Don't mind me, just cleaning some dust.

It's been far too long.

Spring, July, who cares

What's important is I've not posted anything here in -quite- a long time, I'm quite a bit older now.. I wouldn't mind blowing off the dust and taking the time to upload all the random shit I've gotten over the last few years.

I took the time to move some things to scraps that I didn't feel like looking at anymore, (i.e the Sasha story) that I didn't really feel were representative of me anymore... especially that story given I was young and it's not the best thing I've ever written and I still cringe a bit at it. Maybe at some point I'll return and rewrite some of the later bits or give it a proper ending, but that's a problem for future Mini! Fuck her.

Speaking of writing, I've been working on a few various little things here and there. I have a cute little shapeshifting/emergent clothing story to upload, and there's a rather kinky UDTF story I've been working on on & off that's waiting to be finished. Writing is just something I wanna do again so getting those up would just be nice. Maybe I'll start doing writing commissions in the future, who knows!

Anyway, wanted to say something, let nya'll know I'm not dead n so forth. If you wanna find me easily elsewhere, you can find me at bnuy.gay!

As some may have noticed, my writing of Sasha has been quite absent. I've sadly had to suspend it for the moment as I deal with some rather hard mental health problems. I'm still figuring everything out from it and it's going to take some time. Either way, our lovely Mouse slut will return <3 don't worry. And I'll be okay.

SO! It's been a while since I've said anything but things are going well enough. I figured with recent events it'd be a good time to talk about some upcoming things. So I've got a few things coming up soon art and story wise, the ball has started rolling in a few places. I recently met up with  Zylogaroh and well, shenanigans have happened o3o You'll be seeing a nice bit of art coming up involving such events, and a neat little story collab with the absolutely wonderful  Luxianne :3 Only thing I'm going to tease there is EGGGGGS!!~ It is Easter after all ;3

Yeah, I'm still alive, just been lurking around for a while o3o I dunno if anyone's noticed whatever hiatus I took, but yeah, I'm still around. I've been doing a bit of writing (again) lately, and this time it's looking promising. I'm writing a short-ish TG story, and I may post up a bit of it sometime soon. Other than that, I got to see Godzilla with my boyfriend, and I'm taking some time to listen to Sabaton's newest album. Life's okay right now. It could be a HELL of a lot better, but I'm alive and I guess that counts as something.

...When you're trying to find an artist to suggest to someone, but you can't remember their name, and can't seem to find them after hours of searching through my watch list... If anyone who watches me can help out, that'd be great :P I remember his icon was his fursona... a yellow fox or coyote thingy with wiggly arms. I know for a fact it's not Lance_Foxx so yea :P I honestly can't remember what his name was, or if he's changed it, and I can't find him.

.....

Welp :I I believe I found him. However the story I was looking for isn't there... ah well :P I can keep digging but at least I found who I was looking for.

This is another bit of late night rambling, so bear with me. Life has finally started moving again, even if just barely. Chris has finally got me back working on stuff and I've made a little money. It all went to the family though, so :/ Either way, I honestly really enjoy going over there. Also, there's a car that I've got my eye on, that for once is actually reasonable and should be a fun project for me. One of my boss's neighbor's has a 1976 Datsun 280z that he's willing to sell to me for around $600, and the best part is it's not actively for sale. Just a nice private offer, which I'm extremely happy about. Only issue is that the car needs a little work. The electrical system needs to be mended, and a couple of interior pieces need to be replaced as well, BUT he has all the parts it needs to be repaired with (As far as I know.) Still, $600 for a car that would put some Ferrari's to shame, even with the needed work, is an amazing opportunity. I should be getting a nice large sum for the Defender game that I've been working on lately, so I can stuff some of that into savings until I'm ready.

Another thing, I've started pushing on my writing again. I ended up with a writers block that was keeping me down for almost a month, and I'm trying to push my way through it. Quite a few new developments have been happening with the setting as well, so that's helped breathe a bit of life back into the story. I'll leave an excerpt at the end of this as well.

