FA+
Shop
Good/bad news and Currently homeless.
Posted 7 years ago
Bad news is that I'm still trying to find a place to live. I might be moving back to Flagstaff (like I've always dreamed). Ive applied for several jobs there with companies I previously worked at and left on good standing. I'm hopeful. I've also asked friends in that area to find temporary housing while I work. I've got a good prospect with a long time friend who is willing to share a room/space with me that he currently has in a multi-tenant rented house.
He hada huge surprise secret for me though...
I've known this guy for 4 years. Great friends, we hung out a lot.
Got to talking and somehow in conversation he confessed that he was interested in something very strange he had seen online
He trusted me enough to tell me.
He's an ABDL. LOVES everything about it but had no clue it was even a "thing" people do! He was so confused and self conscious about it. Never knew that I've been taking part for 9 years now. So I'm showing this little cutie the ropes of being little and padded.
He calls me mama now. It's precious.
My best friend just happened to also be a closet ABDL.
AHHHH I can't get over it.
Update on home status
Posted 7 years agoListen everyone, I appreciate the concern.
The cops werent called because I packed what I could and thankfully Summer's grandparents took she and I within 30 mins of the threat.
Which i didn't expect because they're HIS parents and not mine.
But they're nice people. They tell me I'm still family because I'm Summer's mother... I havebt had a family like this so it surprised me.
I dont have my computer atm. I cant do art.
I'm technically homeless and I have no job
Its better than being hit though. I'm pretty ok right now comparatively ...
Honestly... Being out if that house...
I feel like I just met myself for the first time in a long time.
It's... Eye opening. I kinda like me...
💌🌱🍄🌙🌸🌹🌺💪🐎🐾🌈⛅In being kicked out
Posted 7 years ago
Yesterday was happy and fine.
The cops are being called soon to kick me out.
I'll be homeless. I'm going to lose my daughter.
I have no family. No income. No car. No friends.
I don't want to live.
Expedition to wellness
Posted 7 years ago
Something I've been thinking about since we moved.
I realized that even though we have just enough money right now to cover
our bills and buy food, there's still a lot of things we waste money on. Like cigarettes.
And despite being in a nice, comfortable home in a warm environment like Arizona...
(which is helping my Seasonal Affective Disorder SO much)
I'm not really "happy" yet. I was for a little while at first, but it was just the move.
I'm still feeling depression weighing me down every day and experiencing bad thoughts.
So I'm doing something I haven't done in a long time: try to be healthy, active, and happy.
This is going to require a big overhaul on my lifestyle. I realized I'm actually not as
well off as I thought I was.
I smoke cigarettes, I ate almost exclusively junk food, I don't exercise, I don't take care of myself.
Mind you... I don't drink alcohol or sit around all day either. There are some things that I'm proud of.
But I think changing my lifestyle would be good for my health and mood. A routine would be good, too.
So the changes I want to make are all independently rather easy.. but may cost extra money.
Making one lifestyle change at a time is the best way to do it. Smooth and easy.
I also hear that trying to change too much too quickly will lead to fast failure. I want it to stick.
I've already started doing several of these and have had astounding results!!!
- Quit smoking, replace with a healthier habit. Possibly wean with vaping or replace with home workout?
- Start being more active. Walk alone or with company when bored/restless. Planet Fitness gym membership later!
- Better diet. Control portions, no snacking all day long. Less processed food: full, varied meals cooked by me. (fun!)
- Self care every day. Small stuff. Dressing nicely. Showers, baths, shave the legs, lotion, dental care, makeup.
- Be productive. Drawing, dishes, laundry, organizing, vacuuming, pre-cook meals, bonding time with Summer.
- Relationship maintenance. Date nights, tender communication, love expression, quality time, affection.
- New Family Bonding. Use mutual interests w/ in-laws to become more comfortable around them. (they're wonderful people)
I would appreciate more suggestions on how to improve the quality of life we live on this earth!
UGH I want a style change
Posted 7 years ago
There are some parts of my style I like but overall it's so difficult and not even CUTE
Lord help me I'm exhausted
Posted 7 years ago
I really have no clue why but I can't get any rest in this new house.
