Correction to my schedule this week:

I need to focus on product and a few other RL things this week: No streams for the rest of this week.
See you all on Monday!

So this is Christmas, and what have I have done?

Really really hate this song. And for some reason this Christmas is very very bleak and dark. I don't like it. But since Christmas Eve is here, we're at the annual reset day where all my FA stats get reset.

And in retrospective, this wasn't an awesome year:

* I had a mental snap sometime around April that really prevented me to do anything, whether it be creative or not. It took me a long time to get out of that snit. In fact, in many ways I haven't even gotten out of it at all.
* Laid off at the end of the year is not super awesome even with good severance.

But ...

I have created my own company and all the paperwork is filed. It's time to take my creativity seriously. I'm planning to keep my scope simple and easy, but ... we'll see what happens. I just have a few other little things to work on, even though ... honestly, Paypal and Square are being real jerks as far as merchant accounting. I may have to find alternatives. But the doors of Kobold Forge Studio open on January 1, 2024. I'll have my etsy and website up by then. Or close to then.

Expect lots of Sci-Fi stuff, kobolds, and D&D stuff.

I've been playing a lot of D&D during my downtime or my undertime. For the better. Tikke is a better fit for me.

Going into 2024, looking for new work, starting some new endevours, and trying some new things ... I'll be honest, I'm terrified, but I don't have much choice. I even have some hard decisions and choices to make and fairly soon that I don't like.

But let's save that for January 2024.

Anyway, time for the 2023 stats:

2022: 84552PV 510C 1888F 106W 46SUB
2023: 90044PV 5818S 69W 398C 1317F 589J 35SUB

I don't think that I'm gonna do the analysis this year. It's just down. Numerically all down. But that's what I get for reducing output.
But it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate every bit of it. Every page view, every Comments, each favorite, all the watchers. It's all great.

But, it's also up. I thank you, all 69 new watchers and all the watchers that have been viewing me for some time. Including putting up with me trying out and doing some new, different things.

I thank you all that made comments about my stuff and even engaged in RP with me in regards to some of the creative works. I'm glad that I have made things that people feel they can chat about. :)

Thank you all for the favorites that you have given my stuffs.

Thank you for watching me for those that do. I know that my switching of content may be disheartening and some of my new things may not be what you're looking for (and, I also embarassingly haven't worked on How Not To Be Seen for a _year_, what a slacker).

Well, with all of this coming along, I'm not giving up drawing and I intend to increase it this year. I got some time.
I invite you all, one way or another, to come along for the ride in 2024.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

So, I have been let go from my position of 9 years, ending a 15 year employment run. I am being given a good severance package and there is some options. Right now, I plan to take some time to figure out things and hopefully take a breath before getting back into the weeds.

Still, scary as hell. And there might be some changes coming. Well, might is a bit too optimistic. There will.
I just hope they're for the better.

Full speed.

My Future Going Forward And Why Others Might Care:

TL;DR: I am starting Livestreaming again on October 1 with a lot of support and help. However, there are now new rules of engagement.

Short and sweet, repeated: I had something go snap in my brain and I’ve slowly been making a recovery. Doing groups has been hard but getting better. My ability to create and make things has been extremely curtailed. My recovery has been slow but steady.

To make things worse, it is likely that I will be unemployed starting in November. Not a certainty and the layoffs are essentially random. If I am targeted, I’m taking a bit of downtime before looking for new professional work again but while I’m down, I’m gonna press hard on RPG creation and arts. And, in many ways, being unemployed and on severance is not the worst thing in the world for one big reason: I have not really had a career break of any significant length in ... 15 years. I need a rest. With the time, however, I'm going to make products that I’ve wanted to for a long time. Do more VR. I’m still not solid on the idea that VRC is the solution as it has a tons of design flaw level problems that cause me grief, but the technology is not going away. I may accept some commissions but with heavy restrictions on the what, where, and how. And making things that I hope people will like. I don’t think I can make a living off of this, but this is probably the last time in my life that I’ll actually have an opportunity to try.

