I changed my name as of this morning. If you would like follow me to my new account  blabbitz great, if not that's fine.

In light of what had happened over a design Auction... I am dropping this account/user name all together, I thought this over for the past few days and I feel a fresh start is needed after what had been said about me. With that said, I ask that any and all IDS members Please do not contact me in any way. If you all want to talk bad about others for something an other person did that was in no way wrong and or warranted threatening to doing bodily harm to someone for no other reason other then you feel they out bid and or snipped bid on an something you are all fucking crazy.

Just a reminder... that tomorrow starts National Bullying Prevention Month. You can find out more about it here.

Sadly no one is immune to this...

I myself just had someone pass on a very nasty convo of what people said about me behind my back over a design auction...

There is no reason to say hurt full things about others

like wanting to do bodily harm to others.

"I kind of want to punch her in the teeth"

And would told "Please don't"

they respond with

"You cant stop me"

and my fav one out of all the remarks

"If she doesn't want to be treated like an ass she shouldn't do asshole things"

So it seems that coming home from work and signing on to check out said auction when I get home form work and biding on them when I had time to is wrong... seeing as the time for when said auction closed was only minutes away. It's some how justifiable to say shit behind my back.

I had thought nicely of these people in the past for the most part... but it seems you never truly know anyone any more.

Words hurt a lot... and most times they are much sharper then any weapon.

Remember that before you start to say hurt full things about others.

So this past two weeks I have been severely sick. Never thought in the world I would be this sick.. for a week I had and a half I had high grade fever around a 104.3 to 103.5 at the worse and 99.9 at the lowest.. now the low grade one doesn't sound that bad... but my base line body temp is 97.6 a degree or so lower then the average persons temp. Any ways that was just the start of it I had blinding headaches as well as a Urinary tract infection that I was told wasn't really that bad and was giving antibiotics and was told I should feel better in a day or so if I followed what the bottle said to do and rested. Was also told to get blood work done.. I wasn't able to get it done the day I saw the doctor because the blood work lab was closed by the time I got done so I went home and rested like I was told. The next day I was in loads of pain, my back near where my kidney was it felt like I was being stabbed, I was also running a fever of 101.8 at the time. Called the doctor and they told me to go to the er. They did a ct scan and blood work. Everything but blood work came back alright they said my liver enzymes where slightly high and my white blood count wasn't as high as they thought it would be for having such a high fever. So I went home again and rested but went and got the other blood work done the next day. I had a slight fever again that day as well as my color being off a bit. That blood work down only 24 hours after being in the er. Well the next day I was starting to feel better was finally eating and keeping stuff down and my fever hadn't gone over 99.9 in 24 hours so I was thinking of going back to work.. well just as I was about to get ready for work my doctor called me and asked me if I was still having pain, a fever and sick to my stomach. Which I was but I thought it was manageable at the time being... well my doctor told me I had to go to the er right then because my liver enzymes was sky high. They pulled more blood work reread the ct scan have me stranger antibiotics. This time the white blood count was really high and the liver enzymes where still sky high. They admitted me to the hospital on the 23th and I was in there till after noon on the 26th.. had an MRI, and a ERCP. They had to stop the ERCP for two reasons. One, the way the common bile duct was turned they couldn't see if there was any problem. Two, my O2 stats dropped really low that they didn't feel it was safe to keep going. I have had an ERCP down once before before having my gallbladder out and it wasn't bad... This time however I woke up with a tube down my nose and on air and I remember calling out for help because the tube was bothering me. Well after fully coming around and out of the sedative they had me stay a bit loner in the hospital. To see if I can eat without getting sick as well as handle the pain with out any pain meds. Before they sent me home they checked my liver enzymes and they where normal finally. So they put me on a low fat diet which they said should keep me from getting sick like this again. Which they believe in the end I had some sort of back up be it a stone or sludge in the common bile duct that seems to of cleared it self up over the past two weeks.

I can't tell you how scary this past two weeks was.. I was truly scared at moments and wasn't sure I wanted to see or hear what the doctors wanted to tell me.. I was thinking the worse... that my liver was failing or something went wrong with my gallbladder being removed and its just taken this long to come around. I didn't have any visitors out side of my dad the day I went for ERCP because they called him and my mother to ask what to do about the test when my O2 stats dropped. My cell phone died the First night I was in the hospital and I had to really on there phone for phone calls but they didn't let you take calls after like 11pm. So if you wanted to talk to someone then you had to call out to them... which was quite a pain for me seeing as I didn't remember anyone but my close families cell phone numbers. In all I think this might of scared me in to trying to living a better life, eating healthier then I have been as well trying to be a bit more active. I am grateful for what I have and I think I have taken advantage of this as of late.