One more thing, I was in my first car accident! First real one anyway. The others happened years ago and involved nothing more than someone backing into us on a parking lot. What happened this time was I was riding shotgun in my friend (and boss) Chris's car. We dropped our friend Tony off at his house and we're heading back to the shop through some back roads in the rain. He was going a little fast but it wasn't too serious. Well, it had started sleeting and the roads were getting really slick, so we rounded a corner and spotted a car around 500 feet ahead of us, that we thought was still moving, but as it turns out it was stopped and ready to turn. Also, it's brake light was out. That bit's important. So by the time we realize it's out and the car is stationary, we were on top of it. Chris slammed on the brakes, but we started to slide, so at the last second he dove off to the right and into a ditch. Well, thanks to the fact that we were riding in a jeep, it rode up out of the ditch, onto a rather steep snowcovered hill, and Chris got us back on the road. It was a very violent ordeal, but the three of us in the car were okay, and the car itself was okay, and the car in front of us was okay... we thought all was said and done until the red and blue lights on the car went on! We almost nailed a cop. He was really cool about everything though. He came over and made sure we were okay, then had us pull over in a nearby driveway to get things sorted out. We didn't get a ticket at all, and everything went very smoothly. We forgot to tell him his brakelight was out though ._. oops. Either way, we all were freaking out for the next couple days... It only happened about 3 days ago actually... so Monday. Anyway, that's all I have on that... So! The excerpt from "Rin's Lullaby."

This is from Chapter 3. It's a nice humourous bit of dialogue, and a nice hunk of the chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it!
===================================================

“You’re mad at me aren’t you?” The Runner asked as Chase stepped into the console room.
Music quietly played in the background as the rabbit kept her post, flicking switches and twisting nobs every so often. The girl took a step back and yawned, looking over at Chase as he sat on a nearby railing. The skunk was clutching a cup of coffee to his chest like it was the last drink he’d ever get. The Runner cocked an eyebrow at this.
“You know there’s more coffee than just that. I keep the cubburd stocked.” She said, her paw idly gesturing towards the kitchen.
“You told me the date would be perfect…”
“Oh come on. It wasn’t THAT bad. Everyone misses their mark every once in a while.” She countered, giving her eyes a roll as she threw another lever.
“You missed our mark by 300 years!” Chase retorted.
“Your point?”
“You put us in an active warzone!!” Chase flailed.
“I never said the errors would be tiny…” She paused, biting her lip and gulping. “Cut a girl some slack. I’d like to see you pilot this by yourself.”
Chase just sighed and rolled his eyes, moving over to stand next to her.
“I don’t get it, why take me to a war torn planet, JUST for a cup of coffee? That’s just a little crazy.”
The Runner raised a finger at this.
“Because, Akgricorr 9 has simply the best coffee in the universe! I always go there when I’m in need of more coffee.”
“Yeah, but was it worth risking our lives over?”
“Well, it was good enough to start a war over so I’d figure as much!”
A small tremor ran through the TARDIS, rattling the console and most of the dishware lying around the room. Eventually this tremor was followed by a soft “bong,” and all went quiet.
“There we are! We’ve landed.”
“That’s it?” Chase queried, tilting his head. “I thought it would be a bit more eventful with flying through space and all.”
The Runner got a chuckle out of this.
“In all reality, she does very little flying for a spaceship.”
The skunk was a bit dumbfounded by this, which gave him no other choice, but to shut up and follow the rabbit’s lead, grabbing his coat and following her to the door. The Runner waited for Chase before opening the door.
What they found on the other side wasn’t the most comforting of places. Tombstones surrounded the displaced London Police Box and a soft dusting of snow was coming down around.
“Well this isn’t foreboding at all.” The Runner quipped, gazing about.
“Wait a minute!” Chase exclaimed, “I thought I was Captain Obvi-”
The Runner shut him up with a kiss and a wink.
“I stole yer job.”

Well... specifically ideas that I just can't get down on paper no matter how hard I try. This, for me, and probably everyone else I bet, is not only frustrating as hell but annoying. Anyway, the picture I've been failing at recently, and is probably going to be commissioned from someone the moment I have money, is one that means quite a lot to me.

