I DOOOOO! 8D
And for those of you who don't know who he is, he's the guy that recited and wrote the "We Are More" spoken-poem for the 2010 Winter Olympics!
He's working with a bunch of students to make a video (I won't say what until it's done) for the next few weeks, and me and 2 other girls are animating the transition scenes which will be sort of a 30-second cartoon to link the last and next scenes in the live-action part of the video. So we got to show him some of our animations today and I wanted to squeal and jump around with joy when he said mine was awesome. lol XD
He's the first celebrity that I've actually met and the fact that he's a famous Canadian poet makes it just that much more awesome!
I really look forward to working with him on this big project!

In my dream, me and my friends (Chelsea, Jessica, Andrew, Trissana, Kyle, and my acquaintances) went to a farm and were taking turns riding a jeep-like vehicle in groups of 5. There was the driver, then Jessica and Kyle behind him, then Andrew and Trissana behind them, and I was holding onto the back sort of like little kids do on shopping carts. We went over a bump and Kyle fell out; the driver ran over him. The driver stopped and we all ran out to help Kyle if he was still alive. He was laying half on his left side, half on his belly and I could see he had a black eye and was in a lot of pain. We rolled him onto his back carefully and he said he thought his leg might be broken. I saw that his left leg was practically severed about half-way up his thigh through a huge bloody tear in his jeans; his leg was totally crushed to smithereens with shredded muscle and hundreds of bone fragments, not mention all the blood... I called out to the others (the non-jeep group) to call for an ambulance... Then I woke up.
It was so vivid that I could almost smell the blood even after waking up... At least I think I know the reason why I had this dream. You see, Kyle is extremely depressed and taking medication, but on Friday he told me that his meds weren't working very well and that recently the depression had snuck back up into his life. I'm really worried he might do something stupid, and... Well, I've seen the cuts. Really bad ones... I don't think he'd really want me to tell any one this, but he never told me to keep it a secret and I'm pretty upset, so yeah... I try to be sort of "look at the silver lining" and stuff, but I'm just here clinging onto the back of the ride to hopelessly watch him get hurt just out of my reach. I wonder if I hadn't woken up, would the ambulance have gotten there in time? If it had, at least I could have that reassurance.
I don't know. Sorry for going on about my dreams all the time like this.

My mom told me about it; she'd been talking to Grandy (Grandma Sandy) and here's how their dialog went apparently:
G- So, Emily still doesn't have a boyfriend?
M- Nope.
G- You know... I wouldn't be surprised if she brought a girl home instead.
M- *chuckle* You might be right.
G- ...Is she interested in girls?
M- I don't know, why don't you ask her?
G- No, no, I'll just leave it.
It's interesting how long it's taking people to figure it out on their own. I've been out of the closet for almost 3 years now, yet no one in real life to my knowledge has figured it out on their own; every one who knows was told, so it's nice that some one is finally figuring it out.
My mom is still determined to believe I'm just going through a phase, but she did say "At least girls can't get you knocked up." so I don't know if that means she's okay with it or just looking at the bright side, but it's still a good thing... Right? And because I don't know how my mom feels about my sexuality, it's too much of a gamble to tell her about my crush in case she actually hates the idea about her daughter liking girls; on the other hand, it could help prove to her that I'm more than just bicurious.
I don't know if I should let the rest of my family, ie grandparents, uncles, aunts, know that I'm bisexual or just leave them to figure it out on their own. Especially with Grandy and Aunt Megan; Grandy pretty much figured it out on her own, she just needs confermation, and my aunt is my role model and my closest family member friend-wise aside from my mom.
I don't know, what do you guys think?

Paint is all fine and dandy, but I want to try something better.
And I know about Paint Tool SAI and how you have to download WINRAR and such, but I tried that before and failed epicly... :C
So yes, any suggestions?

