Pretty much felt fat shamed at work today, inadvertently too. I don't like my image I don't know what else to do to try and change it. I'll never be able to continue performing as I am if society keeps adopting smaller size and shape requirements..
Want to break a mirror, with my face, I don't want to look at myself anymore
I am ugly in my eyes
I am fat in my eyes
I am not able to change that to the point where the above will disappear, society just will lower the goddam bar
If society wants to take its pound of flesh...I'll cut it out for them...more if they will leave me alone

except for me of course.Mainly due remnants of a head cold that causes me painful coughing fits and runny nose (not something any body let alone a fur would want near them) but also because of my own personal stupidity and flawed personality. Stop me if you have heard this before, Technically I don't have a suit...Flare is more or less a mascot costume, everything else is a mascot costume. I rarely have the money to be able to buy supplies let alone get myself motivated to work on the costumes I actually have. I'm jealous of other peoples abilities
I also hate my body image, but of course my physical problems prevent me from working out and my limited income prevents me from eating healthy. Of course one will say "look for another job" And that's where I start laughing.

I've been noticing lately many of my days off I will have a total emotional crash in the night. I'm not surprised any more. How much my body can handle...anyone's guess

I don't know why I keep looking at kijiji, no one ships anything. Saw a few nice looking costumes available for sale in other povinces but alas none here

saw a kijiji ad for a nice looking dinosaur costume fixer upper for 200$...but seller is in Ontario...am in Newfoundland. Of course kijiji doesn't allow shipping etc....
*grumps*

humming "Sonny's dream" over and over to try and calm myself down before I do something that renders me unemployed

been thinking of doing some youtuby stuff and for videotaping in general. Anyone recommend a good entry level camera for this? Especially one I can get used form ebay as money, as usual, is tight

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/canadian-.....155947018.html The Elephant Show was one of the few shows out there (and Canadian at that) that spurred me on to want to do costume performing. Lois will be missed.

in need of a buffer zone for my savings and plus to make some room I've decided *grudgingly* to sell some of the items I've collected. ebay ID maximal10. I'm going to post a few other auctions later including some nerf guns (I already got some nerf ammo clips on auction right now)

big thing happened to me this year.... I've moved! yay, bigger place and a bigger room! Now I just need a bigger paycheque and I won't be as nervous when rents due

Been trying to help a friend of mine locate info (or youtube clips) of a french TV show he saw while on vacation in toronto. The cast wore zentai-like bodysuits with makeup and appliances there were 2 birds a dog a monkey and 2 kangaroos (a daughter and a father) for the life of me i can't generate a search to get even with a light year of finding the name of the show. Thing was I know of the show i've seen it a long time ago help!

I put 2 auctions up on ebay for nerf accessories. their item numbers are 261458263698 and 261458273090

Really wishing I could contact jim henson right now and suggest making some of the sesame street characters bigger so that their respective costumes would be bigger... Apparently at 5' 10" (and a smidge ) I am only good for cookie monster and I know this will sound bad but screw Elmo, the only other monster characters with any current development are zoe and abbey cadabby, yes I know they're female characters but to0 heck with that, I'd take that challenge!
I wanna be a sesame street monster but not one that mimics me!
*plops down with a big plate of nachos drowned in salsa and cheese *

http://vocm.com/newsarticle.asp?mn=2&ID=42696 I can ship if anyone wants it.

I picked up a redoctane DDR pad at a thrift store (couldn't help myself) Its a model PXUIGP but I was wondering if anyone had a scan of the instructions I could reference so I can properly test it out

after missing 2-3 auctions for CEc suits and getting shafted by a seller that turned around and wouldn't ship to me (I ended up sniped on the auction) i figure I'll give up trying to get a cec suit myself...at lesat until I win the lotto.

was cleaining up some of my costume ehads when I noticed one of my large jar jar heads is essentially rotted to pieces. Not sure what happened but its like the latex started to melt (the heads nowhere near direct sunlght/heat or otherwise.) Seemed like nothing in the care manual or what I read online was able to stem the damage, the other one is like the day I got it.

*sighs*

never sell anything to anyone on ebay who doesn't want to pay for a tracked shipping option.

does anyone have a scan of the instructions for Red Octane playstation 2 DDR pads? I got one at a flea market but not 100% sure if its all there. (the foam core bits are all there but I am not sure why there are 2 ports at the top near the cables

I've been mulling over the idea of trying to make handpaws of a certain disney character but I was wondering how padded the fingers are, is it just very lightly padded, is the padding at the top of the hand and the base is thinner or are the handpaws generally well padded.?

I really wonder if I am asking for trouble sometimes. I got a working intellivision and now am after its cousin the colecovison all the time doing bits and pieces of Bioshock 2 and other xbox based games. *sits knee deep in cartridges*

STOP SNOWING

So I have been putting off building a pair of paws for my clifford suit (the ones I got are mitt style and too short. I was checking up on how to make padded paws and I think I got an idea of what to do. I already have thread felt and a sewing machine now I just need the fur the foam and a pair of gloves for the base. Oh, and motivation...lately it seems that nay motivation I've had has gone out the window...but I have to change that

I am currently looking for red fur to match as close as possible to my clifford suit so i can make larger paws for him (with actual fingers) anyone out there know of a type that is a good match (its a short pile I believe) plus a place to buy it? The local stores don't carry any nor do they order that sort of fabric in.
Any ideas?

in less than 24 hours I will be rolling out of here for two weeks to spend the holidays with family. No customers, no high speed internet no extended cable. perfect in every way.
After the hell of this year (as some of you found out) I need this break