Let's try to make this journal less melancholy.

But first I want to let this out of my system.... I had awhile ago conversation with my little brother and I said "there's nobody more important to me in this world than you, brother"......I'm so....so proud to watch him grown to be better man than me and probaply having better life in future than our "lower" class family.

Now to other things...
Depression has let in someway go from me. Still I get some random FUCK THIS FUCK EVERYTHING! moments form time to time....however I still endure this bullshit situation I have to deal with...but also feel better most of the time. Like so what if this school/job goes to hell? I'm goddamn 21! WHy the fuck I should stress for this shit!? I do best that I can and that's it.....no more, no less.
Live the life like you fucking want! Even if you're poor it doesent matter if you are happy. Money only makes life easy, nothing more.

So some game stuff for next.
Skyrim is hellava fun! Seriusly....if rpg stuff is what you like then skyrim is a must have. ofc imho.
Been playing some wow as warrior and still going. I know warriors aint that great pvp wise but so what? Warriors are are considered as freekills for most of other class, but being a suprise "OHSHIT" maker is so worth it. XD
But sill fire mage calls my inner pyromaniac....GODDAMIT!! DX

In other stuff.
I'm looking some "safe" way to keep getting commissions done with paypal. As some you know paypal has no tolerance for pornographic stuff and some artist accounts have been banned because in paypal account names and notes had some hints like "from Wolfjizz: thanks for tenctale stuff".
So I'm thinking to send note for future clients that has their client code in there to address themself in paypal notes.
However if anybody got better ideas or such please let me know. ^^;

......................................................................
Commission status: closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1. Amethysia

---

-BlackLite-

Sigh....Really, I reached point where I actually need to go and get help from psychiatric.
Past few weeks been really depressing, I haven't felt like doing anything.....I got no motivation for anything.
School stuff's going downhill and I feel like trapped in my current situation.

I'm not normally angry person.....but I felt rage over for small silly things that I usually just shrugh off. Somethings not right. I can't figure it out on my own, goodthing even when I said I might quit school teachers felt really bad 'cause I was doing so good last year. I will see school's psychiatric next wendsday.
Funny thing I never thought I would become like this......Family and friends always said how "strong" I am and he's kinda man who "keeps going" no matter what.

I guess strong people brake too sometimes.....

......................................................................
Commission status: closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1. Amethysia

---

-BlackLite-

I'm shameless....I know. >83

1. Tentacle pron pic with full colors only 15 euro's (sorry, females or herms only ;D )
2. buy 2 lineart and get 'em with flat colors (you save 10e)

......................................................................
Commission status: OPEN
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1. SulferDragon (more work for him ^^)

---

-BlackLite-

Just letting you all know that. ^/-\^


......................................................................
Commission status: OPEN
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
2. SulferDragon (waiting for payment)

---

-BlackLite-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zxh-.....eature=related
Just got link from a friend that said "This guy seems similar to you're persona/fursona".

Not sure if the actual game going to be good, but the trailer is pure awesome! >8D

......................................................................
Commission status: OPEN
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  lilly-starchild (pinup) 90%

---

-BlackLite-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdftcvkgvJQ

Goddamit! DX<
Oh right and I need my healer/fire dealer fix naow! >8/

......................................................................
Commission status: Closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (tentacles XD) 88%
2.  lilly-starchild (pinup) 20%

---

-BlackLite-

So are my commission prices reasonable?
Sketches: 10e
Lineart/Inked: 15e
Color: 25e

Let me know what you guys/girls think about them. ^^

......................................................................
Commission status: Closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (tentacles XD) 88%
2.  lilly-starchild (pinup) 20%

