Heads up! I'm no longer thirsty for birds, so I'm digging out unfinished art and posting it in scraps. Enjoy some sketchy lewds! :P

I'm in a "getting shit done" mode with a side of gaming (and of course procrastinating... I've got exec dysfunction, gimme a break!). Real-life problems just won't leave me alone, bc my flatmates ain't natural problem solvers... they're not even very practical to begin with. I have to go back to Mother-fucking-Russia for 3 awful anxiety-filled months because of Ukraine's stupid immigration policy. It turns out that I can't avoid this disgusting ordeal even if someone lucky enough to have been born in a more civilized country wished to save me via civil union, because my foreign passport has expired and I'm here "illegally". As if I've ever done anything wrong here! I'm just sitting quietly at home and contribute to local economy by buying groceries. Though probably not as much as they expect from a foreigner. They'd rather accept some shady characters that can afford buying homes, since governments only care about money. I wish the parliament got struck by a meteor or something. Or maybe it's my suspected BPD that wishes it. I really REALLY can't stand it when shit is unfair. Makes me so furious my breathing gets hitchy. Oh and I probably won't be able to get a decent therapist and antidepressants in that shitty town I'm from. Or call quits on life bc that'd traumatize my family. I soooo fucking hate life. I'll only have my old crappy laptop and I'll have to share a room with my sister for at least a month. Fucking shitty hell.

Pros: well, obviously, better pictures...

Cons: my older pictures look so bleh! >_<

I'm furry bc I like animals more than humans but their lack of sentience is boring and in some cases sorta disgusting (and first and foremost I mean breeding behavior, e.g. feline males murdering cubs that are not their own to force their mum into mating. And did I mention rape? There's entirely too much rape in the animal kingdom.)

I get aroused from videos of birds mating or masturbating (yeah they do that) even though there's no genitals visible. Just body language. Ppl not familiar with birds can't even tell what they're doing half the time, judging by comments. And no, I don't look for such videos on purpose (one can bump into them on regular bird-themed groups or blogs because they're considered SFW). Except when I was doing research on whether birds have orgasms or not (they do somehow, even without the rich innervation mammals' genitals have). Though it's possible to orgasm without touching your privates, even without bodily muscle contractions that accompany sexual actions, with just your brain. I've had a couple of braingasms and it feels transcendental. galaxy_brain.jpg

...next person that tells me to draw "more humanoid" dicks on bird characters is getting mocked severely, or lectured on the importance of facial expressions and body language, or both.

I said no more painting, and shortly after that my stupid emo brain made me wanna paint a feelsy pic to Disturbed "Sound of Silence" on repeat unironically. Not sure I'll ever finish and post it because my painted stuff is such a bland shame even after I spend hours and hours trying to make it look decent.

I've only just figured out the mature filter. Imagine a site hiding your own porn from you, lmao.

For now it's telling me I'm a shit painter and better stick to linearty stuffs. I kinda agree, and it feels liberating. Lemme just finish those I've already started, and no more paintings except messy backgrounds. Unless one day I just learn effortless speedpainting with dramatic contrasts (maybe by practicing backgrounds).