Lately I've been sleeping anywhere between 3-6 hours a night.
I'll nap during the day for maybe an hour or two while summer sleeps, but it doesn't help.
I just got some papers in the mail from DHS which should be my insurance number.
I'm considering trying to begin my sleeping meds again in an attempt to get RESTFUL sleep..
but I'm really not sure, the specific med I'm on has a tendency to cause hallucinations and...
I maaaaayyy have drunk texted people when the med failed to put me to sleep totally.
(the funny part of that is the fact that I remember it, and I thought I was letting loose on a friend
I was really mad at and totally bitching her out for what she did. I read the text the next day and
was so disappointed to find that I actually hadn't told her how upset I was, but passively, gently
hinted at my displeasure. I guess she got the message but I was still too nice about it haha.)
so I really don't know what to do. I might ask for something different that doesn't have
side effects like that. Like Xanax or something relaxing... Ambien is a HELL of a drug.
I just listened to some old music and embarrassed myself
Posted 7 years ago
Maybe it's just me, but my significant other's taste in music HEAVILY influences my musical tastes for the years I'm with them.
I saw a youtube video of some dude who got in a minor car accident that went viral because he was SO not upset about it.
Even though the car was screwed, it was his employer's vehicle and not his. He also broke down next to a porn store and got the whole day off work.
But what really got me is that the car's sound system worked still so he was blasting some hardstyle beats. Which I used to be really into.
(My ex during my teen years was really into raves and Melbourne shuffle. I loved watching jumpstyle dance. Hardstyle raver music, basically)
So with me being my impressionable self, I thought "Wow nostalgia. Maybe I should listen to some of that stuff again."
Mind you my partner for the past 3 years is a VERY talented studio drummer and has a degree in sound engineering for his past studio work.
What does he play? "Hardcore" genre heavy metal. And for the past 2 years he has been on a huge binge of weird hiphop artists. (Currently tekashi69)
He's a very technical, skilled musician. Even if I'm not particularly fond of the sound of the stuff he likes I can appreciate the art of it.
BUT you get the idea of the type of music I've adjusted to listening to for the past several years. I don't think he is aware headphones exist. Or volume control.
LONG STORY SHORT I listened to some old hardstyle and turned BEAT RED immediately.
It was almost like I turned on Papa Roach or Nickelback for the first time since I was 15.
Why is this a thing? Getting embarrassed about music?
I realize the only reason I 'enjoy' the music I do right now is adaptation and familiarity from literally dozens of replay buttons.
But I stand firmly by my opinion that musical tastes can be neither 'good' nor 'bad'. People are allowed to enjoy sounds that are pleasant to them.
Whether other people enjoy the same sounds means nothing. If it brings you joy and hurts no one then it's okay, it's just musical preference.
Like, hell... kids these days listen to got-damn pencil sharpeners overlayed with random samples of people yelling and topped off with a simple, slow BPM.
But if that's what makes them feel good then who am I, especially as a visual artist, to tell them that they shouldn't like that?
Here's an analogy for you: A lot of people prefer chicken over fish. A lot of people can't even stand the smell of cooked fish. But I LOVE fish.
Does that mean I have shitty taste in food? Nah. I enjoy it. It nourishes my body. There are other people that like fish, too. And I'm not hurting anybody.
(besides the fish)
So why would I EVER EVER EVER feel embarrassed for eating fish? I think the same concept applies to music. Why should I feel embarrassed for liking it?
Even if it was years ago, it brought me joy at one point in life. Albeit I was younger, immature, way more naive at the time. But it's music, who cares?
Anyways, this was a journal that turned introspective real quick by accident. I literally intended to write only one or two lines LOL
My bad. :P I'm notoriously unfocused, you guys know already.
To make up for it, here's a pleasant song with a very cute individual jammin' on a midi controller.
(Also the song mentions the Mojave desert and THAT'S WHERE I LIVE)
Tips to loosen up after a break?
Posted 7 years ago
Ive been doing my best to draw like normal lately but I'm feeling very stiff since It's been a while since I drew with my tablet.