This month so far... has been a crazy month for me. I have been though a mix of feelings and many things going on all at once it was wired and I have to say for the most part I didn't like it. Been over stressed and sleeping a lot more then I should be... or maybe its just the late night forum work that my best buddy  suburgatory and myself have been doing for the past eight to nine days. We have been made Admins for Wild Reign RPG forum and are redoing so much stuff.. and well be having a grand new opening with any luck some time next month! The forum is still open to the public/registered users if you want to pop in and see what has been going on and watch the changes as they happen feel free to!

Another big thing is going on, two big moves with in the next to months... With any luck I will be living in a different place by the end of next month.. I know I have been saying for ever that i am going to move... but sadly time has been kinda mean to me... and nothing you can really do other then just hold on and wait for it move on and let it present you with something better. Which at this point it has.. my parents other house is almost ready to be moved in to it just has a few major things left to do and then I'll be living there. Then come the end of October My boyfriend well be up here living with me. Which should help me out a great a lot. While he was up here last month I noticed how my panic disorder and and anxiety disorder was a bit better then it normally we and how he was feeding me good energy and was up and till like a week or two ago had made me a some what stronger person and able to deal with my problems in a better way.. but sadly this past week has been the worse don't know if its from the lack of sleep or the over sleeping but this week has been kind of bad for anxiety over all.

One more thing that made this month crazy was the fact that I thought I might be pregnant, which I was scared about at first... and wanted to cry about it.. didn't know how to tell my boyfriend at first.. thankfully he didn't go bat shit crazy on me for it... did seven home test and I got like three faint yes and five nos so.. I treated it as a over all no but still didn't drink any adult drinks or take anything that could hurt a a baby if I was. At the moment I think its safe to say that no I am not pregnant. It might sound wired but I am kind of sad or bummed that I am not pregnant. I think for the most part I am ready for that kind of change in my life. Its not like i haven't helped raise a few of my siblings kids as it is at the moment. I also found a great guy who shares the same views on on many things who I believe will make a grate father.

Some other news computer and art wise.. let me first say that thanks to my boyfriend I am now using my desktop for everything and it is no longer down stairs... which was a main problem of using it after the newer laptop died.. I couldn't be on it past like 10pm nor really use it other then a few hours here and here.. and it had to be hooked up to the internet with ethernet cable because it doesn't have a wifi card nor can i put my old wifi card in to it. This prompted my boyfriend to get me a usb wifi card.. which works nicely so far and hasn't given me any problems.

This means i can get back to drawing art on the computer.. however only one set back.. any saved files on the laptop are gone... I can not get them back, I have tried many things to try and get the files and other stuff of it.. if anything this mess has shown me I need to place the stuff I hold of more value on an external hard drive. Hard lesson learned for sure.

I have done some art in the past week but nothing I can really share with you all at the moment sadly its mainly all art work for the rgp forum... which I kinda have this thing where I don't want to give anything a way before we implement it in to it.. Because where is all the fun in that if you know whats going to happen before it happens.

I would like to take a moment and thank  seribaba for sending me some money to help fix my laptop, it has gone to good use and I have a full real copy of windows 7 64 bit somewhere on its way to me. Can't thank you enough :heart:

I am still open for Commissions just read my FAQ and send me an email at Morobutt[at]gmail.com

I'll also be putting some stuff up for sale next week... stuff like toys, puzzles, bits of fur craft stuff.. anything I can think of that might draw in some cash that I can part with. A internet yard sale if you well.. so be on the look out for that o.o"

Yep so some how ended up getting a virus on my drawing and gaming laptop. Lost everything that is on it all my photos from April of 2012 to about may of this year. All my art I have done and so much more... kind of lost as to what to do... been asking for money to help fond my boyfriend getting up here and that didn't go to well.. had a few bites but nothing set in stone and no money came in from it... might just have to take my check this week and not buy food or anything and not pay any bills to afford getting what I need to fix my laptop.. which is a windows 7 64bit which will run me around $130 if I get it from a store and or $150+ from online... Which is about a whole check for me from from one week of work working 20 to 25 hours at $8.50 and hour after taxes are taken out.


This isn't what I wanted to do but....

