http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_ath.....=relevancerank

It's only $2.00 for the kindle version what do you have to lose really?

Physical copies are going up in the coming days but thought I would post it!

Monday was the wake or viewing or whatever you wanna call it.
Tuesday was the funeral which was harsh, I was one of the pal bearers (however you spell it) carrying the casket to the grave and so forth, she meant so much to me it was the least I could do was carry her to her final rest.

Just dealing with the aftermath.

Not me but check it out: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5475159/

After much modding and various fallout and emotions that went with leaving the SL family I was enjoying, and with the rather LARGE amount of help from  sharaye we have...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7502038/

TA DA! It's me in secondlife, yeah missing my spots but it was gunna be a pain in the rump for her to mod everything and I couldn't ask her to put a stupid amount of effort in ontop of everything she already put in.

And she has already tickled me in SL to the point I went myself >:( how rude!

Oh well fun times at least in secondlife and many more to come.

EVERYBODY is freaking playing it.

God I need to find a new game lol I am hipster for games what can I say.

So the experiment, for the most part was a bust.

Unfortunately, my RL issues (by the truckload) are preventing me from really enjoying myself and taking on my SL fursona. I am not going to trouble my ex-parents on SL with my BS, I told them that unfortunately, I can't be the child they want, unfortunately. They enjoyed my company, and I enjoyed theirs. But ultimately too many relationships I have had hurt me so because I get lost in the shuffle. Even RL, many of my times hanging out with my good friends, it's guy + girl + me. Or guy1+girl1, guy2+girl2, + me. Everybody has a partner who I try to spend time with which ultimately leads me to pain.

But, on an upside, I will get to spend more time with someone who means a great deal to me,  sharaye who has, more than once, saved me from the abyss that is my own torment.

I can't have nice things unfortunately, but I can at least have 1 or 2.

So had the thought last night while sitting in my parent's house, in a month I'll be going for a physical and can start on anti-depressants. To be honest I am going to inquire into things and see if I can get that bumped up quicker as I have been having some issues.

But what really to do with my life? I am AMAZING at math, like I have taken calculus 3 times in COLLEGE and got 80, 85 and 90 some %....My professors HATED me because I could just do math in my head and they wanted to make sure I was doing the steps not cheating. Which I fully accept but if I can go from Point A to point Z without going through all the other points and get the right answer every single time, embrace it, don't stop it.

So that's a thought take a math degree which is very much possible.

But also my skill at being highly adaptable comes into question, what to do with that. Any game I play I excel at as I am adaptable. Humm not sure.

And as for the adoption thing, slow going seems like all the creepy profiles get a million views and mine which is civil, gets 0.

Anyone know any?

[The Long Story]

So when I used to play SL I had a good time was able to be decently social in a controlled environment without getting all freaked out.

I learned a lot about myself in my time on SL and left it because I got super depressed and my relationships broke down which was unfortunate. Now I am looking to come back to it and see if I can address some issues, especially with me outright ignoring my cub side.

Any spots would be great.

Going out for dinner....

WITH MY PARENTS!

/forever-alone

So I used to be into secondlife a decent amount it was my social outlet as socializing offline is really difficult for me unfortunately.

So I was watching my usual documantaries as I normally do when I am gaming/bored/whatever and it was really interesting.

http://www.1channel.ch/watch-2487903-Life-20

I highly suggest you watch it, it goes to show how secondlife is changing relationships, some for the good, some for the bad.

Had me thinking about my own relationships, I built and things I discovered about myself and other people.

It makes me want to go back and play again and instead of just playing the game as "ME" really let my character take a life on its own to really explore how my childish side wants to act and be treated.

Just random thoughts.

Comission  galaxywalker .... NOW I means it. She has awesome comission prices and you can do the age reversal thingy with me which is goofy fun and each one is very special to me.

DO IT NAO!

Got a doctor appointment next week about my depression and everything else is going wrong with me (yes I am falling to pieces)

I hit level cap in EQ for the first time in 12 years of playing the game off and on. (Progression server level cap is 60 instead of the normal....95....)

AND! My awesome uber amazing friend  galaxywalker drew THIS today! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7363790

Followup to http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7115516/ I suggest you comission her and get something like that done :P (if you wanna involve me please let me know! I usually won't say no just making sure!)

http://eqplayers.station.sony.com/n.....p;month=012012

Playing it right now, having a blast....

Going F2P....

OH

MY

GOD.

The vast majority of journals are advertisements for art (no problem that's what a lot of people do on here), or emo journals. Whaah woe is me my life is terrible I broke a NAIL. Nothing infuriates me more than people whining of attention. Sorry I have severe depression and have to deal with suicidal thoughts, which varies between miany times a day, to at least once every 3 days. Ontop of THAT, I usually have little to no energy most of the time, even doing a simple task like making FOOD becomes a large ordeal.

I don't go around flashing these around in people's faces as 1) It's annoying 2) I don't need or take pity and 3) IT'S REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING.

So from now on I think every time someone emo whines about how much their life SUCKS unless I agree or they are just trying to vent, I am going to unwatch them. Simple as that. If people don't like it oh well, if you can't make friends make enemies.

Finished it in 13 hours on normal mode. Streamed for 11 hours before darksiders crashed and killed thr stream while I ate some food.

Darksiders 2 trailer is out so yeah go watch it on steam it's awesome.

http://twitch.tv/brutalitygaming come watch!

So I am a computer tech, been thinking of offering online tech support for people at a really reasonable rate.

I was taking a look at Bestbuy's online service that offer the same kinda thing that I used to offer peple, virus and malware removal with me jumping into their computers and removing it right infront of their eyes!

http://online.geeksquad.ca/support/services

$249 BUCKS ARE YOU INSANE!? AM I A PROSTITUTE FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS!?

...

I could do the same job, better than them for $25! And STILL get paid a good amount.

I could also help people with setting up of new devices, backing up their computer blah blah blah...

Besbuy asks for 50 bucks and hour...I'd ask for like 15...

What's everybody's thoughts on this?

http://wow.joystiq.com/2012/01/10/s.....unity-missing/

and GO.

First my twitch.tv account needs some sort of awesome looking layout.

http://www.twitch.tv/brutalitygaming yeah looks boring please fix.

Second I am going to get a blog from like blogspot, or wordpress...again need something that looks pretty around the same lines as my twitch tv so they match or something.

Whoever jumps on this first may get some cash or something and you get copyrights so yo ucan advertise yourself.

KTHXIWUBU!

Playing some! Come watch and keep me entertained :) music playing!

http://www.justin.tv/brutalitygaming

**EDIT**: done for now.

Only $10 BUCKS! C'mon she's worth it guys look at the stuff she cranked out for me:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7115516 and more

COMISSION HER NAO!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3047603/

http://imgur.com/gallery/iu48G

Makes me giggle every time.