idk if anyone cares omf but I'm obviously posting stuff so uh. yeah. Back in the new york groove.

Yeah I'm not really making anything I feel is worth posting so I'm gonna just go for a bit *rolls away*

BUT I LIKE USING COLOURS. How do. I'm just terrible at picking colours I suppose. Hurr. |D

I apologise for anyone's poor eyeballs

I've set up streaming stuff (finally) on my laptop so uh. If you wanna watch me stream? It's Join.me so yeh.

I'm not gonna like, post links or whatever, cuz idk if anyone'd be interested (I really doubt it but it doesn't hurt to ask, huh?). Just lemme know if you wanna watch? I do a bunch of requests, and  kolbejack is there 9 times outta 10.

So I got one chib pokemon commission done! : D First complete commission ever, yaaay.

I'm waiting on a ref for a google streetview one (you can send a note if you're interested in one of those, I'm not gonna officially open them any time soon I don't think), but I'm excited to do that one too!

I'm still open for chib poke commissions (still $5)! I think I'm gonna save whatever money I get from commissions to pre-order the Hoenn remakes for me and my frond uvu Much excite!

But yeaaah, this week has been really slow so far, I hope you guys're having a good time though <:

I wanna try out commissions with something simple/fun?? And everyone likes pokemon so yay

$5 for one pkmn, another five is added for every pkmn you ask for I guess? Does that sound good (it sounds good to me but I know I need a second opinion)?

They'd look like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14314273/

I'll have five slots for starters? Much excite @-@

Update:

One slot filled, maybe two, three/four more are left! Feelin' pretty good about taking commissions so far <:

I wanna try out commissions with something simple/fun?? And everyone likes pokemon so yay

$5 for one pkmn, another five is added for every pkmn you ask for I guess? Does that sound good (it sounds good to me but I know I need a second opinion)?

They'd look like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14314273/

I'll have five slots for starters? Much excite @-@

so I made a paypal acct, now I just need someone to teach me how to use it xD but now I can take commissions, in theory?? yay??

now I'm just gonna go do all the other stuff on my to-do list, but comment if you want commissions/can help me understand how this whole paypal thing works, yeah? ovo

I kinda wanna try painting?? like, tangible painting, with tubes and paintbrushes and such???

but idk where to even start xD if anyone has any suggestions maybe?? like, for types of paints, good brands, etc.? please and thank you!


Edit: commissions? I might do $5 (not a set price just like a starting point rn) commissions of stuff like http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14159213/ ?

like, doodles over google streetview pics? would anyone be interested in that??? .0.

I have been trying to wrap my head around photoshop elements 8 for a LONG TIME now and I just

I'm so done

why does this fucking program require a fucking genius to use, I don't understand

everything is a fucking struggle, I see cool and simple SAI tutorials EVERYWHERE but google something to find out how to do it on photoshop and you get a fucking essay full of technical terms and nothing of actual use

it's like trying to dig a grave, but instead of a shovel, I've got a fuckin' plastic cheap-ass spork

so done rn

just figured I should inform anyone who wants to know that I post doodles on my twitter? It's a recent thing but hey.

(I also just tweet whatever crap I'm thinking at the moment too, so I guess you should be warned about that |Y)

anyway, my twitter usename's mystycwater (shocking I know)

EDIT: THE LINK IS ALREADY ON MY PROFILE yay less work for me

nothin really happening lately, my traditional art is currently better than my digital art *flops*

hope you're all doing well

I am making them, coooooookies : D

haven't been really active lately *dies* (I wonder if anybody actually waits for me to update (I doubt it))

it's already the 8th of January! absolutely crazy, imo. time's already going by so fast.

I hope I can post something soon, just for the sake of putting something up, hah.

Hope you all are doing well, and had good holidays uwu

I went and saw Thor: The Dark World all by myself last night uwu

I was really indecisive about going because I'd be alone but at the last second I went fuck it and went to see it. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't and I'm really, really glad I went.

What're you guys up to?

I'm terrible at titles xD anyway, I've been okay lately. Still not very motivated to do things but eh, I figure that'll come back with time.

I'm thinking of redesigning my 'sona :0 I have some ideas, I just gotta figure out how to use 'em uwu

How're you guys?

heeeey guys I'm back -v-

I've been shrinking away from contact with my friends lately. It just doesn't feel like they have time for me anymore. I've been trying to deal with a lot of things and, I don't know.