If want to help by donating money to help me fun fixing my laptop follow this link

If you would like art in return for any amount that you have donated please follow this pricing guide here, and SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH WHAT YOU WANT AND YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS THAT YOU DONATED WITH. Send emails to Morobutt@gmail.com


::EDIT::

I have taken the past few days to try and work on my old laptop to get it to run at an okish setup. I can draw on it but not really well photoshop cs5 is giving me a hard time, I can not play any of my games what so ever... I can only really use it to talk to my boyfriend at the moment, surf the web and small little drawings that are no bigger then 1000x1000 pixels or the old laptop starts to over heat. For now it well have to do till I can get an windows 7 cd to fix the gaming and drawing laptop =/

Glad to say that In the three years that I have worked for the home depot i am finally getting to use my vac time... o.o"
My other half is coming up from OK to spend a week here in NY with me.. will be going to a few places for sight seeing but that's it I think.. not much we can really do seeing as where tight on funds at the moment.

Also before warned there will likely be loads of photos... I haven't taken a vacation from work in almost 5 years... o.o" (medical leave is not a Vac)

Oh and before I forget I'll be able to start back on my commissions and Wild Reign request on the 18th or the 19th.. so in about a week. Till then if you would like to see what i have up for sale just check out this journal here. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5894606/ and email me at Morobutt[at]gmail.com and i'll get back to you as soon as I can.

I haven't talked about this on here yet but I kind of threw my back out three weeks ago and wasn't able to work up till two days ago. So I am kind of tight on cash and it's going to be at lest a week or two before I check where I can pay my bills with it. In order to make due for now I am offering some stuff I have done or I am working on at the moment. Below you'll find designs, crafts and wip images that are fore sale. Everything that needs to be shipped can be shipped as quick as 7/2. Feel free to note me or send me an email at Morobutt[at]gmail.com if you see anything you like!!





Book box: http://sta.sh/22bjzfr0qrcc : I have two of these painted black one with silver pages and the other with gold. I wasn't able to finish these because I couldn't think of anything to name the book as or what design to add to said cover and such. They are blank slates, and can be yours for $15 USD ($10 for item and $5 for shipping US only)

Necklaces: http://sta.sh/214btv06yts0 : Four to pick from, These are made out of the following; .45mm beading wire, real glass beads, real coyote canine teeth and the feathers and turtles are made out of bone and cowrie shells. In all took me 30 minutes to do. Can be yours $13 USD ($8 for item and $5 for shipping US only)
(Coyote teeth and bone feather where bought from http://www.glacierwear.com/)


Troll plaque: can be yours for $10 USD ($5 for item and $5 for shipping US only)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13746369/



Wolf/dog designs: eleven to pick from, $2 - $5 each.
http://sta.sh/2lc8ztqnku6


Otter design: Will take what ever someone wants to pay for this

Comes with full sheet as seen in larger size [1809x1385 pixels] as well as each part of the sheet in its own separated image to make using the images for forum icons and signatures more easy. You can also request to have the photoshop pdf file as well.

Upon buying the design you may do what ever you want with it, resell it, keep for your self, post it any where you want and use it any where you want and do anything you want. You will also get a 3000x3000 pixel size of the finished image.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12848466/


Alpha and Omaga: Will do a full background and edit the art to fit your character. Looking to get $20 or best offer for this.

http://sta.sh/01b1mf114igh



Animated wolf image: can edit to fit your character. Looking to get $20 or best offer for this.
http://sta.sh/029wkatuxux

Sketch art: these images can be made in to line art for your use only, edited to fit your character and can be colored as well. $5 apiece.
http://sta.sh/21ip2ct33jpz

Yep... finally feel like i can offer this to others. I am still open for other type of commissions like sketches, which I have now dropped down to 80 points on DA.. so get that while it last!!!
If your interested in any of the below please read my FAQ about my art and Commissions journals and send me a note and or email at Morobutt[at]gmail.com with the subject of commission.

Also doing Quick little character drawings for $5 at the moment. These normally do not take long to do and are not well defined images.

-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13210710/
-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13234430/
-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12679162/


Crafts: Small panted plaques. Piece of pine wood is a is 5 1/8 inch x 7 1/4 inch rectangle, 7 inch circle and 5 1/8 inch x 7 1/4 inch cornered rectangle. It's kiln dried pine, painted with craft paint then sprayed with high gloss enamel spray paint to make sure if the paint ever where to get wet it would never run. Starting at $10 with $6 shipping any where in the USA. I have two of each type at the moment in stock waiting to be worked on.

-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13643437/
-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13704662/
-ex: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13746369/



I have also dropped the price on my designs i have for sale as well.

