So!
Um, hi... it’s been a while...

I don’t know where to begin, but I’ll try my best.

Firstly, I have missed FA and you all SO FREAKING MUCH!
The last decade I’ve been battling with insane pain from the brain surgery I had in 2010
It made it near impossible to do art and every time I would keep pushing myself, I’d get more and more frustrated and just, disheartened.

So I concentrated on my dance studies (coming up on 20 years in dance now 😱
And I’ll happily share my insta if anyone wishes to see what I’ve been up to in that area)
And then lo and behold in 2019 I got an anomalous MRI 😬fek
My AVM has regrown to the exact same size it was (4cm) and it brought a friend! A fistula!
So back under the knife, saw and Mellon Baller again. September 16th 2019....
Turned out I had a screw in the wrong place from the first surgery that was pinning down a nerve. Once that was removed, no more pain issues 🙄🙃🤷🏻‍♀️

Here we are a year later.
I’d love to say it’s been a healing year but that’s just not what 2020 is about.

We lost our baby Nahmbo to heart disease 2 months ago.

This shit is hard.


However, through  Juindalo unconditional love and support, as well as those of new Friends just coming into this amazing world.  shellyphish
I am now able to do art again and come back!!!
I will be posting some doodles soon that I’ve done over the last year or so then hopefully be back up and creating art again!

I am so glad to honestly be back this time. I’ve been trying for so long.

Love to you all 💜💜💜💜💜

~LysetteBlu

Hello All,

As many of you know (and if you don't you will now) My Husband  Juindalo and I live in Florida.
We are on the west coast just above Tampa/ The bay Area.

We are VERY lucky in that the home we purchased a year ago is actually in one of the last evacuation zones, meaning that we are in a non flood and non evacuation zone. We Are near a beach (ish) but the area we are in is one of the higher areas in our county. The schools used as shelters are actually a little lower then we are, so we are going to ride it out and hope for the best.
We are prepared, and it seems likely that we are going to lose power at the very least. We noticed in our first year in our home that we lose power here more frequently then we did at our old place.
Speaking of, that apartment complex is going to be probably underwater, which sucks as we still have quite a few friends that still live there.
We have many friends and My parents that live here in Florida. Friends in Jacksonville, South Florida, Naples, Orlando, all over.
We have many friends that are either from Puerto Rico and still have family there that they are very worried about as are we.

We have all of our supplies and emergency everything all ready to go. Juindalo will be posting updates for his streamers and watchers on twitter ( Juindalo on twitter if you haven't followed him already) on how we're holding up so that you all don't worry too much.

Thank you for your understanding while we weather this insane storm.

~Lysette

So! Yeah!
I know I know I keep talking about coming back, and here I sit on my brand new computer with my brand new tablet about to create a poster for said movie, so I think it's safe to say that this time I am actually back!

So! The movie, wow..I can't even.

It's called Triptych; The Journey Through Cancer WATER the resolution.

It;s a trilogy created by the brilliant mind of Jennifer Faust about how cancer effects us and those around us. As a trilogy of DUST, BLOOD and WATER. Dust being the beginning, the body, that horrifying call that one revives telling them they have cancer.
Blood Being the battle, the fight that goes on inside the body as we try and remove this awful thing from ourselves. The fight to keep going, against illness and staring death in the face without flinching.
Water (the movie I will be in) is the resolution. The calming of recovery or the release of death.

These movies are very artistic and driven by music and dance more then dialog. I guess technically they are Indy Short Films.
Below I have the link to DUST
Please take a moment and watch it. It is a really wonderful piece of art.

nGyYMn8UiVA]DUST


Here is a teaser/trailer for BLOOD as well as the interview series of the different characters. The costuming in this is out of this world amazing, and I am so stoked to be seeing what I will be wearing in Water.


Also attached is the link to their GoFundMe page. because like all works of art, it ain't cheap.

https://www.gofundme.com/f3srdr7g

If things go well with my reemergence in art I will host a live stream and do drawings to help raise money for this amazing cause.

So I hope you enjoy the movie DUST, as well as all the amazing things you can see form Blood. And if you are so inclined, PLEASE share!!!! I know money is tight, and of course donations are most welcome, but even just spreading the word and getting it out there as much as possible helps so much. Every little bit helps!
Filming will be in April 2018 for WATER and yup! I'll be heading out to California for the shoot! I'm so stoked! Got a week of 8 hours days in crazy costumes and lots of water everywhere, as well as some VERY awesome dancers (I will try not to fangirl too hard but DAMN!)

This is one of the most challenging things I will do in my life, and I couldn't be more excited and grateful for this opportunity.
A lot of you have followed me these past what, almost 10 years? You all know the crazy shit that I have been through. This is SUCH a blessing. Especially after 2015 where there were all the deaths in my family.
But things are really moving forward now. We have been in our home for almost a year now, been married for almost 2 years, and been a couple for 8 years. I am dancing a couple of times a week, studying with my mentors in dance, as well as yes finally getting back to art!!!! I drew some stuff today and hopefully I will have a little something to post later!
Juindalo will be getting me all set up to start streaming again via Picardo, so that'll be fun :D
Oh! And Juindalo will be part of the movie too! Not on screen per-say, but doing camera work of interviews for the cast about their journeys (see the Behind the scenes of BLOOD, that's what he will be doing for WATER)

Hello All!
Wow, it's..been a while to say the least. I know a lot of you have sort of kept up with what's been going on through  juindalo
But for those that haven't, I'll just do a short list DL;DR

1-Got married
2-Grandmother died (1 month later)
3-Dad died in march (right after his 60th birthday. And from the same thing I had brain surgery for 5, almost 6 years ago) also it was 6 months after Juindalo and I got married.
4-Craziness ensues
5-Started my Hot Pot ITS (improvisational Tribal Style) Training, got to Level 2, and am on my way to being certified as a teacher
6-Lost a good friend of mine to utter betrayal
7-bought a house
8-Celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary in a few days.

All caught up? Cool.

As you can see, the last year has been, well, yeah, no words to describe it fully. BUT as you can see in there, me and juindalo are now officially home owners, and you know what that means? MY OWN STUDIO!!! (/guest room)
So I have my computer and tablet ALl set up and ready to go, and I have a place of my own to dance and teach (Mmmm Bamboo wood floors feels soooo good on mah feets!)

I need to get a new internet wifi thingy, but after that I will be getting into some drawing again. Juindalo and I have a fun thing we've set up and we will share that with you and take votes etc.
I think I will be doing some free pieces as I get my art legs under me again, so that'll be cool.
It's been a LONG road back to a place where I can do art again. I have missed it more then words to say, and yes I have a lot of emotional shit to work through, and that will effect my art as to it's subject matter, but I hope it will still be enjoyable to you all.

I've got a good long road ahead of me still, but there is the light of new possibilities in that road now. It's still so very hard, and I hurt very badly inside. I miss my dad, and I've honestly been running from one disaster to another and Juindalo and I never even got a honeymoon or ANYTHING pertaining to just getting married. So who knows, maybe this year can be our "do over"
I did it for my 30th birthday!
(I had the flu on my 30th, so this year my friends threw me a 30+tax party to make up for it, it was super fun!)
So maybe we can do the same thing with our marriage thingy. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up on the 10th of October. And yes I will post a pic of me in my gorgeous wedding gown :D I look like a princess and I WILL be wearing my dress all day on the 10th!