Do you guys have any drawing exercises that help you warm up and loosen out?
I kinda tried to jump right into drawing a full res image and I don't feel up to par with the quality like this...
I'm really having the urge to redesign Sheppy
Posted 7 years ago
I have a history/tendency/tradition of changing my fursona anytime there is a major & significant life change.
Sheppy came around when I learned I was pregnant, Audrey Utonagan came around when I moved to AZ the first time, Thunder originated after my dad was diagnosed with cancer, etc.
And I feel a huge life change happening right now and I have that urge to change again. But I'm really not sure if I want to switch from Sheppy completely.. I still feel connected to them. Just not the simple design.
I'll probably mess around with the idea of changing markings, colors, species, complexity, whatever. Just something different.
Because the other option would be to switch characters completely and I'm not digging that idea.
I moved across the country! ALSO big news financially
Posted 7 years ago
You guys ready for some serious news?
I'm living back in Arizona with my fiance and little Summer Lynn.
And we basically hit the jackpot. Rags to riches.
I moved a couple weeks ago but only just now had internet installed.
I had another unexpected hiatus with work. I'm so sorry. We were aware that we were going to be moving at some point in time, but the "go-ahead" we had
been waiting for came last minute and only had 2 days to pack and load everything, and then another 3 days to drive 1,700 miles. The move was funded
100% by my in-laws who live just 20 mins away from us now. The reason for this was so my fiance can effectively be trained, licensed, and take over his dad's
process-serving company so that his dad can retire without losing the income or company. Not sure if you guys know exactly how much an independent
process server for the courts makes, but it's a lot apparently. Which means that once my partner is licensed and the company is officially passed over very
very soon... my family's socioeconomic position will immediately skyrocket to at least upper-middle class, if not upper-class. (Not sure what defines which, but
we'll have a sturdy 6-figure income immediately)
We already have an apartment in one of the safest neighborhoods in town, but all the apartments in this little complex are BRAND NEWLY BUILT. Holy jeezus
they are NICE... And now we have all the amenities like a dishwasher and laundry right in our home. (Which is amazing and totally blowing my mind??) PLUS a
really nice car that is 100% paid for. My father-in-law took my partner to the dealership, picked out a 2014 Mitsubishi Lancer, and paid for it in full right there.
And as if all this weren't enough, it's got-damn beautiful here. 70-80*F during the day. ;_; Which is effectively lifting my Seasonal Affective Disorder.
RIGHT NOW we don't have that big of an income. $200 every week... but that's spending money. The other part of the paycheck for this apprenticeship period
is withheld by the in-laws and goes straight to rent at the end of the month. My partner works about 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. When you
factor in the amount of money they save for him to pay bills, it comes out to little over $11/hour. But this is very temporary... c:
I'm sure you all know what this means..
1. I'll have the financial stability to draw without the pressure to make an income.
2. In one or a couple months when the company is ours, we'll have the power to refund if needed
This isn't some dream or fantasy.... this is already happening. He's already working, we have the apartment and the car, and everything's in order for this to
happen. I do plan on working part-time... but I was literally told that there's no rush to do that and I now have the freedom to get an education or just be a
housewife and mother if that's what I want to do.
There's.... not much wrong in life right now.
This is a blessing and an opportunity.
I guess the only thing that could make life better right now is a dog or something?
We don't have any pets, but I'm also planning to volunteer at a local equine rescue so....
Does that count?
Healed!
Posted 8 years ago
Hey guys, I know it's been a while. But I just took the last dose of my antibiotics yesterday and I'm feeling much much better. :)
No more pain or infection! It took a month but finally getting the proper treatment has got me back up again.
Recovering
Posted 8 years agoLong story short, my infection wasn't as simple as I thought.
After being misdiagnosed and ignored by my local hospital and the infection spreading to my jaw, ear, forehead and swelling my eyes and neck, 3 days ago I took an ambulance to a more reputable hospital and they finally admitted me and correctly treated me. I'm finally starting to get out of pain and feel better, though I'm on lots of heavy meds.