Please, if you start to read it, read all of it. I want to figure out what this means...
Okay, so in my dream FBI-police-whatever people were trying to hunt down my brother and arrest him for something about, I don't remember the details, but there was lots of red and an apple. Any how, my mom got all of us in the van except for my stepdad for some reason, and we left with nothing but the clothes on our backs. We drove down the highway until the people looking for Charlie found us, then my mom cut off into the forest and we drove like that for hours. Eventually, we came to a mall/school building and I think my mom bought water of something, then we left again. She had mentioned something about buying a house for us to live in earlier, so I asked where and she pointed at this little pink house connected to the road. She said we were going to stay with our dad for a night in a place near some where called Salt Springs (i dont know if that's a real place, but ive never heard of a Salt Springs before this irl) Then, like it was a show or something, the scene switched. My dad and some woman were standing in front of a locker that you'd find in a highschool, but the room was really big, white, and had gigantic windows. I don't know how, but some how I knew my dad and the woman were in a relationship as they talked about the locker door; the conversation then changed to the ordeal about my brother. Then a man came into the room. He was the woman's son or something. The vibe he gave off in my dream still has me scared... He admitted to being the person who did it, whatever it was, and that he'd framed Charlie. Then... I don't remember much... The was lots of blood. Too much blood. He killed them. Then there was the woman's bloody hand dialing the phone, but the man was controlling her hand so that there wouldn't be his fingerprints. The scene switched back to every one in the van and my mom's cell was ringing, so she answered it. It was the man, he said "I'm coming for you." or "You're next." I don't remember which, but the "you" was referring to all of us in the van.
From there, I started to wake up and I can't really remember the rest... But it was still so strange... The weirdest part is that I was aware it was a dream the entire time. I kept thinking "I want to wake up. I want to wake up." and I could see everything like it was some sort of sick show. It was like I was a viewer watching a movie or something... Another weird thing is that, despite having this consciousness during the dream, I didn't feel sad or even upset when the man killed my dad and that woman, and I could hear my in-dream self's thoughts... But I can't seem to forget the killer's face...
I don't know. This dream was really fucked up. And I don't usually remember my dreams if I do dream. I don't know what it means... Yet, I'm surprisingly calm. I can hear my sister running around up stairs and my mom laughing as I lay here in bed. I don't hear Charlie... I'm going to go check on him; after that dream it'd be wrong not to.

What good are eyes if they do not see?
What good are ears if they do not hear?
What good is a mouth if it does not speak?
What good are hands if they do not feel?
What good are legs if they do not walk?
What good is a heart if it does not beat?
I say to you this,
My children of pessimissm;
You need not see with your eyes, but with your mind.
You need not hear to enjoy the music.
You need not speak with your mouth when feelings speak more.
You need not feel to create.
You need not walk to touch the Earth.
You need not a beating heart when it can love and break.
So to you,
The sad and the hopeless,
There will always be reason.
Reason to open your eyes.
Reason to listen.
Reason to move your lips.
Reason to touch.
Reason to have the ground beneath your feet.
Reason to be alive.
You are not the lost.
You are the chosen.

I might be hired to dogsit Charlie and Lucy again. And hopefully next time Charlie will bark less...

I was looking through an old letter and drawings my auntie Megan mailed me back in 2007. Yeah, they're pretty old, but every year since I got the mini package I take it out of my closet and look through it, reading the 3 page letter. Usually it makes me smile and laugh, but for some reason this time I started crying. First it was sad tears, then happy tears, then sad tears, etc. I don't know why I cried this time... Maybe it's because I miss Megan so much. She was my bestfriend before she left for Montreal; I still remember how she used to always come over and we'd walk to a coffee shop, no matter how far, and have some coffee... I hope she has enough money to come visit this next Christmas like she said.

So, due to my dogsitting, I didn't tell my dad about how I want to change up my living arrangement. I really want to do it ASAP so he has time to think about my request and so we'll be able to figure some thing out before school starts... I've been thinking about it for almost a year now, but I'm still scared that I'll hurt his feelings badly. He's my dad and I love him, but that house is just... it doesn't feel like a home. Yeah, I have the best luxuries over there; a laptop, scanner, printer, new clothes every other week, money from having a good reportcard... but I don't feel like that's the place that I'm supposed to live and I've learned to ignore that feeling, but it can't be healthy to do so.

Stress lvl: 0. There's things that I did and said last school year and in the summer that have really improved things for me and others. It hurts to say that some of the friends I lost nearly got rid of the stress, but it's true. And maybe it's because I no longer feel like I have to do and say things to match their ideas of the person they want me to be. I've also come clean to my parents when I lie to them, which is literally close to never; the only time I've lied to them is to protect one of my friend's privacy, but I still come clean and tell them why I felt like I had to lie. It helps. I feel like a better person and I've gotten out of my random depressions. Strangely enough, despite the lack of stress and negativity, it's become harder to keep my face blemish free. O.o'

Art and writing hasn't interested me like it used to... When I put my pen to the paper, the ideas don't flow like they used to. I have to think about what to write or draw, and even then some times I can't come up with any thing. It's troublesome to me because I was drawing before I could walk, and speaking better than most 6 year olds before I was even 4. Creativity is in my blood from generations that continue to go back farther than any of us can count. Drawing, writing, speaking. These things aren't only part of my identity, they make who I am and are so deeply rooted in my life, I can't imagine doing any thing else. And to have these things become uninteresting and difficult to do is like... there's no metaphor that can describe it. Maybe I just need to take a break from it, but then who am I without it? It is who I am.

