Ahhh--- I accidentally started turning these into pairs, but I still intend to only do/finish one character a day-- so I may be posting these every other day? XD Or at least for so long as I have character pairings to do? I wasn't planning to do it this way, but then the dynamic of interaction kind of blew up out of nowhere, because it ramped up my brain for better posing. So I'm just rolling with that now. XD

Also I keep weird hours, so the first entry probably wasn't popping up until tomorrow anyways, but that's my bad. I'd have had to start a day early and I didn't really. It will technically be completed in "my day" though, so I'm counting it. XD

I'm already happy with how these are looking though, so I hope you will too.


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Support me on Gumroad, https://terithsart.gumroad.com/

So, I've been holding off on saying anything, completely arbitrarily because I keep worrying something is gonna blow up and prevent me from doing an Inktober challenge at all, much less the thing I wanted to announce and talk about. But... screw it, if I have to cancel I have to cancel, so lets at least get ideas out there. See if I can get at least two or three more opinions from people who read and respond to journals that aren't already in my discord :p

This is an idea I've proposed before, but I think it was more on the terms of "as themed commissions" or something? And nobody seemed interested at the time? They still might not be... XD But I am, so bweh. So my thinking was, instead of mulling over one of these prompt lists for days on end, trying to pull random ideas out of my ass... I'd grab something else with far more than 30 options and play with that some instead? And the notion I was most leaning towards was, in short, "Smite Cosplay", lol. In which I grab the original/default outfit designs of the various gods and goddesses (and arbitrarily included non-gods, because fuck consistency when you can cave to popular request for money), then throw characters I like into those outfits/roles. So basically a single character image per day of someone looking kinda awesome? :p

And it'll let/make me actually practice clothes and stuff? XD I know, how awful. XD XD

But yeah, I just wanted to say what I was planning and try to get some feedback on it.
I might open up to where people could commission or request to be a particular god/dess? If there's anyone that interested? But otherwise I'm just gonna pick whoever floats my boat.


((And to clarify, Default cards/appearances only. I might choose a recolor or one of the "teir 2" skins that are basically just the defaults but with more armor, lols... but otherwise no "Skins", so don't ask.))

So this submission was the wrong fucking size--
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48195694/

Umm... XD New to clipstudio animation, lols, didn't notice. It's fixed now.
Nothing was "wrong"? It just wasn't as *Big* as it was supposed to be. So the file has been updated.
Just mentioning for people who save stuff and... might notice this journal? So you can update. XD
Probably late for most people that have already seen it to ever notice, but... yeeeeaaahhh...


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Support me on Gumroad, https://terithsart.gumroad.com/

Heeey, happy Vore Day or whatever, lols! XD
What I started doing for the silly holiday is gonna be late, like I said-- too ambitious, lols, probably won't see the light of day till the end of the month or something, but we're actively working on it. Should be pretty neat~ Posted a smaller something to tide over for the day though, hope you liked it.


Now ignore all that shit I just said because Humbug's big vore animation they've been working on for over two fucking years has been released! Go look at it--!! XD
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48470908/
https://humbuganimations.gumroad.com/l/xzfbc

Yes, yes, you have to pay to see it nooooow.... else I guess waiting like a year, if you really wanna miss out like that for so loooong-- but just trust me, it's worth it. This thing is fucking amazing. It was well worth the wait. This was a labor of love from start to finish and it really shows. They've worked so hard on this, please give them all your support, they deserve it!

Given I'm already seeing a journal about "vore month", lols... XD
I finally started something for 8/8 about a week ago, but like... there's no way that's finished in time for the date-- I may have to throw something together on the smaller scale as a filler, I was not prepared. XD I'd have to go all out for eight days now, it's not happening-- I got other shit to doooo XD

.....watch me finish in time now, lols.

Lets see, what else, second month of Gumroad and nothing has exploded yet. Looking good. Little low on the numbers though, so might just dedicate more streams to the overambitious 8/8 project... :p Nothing else major to report right now? So, catch you in the next one.



