So my job is locked down. the conventions are locked down. im struggling here... anyone want to commission me whos not in the same predicament? I know where all having a difficult time but every little bit helps....

I can draw and do leather collars and wood paddles. So let me know your poison and ill do the best i can.

Thanks!

This is a test of your local Griffin. Broadcasting system. This is only a test....

Squaaaaaaaaaaawk!!!!!

Hopefully I have your attention now *grins*.

I have decided to try something a little different. I want to try leather collars and wooden paddles.
Leather collars will be $50 and wooden paddles will be $20. Wood will be random "from plywood to pine".
So who wants to commission me for a leather collar or paddle? I will have four slots open.

SLOTS! Not slits! I'm not that talented... lol
1.
2.
3.
4.

I hope 2020 is a better year... Last year sucked bad. My uncle died and now its just my dad and I in the direct family bloodline. My mom still lives in another town and shes not doing well either... Shes getting health signs and thinks she might not see 2021. So shes starting to get things in order. I had very little work last year. Barely made 7k, Deduct taxes, gas, rent, etc.. yea im basically below poverty wage. I dont know how many of you like trump but I fucking think hes full of shit when he says the economy is on the rise. For me its just getting worse... Im not a dem or a rep im independant. I see the good and bad on both sides and I dont vote cause I dont like politics.

I just hope something good happens this year.

All aboard the shiny train!!!

After seeing many artist doing the same i thought i join in.
Please feel free to tip me, and comment,
i appreciate every donation and i can say from the very bottom of my heart thank you!

If you want to know more about what this shinies thing is about click below

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9150534

Need commissions to cover rent.
So if anybody wants to help out please post below.

Sketches single character only:
Bust sketch $5.
Half body $10.
Full body $15.

Im still being tormented by a psychopath nutcase on my phone by texts. I cant block them.. Might have to change my number...
I just cant win... doing what i can to try and be positive... Im going to have to fill out a restraining order on this bitch. Really hope I can get her thrown in jail and the key thrown away... Shes tormenting both me and my dad.

I cant say much about it. somehow shes been able to find me on twitter and facebook. Hope she cant find me here.

I am beyond stressed, you have no idea what kind of crap I am going through. I can't even get my artwork out there. This is a second account for me it is separate from my main identity which I keep secret from here. The reason for that is most everybody knows I don't like yiff but at the same time I do as long as it's tasteful and Feral and hetro. I keep it separate from my real art account.
I wish I would go to sleep and never wake up. I am dealing with so much and keeping it away from everybody at home because I don't want them to worry and if they worry it stresses me out when I get stressed out I really get stressed out. Depression, Suicidal Thoughts. As far as I know I would never follow through with anything suicidal because don't want my mom or dad to be devastated. I am in a horrible situation right now. No matter how hard I try I can't get any Watchers or likes or favorites or subscribers to any of my pages more than what I've had in the last two to three years. It's as if I've gone invisible and nobody knows I exist, you don't realize my sales help me live. I have a small job that barely gives me any hours but it's all I have in this tiny pathetic and useless c********** little piece of s*** town that I live in and can't get out of. I need an clientele, I need sales I need people to spread the word about my art. But do they do it, no, why, because they're selfish and they don't give a s*** about anybody. They just look at someone's art and say oh that's nice I'll just save it to my computer and then they move on. They don't realize what type of pain Blood Sweat Agony depression emotional turmoil Financial turmoil that we as artists go through. We have not an audience followers subscribers comments on our artwork we go into depression. You don't realize how many artists kill themselves because they are invisible. I am trying and with every ounce of my being to not be in this depression. I will not be one of the masses only because my mother and father would be devastated. When they are gone in twenty years I am most likely going to be shortly after them if life gets this bad if not worse.

This world was not meant for me I have been born into the wrong species, the wrong time, and quite possibly the wrong world. I am single, I am celibate, I will not have a human companion because I do not like the idea of having a human companion. I have had many thoughts daily every day of being with a non-human creature, Dragon, Griffin, hippogriff, werewolf, the list goes on. All I want in life is stability.
All I want in life is a mate who I can love and who loves me who will hold me tight when I am in this kind of situation, keeping warm, one that mates with me when I am in the mood, and one that would want to mate with me everyday. Im losing the reason for living on this f****** horrible human infested planet.

