It’s been a while since I last posted a journal. A lot has happened since my last one.

On the positive end, I’m in school again. I decided I was tired of waiting table and working in retail so last fall I got the ball rolling on my education to get me on a long term career path. In January I started my schooling to become a massage therapist. By next year I’ll be able to write my board exams to become a full RMT (Registered Massage Therapist). To those outside of Canada, it may a “masseuse” thing, which it isn’t lol I actually hate that term. Canada takes massage therapy pretty seriously so in a lot of places it requires extensive training and schooling (especially Ontario, BC, Newfoundland, New Brunswick, and I believe most rescently PEI. The massage regulated Provinces.) which I’ve already completed 6 months of.

So that’s good on a professional level, but things haven’t been so good personally...

On Wednesday night this past week my boyfriend and I had a long talk and decided to break up. This was on the 19(kinda into the 20th since it was late lol) and our 4 year anniversary was on Friday the 21st. We still counted it as 4 years though and the break up has been amicable, we’re still going to be friends and he’s helping me look for a new place.
This is obviously as stressful as it is heart breaking, and with Pride being this weekend in Toronto, it’s hard not being in the mood for the same celebration that originally brought us together.
My boyfriend, I guess now ex, was never a furry and it was always a bit awkward explaining things to him.... especially a person with my kinks. I learned a lot about myself form this experience. I know that I don’t want to date again for a while lol and I also don’t feel that monogamy is for me. I think moving forward I really want to see how open relationships work out if both parties agree to fair ground rules.

It’s a trying time right now, but hopefully in a few months when things have settled more, I’ll be feeling 100% again. Along with balancing my school stuff I want to start drawing more frequently again (not just refs) and I want to be more free to chat as well.

Not sure who all will read this, but I appreciate anyone who takes the time ^^

I’m sure a lot of people didn’t think I was going to be back; but like so many others, I just couldn’t stay away. And really, I never did. I abandoned this page in favour of another one I’ve been using,
 Anonymouslurker357 ughhh that name.. what was I thinking lol.

So I’m back... sort of. I plan to use this page again for a little while, but to get a fresh start I might make Anonymouslurker357 my new account in the near future. For now, I haven’t posted anything there yet.

Anyway, this was just a short journal to say that I’m still around. I’ll have more details next time.

The last year and a bit has been pretty busy and as anyone who watches my page know, I really haven't been all that active hear in 2 years. And this journal is to say that this will not be changing any time soon. I have no inspiration to draw nor the time to do it with my work schedule. On top of that, aside from the friends I have in the fandom (most of whom I don't talk to nearly as much as I should) I've felt myself sort of drifting away from it all.

I wouldn't expect any new art from me any time in the near future. If I do make something and feel like posting it I will. I will continue to fave and watch regularly. My "A Midnight Snack" comic will not be finished. I started but I just lost the drive to finish it. The remaining pages are rough sketches that I won't post unless I clean them up a bit, which again, likely won't happen any time soon in the foreseeable future. I'm really sorry to all those who might have been enjoying it, but I can't force myself to work on it.

I've deleted any real life pics of myself from my submissions with the exception of the before and after pics from my surgery, which there will be a link at the bottom of the journal.

I'm really not upset or resentful. There's no drama, no judges, none of that nonsense. I'm just entering a new phase in my life and I'm honestly really happy. Thank you to everyone who's ever commented or faved my work or watched my profile. I appreciate it and you can still try and contact me. The friends I have I will of course continue you to talk to. I'm really just not going to be active very active here or on any of my other accounts on other sites anymore.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16909964/

It's been a while since my last journal so, first off; everything went great with my recovery after the surgery. There's only a couple little creases left as well as the scars of course but it's improving. I only ended up taking my pain killers for 2 and half days after my surgery, they were really fucking up my sleep and I had little pain anyway. I still have one last appointment in another couple of months for the final after pics so I'll be posting those when I get them in case anyone was curious :3

I returned to work a little over a month ago and I've been crazy busy since. Getting up at 5am every morning, starting at 7am finishing at around 4:30pm or 5pm most days. It's leaving be very tired and especially since I have only had Sunday's off these past few weeks but hope fully some Saturdays off are on the horizon. On the positive side of things, I've got my benefits now and I also got a pay raise, though obviously some additional responsibilities have been dished out to me too. On the negative side It's leaving me less time to work on my art even when I'm actually in the mood to work on something.