Now the part that most of you may care about.

I am ready to do public streaming again. To get this far, this required work on myself and with the efforts of therapy. I am pleased to announce that I will be starting again on October 1. However, that said, it comes with some caveats and rules. I have patreons and they’ll get priorty (or exclusive) seats at times. No offense to anyone but … I gotta do what I gotta do. These are not finalized, but, the rules I am going to have are are looking like this:

1. This time is for the artists of the stream to shine and to demonstrate their skills. Those that are broadcasting, via Picarto, Piczel, or Tikke.art have priority. The stream is for them.
2. Be respectful to each other.
3. No RL politics. Saying the Rshast suck is fine.
4. The theme of the streams are whatever the artists are streaming at that moment – try to stay on topic.
5. No means no. If an artist or moderator asks for a behavior to stop, stop doing it.
6. No RP or narration please unless it is explicitly stated that the stream that night is themed around this activity. This is very distracting to the artists who are trying to focus. This applies to both text and voice chat, at least in channels that are not meant for such. Doing them in channels dedicated to this is okay.
7. A voice chat is not a guarantee for every stream. Artists also reserve the right to cap the number of voice attendees per session or to only include Patreons as needed.
8. Priority for features will be granted to streaming artists first, then Patreons, then everyone else.
9. The artists can leave the voice chat at any time should they require focus and concentration. Please don’t take it personally, we’re just trying our best to get things done.
10. The streaming artists and the moderators have final say as far as the implementation of these rules and have final say. Argument will change a temporary ban into a permanent one – quickly!
11. We’re a supportive group but we’re also not therapy. Please leave your baggage at the door. We understand that not every day is a great day but please try to leave the environment a positive one and keep venting to a minimum.
Those with access to the voice chat will have to agree to these rules before joining.
Although we’re still in the business to have fun and to enjoy ourselves, make no mistake that the streams are slowly going to become more and more geared towards the idea of generating revenue and to give the artists a streaming platform to shine. This means anything from patreon awards to very silly things can be expected.

Make no mistake, I'm still very nervous about this and not sure if this is the right thing to do. But apparently the streams have been missed and I'll give it a try.

TL/DR; I suck and may continue to suck under increased pressure.

So, a few people have come out and said a few things to me, inquiring about the following:
1. You don’t seem to be making as much art as you used to.
2. You don’t seem to be streaming as much as as you used to.
3. You don’t seem to be around as much anymore.

All of these are absolutely true.

I’m not really all that well and it is just now that I’m able to lift my head out of a dark cloud and see that there is a ton more dark clouds on the horizon coming my way. This has not been a great year for me, job wise, personal wise, or mentally. It started earlier this year and I had something go snap in my brain and I’ve never been the same since. Like, literally -- I heard something go pop in my head. Since that moment, my focus has been shot, my concentration is dead, and it’s hard to really engage in doing – well, anything. Yes, it has been checked by a doctor but they’re really not investing a lot in me in helping isolate this. The effects have been noticeable though: Work noticed that I am merely producing ‘acceptable’ levesl of work which for me was unheard of and caused a small intervention of work with my managers. Giving them my feedback, I was switched to a new role -- to something a little more practical. It’s difficult work but it’s actually somewhat more rewarding. And it will be like this until the layoffs in a month or so – I may or may not be part of that, no one knows, but I’ve had this particular sword of Damocles over my head – and it’s been there for quite some time -- I’d really prefer it if it would either just outright kill me or just go away.

Streaming used to be a joy and something I loved and enjoyed doing – but in the last few months, it’s been distracting and just a burden getting in the way of me producing, well, anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love you all and you’re all awesome – but you’re also distracting with various things that make you all special but regretfully get in the way of me completing the stuff that I want to do. I do have a few patrons that I will do very small group Discord streaming for, when we’re extremely laser focused on a task or a situation – or individual streaming when I need direct feedback on something we’re focused on .. but that’s about all. Outside of that (and this is the majority of the time), it’s just me, myself, and I – and my drawing tablet now. I may return to more public streaming, and perhaps soon, but we’re going to need some strong ground rules if I open things up fully again. If it comes to life and I return; try not to take it personally if I ask people to stop a behavior: I just want to get shit done and I have limited energy now. To be clear: the primary purpose of my streaming is to try to get things done, socialization is absolutely secondary and should be considered a bonus activity.

