As the title says, an artist friend is doing a raffle in honor of their own birthday, which is September the 26th~
Here is the link. c:

Hello, am putting down a journal for a raffle thingy from a nice artist. c:
Their raffle!

Another nice friend is doing a 50 watcher art raffle!
Go check them out!

==== Their post!! ====

I'm not sure what to say in this journal, but I do felt like I wanted to make one.
Probably no one is going to read it...
I don't exactly know what I want right now.
My last real journal was about going out more and fursuit more. And in the end I only did like one more time before Covid striked.

Now I feel like writing again. Writing short stories about anything what can come up in my mind.
And I may try writing stories for people if they want to.
So if you dare to give it a shot with me. Send me a note that you want a story written by me. And we go from there.

I also may write more stuff in general and post it here. I just really want to post something. I have been quite sad about it...
So... I only have posted one story here, and I never really finished it, but I might start new stories with interesting events, and short stories that are just one chapter...
Just... Writing... For myself... And if someone enjoys it, well that's just a bonus for me.

As the title says, a good friend of my does an art raffle for their watcher milestone. c:
Go check it out. :D

==== Their post!! ====

As the titel says... I was thinking (as usual) about thinks I enjoy and not.
After today I re-realized that I like fursuiting quite much, not so much because of the attention, but just the fact that you can walk around for a moment not being your human self.
To be fair, Im not a pro suiter who acts like his character, or species... That feels awkward for me, but walking around at places like Elfia, that is quite fun. :3

I was also thinking about my music and I don't know what I should do with it, I enjoyed making it, and I probably still do, but its not the same as it used to be. Making songs feels like torture, and I dont want to do things that feels like torture, I think everyone can agree on that. After having a break of 14 months... Its not coming back either.
Maybe one day tho, but not anytime soon.

But yea... Fursuiting... surprisingly I really like doing it,
Maybe I should change my page into a fursuiting page, knowing there is a second and maybe a third suit in the next 3 years coming up. :3
The third suit is only in my thoughs tho but the design I got is so beautiful~
That second suit... We already got the materials and such, so maybe in the Summer it will be done, who knows. I dont. :D

Welp, this journal is so much longer than usual, thanks for reading, really appreciate that.

I wanted to tell something in a journal, about my mental health and my productivity and... I got no answer to that.
I really miss doing what I did, but I cant go back to it either, so right now I feel like Im stuck in an empty void of nothingness.
To be fair, even though I lost the capability to use the FL Studio thing to male music, doesnt hurt me that much for some reason.
I mean, it still hurts I cant, and I miss it, but there has been always something else that felt better for me, which was writing.
I lost the capability to write new interesting stories for probably 2,5 years, I have done some, but those were always something Ive written before or I only did like 3 chapters and I forgot they exist, and now I just keep hoping for that one miracle that I can go back to writing...

I would like some feedback on what I wrote here today, I want to know how many people actually really follows me, it maybe sounds a bit selfish, but I just feel more appreciated that way, and less alone...
Some people to talk to would help me I guess.

Me is bored, but when you react I will answer these ehh, thingies. :3

1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you a color you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
4. Ask you a question
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Give you a nickname
7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me
8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal

Hey there people that still wanders around on FA and actually follows me.
Ive hitted 3000 pageviews a little while ago and just wanted to thank anyone who did, and thank anyone that cares.
I know I haven't uploaded a song in 9 months, and I want to explain why that happened.
Back in October 2017 I tried to go to a college with a mindset that I hopefully get through the selection, that I maybe have found something that I could do everyday without that it matters how I felt, that I even when I'm angry, or sad, or happy, that I could make something. But it didn't happen.

In December I got the news that I haven't been chosen and I was at first upset, but not really angry, I didn't really care not to have been chosen because I know I have things to learn... But at the end, it hitted me more than it maybe should.
A few months later I tried again, they gave me a new chance because I didn't had another place to go, or an idea of what I want to do, and that failed again.
I knew I'm not perfect at making any songs, but I know as well that I am not the worst. Why couldn't I join a place where I can learn how to be better, if I was not good enough for a school. I said to myself that it is just a marketing thing and because I have a not so common taste, they couldnt do anything with me.
But because I got declined twice, I couldnt any songs anymore, I even lost interest about it for a while.
I miss making the songs, but whenever I open the music program, the only thing I can do is mess around for 5 minutes, and its gone again.

At the moment I don't have really an idea how my life will look like, and I do matter about my future, which makes it actually kinda sad for not having something...
I may keep sticking with stories in my head, writing them down as best as I can, and hopefully one day I can make a story that is readable for others, and so that they can enjoy what I write.

At least, thanks for reading, and watching me, hopefully the group of friends, watchers, grows over the time Im here, that makes me happy at least.
If you ever want to say hello, my notes are always open.

As the title says, it has been 4 months since my last update, and I will be honest on how I feel.
Almost a year ago, I asked to do requests, and I still feel bad about not doing them, and still on this day, I cant do them.
Technically I kinda lost my hope making it into my work, or any source of income.
Mentally Im really worried about me in general, there arent that many stuff happening right now, but my mind feels like nothing has changed in the past 2 years.
And that is really not true...
I dropped out of college, just because I couldnt end it, soon I will have no job either, even though that sounds like a big problem, it maybe isnt...
For years Im trying to find the right step to start over again, and I still havent found it yet, mainly because I went on an automatic pilote for years.
But... I dont see much light in the future so far, so I will be stuck, and I just try to find people who can message me so I can talk to others in general. :')

Welp... That was maybe a weird topic to say, but I just want people to have around for now and having fun.
So... Sent me a note on either
Telegram, Discord or maybe even Skype even though I never use it... I dont care... Hehe.
You could send me a note on FA too and work from there. :P

So many users watching meee!!! \OoO/
Even though I know most of them still don't care. :')
I don't know what I should do, really. In the future I might start to learn some artwork, Because years ago I did enjoy it.
I might even get a tablet sooner or later, but that will take a while, money is hard to get. xD
But that does mean it will be a little bit quiet around me, there are some things happening in my life at the moment, which is really hard...
That was all I have to say for now. :)

A normal journal for once.
Or is it?
I will do some music requests this time! Because that's my way of practising.
If you want a song made by me, send me a note with a few examples of things you like.
I'm always in for trying something new, but I will be honest if it didn't work out. :)
So I hope everything will go alright!