I look forward to my two terms of cooking classes next school year; I can't survive off tea and noodle cups for the rest of my life! I really want to learn how to make leek soup, wanton noodle soup, bean paste buns, and smoked salmon. <3 I'm getting hungry just talking about them...

I think I'm going to apply for a job at my mom's work. They sell spa supplies, fireplaces, and hot tubs. Working some where like there would be really good in helping me reach my career goal! All I have to do is complete highschool with the grades I have now and go to collage for two years, perferably helped by a scholarship, and then I can work at an aqarium! And if I have job history in dealing with pool chemicals and whatnot, I'm much more likely to get a well-paying job. :) Plus, if I do apply and get the job, I get to work with my mom, so that's just an awesome bonus!


Welp, that's all I can really think of right now. I hope you all have a nice day.

I swear that this personality test that's been floating around in journals is amazing! It got every thing spot on except for the mention of rap music!

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Sympathetic

You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Warm

You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.

Scrupulous

You are an honest, fair person. You don't lie or cheat to get ahead. You treat others with respect and hope for the same in return.
You do not feel that you are above the rules that everyone else follows; you are definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Empathetic

You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.
You don't buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else's because unless you're happy you're incapable of making anyone else happy.

Friendly

You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you'd far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You're happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
You're not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don't view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

Understanding

You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested. With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.

Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.

Accessible

You're comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn't like what they see it's not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the "accessible" trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.
You don't see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.

Tender

You are gentle with others, both physically and emotionally. You are careful not to upset people and go out of your way to find the nicest way to say something. You naturally focus on the fact that the world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. More often than not, people with a high score on the "tender" trait enjoy spending time with children, love romantic movies, and are enthusiastic about making the world a better place.
You don't think of yourself as tough-minded or gruff, nor do you need to be seen as some kind of objective source of truth and rationality.

Your heart does

The kid I was babysitting was diagnosed with epilepsy.
I'm not upset that I lost my job (since I'm not qualified to care for him any more), but I am upset that such a good kid will spend the rest of his life having seizures.
Life is so cruel, especially to the people that never did anything wrong...

Okay, so I visited my Grandparents (on my dad's side) today and we looked through some old family photos. And I mean OLD; some of these pictures were of my great great grandparents!

Turns out my grandma's family ir 100% French and a very big one at that. She had 3 sisters and 2 brothers; that's 6 kids and that's only her imidiate family. Every one is really tall too. Like one of my great uncles is 6'7", the other was 6'6", my great aunts are 6'3", 6'5", and 6'1". My grandma was the odd one out at 5'5" or something. Her mother had cancer.

My grandpa's family is German and English. Turns out they aren't Swiss, it's just that the German half was living in Switzerland, but they're still all of German decent. That's his dad's side. His mom's side is from England and I didn't learn much about them. His family is all really tall too, some where in the 6' range, and they're a military family. I found the letter that the Navy sent his mom when he joined and was deployed for the first time; it was in really good condition too! And then I found some pictures of him receiving a metal from a govoner general short of guy, or at least I think that's what my grandma said.

There were lots of pictures of my dad and uncles, too. Seems like my dad had the same hairstyle his entire life. lol. And it was really weird seeing pictures of my uncle David with a full head of hair; it really didn't suit him well... There weren't many pictures of my uncle Todd, though, and he's the oldest child so it was sort of weird. And then there were a buttload of pictures of me and my cousin Matthew when we were babies, oh, and my cousin Andrew as well.

Sooo, yeah. We went swimming down by the river, too.

