Just finished Undertale, pacifist route, even though i watched the Grumps play it a while back.

But it was fun! Really love the characters, and the one of them i most symphathize with is the nerdy little Alphys. I like strong women, i watch anime, and am quite shy and nerdy all around.

Definitely worth the GOTY prize :3

A certain kick-ass artist named Rya Agawa picked my character Pitaya among 30 others to draw as a request!!!

Dont Believe me? Check it: http://lazysketcher.deviantart.com/journal/?edit

If you dont know about him already, just do yourself a favor and check out his gallery on DA and Tumblr!

So, im having a hard time with Money right now, ever since christmas the bus firm i buy tickets home, and up to my Town of stufying, from jacked up the prices really steep, ive noticed it severely.

So i was thinking, as many of the wonderful artists i know do, i thought i could earn a Little Money doing something i do everyday, drawing!

Sketch comissions!

I was thinking some people would like it, i could start doing sketch based Commissions, for about 17 dollars, or euros, theyre about the same, and that would include:

Pinups.
Ecchi.
Erotic.
And more if theres an intrest.

Though my drawing range would be single human women, maybe something more furry, depening on the detailes and such.
Ill post a complete journal with rules should there be a demand for it.


It would certainly help me out a lot, both financially, and drawing wise, since it would make me draw a whole lot more and help me grow as an artist.

Im having a spoon engraved with a quote, anyone good any good or funny ones?

First of all, happy halloween everybody! Im not a party person so this is just Another weekend alone for me, so im feeling a bit depressed, and ive been thinking of a lot of stuff.

But now ive got a question for all you out there who can grab a pencil and make something of a blank paper:

Why do you draw?
What drives you forward? What makes your hand tingle and crave a pen?



Im seriously intrested in what you guys have to say.

Im sort of going through an identity crisis at the moment and i cant for the love of me give myself an answer.



So i pass the question on to you!

Yeah! What do you know?

Ive actually gone through sort of a huge art-block for about a year or so now, just havent been feeling the pencils flow in my head.

But now, all of a sudden, the block broke, when i drew a Quick sketch of just a basic figure, and so i discovered, that i can actually draw faster than i claim! I just didnt care about the drawing itself, just Went wild with lines and got my head off of detailes and ended up with a satisfying sketch, ALL UNDER AN HOUR!?

Heres a few things i noticed that got me started:

1. No detailes, fuck em, just rough lines at first, then come the detailes and line correctings.

2. Dont care about ereasing lines, theyre not that important, stop treating them like roses, just shred them like paper through a shredder.

3. Take notice of the time, in under an hour, you shall have a figure done!


There! I sure hope thatll help someone like it helped me!





Now im off to draw more pr0nz!

...Really, am i not?

I mean, i Always have an urge to be creative and draw stuff, but, i often find myself in a really lousy mood, cause i just cant draw or even come up with something to draw!

And all the time i see people im watching just farting out Amazing pieces of art as if they were comming off of an assembly line!

I just go: "How the hell do they do it!?".

THEY never seem to have huge downtimes, THEY dont seem to runn out of will power!



All the while i sit here just trying to draw up a single recognizable figure!

And trying to make an entire shaded colored Picture takes hours now and i usually just end up working the whole night on just the shading of the skin or something!

You know how they say that if you keep practising youll become faster? Well, that doesnt seem to affect me, ive been drawing bishoujo women for like 5 years now, and im still slow as a snail in tar!



I often do get the thought of just quitting, just never draw again, but i Always have that itch in my hand! But that itch doesnt mean i come back and starts to draw good again, it usually just mean i try to draw something ive never done Before, or something i HAVE done Before, and then i just get frustrated.



Can i really classify myself as an artist? Not in my Eyes i cant.













Also, how does anyone find Dead Space scary???

So yeah, havent posted a journal in a while, well anyway:

Im really trying to make real characters out of my, well, characters, especially my main one, Pitaya.

But the thing is, i dont know how to make a character! How you build up their personalities and ways of acting, but i REALLY want to make them stand out, be more 3 dimensional of you will!

And as for my other characters? Well, ive only got a few... Emotions to go on to describe them, for example:

*Shana, my catgirl, is playful and has a really long tail.

*And the Practise girl (Really need a name for her!), shes shy, kinda like a mirror image of Fluttershy, which is weird cause i created practise girl way Before that show was even made, but 'tis a good example none the less.