Thanks for the 2000 pageviews!
4000 eyes that watched my profile! (At least I hope... They all had two eyes...)
Well... I dont know what to say actually.
I still want to do music commissions. But, I never called a price, because I really don't know how much its worth.
Besides, I really want to improve...
So if you can, give me suggestions!

Hmm, send me a note if you want music from me with an idea what you want.
I will choose someone random and after I finished the song, you can give me a indication how much worth you think it is. That would help me out!

This journal is way too long, sorry for that.
Anyway, THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE PAGEVIEWS.

My server needs more people. :3
Come join us! We have COOKIES~~~!
https://discord.gg/ycJu8CR

I have an idea!
I want to make music and songs (without lyrics) for the ones who would love to have that. It's something like a commision, so it's not for free.

I just want to try this for a long period of time to get more confident while making songs for other people.

If you'd like me to make you a song/music, send me a note! We will work out the details and the other things. :)

Well, I want to try a new remix on a song. (Which isnt that hard to do, cause Im noob. :x )
And I needed a new Journal which is more happy than the last one, lol.
So my question to you:
What song shall I make a remix of?

As the title says. I'm sorry, I wish I could do those requests which I got from the free sample journal the things which I promissed, but I just can't do it.
I don't want to be those people which complains about my life...
But... It's hard enough which kinda controlles me the past few months.
So now Im still one of those people. :')

I really wanted to do those free music requests, cause I wanted to do even comissions later on, but my skills and mind are not that far yet to do so... And that kinda worries me for a bit... Not that much, but just the realisation that it probably never happen. XD

So... That was enough complaining I think. Have a nice day. XD

Ellow everyone, it has been a few weeks since I posted my last journal about the free stuff I wanted to do. :3

I still want to do those things, but I was waiting for quite a while for more answers, but they didn't came. :') So... I will try this again, and those messages on the last Journal, I will put them below this message~~

So if someone still wants it, I can put you here~
≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

Who wanted a free story:
 skellertom A cool adventurer-meets-tribal person and they start adventuring together story! :V

 akirathewolfie well, do you think you could type me a small story of Akira visiting her gf, Rainlin? And she ending up staying the night there to cuddle?

Who wanted free music:
 beast-storm This is awesome, Count me in Dractoss X3

 lunclaw Hey there! Oh, it's fine for the time you took to reply! So, er, well, as for the music... I think that you usually do kind of fantasy style melodies? So what about trying to go for something really different? I don't know, maybe using a different rythm or new instruments you've never tried?

I mean, in my case, for example, I always do, well... I try to make kind of trancy, uplifting songs. Usually with a quite high bpm and very, well, 'noisy'. So trying a slower, more melodic tune with more natural-sounding instruments would be something totally different, you know?

Anway, I'll leave you with that!

See you!

~Lunclaw

Ive decided something, which I am very confortable with.
First I will make a story for one of you.
Second I will make a song for one of you.
And third, I will do something fun in a partial suit, for YouTube.

I don't care where I should write about, I don't quite care about the kind of music you want me to make. And I probably don't care what kind of video I should make.

Just react bellow what you want, you need to be a watcher ofcourse, and I will send a note when I have the winners.
Please spread this journal, so there will be more fun for me. :P

Yaay two more milestones ^.=.^
For some reason Im very happy that I achieved this.
But what should I do?
I really don't know what I should do.
I could make a challange video, and put it on YouTube.
I could try making a free song for someone (Im not that pro, but still)
I could write a free short story for someone. (Still, English is not my mother language, so there could be some grammatical issues.)
Or really something else!

But what do you think I should do, so I can celebrate this with all those 50 watchers? :P
Comment bellow~~

Ellow everybody.

I will keep this journal short, cause I don't want to type to much about this.
I kinda want to do something fun with my page.
I just don't know what to do with that. The only thing I got are words. And that seems kinda boring.
So yeah... If someone has some ideas, I would be glad to hear about it... :)

As my title says... I just wrote my first English story...
I really enjoyed writing it. :)
I dont have to say something different. :')
If you want to read it here it is. :)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22810414/

Its the first time I wrote something in the topic of babyfur. :3 I really enjoyed writing that too! OoO
That was my journal for now. :')

I Just keep this journal kinda short. :3
Im not sure when, but I want to try some writing.
I normally write in my own language, which is hard enough. :') Now... I need to learn how to write in English... Dont expect much, Im just really excited about it. (^).=.(^)

I dont know what happened last week, but 100 people visits my page in one week...
Thx. :P

I still want to ask you if you know some great artist which are not that expensive, I need some art of my character, :')
I got PayPal soon. :3 Its slow...

I hope I can meat more nice people around here. :3 that would be great, message meeee~~ please~~
Bye. :')

Maybe I shouldn't be that happy about it, but yeah, why not. :')
Its still 200 people who watched my profile.
I want to try making more music, but it's hard right now. :(
If you got some ideas, I would be glad to hear about,
or just send me a message if you want to talk. :')
If someone knows which makes nice submissions with a low price, I really would like to hear it. :3 My Charakter('s) doesn't even have one decent picture. :o
Atleast, bye. :3
(lol, short ending)