I am not quite as available anymore because when I am talking with everyone, I’m usually stuck in my office. I live in a small room on the ground floor of my house sometimes 16-18 hours a day … or had been for quite a while and things finally … well, I want to be in that room as little as possible now. So, with the help of my loving household that attempts to keep me together in one piece (and is largely successful) – I manage to get escape time. So, I am not around. I am somewhere – anywhere else – because the studio in which I create, make, and generate all the things is no longer, in many ways, a studio – it’s a prison cell. And not a very fun one.

Also, I am becoming more and more afraid of sharing things that are meaningful to me. It's why I haven't shared in a while: I've been drawing things for ME that I'm almost horrified to share -- although I should. I would be addressing this in therapy except my therapist of 6 years died unexpected and I'm just now re-establishing baseline with a new guy. He's good, but he's not ready for the paraphernalia wagon that is my mind yet.

With that said, I’m trying to be better and trying to fix things. Some of the above are ways to fix it.

-- Tikke Lightfoot



And for all of you, keep being awesome. I still have some duct tape left to keep me going.

I tend not to try to publish anything here, unless I'm really stuck on something, until it's very very much done.

However, I recently came across someone who told me that submitting sketches and drafts is just as important as completed work?

Thoughts? Does publishing drafts and sketches dilute my quality any or actually make my portfolio better?
Do people want to see sketches?

So, some of you out there know that I've had what I called the snap sometime between March 5 and March 17th.

Something went on in my head and I heard something go snap.

Art became hard to do.
Work became far less interesting and desirable to engage in.
I really didn't want to engage in any activity, one way or another.

Yes, I've been to the doctor about this. Yes, they're concerned. Yes, I am healing and the fact that I was able to finish some artwork this week is a good sign that I am actually healing.
I enjoyed making that picture and including my good friends  eractor1001 and  drake-darkscale in it. I like making inclusive and activity based images with friends. I even made some new friends with that image and it's awesome to collaborate with some new people. That was good feels.

However, I had a good long walk with a good friend of mine recently who gave me a verbal ass kicking. The result of that conversation is:

I have a universe to make and to get out of my head. However, I am just one person. One person with a herculean task on top of my daily other duties, like work and household things.
I actually need to hire people to help me out and I have set it up where I have this as a line item in my monthly budget now.

I just need help. :)

Sometimes people ask me for art advice or ask me how I do things. Or I see someone who is having a hard time with an element of art.

So, I've made a YouTube channel. Art or Stib.
Kobold themed.

https://www.youtube.com/@artorstib255

It wasn't the con, it was me.

It wasn't the best time to go to a con but cons don't shift dates for an individuals needs. And I had art to sell. Two of my three pieces went. Apparently people don't like bugs. :P

The day before the con, I had to put Hunter, my dear trusted leopard gecko who has been through hell and back with me riding on my shoulders, down due to kidney cancer. There was no recourse. There was no saving that. And worse, seeing a leopard gecko being euthanized is a horrific experience. She did not go quietly or easily despite all attempts to do so. She died in my hands. She was very important to me and she will be greatly missed.

Taku did his best to try to get me to move forward and I ended up with a surprise -- more on that later.

So, it wasn't really much of a con -- more of a extended period of shopping therapy for me. I also got to talk to a lot of vendors and got a lot of ideas for 2023 when I will be making some bold steps towards being a vendor myself. This is the bold steps that having Hunter on my shoulder for would have been apropos, but ... I'll find those steps one way or another. And there are 6 other leopard geckos that we have that may have that shoulder spot. Nothing will ever replace her, but there is a seat.

The biggest problem is that the energy of the con when coming across my emotional needs of loss were at a conflict. They weren't compatible. Thursday night and Friday I didn't want to be there. I seriously considered benedrylling me through the con and just sleeping the entire time.