It's of a character of mine, named Rin. Aesthetically, she's the same as Mini. She's pretty much exactly the same fursona, just with a different back story and personality. The main thing is that she's a Time Lord, at this point in her 3rd incarnation, and is more than just a little troubled by her past. She's relatively young in the terms of a Time Lord (She's only 237) but death is something that is very much a part of her life and always on her mind. Unlike The Doctor, she's never stayed away from relationships. Her loneliness always drove her to find a lover of some kind, boy or girl. She's had a wife, and I feel it's one of the things that's traumatized her the most. Of course, she doesn't age, so her wife grew old and eventually passed away, while she stayed in the body of a 19 year old. That experience is something that shook her to the very core and because of that, she ran away. She also gained her monicker, "The Runner" from this. Now with that bit of back story out of the way, the thing I wanted to have drawn up is a scene from her travels.

Throughout her experiences and adventures, she comes across a very serene spot on a colonized planet sometime in the future. After spending a bit of time there, she decides to explore a bit further, and stumbles upon a grave site. It's singular, very well taken care of, and is about 100 feet from the edge of a cliff at the bottom of a hill. Upon investigation, she finds out that it's her own.
As a traveler of time and space, she finds this to be a bit too much. She feels that even if given the chance to learn, you should never learn your own fate. You should never know too much about your own future. However, as someone who's old and world weary, even at her relatively "young" age, it's something that kind of puts her at ease. It really relieves her quite a bit, because she knows she really will die one day.

However! There's a catch, that terrifies her greatly. The tombstone is dated 1879, and that alone, for her, is just too much information. Imagine if you knew the date of your last day. Even the year would be just too much. I know for me, it would cause more harm than good. I would definitely live my life to the fullest, and be the best person I could be, especially if that date was relatively close, but still, I think I would end up being depressed more than I could imagine...

It's late. I'm ranting. To get to the point, I really want to get this one done as not only a piece of back story for my character, but as something that means quite a lot to me. Over the last 8 years, 11 people who were very close to me passed away in very unfortunate circumstances, all too young to die... and the concept of death is something that troubles me. I'm honestly terrified of it, but I know one day my time will come, but I always have a feeling that I'll die young. I've lost many a nights sleep over this, believe me :/ So I want to get a picture of Rin sitting in front of her grave in the morning (or evening) light, pondering or even crying over this find. It's really something that means quite a lot to me and no matter what, I'll have it done eventually... I just felt like getting this thought out and seeing what you guys thought of it.

Anyway, it's late, I'm tired. G'night.

As I just said, yes, it's been quite a while since I posted anything at all. Any sort of writing that I was working on around the last journal has long since failed or been archived (I don't throw anything that I write away.) Things've been okay with me. Depression, anxiety, and dysphoria are a bit out of hand sometimes, but I'm still alive aren't I? That's something at least. I've started digging into some heavier metal bands lately, and I've been listening to a lot of lapfox records. I recently discovered Helloween. AMAZING German metal band that's been pumping out music since the early 80's and still going strong. They're newest work, "Straight Out Of Hell" is killer. Just brilliant! At the same time as I said, I've been on an electronica kick, digging into all of Renard Queenston's works, with that fursona and all 15 of his other outlets.

I've found a job, albeit it's been a bit spotty lately. I work repairing and restoring vintage arcade and pinball machines with a friend. Sadly we haven't done anything for a month straight because we ran out of space and have to sell some to clear up room. I got the job pretty much when we were in need of a new shop, so it's been tough.

I've also been writing quite a lot lately. I've pumped out two more chapters for my latest story (It's working this time! I have high hopes.) and I'm really happy with the results, and the people who have read them have been really liking how it's going. In fact, if anyone here is interested, I can post an excerpt. I don't think I'll start posting chapters till I'm farther along and comfortable that this is going to work out for sure. But yeah, I'll post a nice chunk of it if you guys would like to see it.

Anyway, I'm sick, I'm tired, and I'm listening to some nice metal, which is putting me to sleep. G'night!