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Support me on Gumroad, https://terithsart.gumroad.com/

As this seems to be the flow I'm setting into post launch now, just so people are aware of what I'm doing if you wanna drop in. My art streaming schedule on Picarto (https://picarto.tv/LapSeph) for the time being is going to be a pretty consistent Tuesday and Thursday evening starting around 9pm est. The streams have been going about 3-4 hours average?

Tuesday is "Project Day" for whatever has been voted on at my Gumroad Discord. Unless something like tonight comes up and I swap them around-- but... this should be the norm.
Thursday is "Whatever I feel like Day" for now. If I start getting more followers, this will probably transition into a second Project Day. Until then, it's open.

I'll update my plans further as things develop.
Thanks for stopping by!


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Support me on Gumroad, https://terithsart.gumroad.com/

Woooow.... watching a new piece blow up into one of the top five most favorited images in your gallery in just 3-4 days.... That's gotta be some kinda new record. I'm happy to see it-- makes me feel slightly more popular all of a sudden. XD But... Imma still roll around that the one posted the same day that I personally liked more didn't see the same love. Siiiigh... Artist Life.

ANYWAYS, Gumroad progress is going steady, I suppose? I'm at least moving into a rhythm with it so far. Getting WIPs properly uploaded as I go along. Ran our first poll, started our first project based on that poll-- maybe you saw part of it in the stream last night? It's coming along well! I'm looking forward to continuing it-- but I've only got so many project work hours paid for right now, so I'm stretching it out as best I can. I don't wanna work a single day of the month and then be like "Okay, that's it! See you next month, lol!" XD

I'm hoping it'll see some more activity over time. I may have launched at a bad time, right on the heels of AGDQ and on the weekend of Anthrocon, lols... XD But-- IT'S FINE. I'm just happy having anyone support me like this. I'll keep advertising the store link in the meantime and see about adding some new items to it in the months ahead. Thanks again to the early supporters!


----
Support me on Gumroad, https://terithsart.gumroad.com/

Aaaaaahhhh!! It time!

Okay, so, we're launching today. I'm kinda nervous still, but here we go. Let's get the rundown.

Most importantly, you can find my Gumroad at the following link,
https://terithsart.gumroad.com/
OR
https://gumroad.com/terithsart
Both options seem to work XD

Now you're probably wondering what you'll find there. A few things for now-- Which I plan to add to over time, but we're keeping it small for now. So...
(1) A Patreon-like monthly subscription to my Works in Progress. This comes in two tiers. For just $1 or more a month, you get access to just the WIPs. So anything I sketch out is going into the folder as it's finished. For $3 or more, you get the above, but also access to my new Discord server which will have some early access to finished content, polls for voting on what I should work on next, aaand plausibly private streams in future? This is a work in progress, it will evolve over time as I'm exposed to it more.

(2) A pair of old sketch art packs from over the years. Presently set at $10 and $5 minimums respectively, these packs contain older and more recent sketches from a variety of projects. Most of which are unreleased/unposted content. If you're interested in that kind of stuff or just want to hoard some more of my art, there you go. The "Old WIPs" pack contains 350+ images from over the span of like ten years. XD The "New WIPs" pack contains around 150+ images from the last 2-3 years in particular.

And that is it for now. I've got plans for a few more things later, but I wanted to feel things out and see how it goes first.
Sorry for the delay on getting this started for the few of you who wanted earlier access... but... Bweh. XD

It Open! Thanks to anyone who stops by.
I appreciate your support.

I didn't forget. XD

I've been trying to stall saying anything, but I realize that's probably also bad, so... I didn't forget.
The Gumroad launch is still coming. It's basically already set up, just... it took a little over a week or so to get everything I was doing with it studied, pulled together and ready to go. Then I was half-dead for a full week, because reasons I choose not to elaborate upon. And then we were past the halfway point of the month and I just thought-- "Right, let's just wait and launch next month."