Thanks again to you all for being here, and I hope seeing my return has made you all happy to see me again.
I'll be back in action and posting new arts before you know it!

Hello All~
I Know it's been a while since I was on here.
The last 6 months specifically have been devoted to FINALLY planning And My Wedding!
It will be This Saturday (10-10-2015) and we are just so beyond happy/excited

I know the last year or so I have been really, well, not around. I have been healing since I had the RFA procedure last November to finally free me of a lot of the residual nerve damage from the brain surgery back in 2010.

Juindalo and I have been together for 6 years, and have been engaged for 5. We have tried to tie the knot 3 times now, and well, like they say 3rd times the charm!
The other times we stopped before much planning could take root due to medical and personal stuff that came up.
But now is the time.
I could not be more grateful and humbled by all this.
I met Juindalo on this site about 6 years ago, and it forever changed my life.
I have my love, I have happiness, for the first time in my life (Literally, there's a whole brain thing involved, long story)
But I get to marry the person I truly love and that is a gift. This site is a gift for creating a place for two such souls as ourselves to have crossed and begin a life together.
I thank all of you for your support and caring over the years, and of course your understanding too as I struggled through the brain surgery, and then all the rest that came after.
I will most Definitely be getting back into art again very soon and I am excited to do so, as well as having some new things to offer.

Thank you all, and I will gladly post some pictures after the wedding for you all to enjoy if you so wish to see them.

Hopefully by the beginning of 2016 I will be back doing art full time again and I can once again come back home to FA, the place where I found myself, friends, and ultimately my true love and soon to be Husband <3<3<3


~Lysette

(Also feel free to pop over to Juindalo's page and wish him happy good things too!!

Yesterday morning my grandfather passed away.
He has been having a bit of a hard time for a little less then a year now. I believe I wrote a journal about it when he first started having issues last year. IDK.

It's been really crazy the last 24 hours, and obviously hard.

I Grew up living next door to my grandparents. My dad still lives next door to them. So we were close.

It's..idk...
There are a lot of good memories, and he was a fire fighter, met JFK, helped during the MLK riots, then became a travel tour guide and went all over the world. He also did these insane Christmas displays with things he created to look like Disney characters and all sortsa stuff. Even had Bugs Bunny in a helicopter on the roof (I'm serious, I'll post pics when I get them)
He brought Santa Clause in 3 nights during the Christmas season. On a fire truck no less! So that all the children in the community could see him. He did it for free and most people remember him for that. He was 85 years old. And leaves behind his wife of 65 years, my grandmother. She had a stroke about 2 years ago. So IDK if she will start to get better, or deteriorate and perhaps pass on herself...I just don't know.

Sadly he was also severely abusive. To me, my dad, my aunt, cousins, etc. Most of the really bad stuff has only been in the last few years. IDK. I don't want to say anything bad about him. Especially not so soon after he's passed. It's difficult to say the least. He has hurt my dad and Aunt and Cousin SO much. I haven't been back to Virginia for about 5-6 years, so aside from FB pictures, he hasn't seen me much. Though we do...did talk on the phone.
The last call I got from him was on my 30th Birthday last month when I had the flu.
I have the last gift I will ever get from him sitting right next to me right now.

So basically things are crazy hectic right now. We don't know when the funeral will be yet, and I will most likely need to go back to Virginia for it (I live in Florida)
I was hoping to have some of these done before valentines day (the free art) But I just don't know.
I will keep working on it until everyone who is on the current list has their art. Just please understand that I am completely overwhelmed at the moment. I have no less then 4 Dr's appointments this week and I'm also supposed to be Belly Dancing with a troupe at the State Faire on Sunday. So even if I don't have to go to the funeral this weekend, I'm still completely swamped.

I'm hoping working on the art will help get my mind off of things. I have a few of your lovie pieces sketched, and I'm hoping to do some line art and maybe some color today.

So just letting you all know what's going on. I didn't forget about you guys, I promise.

I'll post again when I have a more clear idea of what's going on, and maybe post some WIPs of what I have so far.

TL;DR I'm doing free couple's busts to get back in the groove of things. As long as this journal doesn't say "Closed" I am accepting anyone. Just post a link of you and your mate's ref, and anything you all like/enjoy together.

So, I know I've been gone on and off a LOT this past year. It's hard to explain and the explanation is long and complicated, but TL;DR things have been rough.

I'd like to try (again) to get back into art. I've had an AWFUL art block sort of thing going on that has effected not just my art here but as a dancer as well. I WILL be dancing at the Florida State Fair with some other lovely ladies and I'm stoked about that. But I don't know what's in the cards for me after dance wise. We shall see I suppose.

So on to the art.
I would like to start doing art and eventually commissions again (as well as finishing SUPER backlogged stuff)
So since I'm not quite in the swing of things yet, I think I would like to offer to do a couple FREE couples bust/icon commissions.
It would be you and your mate in a big heart, touching noses or something equally cute. If you're cool with artistic freedom on this.
These will be full color, and I'm not sure if line art in color or painted, or something new. I guess we'll see where my artistic muses take me.

So if you would like to participate, please let me know and post a link to your ref sheet and the ref sheet of your mate.

Also if you have any ideas for cutesy stuff, or if there is something special you and your mate do together (ex eating sushi, playing a sport or video game) Let me know and I will incorporate that into the picture.

I'm not sure how many of these I'm going to take, That totally depends on how things go.

So I'll get started and see what the turn around time for one of these are and then I can guesstimate the average time for one to be completed. I WILL be trying to do these in one sitting so as to heighten the chances of me, ya know ACTUALLY completing stuff.

So , Thanks in advance for helping me get my lost and very missed MoJo back :D

1-  Jinxy_Falina
2- Nelizar
3- Halfelfaedyn
4- Jaeson
5- shane
6- Hellkiller777
7- tohru9906
8- sayokokoko
9- Dawnchu
10-
(these are just starting off for now, I may add more later, but I'm trying to keep things realistic here. And if the number slots are full don't fret! I may wait until they are completed before I add more, but until this journal says "Closed" I'll keep doing them)

So..yeah, as you all might have noticed I keep doing the disappearing, reappearing act lately.
I'm trying to get my shit together.
It's going...well..it's going.
On the 21st and 22nd I past my 5 year post op anniversaries. Wow. I seriously can't believe it's been 5 years already.
So, I am getting the 1st of 2 procedures to eventually burn my occipital nerves and thus NO MORE PAIN!
It was originally just one procedure but the Drs suck so I have to get a nerve block (shots) first on Tuesday the 28th
Then I can schedule the RFA (Radial Frequency Burn) Which I will have done at the surgical center, be put under IV sedation and then BIG needles go in the back of ma head and burn the FUCK out of my occipital nerve groupings (both sides)
I'm hoping to get that done on the 30th. Once I have recovered I can FINALLY get off of the pain medications, and take some herbal supplements that I couldn't before which will A-help clean up my liver from all the Tylenol, and B-help my OCD and anxiety things a bit. So I am expecting and hoping for good things after this procedure. (Some super secret special new will be announced on Christmas concerning future good stuff;))
Though, sadly yes, that means not much of a Halloween for me, BUT I DID have a supremely kick ass time at the Sugar Rush Dance Experiment FREAK SHOW on the 15th.
We even had our own 6ft something Dominatrix MC with riding crop. Oh yeah it was THAT kinda show.
I appeared as the Jackalope (Well half-a-lope actually, sans facial prosthetic, but still had ears and tail)
And I did a roulette piece.
Basically I go up on stage and the lovely ladies who run the event (Whom I danced with as part of the Sugar Rush Dance Syndicate) Have a list of random and weird songs that they just randomly pick from. So I don't know what I'll be dancing to until the music starts. I've attached that video because it was just too fucking perfect of a song and I had a BLAST!
I was on stage a total of 4 times.
Opening the show with the Syndicate
My Roulette Solo
Helping Sultan Fuego, the Human Blockhead bend a #3 Rebar (Yes we had actual freak show/side show performers, and a Gothic mermaid!)
And then closed out the show with my fellow dancers in an ATS piece to Ghostbusters.
All those fun videos can be found here.