Yep.
It was 15 years ago that my mother had me.
15 years ago when my father's family celebrated the first girl born in over 100 years.
15 years ago that my Aunt Barb bought all my baby clothes.
15 years ago since I came into the world.
And every second of it has sped by far too. fast.
I still remember my 3rd birthday; the day that I took a bite out of the candle on my chocolate birthday cake. It's my first memory, and also my favorite. Sometimes I think I can still taste that candle, smell the faint smoke coming from it as the wick burnt. We still have that candle, and some how, it is one of the most important things to me. I'd be broken and miserable if we lost it; it's part of me in a way.
Fast forward two years and you have the best days of my life. Laughing and playing with my best friend Terri. I still remember the day that we put duct tape on her dog's tail and he ran around the house for an hour trying to chew it off before her mom finally had to cut the tape out. We got lectured for it and then watched some Barney the Dinosaur. She was my best friend in the entire world; we were like sisters. She became a model and we haven't talked for 6 years...
some where between my 3rd and 6th birthday, we got the two cats that changed my life. I was a spoiled little brat and would I literally cry for a week straight; I was a regular visitor at the clinic for dehydration and exhaustion. But then one day my mom and I were at a pet store and we came across an amazing little kitten. If we hadn't adopted Madi that day, she would have been put down. Some time later we adopted Nikie into the family. Those two cats changed my world. I learned how to be gentle and kind, they showed me that even beings that can't talk can feel, and most of all they gave me a friendship that I could always count on. They'd fallow me to the door when ever I left, and be waiting at my window for my return. And some where in all that time when these amazing felines lead me into becoming a real person, I was met with a baby sister. I had a gift back then; I knew the gender of a baby before the 2nd trimester was even over. All these things, showed me who I was at the time.
Quick, go to the next year. One of my cats got out of the house and never came back, and the other was put down. It wouldn't be until my 14th birthday that I learned she was not given away to a kind old lady who could afford her medicine. I have a brother now, he has the same name as my dad and it confuses me, so from those days on, he was known as Charlie instead. 6th birthday I remember getting a Barbie Dream House; it was the most amazing thing I could ask for. But all happiness has to come to an end. My parents leave each other and my world falls apart.
I'm 7 now and am seeing a councilor. And despite having my perfect world ripped away from me so young, I'm still a happy girl and shine light and hope into people's lives. I remember this is when we moved into the town I'm currently living in. The first day in our complex, a girl named Farah asks if I was to play on the swings with her. I never knew this girl would become my best friend and teach me how to be strong. She's the reason why I know how to make it every day, no matter what happens. This year, my brother turns two and we finally get to see our dad again; it felt like every thing was pulling back together.
A jump and a hop to being 9, now. Lots of things have happened. I've made new friends, lost a few of them to other kids my age, but such is life. Kids never have the same friends for long. I'm still best friends with Farah and things are going great. Some where between now and when I was 7, an amazing teacher named Mrs. May sees the person I could be. She is the woman that taught me how to count, read, spell, and you know what? She taught me my alphabet. That's right, it wasn't until some time after grade 1 that I knew what came after A. Times are tough, my mom struggles to make ends meet. We run out of food and can't afford more, so the church gives us some and that one kind act may have saved our lives. That makes me wish I had given religion more of a chance.
I'm however old now. Every thing begins to mash together to the point that I don't remember what happened at what age, but these are damn good times. Some where in all this mess, before I turn 13, I meet a girl named Danielle. She didn't fit in too well or really talk to any one, so one day I go up to her and ask, "Do you like horses, too?" That one simple sentence started the best, and possibly the worse, friendship of my life so far. We were two very different people, and yet the same. Nothing else mattered to me in those times but spending time with an amazingly strong and independent girl. You all know her as I live my life, just being a kid and taking life on as it comes.
Boom, my 13th birthday. Me and the family go to my favorite Thai restaurant to celebrate my first official day as a teenager. Times are good, I have lots of friends and family that care about me, but the good times start to fade again, this time without a reason. In what was pretty much just one mere week, I changed from the happy-go-lucky, optimistic, strong girl that every one knew and loved, into a sad, depressed, dark girl that forgot why the sun shines. I remember feeling so mad when people said I had changed, I wanted to believe I hadn't, but I now know that I had. Some where in this metamorphosis, I go out with a guy named Ben. Our relationship lasted only a week, but it wasn't a good one. He was nice to me, and I didn't know how to say no when he asked me out. The entire measly week that we're together, all he talks about is sex and crap like that. One day he tries to kiss me, I elbow him in the ribs. I didn't want that bastard to be my first kiss, and I'm glad he wasn't.
14th birthday has passed now, life has just become a sad and depressing haze of teen angst and clinging to the life I once had. Some where in all this, I forgot who I am and I can't seem to remember. I bite the bullet and live life. Shit happens, I make new friends, lose old friends, and even end a friendship. It wasn't the best year of my life, but I doubt it'll be the worse. Day by day I have reinvented myself, I try to become a new me while remembering all the lessons the old me learned. Confused as ever, I build a mask and hide behind it, only letting a few people see the face underneath.
Next scene. It's today. I'm me, I'm 15, and I'll be damned if I don't find something to make me happy. In the first minute of this age, I talk about it light heartily with friends on FaceBook. In the first hour, my dad tells me Happy Birthday. And for the half hour after that, I write this long journal; remembering more things than I can put into words. When I look back, every little thing has shaped me and build my character. And yeah, that was suddenly washed away one day, yeah, I don't know who I am. But I do know. I'm me, and I'll be damned if I turn out to be some one else. No matter what has happened, I've always known that in the end, I'll come out better than I ever was.

