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Poor little kitty...
Posted 14 years agoAs I've said in a previous entry, the neighbor across the street from me was kicked out for (what I was told) a whole variety of reasons, such as letting her dog run loose in the neighborhood. (That's a big no-no, that you signed an agreement not to do when you signed the lease to live here.)
And now there's this 5 or 6-month old kitten wandering the area around her house, and I think the woman that was kicked out abandoned the kitten here when she left. The woman had a lot of cats that she let outside, and never spayed her females, so they kept getting pregnant. The woman would then keep the babies, and let them outside, also without spaying/neutering. My neighborhood already has a really bad stray cat problem, and this person was unfortunately contributing to it.
When the woman left, I think she took most of her cats with her, but left some of them behind, including this kitten. She's a beautiful kitten, too. Almost all black, save for one little patch of white on her chest. And she's such a sweet, loving kitty, too!
I feel really bad for her, she's clearly hungry and apparently has nowhere to go. I want to take her in so bad, but I have two cats already...I can't afford three. So I'm going to verify from other neighbors that knew the one that was kicked out to see if the kitten is really abandoned. If that's the case, I want to find her a home. She's so lovable, and she loves everybody. She deserves better than being left out on the street, especially with winter fast approaching.
Wish me luck! =3
~Kyetsu
And now there's this 5 or 6-month old kitten wandering the area around her house, and I think the woman that was kicked out abandoned the kitten here when she left. The woman had a lot of cats that she let outside, and never spayed her females, so they kept getting pregnant. The woman would then keep the babies, and let them outside, also without spaying/neutering. My neighborhood already has a really bad stray cat problem, and this person was unfortunately contributing to it.
When the woman left, I think she took most of her cats with her, but left some of them behind, including this kitten. She's a beautiful kitten, too. Almost all black, save for one little patch of white on her chest. And she's such a sweet, loving kitty, too!
I feel really bad for her, she's clearly hungry and apparently has nowhere to go. I want to take her in so bad, but I have two cats already...I can't afford three. So I'm going to verify from other neighbors that knew the one that was kicked out to see if the kitten is really abandoned. If that's the case, I want to find her a home. She's so lovable, and she loves everybody. She deserves better than being left out on the street, especially with winter fast approaching.
Wish me luck! =3
~Kyetsu
Selective Illness, Stresses, & Neighbor Drama
Posted 14 years agoYesterday at work, I started feeling ill. And then it got worse as the day went on. By the end of the day, my entire body ached, I had chills, lightheadedness, and I overall felt like I had a fever. But it was the end of the day at that point, so I told myself that I'll go home and get to bed nice and early, hoping that a good night's sleep will at least help relieve the problem.
I left work that evening and got home...And immediately felt better. o.0
The best I can make of this is stress getting to me. I have plenty. At work, my coworkers are getting more and more dependent on me to pick up their slack, so they have more time to get paid to stand around and talk. The managers are aware of this problem, and are taking steps to fix it...But when 90+% of the people I work with have gotten used to me being a workaholic and nothing else of importance, it's a hard thing for them to suddenly adjust to actually having to take an even share of the workload, apparently. The best I can do about this situation right now is to give the managers time to work on it, and talk to them about issues when needed. The fact that I'm not getting good sleep at night, and the fact that I think I'm getting burned out (both of which are prolly also caused by stress) certainly won't help matters.
And recently, the neighbor that lived across the street from me was kicked out, because her house was declared uninhabitable. She had windows missing from her home, and she didn't have electricity. I think it royally sucks that The Powers That Be would rather have a person be homeless than to have a roof over their head in less than ideal conditions, but that's another rant for another time.
My mother has been obsessed with this house. And my sister walks that way every day to keep tabs on my place and report what she finds (or made up) to my mother, so she's talking about it as well. And she also reports whatever else she supposedly heard from this or that person in the neighborhood. Apparently, my sister walks down the street, and random people come up to her and tell her all sorts of private details about everyone's lives. Yeah, see if that makes sense to you.
And my sister's just as obsessed with this house, and is more than likely the cause of my mother's obsession. She tells my mother every day about the big "Uninhabitable" sticker on the neighbor's front door. So every time I visit my mother, she tells me that my sister walked by again and saw the same sticker again. No new info...Just "She saw that sticker on the door again!" I want to tell her to shut the hell up about it already, but I know from past experience that will just result in her telling me that I'm stupid before acting like I never said anything to begin with. So that's just a pointless route to take.
My mother gave me a ride home from work a few nights ago, and there were two police cars parked outside the neighbor's house. My mother dropped me off and decided not to stay, not wanting to look either shady or like she's trying to stick her nose where it didn't belong, neither of which I really blame her for. But since I live right across the street, I ended up catching a good bit of what happened. Between what I witnessed first-hand, and what was later told to me by the neighbor two houses down from me that was there for the whole thing, I found out the woman was still living in the house, even though she was legally being forced to leave. She was also letting her dog run loose through the neighborhood, a complaint I've heard many times before she was kicked out, and I even got a call from the property manager of my neighborhood at one point, asking if I had seen the dog run loose. (I didn't at the time of that call, but I was warned to keep an eye out for it.) The woman's dog had run into another yard and attacked that neighbor's dog, and they consequently called the police to report both the dog and the fact that she was living in a home she shouldn't have been in.
The next day, I told my mother about what I saw/heard. She immediately told me that she didn't think it was true. Why? "{My sister} didn't hear anything about that!" Nevermind the fact that I was there...Nevermind the fact that she dropped me off in the middle of the drama...Nevermind the fact that the neighbor that filled in the missing details I wasn't there for is the daughter of the property manager...Because my sister hasn't heard about this from some random person walking up to her and spilling details, it never happened. Period.
And I know that on the off-chance my sister actually does hear about what happened, either the actual story, or something she/whoever she talks to made up for the Cool Story, my mother will immediately believe her story without question, and will not, under any circumstances, believe that I had said something first, or that...you know...I was there when it happened. The fact that my sister hasn't heard anything yet makes me want to call Bullshit on her saying all these neighbors tell her everyone else's business. They supposedly talk to her every day about all of these super-secret conspiracies and what neighbor does what kind of shady business in their spare time, you'd think they would have said something about the police coming through and neighbors screaming at each other and such by now.
But even if I prove her to be a liar (again), my mother will still take my sister's word over mine. As it is, anytime I mention what I saw and heard that night, she's already forgotten that I had previously said anything about being there. I guess my sister had to be there too in order for my mother to believe that I saw it myself or something. She also refuses to believe anything I heard from neighbors I'm close with, also because my sister hasn't heard anything about it. The guy that was kicked out for shooting a neighbor's dog? Couldn't have happened, even though said neighbor and his home are gone, and the dog that was shot was bandaged up for several weeks. (Yes, thankfully, the dog survived.) Granted, I'm going by the say-so of someone who claimed to have been there, but logically speaking, I'm on even ground with my sister's gossip, prolly slightly higher, since the people who talk to me are people I talk to on a regular basis, where my sister claims that random neighbors she might have seen more than once are just spontaneously deciding to run up to her and tell her all about the secret happenings of the neighborhood. Yet my mother will still think everything my sister says is true and factual, where anything I say is completely made up, and therefore should be ignored and promptly forgotten about.