These ones are now $1 and $2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12835038/

And the otter design is $5 or best offer: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12848466/

With my sisters wedding done and over with I am free to spend my free time doing as I wish once again. So with that said I am fulling open to do many types of commissions at the moment. If your interested in one please read my FAQ about my art and Commissions journal and send me a note and or email at Morobutt@gmail.com.

So far April seems to of gone by so fast.. it feels like just the other day I was my birthday but (3rd)... the realization that my sisters wedding is now only a week away is slowly creeping up on me.

I know I haven't updated this journal in over a month.. Been really busy with work.. Whats funny is I told the home depot that I am looking for another job... and maybe putting my two weeks in at any given time. once I said that they have been giving me more hours.. to the point of nearly maxing out my allowed 30 hours a week for part time employees.

That being said I did have the interview for the place where my sister works, It went well and was told I would hear back by the end of April or the start of May. was also told that no news is good news and that if I don't get a dear john letter to expect a phone call.

other then that not much has been going on... or at lest nothing stands out in my mind that should be noted.

I hope everyone is well and had a great Easter.

Its taken almost over a month to finally hear back from any of the places that I put a application in to. I am grateful to say the place I had wanted to called to back most of all was the first to get back to me. I have an interview today at 3pm with them and I am hoping it goes well.

It would be so nice to finally get out of working in the home depot... things have just gotten to the point where my heath is just getting worse and my anxiety levels where sky high because the staff decides to agree with the customers even though they are clearly throwing a temper tantrum just so you would do or say what they want you to do. I am sorry but to be stared down and called a cunt 10 or more times in less then 5 minutes by someone who wants you to let them to get away with not paying for something and risk losing your job over it has no right to get what he wants... but all you have to do is stop your feet make a seen and the head cashier or the mangers on duty will give you what you want to get you out of the store they wont back us up what so ever. Never mind the fact they the store has core values and that we are we are to stick to things they teach us... but the higher ups over rule all that and make you look like you have no idea what your doing and that you shouldn't have a job more or less. Then some of them have the balls to agree with the customers who are throw said temper tantrum and say things like "Oh I am sorry So and so is wrong and her behavior was uncalled for. I (we'll) talk to her about that later" and make it look like I am in trouble or going to get written up or worse lose my job to make them happy. Its to the point where I cant even tell if what is being said is going to happen or not... which makes me panic because I was only doing what they wanted me to do in the first place.. so I start have an anxiety attack over things like this and if i cant get off the floor to take my medication and try to calm down it just makes things ten times worse to where I feel like I am going to pass out...

I was never like this before working at the home depot. I was never on anxiety medication which needs to be taken before I go to work, taken after an attack starts and before bed... three times or more a day.. just so I can work this is crazy.. I shouldn't have to do that just to function at work. for the past year my doctor has been trying to get me to look for another job and I did nothing about that till recently... the anxiety and panic attacks have gotten worse since going back to work at the start of this year. and the one had for three hours was what woke me up to that my job now is in a way killing me.

Even if I don't get the job at Xerox, I well keep looking for a job till I am out of home depot... even if I have to pack up and move away to find a new job I will do so because my health comes first and foremost no mater what.. but till I can find said better job I am stuck... its better to have a crappy job then no job... and if I just leave home depot and try to get unemployment I would be turned down for that because I wasn't let go I left of my own accord.

So sadly that's what has been going on as of late among other things. I hope today is the start of a new chapter in my book.

Yep, That I am... I find it wired.. since I have been of the working age I haven't been able to work the same job for more then two years in a row... Maybe its because I am still young and don't know what I want out of life... or what I want to do with my life yet... or maybe it's because I cant stand people any more and or i am not getting paid enough to put up with asshole on a whole in said jobs.

Anyways my sisters place of employment is hiring for temp jobs at the moment that start out at $15.50 an hour!!! That's a whole $7.27 more an hour that I could be making and I don't need to see the people I would be helping because I would be in a call center. Its 40 hours a week with weekend with bank/school holidays off!! Oh and the best thing is if I do really good there is a chance that they might keep me after the temp job is over.

I have tired for years to get this job but this time around I have some phone call experience thanks to working the return desk at work and having to take all in bound call to the store while do returns... So I am really hoping this time I get a call back and not a Dear John letter of there looking for better people.

So yeah wish me luck?

Yep yep I am going to live stream working on Dakhma's character sheet... Live streaming should be up in five.