And lastly since getting the go ahead from my surgeon, I've been working out 5 days a week on average, I lost a lot of muscles while I was recovering but now i hope to gain back my strength and a hell of a lot more. My workouts unfortunately are also going to be taking up time that I could spend drawing. I normally hit the weights right after work unless I'm completely exhausted, but as you can imagine; finishing a 9 hours day of work and then working out for 45 minutes to an hour afterwards leaves me pretty damn tired too.

In spite of all the real life interferences, I'm not going anywhere any time soon, I love this site, and the friends I have here, and I appreciate the patience of all my watchers. Work and weight lifting are taking priority for the next while, hopefully work slows down a bit soon. But I'm still sketching every so often and I'll trying and get some pics finished and posted soon.

Hello all, I'm still alive lol. Though it wouldn't have been surgical incompetence that would have killed me, but in fact abject BOREDOM.

I was early for my appointment so that all my paperwork could get sorted out. Also it was fucking -35C with wind chill yesterday so I was eager to get there before the wind got stronger or the temperature dropped lower. I was supposed to be at the hospital for 10:30am, which I was, and my actual surgery time was supposed to be for 12:30pm. A full hour later and I was finally being sent to the operating room. I understand my surgeon is a busy man and he had a little complication with his first patient of the day, but the nursing staff telling me he was on his way at 11:00 only made me more anxious to get moving and get it over with. This all would have been ok if not for 2 thing; the first being that I could eat or drink anything for 8 hours before my surgery. And the second, I had come down with a head cold 2 days earlier and now it was slowly creeping into my chest. Those 2 things made waiting for 4 hours rather uncomfortable.

The surgery itself as I can assume went smoothly. My chest was both swollen and numb, the numbness was probably a good thing XD The first nights sleep was a little awkward to say the least, I'm not use to sleeping on my back. They prescribed me Tylenol with Codeine which has been great for the pain limiting down to just a little soreness. A bit of the swelling has gone down already and though my cold still has me feeling a little shitty, I'm really not In all that much pain ^^

I'll make more (and shorter) updates as time goes on. Just wanted to let everyone know how I'm doing. I'll be posting before and after pics of my chest once I get the after pics taken, likely in a week and a half at my follow-up appointment with the surgeon.

Sorry for the title I just wanted something to catch peoples attention.

It's true though. As some of you may remember this journal HERE that I posted some time ago, I have a bit of Gynecomastia and I finally want it dealt with.

Well, the time has finally come, and though I never opened up a link for donations.. I've been working my tail off at my job for the past 5 months saving up the money needed for my surgery. Certain surgeries are usually covered by our health care system up here in Canada, but since this is more of a cosmetic thing... I have to pay out of pocket. Back in November I at last had enough money and I booked my surgery date for the 7th of January, tomorrow.

The doctor who's doing it has a good track record and though I don't really care for the hospital at which I'm having it at, I trust in his skills.

I'm excited for this procedure, and I'm positive that it will go smoothly and I'll have a good strong recovery. It's really NOT major surgery. Though if something were to go wrong I would just like to let everyone know that I've really enjoyed my time on this site and I've been happy to meet so many awesome people. <3

Like I said though, I'm sure it'll go fine ^^

I know at this point at the rate that I'm working on art lately have no plans of opening commissions anytime in the near future. I may however, start accepting donations once I have an account set up for it.

I'm not sure what you'd all think of my motive for doing it but it's just a thought. Suffice to say, I quite literally want to get something off my chest.

Some of you may have heard of the condition called Gynecomastia which typically occurs in teenaged boys around puberty.
I developed it when I was 13 and to say it bothered me would be a MASSIVE understatement. Between teasing and people just generally drawing attention to them I have become quite self-conscious about my chest. At the time my doctor told me that I would grow out of it in a year or 2...

NOW almost 10 fucking years later I still have the goddamned things! TRUE they have gotten smaller with help from working out and whatnot, but it's still not good enough. No fucking doctor can give me a straight answer and blood work confirms that I'm perfectly healthy. Needless to say I'm fed up and I believe it's time to get serious. I only recently read somewhere that I could have had it done when I was 18 or under and it would have been covered under OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) which is contrary to what some asshat of a plastic surgeon told me when I was 17. You really can't trust anyone... (unless of course he was correct and what I read was false but whatever)

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it'll cost me but once I have a job again I plan to start setting aside money to have the reduction surgery done. I figured that I would open up donation just for the hell of it since at this point every little bit would count. My arts still non-profit and I plan to keep it that way.

My minds made up, but I'm curious what you all might think, if anyone is concerned or whatever.