Happy Birthday to me.

Nothing seems real any more.
Everything is fake.
I mean, what's the point to any thing if it doesn't cause some emotion?
It's like some one robbed me of my feelings; sure, I still feel worried or angry or sad some times, but I don't feel any thing good.
I've also been eating less.
Like, portions you'd give to a little child, and no meat.
I haven't even really drank tea lately.
It's like all the colors of my world were washed away with the rain that's been pouring down in the past few days...
I don't know.
I just sort of live every day trying to find something to distract me from this lack of feelings, but I don't know what to draw or read and there's nothing to do on the computer.
FurAffinity and CocoRosie have been my lifelines. The two things helping me keep my mind off every thing.
I always try my best to hide my depression, no matter how small or big, from my parents because I don't want them to get worried or blame themselves, but I think my mom has picked up on it...
Just the other day I hadn't eaten much at dinner and she kept giving me these looks, like she was going through all the reasons that could cause my behavior and appetite lately.
It wouldn't be the first time she'd find out.
Last year the fucking school councilor told her about my depression without my permission, which I'm pretty sure is against the student-councilor confidentiality rule. I mean, yeah, it's fine to be worried and think my parents should know, but if I'm not cutting, drinking, or doing drugs, then there's no reason for them to!
It's not like I could cut even if I tried; I'm too chicken.
I don't even have the guts to think about doing it. Not that I would.
I don't know man... I sort of want to fall asleep and never wake up.
I'm not suicidal or any thing.
At least,
I don't think I am.
But I don't want to see a councilor; they've never worked for me in the past.
And I don't need fucking antidepressants. I've gone through this shit plenty of times before and I always make it... Medicine isn't necessary...
I feel lost.
Worthless.
Hopeless.
Nothing.
I am nothing.
So insignificant compared to any thing else...
I think I'll try to get some sleep.
But I probably won't be able to; I always just end up laying there for hours with not a thought in my head any ways...
What ever.
Thanks for reading if you did.

Right in the palm.
It just broke the skin, but it was bleeding before I even had a chance to pull the fork out.
It was not intentional, I'm just an idiot.
And it didn't even hurt.
The fork was stuck in my palm and it was kinda funny.
I feel like doing it again, just for the hell of it...
There's something wrong with me.
If you pictured me saying this with an uninterested, one-tone voice, then congrats, you were right.
I'm going to work on dem two requests now.

Yes, I know Canada Day was yesterday. But what ever.

I was watching a Canada Day video on YouTube just a moment ago, and a question was brought up. "What defines being Canadian?"

To be a Canadian is to be who you are without fear or judgement by the fellow members of your national community. You can be of any color, gender, religion, nationality. Anything. And you will be accepted for who you are entirely. You can leave your house with out any fear and return without any regrets.
To be a Canadian is to be you.

I am proud to be Canadian! <3

So, I'm thinking of making a paypal account, which means I'd be able to take commissions! But what I want to know is if any one would buy some thing if I took commissions?
I haven't thought of any prices yet, but everything would be cheap!

Anything and every thing.
I know they say it is better to draw for yourself and have no audience, than to draw for your audience and have no self. But I already have no self, so it's not a problem. jk jk
But really.
Do you want me to do more requests, draw one of my characters more often, realism, chibis, cartoony, more digital art, more pen & ink, colors, more freebie adoptables, ect. Anything.
I'd like to know what you guys want! :D
Please don't hold any suggestions back! The only thing I won't draw at all is anything sexual. So no boobies (as awesome as they are) or any thing; with the acception of my nude bust-shot pics, but you don't actually see any thing in those.