If you happen to miss it check out the video library, I normally add my life feds to that.

http://www.livestream.com/morobutt?t=699568

Hey just wanted to say that my best buddy  suburgatory is open for commissions at the moment and can use a bit of cash. Its their mothers birthday very soon and they would like to do something extra special for their mother seeing as there father pasted away last year. I sadly cant help out even though I would do so in a heartbeat, but sadly funds are short for me at the moment... So passing this on in hopes that I can in some way return the kindness that their mother bestowed on me when my fiancé pasted away back in 2009.

Here is a link to there commission journal http://suburgatory.deviantart.com/j.....ions-437621957

Yes... My boyfriend and Myself got part one of the Let's Play Portal 2 Co-op up on the Drollic Murklins youtube page! [ http://youtu.be/eSGc-S04BmU ] We are working on trying to get something posted once a week. Things posted will range from our lets play, pod cast as well epic moments with our guild in wow.

Also our channel name is Drollic Murklins which means Puppet show(s) in the dark. We're a ragtag group of enthusiastic, slightly clever gamers who record their opinions and antics to share with the world while play games.

For toughs wondering we comment on the following image in the first half of the video. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YPTr1RyqD.....00/science.jpg

On a finally note my boyfriend is not overly mean to me... we have our moments where we get snippy, have a good laugh and it's all in fun.

February so far has seemed like it has turned around what the start of the new year had brought me. This have gotten better at work for the most part... I played around with my own mediation till I found something that seems to work for now, instead of taken a half of a vistaril at night to help with sleep I am taken a fully one before work/leaving the house, I have upped my intake of vitamin d and b as well as started back on a multivitamin this seems to be working really well so far. I have had loads more energy and I don't really feel the need stay home or away from people. However no mater how much better I am, I am still looking for a better a job that is not as stress full nor where I have to deal that much with people.

So far can not of asked for more this month, I was made a mod on Kay's wolf rp forum Wild Reign http://wildreign.com/forum/index.php , I won the try out for Swiftkill on there, I have finally gotten a good group going in my guild on wow for raiding. I mean damn.. I am happy for the first time in a while.

My start to the new year was not as well as I had liked to be. It was a mess at the best of times and really I wonder if and when I would get out of the deep end of the pool that is life and wouldn't need to struggle any more to keep my head above water. I have came to a really hard realization that I need to change jobs... I had been ignoring my doctors for over a year about this. I realized I am not happy most of the time any more.. not like I was the four months I was off of work on LOA... I got up when my alarm clock went off. I enjoyed doing things like crafts, drawing, reading and many other things I use to do in my spare time... I didn't have to take my anxiety meds while I was off of work. Now a days I keep finding myself wanting to sleep long and longer now... I now have two to three different alarms on my phone to make sure I am up with just enough time to get ready and get to work. I am fine on the drive to work till the moment I get to the parking lot. That's when the dread and fear take over and I feel so sick. Sadly even though I like/love the people I work with I need to think of my health first and fore most at the moment. I shouldn't have to live my life in fear like I have been.. Its wearing me out and all I do is sleep most of the time now.

This isn't who I am nor who I want to be... I am a easy going person who enjoys others company and going out with friends and living life to its fullest... I don't want to be the scared skittish thing that I am now. I lie and make up reasons so I don't have to go go with people when they invite me out because I am afraid I cant handle the stresses of being out of my house.. my house is safe... I am fearful of ending up with agoraphobia... the way things are going It looks like how things are heading. I would love to go talk to someone about this hell even go see my doctor to see if maybe my meds need to be changed... but I have to pay off the $500 at my doctor before hand to even see and or talk to my doctor and to go see the counselor I need to pay off $300.... All co-pays my health care at the time refused to pay for last year. I am really hoping the state okes my three month look back to help pay my bills... I could really use it.... I am over $13,000 in debit with medical bills at the moment and I have no way of paying them because they keep telling me to that my $5 a month to pay them is not enough... I need to pay at lest $25 a month to stop the daily/weekly phone calls from them. There is just no way... I am making $8.23 an hour at the moment.. and making around 16 to 23 hours a week... and taking home around $87 to $106 a week. out of that it mainly goes for food for me and my pets. The the rest goes to pay what little bills I can and for gas in the car for the person that drives me to and from work. I didn't even make $6k last year because of all the time I was off of work. They keep telling me to ask family and friends for the money to pay them... my friends and family are no better off then I am and I don't feel like asking them to starve to pay my bills... And I would never ever open up donations to have others help pay my bills ether... I have seen what people do to others on here when they do that... I hardly deal with people in the real world so I highly doubt I can deal with people on here saying I am lying about my bills and not to help me because its a scam. I have seen it happen to a few people and frankly its not my cup of tea. I'll find something else to make this work...

