To the people who've been asking and dying to do something don't worry I haven't forgotten, but you have to at least understand that IRL issues and current political events have bummed me out or at least kept me occupied enough to the point where I lose track of time. Don't hate you, not ignoring you, but I personally have been getting burnt out too fast before I even get I chance to do anything with anyone but I'm usually open to just chatting even if it's horny chatting.

When it comes to f-chat though I will keep my profile and update it occasionally for people to check kinks and stuff I might be interested in, usually I hardly stay on the client but try to when I want to catch up with people I haven't talked to in forever since the bara rooms mostly have flavour of the month character profiles depending on what movie or game is popular then they're gone forever because the same person found another character they're into, nothing I'm personally irked by but they dominate a lot of rooms so it feels super cliquey so I rather continue to talk to people who reach out to me directly.

So yeah as I try to make an effort to take care of my own physical health I hope this will in turn help me sit still while doing some scenes with people, I get pretty restless when I'm extremely horny too so I might have to work on that as well. Thank you to the people who're still patient with me though.

Here's the link to my profile by the way for those curious: Wilson 'Bruce' Harmon

Hey hey I’m not dead or anything, just dealing with a lot of stuff in my life that required my immediate attention and I know a lot of you tell me that it’s no problem and that I can take as much time as I need to address my IRL issues and that you’ll support me or cheer me on and I love you all so much for your kind words and willingness to listen to me ramble on about how the world just feels like hell right now but at the moment I also feel quite anxious interacting with the furry fandom which is why I’ve been silent as well.

For a long while I have talked to people who’ve exclusively been furries or at least part of the “bara” community online and honestly, it’s been quite a mixed bag but (at the risk of sounding like an asshole) the common thread between all my negative interactions are the amount of people who’ve felt entitled to my time and attention. I’ve had someone tell me straight to my face that they were jealous of me and any time I’d share anything good with them they’d give backhanded compliments and make me feel guilty for daring to enjoy myself around them and when I stopped sharing with them, they then continue to stalk my accounts until eventually cutting contact with me. I’ve had to deal with someone who was obsessed with another person who constantly played victim and was always in fights in every server they were in and because I dared to defend myself against them he’d refuse to listen to me and spread the word on how much he hated me. Funny thing is his friends would say he didn’t want to interact with me to protect his health but kept talking about me to everyone and would never allow me to just directly address him privately. I’d have someone constantly track the time I was busy and gamed, complaining I never set aside time for them not caring for how I felt but only that they weren’t being talked to enough all over some RP. Several times people I’ve had complain about not receiving enough attention from me and when I actually talk to them they act cold and distant so I leave them again only for them to complain once more about feeling neglected. At some point I’ve just taken screenshots of these conversations and I’ve been told I’ve been way too charitable with a lot of people and need to practice using the block button which I definitely need to get used to using actually.

I really have gotten tired of apologizing or trying to talk through what people get bothered by and have just accepted that some people really are addicted to arguing and being angry over practically anything that bothers them. It led me to just continue interacting with people outside the furry community and I understand that this behavior isn’t exclusive to furries it is the space where I’ve come across this behavior the most and it has left me exhausted with making new friends in the fandom to the point where I even found doing RP difficult because of how fast my mood would shift the moment I felt anxious that someone was going to get too clingy / bossy.

I have definitely been thinking about checking who I follow on all sites online, cutting down on my friends list on people who I just need to let go and accept that they have moved on or are practically not friends anymore due to like, us not really knowing if we vibe or not. It should have been like this from the start where I just interact with people based on vibes and block people more often when they annoy me. Growing up having to tolerate people who drive me insane has given me an immense amount of patience with dealing them. I realize I don’t have time to give so many people the benefit of the doubt especially now that life has gotten quite hectic for me at the moment and those same people never care when I’m going through something terrible which is why I’m normally not open about my life anymore to those who’re STILL asking me what’s up.

SO one more time, and for the final time, I’d like to apologize to those who felt ignored or neglected by me. It most likely wasn’t my intention since I’ve had quite the rough set of years especially after the pandemic but I’m trying my best to pull through. At the moment though I do pass the time online by gaming or just watching movies during my downtime so if any of you would like to add me on Steam I have it linked on my profile. I want to continue enjoying the fandom with like-minded people and keep talking about kinks that make my brain mush, share art we take an interest in or just debate about the politics of balancing in video games or whatever I dunno I’m not that interesting of a person and to those who have stuck around with me for so many years, thank you <3
Also this isn’t a goodbye or anything and I’m not dying lmao.

Sorry that took so long I kept forgetting but was reminded again today.

Going into the final stretch of 2024 and honestly this year was a weird one, started out believing I'd have more free time for personal things like practicing art and sorting my own personal shit out but life got complicated and things got rough. This was mostly with IRL family drama and at some point my PC died but because of the support of so many friends who've checked up on me either frequently or every once in a while I managed stay sane and get myself through it all. I'm grateful that you all care about me so much and continue to check on me even when I'm exhausted emotionally / mentally.