So I'm taking the extra time to finalize one or two more things and I'll be making the full announcement... next Friday? Next Friday. So see you then and I hope this all works out. I've never done a subscription based service before and I'm hella nervous, but... we're sticking with it. I did not forget. XD

So, I'm planning to open a Gumroad soon. It would be a Patreon, but... they have their panties in a wad over unwilling vore, lol, so... Right. Gumroad it is.

I'm trying to follow Humbug's model to an extent, though... I'm obviously dumber, so I will do it more poorly. Nonetheless, I'm setting things up now and just trying to be prepared for it. I don't expect it to be up today, but expect a more compelling announcement with links in the coming days.

So why am I doing this now?
Well... I should have probably been doing it years ago, but I was afraid of attempting it and didn't believe anyone would pay to see me work. I still don't believe anyone will. My self confidence is great. But I need to do *something* and I've put this off long enough. Even if it doesn't bring in much, it's still something, and maybe it will help me maintain motivation and something close to a schedule. And if it fails? Then it fails? Oh well. Moving along.

What changes can you expect here?
Nothing much? I mean, if people are supporting me then maybe I'll post art more often, lol? XD Otherwise, nothing is really being gated off that wasn't already? By which I mean, there may be some incentives to joining the thing, like seeing works-in-progress and other sketches that I never moved to ink and finish... so I never posted them here. Because I don't usually post unfinished work here. And as far as completed works go, those will probably show up here as soon as they're done and I'm ready to post them. So pretty much as normal there. I've no particular plans to delay posting things by a month or week or even a day really? Might they still turn up in the Gumroad channels first? Yeah, plausibly. So if you need to be the first to see something, sure... lol. But you won't miss much just continuing to come here. If it's not a WIP, it'll get posted.

And finally, what are the benefits of supporting my Gumroad?
Well... for starters, you'd be financially supporting my work, even if it's only in a small way. I'll appreciate that. But I'm sure you're more interested in how it benefits yooouuuu, so... XD Apart from what I already mentioned about the Work In Progress sketches... There will be a Discord Channel. You can suggest things for me to go back and finish from the sketches pool. I'll do polls there so you can decide on things for me to work on. And I'll probably do exclusive art streams, if enough funding is coming in to prompt me to do so.

Additionally, as Gumroad is a broad platform, I'll probably throw up some variant art packs and old sketches packs that you can just buy individually, with or without joining the WIP Discord thing. Stuff that otherwise isn't posted to FA for whatever the reasons. And as time goes by, I might have some other stuff to put on there? But I don't want to hype up my pipe dreams right now.


Sooo.... right.... That's pretty much that thing then. I will resume having anxiety fits while working this shit out. Lols. See you soon.

I hate bringing this up, but it's like, I don't know where to go, who to ask, etc, etc... May as well see if anyone has ideas.

But like, I've wanted to do rambly youtube storytelling things for like... a while now, but I don't have the time to animate stuff? Or even really clipshowing it. It's too much work. The very thought overwhelms me. I wanna do it still, but I need something "watchable" as part of the process. I guess "podcast" is just as simple an idea but... I don't know... I like having that visual addition? It's an artist thing, I guess? And even if I wasn't doing any of this, just streaming or whatever, I've still always wanted to have one, but every time I've seen someone do it in the past and asked about it, they never quite got back to me?

Hell, if someone could find a really good tutorial even of just "this is how you draw the pieces to make this work right" then I might try that even? I've tried before but I didn't understand what I was doing and it just didn't pan out at the time. I'd probably still rather have someone else do it though just because... I would probably like it more than my own artwork, lol... XD

Just, you know, I don't feel like I can pay like $2000 for an avatar from some of the people I've been able to find so far?? (That are mostly booked anyways) Like, for that expense I could just got for a nice fursuit head and use a traditional fucking camera?? <.<;;

So I dunno, I guess I'm just looking for recommendations or tools or... whatever I can get honestly. Thanks for any input.