I was just told about what happen the other day on here.. I tend to try and stay out of drama as much as I can because my life has seemed to be full of it so much as of late. That been said I can not leave at this point an time nor would I ever leave. I have tried other art sites that allow you to post adult art and frankly I am tired of having to conform to others ideas, clicks, and or be as good as the best artist on the sight in order to just get my image past the submission stage. I don't have time to deal that and frankly I don't feel like dealing with "This image was rejected do to the shading being off and the coloring is not up to par as to what else is in your gallery".

So I am staying here, this seems to be an alright place and I tend to get an alright amount of people that seem to like my adult art.

So this past week I have been blind sided... My dog that I grew up with got sick over the weekend, She had been fighting cancer and congestive heart failure for the past two years. She got sick and couldn't keep food down over the weekend and Monday we made the hard call that the kindest thing for her would to be to put her down and end her fight.

On top of losing my dog who was like a sister to me I had to deal with being blamed for coworker be fire from my place of employment... and I some how got him arrested as well for stalking and sexual harassment. Some people where turn about this and only a handful hated me for it... when in fact I had nothing to do with any of that. Did I not feel safe around him? No I didn't feel safe after having him follow me around from store to store while on loa and him trying to break up my sister and her boyfriend. Did I tell anyone about what he did? Yes I verbally spoke with the proper people at work about what happen out side of the store. I was told to alert members of management if he tried anything while at work. Did I make a written report/call the hotline/cops on him? No I did not... I did not think/feel I had enough evidence against him and it was more he said she said and it would never hold up in court let alone at work.

I am also working on trying to fix my laptops hover heating problem as well.. which is causing memory dumps while working in photoshop... which was working on my YCH auction yesterday before work and I lost all work on it because the laptop over heated.

This week the world is just weighing in on me and nothing is going right... and I am sorry to thous that are waiting on stuff from me.. I am doing the best I can do at the moment within regards to fighting off the feeling of loss and depression to get said art done.

I am not one to really try and do new year resolutions... but I want to try and not be as sick this new year... these past few months have been hard and I don't want to have to go through this again any time soon. I would also like to finally be living in the same house with my boyfriend... Its been a long haul for the both of us and I feel its time that we try and make this work.



In other news Wild Reign is still looking for members. If you remember kayfedewa's comic The Blackblood Alliance You may like to look in to this wolf rp forum. The forum takes places some years after what happen in the comic. you can play as one of your own characters or you could try out to play one of the many comic characters that are still free at the moment to play. If you don't feel like rping you can ways just be member and take part in this awesome forum! http://wildreign.com/forum/index.php

Now that I have been released to go back to work I would finally catch what has been going back and forth around the house for the past month or so. this time it sees its bacterial bronchitis.. up till this past week I was fine and doing well before I went back to work for one night get super stressed out and then bam I get sick and start coughing up this stuff that looks like its spaghetti and turns out is a sure sign of bronchitis... turns out that is solid mucus that has been sitting in my lungs that took on the shape of the bronchial tubes... this kind of explains why the cold and flu meds are not working and why when I start coughing and it goes on for a long time I see spots and or it gets dark and black. Now I have to see if I can get in to see my doctor with out having to pay a $280 bill up front... all I have is like $40 at moment till I get my first check from being back to work nest week.. and then its going to be another week or two before I get another check seeing as I don't have hours again till the second week January =/

So I had my surgery on the 19th, It didn't take near as long as I thought it would. I am glad to report I didn't had any problems during surgery. as of a day ago however I started to get an infection in the one incisions around my belly button. Which is the only one that has a steri strip on it still. I also just haven't had the brain power to get back in to drawing just yet. They had me 7.5 lortabs four to five times a day and I have never really been on pain medications like this before. I was sleeping most of the time after the surgery, I would wake up for an hour or two and then pass out for another few hours. and this went on for the first four days after getting home.

With that being said, there really was something wrong with my gallbladder, It had a lot of tiny stones and a lot of sludge within it. Sadly I couldn't take any part of the gallbladder home with me... I did get this really nice photo of it Link

With any luck after the holiday is over I should be back to myself and back to working on owed commissions.

