Back up the files on your flash drive periodically, so when you accidentally delete an entire chapter of b-snakes you have something recent to work from, instead of having to rewrite from scratch.

-Sincerely, Nequ

Your Galatea Government has received notice of a possible threat against you, the citizen. The threat is biological in nature, and affects the minds of those who are exposed to it. Your Galatea Government would like to ask these questions of you or anyone you know.

-Are you acting strangely?
-Have there been any lapses of memory, especially at night?
-Are there items or clothing you don't remember purchasing, especially of a sexual nature?
-Have you found any strange fluids in or on your home or personal effects?
-Have any strangers claimed to have met and/or had intercourse with you?
-Are you suffering strange headaches and/or have felt unusual desires?

If your answer to any of these questions is "yes", please contact the nearest law enforcement authourity or medical center immediately.

DON'T PANIC
Your Galatea Government
SPDG

I have to space them out, hide them between the chapters.

I have to keep the savages guessing.

I mean, hypothetically. It's just the middle chapter, but I need help with the pacing.

>sftp/get classified_BSnakes_classified.mtx
401 not logged in
please log in
please enter ID
>**************
please enter password
>*****
logging in...

login successful
>sftp/get classified_BSnakes_classified.mtx
retreiving...
file retreived
open/save?
>s
510 classified_BSnakes_classified.mtx cannot be saved: UNF general order 13443-1
>o
opening...

Almost every Brute weapon has a blade on it somewhere.

Makes one wonder what their genitalia is like.

This is what happens when I don't get enough sleep. Apologies for my musical tastes.

//Von Kreiger/Hellkat
Form: Saliva-Ladies and Gentlemen
Friend: Eagles of Death Metal-Boy's Bad News
Feline: Shakira-Don't Bother
Fillies: Wilson Pickett-Mustang Sally
Family: Guns N Roses-Welcome to the Jungle
Freshness: [url=]POD-Sleeping Awake[/url]
Filaments: Six MixALot-Baby Got Back
Farmstead: Will Smith-Wild Wild West
Fossils: Queens of the Stone Age-Sick, Sick, Sick

//Kitsune106
Fishery: The Little Mermaid-Under The Sea
Festivities: Nancy Sinatra-Bang Bang(My Baby Shot Me Down)

//hungryHungryHungryHippo987
Fishes: Alphaville-Big in Japan

//Nequ
Flesh: Napoleon XIV-They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa!
Fight: Elvis vs. JXL-A Little Less Coversation
Frost: The Dust Brothers-This Is Your Life
Foe: Gary Jules-Mad World

If you want your story added, just comment with the story URL and, optionally, your desired song.

Post transcribed by ***ERROR_203***.

Is this thing on?
Voice: Yep.
[Transcriber's note: the voice matches Euqen's.]
Hello. My name is Tom. I'm Euqen's roommate, twenty-seven, single, financially stable—
Euqen: [snicker] Get on with it. I'm running low on minutes.
Um, okay. I'm a reproductive sanitation facilitator—
Euqen: He cleans up—
Not just cleans. *Neutralizes*. Some of this...stuff is dangerous. The usual disater rules don't apply. This isn't something you can pile sandbags infront of.
Euqen: So, after the real heros are done, your guys come in in their yellow suits and—
Deal with the contaminants.
Euqen: [snicker]
You laugh. But it's serious business.
Euqen: [snicker]
Alright, it was a month or two ago. Hot summer day, me and Ashley are just pulling up to the scene. We're the first ones there, because I'm the only one who actually uses those little GPSs they give us.
Euqen: I thought you said your partner was a guy.
Biologically.
Euqen: Oh.
I'm already in the suit. I put it on mostly before we left, 'cause it's faster that way. There's some stuff&151;I didn't know what yet—up to a centimeter on the ground. I'm just sealing my headpiece, planning a perimiter, setting priorities, when there's a shadow. We, like any decent monster movie characters, look up. Guess what comes down on us?
Euqen: Get *this*, sports fans.
We found out later that she had been a patch developer for a local producer. She had been cooking up her own witch's brew during lunch time and after hours. Wannabe mad scientist. Anyway, horny macro, and we look up just in time for what feels like an aquarium of her...*juice* to come down on us. It was a giant drop.
Euqen: I'm not sure the surface tension was enough for that.
What?
Euqen: A drop is formed by a liquid gathering and not being able to hold under it's own surface tension. So it drips, to lessen that tension.
How do you know this?
Euqen: I've been doing research after what happened at the store.
Ah.

