While it seems like a nice idea, I'm skeptical of using it. It uses PayPal and my gallery is not completely SFW. I think I'll stick with my Patreon and maybe setup a Ko-fi.

Still struggling with the issues caused by overnight work and the struggles of trying to sleep during the day. Even with that, I'm beginning to get back a little of my creativity. I'm drawing a bit more lately. Still hard to motivate on my days off cuz I struggle with the way my sleep patterns are disrupted. Even on days I work, it's rough dealing with the hours. My body wants to sleep at night and be up during the day.

The issue should be dealt with soon, though. I found work that will get me back on proper daytime hours. Once that starts up, I should be able to sleep a lot better and more consistently.

While I have not been pushing it, my last commission offer is still active. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9011340/
My Patreon page is also live again. https://www.patreon.com/ColdfireFox

https://www.patreon.com/ColdfireFox

I don't see much happening in or for it for a while as my drive is super low artwise still and life has other priorities in mind for me. Still, it's there and I will try to use it.

I've been in a bad funk for a while. Longest to date I'd say even. Feels a little like I'm starting to come out of it, but not quire sure enough. The new living space has been good so far, so that stress factor is gone. Others don't seem to want to diminish any though. Money issues seem to just want to grow instead, especially student loans. It's like they choose to get bigger just as I think I'm starting to reach a good balance. Getting decent sleep is proving a problem too. Working overnight has been about impossible to adjust to. It's made having the energy or mental clarity to focus decently a chore. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm considering a few options.

I've been having a hard time with trying random doodles and my own quick ideas just don't stick in my mind well enough. To be honest, what I want is to craft stories with my works. That in mind, I want to try something different.

Post a ref and a small scene idea. Maybe a song or something. Could even be an snippet from a story even. I want to see if something like that might be what I need to get my spark going again.

Not been able to do much besides work and move. The hardest part is done though. Now comes sorting through what made the trip and figuring out how to best replace what was left behind. Some things were too big to include and others were basically ruined due to other residents want to "borrow" them and not properly take care of them. Non-stick pans are not to be cleaned in a dishwashers! It often messes up the coating.

Anyone wanting to help, I'm still open for sketch commissions. It's gonna be a bit interesting posting things for a while. No net currently due to moving. I have work-arounds I can use. It just makes that a bit more of a process.

Big update. Lucked into a decent upgrade of living space for a lower cost. That should make some things a little easier soon. Downside, the initial cost is gonna make things really tight. Like worried about fuel in the car and food on my plate tight. Tax return won't be showing for a while either, though I intend to use that to take care of car issues. I'm still open for sketch work. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9011340/
I'll be trying for a faster turn-around time with every one.

I get to spend most of ot at work with pretty much no time to do anything I want at all. Bleh...

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9011340/
I'm still accepting. Slots are all clear.


I'm considering upping my coloring efforts, but I feel a bit of knowledge expansion might help first. Primarily color theory. Somes links or tips on where to look for some material would help. I've been given links before but I keep losing them due to not copying them down in a good place.

The hunt for a new apartment is going poorly. The last one that actually made it to looking at directly missed the mark. No real difference in cost and a near doubling of commute time. The last best chance has not contacted back either. It's time to accept the facts and get the final preparations for the move back I wanted to honestly avoid in motion it seems.

I have been working on more artwork and things. I just have not followed through with posting any of it. I'll try to get some things put up in the next few days. There is a bit of a backlog of things. Some of it is of my own efforts. Some is stuff I got from others that I have not shown. Much of the stuff from others was from a while ago too.

The commission offer I'm currently holding:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9011340/

The current YCH slots:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29402056/

Instructions on how to claim slots are on each.

Personal journal and a bit of a vent incoming.