---

-BlackLite-

This song currently explains very much of my current mood and how I see things around me. Eh anyway, sorry to post pointless crap XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8U9.....eature=related

this is my toothpaste moment,
oh, i'll need to flash a smile
i'll be the super-absorbent-man,
watch them flock to me in single file
and i'll need to do it with style,
i need to keep me up to date
swallowing the sun run another mile,
it's overrated how we underrate

i dance in tune with what i fear
to do adrenaline
completely rapt with what i hear
when passion colors everything
the songs i sing from way out there to deep within
the face i wear behind my grin
the price I paid for my original sin
everything, everything, everything

i have a mind for simple things,
but things are not of mind to simplify
there's always some loophole technicality
you buy into and pay until you die
money doesn't bring me joy,
it's more like a darling dead weight
and i seem to have lost my appetite,
it's underrated how we overrate

i dance entangled with my dear
she pulls my every string
completely trapped yet never here
when passion colors everything...

and when i'm finallly brought to my senses
parade the rain on my parade
before i'm back to my defenses
to watch the whole thing escalate

......................................................................
Commission status: Closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (tentacles XD) 88%
2.  lilly-starchild (pinup) 0%

---

-BlackLite-

So, do I got big plans for summer?..... actually! nope. Just get stuff done and chilling around. XD
There's few concerts I was thinking to go......buh they too pricey, unless I want to be sober and sleep in streets.(done that, not nice DX)

Random funny video(or atleast I think it is funny): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6EI.....eature=feedlik

......................................................................
Commission status: Closed
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (tentacles XD) 85%
2.  lilly-starchild (pinup) 0%

---

-BlackLite-

I gotta give them credit for improving from their "dark matter dimensions" album where they had replaced one godly singer with two other....this still makes me chuckle from time to time XD

The Unseen Empire has few catchy songs.....but I can't help but notice the "clean vocalist" not being at bar with Älvestam(original vocalist). Still I don't except him to become "like" original singer, but I hope he keeps improving with his clean vocals for better.

Here's first I heard from them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZo-.....eature=related ^^ classic

-Draining dry the very mind
All we know is what they show
Never seen - the chains that binds
Lies enslave you
Registrations that will burn our spirits hollow
Making sure the blind stays blind-

......................................................................
Commission status: Open
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (mini comic and twosome) 75%

---

-BlackLite-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kspP.....;feature=feedf just watch from 0:13

I'm confused.....I don't know wether to like this or not. 0.o FFFFFFFFFFFFF- *mind fuck*

......................................................................
Commission status: Open
Info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/767051/
......................................................................
To-do list:(in order to finish)
1.  Hyosube (mini comic and twosome) 75%

---

-BlackLite-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vg2.....eature=related

There's no need for you to attack Finland for any reason......we still gonna start shootin' ourselfs just for the heck of it XD Our greatest weapon is.....to confuse our opponents!! >8D


some translate
mä ammun sut = I shoot you
Perkele = Goddamit/Satan (yeah, that word means both in our language and is really popular swearing word)

Too bad my company didn't have crazy corporal like that. XD
But still fun times.....fun times ^^

---

-BlackLite-

Drunk tank in WoW.....not good idea.
>XD

---

-BlackLite-

Heh, I had a friend hooked me up with world of warcraft......pfft! can't stop playing it DX
I got one character for pve realm named Mazrigos, I noobaround as Blackliteart
with same name in pvp realm Stormreaver.

Except to so see WoWish fanart among finnished commissions soon! ^^

---

-BlackLite-

Last time I got chills down my spine was when I found band called Solution .45
Now their singer teamed up with death metal band called Universum.

If you're into melodic death metal with clean vocals then give this band a try ^^
So far this one is my favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnoo.....eature=related

