I've come across a scalie named Iggy who has been in the fandom for a while and is in need of a kidney transplant. Seems to be another kind person who's been fucked over by health. Him being in the US, I imagine this is even harder to deal with right now.

I don't normally do signal boosts, but this felt important enough to do so. I am not in the US and am broke, so there isn't much I can do. But maybe sharing this here will do some good.

His site is here and explains his situation in detail: https://www.iggyland.org/

Anyone who can contibute more than me, even if it is to boost to spaces closer to people that can help him than myself, go for it.

I don't have the mental energy to say much, and as a nonUSican, I'd rather not make an uninformed statement.

However, this journals by The Tied Tigress makes some very important points about censorship, and the creeping fundamentalism in the US that is threatening communities like ours.

I am not in a position to do much except signal boost them. But those of you in the US may have the power to do something.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11140572/

I don't care about being blocked. I can be quite block-happy myself. But what I don't get are those who watch my page, or fave a bunch of my gallery, and then block.

Like, What?

It just weirds me out. I could speculate that maybe it is a bot flagging art it wants to pick and then blocking to avoid repeated picks, but this was a legitimate user as far as I can tell.

Oh well, anyways. I'm probably going to delete this later. Just wanted to whine.

As part of wanting to focus more on my creativity, I've been focusing on writing stories lately. Its a good outlet to have - especially since I am not in a place to commission art at the moment - and I feel like I've been hitting a good stride, even though dredging the inspiration and the words to communicate things remains difficult. It is weird, although I write for a living, writing stories is a whole different animal than research reports and articles.

I have a hankering for sharing them. I want to get some constructive critique on what and how I can improve things, but also because I am curious if any reader will resonate with what I write. But I am self-conscious and find it hard to share things of myself, especially the stories which tend to have some gnarly imagery and abstract themes like exploring the concept of the Self.

Ideally, here would be the place to publish them. Thematically, they will be most at home here and here is also where I have the biggest following. I have also already explored the setting of the stories with artwork and posted them here. So it seems the most sensible place. The stories in general are scifi-fantasy-horror. Many of them lately are about the demons in my setting, and exploring/expositing how their world, perceptions, and cosmology works. Anthros are present but very understated (the scifi half of the setting is much more focused on anthros).

At the same time though, I've never been sure if FA is particularly good for stories. And even if it is, is it a good place to get constructive/editing critique?

Are there other places I can publish? Any suggestions? Thoughts?

I dislike making posts as those about current events, but I cannot deny the importance this site and the community around it has for me. It is probably one of the platforms I can express myself the freeest, and it allowed me to communicate, come in contact and be inspired by many others. For all its faults, it has not fallen prey to enshittification that plagues the rest of this dead internet.

For that, I am thankful to Dragoneer. I did not know him so I cannot claim any personal interactions. But I know he was a far from perfect person, though I feel his intentions for this community and what he wanted to make with FA were. And I think it has offered a formative place for many of us. It is a tragic loss for the fandom, and the circumstances around it are an appalling injustice that should not be forgotten no matter what one's opinion of 'Neer were.

For future: I don't think the site is going anywhere. It seems those news of FA's crash were fake. Overall, I would really hope that whoever is still in the team can ride the outpouring of support to do the right thing for the fandom. If it does however, I...probably won't bother with a new account. Or make only enough to stake my name and my claim. My page is not just a gallery, it is a history. I like to go back and reminisce at times, as I do with some other art and artists. Losing all that history would *suck*.

I loathe social media. Anyone who had the misfortune to see me post on Twitter will know how angry I post. Way I see it, it is a trashfire and I see no harm pouring more fuel in it. Bsky, eh. Same format even if it is less toxic. Facebook: My human account there, I treat very much like my FA account here. But they are separate. I cannot image my content there and I don't want it. Other galleries? Eh, reuploading all my stuff will not feel the same. Some of my posts were done in very specific times and mentalities, I can't replicate that. Instagram is for Sidal. Doesn't leave that much else.