So yeah! I sadly missed the flash mob, (Boo migraine) BUT I made up for it at Sugar Rush.
I am going to try like hell to get on here more. I miss doing art and talking to all of you. I am hoping to stream again, and add a actual camera of moi along with my drawing (Juindalo is setting it up for me)

SO things are rough, yeah, but I'm still keeping on keeping on ya know?
Once I am fully 100% squared away I will be getting out the Ol' Commissions folder and contacting those I still owe art to. I'll show you what I have, and happily finish it, or start something new, or if needed give a refund. I just want to thank you all for being so patient. Last year was super hard, and though this year is MUCH better, it's still a challenge.
So! Without Further Adieu! VIDEOS!

Opening Piece


Jackalope Roulette


Ghostbusters ATS

Was Juin and My 5 year Anniversary!
It's hard to believe we've been together this long already!

So, as you may have noticed I took another short hiatus...Got a kidney infection..joy..
But I'm back now and am at the tablet happily coloring away at the pieces I have in my "To Do" pile.
Once I finish these, I will go ahead and contact those I still owe art to from forever ago, get those finally finished, and I WILL be opening back up for commissions again!
It'll probably take about a month to be fully back up to speed, but I'm hoping to do a couple of streams, and maybe some little $5 busts or fun things here and there.

So by the beginning of Fall I should be back to where I was a year ago!

2013 was a bitch of a year and I've had to fix myself, stuff with Juin and I, and then get my art back together. There were a lot of little pieces of things here and there and they are finally in order!
So yay!
And Hey! on streams I WILL have a live feed cam showing your's truly, and since I have a kitty perch next to me, you may get to spot a roaming Nahmbo!

Oh another thing. KITTENS!
We are currently fostering 4 little baby kittens! They are now about 12 days old and SO cute!
our neighbor, Juin and I are Fostering, it's a lot of work, but has a HUGE cuteness payoff!
Here's a video, I'll post pics a little later on.


This was the day after we found them. So a week ago. We think they were about 5 days old. Their eyes were not open (they are now) and they still had little bits of umbilical cord.
There are 3 girls and a boy. The boy is the biggest and the runt is a little girl, and a LOUD little girl. She kinda looks like an alien currently because her eyes are open and they are HUGE for her little face LOL!
So they are all a LOT bigger now. I need a new video!

So Since I've been out of it for a while and I have some new watchers, I figured I would cover the bases as it were, . SO here goes.

The Essentials

Name: Lyssa
Nickname: Lady Lysette, LyLy, Schpople,
Location: Florida, USA
Age: 29
Height: 5'3 1/2"
Zodiac sign:Capriquarious (I'm on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius, and I am literally both signs. Though I only have the Capricorns tattooed on my back)
Any pets: one neurotic cat
Favorite thing about yourself: Even though I was handed a rough hand in life, I essentially get to do what I love every day of my life.
Worst habit:probably smoking....
Fun fact: I'm a Professional Belly Dancer

Identity, Sexuality & Personality

Gender identity: Female
Sexual preference: Love (aka if I fall in love with the person, then that's what I am. But seeing as I am marrying a man, I am straight...except on his birthday (or mine) and at Belly Dance conventions. hehe :3
Romantic preference: REWR!
"Kinsey Scale" score: 2 1/2
Relationship status: Engaged
Myers/Briggs type:a little bit of all of them actually
Hogwarts house: No idea

Routine

"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": Noth
Bath or shower: Shower
First thought in the morning: Ow! :(
Last thought before falling asleep at night: "OMG Cat haven't I pet you enough!"

School/Work

Do you work or are you a student:Technically Disabled, but I am a Dancer and Artist.
What do you do well: Teach, Put on a Show
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Married, Living in a decent house, And at LEAST certified in ONE of the big dance certification formats. Preferably Unmata, and maybe one more.

Habits (Do you…?)

Drink:Nope
Smoke: Yup
Do Drugs:Medicinally (pot)
Exercise: I dance 1 1/2-2 hours 3-5X a week
Have a go-to comfort food: It changes. But whatever it is at that moment I can;t get enough of it. Caramel is usually high on that list.
Have a nervous habit: I Talk a LOT

What is your favorite…?

Physical quality (in yourself): My Eyes
In Others: Someone who can make me laugh
Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): Oh I am a Hot mess!
Food: I've got a sweet tooth BIG time
Drink: Red Life Potion (AKA Code Red Mountain Dew)
Animal: The Household Cat
Artist/Band/Group: Various stuff
Author/Poet: Kim Harrison, Laurell K Hamilton, and a few others. I'm quite the bookworm :)
TV Show: Supernatural, Bones, American Horror Story, True Blood, Perception
Actor/Actress: I don't think I have a favorite above all.
Blogger: Dances With Fat, Heart, Gilded Serpent

I think that's it!
But if you all can think of any other questions, Feel Free to ask!

So for some fun, and to get back into the know with everyone, go ahead!
Make an assumption about me and I'll tell you whether it's true or not!
Ganked from the Almighty  silverone

So as I am getting back into the swing of things, and dusting off the ol' Tablet, I am wanting to do some like, less super intense work to get my groove back. So!
I will FOR FREE

-Color a picture either drawn by you, or commissioned (with the commissioners permission)
-Ink a piece (same as above)
-Do Both (ink and color)
-Redline/help/rework etc. a piece of your own art (ok, so say you're working on climbing that ever nebulous mountain of refining your skill, or just have some sketches or what not that you would like to be spruced up a bit, or the idea in your mind doesn't match the picture you drew. That's OK! We've all been there! I'd be happy to redline, or just straight up re-draw what you have in my style. I have done something similar with people before, example http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4357640/ (original drawn by JennyHusky, and she asked for my help to fully realize her "vision" )
Here is an example of what to expect;
Long time ago still learning
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2457646/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2169214/

More recent with better handle on my skill set
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5372237/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5367541/

and MAYBE if there is a character that jumps out at me, do a little freebie piece or two.
Like something simple, a pin up, or bust or something.

Freebies
1- foxwolf321
2- kalamadae
3- Dracius
4-
5-
(Will add more once I finish these, keep em coming, I will have a list with everyone, but these are the ones I will do first then move the list up :D)

Second Set
1-
2-
3-
4-
5-

So! Lemmie see what you have!

