I hate being lonely X_x

It drives me off the wall and the fact that no one responds to my ounced ads and such if blasting my self esteem like tnt.

I fucking hate this state X_x All the other furries are like 4 hours away.

I can't do these long distance things anymore, it's causing some mental breakdownage!

If anyone knows some furs in Missouri who would like to hang out and lives relatively close to Branson ;n; please introduce us!

I NEED SOCIAL CONTACT.

Or else Ill have to start making friends with trees.

Is like an atomic bomb of disappointment and anxiety.

Everything will be going smoothly and we're happy.

Then suddenly bad shit ALWAYS happens to my lovers, like getting kicked out of their home, living in a van and having zero ability to contact me or vice versa.

It seems like Im a walking curse ._.

Mmmmmmmmm

Self esteem.

Schade schade schade...

Since I have to mooch off dial up internet, I figure Ill leave this message up.

The only form of communication I have these days is a phone (Verizon btw.)

If you want to, AND I know you, you can leave a note asking for my number or leaving your own.

Just remember if you aren't alltel/wireless I can only talk from 9pm - 12am central US time.

If you have verizon or alltel c: Zippideedoodah

K bye for another long time!

OH ALSO

I has a car now, if you're a fur in missouri, note me if you want to hang out at some point!

So im sitting up at about 4 am right now before bed and work, playing mass effect 2.
I just got to a amazingly cute part where a team member shows that she has an intense crush on your character and is all stuttery and embarassing herself and dear gawd it was adorable.

But thats not what this journal is about. It is about an admission of weakness displayed on my part in reaction to this instance.

After the "Dawwwwwww~"s I began to feel envious. No, not of their relationship, but that i used to get that flustered when around people i liked.

It made my heart sink. I miss that feeling. I feel like ive become an unfeeling dick. I miss that feeling of innocent love where you just feel nothing but butterflies until they reassure you you dont need to worry and you just feel so goddamn ....at ease.

It might just be me flustered since i havent heard from rye, am upset and isolating myself.... In fact thats probably it. Either way, I feel pretty hollow and embarassed that a game got me so flustered.

Got to just deal with it I guess.
Course, i do always wonder if anti dep aides would do it. Probably not. In fact, no, they'd probably make me more either careless or tactless. xC

Anyways.
Turians are hot.
To end this on a positive note.

my pc has gone kaboom :c

im using a ds to type, so i wont be on a lot for a looooong time.

due to the fact im no longer moving to canada (dont ask or ill be pissy) i might be getting a laptop soon.

but even so, probably not till i get a car.

shit happens, shit happened, and inb4 asking, im doing shitty.

but don't we all.

peace.

And Im so excited to play it >.>; It hardcore looks just like Dungeon Keeper.

Also: I got Xbox live again.
So yeah.

But what the fuck I enjoy roleplaying with fake ones.

Its so fucking adorable that I cant hate them entirely D<

Damn you adorable moments! DAMN YOU.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCrt.....eature=related Bagpipe hardcore

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDyM.....eature=related Bassdrummer - Celtic Hardcore

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh7SUE9T88U Dj Whiskey - Celtic Celebration

( Just celtic :x ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFBYIT4fvcY Korpiklaani - Happy Lil' Boozer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y8Vk3YZnPA Drink and Fight - Mudmen

Thank you Doctor Jack!

Erin Go Braugh!

The faggoteer is going down
Hoorah hoorah
He's going to the brig real soon
Hoorah hoorah
He thinks that all is well and good
He ne'er shouldve act' so crude
And Ill laugh last 'cuz
He'll be in a brig. He'll be in a brig~

To all you Irish lads and lasses,
and all you people who will be irish for a day.

Where will you be on the best of all holidays?

Are you going to be shit-faced?

And if so, where will you wake up?

FOR SERIOUS DO NOT WATCH THIS MOTHER FUCKING VIDEO IF YOU ARE OFFENDED AT ALL BY ACTS OF CRUELTY.

I DO NOT MEAN "OFFENDED EASILY"

I FUCKING MEAN IF YOU ARE OFFENDED AT ALL!

I am hard to offend or scare or gross out.... but holy shit these acts of animal abuse were too great to watch... fucking sign the petition to save animals in China from being skinned and boiled alive... Jesus fucking christ...


https://www.ptroa.co.il/petition/index.php


(changed the title so people would sign >:I ))

FOR SERIOUS DO nOT WATCH THIS MOTHER FUCKING VIDEO IF YOU ARE OFFENDED AT ALL BY ACXTS OF CRUELTY.

