I'm just getting rid of the previous journal entry, it has been on my main page FAR TOO LONG! D8 So, yeah... How are y'all doing? Hope everything's going okay with you guys...Been a busy, busy girl. Buuuuuuusy. x.x I'm still around, I've just been randomly lurking and trying to post new work as often as I can. I have lots of new work on the way, and hopefully I can practice some more anthro work, which I know I haven't done enough of. >.>; I have some awesome books on animals and one on animal anatomy, so I should be looking through that and see what I can come up with in the future. Wish me luck! :D

I didn't mean like the one involuntarily took in the past month. =w= So, after my sudden hiatus, I'm disturbed to find that I can barely type and I can barely draw with my tablet anymore. >.>;; Seriously, one month of absolutely no access to my own computer left me having to remember everything all over again. I keep forgetting to check my messages, I fumble when I type, my movements with the tablet pen aren't as they used to be.

Of course other than that, I did pretty well with no access to my computer. It's just having to get used to typing and drawing again that's a peeve for me. XD; What was great though was using traditional media again. For the longest time, I've been wanting to go back to pencils, watercolors, etc. Of course the problem was that I never had a moment to myself. When I work on art, I prefer to be completely alone, no matter what I'm drawing. When I was in middle school and high school, I would always draw in class when there was nothing left to do. So, someone would always be next to me or watching me from over my shoulder, and I'm sure a lot of you know people will always make stupid comments: "they're naked, they're bald, this, that, etc." At one point my classmates asked me to draw Pokemon porn...involving Pikachu. c.c I don't know about anyone else here, but that's never been my thing.

And of course, there's always that very obvious feeling when you know people around you don't approve of what you're drawing. I like to draw fantasy/scifi sometimes things of dark nature, and being in a religious household, you tend to get told to not draw those things. I mean, c'mon, how am I going to explain "Bloody Hell" to them, and why a vampire would be wearing a shirt with a cross on it? XD I don't come from an artistic family (unless you count sewing and embroidery, which is what some of my relatives do), so it's just a little hard for some to understand the meaning, the concepts behind the images we artists make. And I really don't like to be told what I can't or can't draw - nobody does.

But I'm very lucky that my dad and a couple of my relatives do understand my passion for art. They just don't understand what I draw, that's all. XD; They're my biggest supporters in my family. They know how much I want to attend art classes, and go for a professional career in something artistic - that would be a dream come true. But it's not something I can do, I have to get a job (which I've still had no luck with so far), study for a different career then get it. Maybe then, while I work there I can study art and further improve. But until then, I'll have to stick with always being on the look out for tutorials, and of course critiques.

So, anyway, not having access to my computer during my hiatus wasn't what drove me insane...it was not having the chances to work on my art, especially when I listened to music and it would inspire an image. XD So, now that I have the chance to, I can continue working on my art. And luckily my scanner works, so I can post the new Bloody Hell pages soon. For a moment there, I was worried that I'd have to draw them all over again on the computer if it didn't work... And at this time, it's not like I can just run to the store and buy a new one. XD;

Man, it's good to rant and having a chance that someone will know what I'm talking about. XD

Hey, everyone, sorry for the lack of updates this whole month. Because of a very personal situation I was left without access to the internet for a month - hell, my own computer, even. XD But, yes, I'm fine. Sorry if I worried anyone. I've been working on some new art in traditional media, including a few new pages for "Bloody Hell". It's good to be back, I missed talking with everyone I talk to online, and hope you're all doing well. It feels a little weird to be using a computer again, I've almost forgotten how to type as I normally do. >w>;; There's been a lot of adjustments in my life that I think are for the better, and life will still be hard but things will be good - if not, better. So, yeah, how have you guys been doing? :3

With the recent attack on FA, it's better to take a little extra precaution. I'm very disappointed to know that there are people actually trying to take down this site. I haven't been here for very long but I like it here. Everyone's been so nice, and I've met some cool people that I'd like to get to know more and become friends with. It disappoints me also to see so much anger, paranoia and blame being tossed around. It's very unfortunate FA was under attack, but the important thing is the site is still here, and most accounts - if not, hopefully, all of them have gone untouched and everything is okay. And hopefully with this experience, the site will be much more secure now.

