For my future. I'm fed up with the way things are and all I have to put up with. I'm not a fighter in terms of physical means involving fists or that. I'll be fighting a different battle, but it's more than I can handle alone. I'll need help. I'm just not sure what kind yet.

Mainly cuz I'm just tired of the way I've let myself be and become. It's not me and I don't want that to be me. Don't expect a quick change, cuz it's not going to be. I got a lot to work through.

Still just barely getting by going day by day.

The way things are going, it's looking like only a matter of time before I'm told to pay up or leave where I'm living. Things at work don't feel any better either. I feel like I'm doing terribly as a manager. I feel like I can't even keep myself in line lately. My confidence is shot. I can't see any viable options to change the way anything is going. What efforts I have tried have pretty much backfired or fell apart.

I've removed what things that have been making the situation harder. I downgraded my Picarto to basic. Closed my Patreon page. Re-opening commissions is not an option currently. I can't think of anything else that would make enough of a difference.

Things are going very poorly. I'm stuck in a terrible rut in all areas. I can't bring myself to try doing anything creative. I look at my works and just feel my efforts mean nothing. Money wise things are slowly sinking further downhill. With how poorly I feel about my art, trying commissions again is totally out of the picture. I feel as if I could not even give it away. I don't know what to do beyond packaging up and going back to where I moved from. I feel like I failed...

My schedule is a mess. My days have been chaotic. I witnessed an accident that, last I heard, resulted in a fatality. I have not had any real time to spare for myself or any sort of creativity. In fact, I think this past week has added a good deal more gray hairs to my head. Yeah, I'm not doing well.

Schedule wise, I have no time for most anything. I'm barely able to get a chance to check on things and take care of major stuff that needs attending. Work is being extra stressful with the GM on vacation. It's easy to tell who cares and doesn't as those that are there for an easy check are being more lazy and disrespectful. I'm seriously not doing too well with the situation. I'm having to do the work of two positions on top of being manager and it's quickly wearing on me.

Started filing my taxes last night. It's worse than I feared. It's looking like I have to pay in nearly $800 this year. Cuz I can't claim certain things, there is little chance I can lower that. That hurts to find. I have no idea how to cover all that and everything else. I need help. I cannot handle it alone.

This month is off to a poor start. Couldn't make rent in time. Had to get a payday loan to try making it, but that was still not enough either. My attempts to earn more with my drawing got no attention. I can't seem to meet my own goals in that, or any, area. I question why I ever thought I could be more or better. I'm even wondering if I should even keep trying.

I have an active YCH available. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26175765/ No bids yet, but I'm still accepting.

My Patreon page, https://www.patreon.com/ColdfireFox , is up and running. It's basically a tip jar and place for in-progress things for now. As it grows, I want to add rewards and special offers.

I'm still open for commissions as well. The extra funds would be helpful. I have rent coming due, new car t plates/tags to cover, and other needs to save/earn extra for. There is no lack of things to take care of.

I've gotten the process going of going from two part-time jobs to one full-time job. Even got the steps going to up that full-time to a manager-level. While that is great and can be a big help, what the one I put notice in for did does not help. While the notice was for the proper two weeks, they did not schedule me at all that second week. That's a nearly $300 loss that the other won't be able to make up for until a week after rent is due. Add to the fact that my car tags are also due this month, I'm in a nasty pinch. I rely on being able to drive to get around. It's easier and more affordable than daily bus fare to get around. Plus, I can carry more things like groceries and have no worries of silly bus rules on that stuff. While my next payday will cover my remaining bills and new tags and that stuff, it leaves me critically shy on rent. While I am still planning to launch a Patreon creator page, that likely won't help enough by itself in time.

I could use help. I'm willing to work for it through commissions, but I'm willing to bite the bullet and accept donations as well. My paypal is here: https://www.paypal.me/MichaelD2486
I really don't like asking for stuff like donations. It does not sit well with me having to ask for help and have nothing to pay it back with. I'd rather have a huge list of commissions that take a month to get through instead.

Check here for the details: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8569888/

This month is my birthday month. It's not been a pleasant time the past few years. Last year saw me dealing with a totaled car and the ordeal of finding a replacement. This year, I'm making this month something better by starting things that may help turn things around for the better. I will be launching a Patreon creator page this month. It's nearly ready right now even. Just need to iron out a couple details. Any tips as far as setting up payments and collection pledges would be welcome. Art wise, things may be slower than normal since I have two jobs and one likes to have me go until midnight with the other needing me in early the next morning. I swear it feels like the late shifts are done on purpose to wear me down. Also, there is a good chance I'll be going through the process of moving to a different place to live very soon, so there is that as well.

Commissions are still open. I'll be trying to stream a little tonight. I'm also changing my monthly commission goal as to not feel like I'll setting myself up for utter failure. It will be $200 instead of $300.

With the two jobs has come some rough adapting. While the latest one is one I had before, I'm having to relearn a little and adjust to a different environment. Things operate a little differently and my meticulousness is proving a bit of a hindrance. It's also a larger space so projecting my voice over just being loud is not working there. The hours between the two is making it harder too. One like to run me on shifts that go to midnight and the other wants me in early. That means I may not get into bed and asleep until 1am only to have to be up by 6am to make sure I can be ready to start at 8am. That is proving rough as it gives me no time to unwind and relax a little so I can sleep decently. While my body can take the pressures, my mind is the part that is taking the most stress and strain. I found a while ago I need that unwind time, but I'm not getting it right now.

I'm sorry to those that come to my streams that I was doing that I have not been. I've not been in a good way. I don't feel like I'd be able to work with enough concentration to stay on task to make streaming worth while for what few viewers I have. I'll be working to get this corrected soon for everyone's sake, mine included.