I DO NOT MEAN "OFFENDED EASILY"

I FUCKING MEAN IF YOU ARE OFFENDED AT ALL!

I am hard to offend or scare or gross out.... but holy shit these acts of animal abuse were too great to watch... fucking sign the petition to save animals in China from being skinned and boiled alive... Jesus fucking christ...


https://www.ptroa.co.il/petition/index.php

stolen from my lil brother  vene BECAUSE THATS CREEPY TROLOLOL


1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
yes

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
afternoon and night, morning is my BLUGGHHH ZOMBEH time.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The wall side :I Its just a mattress... so from the doorway... the right side.

4. Do you masturbate?
Why yes I do :D

5. How often? Lately?
At least once a day.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Once upon a time.

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Romantically? Baths.

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Well yar

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Yup yup

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
aggressive c: But sometimes I like being aggressive too.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Hellz yeah! <3 Rye ryeeee

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Not irl no :I

13. Would you choose love or money?
Love.

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
light bondage, RAEPPRAIIII, and feetsiesss

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
No, they'd get hurt.

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
None yet. SO on the floor.

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Hmmm.... GOOD QUESTION.
Since none were really wierd.

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
No I sexed an ex in front of peeps before.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No. Don't want to.

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No. I dont like pub rats sexually.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Yep >:I She looked under my kilt after my dads wedding.

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
My man <3

24. What's your sexuality?
Im gay by choice, so really Bi with an extreme male pref.

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Fingered someone :x

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
yup

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Noooo.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
I dont remember it, I think my ex got me drunk.

29. Bought something from an adult store?
no :C

30. Do you own any sex toys?
No ;n;

31. If yes, how many and what are they?
No u

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
I think Rye does xD

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
No.

34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yes XD IT WAS WEEIIIRD

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Yus, many many times.

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yup, it's my favorite to deliver :3

37. What's your favorite sexual position?
I dont know the names :X

38. What's your favorite sex act?
Orallll

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
No.

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Yo mama

Name: Glanz Arvin

Species: Wolf Anthro

Age: Undecided (Might be around 19)

Gender: Male

Description: A strawberry pink wolf with sapphire blue messy hair and equally blue eyes.
He is a very innocent, very frightened victim of (dun dun dunnn) being lost.
The poor little thing stands 4'5" and has no family as of yet. Glanz is a very friendly, very easy to get along with young man with a shy streak. He is not quick to understand what one wants, but is quick to warm up to a person and usually in the mood to help out. Being lithe, he is not built for a fight, nor does he ever want to.

Psychi: Innocent, not sexually active, afraid for others and himself, he acts selflessly. He is blushy and shy, not very proactive unless offered to be thus.

Interests: Dancing, music, helping the unable, friendships, and family activities.

Fears: Most dark things, pain, strangers, heights and deep water.

History: None! 8D I haven't thought to much on it yet, he's brand spanking new.

Uses: Casual and family roleplay.

stolen from  spike52591 because I could c:

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Always

2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Backwards

3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
With my rye ;u;

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Nein

5. Are you a girly-girl?
No. BUT IM A PRETTY GURLLLL

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My boss :I

7. Small or large purse?
Oh lawdy my purse has to be three times the size of me.

8. Are you short?
5'10"

9. Do you like somebody?
Only my Rye.

10.Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy?
No, that would be tomfoolery.

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
I do actually >n> They feel grrrrooossss

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
Yes, yes I am.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Always.

14. Are you double jointed?
No.

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I fell asleep halfway in a cupboard, half on a hardwood floor due to lack of sleep crawlig through a man made wall. The cat slept on my back.

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
Lolno.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
Not one Ive heard.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Like everyone.

19. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"?
Everyone who questions my gender xD

[ ] I do wear make up.
[ ] I have cried in a movie theater.
[ ] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth. (n/a I NEVER wear mascara)
[xxxxxx] I get jealous.
[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[ ] JUDE LAW FAG ((TROLOLOLOLOLOL))
[xxxx] I love to laugh.
[x] I like death/grind/black metal.
[x] I like rap.
[x] I like techno.
[ ] I like country.
[ ] I carry a purse.
[x] I'd be lost without my computer.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a boy band CD.
[x] I get bored watching football.
[ ] I've never been called a spoiled brat.
[ ] Guys are confusing.
[ ] I've been called a bad influence (( No surprisingly. ))
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.