I apologize for this horrible Journal, I am using voice to text on my tablet because my computer battery died in the middle of it and I had to a fit and shut my computer giving me a blood blister on my finger it took everything I had not to throw it through the wall, and not cuss out loud and disturb my dad in the Next Room.

Just because somebody else may be an artist and reading this and they say go get a life well guess what that cuts deep. Every negative thing you say about an artist can cause them to end it all. Artists are sensitive and delicate creatures. They are like plants, you must water them feed them care for them give them sunlight help them grow talk to them nourish them. If you do not do that the plant will die as does the artist spirit.

*fixed the terrible typos*

Id like to see your rendition of her. :)

Im not a good artist so ill just leave the real artists at work here.

If you want to draw her feel free to do so.

Shes ferral not anthro.
always available for mating. <3
loves the forest... :)
doesn't like the water... :(

Has a tendency to reflect some aspect of her mate in her physical body. Hence why shes part dragon.
Something about a spell cast on her or something in her past... we may never know...

so yea...

feel free to draw her and post a link to her on this journal or shout out :)

im not really on for commissions but im willing to accept 1 for now... who wants their character drawn?

If you want to see my arts just look at my gallery.

Headshot $5
Upper torso $10
Full Body $20.

Basic cell shaded

so not inspired in doing arts, more of a watcher and art admirer.
Im still here but just not that active. Hope ye are all safe with thos fires in the western states. yipes!

Work has been hecktic. Ive been super tired cant even focus on drawing right now.. But for the 2 of my clients please be patient i will get on the arts :)

Dreary weather making my fur and feathers all soggy. At least my scales are waterproof. *sighs*

Wish there was a dragon or fellow gryph to keep me company <3

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19151746/

Seriously? 26%? Hmm well I am part Avian, part Equine and part Dragon, so... its probably somewhat accurate XD LOL

Who to tag... oh! and
Tag Your it *chirp! chuckles*

---

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention
[ ] you find pets toys amusing
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[x] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and bring it back
Total: 1

[ ] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[ ] you love fish/meat
[ ] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car.
[x] you like when people pet your head
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[ ] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 1

[ ] you sleep a lot during daytime
[ ] you enjoy scaring birds
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[ ] you bite people if they annoy you
[ ] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[ ] milk or water is your favorite drink
Total: 0

[ ] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit
[x] you enjoy long walks in the park
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 1

[x] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[x] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[x] you really enjoy cuddling
[x] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[ ] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 4

[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[ ] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[ ] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[ ] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[ ] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 0

[ ] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it
[x] you refer to your self as an animal
[x] your username has something to do with animals
[x] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[x] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better
[x] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 5

[ ] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time
[ ] you like to say hi to strangers
[ ] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[x] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[ ] you like to eat grass
[ ] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Total: 1

Final total: 13

Take your score and multiply it by 2
Put your title as "I'm __% Furry"

I wana do something. If you wana commission me for a quickie sketch of your character let me know!

$5. each sketch.

I dont have any line arts that arent rated everyone *BLUSH* so just think of this one as black and white line art even though its not :P lol *squawk!!!!!* XD
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19151746/


Three slots open!
1.
2.
3.

I went through a heavy depression a while ago... As you can probably guess im kind of a mess.. My feathers are frayed, my talons are chipped, my hair is mangled and my hooves are a wreck..

I need love. I need something. Maybe commissions will help? I don't know but it will help me get my mind off things.

In any case ye be far better off not in my hooves. I know you pervs want to see a looksie under my tail but it be saved for a special someone. If they ever notice me >..>

ahem... oh nevermind. stop drooling.. ill show ya some tail eventually or just look at my old gallery arts :P

yiffy furs and scalys

Yea im still here and staring out my window waiting for my true love to come yet I know that will never happen in this life. Maybe the next life? I truly am not sure. It sucks to be alone. I look in the mirror and my reflection is not me. Who is this human looking back at me? I will never understand why I was born this way "a human". I would trade it all to be a dragon or gryphon if they ever existed. I believe in my heart they do exist but maybe on an interdimensional parallel plane of existence. Another world.