I need a new family. The one I have don't work right.
~Kyetsu
I left work that evening and got home...And immediately felt better. o.0
The best I can make of this is stress getting to me. I have plenty. At work, my coworkers are getting more and more dependent on me to pick up their slack, so they have more time to get paid to stand around and talk. The managers are aware of this problem, and are taking steps to fix it...But when 90+% of the people I work with have gotten used to me being a workaholic and nothing else of importance, it's a hard thing for them to suddenly adjust to actually having to take an even share of the workload, apparently. The best I can do about this situation right now is to give the managers time to work on it, and talk to them about issues when needed. The fact that I'm not getting good sleep at night, and the fact that I think I'm getting burned out (both of which are prolly also caused by stress) certainly won't help matters.
And recently, the neighbor that lived across the street from me was kicked out, because her house was declared uninhabitable. She had windows missing from her home, and she didn't have electricity. I think it royally sucks that The Powers That Be would rather have a person be homeless than to have a roof over their head in less than ideal conditions, but that's another rant for another time.
My mother has been obsessed with this house. And my sister walks that way every day to keep tabs on my place and report what she finds (or made up) to my mother, so she's talking about it as well. And she also reports whatever else she supposedly heard from this or that person in the neighborhood. Apparently, my sister walks down the street, and random people come up to her and tell her all sorts of private details about everyone's lives. Yeah, see if that makes sense to you.
And my sister's just as obsessed with this house, and is more than likely the cause of my mother's obsession. She tells my mother every day about the big "Uninhabitable" sticker on the neighbor's front door. So every time I visit my mother, she tells me that my sister walked by again and saw the same sticker again. No new info...Just "She saw that sticker on the door again!" I want to tell her to shut the hell up about it already, but I know from past experience that will just result in her telling me that I'm stupid before acting like I never said anything to begin with. So that's just a pointless route to take.
My mother gave me a ride home from work a few nights ago, and there were two police cars parked outside the neighbor's house. My mother dropped me off and decided not to stay, not wanting to look either shady or like she's trying to stick her nose where it didn't belong, neither of which I really blame her for. But since I live right across the street, I ended up catching a good bit of what happened. Between what I witnessed first-hand, and what was later told to me by the neighbor two houses down from me that was there for the whole thing, I found out the woman was still living in the house, even though she was legally being forced to leave. She was also letting her dog run loose through the neighborhood, a complaint I've heard many times before she was kicked out, and I even got a call from the property manager of my neighborhood at one point, asking if I had seen the dog run loose. (I didn't at the time of that call, but I was warned to keep an eye out for it.) The woman's dog had run into another yard and attacked that neighbor's dog, and they consequently called the police to report both the dog and the fact that she was living in a home she shouldn't have been in.
The next day, I told my mother about what I saw/heard. She immediately told me that she didn't think it was true. Why? "{My sister} didn't hear anything about that!" Nevermind the fact that I was there...Nevermind the fact that she dropped me off in the middle of the drama...Nevermind the fact that the neighbor that filled in the missing details I wasn't there for is the daughter of the property manager...Because my sister hasn't heard about this from some random person walking up to her and spilling details, it never happened. Period.
And I know that on the off-chance my sister actually does hear about what happened, either the actual story, or something she/whoever she talks to made up for the Cool Story, my mother will immediately believe her story without question, and will not, under any circumstances, believe that I had said something first, or that...you know...I was there when it happened. The fact that my sister hasn't heard anything yet makes me want to call Bullshit on her saying all these neighbors tell her everyone else's business. They supposedly talk to her every day about all of these super-secret conspiracies and what neighbor does what kind of shady business in their spare time, you'd think they would have said something about the police coming through and neighbors screaming at each other and such by now.
But even if I prove her to be a liar (again), my mother will still take my sister's word over mine. As it is, anytime I mention what I saw and heard that night, she's already forgotten that I had previously said anything about being there. I guess my sister had to be there too in order for my mother to believe that I saw it myself or something. She also refuses to believe anything I heard from neighbors I'm close with, also because my sister hasn't heard anything about it. The guy that was kicked out for shooting a neighbor's dog? Couldn't have happened, even though said neighbor and his home are gone, and the dog that was shot was bandaged up for several weeks. (Yes, thankfully, the dog survived.) Granted, I'm going by the say-so of someone who claimed to have been there, but logically speaking, I'm on even ground with my sister's gossip, prolly slightly higher, since the people who talk to me are people I talk to on a regular basis, where my sister claims that random neighbors she might have seen more than once are just spontaneously deciding to run up to her and tell her all about the secret happenings of the neighborhood. Yet my mother will still think everything my sister says is true and factual, where anything I say is completely made up, and therefore should be ignored and promptly forgotten about.
I need a new family. The one I have don't work right.
~Kyetsu
Injured ankle update...
Posted 14 years agoSo my right ankle is officially swollen almost twice it's size, and has a noticible bulge sticking out of one side that's slightly discolored. Oddly enough, I'm still walking on it fine. =\ Still in annoying amounts of pain, but I don't have a noticable limp (yet).
At least I have the weekend off...Furbowl Saturday, but they have lots of seats I can use. =3
~Kyetsu
At least I have the weekend off...Furbowl Saturday, but they have lots of seats I can use. =3
~Kyetsu
Absurdly-high pain tolerance, GO!
Posted 14 years agoMy right ankle's been bugging me for the better part of the past week and a half, maybe longer. I figured I must have strained something, possibly at work, and it was taking a lot longer to heal because I'm still working, and therefore still on my feet a lot. Besides, my entire right leg is significantly weaker than my left, due to an injury to my knee many, many years ago.
Just a few hours ago, though, I took off my shoes, and noticed the area around my ankle is getting discolored now.
Frikkin' great!
Oddly enough, though, I'm not in nearly as much pain as I'd thought I'd be for having an anklle injured to the point of noticable discoloration. I'm not even limping or anything. I know I have a high tolerance for pain (stop looking at me like that...) , but I never thought it was that high! =P And thankfully, it's not a large area that's discolored...Just about a 1-inch spot slightly over the ankle bone, right where the pain is the strongest.
And, as expected, my mother is little to no help. She never believed me when I said that I was injured, and would just tell me I made it up for attention. Now that she's seen that it's turning funny colors, she's basically responding with "Oh, it's your fault you're hurt because you work so much! By the way, you need to take out my trash/get my heavy shit out of my car/lug that heavy shit up three flights of stairs/move my furniture around my apartment...(etc.)"
Hopefully, if I rest it enough when I'm not working my ass off, it'll heal alright. I can always try...and hope. Mostly hope.
~Kyetsu
Just a few hours ago, though, I took off my shoes, and noticed the area around my ankle is getting discolored now.
Frikkin' great!
Oddly enough, though, I'm not in nearly as much pain as I'd thought I'd be for having an anklle injured to the point of noticable discoloration. I'm not even limping or anything. I know I have a high tolerance for pain (stop looking at me like that...) , but I never thought it was that high! =P And thankfully, it's not a large area that's discolored...Just about a 1-inch spot slightly over the ankle bone, right where the pain is the strongest.