I also have changed the date for this YCH auction Link its now going on till the 4th of December

Finally got the date for my surgery. I'll be having my Gallbladder removed on the 19th. I just got in the mail all the pre-op information and discharge info in a packet. From the looks as if I was right in my think that I wont be able to get on here the first two days after the surgery. I do have good news how ever, I have fixed the desktop computer up for drawing and such and i have been using it for around 4 to 5 hours a day now to get back to using it. I'll more then likely wont be using my lap top much after the surgery, I was looking in to getting a bed tray for it but sadly being short on cash for many things has made spending very whats the word I am looking for.... budget restrictive with unneeded items... and really where as a bed tray would of helped and made things a bit easier on me I just cant justify spending $20 to $30 on one when I need low fat and low protein food which tends to cost so much and my pets need food as well.

Any way... I am going to stay open for art commissions right up till the day before I have my surgery. As I said in my last journal post I am welling to draw adult themed art, I am also ok with drawing M/M F/F as well as M/F when it comes to the adult themed art.

I'll also still be doing your character here auctions as well so keep an eye out for more of them.

If you would like to learn more about getting an image commissioned from me please check out the following links.
Commission info and FAQ about my art

Alright seeing as how long the last journal got.. I thought I would make a new one.

As I said in the last journal I was going to see the surgeon on the 30th (yesterday) I could hardly sleep nor could I keep my self from worrying that I am just going to be told the same thing that I have been for the past while. which is that its in my head, its Irritable bowel syndrome and my all time favorite one I am having pain because I am fat.

I am happy to report that this surgeon fully believes me. He looked at all me test results and said to me just because these test come back and say nothing is wrong doesn't mean that there isn't anything wrong. In fact he said he had seen that many times. He also said that with my family history It would warrant exploratory surgery to see what is going on.

I'll be having surgery some time with in the nest three weeks to have my gallbladder taken out. My surgeon said he cant guarantee that taking my gallbladder out will stop my pain 100% but its a place to start.

I am going to try and stay open for art commissions right up till the day I have my surgery. I'll also be taking the day of and the following two days off to rest and get back in to the swing of things.

As I said in my last journal post I am welling to draw porn art, I am also ok with drawing M/M F/F as well as M/F when it comes to the porn art.

If you would like to learn more about getting an image commissioned from me please check out the following links.
Commission info and FAQ about my art

***UPDATE #2***

So just wanted to update this a bit. I have seen the Gastroenterologist, they claim there is nothing to be done because all the test say its clearly not my gallbladder and more then likely Irritable bowel syndrome and or in my head... but they can't really say for sure whats causing the pain or know whats causing the pain. I was told I need to go on a low fat diet... I don't know how much lower in fat I can get my diet seeing as all I eat is wheat thins, jello, pop tarts, frozen peaches, rice, and low fat soup... if I so much as stray from this I get pain on my side, sick to my stomach and dizzy. I really don't like this doctor or his office at all.. the last time i went to him he said the same thing to me and it turned out I had a large number of ovarian cysts on my right ovary, a few of them popped at the same time and some of them where pulling on scaring and making the pain worse. I was told I'll never find anyone who would take the gallbladder out of a women whom is as young as I am with all the test are negative. This doctor didn't even want to hear about my family history... Doesn't matter that my grandmother and grandfather on my mothers side both had to have there gallbladders removed.. nor does it matter that my mother had hers removed... and lets forget my two sisters both had theirs removed as well... oh and lets just forget that both my sisters showed negative in all there testing right up till they had exploratory surgery... and it was found out that once they removed the gallbladder that the oldest had a gallbladder that was so fat you couldn't see through it with ultrasound and she had quite a few gallstones in the gallbladder. The younger one had a gallbladder that was so fat you couldn't see through it with ultrasound ether but she had sludge in her's. They where told after they had there gallbladders out that they had acute cholecystitis... which is inflammation of the gallbladder and it can be hard to diagnose at times.

So After all that the other day... I am going to see a surgeon on the 30th.. and not just any surgeon.. but the one that took my older sisters gallbladder out to see he would be more apt to do exploratory surgery on me and maybe even remove my gallbladder.

I Also finally got the paper work for not only New York State Disability but my L.O.A time paper work came in as well.. which f.y.i... they didn't send all the paper work for the L.O.A time.. all in one letter... and the paper work i really needed to fill out wasn't in the first letter.. and they wanted that paper work filled out by a doctor and sent in by no later then the day after i got the paper work... which was a Saturday... So yeah.. I am going to get a doctor on a Sunday to fill paper work out and send it out in the mail.. on a Sunday. Oh and I was told by my HR and healthcare provider that there would be paper work in the booklet that I had yet to get for New York State Disability.. and they couldn't just give me a number to call to get started on that. Well after getting the missing paperwork emailed to me.. turns out no paperwork but a number... the same number as my healthcare provider... and I have no idea why one of them couldn't of just transfer me in the fist place to the disability call center...