Come on ladies, be truthful!

1. What color is your bra that your wearing?
invisable silk

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
preferably dark.

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
Im frustrated with a lot of guys AND girls.

4. What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them?
The way Rye did. Be a gentleman without being posh.

5. Do you have a best friend?
yes

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Once.

7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Gawd no.

8. Do you like your life?
It's not peak, but I enjoy it.

10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
Yes. Yes they have.

11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
I was very drunk :I

12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
More girls, but I actually hang out with guys more because girls usually bore me when out and about.

13. How long have you had a facebook?
like a year ?

14. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
Yes I have xD

15. What are your biggest fears?
falling up, murky water, and failure.

16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
A loooong time ago.

17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Rye.

18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?"
Yes, I have seen it in use in most relationships Ive had >:I

19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
yeah

20. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Sometimes, but it usually subsides.

21. Are you currently missing someone?
Rye ;n;

THIS GUY OR THAT GUY? PICK ONE:

Cowboy or Gangster?
Gangster

Preppy or Punk?
Punk

Face or Body?
both

Good cook or take you out a lot?
Cook (And I got me a damn amazing cook >:3 Mwuahaha )

Sweet or sexy?
both

Armani or Abercrombie?
Spencers

Contacts or glasses?
Glasses are adorable ;u;

When people who cheated on you add you on social sites?

It baffles me!

Heinrich Sonnegeist:

A creation in the 1930s gone wrong after being introduced to the nazi party by Surgei Tesla (  zova 's character ).
Heinrich is a hateful, cold and cruel murderer soon after seeing the cruelty of his nazi masters and the cruelty towards himself and his creator's family.
In time he would become the owning Gestapo of his own concentration camp and the "inspector" to many other camps.
Small, but violent, he is well feared among his troops and prisoners alike.

Psychologically, Heinrich is hateful towards all living things. He hates the NSDAP as much as he hates himself, his prisoners and his creator. Being as he is, he does however have a spot in mind for Surgei and his wife and has plans for them that would affect the party's rise.



Hector Mengele:

Named after Doctor Mengele, Hector is another creation of Surgei Tesla, forced into creation by the nazis' cruel oppression.
Hector, unlike Heinrich, is a loyal Nazi trooper, enlisted in a death squad for his brutallic nature.
Physically, Hector is huge, he is unnaturally strong, and has a strange need for oil and other flammable substances. He shoots up oil as if it were heroine, drinks it, whatever he feels like doing with it really. ( Maybe jack off too, I know you were thinking about that in your sick minds >:O )
Psychologically, Hector is a brute, wants to hurt anything the nazis allow him too. And for this reason he is chosen to kill anyone the nazis couldn't stomach. He has assaulted his creator and bullied him often as well, and has no sense of family or love.

Once upon a time, there was a Man who was very happy.
He had a garden, a forest, and a wonderful Family whom he loved very much.

For since he could remember, life was perfect. The Man and his family were provided for. No one had to work or worry. And for a time, it was good.

One day, the Man went to harvest his crops from the garden and a Stranger approached him. The Stranger told the Man that the Benefactor was not pleased.
"Why?" asked the Man, and the Stranger replied, "You do not give enough to the Rest."
The Stranger left and the Man thought on it.

The next day, the Man went to the Rest with his crops. He gave them to the Rest and looked proudly at them as they walked to their homes with his food.

The Man returned home to a hungry Family and he apologized, "The Benefactor forgives for our Sacrifice."
The Man and his Family slept on empty stomachs.

So the Man continued to give his crops to the Rest and his Family hungered.
But the Benefactor seemed pleased.

The next week, the Stranger returned to the barren garden and told the Man that the Benefactor was not pleased. Shocked, the Man asked again, "Why?"
And the Stranger replied, "You have not given enough to the Rest."
Again, the Stranger left and the Man thought on it.

The next day, the Man went to the Rest with his firewood.
He gave them to the Rest and looked proudly as they walked to their homes with his warmth.

The Man returned home to a cold Family and again, he apologized, "The Benefactor forgives for our sacrifice."
The Man and his Family slept in the cold darkness.

