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I give up on FA
Posted 3 months agoI ain't gonna get comments on my art. I ain't gonna get comments on my journals. I ain't gonna get any commissions. I doubt any one reads my journals.
ART TRADE OR DUO COMM?
Posted 3 months ago[align=center]So, im looking to do an art trade with someone. recent examples of my art here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61867864
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60932105
I can do better but i dont seem to have a consistant art style like so many other people have :(
I'm also looking for someone to try and do duo commissions with? I dont know the official name, but i mean when i do part of it and you do the other part. Like i woudl sketch and you could color? Let me know.
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https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61867864
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60932105
I can do better but i dont seem to have a consistant art style like so many other people have :(
I'm also looking for someone to try and do duo commissions with? I dont know the official name, but i mean when i do part of it and you do the other part. Like i woudl sketch and you could color? Let me know.
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Looking for Simple Animator
Posted 10 months ago Hey, guys!
I'm looking for a simple animator. what i would hope is simple eye and mouth movement gif thing taht moves when i talk on discord?
if your interested please let me know below and make sure to link some of you work!
here is the character in question
closest to his original AI art would be great, but ones that look like the rest would be okay too
https://toyhou.se/27243471.delsin-angeloComms OPEN
Posted a year ago Here is the link to my commissions page
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/kisamerula/Coms Open!
Posted a year agoTrying my hand at getting commissions since it's been a while.
All information can be found here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/kisamerula/
Thank you.
Please feel free to send a note if you have questions.Need Opinion - New Profile or No?
Posted a year agoHey All who read this
I was thinking about making a new profile on here all together.
I have not associated with the name Kisa Merula or just Kisa in general, in a few years now.
I no longer related to the character anymore and leaning towards not really identifying as a furry anymore.
In fact...I never really have. I just have been creating sona's over the years that I thought looked cool.
I am now more focused on humans as well for my Sonas or even different species in general that may have animal ears, or tails still.
The up side is that i can show what i really identify with.
The down side is I'm most likely going to lose alot of watchers, but I don't even know who all pays attention to my art anyway.
(i love it alone just knowing that people might be seeing my art still)
The other down side is that well, this IS a furry site and I won't be focusing on my fursonas.
I'd basically be starting all over again.
Should I keep uploading my human/humanoid art here and make a new profile?
OR just move onto a new website all together?
If so what website out there that I could start with?
I recently returned to ArtStation and to Twitter (both not associated with this name or account)
Please let me know your opinions.
Thank you.
artwork (free)
Posted 2 years agoI'm practicing drawing again and i was wanting to draw a couple humaniods, if ya got em, link em but there is no guarantee you'll be drawn.
I'm not talkin about anthros, i;m talkin bout people with animal or alien or anything not normal parts. Commissions Open
Posted 3 years agoAll info can be found here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/kisamerula/Im still here (questions n update)
Posted 3 years agoHey everyone,
I'm trying to get back into art and trying to also make some $$$.
What are some things you do to try an get back into drawing?
I havent been able to actaully enjoy drawing in so long, along with the problem of having no interest in life.
i dont want to die but im just not interested in life anymore.
its so hard to draw, play games, interact with people, keep friends and so on.
how do you get through a rut thats a deep pit that you jus cant seem to get a couple feet back out of without falling right back in?
also about art, what things can i do to try an get people interested in it?
comms open/ bday tomorrow
Posted 4 years agoHey guys,
Its my bday tomorrow and im wanting to get some extra $$$ to buy myself a present or two.
payment through paypal only, no online checks.
Commission tab can be found here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/kisamerula/Life Update & Freebie Friday
Posted 4 years agoLife Update
Im finally out of San Pedro! No more high pollution. No more neighbors getting nearly killed. No more being crammed into a studio bedroom apartment with 2 other adults and a 3 yr old.