I'm just in a bit of a grump right now, so excuse me if I'm a little surly.

Not mine but a good friend of mine is opening commissions to make some money.

Details here ===>http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4425876/

He could really use the business, so help him out if you can, every little bit counts ^^

Don't really know what to say about it, but it's a milestone and I hope for another thousand more watchers to come :3

My 1000 watcher is  giantlover75

I've been getting busier lately, but if I have time I might do a little something special for him ^^

Anyway, I'd like to thank all of my watchers, I really appreciate your support, your faves, and your comments. They always inspire me to continue doing what I do <3


lol I hope that didn't come across too much like an acceptance speech at the the academy awards ceremony. Anyway, love you guys! <3

Does anybody know of any good practice exercises for sharpening ones skill at drawing their characters consistently?

I've been having issues lately with keeping my character designs consistent (looking the same from one picture to another and even just in different angles)

Any help will be hugely appreciated ^^;

Lol yeah... I did have a long ass journal posted here, but after reading it over a few more times... it came off as kind of embarrassing. I get a little down some times but what I had posted was WAY more preachy than I would have liked.

Any way, did regard this journal, I'll be wiping it soon XD

Yup I'm 22 today ^^;

I'll leave it at that, I'm not really one to make too big of a deal about my birthdays anymore.

I'd like to apologize to my watchers for last year, having posted very little compared to previous years. Between work and changes in my mood, I barely posted anything new let alone putting a dent in my comic which is now moving into it's THIRD YEAR x.x

I will not make promises that I will post a lot this year, as I have now idea how my job might affect when I can work on my art. However I will say that I'll try to keep stuff coming to the best of my ability. I'm in sort of an experimental phase with the way I draw out my work, I'm trying new thing and if you've seen my scraps gallery you might have notice the slightly rougher sketchier style I've been working with. I'd like what people think about that, as I might start using that a little more than the crisp line that I usually have in my finished work.

I'd also like to make point of say that I don't think I will ever open for commissions, as my work ethic and art turn over is erratic and all over the place at best and hopelessly inconsistent at it's worst. I can, if I focus enough, start and finish a piece in a day and sometime in just a few hours. I've done it before, but finding the mix of free time and the drive to do it has been difficult.

What I will promise is that whatever I work on this year, I will take the usual time and care that I do, to bring you my very best ^^

...

P.S.
Also just a few other mentions to see who's still reading this:
- I'll be turning 22 on the 30th of this month which I'll probably post the a short obligatory journal for that when it come.
- As well I'm fast approaching my 1000th watcher, so I'm thinking of doing a special request for the person whom it is ^.~
- And lastly, I'll hopefully be on Skype a little more, I've been a little busy lately.

Anyway that's all from me for now ^^

It's for a good cause, check out the link for prices...

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4137763/

Don't worry, it's not a big deal...
I've been feeling pretty good lately and have been looking at things in a much more positive light. I'm just visiting a couple of friend for the next week and a bit in London (Ontario, Canada) ^^

Having said that, I apologize if I'm a little slow to reply.

Also I should mention that I merged my MSN and Skype accounts together so I will be using only Skype from now on.

It's been another long period of time with no art and no updates in general, so now seemed to be as good a time as any to post one...

On a positive note, I still have my job and work has been keeping me busy A LOT lately, which has actually been good for 2 reasons.

1) I've been making some decent money, which is always nice.
AND...
2) It been helping me keep my mind off of shit...

For the last few months I've been putting up with this depression that comes and goes. Some days are worse than others but over all it hasn't been too bad. Only until recently however that its been a lot worse and has been consuming my thoughts more often. It mostly centers around the feelings of being directionless; not knowing what career path I want to take in life, the uncertainty of everything around me, and just the general sense of frustration I get when I see or hear about other people I went to school with succeeding and pressing forward with there lives.

My art being on hold these last few months is partially due to my busy and tiring work schedule, but a bigger part of it has been because of the aforementioned depression. I really do love working on my art with all my usual fetishes that I feature in it, but for the last little while I've just been lacking the will power to draw anything. I want to make it clear that I am NOT leaving the fandom or this site and that hope I regain the will to draw again soon.

The other thing I would like to mention is that I finally have proper internet at my house. I have for a few months now and it's been AWESOME to have regular access to it again, This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to on MSN or Skype all the time though, because of my work frequently keeping me on for double shifts, and because of the feeling of apathy and boredom I get for my recent bouts of depression I'm surprised I sign in at all some days. Which leads me to another thing I should mention about RP's...

