play games.

I’m leaving home tomorrow to catch up at home, then go to moms for the rest of my vacation. So all is well and I’m having a great time. :)

So sadly I will not be going on my fishing trip for two reasons.

1. My second oldest brother, his wife's dad is in hospice and may not live the night. His heart is failing fast so my brother is out.
2. My second oldest sister and her husband are having issues with each other so there out.

So with all that, there isn't enough money that won't cover are stuff and my dad decided to cancel the trip. He's gonna reimburse my plane ticket, I have no other place to go up there. Was suppose to fly out Friday morning, so I'll just take my vacation here and who knows, just go do stuff I guess. It's been a sad day, so I'm going to bed.

Moms doing well and recovering from her surgery.

Sorry all work's been hell busy. Mom had her surgery yesterday morning, all went well and shes resting. She was suppose to go home today but she's sore so she will stay one more day and go home. Now comes the long waiting of recovery and resting. She sounds good, but sore all she can do is rest and keep up with her meds.

I'm only hoping she will be able to walk and not fall anymore. I'll be going on vacation soon, I needed it, so I'll be gone for a while till then I'll update bout mom in a week.

Thx for your support.