We were able to upgrade to a 1 bedroom. This new place is so big we could fit our whole studio into the front room and kitchen area. Its actaully a normal size apartment we live in now but thats how small the studio was. It was insane, annoying, unprivate, no room miserable place. Now i have my own desk that i can use. I still have pretty much only a corner to myself...again. but at least i can have some privacy now and escape from the evil 3yr old. Little demon child he is. I can actaully have free access to the bathroom now and a WHOLE tub. (old place only had a shower and you had to go through the closet to get to it, so if someone was hiding in the closet for privacy for just getting the fuck away from everyone or other stuff, that was the only room that had a closing door)
Freebie Friday
Its the return of free arts on fridays!
Go ahead and link me to your char in the comments below and ill use the random number gen to choose the winner tomorrow!so uh, raffle winner / memory
Posted 5 years agoSo a year ago, i made a big journal about my life updates and boy was it some big changes.
Those including a break up, moving, new diagnosis and other stuff.
One of the things i need to bring up is my new diagnosis from back then. My DID.
dissociative identity disorder
one of the side effects to this is a pretty bad memory. Last weekend, friday, i held a free art raffle
on saturday i announced the winner
i woke up yesterday and thought, oh i need to draw the winners art still!
and thought, oh it'll be ok, its only been a day past the day i was suppose to stream it
i then came to the realization that it has been a week plus! i have no idea where that week went
and i dont member much from it
im sorry that i havent draw it yet, i will get to it i promise
i really do have a poor memory and i really do live in a frantic household alot of the time
and did i mention i love in a small ass studio with 2 other adults an a 3 yr old?
it makes it hard to do anything i enjoy and there is like 0 privacy unless im in the bathroom
Freebie Friday
Posted 5 years agoToday is freebie friday!
Comment below and tomorrow random number generator picks the winner :D
activity updates
Posted 5 years ago Hey guys
i have a weird burst of energy today and gonna upload some stuff
also im gonna be doing some actaul stuff through this week and into the future
one of these things being Freebie Fridays!
ill be making a journal called Freebie Fridays and you guys will let me know if you are interested
you will be assigned a number, this is based on the order the comments are in
after friday is up, ill go here:
https://www.random.org/
i want to do one or two more things like stream!
but im not sure what
hmmhey
Posted 5 years agoI have art in the works. actually got a couple things ive been working on.
im thinking about uploading then as WIPs to show that im still active on here
im worried that ive lost pretty much all my watchers tbh...
i try not to think so negatively but its hard...Become more involved with my watchers?
Posted 5 years agodoes an artist become more involved with their watchers?
Do you guys have any idea(s)?
What would you like to see me do more?
What kind of things should i make? YCHs?
What would you like to be involved in?
(besides actually draw n submit art? lol. i know that actaully doing this will grab more peoples attention)
Let me know below and feel free to discuss with others.
Side Note:Im trying to get my old accounts back, but uh, we'll see how that goes.[/gold]life update
Posted 5 years agoSeizures and Neurology Appointment
Ive been trying a couple diff meds, zoloft and gabapentin. Z for my anxiety and depression, which caused my seizures to become worse and more frequent so i had to stop takin that cold turkey after about a month. the other one was for my seizures which also made them worse. doesnt help that i told this guy i have pseudoseizures (stress induced) and they guy still gave me medicine for epileptic ones. i have stress induced, not epileptic seizures...so after a few weeks i stopped takin that one cuz it made them worse and more frequent as well. I have a neurologist appoint on the 13th so heres hoping that they can help me out and figure out what exactly is going on and what else is possibly going on as well. cuz i have quite a few issues with my brain and body not getting along.
Drawing and Privacy
Its still pretty hard to draw, specially when im as mentally ill as i am, dissociating out the wazoo, living in a chaotic household with pretty much no privacy with two other people and a damn toddler whos loud as fuck. the only privacy you gonna get in the bathroom which is tiny as fuck, not even kidding. and the tiny ass closet that leads to the bathroom, which GL with that cuz did i mention the bathroom is separated by a closet from the bathroom? ITS SO LOUD AAAAHHH
i know i told people that id draw them free art but we'll see how long thats gonna take...i mean it IS free, so if i decide to not draw it in the end it isnt actaully bad business on my end i dont think? i need money though...not to buy stuff but to throw 100 percent at this bill i have ugh...