I really do love to RP and I have a lot of really great people that I like to RP with. However its beginning to get rather annoying when to have people message me and then almost immediately phase into and RP with out even asking if I was in the mood to. Lately I REALLY haven't been in the mood all that often and even though I may play along a little and reply back, but I'm doing so to be polite most of the time. I've noticed I'm not alone and a few people have posted journals recently about this same complaint, so I would like to make the following very clear...

Though I am NOT taking a break form RPs all together, I would however really appreciate it if people would ASK ME before they start up with and RP when talking with me. By asking me first, I might also allow us to set up some sort of direction for the role play. As much as I love improvisational RPs it would be nice to start by knowing;

Who am I?! (I have a few characters, which one are you addressing?)
Who are you? (other have multiple characters too so it would be nice to know who I'm talking to with some introduction) And lastly..
Where are we, are we and what are we doing? (Have even a slight idea about the scene we are jumping into help a lot)

(One last thing on this topic which I feel needs restating) For those messaging me for the first time... People who send me a note bluntly saying "Wanna RP?" or even just "RP ?" Without ANY attempt to introduce themselves or at least say HI... I'm sorry but those people are assholes!
If you want to RP with me I want to know a little bit about the guy behind the fur... and if there isn't one then at least tell me a little about about yourself in character if you must. I really do love meeting new people and please feel free to note me, but if you're only after an RP try to engage me in a conversation first. ITS CALLED BREAKING THE ICE, PEOPLE.

Finally, I would like to apologize to those I haven't been keeping contact with as well as I should. I haven't been answering my notes or appearing on MSN for the same reasons previously mentioned (not necessarily including that bit about RPs lol) I'm not purposely ignoring anyone, I just have a bad tendency to loose track of who I was talking to after a while. So if you're reading this. Please feel free to send me a note or a shout and we'll try to get back in touch ^^

That's all for now. I'm hoping I can return to my art soon so I can resume work on my comic and other pieces I've been working on. I wouldn't say that I've been taking a break, that implies that I actually actively decided to stop for a while. I'd rather say I'm on a mental hiatus... or emotional artist block, whatever you want to call it.
Anyway anyone has some words of wisdom or encouragement, they would be greatly appreciated.

First of all … I HAS JOBS!!! ^^

After 5 years and a lot of persistence I finally got hired for a part time job as a buser at a really nice Italian restaurant in Niagara-on-the-Lake. I’ve actually been working there for a little over a month now. I’ve been meaning to post a journal about it for a while now but haven’t done so until now for 2 reasons… The first being that I didn’t want to get ahead only to find out that I didn’t get the job, and the second; when I get off work I’m normally too fucking tired to struggle with my shitty internet at home to get online >.<

That said I apologize to any all of those who I’ve been chatting with through notes. I’ll message you all back ASAP I love our conversations and RPs and I don’t want them to stop.

As for comic updates; I have begun inking pages 9 and 10 of “A Midnight Snack”, an unfortunate side effect of working long or physically exhausting shifts at work usually means that I come home too tired or just lacking the creative energy to work on my art. However now that I’m starting to get use to the routine I’ve recently started to draw again.

That’s about it for now. I’m still not exactly sure when I’ll be getting better internet, but now that I have a job the chances that I’ll be getting it soon… I hope ^^;

Keeping with a promise I made to myself, I have been trying to post more art his year and more frequently. However my busy and unpredictable schedule is getting to be a pain in the ass and I'm not able to post my art as often as I would like. To add to this dilemma; the plans to get better Internet at my place have been brought to what I hope is only, a temporary standstill. I'm having to wait to post finished art when and where I can, but that's been the case since I started on here... so no change there <_<

Good news for those who may be following my "A Midnight Snack" comic; page 5 is finally complete and ready to be posted. I've just started inking page 6 and with any luck that will be finished shortly ^^ I'd like to apologize for how long this is taking and I know I keep saying it, but I'll try to post more pages ASAP. I'm also working on a few other projects at the same time, so I'm hoping to do a bit of a submission dump the next time I get a chance.

Anyway... that's about it for now.

I hope everybody's weekend is going good ^^

Been a while since my last journal, so I figured I’d make an update :3

Another year has passed and I’m going to be another year older. On January 30th I’ll be turning 21! Wooo … well not that it’s really important, I live in Canada so I’ve been legally able to drink for over a year now.

As for other updates, I’m slowly starting to get back into an art creating mind set. I’ve been both too busy and too lazy to create anything what with the recent holidays and everything. The next page of my “A Midnight Snack” comic will be coming soon, I have a late gift for a very close friend of mine that requires my attention first.