Won't stop being in the fandom, though losing here would steal my biggest presence in it. I'll probably still float about in telegram. But it certainly will be a diminished experience.

I'll probably delete this. Or not. I don't know.

I get these messages now and then and they seem to go in one of three ways:

1) Sometimes we will strike a conversation and it'll go well and we'll become regular correspondences. It is the rarest of them all and there is usually some sort of foundation to it.

2) Person actually wants to RP which...my libido has been nonexistent over the past year, and my RP mood has been even less so. So it ends in disappointment and awkward trailing off.

3) Conversation is attempted and trails off.

2 and 3 are most often. And...dunno. Like, I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. I comment around a lot and I guess it gives the impression of someone more interesting? More chatty? More exciting?

As it stands, I am introverted, socially awkward and generally stand-offish as a person. Especially where there is no foundational reason to talk about, I don't exactly open up to people right away.

And I guess it is...disappointing to people? A few contacts I added on 2 and 3, I tried to keep the conversation and contact up because I am trying to be better about the whole contact thing that cost me friendships in the past. But I don't think I am good at it. Or at the people no longer seem interested?

I don't know man, social interactions are weird and difficult and I struggle with them at the best of times, let alone these days when life is ceaselessly fucking me with a sandpaper dildo. It just feels performative to message when I have nothing new to say and nothing uplifting to add.

Eh. I just feel like most of those who message me asking for a chat leave disappointed at seeing behind the facade.

I don't do much updates here. But figure I might as well, since I am planning to re-jig my gallery a bit and will likely go through a bit of an upload drought.

So, first things first: Life. It is...not going well. I left my job last year and took some time off to focus on mental health, family and my partner. I also sought to work on my professional development to gain some confidence at what I do, since I had completely lost that. I hoped that the combination of these would help me score something with better progression prospects and definitely with better pay, since my overall income hasn't really changed since 2011.

Unfortunately, so far that plan hasn't worked out. You know how life and job search is. Long story short, I had no real successes and at this point, my best option looks like another entry level position despite +10 years in the workforce. It fucking sucks. And it has impacted my mental health really negatively. I am lucky that I have a partner who supports me through thick and thin. However, the fear of losing what I have built with him is giving me sleepless nights.

Please, I don't want to hear "You're smart, you'll get something good." or anything of the like. I'd rather hear nothing than hear that.

Second off: Furry things: With work and finance situation as it is, I will likely not commission anything for the foreseeable future. It really sucks as I have quite a few ideas. And I have been pretty cavalier with art during lockdown. But at the current state of finances, I cannot justify. So, barring any free art I get or photos of Sidal I upload, gallery will be dormant for a bit.

On the other furry note, I am looking to retire my crux, Helix. I always sought to express something with him but unfortunately, he never really truly fit that. I think I will recycle some of the concepts I tried to express there and work them into a demonic character I dubbed Rhssdl, since it is somewhere between Russ and Sidal. I think I have a much better rounded sense of what Rhssdl is compared to what Helix is. So, it is one of the arts I am looking to get once finances stabilise.

Not much else on this end. Just life and survival-mode at the moment. I hope you are all keeping well.

I've already seen others comment on this.

Been getting a lot of follows from these profiles that just have the default PFP, a string of letters, numbers and phrases that look like what bot profiles on twitter use. And no content other than a disproportionate amount of watches and faves.

For example, an account created last month watched 2000+. My oldass account is barely hitting 1000 only now.

I get that some people will use backup profiles to follow stuff, or are using fa from places where they can't show much for their own safety. But the sheer number of profiles of this sort that have been watching me lately don't feel like this.

It mostly feels like botnets harvesting art. Maybe for twitter/telegram/discord/etc... Repost pages. Or maybe AI training. Fuck if I know.

In any case, I'm getting annoyed by them. I like seeing actual profiles with actual people watching and Faving my stuff. Not these bots who couldn't give two shits.

Haven't resorted to blocking them just yet. Blocked a few that looked like they were made last week or had some yikes stuff among the stuff they Faved. But getting really tempted to start blocking those profiles first and ask questions later.