So, a day early for the victory lap but... I know I've already done the thing and it just needs to be posted so... Victory Lap, lols.

I am super happy that I made it through the entire fucking list this time. All 31 days of prompts, no skips, no cop-outs. It's all done~! Whoo! Final image from the prompt set will go up tomorrow afternoon as normal... Then once November rolls around... ahh... I don't know? XD I've got a few things I did before the month even started to still post? So I'll probably dig those back up and any other alts I had leftover to toss up maybe, if I feel like it... So those'll be up shortly I guess then... I dunno? I hadn't entirely planned for what to do after this. I just knew I wanted to do it and put all my focus onto it. And now... I dunno! XD

I've certainly got some projects to get back to and try to lift off the ground... one of which I teased with Leak, but... That's still a ways out from finished product. The pieces are all there, I just haven't put them all together yet. My usual awkwardness and stuff holding me back.

And it's hard to choose what to do sometimes too, even though I pretty clearly know my "audience" around here. :p Inktober has proven as much, as if I didn't already know. The breakdown is pretty much...
General/Clean/Personal Stuff - Barely any interest usually
Sex/Lewds and Non-Vore Kink - Low interest to Moderate attention
Vore Things - Lots of Fucking Attention, Lols

It messes with me sometimes, because I know I put a lot of effort into the cleaner things too and just... nobody cares, lols. XD But hey, this is effectively a porn site, I'm not surprised. It just feels weird and gets discouraging sometimes. But a few people still care and I guess that's enough, even if it's just my friends. :p But I've suffered from a lack of "Engagement" on FA for some time now, so I just get like that in general, not really know what people expect from me or if they'd actually buy anything I tried putting out. I guess if I ever finished anything, I'd know for sure, lols... but... aarrgghhh... the fickle motivation and the feelings that no one cares.

So again, I dunno. Don't expect me to keep uploading every day or anything, lols. But I'm going to at least *try* to maintain some manner of "just do it for yourself, if nothing else" like this Inktober thing nobody asked me for and I just did for myself and... maaaaaybe we'll make it somewhere? :p I just gotta decide on what to do. Probably should think up some YCH things soon too just because... holidays and-- getting more commissions of Taro maybe? I don't know. XD

Speaking of, first person other than me to draw em, go check this set out, it's fantastic~! <3 <3
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44392575/

Aaaand I guess I'll catch you later. :p

Yeah, Sefra's back or whatever? Btw... lols XD

I had this whole comic thing I was gonna do about it, as a welcome back, but I just never got around to it. Kinda like how it took forever to do/finish the one last year of Terith packing him away for the year. So maybe I'll actually still do it one day...? But probably not? Because I actively self-discourage myself unintentionally because moods and the world and bweh. :p

So yeah, not perma-erasing a character by way of rat guts... even though that'd still be hot. :p


On the same scale though, Terith's still a rat. I decided I like that, so... :p That's sticking.
I was similarly gonna do a comic about that but... *coughs* as previously mentioned... XD Bweh.

So anyways, yeah... everything is on the table again. No more arbitrary restrictions.
Other than that, couldn't tell you what I'm up to because the world still sucks and it's hard to self-motivate. So I do what I do as I feel like it. No projects to announce, probably couldn't keep up with one anyways... If anything of scale suddenly happens, then it'll just happen without a lot of fanfare. I'm tired of announcing ideas and projects and then not keeping it up. I'd rather just sit back let things either happen or not.

Getting rambly, gonna stop now. Update complete. Laters. :p

Redwall Musou

It wasn't that bad. :p

But I still frazzled out again. I've been trying not to say anything for a bit to see if I'd recover quicker and could just mop up my act but... bweh. Granted there were extenuating circumstances of one of my monitors giving out and having to have it replaced, but... that's done now and I'm still not feeling like drawing, so... Fuck. The mood will come back to me, obviously... eventually... but I've got to sit on everything until then and I always feel like I'm being a letdown for taking so long.