This year has started with a lot in a low point. Been barely breaking even for the past several months. My job has me working overnight and it's been really rough, especially on my mind. I'm not a fully nocturnal creature by nature, even though I often am up until fairly late. It has also been leaving a void due to my want/need to use my hands to do something visible and tangible. While I had some means to work around that quirk, it has become rather impossible to do pretty much everything that was some form of building project due to space alone. There is no room to build even a simple 1/144 scale High Grade OZ-06 Leo Gunpla when nearly the whole of my living space is a single, small bedroom.

My life relationship wise has been poor since before I left my last home. Only a few months after that it basically died. My so-called wife has put no effort into anything on her end of things. No calls to see how I am. No Christmas or Birthday wishes. Only demands to know if I will pay bills or give her money. Even before leaving it felt like I had to always make her happy or cater to her wants. If I had a bad day, her's was always, somehow worse. If my day was good, she would just dump how hers was not and expected me to make it better, often with a needless purchase. Intimacy... I got more from my own hands after the first year. (Sorry if that is a bit TMI.) What really began pushing me away and making me feel used was how often I was subjected to "do you love me?" It was either was always came before asking me to buy or pay for something, often of no importance to even have, no matter what bills might be near due or came up during arguments like not giving in to her tears and screaming meant I didn't care for her at all. There were a number of times she accused me of cheating. Some of the eatly ones I took as being some insecurity from her past boyfriends that did so. The later ones I began to wonder where they came from. I was working two jobs to make ends meet before while she had none. After managing to get her to finally start working, I had to keep both jobs cuz she would spend all her pay on pointless junk or more pieces of makeup when she already had enough for 10 sets of whatever.

As things stand, I am divorced and single in all but the costly legal sense. I constantly wonder when she will decide to drop it on me or suddenly drop in on me. I'd rather just have the papers show up, sign them, and be done with it. She can go find another to feed into her delusions or just go to the guy I'm sure she'd rather have considering how she went on about him. I wasn't her desire. I was just what was settled for.

Moving on from here, I want a better living situation. As cool as my roommate is, we're both sick of the cramped space and the lazy jackass landlord. I want to like the face I see in the mirror. No more wanting to punch myself or feeling worthless. I want to make at least one of my student loans disappear this year. Get that paid off and gone. I need to get my car insured again. Tags are due this month too.

Got a few nice maybes I want to throw out there. I have a right to be selfish with the hell it feels like I'm in. I want a Swith with Smash Ultimate and Breath of the Wild. I'd love a nice Cintiq and a proper desktop. My laptop is working very well, but it's still only a laptop. I don't dare try to heavily game or consider rendering in 3D on it. I want to feel like I can have real love again. Find that girl I can love on, be truely me with, tease and have fun with, make me want to shower her with affections of all kinds. Show my works to without worry of being overly judged if I happen to be sketching some busty female in any situation like I'd rather have what I drew over the real woman I'm with. I want to be able to have game time and not get griped at cuz my full attention is not on her. I'll close it down if asked, if I'm able to. I won't just leave a raid party right in the middle of an encounter without a good reason. It's considered highly rude. Some games even have penalties for doing that, like the competetive playlist in Destiny 2 or all of Gundam Battle Operation 2.


Sorry to get so wordy. Like I mentioned, this is a bit of a vent as well as personal.

I'm considering ways to make it easier to earn a bit more for my creative efforts. What I am not sure of is what is the better choice right now. I had a Patreon but shut it down as it was not getting attention or being taken seriously. I thought about Ko-fi seeing so many others use it, but I know nothing of it.

Ever have a particular subject you want to draw then find you cannot locate your refs for any of it? That's been my night thus far. Not letting it stop me or ruin things. It's just forcing a bit of a gear shift that is being a little resistant.


My commissions and YCHs are still open now bids yet. I really want to get that stuff going. Cars don't fuel themselves and bills don't stop needing payment just cuz your money runs out.

Due to rl time issues and constraints, this is where I will start off. These can be thigh-up to full body sketches. I'll be sticking to mostly BW for now. That said, I will allow these to be colored by others as long as MY part gets credited as well.