---

-BlackLite-

• × • ALL | ABOUT | ME • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Name: Sam BlackLite
- Single or taken: single
- Sex: male
- Birthday: Sep 30
- Sign: libra
- Hair color: black
- Eye color: blue
- Height: 170cm
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?:straight
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: head&shoulders
- What are you listening to right now?: solution .45
- Who is the last person that called you?: brother
- How many buddies are online right now?: I don't know....DX
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Animals: felines, wolf
- Color: black
- Drink: vodka
- Element: fire
- Food: noodles
- Game: either fps or rpg
- Movie: all the same
- Song: too many to name
- Subjects in school: busniss(all the shit that they need, can't remember all) pc support, www-programming
- T.V. Series:I haven't watched tv for a looong timeh
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: My ex-girlfriend
- Smoked?: Yes
- Bungee jumped?: no
- Made yourself throw up?: nope
- Skinny dipped?: D8 ?!?!?!?!
- Ever been in love?: Perhaps...
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Isn't better get crazy >8D
- Pictured your crush naked?: .....I'mma damned artist! I can draw it! XD
- Actually seen your crush naked?: Let's see......does picking up girl in bar and then having one night with her as a yes?? X3
- Cried when someone died?: Ofcourse....but my father teached to me that man can cry, but it's silent....
- Lied: who? me?? well I never-....!! *evilgrin*
- Fallen for your best friend?: oh nonoonnono no nope....
- Used someone?: Never
- Done something you regret?: ah....nothing so far ^^
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • C U R R E N T • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: black jeans with shirt
- Desktop picture: I'mma pervert @///@
- CD in player: slipknot
- DVD in player: nope
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: bad or good touch? XD
- Hugged: friend
- You kissed: eheh I can't remember her name....^^;
- You IMed: lol whut??
- Talk to online: Client
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • A R E | Y O U • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: Yes
- Open-minded?: yes
- Arrogant?: sometimes
- Insecure?: nope, whole opposite >8)
- Random?: derp??
- Hungry?: not now
- Smart?: I can haz smartz naow??
- Moody?: Sometimes yeah......espacially if I don't have mah cigar!!!!
- Organized?: hell no....you see mah house, feels like treasure hunting sometimes.
- Shy?: nah, I like to start talking with other persons.
- Difficult?: understanding my methods and reasons for certain actions maybe....
- Bored easily?: nope, give me paper and pencil..
- Entertained easily?: lol yeah ^^
- Obsessed?: I don't think so.....hey you! don't touch mah coffeee!!! don't touch it dammit!!!
- Lazy?: all the time, I need people to kick my ass to get shit done ^^;
- Angry?: not right now ^^
- Happy?: You're stoopid
- Hyper?: give me mah coffee >8D
- Trusting?: not easily.
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • R A N D O M • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning I: 8D wake
- Love is: emotion 'causing both weakness and strenght....
- I dream about: to wander around in world without limits
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: dem boo-! lol you thought I was gonna say that! XD more like the whole package ^^
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • W H O • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: peopl around me.....and pretty much everything when I go nutz XD
- Makes you smile: happiness
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: you perv XP
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: nope, should I??
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: no
- Wish you were younger?: nope
- Cry because someone said something to you?: nope
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • N U M B E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: one time....
- Of guys I've kissed: zero
- Of girls I've kissed: Don't ask something so difficult to answer!! I can't remember!!! DX<
- Of Cd's I own: about 50
- Of scars on my body: umm none.

Well nice......I just scanned about 18 pics with my scanner. That like record for me XD

First things first. I thank you all (once again) for helping me out when I needed it most, you guys/girls rock! :D
Most of the work for you guys are complete and I'll be uploading them today when I get out of school.

What has keep me from being more active in art is IRL projects I have been assinged to. Creating websites and shape desings(tribals and other shit) for t-shirts.
Finally my financial status is okay, I got things sorted out and now I have "decent" income that is more than enough for student ;D.

Now then, lets get to less serius stuff shall we?
Would you people prefer a goddamn sketch flood or few sketch in day/half day?
I got interested in MMO gaming thanks to certain girl (you know who you are you sly girl ;D) and been having fun in Runes of Magic.
Also had chance to pre-order The Brink game that is only game beside BFBC2 that has gotten me hyped up ever! >XD

---

-BlackLite-

I hate to admit it but I have money problems.

Due to mistakes from support paperwork for that should have got me enough money to pay my bills and food, I only get enough to pay bills but not the food.
It's a thing that people who doesn't have any steady income have to send to get just enough money to bill and food. Next time I get to send it again in 2 months.

So far I have been managing to stay healty for 1 month and 2 weeks. being a student is not easy to find job. Most of the jobs don't accept you without higher education.

I also have to thank my family for all the help they have been offering. But I know they got barely enough money for themselves....