Vent / Death / Guilt
Posted 5 years agoi have been carrying this guilt, sadness and anger i have over the death of my aunt for 12 years. im finally opening up about it to a family member and i feel like im being a huge burden doing so...i keep going over the grieving process over and over and its always the same. ive only visited her grave twice in 12 years becuz its so hard...idk what to do.
Huge life update!
Posted 6 years agoHey guys, so i havent made a jounral in 7 months. So here is a nice big one:
Break Up
Somewhere in Dec of 2018. Me and my bf at the time, broke up.
We were together for 10 years. 10 crazy ass years.
We both decided that it was better for the both of us and agreed on reasons why it was a good idea.
It was painful in the beginning and not calling each other by our nicknames for each other instead our actually names was hard man,
but over time things got a little easier.
We decided to remain friends.
My first plane ride
On Feb 26th I took a 6 hour plane ride all the way across half the county from IL to CA.
My ex and his mom n dad were kind enough to take me to the airport and see me off.
it was cold that day,it decided to snow and we were all really sad.
Me n my ex could hardly say anything before i headed off into the part where they couldnt follow me in the airport.
We gave each other a hug though.
It took 2 plans for me to get here and it was kinda scary, not gonna lie.
One of the worker ladies was nice enough to sit next to me for the first trip and help distract me to stay grounded.
Being on a plane for the first time, not really knowing what to expect and being scared of heights haha...yeah.
I live in Cali now
Ive been here for almost 8 months now and its SO different here.
People in Cali are so much more open, accepting and caring when it comes to health, mental health and LGBT+!
IL is a fucking shit show and im glad that im out of it.
I do miss people though, but my life here is better.
Its nicer, warmer, my physical health is better too, well, kinda. lol.
Health
My mental health isnt any better its actaully worse, but that comes with the territory of what i have wrong with me.
I have Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Bi Polar Disorder, Age Sliding, Pseudoseizures and one other im not too fond of mentioning yet.
Mainly cuz its a big one and im not so sure how i want to be open with it?? Yeeeeah. Its a coping mechanism that you get from lots of repeated childhood trauma. If you know what it might be please dont mention it in the comments below.
However if you wish to want to talk about it cuz you might have it too. Send a note or add me on discord: Crow God#5426
With the age sliding, it is not something that i willingly do and it is not something i practice.
It is a coping mechanism that my brain slips into in times of stress n shit.
My mind enters an age state between 10 and 5 yrs old. I think i hit 3 once? but it was for a very short amount of time.
Yeah, its crazy.
I am currently seeing a psychologist and for FUCKING ONCE THIS PERSON KNOWS WTF THEIR DOING AND ACTAULLY GIVE A SHIT.
unlike IL *cough*
IHSS Program (Cali)
I had an interview with a lady from this program on Nov 8th.
I have been accepted into said program.
What is it you ask?
Well, you can do one of two things. Be a caregiver or be the one that is taken care of.
I am the one thats going to be taken care of. My mental health has gotten to the point that uh...yeah.
I rank Rank 4 out of 5 for most things and Rank 2 for others.
Rank 5 is basically your a vegetable.
I'm going to be having someone watch and take care of me for 5 - 7 hours a day.
What will this person be doing? Basically everything, but not everything, but pretty damn close.
My arts
Ho boi, have i been not doing that. I have been severly neglecting one of the things i like to do but brain is like nah, your drawings suck, no one likes them and no one is going to. Did i mention that depression is also saying fuck you? yeah...
Well, thats it for now.
Feel free to ask any questions below.
Crow out o/
PS: OH YEAH!