Ok, so in my last journal I announced I was back then...Disappear again...
Ugh!
So apparently with all that went on in June (got a thrush infection, bleck, got a tooth pulled after it broke and cracked, not fun, was on a mushy diet of sorts, got my stitches removed a day before I left for Solstice, went to Solstice, found out my 2 hour intensive with Unmata was now a super intensive designed to make us stage ready, dance 6 more hours then performed, stayed in bed and missed my last 2 workshops..sucks..came home, was home for 2 days, got a fever starting Wednesday, was in the ER Saturday, was sent home went BACK Sunday, they had to keep me, in the hospital till Wednesday, came home finished recovering AANNDD NOW I'm Back!)
Ugh!
So yeah.....
I kinda ran my body into the ground, and got this weird viral bronchitis thing...
I had to get IV steroids..that's just about as fun as it sounds..had to have my blood sugar checked and then get insulin shots since the steroids made it spike (we're talking the 320s here) Got shots to prevent blood clots in my fucking STOMACH! I STILL have bruises from that!
And was on oxygen 24/7 and got many many breathing treatments.
So what have we learned here?
I haven't the slightest..BUT super weird side effect is that I seemed to have lost like 20lbs and 3 inches(from my abdomen) O.O
Da Faq!? How did that happen?!
You all know I am an all sizes advocate, and generally don;t give a flying FUCK what people think of my body (yes words hurt, but being hurt and not giving a fuck are different..I will elaborate if you ask)
SO this should be interesting...
One of the things i was having a tizzy about at Solstice is that I was able to do this AMAZING thing, Dancing on stage not just WITH Unmata but AS Unmata, and I would come back home and TaDa! Still the same no body in this community.
People here are SOOO Clicky! and it;s ALL about looks and blah blah. You can have ZERO dance experience, but as long as you have the money for props, a shiny costume and are thin, then it doesn't mater!
While I on the other hand have 15 fucking years of dance experience and am studying my ass off (see after solstice hospital trip) I get bubkis...
So whatever. My Duet partner from the last show is into doing BIG showcases, and I have a dance date with her tomorrow. So we are gonna shake things up!


So here is me performing with Unmata. At the beginning I am the 3rd one walking in on the right (your right it would actually be stage left, I'm behind the gal with the funky cool pants)
The Duet near the end is my Lovely Friend SamiTe' (the one that dances with fire whips and such awesomeness) and Kari, one of the main members of Unmata.





This second piece (yes I literally walked off stage from the ITS and then right back on like 3 min later) Is a piece from the workshop called "Working with the Moment" Where using pantomime and just going with whatever song Amy pics, we create a choreography. She has been doing these for the last year, and every one is different. This is the FIRST time it has made it to the stage.
Unmata is knows for their epic stage shows, and with Amy out due to a severely burned hand (note,; don;t get cocky when dancing with fire you WILL get burned :/) She had to make it up SOMEHOW, so the 2 unmata workshops, the 4 hour ITS and the Moment workshop became their stage show.







This whole experience was super cool. And I have my official Unmata shirt now. So I got the tattoo, in the tattoo book, danced on stage with them, now I'm going for my certification. Woo!!
Learned lots of other nifty dancy things and I have a LOT of fun new ideas.

As far as art goes, I will be posting a journal on Monday about pieces owed, and some freebies, yes freebies I will be doing to get back into the swing of things.
And stream anyone?

So I bet you all thought I went off and left the planet or something...well, sort of, but not that extreme.
But I am officially BACK. Got the computer all set up, Tablet fired up and ready, and an EPIC story of my adventures to tell!

I am so sorry that I have been out of contact for so long. I stopped in back in February to let you all know I was still alive and what not. But things got even crazier after that, so I've been kind of tied down.

I will give a short list here of what's been going on, the nutshell version...and in the next journal I'll write a little more about each thing. I also have some videos to share, and some new artwork! I know right!

So! Here we go!

End of Last year=Sucks to the Millionth power
January=Started working on Finishing my shoulder piece (tattoo)

February= I was in the Opera Carmen on stage at a Big theater which was epic, also did a surprise dance for juin, that's in my last journal.

March=Had a LOT going on, including starting to officially move in with Juin.

April=Got in hit and run Car accident and had my back sprained. (I was hit, not the run part :P)

May=Dealing with pain from accident, and a broken and cracked tooth. Also started work on a duet dance performance

June= Had my tooth removed, and the joy of stitches, Did my duet dance performance, with the aforementioned stitches, then went down to Tribal Solstice VIII. Got to dance ON STAGE with Unmata (the troupe whom I have a tattoo of their like troupe symbol on my right shoulder, was in the tattoo book etc? yeah them) Had an awesome time. Took about 16 hours of workshops, damn near killed myself doing so due to the aforementioned sprained back and tooth removal (the tooth thing affected me more then I thought it would)

And now here I am!
So yeah, it's been kind of a crazy couple of months. Most of that time spent staring at my desk and computer and willing myself out of bed to put the damned thing together and turn it on.
The injuries from the car accident have sucked. And since it was a hit and Run, I will be going to court here soon and hopefully this crazy woman will lose her damned license!
So yeah! But seriously Dancing on Stage with Unmata was Epic as HELL. I'll write more about that and share the video.

I have missed you all SO much, and I am SO glad to be back :D

Hey..yeah....I'm back..sort of...
I fully acknowledge that I have isolated myself and kinda dropped off the planet.
I promise to take some time and write a journal tomorrow that will explain where I've been and what I've been doing.
Some of it is super awesome good, other stuff, not so much. But I'm still here...

As a token of good faith, here is the gift I gave to Juindalo for Valentines day. I planned it for 2 months and surprised him. It was perfect, so enjoy a little light hearted love and tomorrow I'll get down to the explanation of my whereabouts.

So  Herr_Aardy
is doing an awesome secret Santa project, and it sounds like a LOT of fun!

I have been in the dulldrums of art for the last well, while, and I think this is a good way to ring in 2014 is by participating inn this.
Here is the journal entry as well as the form to fill out.

The More the Merrier!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:37342575

So as many of you have noticed, I haven't been around for a while. Initially it was to teach dance and that went wonderfully, and as I was preparing for some art to begin, we had a tragedy in our Family.

My Step Father's Sister, the one he was closest to, as well as myself passed away very suddenly.
She lived with us back in Virginia for a while, and she was the only one of Dave's siblings who I ever got close to, the only one that acknowledged me at all really. She has a son just a little older then myself, and he and I were and still are good friends.
She gave me a little gold dragon stuffed animal after my brain surgery that I still cherish and sleep with every night. It is my second most prized possession.

about a week and a half ago she found out she had pancreatic cancer, and a week after that, last Thursday she went in for an MRI to see what the damage was exactly. She was in a lot of pain and anxious about the MRI so she was given a shot of morphine at the hospital, after the MRI she was still in a lot of pain and went home and took her normal dose of pain medicine and she had a heart attack. Her heart just slowed down too much, and couldn't handle the strain.
The next morning My mother called me very early and told me Martha had a heart attack and that we needed to have a family meeting of sorts since my step father needed to go up to Maryland to be there for her and her son. So Juin and I rushed over half asleep and only moments after we arrived my step dad walked in from getting the car tuned up for his drive and said his brother had called and she had died.
Just like that.
We all sort of...just broke.
I have only experienced one other death in my life and it was a long course, this suddenness was foreign to me and my mother.
I know pancreatic cancer is awful, and once they DID get the MRI processed it showed that the cancer was all through her body. It was a blessing and I know that.

So my family is going up there while I stay here and hold down the fort.
In the mean time since I will be home so much, I will get Juindalo to help me set up a streaming system like he has so you can see me as well as my artwork I am working on.
I am thinking of doing some small commissions, like little ornaments of your Fursonas. I will need 3 examples which I will do on the first stream. So I will pick 3 people at random on the stream to create little ornaments for, and I will offer them for about $10.