Edit: How the hell did I end up with 48 watchers?! o= o_o I thought I was talking to like 7 people at the MOST. You people are awesome, just sayin :3

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:D SO!
On a happy note, I may be getting a chance to FINALLY visit my boyfriend! (I live in the midwest and he lives in Canada) The only problem is I need to find a way to get to MFF, and he may not be able to go either. Im still trying to get a job, which so far has come up with nothing, and I'm getting pissed at Tekkit for being evil... Y U NEED TO MAKE RAILS SO HARD TO MAKE!! Anyway, thats all I have. :x

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Yup! Here's another one of those journal entries where I babble and whine about life :P I'm lonely. I honestly feel like I'm alone as a lapine in this fandom. The only rabbits I've met so far are only alt fursonas or partial bunnies... I've never met another rabbit who would just snuggle or be friends... Any that ive actually met (which is only like 4 others) have more or less just ignored me :( Anyway... Ill stop whining :P now about the title... I took the time to listen over a few of my Pink Floyd albums again, and I really feel that the song "Poles Apart" from The Division Bell really holds a place in the relationship between my 2 characters. My fursona is split into two people, Mini and Cygnus, and they're pretty much sisters even though they dont realize it (or brother and sister... depends on what Mini is :P), and i felt that it would be something Cygnus would sing in tribute to Mini. Cyg takes care of Mini like an older sister, and honestly feels that Mini has gotten most of the misfortune of the two. Everything seems to work out for Cyg, while things always go wrong for Mini... So there's ALOT that could change how and who Mini is in the end. At one time she was happy and loving and daring, now she's scared, beaten, and unstable. :P It honestly makes me cry a little thinking of how Cyg feels about it... its like watching your little sibling go through a heavy drug addiction. Anywho, thats my bit of babble for the day... and seriously, if you're a rabbit and feel like getting to know me a bit better, my skype is Minislash037. Add me and mention this i guess :P

YAY!! I'm finally going to be a part of a major event on FS! Hell! Im the centre of the major event! And I may get to eat a couple people as well but thats beside the point x3 its just got me wanting to go SQUEEEE!! Anywhooooo... Nerding aside, I'm feeling rather well. At the moment at least o_o I saw possibly the BEST concert in my life so far :D Sabaton was AMAZING!!! Like... lolcats swimming in awesomesauce awesome!! Like a Dalek working for GLaDOS awesome! Like learning James Bond is a time lord awesome!!... i think ive gotten my point across. Sabaton is one of the best bands ever, and i had meet and greet passes (THANK YOU RAPH!! YOURE AWESOME!! <3) Soooo... another thing lately is ive been coming up with alot of ideas for pictures, and i know a couple of artists who do free art, but i dont want to suddenly flood them x.x that would be mean, because then it would seem like im just using them for the free art. I know i have a picture i want to get from an event I ran in flexible survival. The scene itself didn't appear in game, but Cygnus talks about it sometimes... then I may get a pic done of the event coming up, and I've asked my friend Aklas if he could do a picture for me, and im planning on getting a picture done of Cyg and Mini together with their respective weapons (Cyg with her staff sword, Jade, and Mini with her post apocalyptic version of the rifle she carries around in every other universe, the Reaper, however in this case called the Widowmaker.)... I may even get off my fat ass and start working on my own art and guitar designs soon x.x i really need to. Thats all I have for now, night... if it's night where you are when you're reading this <.< o-o

Before I start... I use "..." ALOT, but on that note, ill start my horrifically badly written rant thats bad because i havent gotten any sleep because ive been throwing up all night and my right shin is swolen and purple... and Ill do a free picture to anyone who feels like pointing out all the gramar failures and misspellings in this... if anyone really reads and/or cares :/ So first off... Today marks the 100th anniversary of the tragic sinking of R.M.S. Titanic... may all those people who lost their lives rest in peace. At the moment I'm wathcing Top Gear (British version <3) and bitching about my life. My master and furdad still continue to bitch at whine at eachother like old ladies and not act like the mates that they were to eachother. My stomach continues to gurlge thanks to that Easter chocolate that has to be AT LEAST 10 years old... I NEVER trust the candy my grandparents give me anymore... cheap fucks -_- And on the note of chocolate, Philip J. Fry has been turned into the Red M&M. There is some good news today... The free picture that I commissioned from the awesome  Neokandra is due to be done any time now, and believe it or not, my parents have actually agreed to help me find a DeLorean and possibly nab one... Nab isnt the right word, makes it sound like im trying to steal it. Either way, their willing to help me aquire one, and that makes me happy :) Another bit of fun, I ran an RP scene well (In my opinion) and everyone had fun! Ill post a log of it eventually. Only sad part of it is my character, which is pretty much me, as well as my main fursona... well, She may end up dead or close to. Such a shame really, its her birthday in game right now, and she very well may be dead inside. Like litterally a souless vegetable. :( and on that note... I guess Ill end this. This may end up in my personal journal and on my tumblr if i feel like it :P So, good morning everyone. have a good day.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3329766/ :D