And, as expected, my mother is little to no help. She never believed me when I said that I was injured, and would just tell me I made it up for attention. Now that she's seen that it's turning funny colors, she's basically responding with "Oh, it's your fault you're hurt because you work so much! By the way, you need to take out my trash/get my heavy shit out of my car/lug that heavy shit up three flights of stairs/move my furniture around my apartment...(etc.)"
Hopefully, if I rest it enough when I'm not working my ass off, it'll heal alright. I can always try...and hope. Mostly hope.
~Kyetsu
Well, today was interesting...
Posted 14 years agoSo, I was at my local library today, minding my own business and playing my Facebook games, when the power in the whole building cut out for a second. "No biggie", I thought, power outs happen, and it came back on almost immediately, so all was well...So I thought.
A few minutes later, I felt vibrations at my feet. It felt like someone moving something really heavy across the floor, which is what I wrote it off as at first. But then the vibrations got stronger. I turned around, and nobody was moving anything that I could see...
...And that's when the entire three-story building started shaking.
I guess with the size of the building, it felt and sounded like the whole place was about to colapse down on us. So I got my stuff and ran to GTFO the library faster than I've ever gotten out of a building before. Thankfully, nothing was damaged, and nobody had anything fall on them.
People in Virginia, though, where it hit, are not so lucky. I hope they're all doing alright. Someone I used to work with, who me and my other coworkers are all good frinds with, is down that way, and I haven't heard anything about how he's doing yet. I haven't heard anything bad, so I got my hopes up that he's okay.
And now I'm at McDonalds, trying to enjoy some dinner before work, and a van lost control and flipped over, landing on its side. Both of the people in there got out and seem fine, so I'm glad to see that. It's still mad crazy out there right now.
Also, dammit, "Y" key! Function right before I have to slap you! =P
~Kyestu
A few minutes later, I felt vibrations at my feet. It felt like someone moving something really heavy across the floor, which is what I wrote it off as at first. But then the vibrations got stronger. I turned around, and nobody was moving anything that I could see...
...And that's when the entire three-story building started shaking.
I guess with the size of the building, it felt and sounded like the whole place was about to colapse down on us. So I got my stuff and ran to GTFO the library faster than I've ever gotten out of a building before. Thankfully, nothing was damaged, and nobody had anything fall on them.
People in Virginia, though, where it hit, are not so lucky. I hope they're all doing alright. Someone I used to work with, who me and my other coworkers are all good frinds with, is down that way, and I haven't heard anything about how he's doing yet. I haven't heard anything bad, so I got my hopes up that he's okay.
And now I'm at McDonalds, trying to enjoy some dinner before work, and a van lost control and flipped over, landing on its side. Both of the people in there got out and seem fine, so I'm glad to see that. It's still mad crazy out there right now.
Also, dammit, "Y" key! Function right before I have to slap you! =P
~Kyestu
Squicky Gross-Out Post of the Week
Posted 14 years agoSomehow or another, I managed to get poison ivy on the bottom of my foot. The best explaination I can think of for this is that I must have taken the trash out late one night, after I had taken my shoes and socks off, and for some reason, I had to step off my front steps to put the bag in the outside can. That's really the only instance I can think of where I may have been anywhere barefoot, save the inside of my house (and I doubt I have poison ivy growing in there).
However it got there, it's been getting really annoying, since it's right under the arch of my foot. And it was starting to develop a rather sizable blister full of poison ivy goop. I wanted to drain it, but I obviously don't want said poison ivy goop to spread any further than it has already. So I decided to just be careful with it until it had time to heal.
Fast forward to last night, when the blister had suddenly grown to about the length and width of my thumbnail, was bulging out a good 1/4 inch, and was painful as hell. It looked and felt like I had a small rock imbedded into the bottom of my foot, and walking was just this side of impossible. So facing that, and having to work two jobs for the rest of the week, I finally caved in and did my homegrown foot surgery, armed with a heat-sterilized saftey pin and a paper towel to soak up whatever came out of it.
And damn, there was a lot of "whatever" that came out of it! It must have swollen pretty deep into my foot as well (which would explain the pain), because I've never seen that much liquid come out of a blister before. And it had this weird yellow-orange tint to it...Dunno if that's from it being a poison ivy blister, or if it had swollen so badly that some blood got into it as well, but after it all came out, the pain relief was instantaneous. I'll tell you one thing: Nothing makes someone appreciate the simple pleasure of walking than when they suddenly can't. And I'm relieved that I can walk again, even if my foot looks pathetic, all bandaged up and whatnot.
...Except now I have a huge crater on my foot...which is prolly still being affected by poison ivy...
...FML. 4srs.
~Kyetsu
However it got there, it's been getting really annoying, since it's right under the arch of my foot. And it was starting to develop a rather sizable blister full of poison ivy goop. I wanted to drain it, but I obviously don't want said poison ivy goop to spread any further than it has already. So I decided to just be careful with it until it had time to heal.
Fast forward to last night, when the blister had suddenly grown to about the length and width of my thumbnail, was bulging out a good 1/4 inch, and was painful as hell. It looked and felt like I had a small rock imbedded into the bottom of my foot, and walking was just this side of impossible. So facing that, and having to work two jobs for the rest of the week, I finally caved in and did my homegrown foot surgery, armed with a heat-sterilized saftey pin and a paper towel to soak up whatever came out of it.
And damn, there was a lot of "whatever" that came out of it! It must have swollen pretty deep into my foot as well (which would explain the pain), because I've never seen that much liquid come out of a blister before. And it had this weird yellow-orange tint to it...Dunno if that's from it being a poison ivy blister, or if it had swollen so badly that some blood got into it as well, but after it all came out, the pain relief was instantaneous. I'll tell you one thing: Nothing makes someone appreciate the simple pleasure of walking than when they suddenly can't. And I'm relieved that I can walk again, even if my foot looks pathetic, all bandaged up and whatnot.
...Except now I have a huge crater on my foot...which is prolly still being affected by poison ivy...
...FML. 4srs.
~Kyetsu
Salad?
Posted 14 years agoSo, I'm over my mother's house, helping her with various housework she can't do anymore for health reasons, when she decides to make dinner. Enter brilliant conversation of the evening:
Mother: "I made salad for dinner! Go ahead and have some!"
Me: *opens tupperware container* "...That's just a bowl of lettuce."
Mother: "Yeah, that's what a salad is!"
Me: *facepalm*
On the plus side, she's not calling me fat like she usually does...Prolly because I'm eating "salad".
~Kyetsu
Mother: "I made salad for dinner! Go ahead and have some!"
Me: *opens tupperware container* "...That's just a bowl of lettuce."
Mother: "Yeah, that's what a salad is!"
Me: *facepalm*
On the plus side, she's not calling me fat like she usually does...Prolly because I'm eating "salad".
~Kyetsu
Bushy Hedges (And how they disappeared...)