On another note while all this was going on I completed "His Dark Materials" (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass)
I am looking for other that have read this series to talk with. I am quite invigorated by it and it has provoked deep thought which good books do to and for me. Though I would not recommend reading it while you have just lost a loved one :/
there are parts that are difficult, but I found the books un-put-down-able.
Fascinating and the fact the author took something that we all must experience into a pivotal part of the character's journey I think was a stroke of genius.
Yes I know that there are lots of controversy with the religious connotations of this series, or the "anti-Christian" viewpoints.
But really, people are always going to say what they want, and where the topics of religion are concerned, people just sort of glaze over. If read with an open mind, then you can really see a lot of uniqueness in these books. Take your own feelings of religion out of the picture and take it for what it is, a book about a little girl on the brink of womanhood with a great journey ahead of her. What is right, what is wrong, what is worth fighting for, and what is worth giving up. What it means to grow up.


Anyway, so that is what has been going on on my end.
I will post a journal and pictures for the Ornament streams and such. And see what we can do :)

So as most of you know I am a Belly dancer, but every now and then, I bust out the Big guns, and dawn my facial prosthetic and antlers and dance as my Lysette Jackalope.
Well I did it again!
2 performances in one night! Holy Cow!

It was our annual "Haflaween" showcase, and I danced a solo number in the Hot Pot ITS style (Unmata Improvisational Tribal Style) Which BTW is hard when you can breathe normally, not being able to breathe out my nose made this quite the daring feat.


Next was something that I still can't believe came to fruition. I was FINALLY able to teach a choreography class and have my vision come to life on stage. I have been trying to do this for years and years. Put up with a lot of pain, disappointment, hurt, and bullshit to finally get to this point, and yeah it was nerve wracking to do it all and hope I COULD actually do what I set out to do.
And I did, and My Gals looked great! No it;s not like super technically perfect, but we are having fun, everyone is smiling, and that means the world to me. So here is my new student Troupe "Neon Gypsy!"



Side note, I have also been given the go ahead to try some *ahem* alternative medicine, the green kind..
I have and it helps SO much, wipes the pain away, just makes things better, but I am sorta new at this medicinal usage stuff. I don't know what strains I should be shopping for, or what to avoid like a strain that would say make my paranoia worse, or cause more mood instability. The things I am trying to correct or ease with this is #1 Pain
#2 anxiety and to a lesser extent OCD #3 Eating and sleeping
So I have some that my neighbor uses for medical reasons and it seems to be working well. If any of you have anything to add, tips, experiences etc, please do share.

So yeah, Juin is furiously editing videos as we deal with this mega bitch who got her digital copy FIRST, and then complained about the quality. What the fuck ever.
Can't please anyone I guess. ugh, drama, no fucking thank you.

So anyway I hope you all enjoy the videos and I am hoping to be getting back to some art sometime soon :D
Hope Everyone had a Fun Halloween or Samhain!

Hello all.
I know I have been absent for a while. Between teaching my Haflaween choreo, and learning my very complex solo, as well as learning the Salsa and Cha Cha with Juin in Ballroom and a host of other actually living my life kind of things, I recently hosted my best friend that I have known since High school for a week.
It was a Thursday to a Thursday (26-3/4am)
She and I knew each other in high school but were not close, we became close when we both worked at a Pet resort at the ages of 18-19 (she is exactly 3 months younger then me)
And we found out we lived on the same street and became friends.
The first thing you must know about this girl is that (at least before) she always spoke her mind. And she started standing up for me when she saw people walk all over me and I couldn't or wouldn't stand up for myself. She was noble, Loyal, kind, Funny, and though MUCH smaller then I never made me feel like "the fat friend"
She was with me during 2 of the worst times in my life, It was her house that I went to the day my grandmother died, and her and her mom who tried to help me get away from my abusive ex. She never gave up on me.
So as I moved to Florida she came with a Boyfriend, and we went to the beach and had a great time. Then I had my brain surgery. She was the first person I called after I was in recovery.
There was a year or two like the year I was getting the surgery, and maybe the year before that she didn't come down, but then in 2011 she came down around my 1 year anniversary (she always visits the last week of September/first week of October because the weather is perfect down here)
Anyway, first year she had started this downward decent by sleeping around a bit. She had recently gotten braces again in preparation for having her jaw broken in 4 places so she could change the shape of her face. Side note she has BDD and used to have Anorexia.
She wanted to drink and party and go to clubs and to beaches, and she thought I was lieing when I said if I were to drink with the medications I was on I would die. It wasn't until I had to get 3 nerve block shots on Juin's birthday that she finally understood and admitted that she didn't really understand pain and had never been around someone in pain nor been in it herself before. We worked it out and all was well.
Next year came, the surgery had started getting pushed back. This time Ben and I lived in the apartment so we could host her there instead and be all grown up and such.
She was a little better and a little worse. We had to sit her down and talk to her about the way she was saying things, that they were triggering Juin and not so nice to me. She said she was sorry and she was glad that we spoke up. We ended up having a nice time all around.
This last year, she has turned into another person.
I had some long conversations with her over the phone. One time she called she was so depressed she was suicidal and I almost had to baker act her form another freaking STATE, so I kind of knew she was going to be difficult this year, but I expected her to bitch a bit for the first day or so, then relax and have fun..I was SOOO Wrong.
She bitched, nit picked, whined, complained and insulted EVERYTHING.
She reduced me to practically nothing by insulting my weight, my hygiene, my ocd, my car, my dance class, my home, my cat, and even Juin.
She made him into her personal fucking servant. She wouldn't get up off her ass, she expected HIM to cook, place the plate on her waiting lap, and then remove it when she was done. I told him he was doing that and he stopped and then all of a sudden she was "starring" all the time.
Juin cut his fut open on a rock at the beach, and when I finally got to talk to him when they were driving home, still didn't know if he needed stitches or not, she was telling him she was "starving and hungry and wanted to eat"
He had to be like "Bitch I might be going to the ER, there are leftovers at home, not our fault when we took you to the store you got Mountain Dews and Cookies"
I was also trying to come off of a VERY difficult medication that was starting to give me parkensinian like side effects in my face, speak, arms legs, the works.
And here is my best friend, cutting down everything. She literally at one point was almost in tears because she could;t fit as well into ONE of her Bikini's and was like "you have NO idea what it;s like to try something on and not be able to fit" Seriously? Me? On a medication right now that is pushing my weight higher then it's ever been..me who is a full figured dancer...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE...SERIOUSLY!
And then the boys...
Dear god she was like a bitch in heat. ALL of my neighbors were like trolling around our apartment until we got home to spend time with her. My one neighbor the day Juin cut his foot, he came over since he used to be an EMT and a Marine, helped me patch him up (no hospital thankfully and he is almost healed BTW) He asked me if he could take my guest out. He is older (38 I think, and we are 28, so no problem) and I said sure. She had a great time and ended up sleeping over. But come to find out she didn't even give him a kiss or anything. And was showing her things to help her life and make her happy. She got bitchy because he didn't want to say goodbye to her, and it was because she said she won't trust anyone again, he even went so far in text messages to remind her who her best friend was and to be sure she was treating that person with respect before she lost me.
My step Father stood up for me, Juin stood up for me, My Mom, and my Neighbor.
My Other Neighbor who is a bit younger apparently got a kiss goodbye, and they are taking every night now.