After being misdiagnosed and ignored by my local hospital and the infection spreading to my jaw, ear, forehead and swelling my eyes and neck, 3 days ago I took an ambulance to a more reputable hospital and they finally admitted me and correctly treated me. I'm finally starting to get out of pain and feel better, though I'm on lots of heavy meds.
Emergency notice - going to the hospital
Posted 8 years ago
I'm going to the hospital probably tomorrow morning, if not tonight.
I've been very sick lately. A couple weeks ago I had a very back molar literally shatter while eating. The past few days I've been sick and trying to work through it. I have been drawing to distract myself bit quite frankly being sick has made me irritable and quiet. I've been experiencing extreme fatigue, fever, nausea, vomiting, severe pain, and swollen glands in my neck...
I was taking at home antibiotics but I can't keep anything down. Not food, meds, or even water. My boyfriend looked in my mouth and confirmed I have a terrible dental abscess visible in my shattered tooth and worsening dehydration from being unable to drink water and continuously vomiting. I desperately need medical attention.. I was hoping I could handle this at home but it looks like it's too late..
(Don't mind this journal)
Posted 8 years ago
If you are reading this, I'm just making a list for what I would like to do this evening.
I need to start somewhere to get the ball rolling. I strongly feel Newton's laws of
motion applies to self-motivation as well. "an object at rest tends to remain
at rest, and an object in motion tends to remain in motion"
We all know it takes more effort to first get going and
becomes easier to keep your pace once you've started.
And please, if we could keep judgement off this journal and
any similar journals in the future that would be VERY helpful.
* * *
Goals: Evening of Wednesday, Dec 6th
✔ Respond to partial queue of unread notes
✔ Put work into at least one project before bedtime
☐ Collect appropriate information to create updated queue
☐ Clean up email inbox (Least concern)
* * *
Note to self: Do your best & don't stress about under- or over-achieving. A little progress is still progress.READ IF YOU HAVE A COMMISSION, TRADE, OR COLLAB FROM ME
Posted 8 years ago
I'm sorry to say that I've fallen behind on keeping track of my commissions and trades.
Specifically on my Trello queue, as a lot of people have noticed that it was removed from my profile.
I'll be going through my notes and updating this list...
But if you'd like to get a head start and remind me of your owed art, please comment.
Trello Queue
https://trello.com/b/GA4H96r9/nycke.....mmission-queue
https://trello.com/b/GA4H96r9/nycke.....mmission-queue
https://trello.com/b/GA4H96r9/nycke.....mmission-queue
Help with making merchandise?
Posted 8 years ago
I'd like to start selling merchandise via a website like Redbubble.
I don't have any personal equipment to make things like t shirts or stickers irl yet.
So I really have no clue where to start with things like this.
Can someone who's done this before give me a run-down of how it works?
I'm planning on using Redbubble because from what I understand, they do
the manufacturing in exchange for part of the profit and all I need to do is
create the art I'll be selling on the products.
I'd like to start off with stickers, charms, prints, and patterns. Maybe work
my way up to doing t shirts and other stuff... who knows?
If you have any advice on how to start out that'd be great.
I also need a tutorial on making repeating patterns on PS ;;
Does anyone know where I can find copyright laws on using
characters from popular shows like Pokemon, Adventure Time,
My Little Pony, etc. on this stuff?
Father's Day
Posted 8 years ago
Happy Father's day, guys!
Spend time with your father, father figure, grandpa, or whoever you have.
I hope all you fuzzy dads here on FA are getting pampered and relaxing this lazy Sunday.
I'm spending time with Summer's dad today.
keeping my dad in my memories as well...
it's been 6 years since he passed, since my
last father's day with him.
Does someone with Picarto Premium want to multi?
Posted 8 years ago
Let's Multistream right now! ;v;
The more the merrier.
Please be aware that I may draw diapers/NSFW
Opinions on the POC LGBT+??? flag?
Posted 8 years ago
BEFORE READING, PLEASE TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION IF YOU HAVE ANY PERSONAL PREJUDICES
REGARDING SAME-SEX COUPLES, TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS, PEOPLE OF COLOR,
OR ANY OTHER SPECIFIC GROUP OF PEOPLE. THIS IS A SAFE ZONE. AGGRESSION,
RACISM, TRANSPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA, BIPHOBIA, AND GENERAL HOSTILE
CONFRONTATION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.