Taku thankfully helped me get out of that funk and a handful of people who actually acknowledge my existence.

I thank them for doing such, it was great to talk to those I shook hands with and chatted with. It was great reconnecting.
For the rest, meh. And now I have work to deal with.

But I'm back at my drawing tablet and board ... and I'm happy with that much at least.

In communicating with a friend today I realized that at my apex of making a name for myself, my jerk brain is getting louder and louder with its assaults on my resolve to be a creator. I'm sure other artists can say they felt this:

What is the point of creating when I'm in a Fandom that does this creating thing in the realms of which I create far far better than I can? What others do -- what they do is so good, so rich, so robust where I seem to flail and struggle just to be mediocre?

Thanks jerk brain. #art #furry #furryaft

So This Is Christmas, and what have you done? ...

I still hate this song. But oddly, I haven't heard it anywhere this year. Perhaps it's gone for once and for all.

But we're here to answer that important question: What have I done this year? Answer so far, it doesn't seem like much.

So let's check the numbers. It's that time for the grand FA reset when my scoreboard gets all zeroed.

PREVIOUS (2021): 76094PV 369C 2646F 162W 49SUB

Watchers: 106/162 = 65% of 2021
Favorites: 1888/2646 = 71% of 2021
Comments: 510/369 = 138% of 2021
PageViews: +8459, compared to 2021 (76094) = 99.8% of 2021.

There were 46 Submissions this year.

Normalization:

106/46 = 2.30 watchers per submission, 2021 was 3.31.
1888/46 = 41.04 favorites per submission. 2021 was 53.41
510/46 = 11.08 comments per submission. 2021 was 7.53

Conclusion: Well, down in eyeballs and getting new viewership, but it seems like the stuff I made generated a lot of talk. I'm okay with this. You're all still awesome. I look forward to 2023 with all of you!

Goals:

You'll just have to see. I have some big things in mind provided that my work gives me the time and the sanity to execute.

See you next year.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

I am on Mastodon now:

SFW/General: @tikke@hyss.us
NSFW/Pr0n: @kyroraz@rubberdr.one

These two instances are owned by me and so ... they're things!

I think I may have found a business or presentation factor that's compatible with business based on the sort of thing that I do.

First of all, anyone who has thrown a few coin my way over the years, I thank you. It helps me think of my work as stuff that people like from time to time.

But, let's be honest: I'm probably not going to draw commissions for people in the way they would like. The best way to get my pen to draw someone that is not part of my normal fleet is to have it in my universe (which I really need to do a better job broadcasting to people; it's hard to get into something that has very little information published) and being placed within something in it. But even that has it's limits: I honestly burned out on Nucleus masks ... and even more honestly, it was because a) I was running into characters I found more difficult to draw than I was comfortable doing (and got derailed) and b) the rates that people were offering in this PWYW if I draw it were so low that I just couldn't push over the threshold. Sorry.

People also ask me occasionally how others get into my works. Simple, they show up for my livestream and I'm really rocking the tablet that day. Sometimes I need a victim and they find what I'm making to be not squeemish.

So, that answers those questions, but back to the whole thing about Patreon and/or Ko-Fi. First:

I will never, with present intentions, make FA or any other site that I present on, a gateway to a paywall to my completed works of some sort. I may reserve high rez or other bonus materials for one of these paywalled sites, but you'll at least see a completed work from me on FA or elsewhere.

My thought process is this:

FA, and other sites will show at least one (or two or such) drafts, sketches, or concepts for a larger work that I want to do. When I complete it, it will get posted on FA as well. However, the initial sketch will have a link to my ko-fi or patreon (or whatever site best fits this mold) that will take you to a place where I will in-line in a post or commentary my incremental work on things and my snapshots of my progress towards completion. Once I complete, I may hold off publishing for a few days or a week the final one, but it will go to FA. I haven't found a place that supports this sort of model, but I think that I can make it work one way or another.

So, in the end, what will be paywalled?