I have literally cried almost every day over this. Parts of my disorders have gotten worse because of what she said and did to me. I hurt. Her and I share a best Friends tattoo, because up until this point, no matter what we have weathered every and any storm.
But not this time. It has already been decided by my family that she will not be allowed down next year. Everyone is furious when they hear about how badly she treated me when I went WAY out of my way to make it a nice time for her. Didn't matter what ANYONE did, she still bitched and complained.

That was probably one of the hardest weeks of my life. We even spoke about making her go home early because of her rude behavior.

Now I have one neighbor (the one that took her out) seems pissed at me, and the other that is now talking to her every day sort of either trying to get info for her since I haven;t really talked to her since, or is looking for my blessing or something, messaging me. I don't know.
I know that I am one of the few friends she has left. I know that she is also engaging in dangerous behavior i.e. sleeping with a man who is also sleeping with a different man and no condoms on either. There could be more that the guy is sleeping with male or female, and I'm sorry, gay, straight, bi, trans, you ALWAYS use protection when you are with multiple partners unless it is a long term Poly relationship and you know what's what.

I am hurt, deeply, and trying to heal. I don;t know what to do, and I feel like anything I could say to her wouldn't come out right. I know she will be having this EXTREME jaw surgery where they will break both the lower and upper jaw this year. She has never experienced severe surgery pain, or surgery in general.
I am the last friend she has left, the last true one that gives a damn...and I feel like that statement isn't even wholly true anymore.....

I don't know what to do....


This is a video my dance teacher I did workshops with, Anasma just put out from her first music single (tripple threat I know)...I basically cry every time I watch it because of the message and the beauty..I am trying to keep these feelings in my heart as I move forward from this event

So our sweet little bangle kitty Nahmbo turned two the other day (September 15th) and we shot a video of him getting his gifts.
He has gotten SO big!
Looking at videos of him from a year ago, he has grown SO much!
He really is the light of our lives Juin and Myself. And you can see he has a huge personality and loves to just be his goofy self. He is definitely the perfect cat for us and we are SO glad we brought him into our home <3



Also more updates to come soon! I just started teaching my Halloween choreo and Juin and I are talking Ballroom dance classes, Busy Busy!

First off, for those that Still have outstanding commissions with me, those will be completed BEFORE I start these. I am happy to announce that I am in a MUCH better situation that I have been in for the last year or so. I am basically completely moved in with Juindalo, and therefore have a work space that is quiet and supportive and has really helped me get back on track. It was truly a struggle with my family whom I was living with being able to get ANYTHING done. The static was ridiculous, Juindalo didn't even understand how bad it was at first, until he tried to work there with me. So things are moving forward in a much more positive direction I am happy to report :)

SO! We are finally ready to launch this awesome collaboration project to bring all of YOU some amazing new sex poses for you and your sweety/friend/neighbor/whomever!

as explained briefly HERE

 juindalo and myself are going to be offering these super fun, erotic Couple's Wing its!
The Winner from My Journal's Piece The "Cupid's Bow" is HERE
The Winner From Juindalo's Piece The "Stick Up" is HERE

These are the old school style of wing it in you don't know what you're gonna get!
As you can see from these, the poses can get pretty interesting!

So here's how it works.
We will List 4 different sections and the numbers you can choose from. I will be taking the EVEN numbers, and Juindalo will be taking the ODD numbers.

You select your number, and then we will tell you what the position is called, and the rest you will find out with the finished full color (inked and shaded) Picture!

These will be $25 a piece and are limited to 2 characters (for now there may be a couple 3 character specials)

Here are your first choices from me

Category 1
Bed Action
Numbers
2-22

Category 2
Foreplay and Oral Sex
Numbers
112-128

Category 3
Taking it to another Level
Numbers
228-244

Category 4
The Standing O
82-88

I will be taking just ONE form each category for the first batch (if there is more interest then 2 from each category)
If you are interested please comment with the category and number you would like, and once payment is received then I will post your name, and the name of the position you have picked.
Once all 4 are complete, we will list a new journal and new numbers as well as categories, we have 291 positions to choose from!
PLEASE! No peeking!
These are supposed to be fun and part of that fun is not knowing what sexy position you and your couple will be in!

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PARTNER!
That's ok! We are offering to CREATE one for you at no extra charge!
Just list the gender, And species and a color and we'll do the rest, or you can leave it up to us to go nuts!

These do NOT just have to be M/f (as you can see from my submission)
ALL genders are accepted! We can make any of these fabulous positions work no matter what equipment you have!
So let's have some fun with this!

All proceeds will be going to Juindalo's Vasectomy fund, so that we can use this book ourselves!
(A fundage gauge will be provided so you'll know what our goal is and how close we are to it)
If you have ANY questions PLEASE don't hesitate to ask!

THE WINNER WILL BE PICKED AT 9:00pm EST!

SO  Juindalo and I are going to be starting his "Vasectomy Fundraiser"
As well as I have FINALLY moved into his place enough that I have my computer set up here YAY!
That means no more static, no more interruptions, back to ART!
So we were browsing in the Sexy section of the Book Store the other day, and we came across many different "Sex Position Bibles"
From this we got an idea.
We are going to be opening up some wing its. But the OLD school kind.
Basically you will pick a number in a category. Then depending on what that number is, we will look in our trusty book and see what position you and your partner will be having the hot Seks in.
You won't know what you'll get until you get it! See fun!
Some additional Information.


Here is a Link to the actual book, you CAN take a look at the pictures if you wish, just to get an idea, but we will take down the link when we start so the positions will be a surprise.
And since we have the hard copy of the book, we will just be using it as a reference, not tracing or anything like that. Plus copying exactly wouldn't show the good stuff, and we plan to DEFINITLY show the good stuff!
-These pictures will be Fully Colored and Shaded
-The positions ARE with 2 characters, but it will be a flat rate cost instead of adding an additional fee for 2 characters (yay!)
-The book is divided into sections, so it won't be like, you pick number 24 and end up in a BDSM sex swing when you wanted something more sensual. The sections are like "Traditional" "From Behind" "Oral Sex" "Karma Sutra" "Standing" "Toys" etc.
-you MAY pick what state the sex is in, such as just starting, mid sex, Orgasm etc which will add some spice to the drawings.
-IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A SECOND CHARACTER! We will be happy to add a little extra bonus of creating a character for you to play with. We will allow basic information like species, gender, and maybe color, but the rest will be a surprise!

I will be taking the Even numbers and Juin will be taking the Odd numbers.

WE ARE ONLY CHARGING $25 FOR THESE!!!!

That is a major deal since usually with a second character in a traditional line art and full color it could be anywhere from $35-$45

So!
Now for the free stuff.
Juin and I will BOTH be doing 1 example piece a piece to give you all an idea of how this will work.
So, Pick a Number between 1-291 (Even numbers only for me please)
And then I will have Juin flip through the book, and whatever number it lands on, is the one that gets the free piece AND whatever position is on that page :D

Juin will be posting a similar journal, so you really have 2 chances to get a free piece!

Once the example piece is posted it should give you a better idea of how this works.
And we will keep taking them until all the numbers are used!


As for the outstanding commissions, I will be finishing them up today while this journal gestates, so I can get back into the swing of my art, and actually show you all what the hell I have been doing these past few months. :D

Ready!

Set!

GO!!!

Winner= Lucca_manadragon #146 Position name-"Cupid's Bow"

SO as was stated and explained in This Journal
 juindalo and I are coming to an interesting point in our lives as a couple.