After getting that paper work filled out which was a fucking joke in of it self... I went to go fax the info at my place of work because I be la broke and afford faxing seven pages of paper at officemax when its like $3 a page and all i have left of my money is $3 till I get my first disability check. Faxing out the disability paper work wasn't to hard... thou I think they got like three to four copies because I don't know how to use work's fax. The paper work for the L.O.A time was some what harder.. first the number they gave me was wrong then... all i was getting was a busy message.. I cal my HR back and they said it could take any where from an hour to three hours to get a fax in because they only have one fax number and to keep trying. At that point i am really happy I didn't go to officemax.. be my luck that i would be charged for trying to resend the papers because the line was busy.. any ways i told the women on the phone I don't have time to sit in the back room of my work trying to fax papers out when I am in pain and should be home resting. Finally got the email address for HR and was told to send the papers as a pdf file to them. That's alright no problem.. I can do that... but wouldn't you know... my scanner/printer can not find the computer.. and wont talk to the computer with out having the computer talk to it first. I spent like an hour trying to get the stupid paper work scanned.. and then I had to find a program to combined the three .pdf pages together. This past week has just been a really fucking joke.


Anyways, I still have a copy Payday the heist on steam for $10 now.. that's half off of what steam wants for the game. this copy hasn't been downloaded nor installed on Steam as of yet and can be sent to anyone after payment is received and a friend request is sent so I can send it as a gift. (Left 4 Dead 2 has already been sold)

I am also still open for commission, and at this moment I am willing to draw porn for money. So if your interested please send me a note or an email at Morobutt[at]gmail.com Just make sure you "commission as a subject title.


***UPDATE 1***

So I got the test results back on the Hida scan, that came back as nothing is wrong ether. I was also finally given something fro the pain... tylenol with codeine.. which just takes the edge off of the pain at the moment. I use to fall a sleep from it but I am slowly starting to stay awake with it. I have an appointment with an Gastroenterologist in two days to see if maybe exploratory surgery maybe needed to find out what is going on and what is causing the pain. I am off of work on medial leave of absence at the moment because I can not manage the pain I am in... I cant eat much of anything that has high fat content and or high protein content in them. I also cant do much lifting or bending over without being put in to a lot of pain. and as such can not do my job... At most I am well enough to go out shopping for at the most three to four hours if I use the little power carts... if I don't use the carts I am only able to be out and about for around an hour at most now.

Honesty I really just want to get better and get back to work... been off of work now for three weeks now and I am going crazy... because I cant really do much of anything but sit and watch tv, draw or play video games... I can hardly even play with my dog Baine... who so badly wants to play with me but I cant because of the pain.

I am trying to get New York State Disability to try and help make up for the lack of a paycheck at the moment.. so far no papers have been sent out to be filled out by my doctor. so I am still going to be doing commissions till I can at lest get the New York State Disability coming in.

I also have a copy of Left 4 dead 2 and Payday the heist that hasn't been downloaded nor installed on Steam I am welling to sell if need be to make quick money.

---

Well my move across the county has sadly been put on hold for a while... turns out I am sicker then I thought I was. Three weeks ago I stated to have really bad pain in my left side under my rib cage. At first it floored me and felt like someone took a burning red hot poker and stuck it through my rib cage from the back to the front. I stumbled through my house trying to get help and ended up just curling up in a ball at the foot of the stairs in the living room crying while i waited for someone to find me.

Thankfully I didn't sit for long and my father found me. He took me to the doctor and it looks like my gallbladder needs to come out. I have a long family history of gallbladder disease. My mothers mother and father had theirs removed as well as my mother and mt two sisters. I am the only women in my family that has yet to have it removed.

So far the test have came back as nothing is wrong... which doesn't shock me seeing as both my sisters had the same problem because there gallbladders where to thick to see through on the ultrasound.

I had a Hida scan on Friday witch is like a gallbladder function test I am waiting for the test results for that at the moment.

For the time being I'll be taking a few commissions.. for prices and types you can find that here, You can note me on here or email me at Morobutt[at]gmail.com with questions about commissions or asking for one.

May also be doing a few 'Your character here' auctions which is a pre-made pose commission for sale.. will be looking over so wips of personal art and warm up sketches that didn't didn't go any where for these.