I've tried to ignore it and pretend it doesn't bother me, but today was the last straw.
FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE !!! JUST FUCK OFF ALL READY. ; A ;
Some of you may recall the fight me and her were having when I decided to end our friendship. It was something I hope to never have to relive.
I blocked all of her FA accounts after receiving a shout from her that stated: "You can't get rid of me. I will always be here, lingering, waiting for you to fall." as that comment made me feel threatened.
And since then, she's been picking on me at school.
It seems that if can't ruin my life online, she'll do it in reality.
She makes fun of me every possible chance, and if there isn't one, she makes one.
She abuses me emotionally and verbally and every time it pushes my self confidence lower and lower into the negatives until I just want to lock myself in the girls' bathroom and cry.
There are moments where we'll pretend to like each other to avoid trouble, but she won't. Let. Go.
She's even got to join in the torment.
I understand that I hurt her when I ended our friend ship, but was she not satisfied with the misery she caused me during our fight? Was that week or so of pain and hate not enough for her?
APPARENTLY IT WASN'T!
Today was the last day of school; we graduated from junior high.
It was supposed to be a happy day. And I was going to make the best of it when I didn't get the award for Best Art Student, despite having done the cover to the yearbook, painted the mural, and helped teach some of my Art Teacher's classes. Yeah. I put it behind me and told myself that it didn't matter.
So later I called my dad on his cell (I got the answering machine) to tell him I was hanging out with friend and would be late getting home.
But was there and while I was leaving the message she kept shouting
"Hey, Nibbler! Pass the weed already!"
"Emily, pass the cocaine!"
"Stop hogging!"
And the likes.
I wanted to burst into tears right then and there!
On the message I told my dad just to ignore her and then hung up.
My dad just got home and I asked him about it, he said he couldn't make out what she said. But if he did and believed her, I would honestly become suicidal. I'm not even kidding.
I'm on the verge of tears. I'm not going to cry 'cause my dad is around and he'd just yell at me for it, but I wish she'd just leave me alone already!
I don't know how much more of this I can take. And now she has an entire summer to make me miserable...
Fuck.
I just don't know what to do any more!
My dad's going out in a bit, I think I'll have a long cry when he leaves; that might help me feel a bit better......

What's this? Misserable-for-reasons-that-aren't-good-enough me is being happy for once?? It really isthe end of the world!

Summer's coming up! Hell yeah! That means no one will yell at me for wearing my bikini top around the house~ ;w;
And and and I actually have friends this year, so some one might be around to celebrate my birthday with me! That is, if I don't forget it about it again like last year...
And I got an example of what the yearbook cover will look like; it looks a~maz~ing! All glossy and whatnot. I'm proud to have made the cover!
I might be getting a new babysittig job, which means moar moneh! Sure, the mom smokes a bit of pot, but I live in Canada for the love of maple. Her daughters are so sweet; Nicole, Janel, and Lexi. And their dog, Karma, is really friendly. <3
I'm determined to eat my weight in strawberry pocky~
And the last school dance this year is supposed to be more supervised, which means less druggies and alcoholics, and less people attempting to dirty dance with me. Thank you, teachers! ;u;
I'm finally starting to understand my Math work, so there's a chance I won't fail! Same with science! I'm just not a circles and circuits girl....
*pokes her belly* I think I feel small abs! <3
And my sister found the Archie Comics; hello childhood memories, nice of you to come back.
I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE KRAFT DINNER! I CAN FINALLY FEED MYSELF! I don't need to survive off of tea and PB sammiches any moar!
I took a food-safe course and could get my cirtificate any day; I can get a job now!!
For once I have artist block when I'm already not in the mood to draw. :)
A certain some one has stopped emotionally bullying me.
I made a new friend who hasn't been exposed to the horrors of citrus fanfics; she's still safe from lemons for now. XD
The Chuck Norris joke poster on my fridge is still funny. <3
The garden at my Dad's house finally looks nice and I haven't killed any of the flowers yet!
And blah blah blah; I'm just really happy! So happy in fact that I was hugging people all day. Hugging. Hmm, maybe I developed some sort of disease that makes me willing to be affectionate?

I wanna add more to my list~
Theres groups like and whatnot, but I can find one for felines because I fail. Halp?