And thats really all ive got, i dont know what to do, ive got to come up a way to make them more... personalitial... YEAH! Thats a Word... *ahem*


Anyone got any suggestions?

It was well worth waiting 3 years for! The graphics, the weapons, the new "plasmids", the story! And the ending i wont dare spoil for anyone!

GO OUT AND BUY IT DAMN IT!!! :D

Yeah, due to FA's stupid file limitations, i couldnt upload some of my art some quite some time! But then i realized the problem and are now busy scaling them down and updating my gallery so its up to date with my DA account!

Visit my page on DA to see the images in their full and non-pixalated scale glory!

This is the link to Pixies pony stream:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9774100/

Hope ya see this you derpy purply Pixie pony! :D

Eyupp, its my birthday, not that anyone cares.

Merry christmas to you all here on FA!

Also, i need you all to help me find a good way of making Lineart.

And a happy new afterlife! xD

I cant upload anything to FA anymore! I thought it was just a temporary thing, but i just cant get past the file selection screen without an error message! SOMEBODY HELP!!! ;_;

Im having some technical difficultese with the site, whenever i try to upload new art, i only get to the file selection screen and then it loads for a while when i try to move to the next step, but then i loose connection to the site!

So i cant upload anything! But everyone else seems to be able to.

HELP!

It finally happend! I have a bookface now!

I dont care anymore, im bound to walk the earth alone for the rest of my life, i was an outcast as a child, and im an outcast as an adult... I do not care.

Its been almost a week since me and my love Mikaela went our sepperate ways now, it still stings to think of it all.

Ive really been trying to get myself through the week, but its been one of the hardest tasks ive ever had to do.
The memories, bonds and links weve made during these years, they were all torn appart by our own decisions, to leave each other, cause we werent good for one and other.

It stings to think about, like someone presses a needle full of sorrow directly into your temple, ive been trying to ignore the feeling by playing videogames, which helps a lot, especially online ones where i socialise with other people, either killing them or building stuff together with them.
But when i get back to the real world, it all turn black, and i can feel the sting of the needle.

Ive been having some rather confusing thoughts lately too, i find myself constantly scanning my surrounding to see if i find a girl who i would like to know better and be with, i guess its the effect of the lonelyness, im automaticly trying to find replacement for that missing space, even though i know, it cant be filled again...

Ive also been thinking alot on tattoos, ive thought about it for a while now, and one thing i would like to decorate my body with, is an Ouroboro dragon, like the ones the Humunculi wears in Full Metal Alchemist, or something having to do with philosophy, since i consider myself a philosopher, though im not certain i even WANT to get one, maybe im just trying to leave a mark reminding me of how much it hurts to lose someone you love.

It finally happend, something which ive been dreading for a while now.

Me and my love Mikaela... is no more...


Ive said it before and ill say it again: Fuck... My... LIFE!!!

Does anyone even watch these?

Well anyways, ive started thinking about something, maybe i should do more furry stuff?
The thing is, ive got tons of unfinished sketches and such lyin around, but i just dont feel motivated to finish them, cause no one seems to view anything i put up nowadays.

Keeping this short since no one has time to spend on me.

So, what should i do?

So yeah! Its that time of year once again, the spring, and for some reason, my art class desided to go to Stockholm to view some art exhibits on in museums.

The exhibitions were really weird and bizarre, the first place had this woman who drew with her menstrual pink blood, and another had a badly made stop motion video going with a dog plushie who fell in love with a cat, weird, oh well! Its art i guess!

And then there were the most bizarre one of them all, one painting, made in oil on a 2x2 meter big canvas, had dicks as the motive, im not kidding, it was a painting, with dicks, all sizes and varietys, what the f?
not a single person who saw it couldnt help but draw a forced back smirk, pretty odd.
And it wasnt far away from the coolest painting, with a magician who made a person hover.
My fellow classmates and i just stod there adoring the painting, and then when we glanced away, we saw dicks again, wow...

Well anyway, after forcingly having to gobble up an overpriced piece of chicken with two bone pieces, and which tasted like a jellyfish, we journeyed to our next exhibition on another museum, this one was one charicatures.
Which frankly, went fast, we went through it all two times plus a couple of bathroom breaks before our teacher even had parked the van!