That said, I'm not "closing" because... something new might come in and relight the spark, but... I'll probably be reassessing some of the things I already considered taking on. And I did finish a couple things! I just refrained from posting so I could post all the commission requests I got done at once but... lols... now I'm just holding back for no reason, so I guess I'll get those up soon. :p

I dunno. I just wanted to update and take a moment to berate myself, lols. XD Because if I don't push myself to say something then I'll never say anything. Bweh.

I'm going to regret this.


While I'm not expecting a flood of requests, there will be probably limited slots, but they will not be first come first serve, I'll choose what ideas I want to attempt.

I only have one option one the table and that's for a completed (ie - inked and colored) image. Because that's pretty consistently what I do and I'm not interested in professionally half-assing something. So...
-Base Price $50 per image/panel
-Plus $10 if you want three or more characters in it
-Plus $10 if you want extra background details
-Plus $10 if you want it to stay private/unposted
-Plus $20 if you want to eat Terith :p


Send me a note with your idea(s) if you're interested :p

^-See Title

Merry Christmas~ <3


And ahh, I guess I have things to post, I just haven't yet. It's coming.
Have a good
Bweh :p

"Like the rest of America..." I am not shocked. I am not surprised. I am not praying for their recovery. I am not so fucking charitable of a person. I hope they die. It's what they deserve. But they'll probably be just fine and nothing will change because 2020 is not here to give us nice things.


Moving On...
More importantly, I've gotten two notes now over the past... ehhh... I'm thinking they were both pretty much within the span of a week? Both from completely different accounts. Both of which were "deactivated by the user" within the span of around three hours of receiving the message. Both were titled "hello lapseph" and both followed a similar message structure.

They started by greeting me and saying "You draw vеry wеll. It's just mаgicаl!" which was sweet, but...

From there they derail into pretty obvious spam... the first one said "Lеt's plаy аn adult browsеr gamе! Yоu don't neеd tо install the gаmе. You cаn plаy right аway! as аn artist, you will lоvе the art in this game." and the second said something about "Yоu аlreаdy knоw? onе of the first tо get playstаtiоn 5. Try it! It's freе. Givеaways from tоp blоggеrs" and then they were each followed by an obviously suspicious link.

The final line was something like "If you're nоt intеrеsted in this, I'm sоrry!"


I never clicked any of those links, obviously. I'm sure it was twelve kinds of trojan virus, malwares, etc... I dunno. But it's happened twice now in a week or so, so... This must be a thing that's going around. I haven't heard any announcements about it but... When has the administration ever addressed attacks on the site that didn't result in the site going down for a day? So just fair warning to people that this is happening and "Don't click the links, stupid!" Just figured I should bring it up since I hadn't heard about it anywhere else yet. XP

I definitely could have gone for a better Year of the Rat, but I guess I should have known that I'm not allowed to have nice things. :p Kinda sucks when you just want a whole year to just end already. So I guess the take away is "fuck arbitrary dates and ceremonies decided by people hundreds of years ago" and I'll just make every day rat themed because you fuckers can't stop me, lols.

Speaking of dates though... October's almost here... been doing a thing for that like three years in a row now? Not expecting to do it this time around though. Probably because Damien isn't either and I was kinda bandwagoning that whole thing with friends like that, so... if we're not doing it together, then it feels like there's less incentive. I tried getting an early start on it anyways to work myself up to it and see how it felt but... that derailed in all of a day. XD So imma just call that off now and keep going at whatever pace I want.