I have ideas for a few artworks. I'm looking for recommendations for artists who may be able to get them done or whose styles may work well for the concepts I have in mind.

All demonic or occult themed.

Any suggestions for artists on any of them would be welcome.

1) The first piece I want to get is of my demon, Sidal the Golden. I do not have any images of him, but I have dressed up as him, so can use RL photos as reference: https://www.dropbox.com/s/2hp6jx6m4.....estly.jpg?dl=0 https://www.dropbox.com/s/c26p0dnlu.....emple.jpg?dl=0 https://www.dropbox.com/s/o1q59buyx.....oseup.jpg?dl=0

Looking for an artist that combines stylish and realistic elements and can make the black-gold contrast pop. Thinking of a fairly simple pose, maybe boing a Baphomet gesture. Could alternatively have him holding a heart in one hand and a ritual dagger in the other. I'm open to backgrounds but would rather focus on Sidal himself.

Alternatively could be cool to have a piece with Russ at a ritual circle, possibly posing; Sidal behind him with his hands/claws on Russ' shoulders.

Some artists I've already looked at for my own reference:

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/howlitzer/ - Very good at the black-and-gold looks and mystical themes. Unfortunately they didn't seem interested in the idea.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/saf - Keeping an eye open on them for when they open commissions, but at the moment, they are only doing Sketches.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/kampfkewob - Again, need to keep an eye on commission slots via Twitter.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/pacelic/ - Doesn't seem open to commissions.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/thorlath987/ - Checking with them now.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/wanderingyena/ - Possible future piece with a different but related concept
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/scuotivento/ - For Rhssdl Art?

2) This one is going to be fan art for a game: Cult of the Lamb. I fell in love with the concept the moment I watched the trailer. I know the game isn't due out for a little while, but I would like get something based on this trailer: https://youtu.be/2VD9obADeeA

Chibi-style, Lamb selects Russ to be sacrificed, Russ looks positively giddy.

3) I have a third idea that is very vague. I had a deeply cathartic experience during a meditation session and I'd like to show how that internal conversation went. Possibly in a comic page style with multiple panels with a flavour resembling a Night Physics comic (https://www.furaffinity.net/view/46637187/). But I appreciate that is not doable. If we have to dial down the ideas, then I would be up for mid-meditation Russ with a puzzled expression while Baphomet looks at him with a comically-annoyed "Think Hardeeeeer >:( " face.

Edit: [NO LONGER NEEDED] - Just keeping this here as reference.

TL:DR: I need recommendations for an artist who can do me a refsheet.

So, for a long-long time I've been getting art and working without refsheets. Usually it worked fine. Sometimes it allowed artists to come up with interesting interpretations that ended up becoming part of my 'sona.

But I am feeling more and more the need for a refsheet. There are some changes I want to do to my 'sona. Nothing drastic. Just want to emphasize the "cyber" part of the cybercheetah a bit more.

Thing is, with some of the ideas and changes, I don't have a clear idea how it is supposed to look or be portrayed. So I will need to work with an artist who can interpret what I am trying to get across. That's why I don't want to approach just any artist for a refsheet but go to one who can not only do a good work but will so through about 5 pages of notes about the changes and adjustments I want to make and things I want to express.

I went around a few artists already. One attempted to do a runner with my money, the rest did not want to take the idea on board because it was a difficult topic. And some didn't want to deal with some of the subject matter that would be depicted (drugs and/or guns).

So, I need an artist who will:

1) Have a fairly realistic and coherent/competent style. - I like stylised art but given that this is a refsheet, I'd prefer it to be realistic.
2) Be willing to discuss/work with me to get across some of the things I am trying to portray/get across and be ok with five pages worth of notes on the matter.
3) Be comfortable with some of the subject matter that could be depicted in the ref-sheet.

I am happy to be flexible there. This isn't a my-way-or-the-highway situation. But I do want for it to be as perfect and accurate as possible because it'll be a refsheet I'll use in subsequent art.

Can anyone recommend someone who can fit into these categories?