I fought like a Son of a Bitch to get my IUD even GIVEN to me and put in when I was 20-21.
I finally went through every since Doctor in an OBGYN Practice as well as basically did something dangerous to prevent pregnancy that finally made them understand I was fucking serious about this.
I Literally went and bought a cervical cap online. Which as most women know you MUST be fitted and measured for. Period. Well I got it stuck and had to go to the Dr to have it removed, it was embarrassing as HELL, but also showed them I was fucking serious.
I could have damaged my cervix, or gotten a really severe pelvic infection or god knows what else with that online purchase. SO I was lucky. I have been lucky too often in my sexual life time.
I am always safe and always use precautions and as much Birth control as is necessary to prevent pregnancy. As the other journal stated, I am actually Phobic and yes it is a real phobia. Aside from that With all the medical shit I have to deal with, medication I take, and the fact that 90% of my issues ARE genetic, I wouldn't wish my medical life on my worst enemy.

That being said, I had planned on Having a Tubal Ligation, and until recently when the Fucking IUD I fought so hard for moved, that was still the plan.
I have since been told that is NOT an option. Period.
SO as my pain increases as does my paranoia, Juin has kindly offered to get a Vasectomy.
He and I have talked about this for a couple of years now, in that I have had enough surgeries and medical shit, he has no problem taking this proverbial bullet so to speak.
We are engaged to be married, we have been in a relationship for 4 years next month, and will be celebrating 3 years being engaged on Christmas if we aren't married by then (Yes we had a ceremony last year for like a hand-fasting at the beach on October 21st, so we consider ourselves already married, but we are not legally married)

Anyway, here we come to the conundrum.

Juin is getting some SERIOUS Flack for wanting a Vasectomy.
My mother is pushing to get the tubal ligation even though it is dangerous as hell and the Dr already said no, and I fucking BEGGED.
He has spoken to my step father who has had a vasectomy and is basically the only one who agrees with this decision.
Juin spoke to His Father today, and he had to go through the whole gambit of "Maybe you'll change your mind, you're still young, you don't know what you want blah blah blah" The same Bullshit I went through at 21.
Now mind you I can See this happening to a 21 year old. Male OR female, cause yes you ARE young, and even though it has ALWAYS been set in my mind, no one believes a 21 year old about shit.

I am now 28, Juin is 26, we are approaching our 30's (admittedly I'll get there before he does, but still) We are monogamous, we are engaged to be married, neither of us wants children, I am a medical nightmare in that even my Drs are like "Oh hell no" at the thought of me having kids..ALL of them, and I have a LOT of Drs.

So why the stigma?

Why are so many people reacting in such an odd way to his decision?
I mean I studied sexual sociology in college and I know the whole gender role thing. And I know that it is a sort of thing to say that guys lose their virility after a vasectomy. But there is no medical basis for that.
Hell My Step Father said that after the vasectomy was when he really started to enjoy sex MORE because he knew he was 100% safe, or as close as it got (yes eww, but still relevant)

So I ask you my friends and watchers, what do you think?

Social stigma?
Gender Roles?
Age?

If someone came to you with these stated reasons and said they were getting a vasectomy, how would you react and why?



Side note, I have been slowly but surely moving in with Juin, and by the end of the week my computer WILL be set up here, which means I can get back to art FINALLY.
I am so happy that I can finally have the space and peace to do so. I am excited to share my new ideas with you all, post these old commissions which I have spent a LOT of time on adding new things as a learn new techniques etc. And Juin and I have a special Surprise waiting for you all which will be posted next week that will be LOTS of fun!
Hey if we can't have sex for a while, then I guess Drawing it is the next best thing right!

SO as many of you remember (I hope) Last year I attended this thing called Tribal Solstice.
It is basically like a Fur Convention except with Belly Dancers LOL
Well, sort of.
We have about a week of 2-4 hour intensive workshops, then Gala shows, after parties, and fire shows etc.
This year was just as amazing as last year if not more so.
Juin was the Videographer this year so we got ALL this kick ass video, plus a front row seat for both shows, (which ran about 3 hours EACH BTW)
So yeah..WOW
I got to take a workshop wiht my First EVER Male Belly dancer. The Illustrious Frank Farinaro.
He is an absolute trip! Such an animated guy. Really cool learning form him, and hell just getting a chance to sit outside and share a smoke with him!
He is epically awesome. Video to prove

And yes he is playing 3 sets of Zills, and yes he can actually do shit crazies then stuff form the Matrix. He is awesome.

I also got to learn this AMAZING Bollywood piece from April Rose. One of the previous Members of unmata (See journal from last year with me getting that tattoo with Unmata etc)
So this was my first time doing Bollywood and MAN was it fun!
Here is the video of the choreo we all learned. Aside from one part being a little different it is exactly what we learned. From the beginning to about 1:12, but I would encourage you to watch the whole thing, as April Rose is fucking awesome, and Bollywood Tribal Fusion is just epic.


Then there is Anasma...
What to say about her. She is like. IDK, First off one of the pretties women I have ever seen. She is also SUPER strong. She taught the Wave explosion class, and the pop lock dime stop class. SO basically, waving, popping and locking, like hip Hop style. Mixed wiht a little belly dance, and then sprinkle in some Beat box. YES I CAN NOW BEATBOX!!!!
There was this really cool group called "Beatbox Guitar" there, and the one guy who beatboxes actually did ALL the music for our workshops with Anasma.
So we were waving our bodies and making our own music. REALLY cool!
Here is one of my favorite performances done by her. She is so freaking animated in all she does.


SO yeah! I also got my ass KICKED on the dance floor by a little Latin boy. No Lie. We start doing a duet together at the Kick off Party, and he danced CIRCLES around me.....
But later on he balanced a beer class on his head and danced and did these crazy tricks, then later on stage did a remix of "Be Prepared" from the Lion King, and was just ridiculously epic.
I have that video too....
So I don't feel so bad being out danced by him since he is fucking awesome. We hung out most of the weekend and he is a super sweet guy, really.

I am SO inspired and so just..wow. There are no words for the epicness of this weekend.
The best part, aside from like, not only TAKING the classes but just hanging out with the instructors and performers and such like the normal (but awesome) people they are, was I FINALLY mastered something I have been trying to do for 2 Fucking YEARS!

I am just going to attach a video, because trying to explain would be too confusing.
But thing thing about this is, the girl in the video doing this is tiny, I am NOT, so when I do this, it looks like I instantly loose 30lbs.
Basically I am sucking all of my internal organs up into my chest cavity, and that creates a suction which you can then move around all weird and alien and such.
When I first tried it AGAIN this year in Anasma's class, I was like "Ugh, I HATE fluttering this way! I can;t do it!" Then I leaned over and *suckPOP* BAM I did it, and I was like "OMG I can fucking feel it this is awesome omgomgomg!" then I had to breathe.
So yeah, got some new cool stuff for my next performance YAY!
So here that is

I know, creepy, yet cool right!?


I will post some pics and then video of probably the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my LIFE.
This one performer and his troupe (not sure what it was with all the guys this year)
Arish Lam...
Look it up.
Dude came out on a Gigantic Wooden HORSE. And had his female troupe mates looking like amazon warriors! It was INSANE! Literally the most awesome thing I have ever seen in my life.
We are editing that video today and I will share it later on. Dear lord Almighty I got chills over my entire body watching that piece!