I no longer go by my real name or Kisa. I go by Crow and feel alot more comfortable being called this
(this does not effect my Sona though, however, i do believe i will be making her solely female and not herm. i will also being making a male version of her as well! and i will be using both versions in art to come!)
I also identify as Gender Fluid and im pansexual <3
I mainly identify as a boy now or nothing at all.
Once in a little bit ill identify as a girl.
I have a new tablet!
Posted 7 years agoThanks so much to my BFs grandma who gave me $100 for xmas!
I was able to buy my new tablet, The Wacom Intuos S (Small). It was originally $80, but i got it on sale for $50 :D
I also bought a best of Alice in Chains CD which made my total spending $60.
I used the remaining $40 on house stuff like toilet paper n stuffs and also on some groceries. omnom X3
Ive only practiced a little with my new tablet and the texture when drawing is pretty rough compared to my old one.
My old one was a rubber texture. It had 512 lvls of pressure. This new one has 4K! WOH!Vent art?
Posted 7 years agoI think im going to start drawing vent art again, i like did a long time ago. I used to draw that stuff daily on my original account. and if im gonna start using art as a type of mental release i guess i better start getting on it..ya know?
im guessing no one would have an issue with this, problem being is that its prob not going to look the greatest but oh well, vent art is vent artFA Beta mode is awesome!
Posted 7 years agoIt changes the website ALOT. It takes a bit to get used to, but its way better now IMO.
Its cleaner, looks more appealing in terms of color, not so pixily, brighter.
You no longer have scroll to the bottom of the comment section on a submission to comment.
You can now exceed FAs upload size limit on art, so now you can show the true size of it that you drew it as and actually see the details even more, and no possible gross pixils on your art from shrinkage anymore by updating your submission file on the bottom right
Example: In my picture here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28358773/
If you view it in normal mode, its crushed and you cant see all the detail i put into the coloring process of her clothes.
If you are in Beta mode, ya can see the real full size of the pic an see the detail :D
The profile options and settings tabs are easier to navigate now. (No hovering to get to second options)
Thats all ive seen so far. but feel free to ask questions an i can investigate for the answer for you!.
Thank you so much 
for showing me! <3
Cops were here late last night
Posted 7 years agocops were here last night for 3 hours from 10pm to 1am.
heard 6 pops then a loud yell / groan from neighbor downstairs.
everyone is fine. suppose to keep an eye out for a green pickup in the area in the future.its been really busy! kentucky drive n cleaning
Posted 7 years agoKentucky Drive n Cleaning!
Ive been so busy and sleepy x.x
I no longer have a roommate, so now there is 2 of us instead of 3. Just me n netch now.
I drove my now ex roommates butt all the way to freaking kentucky. i was on the road for 15 hours.
Only got 4 hours of sleep between that and had to drive home all alone for the last 7 an half hours @.@
As you can tell from this journal i am home safe!
i took him on monday and got home on tuesday afternoon.
i saw so many cars between those 15 hours that the first night i tried to sleep back at home i had a hard time falling asleep
i kept seeing cars zooming at me. no like.
today and yesterday i am cleaning the house and getting rid of so much crap and garbage that was left behind by old roommate.
with my netchys help of course, some of the stuff is too heavy to carry since im weak an tiny XD
Drawing and Gaming
I have been working in a commission from my guildy. You can see that in my submissions, or in my gallery.
Been playing FFXIV while taking breaks from cleaning.
New Zoids Anime! WAT!
Posted 7 years agoHey Zoids fans!
There is a new Zoids series FINALLY coming to the world this year.
its called Zoids Wild. i have my doubts about it, but the zoid animation looks way better then the crappy Zoids: Fuzors animation...all those fucked up feet angles..ick
anyways. here is the two trailers we have so far
by the first trailer, you can see that the zoids are alot smaller then normal zoids, and they are being rode on? yeah thats def weird o-o
like, how the fuck the gonna fight with people on their necks? hmm...
also this zoids is happening on earth (rumors), not planet Zi this time.
im still gonna give it a shot man!