I do have an off again on again project going though... I started up a "Character 100" like humbug's done over time. Mostly just to refine my existing characters and make new ones so I can have my own cast of characters to pull from when I want to draw things. The thought process being that maybe if I don't have to keep relying on other people's characters for my projects and thus don't have to worry about skirting the edges of what any given person likes and dislikes, then I can have more fun just doing exactly what I want. But... I don't have a very extensive cast to really do that with yet, so... this is me trying to build up to it and make characters I can actually see myself caring about, so it'll have the same feeling and attachment as I have with other people's characters. That'll probably take a bit longer to really work out though. I've had problems growing attached to random characters I just make in the past. So like, I was trying to build several of the ones I was making up by also putting them into a table top game I was GMing for but... I kinda hit a wall with that and had to cancel it because I couldn't manage it the way I wanted. Which means I've lost the vehicle for fleshing out these characters and will have to think of something else for that now... <.<;; On the plus side though, it means I don't have to hide unrevealed NPCs from players anymore, so I can actually start posting those characters.

And the ones that weren't being used as NPCs but I haven't posted yet anyways... Or literally anything else lately that I did and then haven't posted because... I don't even have an excuse anymore? I just haven't done it. I don't know why. I just didn't think about it.

Which has been my long winding ramble to say things are still happening... and I'm gonna post em... I just... haven't? I dunno. The world is weird and distracting right now. I'm hoping it will chill the fuck out soon but... I'm not hopeful. Honestly, I'm probably terrified it's gonna get worse. Because it keeps doing that. And it really needs to fucking stop that. We all need time to breath.

I was just browsing imgur... it's a bad habit, but I was bored and still pondering over what to do because I'm still awake and probably shouldn't be. It hadn't really even registered when I started browsing through the next post what day it was, that there was a reason I was seeing this now. Just this little collection of images and things related to the event... and as I went down, I reached a video clip, so I unmuted it, and I watched. Normal people conducting daily business in their daily lives. The sound of a plane overhead in the city. They look up, they follow it, they pan the camera down the street to the buildings. Something hits. Boom. A massive fireball flares across the sky.

I've seen all of this before. It's nothing new. I've always been numb to it. Jaded. Cynical. Maybe it's the times we're in. Maybe it's because I'm more tired than I realized. Maybe its a lot of things...

But all of a sudden it all just hit me. Harder than it's ever hit me before. And I was crying and I was overcome and it was all just flooding back.


....I've never cried over it before.
The day it happened, class was about to change over to the second stop of the day. The basketball coach who taught our lousy-ass economics class was wheeling one of the carts with the tv on it into the center of the room, plugging it in, getting it turned on. That was new. The images of two buildings come up on screen, one looks like it's on fire? The bell rings, people are leaving the room to go to their next destination. A plane hits the building.

I laughed.

I always worry that will bother people when I say it. Hindsight 20/20 and all that. But it was hilarious. I'd never seen something so stupid actually happen before. I was a kid in my first or second year of high school. I didn't know yet there were actual people on the plane. In the building. I watched Power Rangers and shit all the time. Monsters and robots flew into buildings and exploded them constantly with no consequence. I hadn't made the real connections yet. I walked down the hall, laughing, "Some idiot flew a plane into a building." We got called out of normal classes and went to the auditorium to the teachers and the principal could tell us all about the fucking magazine sale drive we were gonna be doing that year for the school fundraiser... which was just a stupid thing we had to do. Maybe we'd win some dumb prizes, but probably not... Now I'm thinking about how we had to do that because the school was underfunded... this is how they tried to make ends meet. My god. It's always been like this. What a shitshow. But I sat there, as the world turned, next to my best friend and we joked. We made Wiley Coyote references and mocked holding up a tiny umbrella as an imaginary ceiling collapsed on us, because "Sir, there's a plane coming at us and there's nothing we can do!" Lol.

We were children.

Time passed by. My parents were out of town, away on one of my dad's work meetings in Los Angles. They'd been treating it like a vacation. My grandparents were babysitting my sister and me. Suddenly we didn't know if they'd be able to come home because all the planes had been grounded and we didn't know when they'd start up again. A day later I was having a personal crisis over a damned art project that was due and the teacher had misled me on the rules and everything was fucked. Everything I'd planned for the whole semester was ruined. And the people I'd have counted on to comfort me were thousands of miles away. Those tiny little things were more important than anything else. That was my world. Everything else was just something that was happening. It didn't effect me. We moved on. The world got worse, but my bubble never changed. Everything kept moving like nothing had happened until it seemed like everything was back on track.

