I have had a lot going on. After Yawar died my mother's health took a turn for the worse. Since then, back at the end of July, she also died. Finances are a mess, my father is a mess, my siblings in their respective homes are both struggling to make ends meet, and I am honestly just very tired. I look in FA now and then but I haven't had the energy to write anything or for that matter read anything. I nuked my submission list because I knew I was never going to get to it.

I might pick things up again at some point, but not yet. I think it's going to be a while yet before I can recover. Replies off because just... sorry. I appreciate the well wishes you all tend to leave but I don't have the energy for them right now either. Stay safe.

Hey. I just wanted to say that I haven't left. I've seen your kind words and I appreciate them, genuinely. It is just very difficult for me to come here still. Every story I wrote reminds me of Yawar. He encouraged me so much, inspired me to create more than I thought I ever could. His death left me reeling. I don't know how to go back to writing yet. But I will. I know he would want that.

yawar has passed. His sister just messaged me, as he had arranged with her in case this should happen. I have no details right now. We were talking just this morning.

At least I got to tell him I loved him. At least he knew that.

Yawar is off to the hospital again; he was always going to need more treatment, and a bed opened up so he had to rush off immediately for check in to claim it. He'll be away for at least a week. As last time, please keep him in your thoughts.

Just a heads up: yawar is still in the hospital, albeit without internet access at present. He wanted me to let you all know that he’s still kicking and still getting by. If you’ve been sending him messages and he hasn’t been able to reply, well now you know why.

Keep sending him your good vibes, huh? Thanks all <3

If you haven't downloaded your data yet, you should go do that right now just in case. Like if you want anything from there? Contacts, posts, images, etc? You should really think about going and taking care of it today. I'm not gonna be longwinded, I'm just going to say it like it is: Events like these are the kind of thing you see right before a big tech firm just collapses. I will not be surprised if Twitter as a domain just drops off the face of the internet in the coming days. Not weeks or months, like, less than a week potentially. Yes, it is possible. You don't fire this many people all at once without important things breaking, irretrievably breaking.

I've recently learned that for stories thumbnail size gets locked when the file is submitted; I can't fix them. So that sucks. I'll have to keep that in mind going forward, and make thumbnails before submitting a story. Live and learn I guess.

It was pointed out to me that some tags could be better written to work with FA's search system, so I've updated the tags on several existing stories. If any of you watching have tag suggestions as well, I'd love to hear them! Feel free to comment with any suggestions you have, and if they're for a specific story what story you're thinking of.

Also for reference I haven't gotten around to reworking the tags for the Shrink Ray branching story yet, because as implemented there's just... so many entries for that. I'll get to it eventually though.

Edit: Also, please bear with me as I try to figure out how to make consistent, decent looking thumbnails. I've seen a lot of writers here on FA put their tags right in the thumbnail, which is an idea I like... but my most recent attempt tells me I have some learning to do yet.

I've been thinking about something the pokemon series references in both the games and anime but never deals with. Or really, three things:

-Pokemon are presented as living, thinking, feeling creatures that can form friendships with humans
-Pokemon are presented as sometimes have sexual relationships with humans (no, really. You can blame bad translation if you want or jokes but if so it's a long running and oft repeated gag...)
-Pokemon are killed and used as food. Yes, explicitly, not as a one off joke.

So that makes me kinda want to write a semi-serious story dealing with all three aspects at once, giving them decent weight. As in, a story in which a trainer has been raising a pokemon, having sex with it, and ultimately when it reaches the right stage kills and eats it. But I wonder if that will feel too cruel? I feel it's all there and suits the setting, but again: they never deal with this, for obvious reasons. Making the subtext text could turn some stomachs.

I'll think about it.

I have fics I've written on other websites over the years, after some debate I've decided there's really no reason not to spread them around a bit. So over the coming days and weeks I'll be updating with more stories here and there. This will not be representative of my speed actually writing stories though, haha. All I need to do for these is give them an editing pass and make sure their formatting looks ok on FA. In any case, I hope you all enjoy my work.

Edit: Also, I've cleaned up this space a little bit. Leaving this page in disuse for literal years has left some pretty glaring digital cobwebs as it were, and to be honest some old journal entries just feel embarrassing now. Also, holy shit I talked about how great my abuser was in one of them?? Yikes. So yeah, well past time for all of that to go.

I see why people usually do fics like this in short bursts now, uploading each piece took an absolute age! But it's up, linked, and should all be correctly tagged and stuff. Hope you like it! <3