And if you're the - or one of the - individual(s) responsible for these attacks, I have to say that I feel sorry for you. I do. I feel very sorry for you, because you have this hate that you're letting control you into taking these kinds of actions. I mean, really, is furry art so bothersome for you? Maybe you ran into some rotten individuals, but what community doesn't have its bad apples? But in the end, you're being far worse than what you hate because you're just punishing people who mean absolutely no harm, along with people that you do intend to punish. A lot of people are here to share/view artwork or find others like them where they won't be judged wrongly by others. Is a place that gives people that sense of community that bad?

So what if you don't like furry art? That's fine, just move along to some other place where you can look at art that you like and leave people alone. I see somethings I find...questionable in the furry art, but I'm not here to judge, and I'm not going to bash others for what they like to draw. And you know something? You're just wasting your hacking skills on trying to take down a website just because you don't like seeing Furries yiffing the hell out of each other. >_>

You could be putting those skills of yours to better use. There are people in other countries under strict, totalitarian regimes. They can't express their thoughts and feelings, especially criticizing their own governments because they'll be arrested, tortured or even killed for it. They don't have as much freedom of speech as some of us do. And they tell you what you can or can't see, even on the internet then distort the truth just to protect their status and positions of power. And by putting your skills to better use, you could actually save people's lives by finding and creating ways to help these people get information out there to the rest of the world. I think helping to take down oppressive regimes will be a far more satisfying achievement than attacking a website because you don't like what people draw. So, think about that, won't you?

So, yeah...It kind of disappoints me to hear people are leaving. It's very unfortunate FA was attacked, but it's nothing worth leaving over. That's just taking the easy route in a huff. If we really want changes to better improve this site, then the best option is to stay, gather as a group, and demand for those changes. If they don't listen to us as individuals, when we are a whole, then they have no choice but to listen.

So, done with tossing my thoughts out there. Hope you all had a good holiday. Now to wait for the new year! :3

In a nutshell, life's been pretty stressful. One of the things really bothering me right now, is the fact that I can never get anything done out of lack of motivation. This includes my art...You ever have one of those moments where you open up the image program, even open the file you're working on only to suddenly find yourself just...staring at it before going off to waste time on something else? It's been like that for me for such a long time now, and stuff is piling up. I need to get this done before it gets worse and then I'm overwhelmed with a pile of stuff to do. Even when I I do want to work on that certain project or whatever, I sometimes feel like I just don't have the energy for it. :/

I used to be a more active person, you know? >.> When I was a teenager, I had two comics that updated twice a week - and let me tell you, shit got DONE. c.c Nowadays it's amazing I even update once a month. I love working on comics, I really do. It's something I've enjoyed since I was a child. These days the most I can do is play some music loudly on my headphones and just get lost in it. Music's the only thing I can find comfort in. Of course, someone always needs my attention. c.c And no, I can't shut my door because people are just knocking anyway. I don't think most people realize that I need to be left alone when I'm like this. u.u;

I want to take a break from art, but I've got a trade and three prize drawings for winners of a contest I ran with someone on DA. So, no break for me! XD; And I do intend to get those finished as soon as possible, especially the trade because I feel so bad for taking this long to work on it, but there were things piled up before that.

About the only thing I can really find a little bit of relief on is the fact that I'm starting to catch up on my reading. About a month and a half ago, I stocked up on enough books to last me 'till past January - because, seriously, the holiday shopping period is the time of the year I avoid all shopping areas unless absolutely necessary. I really can't stand all the pushing and shoving from the Christmas shoppers, among other things. c.c And I've been reading this one book - "The Complete History of China" (YES, I am in fact a NERD XD). And every time I sat down to read it, after just a couple of pages I fall asleep. Every time. And the thing is, I don't even find it boring! >.> I love history, I love reading about it, so I don't know why I'd fall asleep every time I read this book. XD; Well, the good news is I'm almost done with it.