Maybe it's because I'm older now. Maybe it's because now I can look back and just see everything falling the fuck apart. Maybe the world broke that day and I just never realized it. Cause it's certainly gone to shit. All my expectations in life have turned to dust. Nothing went the way it was "supposed to" and here I am now, flailing in the wind. The bad news is nonstop. Everything feels like another weight. It shouldn't effect me and yet it feels like it does. Every day I feel my jaw drop a little less. How does it keep getting worse? Why can we never improve? They spent twelve years teaching us all a lie. That the world was stable, that we had a place in it, that we could "do anything", that we had "character", that we could "change the world". What was the point of it all? It just makes me feel so stupid.

Ugh, but now I'm just having a depressed ramble. I don't even know why I started writing this... I just felt compelled to. Because it's never bothered me before. This "anniversary" comes and goes yearly and I don't even pay attention to it. But today it hurt me. Today it caught up to me. And I don't even know why.

So... I guess you could wait a week or two for the public premiere...

OR... if you're a fan of the old "There She Is!!" Doki and Nabi animations on Newgrounds, you could pop over to here...
https://www.patreon.com/sambakza?ut.....11f7-458720389

Drop a dollar and watch the newest animation in the series right now.
I'd definitely recommend it, its well animated and carries a powerful feeling throughout.
I went back to rewatch the original five episodes to refresh my context on everything after, then watched it again... XD
https://sambakza.newgrounds.com/

I think it's got a pretty powerful message going and it moved me pretty hard.
This thing's been in production for like four years, since the indiegogo campaign for making it launched and I'll admit I'd grown skeptical over time if it was ever gonna fucking come out but... they did it. And it's a solid ten minutes of quality animation.

So I mean, you could wait it out. Watch it later. That's fine.
Or you could go show some support for an awesome creative team for pretty damn cheap. Your call. >;p
But definitely check it out when you can. It's pretty awesome. X3

So hey, I haven't said anything about this? Or at least, not in a while? That I remember?
But like... I get it. I also hold to the notion that, in vore settings, everyone is food and I will totally eat you, because you're yummy and I wanna crunch you up in my tummy. Cause we're all weirdos like that and everything is or should be fair game. Like, that's my opinion. I'm not super keen on the notions of Pred-Only and Prey-Only characters. This is probably obvious from my past behaviors. Still, I tend to try to respect people's preferences when and where I can, so like... yeah. If you are one of those things, that's fine, I'll deal.

Then there's me. I'm definitely a total switch as far as roles go. I like a little of everything but like... I'm reaching that bar with my patience where people are starting to bug the fuck out of me, so I'm saying this publicly now, alright? Like, I'm not gonna say I'm Pred-Only. I don't wanna play that game. You're gonna see me draw my characters getting ate from time to time. Or drawn by others getting ate. That's my decision to do that, so obviously I'm cool with that. Maybe you aren't quite noticing the percentages through? Like... more often than not, especially lately, I'm at least leaning heavily into predator territory. I'm preferring that role more and more. Feels good to me.

Yet I'm getting constantly poked and prodded and generally pestered by different people that wanna eat me or see me get ate. And it's like, okay, I don't mind vore teasing, obviously... but... I didn't ask for this? And I don't know why you think I'm down for this from you? Like, there's a few very close friends that I roll with just about anything on and if you're reading this and have to ask yourself "Am I one of those people?" then... you probably fucking aren't? And I'm getting real tired of it. I don't want to be eaten by you or having me being eaten constantly suggested to me. Do not assume I enjoy that. You're probably pissing me off and I'm just being absolutely far more chill then you probably deserve right now about it (and not saying anything further because I'm socially awkward and conflict adverse). But usually I'll just stop responding these days when it comes up. If that's all you want me for is a toy rat to dom, then please excuse yourself from the conversation and maybe rethink your approach to people? Cause I can imagine plenty of non-vore related instances where this same sort of activity is probably annoying to people.