Sketch slots:
1
2
3
4
5

Payment is expected up front. Single character only. Can be SFW or NSFW. Note me for a spot. You can claim multiple spots if you want. Visual Refs are preferred.

Samples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30147189/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30204111/

So here is what I will try doing. Considering work schedule and time available, I will start off with sketch commissions and some small YCHs. I have access to my scanner for use again so that will help a bit. I'll start off at $10 for the actual commissions and see where it goes from there. The YCHs will start with the four pre-poses I made a while ago and expand from there.

The poses: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29402056/

I'll make a journal for the sketches and a queue later.

There are just too many things I need to be ready for potentially and not enough funds to go around. I've beat myself down for too long. I gotta do something to turn things around. This might, I hope, be a start.

It's not looking so good this month. Have an extra expense as I need new tags for my car. Only made rent on time cuz payday was right before it was due. The in-house washer is still shot so no way to do laundry without hunting down a laundromat and getting out money for quarters. My gaming headset broke on the part that holds it in place properly. Also, yet another year my b-day gets spent at work. It's on a Sunday which means it's one of my 12-hour days. Can't afford to request it off either as I need every minute I am given.

I am at a loss on what I should do. Do I try yet again for another feeble attempt to get commissioned? Should I just plan on packing up and moving out come end of month? How would I get the funds for the drive? Fueling a car for a 2000+ mile drive is not cheap. Food stops included, it was nearly $300. I feel so stuck and lost.

I know I said I'd have them up a few days after the last journal. There was a snag as some reorganization left my scanner inaccessible. I figured out a way around that and set the on-paper sketches on my tablet and roughly traced over them to get them on my art program. It worked well enough. It might be a while before my scanner is useable again. Guess I am stuck doing anything I'll post purely digital until then.

Though that won't be feasible for a bit. In the meantime as a way to try bracing for approaching expenses, I am considering a series of pre-posed YCH things. I'll try scribbling up some over the next couple days and put them up to pick from. I could use the help and support.

Things are just not going well. Rent is going to clean me out. I'm at a half tank for my car. I want to go to Anthro Northwest and had been hoping to all year. I have other bills coming up quick too. Problem is I have nowhere near enough to go around. I feel utterly lost and hopeless. It's so bad I feel like I just want to go home most days.

I'm feeling a bit better than I have in a while. I'm wanting to draw and that a bit more lately, but the well is still rather dry for ideas. I'm not in a place where I'm ready to reopen for commissions, but maybe a couple small requests or ideas.

Everything else is still in flux or plain uncertain. Looking for different work so I can leave this toxic workplace. Alternative housing hunt is going slowly, might be too slow. Still, I've found a touch of light of hope. Trying to keep it alive and glowing as long as I can.

I'm constantly drained and frustrated. I've had no days off from work since the 17th last month. The GM here clearly does not want to work with me. I'm treated like I can't measure up to whatever standards he has. My depression is unending and is getting compounded by growing anger. I'm on course for a meltdown of an explosive erueruption. It's not looking good right now.

Got a potential hit on moving, but my work hours have taken a nasty dip. I went from excessive OT to now having getting a proper 40 a week seeming unlikely. This timing is certainly in convenient. While a lot of things are caught up thanks to that crazy OT, this drop could make covering moving expenses... tricky. Not sure what I can do to counter it either.

First goal is getting into a better place to live. No matter what, me and my roomie are leaving this dump we've been dealing with come end of next month, if not sooner.

Next, either a considerable computer upgrade or the beginnings of a divorce. Whichever I choose first, then next comes shortly after.

After those, I'm gonna be doing a lot of studying and practice to get into the field I want to be in. I'm tired of busting my ass working at some job that I can't even get to where I can tolerate it anymore. Only reason I'm keeping it is cuz it's giving me what I need to afford everything right now.