Is it sad that I already want to go back to the bookstore and grab some more books? I have an addiction, don't I? XD Oh, well, there could be worse addictions. :I Mmmm, boooooks... <3

Let's talk about books! 8D

So, how's everyone doing on this fine Thanksgiving day? (If you're non-American, how are you doing on this fine day/evening? XD) Life's been pretty boring, although not that boring these past two weeks. Last week I went over to my friend's house for tea, and she wanted to do mine and my other friend's nails. She did an awesome job on it, she used these little metal pans with the designs engraved on them and a rubber stamp and added flowers to some of the nails and musical notes on others...which does describe my personality a lot: I love flowers and nature, and of course music (it's hard for me to not have a pair of headphones stuck to my head XD).

It was my birthday this past Sunday...yay, 26... 8D Actually, no, that's not a good thing, booooooooo~ 8( Didn't do anything on my birthday, which is okay, at least the day was quiet. My life is so noisy, so a little silence is precious. XD Can't believe I'm 26, and it's been ten years since I was in high school just barely trying to survive the onslaught of homework and tests. XD; Although since high school, life hasn't exactly been great. But I have changed a lot since then, I wonder if anyone from high school would recognize me? Definitely not at first glance. XD I used to be the girl always in jeans and t-shirt with the big, dorky glasses and always had my hair in a braid and ponytail - which I was known for because my hair used to be loooooooooooong. XD Like...literally down to my knees. :I Now I usually like to keep it at my shoulders or shorter. XD

One thing that has not changed about me since high school and never will is that I'm either drawing or reading. This was another thing I was known for in middle school as well, but I never got in trouble for drawing in class since I always did it after I was done with my assignments and had nothing else to do.

So, yeah, other than that I'm a little screwed as far as my art's concerned. I have piles and piles of work I need to do - mostly for other people. Three contest prizes, one trade and one commission. I have a feeling I won't be done with everything until January. c.c I keep telling myself that after I wake up, have breakfast, etc. I will work on everything non-stop unless it's the stuff I have to do (like the daily job hunt)...but I never end up actually working on it. Thankfully I got a couple of sketches done...and I really need to get back to working on that second "Bloody Hell" page, it's almost finished. I really, really wanted to update my other comics too...I don't know, I guess if I squeeze them in, in between the other art. c.c But I'm sure I'll manage some how. :I

Well, that about wraps it up. Later. :B

And that's finding a job. XD I know I'm not the only one going through this either. But you know something? I don't think we can solely blame the economy for lack of jobs...We can blame employers themselves who don't seem to know how to hire people. Waaaaay too many times am I given the run around by employers, even when I know I do well at interviews. I don't get why some people don't just call you when they say they will, or tell you in some way that you're not getting the job.

The latest incident involved a douchebag manager who lied to me and my aunt, who is acquainted with him and a frequent customer. -_-; Since then, I've had at least one interview, however didn't get the job. But at least the managers from that place had the courtesy to let me know, so kudos to them for being more straightforward. I hate being left in suspense. XD I hope that the person who did get it at least needed it more than I do. I mean, I'm single and have no children, so I can only imagine the pressure and need someone that does have a family of their own is going through. Just gotta get back into the battlefield and hope I can find a job. >:I

So, art-wise, things are going pretty well. I was up 'till five this morning working on a new digital painting and then worked on it more this afternoon. XD But I think this is gonna be another one of my more unique pieces because I will be taking on another challenge I rarely ever take on: realism. But despite my lack of realism in my style, it's actually coming out very nicely and can't wait until it's done. 8D

So, as you can see I started on a comic called "Bloody Hell". I started this one just because I wanted to experiment with screentones and other things I can do to improve my comic art. This is such an impulsive project, I don't even have a script for it. ^^; But it's only meant to be a one-shot, so I don't think there's much to worry about. Although I keep coming up with more and more story - too much story that I'm kind of worried I'll turn it into a series. I've got other comics I haven't even completed the second chapters of, I don't think I can keep up with that much. ^^;; But we'll see how this turns out, I'm only trying to experiment more with the art than the story itself. However I'm still going to try to make a good story, even for a one-shot, because that's just how I roll. ;3

Later!

To lose weight, I mean. It's something I've been struggling with for years, and I know a lot of people have too. It's not easy to eat healthy with food either tasting pretty crappy or being expensive. And if you're under financial stress as well, you know how hard it can be when it's the junk food that's much cheaper. Sometimes I think food companies do this on purpose just to get the health-conscious crowd or anyone falling prey to the "obesity epidemic" fear to spend more money.