This is not a call out to say "I just wanna eat everybody and only approach me to be eaten, lols," either... Cause I'm not an asshole. XD And I'm still a switch just... I dunno... chill the fuck out for a while? Geezums, fuck.

I somehow manage to depress myself constantly by revisiting old mobile games that I'd stopped playing to see if they've improved or added anything neat. So I'll play them for a while and it's all cool for like a day or two, and then I start gradually seeing the signs again... and it becomes frustrating because I can't just PLAY the god damned game. I can't earn the things that I want.

It tends to lead me to arbitrarily searching for gem hacks and the like. Which are always fun to watch the youtube videos for because they are always exactly the same. These scams are a science. Go to this website. Input your usename and device type. Insert number of currency you want, lols. Watch this fancy simple to create visual animation of things telling you that it's logging into servers and adding the currencys and now-Okay, just need you to do a "Human Verification" step. (Because we can't let bots cheat, only humans, lols.) You'll just need to do this survey or download this app, "It's Easy!" and then the video SKIPS PAST DOING THAT PART and then shows you the aftermath of, Now here's that account we showed at the beginning of the video with a bajillion credits now! Totally worked, lols! Nevermind that part we cut out in the middle. The part where it doesn't work and just takes you to the actual scam. *eyerolls*

There's only one time in history that I finally encountered an actual exploit, for Injustice mobile, that allowed me to basically sell a card without actually selling the card and thus slowly accrue a buttload of highly valuable currency which allowed me to purchase more card packs and things, and generate more valuable resources that I desperately needed. And the funny thing was, that even after doing all of that, I was still seemingly under-powered. Not only that, but upon reflection of the amount of time I'd already spent playing the game (like a year) and the amount of currency and resources it took to bring me up to speed with the exploit only to still not be at the top of my game... if I'd had to earn all of those resources legitimately, then it probably would have taken me 2-3 years. And then I still wouldn't be top of my game... Lols. What a crock of shit.

So like... yeah... I really want cracks and hacks of the mobile game's I've played. Just so I could actually fucking enjoy them again for once. Preferably even so I could play them without having to connect to their servers and just generate my own guilds and whatever other mess of "fake friends" I'd need to emulate to accomplish tasks in certain titles. Not because I *need* that extra step, so much as just to avoid the inevitable account banning part. Because that'd surely happen. Lets not let anyone have fun. No cheating allowed in our games! Lols. Only that's a lie. They allow blatant cheating. The difference is that the other people are PAYING for their cheats and advantages. You're trying to cheat for FREE?? Fuck you mate.


Whatever, I'm frustrated and just wanted to update my journal, nobody's gonna comment anyways. :p

Listen. Alright?
I don't want to hear your fucking excuses.

I don't care if you don't think the looting or the fires were inappropriate.

I don't care if you think "not all cops are bad"

I don't care if you think this isn't a discussion we should be having here.

I don't care. I don't. Fucking. Care.
I don't want to hear it. I don't want to argue with you. I don't want to waste my time trying to link you to news stories or articles that prove my points and refute yours, that you won't even bother to read anyways.

I don't want to spend two hours writing an essay about how I feel just for some dipshit who never comments on my work to pop out of the woodwork and try to start a conversation with me about why I'm wrong. Fuck you.

Something has to CHANGE. It has to be changed. We cannot keep doing this. Can you all stop focusing on the stupid minutia and stick to the fucking point that something in our society is fucked up and we have to change it. That is the only part of this that matters. That we strive to create change. I don't care how that has to happen, so long as it happens. If something positive, for the greater good comes out of all this, then it was all worth it. Otherwise, if you just stand by and cause a fuss and obstruct because you disagree on the fucking semantics... then it was all just pain and suffering. We accomplished nothing. Congratulations. You get to keep your fucking status quo. And we'll be right back here again in six months or less.

I have no power. My friends are suffering. This is all I can do.