I don't feel like I'm worth their time, worth anyone's time and care. Nobody's really proven me wrong.

For now at least I wish I at the very least had someone to talk to who won't take my bullshit, won't let me take my bullshit, or my lies. Someone who'll stick around and prove me wrong, y'know?

I've never had that though, except for once. I'm starting to think people like that aren't the kind one comes across more than once in a lifetime.

TL;DR I might not be posting journals for a while. I don't want to bother anyone.

I've been a total asshole to everyone lately, and I have no excuses.

I have the rest of my life ahead of me and it just feels like impending doom, y'know? Like an execution date.

I'm so frustrated I could cry, and I'm just supremely grumpy as I dunno what. I haven't been sleeping much, I'm stressed, idk.

I have no idea what to do, what I'm going to do. I just have a fuckload of questions and no answers. Tbh, I just want to go away and not come back for a loooong time. I don't even know where I'd go, though.

I'm stuck, so stuck right now. And I can't even stop thinking about it. It's taking over everything and I have no way to stop it. I just wish I knew what to do, how to obtain the answers I need.

I'm considering not talking to anyone for a while, because of the royal asshole that I have become under the weight of this. It's bothering everyone I know.

Heeey. I'm actually on the computer for once, wooooow. I wish I had a chance to get on more often D< Anyway I'mma go art now, might post shite later. Hope you guys're having a good day.

'cause mine sucked.

So I'm now a high school dropout. Cool. But that means that I'm also a teenager with no qualifications to get even the simplest job.

I have a pet, whom I have to put first when considering any and all life choices because I love him to bits and wouldn't ever do otherwise.

And I have a metric shitton of psychological issues that haven't been worked through, in part because I can't afford to go see a psychologist or therapist, but mostly because I avoid confrontation like the plague, even when it's with myself.

I'm 18 in 7 1/2 months, and I really, really don't want to sit around doing nothing but blogging and being terribly lonely all the time, especially because it doesn't help at all with the aforementioned issues.

I also can't get a license because apparently it will triple my mum's car insurance (DON'T ASK I DON'T KNOW EITHER. One of my friends has pointed out the flaws in that, and I can see the insanity of it just as well).

I would like to get a job and get started on the rest of my life, but. Well. If you've read this far you can see why that would be an extremely difficult task.

Basically I'm up shit creek without a paddle and I have no bloody clue what to do now, and everyone I ask is useless to me because they either A) don't have enough experience to help or B) has life experience but has no experience with these kind of problems.

Also it REALLY REALLY sucks ASS that my own MUM keeps telling me, in not as few words, to just suck it up and get a job. *headdesks*

I'm just. UUUUUGh.

I'm gonna try and pick up a new hobby or something! Something to help me relax and stuff, because I've been really tense and unhappy lately, and that's just dumb. I don't wanna be unhappy.

If you guys have any suggestions of cool hobbies that I should look into/try?? Or just something relaxing and fun that someone that doesn't have a car/job/friends can do! That would be awesome : D Thankies!!

P.S. I'm really bad at using brush settings in PSE so if ANYONE wants to give any advice or their own brush settings, that would be GREAT kthx

I'm just really at a loss and I don't know what to do now and everyone I ask has no answers for me and I can't just make a post or a journal to ask because nobody on the internet cares about me even if they follow me or whatever. I have no fucking clue and I'm really stressed and frustrated and just overall upset. gfdi.

So, idk. I might be dropping out of high school? It's looking really likely *deep sigh*

Earlier this year I stopped attending public high school and then I switched to an online school, because I was overwhelmed by my anxiety.

And now it's gotten bad again, and I'm stuck.

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. It would be easier if I could just take school one class at a time, or work my way up to multiple classes, but there are things like semester requirements and stuff, and it just doesn't work that way.

I have a lot of shit that I will probably be struggling with for the rest of my life, and it's all holding me back from completing things as simple as online classes. To be able to catch up on time and pass all my classes in the time limit I've been given, I would have to work past all of it in a matter of weeks, which is literally impossible.

So. Idk. I don't know what to do. If anyone wants to be reassuring or try helping out or smthing, leave a comment I guess?