I mean, I know it's important to worry about our health and we have to make sure we take care of the future generations so they'll grow up healthy, but...this whole "obesity epidemic" thing is just complete bullshit to me. They act as if everyone in the country weighs 300 lbs. I still see a lot of people at very healthy weights. But of course, I know that's just media sensation going around since there's such a huge phobia towards overweight people. That Marie Claire article, it's nothing new...everything that woman said is basically the media's own feelings being given words. Ever notice how in most TV shows, movies and so on, when they have an overweight character that character is portrayed as dumb, slow, and only has food on their minds? They're nothing more than the comic relief while the thinner characters get to enjoy a more exciting, fast-paced life, they dress in sexy clothes and enjoy a passionate romance. I almost never see the fat character having that same life as the thinner one. Very few shows and movies seem comfortable with having characters of various body types.

But the media is one thing, that will never change. They're always going to emphasize their own distorted standards of beauty. But I think the most hurtful impact comes from people around us. What really gets me is other people bitching about those of us who are overweight. I don't see why other people should have a problem with my weight, when I'm the one that's dealing with it. If they have such a problem, why not actually help me instead of sitting there and bitching about it? What amuses me though is when people just have to point out: "you're fat" "you're so fat! Look how big you are!" as if I am completely unaware of it. XD Yes, thank you for so kindly reminding me! For a second there I actually forgot about it. :B

As for what I'm doing, I'm trying to workout more. Trying to do the basics, squats, crunches, etc - but they're not the main workout. What I find is dancing is the exercise that works for me. So I went on YouTube and found some really good ones, particularly bellydancing. *hears screams* >.> Okay, I didn't think the thought of me bellydancing would traumatize people that much. :D;; Anyway, I'd love to take classes, but dance and martial arts classes (which is another thing I want to do) are ridiculously expensive (one ninjutsu dojo wanted $80 a month, LOLWTF?). So video workouts are the next best thing. I find that I get a much better workout and I have fun too, which is what I think will work, because everything else just feels like a chore and I get so bored I stop doing it. :/

As for food, I'm not dieting - it doesn't work. I find that dieting does nothing more than starve you, which is very counterproductive. Your body needs food, if you don't eat you can't function properly. When I used to diet, I found myself eating more just to compensate for the meals I missed or didn't eat much of. So I'm just making a change in eating habits. I already cut off soda and rarely ever drink it anyway. I hear a cup of tea once a day or after every meal can help with digestion and not absorb as many calories. I'm not sure if that really works, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try; I'm a complete tea addict anyway. XD

Of course there's going to be other factors I'm going to have to fight against: stress, hormones, etc. So, anyone telling others to go on a diet...it's not as easy as you might think it is. I'm already going through plenty of stress. And of course, my own willpower, I have to try to maintain that. ^^;

So, yeah, I think I've ranted long enough. XD; Later.

Anyone? Anyone? I'm open. 8D; I'm so open for commissions, you're not going to believe it's not butter! 8I *flails arms* http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1717215/

*sparkly eyes* 8)

Will have new art soon too! I promiiiiise! :3

After months and months, I'm hoping I might have a job. I had a quick interview at a grocery store, in which I was told I would be called within a week. But I'll go ahead and poke the manager until he tells me if I get the job or not. XD Aaaaand I ended up re-applying at my old workplace...the only word I got was they might send me an "invitation" to schedule an interview for a holiday position. I have seriously mixed feelings about this...on one hand, I'll be happy to be working again - on the other hand, I mentioned previously I had some bad memories from this place, all of them from rude customers. c.c; So I can already feel a part of me dying inside. :I What I'm reeeeeaaaally hoping for is a job at a couple of bookstores. That would be fantastic. 8D

Aside from that, I've been working on new art. One new page for a comic that seriously needed an update on DA. And I'm also working on a digital painting, it's coming out so beautifully. ;u; It's a couple of firsts for me: using SAI for painting, when I've always had a hard time with coloring with it. XD And painting with the tablet. You can see me working on it on my LiveStream channel - which I will link to it next time I stream, hopefully later tonight or tomorrow night.