So inspirational ; w ;
http://www.nettserier.no/jellyvampire/1304892000/

...on school for this last term.
I know my parents would never allow it, but I honestly don't want to go.
It's too depressing.
I don't understand any thing of what we're doing; I don't give rat's ass about atoms/ions/ect, I could care less about symmetry and I don't see how it relates to grade 9 math (especially when I learned the EXACT same crap in grade 5).
My friends make me feel like a dumb ass 24/7 even though they don't mean to.
The only person I eat my lunch with every one hates.
It reminds me so much of the social life that I can't maintain; I can't get along with people irl. I just can't.
Every one always points out how depressing I am.
There's a group of younger students that stand outside of my locker and when I come by, they shout "Snuff out the unworthy" and laugh at me.
People keep trying to HUG me even though they know I can't stand it. I don't like to be touched, it's like if some one stuck their feet in your face when you have a fear of feet.
I just don't have the motivation to finish.
There's a student named Colin that's obsessing over me and it really creeps me out.
There's a girl I like, but I don't have the fucking guts to tell her...
I feel like a depressing storm cloud that rains on every one's parade even though I'm trying not to.
I've done more work on the yearbook so far than any one else; I've done the cover, back cover, credit page, principal's page, and the page number icon, and yet the art teacher wants me to do more. The cover was a hard enough project on it's own!
And so much more, but right now is another example of what I should add to this list; I feel like I'm burdening people with crap they don't want to know.
I just can't make any one person happy without making myself miserable...

She knows your favorite commercials
She's willing to stay up all night watching murder shows with you just to say 'good night' before you go to bed
She knows all your friends names
She knows your upset before you do
She sings along to all your annoying anime songs with you
She knows all your favorite Chuck Norris jokes
And most importantly...
She loves you.

These are just some of the reasons why my mom is awesome. :3

BOOKSIE.COM Y U HATE ME SO MUCH?
GRAHKLDSFK
FUCKING
BOOKSIE

day 1, booksie LOL HAI U WANT TO POST STORY? O OK U CAN POST STORY AND PUT UP A PROFILE PICTURE NAO THEN!
me OMG LOL YAY NOW I HAS PLACE TO SHARE STORIES!

day 2, booksie O HAI AGAIN LOL IM GONNA SHIT MY PANTS NAO AND FUCK UP YOUR STORIES. O AND GESS WUT? IM GONNA PRETEND UR ACCOUNT DUN EXIST! LOLDERP I'M AWESOME!
me BETCH PLZ IMA GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT DEN!

day 3, booksie HEY GESS WUT? IM GONNA NOT LET YOU DO ANY THING! BUT NAO DAT UR STORIES ARE UP IM JUST GONNA KEEP DEM THAR AN U CANT STOP ME EVEN IF U USE DIFFERENT COMPOOTARS! :D
me WTF MON?! JKHSDFLKJGHFSDKF!!!! FINE, IM GONNA EMAIL TEH WEBSITE CONTROLE PPLZ!

day 4, booksie LOL I DIDN'T GET TEH EMAILZ BITCH. 8D IM ALL AWESOME AND CRAP CUZ TEH OTHAR PPL CAN CHANGE THER STUFF BUT U CANT! LOLSUCKDICKBITCH
me FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK *sends another email*

day 5, booksie OMG U STILL HERE? BITCH BE FAILIN' YO! O AND GESS WUT? I STILL DIDNT GET TEH EMAIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHA! >8D
me OMFG IM GOING TO FUCKING TAKE A VIRTUAL SLEDGE HAMMER TO THIS FUCKING WEBSITE AND FUCKING GO ALL CRAZY ASS PISSY BITCH IF YOU KEEP FUCKING UP FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKCUNTFUCKFUCKSHITBALLZFUCKFUCKFUCKCOCKSUCKINGWHORES!!!!!!!!! D8<

some
one
kill
booksie
for
me
D8<

All of my characters info.