* Incremental works after an initial sketch and the buildup towards a completed piece of work.
* Test sketches and concept sketches for things that I have rattling in my brain.
* Communities where people can comment about how things are developing and as my art is in flight. I may take these comments and information in consideration as I work.
* Finished works may be delayed by a few days to a week for release to GA, but will be available early on these sites.
* A Discord community where I will dump whatever I draw out there. If you want to drink from the firehose, that's where you can get your fill.

What won't be:

* Finished products, at least a "low quality" one (But will be a reasonable resolution, not potato resolution).
* Initial interest sketches. They won't be a cropped piece of crap, but a complete concise concept sketched out that will have a link saying "Developing this HERE".


And that's it.
Thank you for your support thus far. You've all been a part of all of this fun.

So, here’s the hard part:

I’m a terrible business person. I hate auctions of any kind. I’ve unwatched people because of it -- I have a strange sense that FA should be more of a gallery rather than a full blown advertisement platform and cringe at every time I see someone post a gallery image that’s just an ad. I even cringe when *I* post a gallery image that advertises my livestream -- but somehow that’s the only way I can get eyeballs or new eyeballs in on my process. There has to be a better way somehow but I have no clue on what it would be.

But I say all of this coming from the vantage point that I have a loving household with Takumori and a cat, six leopard geckos, a kickass job (that drives me crazy at times and is a ball of stress from time to time) … I don’t need to depend on artwork or story work to live -- fiscally, that is. Emotionally, that’s another story … However, that being said, being paid for some of your stuff is validating and affirming and it feels good that someone thinks of your work well enough to contribute. I had one person ask if I planned to do that -- I touched on this earlier and started to set things up before the 3 month overload occurred.

That and I don’t want to do my kick ass job forever.

So, what’s my position on this stuff? I never want to hide my work behind a paywall on a permanent basis. That defeats the purpose of why I make stuff. I don’t like pay for de-obfuscation either. But, it would be kinda nice to offer a way to make things work …

I thought about a Discord Stream of Consciousness that allows people to see my stuff as it comes out on paper, uncensored, unadulterated, a few days before I find a more public setting for it. That might be an interesting start… I do have a discord Server right now, but it’s not equiped for this manner of engagement. I could even offer a RP Dojo for those that want to know more or play around in my universe.

I dunno. My brain hurts and marketing makes it hurt more. What can I offer without permanent locking up of my materials? I want my stuff to be seen _more_, not less.

So, turns out I draw a lot of shit.

I draw when I’m stressed. I draw when I’m happy. I draw when I’m depressed. I draw when I’m horny. I draw when I wanna curl up in the corner and hiss at the world, clawing at it if it gets too close.

What I am going to say is going to make people, especially those that have been actively caring for my artistic development and skill improvements, slap themselves on the forehead. For those people all I can say is that perhaps it is now that I finally get it or understand it. For the last ten years or so, however, I only shared what I considered to be the best of my best. I would wait months before releasing stuff to FA, Twitter, or my Discord group.

This is an error.

I think that going forward, I’m going to be releasing things all the time and make a stream of content no matter what the quality. Doing otherwise introduces way too much of a creative drought that I think hinders things more than intended. My job in being creative is to get ideas out as fast as possible, to get my story across, to bring an idea to the table. Me being picky and bringing a level of perfection to it only slows this down.

I’m not saying I’m gonna get sloppy. My quality may go down on some things, but I do plan to do polished works. I’m just planning to release MORE of all the things. Did you know right now in CSP I have about 60 tabs of stuff? Half of that is almost literal garbage. 20 of the remainder is good enough to communicate an idea -- but it never gets to see the light of day. But it probably should. The rest of it eventually gets released as sketches but out of that 60, 1 image becomes something fully fleshed out.

So, expect more things. I just can’t say they’re gonna be the best things in the world. But it will have ideas that I want to share with all of you. Maybe someone will find them of value.

More to come!

I’ve written this thing a half dozen times but deleted all the previous entries. I deemed them too stupid to live. So if this one does, hooray! I’ve also decided to break this up into a few posts to make it manageable and confirms to TL;DR.