Posted 14 years agoI have (well, had) a row of hedges that went along the side of my house. Last summer, the high heat and little rain all but killed said hedges off. The leaves were all brown, and when winter hit, the snow piled on top of them bent the branches outward, blocking my sidewalk. But there was some new growth trying to come in towards the very bottom of the hedges, so they weren't actually dead. I just needed to cut them way back, so the new plant can grow in.
I was trying to get one of my neighbors to cut it back, since he had a power cutter, but his cutter needs to be plugged into an outlet, and my outdoor outlet doesn't work. So we were trying tto arrange a time when we would both be around, so I could plug it into my indoor outlet. But our shcedules never really matched up too well, as much as we tried. I even tried doing this myself, at least to get it looking nicer, even borrowing a pair of heavy-duty (non-power) cutters from someone, but there was too much for me to do alone. But I finally got together with the neighbor, and he got it all cut back. Now, the hedges are cut back to the stumps, where it has plenty of space to grow without all the dead plant blocking it.
It looks so...different. It's almost depressing, being used to seeing those hedges there for the three+ years I've lived here, and now they're gone. But I know it had to be done. The weren't gonna start looking any better just sitting there, brown and wilted. And thankfully, they're not gone for good. In a few years, they'll grow back to their original, bushy glory. I'm considering getting a fertilizer to put down there to help them grow, but I wanna do some reaserch as to what I should use before investing in it. Either way, I'll be happy once they grow back in again.
And now I got to deal with my mother...again. Since my sister lives in the same neighborhood as me, and my mother spends so much time with her, my mother woulld visit her/drop her off from wherever she wanted to go that day, and then drive over to my house to inspect it (at least what she could see without being able to go inside), calling me up to tell me every little thing she found wrong. The hedges were her favorite thing to get on my case about, since that was the part of the house that was actually bad, as opposed to the stuff that was only bad in her opinion. Now that the hedges are cut back, you'd think she'd STFU about that, right?
WRONG!
Now she calls me to tell me how she's so happy she always called me to tell me about the hedges, despite the fact that it was blatently obvious that they were in bad shape, and I've even told her that when she called me before they were cut. But she insists that I "didn't know" that they were looking bad, and had she not called me every day to tell me that, I never would have gotten them cut back.
Really, now...If I do something wrong, it's because I'm an idiot and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. If I do something right, it's only because I was told to do it, because I'm too stupid to have thought of it myself.
I just can't win, can I?
~Kyetsu
I was trying to get one of my neighbors to cut it back, since he had a power cutter, but his cutter needs to be plugged into an outlet, and my outdoor outlet doesn't work. So we were trying tto arrange a time when we would both be around, so I could plug it into my indoor outlet. But our shcedules never really matched up too well, as much as we tried. I even tried doing this myself, at least to get it looking nicer, even borrowing a pair of heavy-duty (non-power) cutters from someone, but there was too much for me to do alone. But I finally got together with the neighbor, and he got it all cut back. Now, the hedges are cut back to the stumps, where it has plenty of space to grow without all the dead plant blocking it.
It looks so...different. It's almost depressing, being used to seeing those hedges there for the three+ years I've lived here, and now they're gone. But I know it had to be done. The weren't gonna start looking any better just sitting there, brown and wilted. And thankfully, they're not gone for good. In a few years, they'll grow back to their original, bushy glory. I'm considering getting a fertilizer to put down there to help them grow, but I wanna do some reaserch as to what I should use before investing in it. Either way, I'll be happy once they grow back in again.
And now I got to deal with my mother...again. Since my sister lives in the same neighborhood as me, and my mother spends so much time with her, my mother woulld visit her/drop her off from wherever she wanted to go that day, and then drive over to my house to inspect it (at least what she could see without being able to go inside), calling me up to tell me every little thing she found wrong. The hedges were her favorite thing to get on my case about, since that was the part of the house that was actually bad, as opposed to the stuff that was only bad in her opinion. Now that the hedges are cut back, you'd think she'd STFU about that, right?
WRONG!
Now she calls me to tell me how she's so happy she always called me to tell me about the hedges, despite the fact that it was blatently obvious that they were in bad shape, and I've even told her that when she called me before they were cut. But she insists that I "didn't know" that they were looking bad, and had she not called me every day to tell me that, I never would have gotten them cut back.
Really, now...If I do something wrong, it's because I'm an idiot and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. If I do something right, it's only because I was told to do it, because I'm too stupid to have thought of it myself.
I just can't win, can I?
~Kyetsu
That idea thing...
Posted 14 years agoIt seems that almost everywhere I go, if I present an idea for something, either for an improvement of something estabblished, a new idea nodody's tried or done before, or I note a problem and an idea to fix it, I'm told it's stupid, not important, or otherwse not a good idea. Sometime later, sometimes later on the same day, somebody else presents the same idea to the same people, and now it's so awesome, and OMG that person's a geeeeniiiiiusssss! The fact that I said something first is never even remembered, let alone taken into consideration. And if I complain, or just mention anything about it, I just get told that the person who took the idea is smarter, more popular, or otherwise better than me, therefore nobody's ever gonna give a shit about what I say, so who cares?
This happens almost daily, and almost everywhere I go: With family, work, and a ton of other places I frequently go to and talk to people. I've gotten to the point that I'm just not gonna say anything, since it's just gonna get shot down, and later taken by someone else that will get all the credit. Having that happen every so often isn't all that bad, and I'd be willing to let that roll off my back, and prolly write it off as a misunderstanding. But when it happens every time I open my mouth, it gets frustrating as hell.
At least, that's what I can quickly type out before going in to work, anyway.
~Kyetsu
This happens almost daily, and almost everywhere I go: With family, work, and a ton of other places I frequently go to and talk to people. I've gotten to the point that I'm just not gonna say anything, since it's just gonna get shot down, and later taken by someone else that will get all the credit. Having that happen every so often isn't all that bad, and I'd be willing to let that roll off my back, and prolly write it off as a misunderstanding. But when it happens every time I open my mouth, it gets frustrating as hell.
At least, that's what I can quickly type out before going in to work, anyway.
~Kyetsu
Ideas
Posted 14 years agoI come up with an idea, nobody likes it, and I'm told not to bother continuing.
Someone else takes the idea, rephrases just enough of it to sound like they came up with it first, now everyone loves it.
I point out that I came up with said idea first, I'm given a long-winded explanation that all boils down to "Oh, well, you're not popular enough for anyone to care."
Fuck this shit, I'm done.
~Kyetsu
Someone else takes the idea, rephrases just enough of it to sound like they came up with it first, now everyone loves it.
I point out that I came up with said idea first, I'm given a long-winded explanation that all boils down to "Oh, well, you're not popular enough for anyone to care."
Fuck this shit, I'm done.
~Kyetsu
60% off Zazzle posters today only! Do it! =3
Posted 14 years agoNormally, I don't post ads like this, but hey, this is a damn good deal. Today only (July 11th), Zazzle's letting you get 60% off any posters on their site! Just use the code ZBDAYPOSTERS at checkout.