Because all of this I'm asking donations in exchange for sketches.
I'm not sure how I should handle this....but bigger donation gets more sketches for you, right?
Any suggestions for this are really apreciated.

I think that sketches start from 4 euro and above that.
Even though this is really hard times for me, I still don't draw any gay related stuff or extreme fetishes like vore,scat and so on.

My paypal is cssi @ suomi24.fi (without the spaces)
if you wish to get sketches remember to tell who you are at paypal message.

Every little donations helps a lot.Even if you send half dollar/euro I thank you very much for help.

---

-BlackLite-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B36B.....eature=feedlik

This video descripes it so accurate XD

---

-BlackLite-

Okay, we all know all the sh** about kids/people chatting the hell outta with "noob camper" "camper" "get skill" "l2p" and all the other meaningless words kids come up with.

But have anyone actually ever thought that there might be a thing called good camper?
So now I hope that nobody comes screaming at me noob or camper. But people saying that when holding vital chokepoint in objective game(like domination mw2) when our team main thing is to keep the points captured for our team......

That we should leave that place and let enemy get points or just run around in open area and scream from our lungs out; "SHOOT ME! I'M HERE SHOOT ME PLEASE!"

That just sounds very ridiculous....And I mean nobody in my team stayed in one place for more thatn few minutes to make sure that area was clear, and they were not like glued to the corner of room or something.

There's the bad camping example.......a player sitting on a corner like taking a sh** and waiting for someone to interupt them just aiming that doorway. Well that is bad, but all the whining 'bout them is everything else but necessary(except if you tell you're teammates that there is a enemy at that place......which never happens). disposing them is also easy if you just might use that little thing between you're ears. Xd

Now the grand finale....if you read this whole ramble of mine, I gotta congratulate you for you're patience! XD
They question of day is: Do you think that holding a chokepoint, that could be possible but hard to break, is a bad thing?
Honest tought's and answers are really welcome! ;D

---

-BlackLite-

Newest Simpson episode just made my day! There's Finlands own A-team. XD lol


Nothing more to add.....carry on, on whatever you're carrying.

---

-BlackLite-

Okay working some inks for  Hyosube commish.

Adult stuff look at you're own risk.
http://www.livestream.com/blacklite.....orner?t=441448

---

-BlackLite-

....best random comment I have so far heard while playing L4D2!!

Anyhow, I been sucked in world of modding the game exprience. I really like how much stuff there is for Fallout new vegas and Dragon age origins....

So I gotta ask what are you're recommended Mods for Fallout NW and DragonAge??

I stole this from  digital-maesma

"Few people are man/woman enough to openly answer any and all questions thrown at them. Are you? Prove it. Copy/Paste this as a new journal entry and answer every question you get.
The rules are simple:

-You must answer every question you get no matter what it's about, and you must do so honestly
-There are no questions that can not be asked as long as they are within reason. They can be personal, about oc's, and every thing in between. Nothing Illegal."

Feel free to ask anything! I'm not self-absorbed enough to think that people are just dying to know certain things about me or my ocs though so lets make it a little more interesting! Introduce yourself if we don't know each other already, and I'll ask you something :)

---

Little piece of my mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rJ0.....eature=related

Well all is good and that stuff.....gotta again go a goddamn paperwar to be able to live in my home for another half year.
I guess I'm aiming more of painting style colors for my work.....I did some funky stuff with art program called alchemy, they were nothing special, just goofyn with vectors.

Btw, is there any other art program like Sai out for free?? I guess I keep it still for inking........

As for school....we're really now starting to get in computer.....over 95% time in week we spend with computers. got some good component and repairing study aswell website structure and coding. Mah head went spinning after trying to make any sense of FA's web code XD

For gaming I think it's really just helarius how serius some people take the game.....I see I don't care so much anymore K/D ratio and all other small things. Like I laughed my ass off when I was killed by someone in Black Ops and see that killcam and that player was not even aiming at me and was just going to shoot at someone else when I rush around corner just when he pulls the trigger and I was like derp.

It happened so fast I think he was like "oh shit! 0.o did I just kill someone?" lol

---

-Blacklite-