I’ve been withdrawn for about 3 months now. I’ve had to reorganize myself. I’ve been refactoring myself. I’m not sure what I am going to do but I am sure about what I am going to be attempting. I’m not expecting this to fix all the problems but I think that it’s a step in the correct direction.

First, I am NOT giving up Kyro. Kyro is a part of me. He represented my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s pretty darn well. We went through some tough times and he is forever loved.

That being said, I’m starting to enter into my 50’s and I think that a new face going forward needs to take the helm -- at least for a little bit. I feel that Tikke, my kobold urd, being a character who was generated to be older and closer to how I want to feel by default -- should take the helm.

At least for a little bit.

This has been tried before with my orca Forge and a few others over time so … the historical track on this isn’t great, but I feel there is value in the attempt.

Why am I doing this? Because it’s important to me. I’m doing it for me. I’m doing it because it feels I need to grow and my present shell is getting a bit small.

I don’t know if this is the right answer. But I will never know unless I try.

So, I haven't really been doing much artistically or in writing lately. Even slower than before!

Apologies for not really making more things, just overloaded with work, taking classes, learning Blender and Unity, and just trying to be the best person that I can.
And now, medically, I'm expected to actually have some fun and just not focus on development or learning things.

So I've been trying. VRC has been fun. It's at the cost of not accomplishing getting any artwork work ... but after just hanging out with people on VRC and not thinking about programming, coding, system work ... my head doesn't hurt as much.

I like it when my head doesn't hurt.

I'll be back as soon as I feel a bit better. I'm also very tired. I really ... should sleep.

So, thanks to  WatchTheTruth -- I had an idea come to my brain as far as something I could make and expand on that's a bit outside of my normal focus:

Scenario:

It's sort of an old idea but it may lead to some interesting introspection and commentary. It's the idea that the tech for these prison outfits and system are acquired by another species, just happens to collect the data. The society is advanced, perhaps just on the edge of FTL itself, but is deeply controlled by AI to do most of the work that is needed on the world. However, there are still organics that still do things on the world, but machines have taken the heavy roles with the notion that it's all about a) making sure that people are cared for b) no harm comes to them and c) they will serve and continue to evaluate as time goes on. So, eventually, they come to conclude that organics are just not able to successfully care for themselves, they tend to be destructive, and with that they decide to use this technology to encase and process the population of the entire planet and terraform it so they have holding homes that they can live in. They will be given frequent walks inside of the potentially large / planetsized Arcology and exercise on a leash, but that's about all. One perspective that I was thinking of taking this is a visiting ship that the AI is delighted to see and is friendly ... until their own evaluation is conducted on the crew. Later, said acquired ship could be sent out to do more work, or, first ... sends out a distress signal to see if anyone else will come along.

Question: So, headgear. Any thoughts what they could have/wear. It would be something that would go along with like my prison suits I drew in the picture of Dracus and Kyro. But it needs some good things above the neck, either extending the orange new skin to it ... or something else. Any thoughts?

So, I've been pondering if I should put my eggs into this sort of pay thing and become a bit more formal ... or at least facilitating a community a bit.

So, I ran into this: https://medium.com/@kofi_blog/patre.....e-e2ce81a4334e

Based on this, does anyone know of any reason why I should go with Patreon vs. Kofi? This seems clear cut, but, we may be only seeing on side of the story.

Thoughts?

So, let's go over a few things.

1. I am terrible at commissions. I always said that if I did them, they'd involve inclusion of people in my settings and universe. At least I have a vast and very dynamic universe to do said things in.

2. When I do commissions, I usually either take on too much and burn out or my life distracts me. I have a job that can eat anywhere from 7 to 16 hours in a day. It can bleed into weekends. I'm starting to really feel like I'm getting too old for the gig I presently have, not to mention attaching a art job on top of it. I really apologize for those that put their hat into the ring for a nucleus mask -- I honestly really wanted to get back to that but when I tried, my brain just noped the hell out of it. I have no idea what's wrong with my brain, I think I need to take it in for servicing or something. It was FUN to include people into something that my universe generated -- but eventually that fuel apparently ran out. Sorry.