Oh no... I just happened to stumble across one of my favourite artist's profile... and as ive learned, he passed away only hours ago in a car wreck... I want to send my sympathy and support to the family and friends of Vex  ponybird and the widow he left behind,  SillySerpentine and i hope everyone will do the same. R.I.P. Vex Y~Y

Who thinks i should do a kiriban drawing for 500 or 750 page views? Probly not gonna be anything that hard... Something like the little scribbly pics ive done on my tablet. Tell me what you think!

I honestly dont know how to feel... Recently one of my friends killed off one of his fursonas and i actually cried over it... He pretty much taught me how to roleplay and ive had enough roleplays with his character to fill a harddrive or 2... since then hes started a new fursona that ive gotten to know well, but when i found he killed his old one off, it just tore at me. I don't know why... i mean, its not like the character was real... i guess he was real enough for me. So yes, im sitting her crying over the death of a friend. One i knew well, yet never existed outside the realm of fiction and fantasy... R.I.P. Stryker... i loved you. <3 Y~Y

here ---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3231270/

nothing more to see here :3

Ive though about writing a slightly soft sci-fi story o_o main plot is my characters get turned into a ship-board AI system and stuffs :P i know it sounds dumb, but in practice, its brought alot of interesting stuff.... sooooooo... yeah :x

Once again, my attempts to revert my sleep cycle back to what its supposed to be are failing. I try to go to bed earlier than 5am, and what happens? I just lay in bed wide awake with no hope of falling asleep till i give out at 8am. Among other more exciting things, i FINALLY have a picture of my fursona, and ive been thinking up a new character for myself to use in Flexible Survival. Quite often, ive rp'd having children, and named a few Avery, because I love the name, and im finally gonna use it on a child in game. I have some special plans for him, which may or may not include eventual suicide .-. seeing as how hes coming into being in an extremely troubled time and comes from a very alert and aware mother, hes gonna catch on pretty quick that he nor any one else his age is quote on quote normal, seeing as how in game, the nanites cause children grow up in as long as a week, or as little as a matter of hours, and they transfer some of the mothers memories to the child. Hes quite capable of putting the pieces together and hes definitely gonna feel robbed. Ive often thought of this case of such a troubled soul thats born in a post-apocalyptic world, and to be honest, im really looking forward to giving this a try. As for life, im getting over another case of bronchitis, which sadly has lasted past my birthday, though im getting better. Along with that, i had a break down a few days ago which im still tormented by... Im just a wreck as of late :/ I havent been writing much at all except for the bits of RP ive been doing, and honestly, im thinking of re-writing Forever Autumn, but i really dont want to mess with that at this point... i think ill wrap this up now. Night.

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okay, first off http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3036331/ <-- free art raffle :3
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second, HAIIII!! x3 just spazzing a bit over having watched an entire firefly marathon yesterday <3 and discovering (by myself thank you) that in Halo 3 ODST, Sgt Buck is voiced by and modeled after Nathan Fillion, who is rapidly becoming my favourite actor. i have a man crush on Malcom Reynolds >///< anyway, living room is almost entirely fixed up. we should be putting up the tv either up tonight or tomorrow... i built the tv stand, now i want that damned 47 inch up on it!! x3

Happy Holidays to the handful of people who watch me =3 i shall always be thankful. in a couple of days, you should reply with what you got from Santa Paws =D

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3022319/ <--- there