So alone...
Im equally male and female in spirit. Would i spend a year of my life as a real life gryphon? To have a mate and lay eggs bearing offspring from my womb?
Yes, yes I would. I would cherish every moment of every day I lived for that year. But I wouldn't want it to be a year. I would want it to be forever.

I can never gaze deep into a lovers eyes who i will never know. I dream sleepless dreams not knowing why I am here, What is my reason for existing. Was I born just to suffer? Ill never know. My life is along the lines of cold hard scientific facts. I know what I yearn for is impossible. But my heart aches and I cry if I think too much on it.

If ye wish it then it be granted :)

Iam opening up my fem hypogryph to fanart if anyone wants to draw her feel free to do so. Just let me know where the art is via a link in shouts. Be nice to her, shes needy :P

My pen stylus died! :( hope its just the battery or im sol. :(

So I want to know what you want me to draw and I will decide on what you guys tell me. Hows that for a cool journal entry :)

I try to favorite all of the amazing works but its like Lucile Ball in the chocolate factory. LOL

I envy you guys so much you have no idea. I look at your art, then I look at mine and It kills me.. Ive been doing art for years and i still cant draw worth a darn compared to you guys. But ill keep trying..


HUGS.

Not much else to do but practice drawing my sexy gryphdragon. So much to do so much to learn omg even though I know what to do and how to do it, training my hands is like trying to land on the moon with a chinese firecracker strapped to your tail feathers...

Though truth be told if that went off Id probably bypass the moon from shock LOL

Ill do a trade for art if you want me to draw something.

You draw my character I draw yours?

never done a trade before so lets see what happens.

I prefer my grayscale style so ill stick to that, you can do it in color if you like ;)

I am trying to get some practice in so a little challenge goes a long way. I know im not the best artist around and I have a lot to learn so please be nice.

Now let me tend my eggs, i dont want them getting cold. XD

Heres my reference http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18685460/
you can see my character laying an egg as well if you can view those images :P

I only have less than a hand full of friends. two understand my... unusual nature.
Others don't know me as well as they do. I still hide behind a mask "figuratively speaking"
I want so badly to have a friend near me who i can hang out with, talk with, study with. But alas, i am alone up in the cold weather town of nowhersville on the island of depression in the middle of who gives a fuck. So ya... Im trying very hard to not let depression pull me down like it has been...

So with that being said... I will try to throw a couple updated arts on here.. not promising anything though... Just saying im trying.

Sorry about the terrible journals.. Its my only way to vent.

Dealing with very cold temperatures "can see snow on the mountain"
Dealing with no drive to do anything but forcing myself to do something like read a book or something
Dealing with being stuck at home with family and not having enough funds to even think of going out on my own.

I want my own place. A small place. A place where I don't have neighbors, roommates, pets, etc. and I can still be safe. A place where I can afford to keep it warm in the winter and not worry about not being able to afford rent. I want a place where I can have solitude, peace, tranquility. I want people to like me and my art. I want people to recognize me as a good person who is not perfect but when I ask for help I don't expect it but I do appreciate it when somebody helps even though I have no way in returning the favor.

I want a life i can be proud of saying I lived rather than looking back when I am older and saying "What the fuck did I achieve in life? I wasted all those years trying for something and failed.. I worked my ass off and went into debt just to end up nowhere? Is this life?

NO!!!! It is not life.. it is death, misery, torture. Its like being paralyzed and seeing a mortician thinking your dead when hes got the bone saw cutting into your chest and you cant scream out or react in any way. your screaming in your mind "STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!" yet there's nothing you can do and before you die you can feel him ripping open your chest with the inverse pliers and you hear the crack of bone and the pain begins to fade as you finally die a horrible painful death.

I want so much more but it feels like im clawing at a wall covered in razor blades just to get past my learning dissability so i can somehow get a chance at a good lifelong career.

Why is life so unfair?

Sorry guys its just not my week....

Ya hit bottom.. slept for a while and got out of the depression. So tired.. tired of it all.. Parents are supportive of me but they could never know the pain and stress i deal with inside.

Sometimes... I think things I shouldnt.. things that are self destructive...


I cant think that way.. I have to push on. But with no money, no friends in my area, nothing just... nothing really. Im stuck.

I threw my phone accross the room on the floor. It didnt break since it hit the rug.. Im so frustrated. going nowhere.

Im sorry for being an emotional bitch/bird...