My time is going to take a hit, especially the next few days. I am still open for commissions and will still stream when I can. They will just be kept short as I won't have time for lengthy stream sessions. It may also mean more scanned pencil works appearing in my gallery since I do try to doodle during down time at work. Gotta keep the skills alive somehow.

Things are still looking really tight and uncertain for the long run. That said, my efforts to attain alternate/extra employment are going well. Despite a small delay due to a paperwork issue, things are in motion for that job to start pretty much tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have strong doubts it will be enough in time. Stream spots are still going to open and regular spots are still available as well. Even people getting a $5 sketch here and there would help.

My consideration of opening a Patreon as a tip jar and small support platform may need reworking. With the changes they are making, I'm not sure it will prove beneficial enough to pursue. That would not be implemented until after the new year, if I do proceed. For now, I'm just trying to work on my ability to be more productive and create more works that I can feel good about, especially quality wise.

Info on my regular slots can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8345640/
Note me for a spot and we can work out content and pricing. I'm willing to be flexible. FYI, I live making avian characters and generally do not charge extra for wings.

Thanks to a two-piece purchase by a watcher on Picarto, I will just barely make my part of the rent for next month. If you read this, I really appreciate it and am ready to get started as soon as you have the details of the commission ready and in my hands.

That aside, I'm not out of the woods yet. My weekly shift total hours are looking dismal. While I do have a good prospect for a different
/additional job, the first interview is not until tomorrow and I have no idea how soon I would start should I get the position. I'm still wide open for commissions. Even getting a sketch from me would help. Would be another longer shift I can afford lunch during.

Just looking for a few simple opinions. All replies will be read and considered. Honestly, I'm at a loss on what I should work on more.

1. Which of my characters in my posted roster do you want to see a bit more of? https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....er/115921/Refs

2. What's my current bast piece[s] in my gallery? Just link them for this one.

3. What areas/content should I try focusing on more? What do people want to see me at least try once?

I've been considering this for a while. While I still wish to have one more focused on the comic I am working towards, I am thinking of starting up one as a little tip jar to get the ball rolling a little faster, hopefully. I'd really like to know if anyone watching me would put anything towards it. Even a couple dollars would be great. If it goes well enough, I would be happy to offer rewards, like discounts on commission work.

After doing a more serious budget calculation, things are looking seriously dismal. After all bills and best estimates of food and gas, the remainder is nearly nothing, and that is if all projections for hours worked are met. With the wavering and potential variance of my own schedule, and myroommate needing to go to the doctor suddenly, current income levels are sorely lacking. I need more and the only options are a 3rd job or getting commissioned. I'd rather get commissioned. It seems far more enjoyable and vastly more flexible than another job.

I have all slots available and a YCH auction that is still unclaimed and wide open.

YCH: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24793701/
Commission queue and pricing: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8345640/

The extra income would be a great boon for building extra savings and creating a buffer for emergencies. The biggest needs for savings are a better place that will, hopefully, be more affordable after the initial expense and something unpleasant that is impending. It's not an area I like to go into, but it must be said. I will eventually be filing for divorce. Those who know me best know it's been likely for a while. It's reached a point that it is time to lay it out in the open.

Last night fell through. Sorry to any who were looking forward to me streaming. I was tired, mentally fried, and lost more time than I thought for the early release of Destiny 2. Long line, nuff said. Net is up and running and did an unannounced test stream. All worked well for how long I ran it. With that situated and fairly set, just need to figure out the best time frames to do actual streams.

Currently, finances are looking very bleak. I'm tapped out until next payday, which is over a week away. My desired goal for commission work is at $0 out of $300 currently. I'm completely open right now. The work would really help. I'm willing to be flexible and push my boundaries. That's actually one of the things I was hoping some commissions might do even.




Commission slots and base prices here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8345640/

A bit of luck came my way and it looks like I'll have net at the start of September. The monthly goal will reset and I'll start it fresh. In fact, I'm calling this month's slots closed and going to start taking spots for September as of now. Come get them while they're completely open. The sooner I get them in, the sooner I can/will start. Need the info? Go here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8345640/


Even Sketches and simple lines with help. Like my sketch work but want better coloring jobs? That's fine. You can have others color what I make. Just give me credit for my part and link me what you get made. I'd like to see it too. I'm not unreasonable and I know others are better than myself in many areas.

I've been patient since I've had other things to get straightened out a well. I've got regular work again. I had no choice in that and I knew it well in advance. That being enough is looking very uncertain, however. I've only gotten $15 out of $300 I wanted to make this month. If I can't reach that, I can about guarantee I can't get usable internet for streaming, which I seriously want to do. This is really serious. This flops and I'll be forced to move back to where I left. That mean going back to the miserable situation that sapped away my will, desire, and passion and made my dreams feel hopelessly beyond reach. I can't let that happen. Not sure I could bounce back from the depression that would cause.

Since I'm getting more situated and have a way to post stuff, it's time I really get to business. Commissions are still fully open. I also have two YCHs running.

Auction style: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24342988/
Multi-slot: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23893366/



I'm setting my goal at $300 from commission income alone. While that's a bit big, I think I can handle that. I'll have a progress marker on my main page to keep track each month.

Send a note or reply to the following linked journal to get a spot on my list.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8345640/

Took a bit loner than I liked, but the trip was pretty rough and the time changes had my patterns thrown a bit. Will be a long time before I dare brave a mountain highway again. That was terrifying.

Now that I'm reaching a better balance again, I'm going to make good on what I was planning to do. Commissions and a couple YCHs are still very open.