As I’ve done a couple of times in the past… I’ve overloaded my self with art, both my own and some with some requests *facepaw*. Therefore, as of now requests are CLOSED until further notice and trades are also CLOSED until further notice. (Any request that I might be currently working on are still on my "to do list" so I just beg patients)

Commissions might be opening within another month; I still have pricing to draw up and some other things to sort out. Once commissions are open it will be first come, first server and there will only be 2 spots open at any given time. It’s all I will be able to handle for now with my unpredictable schedule.

And as far me getting better Internet at home… things are looking better, there is a good possibility that sometime soon I will FINALLY be getting some decent internet hooked up at my house. The sooner the better, I’m fucking tired of AOL and dial-up! I feel like I’m trapped in the mid 90’s >.<

Anyway, I think that’s all for now ^^

So

And I got a call from my Dad to tell me that our house got broken into...

lol

He broke in through the back door (my dog is a TERRIBLE guard dog XD) and worked his way around the house while no one was home. The police were called when our neighbor saw him snooping around the house. 6 police cruisers converged on the house and jumped out of my Dad's bedroom window and took off into the vine yard (our house is in wine country surrounded by grape rows) ... the K9 unit caught him... ALL that he stole was a few of my Dad's porn DVDs XD LMAO

The guy was homeless, looked a bit like Adam Sandler and had already robbed the guy up the street before he came by our place.

So really nothing was stolen.

In other news, I got Assassin's Creed Revelations today! ^^

My very good friend  WyittLampwick bought it for me as and early Christmas present. I can't wait to play it.

So yeah, that was my day.

I don't usually make a point of making a journal about something so trivial, so I'll try to turn it into more of a general update XP

I had just gotten over one cold, only to be blind-sided by another... *facepaw* -_-; Still this one isn't nearly as bad as the last. All the same, it’s not helping my creativity.

There will be more comic pages will be coming soon, I think I might wait until I have a couple finished so I can do a bunch of posts at once. I'm also working on a couple of requests as well as a trade with  Ben_roprim which is nearly finished.

Also I might be starting commissions soon. I want to catch up with some of my art, once that’s done and I have my paypal account up and running I'll be able to officially start.

I still don't know if or when I might be getting better internet here, for now I have to make do with keeping in touch through notes here. As always, I may occasionally be able to get on MSN.

I think that’s about it for now.

My friend  Lelouch_Utsukukitsu is going through some very hard times right now and is in need of assistance.

He's willing to do cheap commissions. More details are here... http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2849213/

Every little bit helps, even if you don't want a commission, posting a journal like this one could make all the difference.

Your support will be greatly appriciated

I'm just trying to help out a friend in need.

PROS
01. I like when you draw: ___.
02. I wish you drew more: ___.
03. I wish you drew more fanart of: ___.
04. I wish you drew more original art of: ___.
05. I wish you drew a comic of/about: ___.
06. I wish you made a tutorial about: ___.
07. My favorite part of your work is: ___.

CONS
08. I dislike when you draw: ___.
09. I wish you drew less: ___.
10. My least favorite part of your work is: ___.

OTHER
11. If I had to describe your work I’d say: ___.
12. If I had a question to ask about your work it’d be: ___?
13. The main strength & weakness of your work is/are: ___ & ___

I'll appreciate any feedback you can give ^^

I'm working on ref sheets of my characters to update them and change their looks a bit, and at the moment I'm working on a ref sheet of my wolf, Ano.

So I have a question any of those who like this character... (or rather to be more specific, those who like his feet >:3)

The pads on his feet currently cover the entire sole of each foot, its been that way since I created him a year ago. Should I leave them as they are or should I change his pads so that they partially cover his soles? (eg: pads on his toes, the ball of his foot and his heel only)

I wanted to as you all what you think because really i'm undecided XD

Let me know what you think ^^


So far...

Keeping the full foot pads: 5

Changing to partial pads: 0

So yeah... not going to be online as much for a while...
Just like last time I AM NOT LEAVING but I'm not going to be on as much as i have been in the pas unless things change.
I might drop in from time to time but it might be to message someone or fave something... I'll try to post new stuff when I can and with any luck I'll have DSL at home soon to rid me of the slow useless dial-up *shakes fist at AOL*

Don't let that discourage you from messaging me though. I'll reply when I can, AOL suck and is slower than shit but it gets there in the end.

Anyway that's all for now. ^^