BASIC:
Name: Nibbler Pandora Dahl
Age: 15
Birthday: July 23
Gender: Female
Species: Feline, Domestic Cat, Pure-bred Ragdoll
Sexuality: Bisexual with a preference towards males
Partner: Kingo Neox
 ~
PHYSICAL:
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 120 pounds
Hair:
 *Black
 *Inverted bob
 *Straight
Eyes: Dark red
Fur:
 *Dark brown
 *White and red markings
 *http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5798056/
Build: Pear-shaped
 ~
PERSONALITY:
Personality Assets: Good listener, can be energetic, intelligent
Personality Faults: Depressing, violent, moody
Likes: Animals, swimming, drawing, taking pictures, Tim Horton's coffee
Dislikes: When people are rude, loudness at an inappropriate time, when people make fun of her
Theme Song: Fade to Black by Metallica
 ~
EDUCATION:
Current Grade: 9
Annual Grade Average: B
Best Class: Art
Worse Class: Math
Dropout?: No
Collage/University Degree?: Not yet
 ~
OTHER:
Country born in: Canada
Speaks: English
Residence: Duplex
Class: Middle Class/Poor
Favorite Food: Home-made sushi
Political Views: Tries not to get involved with politics
Extra: A bit emo, but doesnt cut herself, Nibbler has a dark view on existence and spreads her depressing mood like the common cold among preschoolers.

BASIC:
Name: Rosetta 
Age: 17
Birthday: August 2
Gender: Female
Species: Raccoon
Sexuality: Straight
Partner: None
 ~
PHYSICAL:
Height: 5 feet
Weight: 140
Hair: 
 *Black/Dark brown
 *Jaw-length
 *Wavy
Eyes: Light brown
Fur:
 *Gold
 *Golden-brown markings
 *Classic raccoon markings, three rings on tail
Build: Very distinct hourglass shape, large breasts
 ~
PERSONALITY:
Personality Assets: Loyal, honest, helpful
Personality Faults: Aggressive, unpredictable, trust issues
Likes: Talking, trying new things,  organizing, fighting
Dislikes: Lying, traveling, talking about her childhood
Theme Song: Red Flag by Billy Talent
 ~
EDUCATION:
Current Grade: 11
Annual Grade Average: C+
Best Class: History
Worse Class: Art
Dropout?: No
Collage/University Degree?: Doesn't plan on going
 ~
OTHER:
Country born in:  America
Speaks: English
Residence: A small, run-down bungalow
Class: Poor
Favorite Food: Strawberries
Political Views: All for a democracy
Extra: She can be very clingy, has mental breakdowns if pushed to far, and loves to play on swings

BASIC:
Name: Cheshire Anthony McGrave
Age: 21
Birthday: April 1
Gender: Male
Species: Feline, Wild Cat, Jaguarundi/Serval Mix
Sexuality: No distinct preference
Partner: None
 ~
PHYSICAL:
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 130
Hair:
 *White
 *Short
 *Straight, generally spiked at back
Eyes: Red (left eye), Black (right eye)
Fur:
 *Black
 *Red markings
 *http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5799682/
Build: Muscular and slightly femanin
 ~
PERSONALITY:
Personality Assets: Protective, intelligent
Personality Faults: Murderous, easily angered, sadistic
Likes: Talking about his sister Alice, dancing, talking in riddles, screwing with people's heads
Dislikes: White Rabbit, children
Theme Song: River Below by Billy Talent
 ~
EDUCATION:
Reached Grade: 5
Annual Grade Average: A
Best Class: Math
Worse Class: Art
Dropout?: Sort of; ran away
Collage/University Degree?: Certainly not
 ~
OTHER:
Country born in: Wonderland (lol :D)
Speaks: English, Wonderlantic, Cheshian (dont you just love made up languages?)
Residence: Forest, no house
Class: Does not see the value in money
Favorite Food: Red Rose Tea/Blood
Political Views: Doesn't have a view on it
Extra: Though he may seem like a cold-blooded killer, Cheshire loves his sister and cute stuffies.


Feel free to use the template I made for your own characters:
BASIC:
Name: 
Age: 
Birthday: 
Gender: 
Species: 
Sexuality: 
Partner: 
 ~
PHYSICAL:
Height: 
Weight: 
Hair:
 *color
 *length
 *texture
Eyes: 
Fur:
 *main color
 *secondary color
 *markings
Build: 
 ~
PERSONALITY:
Personality Assets: 
Personality Faults: 
Likes: 
Dislikes: 
Theme Song: 
 ~
EDUCATION:
Reached/Current Grade:
Annual Grade Average:
Best Class:
Worse Class:
Dropout?:
Collage/University Degree?:
 ~
OTHER:
Country born in:
Speaks: 
Residence: 
Class: rich/mid/poor
Favorite Food: 
Political Views: 
Extra: