Been a year since I did anything with FA here...I guess life has had me on a rollercoaster of being busy, feeling comfortable with life and been more on Twitter and Discord and gaming and such as of late. I'll probably find the time to post art I've been meaning to drop....Eventually. So expect a bunch of art to drop in a little while.

Another b-day, another year! Ready for what comes next!

If anyone has a small discord group that plays a bit of everything in terms of games, I wouldn't mind joining....Been having some bad brushes with a group I normally hang out with that make me feel like me and my opinions are outcasted and I'm starting to outright have enough of it...I'd like to be with a group who can be open to trying everything and just accepting me as I am...

Hey folks. Its been a very long while.

But I am still very much alive so have no fear. Anyways, I'm gonna be dropping art I've commissioned over the last year or things I was gifted in the sort so expect a art drop from me.

As for what I've been up to, I mostly lurk around on Twitter, Telegram and Discord these days. A lot of the time talking with other folks and gaming and the like.

Anyhow, I'll see if I can try to be more up to date here but not quite sure how I'll go about that. Failing that y'all can find me on Twitter!

Wow...Its been awhile again. But yeah its that time again and its now my 23rd birthday! But instead of being in the sticks (referring to my previous two journals) I've been keeping my head up high since things have looked positive for me for the last month or two. I've recently managed to score a new job as a VR master for a VRCade and act as a guide for people playing escape rooms and vr games that you can normally get on Steam. I've had to get adjusted to quite a lot under a small period of time but I'd like to think its made me stronger in that sense. Having to use trains to get to work and such and I've more or less been able to explore the edges of the city more and enjoy city life just a bit more. Especially nice to have a huge choice in food for lunch too!

But yeah more or less life has been a wild wave for me but hopefully it keeps high from here because things are going well and I wouldn't have it any other way! Hopefully everyone who keeps track of my things have been doing well as well

I'm just a worthless loser who ruins positive vibes...Just the wind that blows that nobody really cares about...Fuck social bubbles and just fuck my worthless lonely life....

Just...Fuck everyone. Fuck the gaming community. Fuck this life...Fuck everything...

Its been a long while since I posted anything on FA... I suppose I've kind of lost motivation on this site one may say. But anyways, my birthday has arrived and I am now 22!

So for those wondering where the heck I've gone...Well, I've been around. Mostly on Twitter, Discord and Telegram. This year has already been a lot better than 2019 as I got HIRED again with HB Leisure but at a different work place! Plus, I scored an INCREDIBLE opportunity at the start of the year. For two days, I got to PLAY TEST FOR MOTHERFUCKING SONY. And got paid a bit at the end of it too!


Sadly can't say things have gone well with the world...Which is why its been a very monkey paw sort of year for me.


Anyways, I'll try to be more up to date on here but no promises. For now, I'mma enjoy my birthday!

This year has been a total shit show for me and been one of my most lowest years. I'm hoping this decade and year will definitely rise up for the better. I think my new year resolution will be to generally better myself in every way and look after myself a bit more. Hopefully you all have a good 2020 and things will hopefully work out.



(I really should work on coming back here more often...)

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Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year Fuck this year

...I've been scammed and just lost a lot of high value items on TF2 to a fucking trade site called Bitskins all because some fucking scum of the earth USED me to follow a bullshit process and fucking made me lose money and tried to hijack my account and now I can't get back all of my high value items....I just want to fucking end myself right now...Fuck everything this year has to offer...

Yup. I am now 21...Can't really feel happy about it though due to the events that occurred two days ago.


As you guys know, I had a breakdown previous journal....I've lost my job. The job I loved and enjoyed and the only job I ever had.


Bless my boss though, he did everything in his power to keep me but the company forced him to let me go due to the many stupid mistakes I made over the season...So if anything, I just feel like a failure for now being a college dropout and unemployed piece of crap who failed...

....Why must bad things happen to me....Especially as my birthday is in 2 days....Curse this luck and life...

This year has been nothing more than a disaster for me...So many things have been going south and my mental health has been affected horribly...

- I dropped out of college due to being overworked to the point its brought me to breaking and tears

- Returned to my job but its been mistakes after mistakes and now I'm literally about to lose my job

- I'm broke....So very broke.

I cannot remember the last time anything good has happened...I feel awful and just endlessly depressed...Nothing is going right whatsoever...

Wow...Its been a long time since I made any activity whatsoever on FA. I guess that's what happens when life hits you and you lose the drive to talk quite as much on this site...


Anyways, 2018...This year has definitely been the most monumental year for me. A LOT has happened over this year. Some things good, some things bad. But I'd say the good definitely covers the bad so here's a list of the things that happened over the course of 2018....Starting with the positives!


+ Experienced EAG for the third time and it was probably the best one I had been to yet! They had VR being showcased and I even got to try out the mothertrucking Omni Virtuix! (Its a VR treadmill for those curious. You're placed in the middle with specialised shoes with sensors that allow you to run in the direction you desire IRL and doing so also moves you in VR!)

+ It was a long search during the first months, but eventually I received an offer for an group interview from the HB Leisure company who specialise in carnival games and arcade games and they were searching for employees for one of the UK's most popular theme parks and wouldn't you know it....I GOT THE JOB! Turns out at first it wasn't entirely what I was searching for but I wasn't too bothered since it was money and experience. First day had me working for a basketball game and boy was the sun brutal that day. Definitely got a nasty case of sunburn. After a bit, I talked to my higher up about wanting to join the arcade team (since that's what I thought the job title was) a couple of days passed and I was doing a first couple of hours for more carnival games until I was called over from my boss who happily gave me news I was NOW WITH THE ARCADE TEAM. So from that moment onward, I became an arcade assistant and learned to talk and deal with people (I was a complete nervous wreck at first since I took the job faaaaaaaaar too seriously to the point even my managers were telling me to relax and not get too stressed out from making a little mistake) and in time, I grew confident with talking to people and it became a common sense to me. I also got to learn a bit more about what goes on inside of the arcade machines such as calibrating, resupplying redemption games and adding free credits (sometimes for myself when there was a moment...With permission, heh...) and I also learned to make friends during my time on the job and most importantly....It earned me money I could happily call my own hard earned cash.

+ With the cash I was earning, I could finally set down goals for what I wanted. With my first paycheck, I finally could purchase my very own PS4 after having used my brother's for so long (he moved out so I had no choice but to get my own). During the start of the year, I made it a new year resolution to earn a job and upgrade my PC with my saved money and then potentially get a VR headset afterwards....Over time, I bought parts for my PC and eventually FINALLY was able to upgrade it and I haven't been able to look back to my early days of PC gaming since with no GPU and painfully slow frames. A while afterwards...I ALSO MANAGED TO GET MYSELF A VR HEADSET TOO. I couldn't have been any happier to have both of those things in my possession.

+ Eventually I managed to graduate through my Level 2 of Game Development in college and I'm now on to the 3rd level as we speak. Which is...Quite difficult at the moment.

+ During December I got to go to a place I always heard about from my High School but never had the opportunity to go to. My brother offered to take me to a place in London that opens up during Christmas called Winter Wonderland. Its definitely not what I was expecting at all. I was expecting Christmas-y houses and attractions but instead, I find that's its a freaking HUGE carnival full of carnival styled attractions and its also one of the most busiest places I think I've ever been to. The entire place was swarming full of people.

+/- I worked diligently in my job and I'd like to think I did great but all good things do come to an end and eventually after October was my final days working as an arcade assistant and with that last day, we celebrated and once I handed in my uniform, I decided to say screw it and explore the theme park and have some great fun! Put it simply, it was a brilliant way to end the job on a good note. Plus...My boss is already confident that I'll be returning for the next season (which is March which should give me time to get Persona 5 Reloaded when it makes its move) and as we were saying farewells, I said if nothing worked out, I would return but he responded with 'I KNOW you'll be back' which funny enough...I'm beginning to think he's right.

Now on to the negatives...

- My dog, Rusty finally passed away on the same day my job came to an end. I loved him dearly but he reached an age where he was becoming more of a liability (I had to look after him in my room often since there was no where else he could go) who often peed or crapped on my floor and he just didn't seem happy anymore. On my way home from my last day on the job, I had gotten a call from my sister saying that Rusty was in very bad health and hadn't been eating and been sleeping for the entire day. (The poor thing also supposedly had a seizure during the morning) Once I got home, it looked true and he looked even worst since he started bulking out phlegm. My mother decided to stay with him for the night to ensure that if the worst happened, he'd go to sleep peacefully in her arms and the very next morning...I found out he had passed. Rusty, as much as you annoyed me during your old age...I seriously loved you and I can now be happy since he's free from his old body and can go back to his puppy like behaviour with our other passed dog Buddy. I'm sure the two are happy to be together again...Rest well, dog.

- Not long after that, another member of the family passed away. One of my uncles sadly had passed and was already in pretty bad health...Its sad because I didn't really remember him all that well when I was younger. But I honestly hope the best for him in the spiritual world.



All in all, I think 2018 made me stronger mentally and physically thanks to my job and I was able to get everything I wanted because of it. Of course, death was involved and it was expected with my dog but I had never expected it to happen the very day my job came to an end.


In conclusion, here's to a good year and here's hoping 2019 will be a more bigger monumental achievement for me! Happy new year everybody!



Side note: I'm more on Twitter if y'all wanna talk and interact with me.

Welp, it finally happened...I am now 2 decades old. Adult life basically begins here for me. I still remember when it was my 10th birthday...Time flied...Who knew I'd end up being a college student and a arcade assistant all at the same time? Not me.

Why do I even bother...Things always go south.

EDIT: The reason I'm so fucking done is because my USB flash drive broke and I'm still jobless and have no income (although I should have one but the cunts responsible for doing so have cut me off)

I had a talk with my brother and while I slightly disagree with his thoughts on the situation we both agreed to put it all behind us so all is okay now.


Also on the plus side, my job hunting has bared some fruit. Its just whether the employers will take my bait and invite me to an interview...Fingers crossed.

Remember how I said I hate people who couldn't keep their word in the last journal? It fucking happened again...This time, my brother (a fucking cunt at the moment) was being super fucking lazy and wasn't helping me out at all as I was planning for him and I to play together on my jailbroken Wii and he said he'd help out but didn't at all. Meanwhile, I was making tea for my mum and myself and letting my dog out while he sat on his fucking ass doing nothing. AND IT STAYED THAT WAY. I got mad with him and he claimed I could do it myself. Then we cursed at one another as we both got mad and THEN he gets off his ass to go down to me and be a rude fucking cunt and act like a fat bully as he pushed me and then got all my face with his nose on mine.


I am just so...FUCKING DONE WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN'T KEEP THEIR WORD.



I CAN'T SEEM TO TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE.

I hate governments, I hate my underpowered PC, I hate being broke (ALL BECAUSE OF THE FACT FUCKING SAID GOVERNMENTS HAVE STOPPED PAYING ME MY DISABILITIES EVEN AFTER HAVING REPORTED IT)



But if there's one thing I ABSOLUTELY MOTHERFUCKING HATE....IS PEOPLE WHO CAN'T KEEP THEIR WORD.


FUCK EVERYTHING.

My disability payment benefits were cancelled recently due to 'being too able' even though I am still part of the spectrum and as a student and family, my financial health isn't great at all. Now...I understand if anyone isn't interested in this but if they're willing to help me reach my goal to buying my PC parts, I would totally appreciate it.

https://ko-fi.com/E1E685RW

The additional money would also help my family out. So if you guys are willing to, would anyone be willing to buy me a coffee?

So we've finally reached an end to this new year and holy shit was this a year for me. I had plenty of life changing events as well as making some of the best milestones in my life so far...Let's list them off.


Biggest moments of 2017

- It started off with a wonderful bang when I got a message from Nintendo on December of 2016 and won special access to a Nintendo Switch Premier at Hammersmith's Eventim Apollo. I got to play the Switch before the entire world did and that alone was a huge milestone that will stay with me.

- I went out on one final trip with my School before lying my School life down to rest to go enjoy the wonderful Go Ape which resulted in ziplining, climbing and achy muscles in the aftermath

- School life had finally reached its end for me and with my chains now broken, I was free to choose whatever I wanted to do next in my life....Which was to go to college.

- I enrolled in college for a level 2 Game Development course which is ongoing now! Haven't found the perfect friends yet but the friends I currently have there already are nice.

- Went to DOZENS of places in the ways of arcade hunting. From a wonderful holiday park to a fun centre at a beach to Brighton's wonderful pier. Next year will be better!

- On the topic of Brighton, I went there on the same few days I put my school life behind me with my best friend and we had the time of our lives there.

- I got my Nintendo Switch on the final day of School.


Overall I'm sure there's more I didn't list but 2018 has plenty of room for great moments! Such as...

Objectives for 2018

- Saving up enough money for my long awaited PC upgrade!
- Go to Manchester and discover the paradise that is known as Arcade Club UK
- Complete my college course!
- If I get my upgrades for my PC, get the HTC Vive!
- ?

The rest from there will only become clear as time goes on. I hope all of you had a great year ^^

Anyone wanna come and watch me play Cuphead?

https://www.twitch.tv/maxthewicked100

If I were to start doing game streams...Would you guys come and watch?

NOTE: I'm quite the ragey gamer and also one to freakout when intense moments happen. But hopefully that won't change much.