First off, please excuse me for not including "all the letters" in LGBT+
Because honestly idk what letters are inclusive and exclusive anymore and I'm
not trying to exclude anyone who belongs and including people who don't.
Just safely assume that I mean everybody, homosexuals, pansexuals,
asexuals, bisexuals, demisexuals, panromantic, aromantic, trans, nonbinary,
questioning, qu**r, etc. (censoring the last one, I know some people
can be uneasy about that word. I still love and respect you if you are.
And if I didn't list you outright, please know that I'm still thinking of you.)
ANYWAYS the LGBT+ flag just released recognizing POC in the community.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/13/healt.....rnd/index.html
How do you feel about it? There's also one with a fist in the center displaying
neutral colors- shades of brown, tan, etc. and that one may symbolize something
else, but I will own up to not being 100% educated on the difference.
And everyone, keep in mind this is meant to be a SAFE ZONE.
A space for free discussion of similar and differing opinions.
I personally feel that it's important for LGBT+ POC to feel recognized and
included, especially facing even more danger as a double minority. BUT
I do feel like a lot of unrelated groups are pushing their way into the LGBT+
movement when they have nothing to do with the core purpose. Like allies,
for instance. Supporting a cause shouldn't automatically include you within
the oppressed group. As an ally you don't face discrimination or violence.
Hence why there is such a huge debate over the previously included "A"
in LGBT+. Some were arguing it stood for ally, others say ace.
Race and sexuality/identity are similar in some ways, but are not really related.
They overlap within the community, but are mutually exclusive. Hence, separate
pride flags feel more appropriate. Now, if the inclusive flag were being pushed
towards POC who wanted to represent both parts of themselves, I can understand.
But pushing this flag on everybody, POC or otherwise, doesn't seem like the
right call seeing as they're individual groups with completely different struggles.
I'm 100% open to changing my mind, given someone provides a reasonable argument.
This is just my PERSONAL view. Keep in mind I'm not considered a POC and had the
priviledge of growing up with a white father and lighter skin than my Blackfoot mom.
My race has only ever come up when I lived in AZ around more
Native American people, even then it was mostly positive.
CHEAP Base Edits SOON!
Posted 8 years ago
SO I have a bunch of bases laying around in my SAI files and I figured I should put them to use..
Keep an eye out for when I post the advert.
These things will help keep me afloat while working on larger comms.
Look at this great tutorial
Posted 8 years ago
By 
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22966593/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22966593/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22966593/
I want to try this so bad! It looks really cool and simple to do!
Just a heads up
Posted 8 years ago
I'm coming off my antidepressants atm and I'm really not in a good place.
Suicidal thoughts, lack of sleep, no food, etc. are making things especially hard.
I'm SO close, and so far
Posted 8 years ago
I have an interview tomorrow morning for what's pretty much a sure-fire job.
I'll likely start my shifts this week and get paid in about 2 weeks...
until then I've gotta provide for myself. My food and other necessities.
I've been working solid 8AM-8PM days (sometimes longer) and it's been wonderfully productive
so I can catch up on overdue work. It feels amazing.
Just as a reminder, I do have adoptables up for sale in my gallery.
Those are how I'm supporting myself day-to-day right now.
Things will get better soon!
🌟 Send me your TOP 5 POKEMON for gen 1&2 🌟
Posted 8 years ago
Thinking of doing something cool that I haven't personally done before... OvO
If you guys could list your top 5 Pokemon from gen 1 and another 5 from gen 2 I would really appreciate it!
I'm also curious what are some of your favorite items in the games?
adjusting
Posted 8 years agoI'm only just now kind of getting adjusted living here.
Being a single mother is not easy in the first place, but I realize that it's also not a role I handle well.
I'm starting work online again this Sunday and my work weeks will alternate based on custody.
Depression hit me very very hardly the first few weeks here but I'm getting better.
I appreciate your patience.