Mind if I make some suggestions? =3
Rykin Sitting: http://www.zazzle.com/rykin_sitting.....14375671769741
Dragon Love: http://www.zazzle.com/dragon_love_p.....14375671769741
Flying High: http://www.zazzle.com/flying_high_p.....14375671769741
~Kyetsu
Mind if I make some suggestions? =3
Rykin Sitting: http://www.zazzle.com/rykin_sitting.....14375671769741
Dragon Love: http://www.zazzle.com/dragon_love_p.....14375671769741
Flying High: http://www.zazzle.com/flying_high_p.....14375671769741
~Kyetsu
Stalker update: Protecting myself.
Posted 14 years agoFirst off, thank you for the replies yesterday. I feel better knowing that there's people out there willing to help me watch my back.
I've completely changed up my routine, leaving and getting home earlier, and I try to get a ride whenever possible. If I have to stay out later (such as working later than usual or pulling extra hours) I'm going to make sure I have a ride home, either from a coworker or by calling/texting a friend. I also spoke with a few nieghbors yesterday, and let them know about the situation and what to look for. Not only for my personal safety, but the safety of everyone living in the neighborhood. Even if he gives up on me, I shudder to think of him finding someone else to harrass or worse. I'm also investing in a can of pepper spray, and I'm looking into taking some self-defense classes.
I haven't seen him yesterday, since changing my routine and schedule up, which is great. And since I got up/left early again today, as well as getting a ride from the same neighbor again, I haven't seen him this morning, either. I'm hoping that by not seeing me for a while, that will discourage him to continue his harassment.
However, even if he does give up on me, I'm still taking this as a wake-up call for me to better protect myself. If nothing else, than just for the fact that I'm a single woman living alone...Which creepers like this see as vulnerable.
~Kyetsu
I've completely changed up my routine, leaving and getting home earlier, and I try to get a ride whenever possible. If I have to stay out later (such as working later than usual or pulling extra hours) I'm going to make sure I have a ride home, either from a coworker or by calling/texting a friend. I also spoke with a few nieghbors yesterday, and let them know about the situation and what to look for. Not only for my personal safety, but the safety of everyone living in the neighborhood. Even if he gives up on me, I shudder to think of him finding someone else to harrass or worse. I'm also investing in a can of pepper spray, and I'm looking into taking some self-defense classes.
I haven't seen him yesterday, since changing my routine and schedule up, which is great. And since I got up/left early again today, as well as getting a ride from the same neighbor again, I haven't seen him this morning, either. I'm hoping that by not seeing me for a while, that will discourage him to continue his harassment.
However, even if he does give up on me, I'm still taking this as a wake-up call for me to better protect myself. If nothing else, than just for the fact that I'm a single woman living alone...Which creepers like this see as vulnerable.
~Kyetsu
I'm beng stalked...I mean that literally.
Posted 14 years agoI don't know what else to do at this point, and I'm hoping to get some additional advice from someone out there on the internets, as this is gettng quite frightening!
As quite a few of you may know already, I'm a single woman living by myself (no roomates). I walk to and from work, and usually work the same shift every day. Over the past few days, I've been stalked by a man who follows me on my route. He doesn't know where I live or where I work, but he knows the route I take to work and the neighborhood I live in, which only has one entrance/exit.
Every morning, he waits in his car about halfway through my route, and demands that I get in. When I refuse, he repeats his demands, usually with things like "Baby! Come on! Get in!" or a variation, and often with "air kisses" in my direction. I'll continute to refuse and walk away, but he'll drive alongside me on the opposite shoulder (I walk on the opposing traffic side of the road), continuing his demands. Eventually, he gets the idea that I'm not getting in his car, and he drives off...Only to show up at the entrance to my neighborhood that evening waiting for me, where the scenario repeats.
Under the advice of a neighbor, who witnessed this man harrassing me, I'll be writing his tag number down if I see him again and call the police. I didn't see him this morning, because I got up and left an hour earlier, and another neighbor gave me a ride to work. I worry that he may still wait for me in my neighborhood tonight, though.
What I want to know is, aside from recording his tags and calling the police, is there any other protection or precautions I can give myself? Anything I can do to make sure this doesn't escalate into me being attacked by this man? I would rather be paranoid than injured, raped, or worse.
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me!
~Kyetsu
As quite a few of you may know already, I'm a single woman living by myself (no roomates). I walk to and from work, and usually work the same shift every day. Over the past few days, I've been stalked by a man who follows me on my route. He doesn't know where I live or where I work, but he knows the route I take to work and the neighborhood I live in, which only has one entrance/exit.
Every morning, he waits in his car about halfway through my route, and demands that I get in. When I refuse, he repeats his demands, usually with things like "Baby! Come on! Get in!" or a variation, and often with "air kisses" in my direction. I'll continute to refuse and walk away, but he'll drive alongside me on the opposite shoulder (I walk on the opposing traffic side of the road), continuing his demands. Eventually, he gets the idea that I'm not getting in his car, and he drives off...Only to show up at the entrance to my neighborhood that evening waiting for me, where the scenario repeats.
Under the advice of a neighbor, who witnessed this man harrassing me, I'll be writing his tag number down if I see him again and call the police. I didn't see him this morning, because I got up and left an hour earlier, and another neighbor gave me a ride to work. I worry that he may still wait for me in my neighborhood tonight, though.
What I want to know is, aside from recording his tags and calling the police, is there any other protection or precautions I can give myself? Anything I can do to make sure this doesn't escalate into me being attacked by this man? I would rather be paranoid than injured, raped, or worse.
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me!
~Kyetsu
Livejournal users - Free Icon!
Posted 14 years agohttp://djinni.livejournal.com/320272.html
I love the icons Djinni makes, and I've even had one made by him before. -->http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4828647 So here I am, trying to help a great artist get more recognition for their work! You won't be disappointed! =3
~Kyetsu
I love the icons Djinni makes, and I've even had one made by him before. -->http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4828647 So here I am, trying to help a great artist get more recognition for their work! You won't be disappointed! =3
~Kyetsu
It's been stuck in my head all day...So shush.
Posted 14 years ago~Kyetsu
So, comics and motivation...
Posted 14 years agoI'm getting back to working on my webcomic, Ralynkei. I've gotten tired of it sitting there, doing nothing but looking pretty. So I'm in the middle of revamping the site itself, getting a more organized store set up, but that's just the fancy frame. I need to work on the big picture, the comics themselves. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head, and even some thumbnail sketches for two or three of them. But when I sit down to actually work on the comic, I just stare at the page until I get the urge to do something else instead.
What I need is some better motivation. Sure, I can tell myself "If I work on these comics, I can get uber-popular and make lotsa monies!", but that's something that will take years, if it even happens at all. I think I need a more short-term goal-and-reward to meet, something small to start with, and I can eventually build up to bigger and better things as I meet the small goals. Something on the lines of "If I can finish one page of comics by the end of the week, I'll get ____" (fill in the blank). It doesn't have to be something that involves spending money (and prolly shouldn't, I need to keep to a budget), but something small to congratulate myself and keep me motivated to do more. And once I get myself on that roll, hopefully it will snowball into Really Nice Things™.
It's better than trying to force myself to be creative when my mind doesn't wanna be.