That's pretty much it, I didn't want to make this entry too long. XD

What gives, I thought we were supposed to be in autumn? XD I live in Southern California, and it has been brutally hot. When I go outside at 6:45 pm to walk my dogs, I want to feel a nice, cool breeze. That didn't happen. XD We're still some weeks away until the cool weather officially sets in.

So, it's nearly October, just some weeks away from Halloween. A time when I miss being a kid...dress up in costume and get two pounds of free candy - what could be better? :D But after a certain time, one has to let go of that simple joy. I know I'd just get weird looks before having the door slammed at my face. XD So...Halloween plans...anyone have any? I've been trying to find something to do around here that doesn't involve going to a party (I'm honestly not a party person...especially when I pretty much don't know anyone else). Usually, I just stay home and watch the Ghost Hunters live event - which is fun, but going out in costume and hanging out with friends is way more fun.

I've been looking around at events but it's either not interesting enough, too far, or costs more than I'd like to pay. >.> I would LOVE to host my own haunted house event, I'd go all out on the special effects and costumes...but of course, that takes money. Which I don't have...Plus when I live in a household where most of its members believe "Halloween is of teh devil omg" that's not likely to happen either. XD I even thought about applying to work for the Halloween event at Universal Studios, but when I checked out the website, apparently you have to have some sort of background in theater and know how to dance. Really? I thought people just dressed up in costumes, jumped out and shouted "BOO!". >.>

Though I'm also thinking about checking for Dia De Los Muertos events. Being in L.A there's got to be a ton of those going on. 8D I've always wanted to go to one of these kinds of events, it'd be pretty cool. :3 Yeah, you can tell I really, really like Halloween. It's the only holiday I celebrate. XD There's just something about Halloween that really gets my creativity going too. Like I said, if I could I'd have a haunted house and go all out. I really want something to do this year, all my plans seem to backfire since I can never come up with anything. XD;

Halloween! :3 *flails arms*

It's been a while since I updated on what's been going on with me lately (on my old account, at least) just thought I'd give a very long way of saying I'm still alive. So, life hasn't been exactly kind lately (is it ever kind to anyone?). I'm at a point where I'm questioning everything...like where every time I crawl into bed I just want to stay there until I'm completely forgotten about. I have not been a happy person, at all...but what can I do? All I can do is just deal with all the crap until I get my opportunity to change things.

First thing is: I need a job. Hell, everyone who doesn't have one does. I submit application after application, and the closest thing I get to a reply is the automated "thank you for applying" messages...I wish they wouldn't do that, it's a waste of time. I'm even willing to apply at my old workplace, which I hated every soul crushing moment I was there. I can't believe how rude customers can be... I wasn't even there for very long, but I have a ton of stories. Any one reading this, I have a little piece of advice: be patient and be nice to the employees of any store/restaurant/whatever, they're trying their best give good customer service; they're not anyone's personal little punching bags. The customer isn't always right.

And not to make this into a long "dammit, why me?" session, I'll move on to other things. Thankfully, despite the madness, my art seems to be the only thing I'm in control of. Although lately I feel like it's lacking something, and I have no idea as to what. So I've been trying out some new things from coloring techniques to the subject of the drawing, and so far so good. One of my interests lately is science fiction art - I love the whole cyberpunk theme, with androids, cyborgs and that's what I want to draw more.

I'm still trying to work on more anthro art, I don't know if dragon people (more human-ish features than dragon) would count. I've been working on a new design for Safiya, which has been difficult since I first drew her. She's quite the little diva, and I can almost hear her nagging at me in the back of my mind as I experiment with her design. XD

Aside from that, I'm trying to catch up on my comic projects, that I post only on DA, except for one series, "The Neurotic Musings of Dr. Brenfriz". That one, I've posted on my old account, and it's a great series, I love it. It's kind of a way for me to get all my crazy out. ^^; Though I haven't been able to update it because I've been busy with life and the other stuff. I run this series and three others - that's right, three. Two of them are my own manga-styled comics, and the other is a collaboration between myself and a friend of mine. Sometimes I think I'll never catch up to the speed I want to be at, but it doesn't hurt to try...okay, maybe it does, but I'm hopelessly stubborn. :3