Then came the fun part, we went to the "old town" part of Stockholm, which is like the remnants of olden times and lies around the castle.
Anyhow, we went from store to store seeking for my head objective, finding the fabled manga store!
We searched the little boutiqes looking at rock stuff and souvenir items, mostly knives and such, but i didnt find anything of value, except an angry birds plushie, got my favorite one! :D
When we finally came around, almost to the point where we started, we desided to head back, but then i was drawn down the alley towards another street that went parralell to the one we were on, and there, i found something awesome!

It was a comic shop! A VERY rare sight here in Sweden, it was called "comic heaven", we went inside cause, hey, its the next best thing to a manga shop!
I started to scan the bookshelfes for FMA pockets, which they had but all scattered around the shop, even found some American made comcis which were mostly Marvel and DC superheroes, even found those sexy "Grimm fairy tales" books, which i kinda regret not buying, since they were pretty neat, after all.
But i was on a strained budget and couldnt buy just anything, cause i had a hunch, i would find something more valuable there soon...

And there, below some generic manga books and a yaoi hentai pocket (Very odd, and kinda disturbing...), i found that of which ive been searching for for YEARS, and longed to get my hands on!
It was a bunch of Sonic comics! REAL american "archie comics" Sonic comics!
I nearly jumped with glee!
After all these years of been trying to get a hold of a copy, i found a whole box of them!
I grabbed the one who looked most intresting, such as the backstory to the first two games, one with the metal Sonics on, and the best find of them all, one with Scourge!

This was such a very VERY rare event!
Some other day i MUST go back to that shop, and gather some more goodies!

And thats pretty much my day in Stockholm, a fun and joyous day :D

I do however regret not buying anything for my girlfriend :(

So, i got my computer back to shape, sorta, im still missing a few programs like Photoshop and such but ill wait to install that ti'l i remember how to install it.
Well anyway, i got back most of my dear files that i wanted to be saved, my graphics card is working fine and everythings up and running.

Except, there were a few casualties, of course, among them were my saved videoclips, and then sadly, all my images.

The Virus ate the whole folder, did leave aything behind, it ate the whole thing, vacation photos, reference pics and the most saddest, 3 years of work in photoshop, ive got no projekts or finished pictures left, its ALL gone!
I luckily had some projekts of a more adult matter saved in another file, so those survived.

But alas, all my current projekts were wiped clean from my computer by the tounge of the virus.

R.I.P My Images, you will be dearly missed

My new computer got its first virus!
Ive been dreading this day, its been years since i last had a virus in my comp, and now when ive got it back from repair, my graphics card doesnt work!
I cant play Minecraft and if i try to view a video, its all pixellated and it skips frames!
And to top it off, i just installed the anti-virus program, and discovered i had a spy program, so clearly, they didnt fix it enough!

Tomorrow im taking it back up for further repairs, if they can fix it, im afraid my awesome graphics card is totally broken, or it may be they forgot to connect it or something.

And the worst of all this is, they said they saved all my requested files such as my Photoshoiop projekts and works, onto my D drive, but see the thing is, THEYRE NOT THERE!
The drive says its got 600GB occupied by files, but there only 3 shortcuts to my video, images and document files, and they only take 1KB each!

Something is definately wrong, i want all my files back! :(

Well, last friday, it was my 19th birthday, which im surprised many people on here congratulated me on.

Anyway, i celebrated the whole thing with my family and girlfriend, when i woke up in the morning my parents came in to my room and sang (even though im 19 years old T_T;) and they said i would get a new computer creen as i wanted, but i had to pick it out myself, and i got some candy and later a box of coca cola from my dad, kinda dissapointed.
I know a new screen costs much, but i was hoping to get Modern Warfare 3, since i didnt get it for christmas, i mean its very expensive to buy a brand new game these days, especially if you got a depressed girlfriend who needs cheering-up candy and such, which i buy for her since im such a softy.

She gave me something too though, i got some lovely roses, and im later gonna get something i picked out from an asian shop down town, which ive had my eyes on for a while, still waiting for it though.

And my friend and classmate Martin is gonna give me Terraria, as soon as his bank stops fucking about with steam!

And i dont really know why, but i was depressed for 3 days during my birthday, i guess ive just REALLY been thinking about my future and my life after school, but i just dont know, finishing school is my end of the world, and im standing on the edge staring down the deep deep void.

Write a comment, if you read this, imaginary person...