3. People in my life, especially those not deeply in my life and without emotional investment in me have said that my art as of lately has become actually really good when I get to do the more paint-y style pieces. Those pieces take a lot of time to do but they are fun. People say there should be more of these around. I made a number of canvas pictures for FC 2022 but ... yeah, that's not happening. Pity. I was ready and raring to go, even EARLY to the show.

Now, let's get into the nitty gritty:

I've had more than a few people asking me why I don't do a Patreon or something similar. A few points on that:

1. I hate people that show preview pictures and then say to see the rest, go to Patreon. I've actually stopped watching artists that do this -- especially if they have no intent to show the rest of the imagine on a public gallery after a cool down time.
2. I will burn out if I have to do monthly deliverables and it will destroy me. Some months I don't have time to do a single portrait or image, others I can crank out 3 or 4 of them, sometimes even an entire comic page. I cannot pledge to do an artistic cadence.

However, some have suggested just setting it up as a general support ... a tiip jar, if you will.
Another idea was to have a tip jar that allowed people to vote on the direction of what I'm working on a bit, allowing some steerage. Like "I like your art, but I'd like to tip my contribution towards doing more robots. Or latex. Or ...." and I'd do my damnest to follow that.
Another idea was to create a victim pool. Where people pledging into that level would be in a pool of victims that I could pull from if I needed a sidekick or a background character in peril. The criticism I've gotten from a few sources is that would be a lottery or a gambling situation where most people would get nothing. I sort of don't like the idea or sound of that.

I dunno. Maybe Patreon isn't for me. But I have to admit that when I do get tipped, it makes me feel a little bit better about what I do. I appreciate kudos too, not everything is about money. :)

But at least three people have asked why I don't just have a general encouragement Patreon. I just don't know how to really do it and do it fairly.


I really stink at this and I need either some ideas or to think a bit more.

So this is Christmas, and what have you done ...?

I continue to hate this song. I still hate this song. It stills make me feel like an utter loser and slacker because it really feels like that I have done absolutely nothing!

But we know that isn’t quite true. And on December 24 – every year – I go through my stats and figure out how well I have done by the numbers. And then make some vague promises on things for the following year.

So, here we go. 2021 in a nutshell:

PREVIOUS (2020): 67619PV 429C 1935F 119W 41SUB
NEW (2021): 76094PV 369C 2646F 162W 49SUB
Watchers: 162/119 = 136% of 2020.
Favorites: 2646/1935 = 136% of 2020.
Comments: 369/429 = 86% of 2020.
Page View: +8475 … compared to 2020 … +7029 … 120% over 2020

But now to NORMALIZE.

162/49 = 3.31 watchers per submission. 2020: 2.90, so up by .41 watchers per submission.
2617/49 = 53.41 favorites per submission. 2020: 47.19, so up by 6.22 favorites per submission.
369/49 = 7.53 comments per submission. 2020: 10.46, so down by 2.93 comments per submission.
2020: 7029/49 = 143.44 2021: 8475/49 = 172.96, so up by 29.52 page views per submission.

Of course, some of this is unfair because I have been getting some of my older and archaic stuff watched, favorited, or commented on as my gallery continues to build. But, still, interesting.

Conclusion: My stuff is being watched by wonderful people like you and I welcome all the new people who are looking at my stuff. I’m humbled, honored, and will continue to draw stuff and am glad that you like what I have made so far. I will do my best in the future to make some things that generate more comments and ideas worth discussing. 😊 You’re all fabulous.

GOALS:

So, now with everything reset in FA, it’s time to come up with the things I need to do between now and next Christmas Eve.

So, goals for the year coming up:

• Stop being a slacker.

• Complete the “How Not To Be Seen” comic by around April. April 1 perhaps. I’m nearly done as it is now.

• Sell art at FC 2022 and do some interesting art things. I plan to sell up to 4 pieces at FC 2022 so if you’re going to be there check out my canvas prints that I have on sale in the Art Show.