~Kyetsu
What I need is some better motivation. Sure, I can tell myself "If I work on these comics, I can get uber-popular and make lotsa monies!", but that's something that will take years, if it even happens at all. I think I need a more short-term goal-and-reward to meet, something small to start with, and I can eventually build up to bigger and better things as I meet the small goals. Something on the lines of "If I can finish one page of comics by the end of the week, I'll get ____" (fill in the blank). It doesn't have to be something that involves spending money (and prolly shouldn't, I need to keep to a budget), but something small to congratulate myself and keep me motivated to do more. And once I get myself on that roll, hopefully it will snowball into Really Nice Things™.
It's better than trying to force myself to be creative when my mind doesn't wanna be.
~Kyetsu
Family obligations...
Posted 14 years agoI might as well come right out and say this one...My father has cancer. I actually got the call that informed me of this on my birthday, of all days, but I've never been all that open about it until now. The rest of my family is telling me to go see him, and to be honest, I want to. Even though he never accepted the fact that he had a daughter until late last year, even though it took a rumor that I killed myself for him to do that much, he is still half of the reason I exist.
Problem is, I can't drop my entire life to get to him. He lives over an hour drive from my place, so I can't exactly walk there. And with a vehicle in repair, I can't drive there, either. So I either get a ride from another family member, or I can't go there. They refuse to do this, and in the next breath, tell me I'm a horrible, selfish person for not going.
And then there's the phone calls. Gah, the phone calls! My older brothers will call me at random, and it freaks me the hell out every time, because I think that's going to be THE CALL. But then it turns out that they just want to give me a speech about how they're so great and I'm so bad and I should feel bad and so on. And I have to remember not to answer "What are you doing right now?" with "Hanging out with friends", because they'll always translate that to "I'm not at work, so you can talk at me as long as you want." Since, you know, I'm incapable of actually making friends, so I must be sitting alone with my imaginary friends or something.
Really, though...I feel horrible that I haven't been able to visit my father since he was diagnosed. I want to, a lot. But I don't need daily reminders that I haven't done so yet, and I'm a bad daughter for neglecting said visits.
Speaking of family obligations, my sister gets married on the 30th of this month. Thankfully, this is the sister that I can actually tolerate. The sister I don't speak to (and would rather never speak to if I can help it) is already married. I decided it was better to just go to the wedding and avoid all the drama that would come out of refusing to go. So I'm going out of my way to request off work, get some nice clothes that coordinate with her ultra-super-special color scheme, and even deal with being within the same building as BitchSister for a few hours.
So my mother's going on one of her daily ramblings on the wedding, and how it'll be so awesome, and my sister's so awesome, etc. And then she drops it on me that my sister arranged the seating so that I'm not sitting with the family.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because you don't get along with [BitchSister], and you're not participating in the wedding, anyway." was her response.
Confused, I ask "But didn't you have a whole thing about how I had to go because I'm family?"
Her "logic": "Yeah, but you're not part of the wedding, so you're seperate from the family."
*EyerollFacepalmHeaddesk*
I really wonder how much of my stress is actually worth stuff like this...
~Kyetsu
Problem is, I can't drop my entire life to get to him. He lives over an hour drive from my place, so I can't exactly walk there. And with a vehicle in repair, I can't drive there, either. So I either get a ride from another family member, or I can't go there. They refuse to do this, and in the next breath, tell me I'm a horrible, selfish person for not going.
And then there's the phone calls. Gah, the phone calls! My older brothers will call me at random, and it freaks me the hell out every time, because I think that's going to be THE CALL. But then it turns out that they just want to give me a speech about how they're so great and I'm so bad and I should feel bad and so on. And I have to remember not to answer "What are you doing right now?" with "Hanging out with friends", because they'll always translate that to "I'm not at work, so you can talk at me as long as you want." Since, you know, I'm incapable of actually making friends, so I must be sitting alone with my imaginary friends or something.
Really, though...I feel horrible that I haven't been able to visit my father since he was diagnosed. I want to, a lot. But I don't need daily reminders that I haven't done so yet, and I'm a bad daughter for neglecting said visits.
Speaking of family obligations, my sister gets married on the 30th of this month. Thankfully, this is the sister that I can actually tolerate. The sister I don't speak to (and would rather never speak to if I can help it) is already married. I decided it was better to just go to the wedding and avoid all the drama that would come out of refusing to go. So I'm going out of my way to request off work, get some nice clothes that coordinate with her ultra-super-special color scheme, and even deal with being within the same building as BitchSister for a few hours.
So my mother's going on one of her daily ramblings on the wedding, and how it'll be so awesome, and my sister's so awesome, etc. And then she drops it on me that my sister arranged the seating so that I'm not sitting with the family.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because you don't get along with [BitchSister], and you're not participating in the wedding, anyway." was her response.
Confused, I ask "But didn't you have a whole thing about how I had to go because I'm family?"
Her "logic": "Yeah, but you're not part of the wedding, so you're seperate from the family."
*EyerollFacepalmHeaddesk*
I really wonder how much of my stress is actually worth stuff like this...
~Kyetsu
Windows Messenger
Posted 14 years ago...My netbook has it. So I got an account there. Find me at Kyetsu[at]hotmail.com. That is all.
...I want cookies.
~Kyetsu
...I want cookies.
~Kyetsu
I'm really serious here...
Posted 14 years ago...No, I'm actually not being serious at all.
April Fools! I got you! I totally got you! Just admit that I fooled you!
...Or I'll have to bust out the whoopin' stick.
~Kyetsu
April Fools! I got you! I totally got you! Just admit that I fooled you!
...Or I'll have to bust out the whoopin' stick.
~Kyetsu
You know...
Posted 14 years ago"I created the Sound of Madness
Wrote the book on Pain
Somehow I'm still here to explain..."
...Even with everything I go through on an almost daily basis--The family drama, dealing with people at work, circumstances beyond my control, and other miscellania life wants to throw at me--Somehow, some way, I'm still here to talk about it.
...Or rant about it. Whichever.
~Kyetsu
Also, here's the video I was trying to link to with the quote, but I kept having a link fail:
Wrote the book on Pain
Somehow I'm still here to explain..."
...Even with everything I go through on an almost daily basis--The family drama, dealing with people at work, circumstances beyond my control, and other miscellania life wants to throw at me--Somehow, some way, I'm still here to talk about it.
...Or rant about it. Whichever.
~Kyetsu
Also, here's the video I was trying to link to with the quote, but I kept having a link fail:
**Noname found the F8 key!**
Posted 14 years ago...Which is good, since Felix's fat ass busted it off. =P
I was playing around with my netbook last night, and Felix decided he wanted to jump off the shelf he was on to beg for attention. Unfortunately, he landed right on top of my tiny computer! D= It still works fine (in fact, I'm updating from it right now), but the one key popped off, and I can't seem to get it to snap back on. It looks like it's atached differently than normal keyboard keys. I'm just hoping there's not some vital part that broke, preventing it from reattaching. =P
Also, I realize that all of three people on my watch list will actually get the referance in the title, but I thought it was funny enough to use. ^_^
~Kyetsu
I was playing around with my netbook last night, and Felix decided he wanted to jump off the shelf he was on to beg for attention. Unfortunately, he landed right on top of my tiny computer! D= It still works fine (in fact, I'm updating from it right now), but the one key popped off, and I can't seem to get it to snap back on. It looks like it's atached differently than normal keyboard keys. I'm just hoping there's not some vital part that broke, preventing it from reattaching. =P
Also, I realize that all of three people on my watch list will actually get the referance in the title, but I thought it was funny enough to use. ^_^
~Kyetsu
Sometimes, one thing can turn yourself around...