Oh, and did I mention I have another one in development? Yes, I know, it's going to be a lot of work. But I'm not too concerned since we're still in the planning stages. My RP group and I have the story figured out, and I'm still working on concept art, maybe I'll post some of it here. It's going to be based on our RPG, which is a scifi/fantasy game with knights, kings, pirates, mechs and space battles. It'll be the most epic (in terms of amount of work that will be put into it) project I've ever taken on. The story itself is very alive with its cultures, politics, its characters are very detailed and so developed. And I just can't wait until the script is complete and get to drawing the pages. So for now, I'm going to be using my current two comics as practice until I figure out what art techniques I'll be comfortable with so I can keep the art more consistent, because that's a very noticeable problem in my other comics. There's months apart between each page, and each time I've improved a little bit. So I'm going to be trying to make sure that it won't be an issue when this new comic is released.

Well, that about wraps this entry up. I have a bad habit of never shutting up. ^^; Well, later, all.

Prices are final, read below for further info.

Chibi commissions:
$5 Fully CG colored with either a simple or no background. Another $5 for each additional chibi. (That includes if they're in the same image.)

Digital

Sketch:

Simple or no background:
Bust & fullbody: $5

With detailed background:
Bust and fullbody: $8

Inked:

Simple or no background:
Bust: $10
Fullbody: $12

Detailed Background:
Bust: $12
Fullbody: $15

CG Color:

Simple or no background:
Bust: $15
Fullbody: $18

With detailed background:
Bust $18
Fullbody: $25

$5 on all of them for each additional character.

Traditional
(colored pencils and watercolor - same price)

Sketch:

Simple or no background:
Bust & fullbody: $10

With detailed background:
Bust and fullbody $15

Inked (clean)

Simple or no background:
Bust & fullbody: $15

With detailed background:
Bust: $16
Fullbody: $17

Watercolor or pencil (both may be mixed if necessary)

Simple or no background
Bust: $20
Fullbody: $22

With detailed background:
Bust: $25
Fullbody: $30

$5 for each additional character. Shipping is included, and the paper is 9x12. Drawings done in pencils/inks are on regular sketch paper, and watercolors - well, obviously watercolor paper.

What I will do:

- Original/Fan characters (You must provide description or ref images. But you cannot use copyrighted images or images that are not done by you (unless it is of your character specifically). Meaning, you can't present an image of, for example, Squall from FF8 as a ref and ask his hair be changed to blue, and he'd be wearing another copyrighted character's outfit with a different color scheme.)
- Anthros
- Portaits (except celebrity portraits)
- Still life
- Pets/animals (cartoon or realistic)
- Shounen-ai
- Shoujo-ai
- Nudes (if they are tasteful and people/characters are 18+)
- Any random theme you can think of, if you want a more abstract/surreal image.

What I won't do:

Lolicon/shotacon
- Cars/other vehicles (I might do mechs, depending on how complicated)
- Hentai

Payment method
Paypal - yashiroki[at]hotmail.com

If you would like me to do a piece for you, you'll have to contact me first (either through a FA note or email me at yashiroki[at]hotmail.com with subject line 'art commission' if you don't have a FA account). We will discuss the commission, and I will keep you updated on progress if you want. I can also do gift commissions (if you want the image for someone else as a gift). If there is a specific deadline, please contact me at least three weeks before that specific date.

I will not begin working on your image until I receive payment. All I ask is that you are patient with me as I work on it. If you're too pushy, I'll stop working on the image and refund you your money. If you'd like to cancel the work you may do so as well and I will refund the money - but this must be done before the image is complete. In either case of refunding, you will not receive the image at all. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. :)

Hi, all! Just wanted to make a quick post to let people know that I'm not a new user. XD I'm just moving from and old account, http://www.furaffinity.net/user/robespierre/ , because I started to get sick of my username. I tend not to move accounts, with this new account I'm definitely here to stay.

Thank you, for any of my watchers that have decided to follow me to the new account, sorry for making you place me on your watch all over again. ^^; I plan to have more anthro art soon, the brain is finally working again. X3

I also might re-post some of my work from the old account as well, and so some of you might notice the watermark from there as well. :3