• Recover from the “I Suck At Doing Commissions” and do them smarter. Some of you might remember that I did some brief commissions with Nucleus Masks and I got swamped with them. I tackled them as best as I could but I did burn out. I burned out hard. I really do/did mean to continue and make more, but … things got insane busy and I never recovered from Nucleus Mask burnout. It’s only now that I’ve been able to do anything similar (the Deer Masks) and … either way, I’ll say I’m sorry now that this happened, but not sure if I should commit to completing them now or not. I do think that it is smart that I didn’t take money in advance. I think that’s a policy I’ll carry going forward.

• Either way, if I do commissions, if I am to do them at all, they’ll take a page or will be placed in my universe. My universe is very adaptive and flexy and I can almost fit anything/everything/everyone into it. But I won’t go outside of that.

• And speaking of that, I have a problem: People don’t know what my universe is. People have no idea what my creatures, my setting, my planets, everything are. And the thing is that I keep on promising I’ll sit down at a word processor and write it out – except I don’t think that’s the correct thing to do. I don’t think it’s the best way to do it. Something tells me doing quick videos might better but I don’t know. I don’t know how to even approach publication or communicate mass ideas to the masses. I suck at marketing.

• I’m going to refactor my livestreaming. It’s time for a refresh either way.

• Be true to myself. Stop pretending I’m not who I am for the comfort of others. This is really really hard.

• Be less annoying.

• Try being an artist.

• Don’t go crazy.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m sitting here watching A Christmas Story, like I did last year when I did this, and just trying to come up with ideas on how to do all of this. Maybe it’s time that I start asking for help. Maybe it’s time to hire people. Or something.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

Now, I might have to go and draw more deer -- or rather, people being turned into deer with silly rubber deer masks and antlers secured by glue. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

 Kyroraz.

Filed in the "In Case People Actually Watch The Stuff I do File"...

I have less than three weeks until my year shutsdown effectively. I'll still be online, still doing things and making things, but I'll be out of the studio and won't have the advantages of my wonderful tablets and office to be making things during the late of night ... spending time with family on the east coast.

* I was sort of hoping to wrap up the first story arc of "How Not To Be Seen" before the end, but that's not likely. Well, gives people something to look forward to in 2022 I suppose. I'd have a shot at getting it done if it wasn't for ...
* I have a spot in the FC 2022 art gallery sale, I just need to pick some of the stuff I've done in the last 2 years that might look good in poster form or make something. I know I at least have two or three things that I can make into posters. It's just tricky to choose what a) I think is good and b) what I think other people think is good and c) what they might actually pay actual cash for. Maybe, compared to 2020, I might make a _profit_ this time.
* I'm having way too much fun torturing my character Boot and making him fall under the Crimson envelope of control. It's fun to Serve Crimson! I almost think that I, as the author/artist, I'm now in their control now by proxy.
* I now live in a neighborhood where Christmas lighting is _serious business_. And given that we put on a good light show for Halloween, eyes are turning to us to really put on something special. I guess I wanted to learn how to do controls with individually addressable LEDs and music and what not. I just hope that people enjoy the Pluffnub Christmas Album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzHxY6yif6E

Someday, I'm gonna figure out how to make this all into a game or something and actually publish or something. I can make stuff, just not sure how to make it correctly or digestible for the entities to be. Maybe in 2022 I will learn how to ask for help.

In case I don't get to address everyone easily over the marathon coming up before I fly, Merry Christmas/Happy New Year. It's a sad one because I realize that I don't have many more with my east coast family before ... well, yeah, we all get old. I'm old too. The point is to: Enjoy what you have here and now while you can and live to the best of your abilities.

Be well. 2022 is on the horizon.
And for all you drones, Crimson or not, get back to work.

So, I at at a loss... maybe I am torturing my audience by what's going on with the bus... but it's "fun" things!

So, should I just take our peoples to their destination or ... should I have at least one more page of brainwashing and restraint (and feeding!) fun as page 9?