Posted 14 years agoFor those that haven't heard me rant before, I work with a bunch of people who, in all honesty, couldn't care less if I worked there or died tomorrow. The only time most of them even talk to me is to yell at me for something. And they've decided that no matter how fast I go, even when I'm running circles around everyone else, I'm never "fast enough" for them. Every day at work involves me being lightheaded from the stress, often to the point that I feel like I'm going to pass out. I've informed people at work about this, and they don't give a rat's ass about it. There's about 5 people that are exceptions to this rule, however, and I love the rare days I get to work with those coworkers.
Last night, I worked a late-night shift, 10pm to 3am. As if the sudden odd hours weren't bad enough, it seemed as if that day, the entire universe conspired to hate my very existence. Things that couldn't go wrong somehow found a way to at least not go right. Anything that could go wrong went horribly wrong. Add that to a bunch of stress and depression I had been feeling over the past several weeks, and I was miserable by the time I walked in the door.
At one point during my shift, however, one of my coworkers--who rarely speaks to me unless it's job-related (not yelling at me as the previously-mentioned people do, but never gets in casual conversation with me, either)--starts asking if I'm alright, totally out of the blue. This prompted a discussion where I got to rant about things that were bugging me...Not everything, of course, but the stuff that was really getting to me at the time. Something about the fact that someone was genuinely concerned about how I felt, and the fact that said coworker seemed to be trying to cheer me up throughout the rest of the shift, made me feel quite a bit better. In fact, this was the first time in months that I didn't get that lightheaded feeling at all.
So now, I have 6 exceptions to the rule that started this post.
And now it seems everything's turning around. Most of the things that had gone wrong yesterday (with some exceptions) have cleared themselves up by the time I got up this morning, and I'm actually in a better general mood than I have been in for a while. To top all of that off, I just logged into my Zazzle account, and found a $7.88 royalty! 0_0 Apparently, I managed to refer someone to the site (not my store, but the Zazzle site itself) , who subsequently bought over $50 worth of stuff, so they gave me a referral credit! I almost died of shock from that!
So, it looks like things are starting to change for the better. Let's hope it's an ongoing trend.
~Kyetsu
Last night, I worked a late-night shift, 10pm to 3am. As if the sudden odd hours weren't bad enough, it seemed as if that day, the entire universe conspired to hate my very existence. Things that couldn't go wrong somehow found a way to at least not go right. Anything that could go wrong went horribly wrong. Add that to a bunch of stress and depression I had been feeling over the past several weeks, and I was miserable by the time I walked in the door.
At one point during my shift, however, one of my coworkers--who rarely speaks to me unless it's job-related (not yelling at me as the previously-mentioned people do, but never gets in casual conversation with me, either)--starts asking if I'm alright, totally out of the blue. This prompted a discussion where I got to rant about things that were bugging me...Not everything, of course, but the stuff that was really getting to me at the time. Something about the fact that someone was genuinely concerned about how I felt, and the fact that said coworker seemed to be trying to cheer me up throughout the rest of the shift, made me feel quite a bit better. In fact, this was the first time in months that I didn't get that lightheaded feeling at all.
So now, I have 6 exceptions to the rule that started this post.
And now it seems everything's turning around. Most of the things that had gone wrong yesterday (with some exceptions) have cleared themselves up by the time I got up this morning, and I'm actually in a better general mood than I have been in for a while. To top all of that off, I just logged into my Zazzle account, and found a $7.88 royalty! 0_0 Apparently, I managed to refer someone to the site (not my store, but the Zazzle site itself) , who subsequently bought over $50 worth of stuff, so they gave me a referral credit! I almost died of shock from that!
So, it looks like things are starting to change for the better. Let's hope it's an ongoing trend.
~Kyetsu
Damn, I can have some crazy-ass dreams sometimes...
Posted 14 years agoI'm usually not the kind of person that over-analyzes my dreams, even though it's very rare that I actually remember them when I wake up. Mostly because looking back on them, they're often the result of whatever I was thinking about right before losing consciousness. But every so often, I have one that makes me wonder if it's actually my subconscious trying to tell me something, or if I should look into changing my diet. Like that streak of dreams I was having for a while of people dying on trains. Those were some weird times right there.
And then there was last night.
It was one of those weird ones where you "jump" from place to place. One moment, I'm in my yard at home, the next, I'm at work, and then suddenly, I'm walking down the street. That sort of thing. But what stood out about it is that anytime a particular person stood next to me, it would suddenly get dark. If I was indoors, the power would go out. If I was outdoors, it would suddenly get really cloudy and block out the sun. Or I'd have one of those "jumps" where I'm already standing next to the person, and it's the dead middle of the night, searching for some source of light in the area. And then as soon as they walked away, the light would come back. The power would come back on, the clouds would clear up, or I'd suddenly be somewhere else other than outside in the middle of the night. I didn't make the connection in the dream itself, but sometime after waking up and thinking about it, I realized that the whole "Darkness" thing would only happen when those particular people would be next to me.
It's also possible that I think about these things too much. I'm not ruling that one out just yet.
~Kyetsu
And then there was last night.
It was one of those weird ones where you "jump" from place to place. One moment, I'm in my yard at home, the next, I'm at work, and then suddenly, I'm walking down the street. That sort of thing. But what stood out about it is that anytime a particular person stood next to me, it would suddenly get dark. If I was indoors, the power would go out. If I was outdoors, it would suddenly get really cloudy and block out the sun. Or I'd have one of those "jumps" where I'm already standing next to the person, and it's the dead middle of the night, searching for some source of light in the area. And then as soon as they walked away, the light would come back. The power would come back on, the clouds would clear up, or I'd suddenly be somewhere else other than outside in the middle of the night. I didn't make the connection in the dream itself, but sometime after waking up and thinking about it, I realized that the whole "Darkness" thing would only happen when those particular people would be next to me.
It's also possible that I think about these things too much. I'm not ruling that one out just yet.
~Kyetsu
Damn winds, bustin' trucks and bowling alleys...
Posted 14 years agoSo I got home last night to find that the wind blew off the fiberglass bed cover to my truck. (Pretty sure it's fiberglass, at least.) Unfortunately, I don't have the key to actually lock it down, and one of the locks broke before I got the truck, anyway.=P Now, the last time this happened, I needed help from two other people to get it back on, because that thing's both effin' heavy and effin' awkward. No way I'm getting it back on by myself with a hand and a half. =P So I moved the boxes from the back of the truck to the inside, dragged the cover back to sit on the grass behind my truck to make it less obvious, and called it a night.