So yeah, we are home, Juin is still struggling with the chemical inhalation, and I am trying to recover from 10 hours of workshops last week. WHEW!
Awesome but tiring!

So, I had my ultrasound the other day...and lo and behold, the problem that has been causing me pain and bleeding (lower abdominal) and a bevy of other issues....my IUD moved forward and down a bit.
UGH!
Well At least I'm lucky it didn't puncture my damned uterus!
I don't know if you all know this about me, but I have a phobia of pregnancy. The movie Alien comes to mind...Seriously. It's up there with like anyone who is afraid of heights or spiders or peanut butter, whatever, it's an actual phobia.

"Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth"

see.
So yeah, I need to get it removed asap. It still works, it's just not 99.9% anymore, we are thinking it is somewhere between 80%-75% effective at the moment.
So I asked about Tubal Ligation, and it was a no for me (the Dr specifically said he would advise against it for me considering my medical history). Too much weird medical shit, plus it's a MUCH more invasive surgery then say a vasectomy. So Juin is going to be getting snipped....
Except he never got his promotion at work to full Assistant Manager and got on the company health insurance...and he can't now because he is on a fucking nebulizer 2x a day and can't fucking BREATHE!
So yeah, a vasectomy without insurance is anywhere between $500-$750......
So, I'm not getting this IUD taken out for sheer fear of pregnancy, and I don't trust condoms 100%.....
(I'll get back to the condom thing in a moment)
So Until he has his appointment to get snipped, I just have to hope I don't accidentally sneeze or something and puncture my uterus. I am not in a SUPER large amount of danger, otherwise they would have taken-it out right then and there, but the risk of puncture is a LOT higher then it was.
I have had the IUD since I was 21, and I wasn't supposed to be having to make these kinds of decisions until I was say, 30ish, I had 2 good years left at LEAST and Juin and I had been talking about going ahead and getting the vasectomy for a while.

So that was devastating. I fought like a son of a bitch to get the damned thing so that I would be in control of my body and it's reproductive capacity.
Oh and while they were in there rooting around, a cyst WAS detected, but it was most likely ovulatory(for those that DON'T know, all women when they ovulate develop a small cyst that the egg is inside, when it ruptures is when the egg is actually in place to make a baby, I did not know this, so some women have larger cyst and can feel themselves ovulating, and others can't)
So with this information, Lucky us, Juin hasn't been able to breathe, I have been in pain, we hadn't had sex in about 5 days or so. So We dodged a HUGE Bullet there. Finding out the fucking IUD moved is a HELL of a lot better then finding a wee person in there....

So then later on the next day, wait, lemmie start back a bit.
You all know I have this weird rare genetic type of OCD Yes? Ok well if you didn't know now you do. Anyway. It has gotten a LOT worse since I had the brain surgery. More blood flow to the parts of the brain that control the crazy and all that. My type of OCD is of a Hoarding variety and we all work very hard to make sure I don't go into the bad zone (i.e take out the trash when the time is proper, dishes, food, things that would be bad to be left around. I am not too bad, it;s mostly clothes and for some reason mountain dew bottles, and Rx bottles, and weird shit I have laying around)
Anyway, we are getting our house re-appraised for refinancing. Tis a good thing. An Appraiser must come out and look at the house to make sure we aren't hiding gigantic holes and such. This is a BAD thing. This means a stranger will be going in my room and measuring and looking around......
So yeah, I basically have been working on it for bits and pieces, until the day of the actual thing. And my mother actually said to me "I will not let your damned OCD ruin my appraisal"
Nice huh..
So I went to LaLa land and somehow managed to clean my room entirely.
This would seem like a good thing, except now every time I go in there, I start getting heart palpitations and a physical panic attack. My Blood Pressure has even been higher which is REALLY odd for me. Since this is a physical reaction, I have no way of stopping it. SO I have been living with Juin basically half of last month and all of this month.
Why not move things back, well I can't fucking remember where I put anything!
I like disassociated so hard it was basically like I wasn't there when I moved things.

So I digress. I was at Juin's and my mother calls all panicked because I got a letter from a law firm for something the Alaskan chapter of the Farima dance company was doing.
It had me listed as Farima's personal assistant Director, instead of the Assistant Director of Florida. So I had to call Farima, wake her up (though why she wasn't already up at 10am on a Thursday I have no idea)
I told her what was happening, and then drove to my house, called her again and such. THEN she accuses ME of Panicking and freaking out and such. What the every holy fuck!?!?!?!?!
I just saved HER ass., and yeah, my mom shouldn't be opening my mail, as a number one, she freaked, not me. Then Farima accuses me of playing the "blame game" and causing drama and such, and suggests that perhaps it would be better if I was listed as just a dancer instead of an Assistant director...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!
Juin and I help her get her business cards done and do her ENTIRE website, create her logos, banners, new letters, as well as I help her sell her stuff, and am her emergency contact while she is in Turkey. Cause apparently any "american" who goes over there right now MUST have someone back on american soil they can e-mail if the person gets kidnapped or something. Her mother is in Iran at the moment visiting family, so I am it...WHY am I the one I have no clue, but there you go.
So basically the title I was listed under was fucking true since I was the one alerting her to this letter, and she gets bitchy with me.

I already feel like I have lost or am losing my art. I feel like in this world of dance there is no place for me. I am supposed to be doing a Persian classical Dance of the Peacock on the 18th and I have to make the entire costume from scratch AND choreo a dance. Then we are going down to Tribal Solstice for about 5 days in Ft.Lauderdale. That means gas, food, boarding costs for Nahmbo, etc etc.

I can't go to my home because I start to panic. I have the basic necessities here at Juins, but not my computer or tablet. We keep getting one bout of bad news after another and just UGH!!!!!!!!!

So...
Yeah....

I guess now to the fun part?
Condoms....
Juin and I are regaled to using back up birth control. I have used condoms in the past, but since I have had the IUD and Juin and I were both safe, we never really had to use them. We've been together for almost 4 years....
So to say it's a huge change is an understatement.
We got a variety pack of Trojan condoms. it;s got twisty ones, warming ones, the excite/intense (can't remember) and a sensations (her pleasure) ones.
There is another variety pack we saw yesterday we might try.

They're definitely different form how I remember them back when I was 17 I'll tell ya that!
It's fun, kinda. We are like back at that new exciting stage in the relationship where you first start having sex together, and it's all new and fresh and exciting.
I gotta hand it to the Condom companies though. Instead of building a better mouse trap (cause nothing in the WORLD will ever feel like real intercourse with nothing but you and your partner) So they decided to not make it feel the not the SAME, but concentrate on making it feel DIFFERENT. like make the condoms do things that the human body cannot do to up the fun of being safe.

SO what kind of condoms do you all use or like? And why?
Do you have a favorite, least favorite. Fun experience where you got your socks knocked off?
We are trying different ones currently to get some we like. I sorta like the variety pack because we don't know what kind we grab, tis a surprise for both of us and that has been fun.


So yeah. I will say that Yesterday ( Saturday the 8th) was the first good day Juin and I have had in a while. We got free ice cream on a customer appreciation day at our favorite ice cream place. I got my new (used) Nintendo DS that I bought form a friend of mine, so that can help calm the nerves and such. So things are starting to get better. Slowly but surely. So we'll see what this next week holds.
I have a week to make a peacock costume and choreograph a dance, let's see if I can do it!

Oh yeah and SEX!!!!!!