So the Man continued to give his firewood to the Rest and his Family shivered.
But the Benefactor seemed pleased.

The next week, the Stranger returned to the garden and told the man that the Benefactor was not pleased. Shocked, the man said " But I have given my food and warmth!"
Again, the Stranger replied, "You have not given enough to the rest."
And again, the Stranger left and the Man thought on it worriedly.

The next day, the Man went to the Rest with his Deed. He gave it to the Rest and with weary, hungry eyes, watched them walk to his home.

His Family did not come to him, and the Man no longer had a home. The Man lay in the dark; alone, frightened, cold and hungry. As he fell asleep in the dirt, the Man reassured himself, "The Benefactor forgives for our Sacrifice."

The next day, the Stranger came across the Man and he said,

"The Benefactor is not pleased. You do not give enough to the Rest."

---

To the readers: I want to see what you all see in this story, what the message was really about.

Parable is © me.

Oh man I am crying so hard.

Acts of self sacrifice bring out the emotions. And this is even worse because of the outcome...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34Hn.....;feature=feedu

If you doooooooo

And you are 1337

Note me :3

Stolen from  Rika because it was easy.

1. Are you single or taken?
Taken by  RyeBeragist

2. Chocolate or flowers?
I like flowers, Ive got me a cavity X_x

3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
Sit around and listen to music. Because that's special.

4. Do you like anyone?
Just Rye.

5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
No, didnt work out.

6. Who do you want to spend Valentines with?
Rye

7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Nope, I hate it enough to just say happy Vday to others and go do my shit begrudgingly.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Plenty of stalkers.

9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
Sent Rye one.

10. Do you believe in Cupid?
A flying pixie that shoots people in their dicks with heart arrows?
Sure, why not.

11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
I got a present once I think.

12. Do you still send out Valentine cards?
Nope, never loved people until high school.
So instead I just gave out candy.

13. Do you like candy hearts?
I used to until they killed the wintergreen ones.

14. What is something you got last Valentines?
That's a good question.
Because I didn't get anything last time.

15. Is Valentines depressing?
Im always depressed, it just gives me a reason to add annoyance to the pool.

16. How is your love life?
Sexy. Distant. Loyal.
Could change that second one.

17. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
Yup. Cheated on and dumped all at once.
It was magical.

18. How many roses would you want?
I dont really want gifts ;n; I just like being around the people I love.

19. Will you have a girlfriend/boyfriend this Valentines day?
I have a fiance
A country away o~o

20. Do you look forward to Valentines day?
I am next year.

21. Who was your last Valentine from?
Whut?

22. Who do you expect to get a Valentine from this year?
No one.

23. Who would you most like to receive a Valentine from?
Rye

24. How many Valentines will you be sending this year?
I bought one for Rye.

25. Have you ever not received a Valentine?
I think so in school. It had a nasty note in it.
Faggots.

26. What was the most Valentines you received in a single year?
I think legit ones were from my father, he didnt get along with me at all but he cared. <3 Thanks dad.

27. Have you ever received an anonymous Valentine?
Nope.

28. Have you ever sent an anonymous Valentine?
No.

29. Will you be sending an anonymous Valentine this year?
No.

30. What was the best Valentine gift you ever received?
I got my first Linkin Park cd.
That was the thing from my father.

31. What was the worst?
When my ex broke up with me after getting me toked for the first time in my life.
I didnt know what to do.

32. Have you ever started dating someone on Valentines day?
No.

Naturally Im pissed today.
So far anyways.

It's not because Im alone, Because Rye is always with me.

But because people in my situation make it seem far worse than it needs to be.

On that note, here's a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUwokIvzUhU

Want to see an example of something I hate in the masses?

Here's some quotes I shared with one of the statistics.

Him: So it's got to be alway's racist huh??? I thought you adult's were smart instead of gay idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Directed at general public)

Me: You're a moron, go think about what you just typed. (Directed at his comment)

Him: sure use back talk I don't really care it shows how sad and pathetic you are, why do you deny the racism in these comment's. (To me trying to make me look like a derp....)

((.... And readily failing as I retort c: ))

Me:You try to say these people are racist and call them gays.

As in all gays are stupid.

If you're going to try and be a white knight, I suggest you go clean your proverbial armor and try on a clean slate.

You're ignorant to say I dismissed any racism. I only said you were a moron and to read what you type before you make a moron's comment.

(( Viola. ))