My mother came over this morning to give me a ride to work, and I came out of my house to find her standing next to said cover, pointing at it. I told her what happened, and she gives me this "Okay, I was just making sure you knew it was there" line...As if I'm not going to notice the ginormous grey sheet of fiberglass laying in my yard! *facepalm* And then she's telling me how I should have put it back on if it blew off, and when I told her that requires a minimum of two people to accomplish, she told me she'll get my brother to come over and help in a few weeks...When I can prolly get some friends/coworkers to come over and help me reattach it in a matter of days. *facepalm the second*
I'll get it back on, though, and I should prolly invest in one of those bungee cords with hooks to hold it down after it gets reattached, so this doesn't happen a third time...At least until I can do something about the locks. And at least I didn't have it as bad as some folks. (NOOOOO! Not the bowling alley! D= )
Also, A minor, amusing conversation with my mother...As she was driving me to work, she started talking about her recent visit to the Pretzel Factory. It went something like this:
Mother: ...And there were pretzels everywhere! They were in all kinds of shapes, and they had every kind of dipping sauce for them! I can't believe there were so many pretzels there!
Me: Well, you know why there were so many pretzels there?
Mother: No, why?
Me: Because it's the effing Pretzel Factory!
Mother: Oh, well, I just find it hard to believe they had so many pretzels...
Me: *facepalm the third*
~Kyetsu
My mother came over this morning to give me a ride to work, and I came out of my house to find her standing next to said cover, pointing at it. I told her what happened, and she gives me this "Okay, I was just making sure you knew it was there" line...As if I'm not going to notice the ginormous grey sheet of fiberglass laying in my yard! *facepalm* And then she's telling me how I should have put it back on if it blew off, and when I told her that requires a minimum of two people to accomplish, she told me she'll get my brother to come over and help in a few weeks...When I can prolly get some friends/coworkers to come over and help me reattach it in a matter of days. *facepalm the second*
I'll get it back on, though, and I should prolly invest in one of those bungee cords with hooks to hold it down after it gets reattached, so this doesn't happen a third time...At least until I can do something about the locks. And at least I didn't have it as bad as some folks. (NOOOOO! Not the bowling alley! D= )
Also, A minor, amusing conversation with my mother...As she was driving me to work, she started talking about her recent visit to the Pretzel Factory. It went something like this:
Mother: ...And there were pretzels everywhere! They were in all kinds of shapes, and they had every kind of dipping sauce for them! I can't believe there were so many pretzels there!
Me: Well, you know why there were so many pretzels there?
Mother: No, why?
Me: Because it's the effing Pretzel Factory!
Mother: Oh, well, I just find it hard to believe they had so many pretzels...
Me: *facepalm the third*
~Kyetsu
Motivation: I don't has it.
Posted 14 years agoSo I've been trying some doodles here and there, trying to get a feel for how I can draw now that my hand is just about healed. I'm still having some tendon issues, but the drawing seems to be working almost as a type of physical therapy. Things are looking a bit off, but that's prolly a combination of the injury, and the fact that I haven't drawn anything for almost three weeks. Those problems can work themselves out with time.
But there's an underlying issue that predates the injury, as far as art goes...I just can't get myself motivated to draw. I have ideas, lots of ideas. I have entire pages of my Ralynkei comic totally planned out, and I know exactly who's gonna say what, and how. But when I go to draw out those ideas, I can't get the pencil to do what it needs to do. My mind suddenly goes blank. I still have the ideas there, but I can't get my hand to move to get them on paper. I end up staring at a blank piece of paper with a pencil in my hand until I get tired of just sitting there and do something else. And forcing myself to draw just makes the situation worse. I end up with a bunch of crappy artwork and a sense of...well...failure.
I'm sure depression and/or stress has at least some part of it. But I've felt that way before, and I've still been able to draw. In fact, drawing often helped me through those problems. Now, it's like I can't get myself to do anything to get that negative energy out of me. I just don't seem to have the energy for it, period.
And I feel that part of me that says that all that effort won't matter, anyway. In the end, I won't get recognition for what I do. Rarely do people even acknowledge that I did anything to begin with. You can tell me to ignore that feeling all you want, but hard as I try, it'll still be there, reminding me that I'll never be getting anywhere. Stuck in a dead-end job with people that mock me behind my back, and now unable to even do the one thing I've spent a lifetime working on.
I know there's many things I can't change, but even with the things I can, doing something about it ultimately does nothing. And believe me, I have tried. I've tried everything I can possibly think of, and it just brings me back to where I started. Don't get me wrong...I want things to change, I really do. I want it so bad I can feel it, taste it. But I can't seem to get it to happen, try as I might. I'm stuck in an endless loop of trying to improve my life, not getting anywhere, feeling dejected that I can't succeed, and starting over again. Rinse and repeat. And I think that's becoming the major block in my art and creativity...Being caught in this vicious cycle that I can't do anything about. So my subconscious, creative mind has given up, even when my conscious mind wants to try just one more time, in the hopes that this time will be different.
Also, I had a lot more rant in me than I thought I did when I started typing this. Amazing what happens when you just let your mind wander on...
~Kyetsu
But there's an underlying issue that predates the injury, as far as art goes...I just can't get myself motivated to draw. I have ideas, lots of ideas. I have entire pages of my Ralynkei comic totally planned out, and I know exactly who's gonna say what, and how. But when I go to draw out those ideas, I can't get the pencil to do what it needs to do. My mind suddenly goes blank. I still have the ideas there, but I can't get my hand to move to get them on paper. I end up staring at a blank piece of paper with a pencil in my hand until I get tired of just sitting there and do something else. And forcing myself to draw just makes the situation worse. I end up with a bunch of crappy artwork and a sense of...well...failure.
I'm sure depression and/or stress has at least some part of it. But I've felt that way before, and I've still been able to draw. In fact, drawing often helped me through those problems. Now, it's like I can't get myself to do anything to get that negative energy out of me. I just don't seem to have the energy for it, period.
And I feel that part of me that says that all that effort won't matter, anyway. In the end, I won't get recognition for what I do. Rarely do people even acknowledge that I did anything to begin with. You can tell me to ignore that feeling all you want, but hard as I try, it'll still be there, reminding me that I'll never be getting anywhere. Stuck in a dead-end job with people that mock me behind my back, and now unable to even do the one thing I've spent a lifetime working on.
I know there's many things I can't change, but even with the things I can, doing something about it ultimately does nothing. And believe me, I have tried. I've tried everything I can possibly think of, and it just brings me back to where I started. Don't get me wrong...I want things to change, I really do. I want it so bad I can feel it, taste it. But I can't seem to get it to happen, try as I might. I'm stuck in an endless loop of trying to improve my life, not getting anywhere, feeling dejected that I can't succeed, and starting over again. Rinse and repeat. And I think that's becoming the major block in my art and creativity...Being caught in this vicious cycle that I can't do anything about. So my subconscious, creative mind has given up, even when my conscious mind wants to try just one more time, in the hopes that this time will be different.
Also, I had a lot more rant in me than I thought I did when I started typing this. Amazing what happens when you just let your mind wander on...
~Kyetsu