What's important is that Ashley didn't have his suit sealed. When those aphrodisiacs, hormones, and probably some good ol' chaos magic hit him like a ton of bricks, it mixed with the residual hormones in his system—
Euqen: What hormones?
Estrogen, among other things.
Euqen: You said—
-he was *biologically* male. And, he had recently realized, mentally too.
Euqen: Oh.
Anyway, it changed him. Into a giant macro herm. If the van's autocams hadn't caught it, I wouldn't have believed it myself.
So now we have two macros. One a horny herm, the other a horny female. After a few minutes gawking, I grabbed some of the juice and put it in the van's analyzer, told it to cross-reference it with Ashley's most recent genetic profile—we check every week or so for just such an eventuality—then went into the van to change into the HEV suit, after I self-incinerated the yellows.
Euqen: Wait, like in the video game?
Actually, it was an experimental suit that we had just picked up on the way to the site. Enchanced strength, senses, balance, targeting, coordination. Autofits itself to the wearer. I knew I could cure Ashley, but not necessarily the female. But stopping Ashley alone would cut down on a lot of the damage.

I grabbed the hypogun and the vial the van's synthsizer spit out and stepped out. The couple had moved a mile through traffic, which had now completely stopped. I used magnetic grippers in the suit to 'grab' the frames of some nearby buildings and slingshot me forwards. I had just 'caught' the frame of one building when jets of milk-I hope-hit the building above and below me.
Euqen: You didn't.
You know that scene in <i>Advent Children</i>?
Euqen: No way.
Yes way.

So there I am, jumping from girder to glass to falling desk like the [expletive] Prince-of-[expletive]-*Persia*. I make it to safety on some rooftop, when they notice me, and start throwing cars at me.
Euqen: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, cars.
Think about this; buldings being destroyed, cars and other things flying about, and all I can think is *I have the best job ever.* I dodge the cars, and manage to 'skate' up the side of a building, then jump off and land on Ashley's shoulder. He-he?-*roars*, starts rolling over, and I fire the hypogun, fully aware that he could crush me before the stuff works.

Of course, it works right away, and we're suddenly a few dozen stories up, with no safety net. I grab Ashley, and swing him safely to ground. His eyes roll back in his head for a minute, and he rubs them so he can see me better. He's still kinda androgynous.

"Dude," he says, like I wounded him. "I was having *fun*!
Euqen: The end.
Is it the left button?
Euqen: No, it's the other one.
[beep]
[silence]
Did you talk to that therapist whose number I gave you?
Euqen: No.
Why not?
Euqen: Because I'm fine.
No. You're not.
[silence]
Euqen: It's still on.
[end call]

Call transcribed by <a href=">*ERROR_203*</a>

[Poster's voice is oddly distorted, reverb, perhaps. Dreamlike. Signal degredation suspected.]

The veil has been torn, the mask, shattered.

My veil, my mask, the ones I wear. All the time, every day, every night. In my sleep.

I have looked into a mirror, and faced my true self. And I was frightened.

I have lied to myself, of myself, for what seems like an eternity. The being, the face known as "Euqen", as "Nequ", that is not I.

Odd that I am only capable of this self-reflection while in this altered state. I'm not sure what kind of limbs I'll have from second to second, or how I'm operating this phone. There seems to be a remarkable amount of liquid. Thick liquid.

[Voice in the background, bemused: "We have made a mess, haven't we?"]

Yes, we have. Now shoo, Mommy's on the phone. She'll be off soon.

[Voice: "Okay." Movement, plastic tearing.]

I can see the trucks pulling up outside. Soon the men in the yellow suits will be here. Maybe Avery can meet Tom.

[Poster's voice clears dramatically.]
What have I done?

I am befouled.

And I must be clean.

Work at the store has been really picking up over the summer. Everyone keeps coming in and asking for Patches. No, we don't stock them, and we never will. Those things are dangerous. Try our other store, the one with the neon signs near the strip mall.

I support patch control, I do. I know some of you are saying that this must make me a filthy conservative. I don't care. They shouldn't have been released to the public in the first place. I mean, jeez, these are mil-grade mutagens you're putting in your bloodstream. And don't get me started on what happens when you mix them up.

I've heard rumors from my boss that he wants to start stocking them here too. We'll see about that.