One thing I have been more interested in when it comes to anything to do with NSFW art is vore and mpreg. LOVE LOVE LOVE cock vore but other types of vore are good too and I hope to find some art and artists that mainly post vore content and perhaps accept vore commissions. I just been so vorny and it hurts but maybe this is a good enough motivation to continue role-playing again on F-chat or discord or telegram, which also might be good enough motivation to update and clean up my personal discord server which I want to open up for friends again and people I've hung out with and hope to game with.

Still eager to meet more people in the furry fandom and have considered having another fursona I'd love to get a reference sheet of, an owl since that has been on my mind for the longest time just need to find someone good at doing reference sheets I can hopefully commission. Main ape Bruce won't be going away but I'd like to switch faces every so often plus I've loved owls for the longest time because of how cute they are ❤️. That's about all that has happened, not particularly a great year IRL which I'm definitely trying to make it through and survive. Thanks again to everyone who've been kind to me!

Problems have cooled down since last year so it has left me with a bit more free time than I usually have, which I might use to spend on myself so you might see me getting into roleplay more frequently again and in general I'll be much more open to chatting to anyone who wants to catch up or say hello! Going to do some major cleaning up as time passes as well, getting out of large discord servers I'm not chatting in and cleaning up my friend's list as personally I don't want to hang on to connections I feel might not go anywhere anymore. Even after some time having not spoken to some people I still want to feel like I can at least say hello to them without it feeling awkward or without it feeling standoffish. I don't want people to feel obligated to say hello constantly or meet a threshold of greetings for them to remain a friend since life sucks for a lot of us and I don't expect your constant attention, but some people don't share that same mindset as I've learned last year. If people don't know already I still stay in South Africa and since the beginning of the new decade there have been major power outages across the country and based on the stages they've rotated between areas in the country according to allotted times as stages switch from high to low, the higher the stage the more outages spread across a single day. When I have expressed to so many people that power outages have messed up my schedule and I don't have control over my free time spent online due to not wanting to burn through data when outages occur I guess they can't comprehend that? Which is unfortunate but to be expected when people can't grasp how bad outages like that can be especially when paired with my own personal issues compounded with other forms of IRL matters that needed my immediate attention.

This year however I'm going to try to work around the power outages even more aggressively compared to the previous. I'm going to try my hand at practicing art again as well more so as a hobby and because I want to illustrate what stories I have trouble writing out but in general it's because I'm still interested in art in general. I tried long ago but my mentality around the hobby was that if I couldn't monetize it then I shouldn't even bother. However my passion for artistic works and media along with material people in the fandom have written has pretty much given me a bit of courage to just go in raw and see where I land up. Biggest thing I have to practice along with art is to be patient with everything as well and keep my exercise routine consistent and my space comfortable. Fix all the bad habits while developing new ones as I continue on my growth as a person because in general I'm still a work in progress.

Thank you to everyone so far who has been kind to me throughout the time I've spent in the fandom and I hope we continue to remain friends. Hope to get to know a lot more of you awesome folk as well who I've yet to meet and in general I'm glad to have found some communities that have been kind to me and people who've been reassuring me through times when I've been distressed. Also to the guys and gals who've just been horny with me and influenced my interests in kinks I never thought I'd found hot like god so much shit just grew on me I never thought I'd be into, so many kinks I used to shy away from just getting me worked up and on my knees. Going to be more open with horny discussion but with people I'm comfortable with for now as well. Excuse how dumb I sound when I'm gooning or cumbrained though.

By the way if you want to reach me, chat, get to know me, game etc. then feel free to add me or poke me on these platfroms. Do let me know who you are at least though or if we haven't spoken in a while, however with Steam you can feel free to shoot me a friend request even if we might not have that many games in common. Here are places you can reach me:

Telegram: https://t.me/HairyGreenMan
Discord: pyramid_heads_meat_socket
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/MilkyApeGalaxy/
Bluesky: ookflavouredmilk.bsky.social

The start to this new decade certainly was something huh? Currently at least regarding my online presence I think I might try to do a good long clean up of everything, past chats and past friendships. Not really because I feel like I need to cut people off but there are some people I think I've grown so distant to that I think I'm not ever going to remain friends with them, genuinely a result of just IRL absorbing our time or either of us just moving on. Still I'm thankful to have spent the time I have with them. As for current friends, can't say next year will be any better for me and I know I've barely had time for long chats when you were all available but I still feel comfortable with plenty of you who've respected my privacy and my space whenever I didn't feel great. Also a good number of you old doods making me crush on ya fuck man I can't be normal around some of you.

Honestly I'm really not sure about the future, the news we receive just gets worse, at least for me I find plenty of what has been happening globally to be horrible to the point were even when I take breaks from anything online it's hard to ignore but feeling like nothing I do can directly help anyone has left me numb to it all. We can only hope that 2024 at least isn't as bad as this year was.

Side note - I'm going to try doing some more RP this year, just to have fun when I'm horny and I've kept plenty of people waiting, that's not to say every time I'm online it's an automatic yes but I'll get back to scenes that were left on pause for a while. Even if we don't RP we can still chat and get to know one another or talk about anything that interests us, don't have to be strangers!

Links to other spaces I'm on if you want to message me:

Telegram: https://t.me/HairyGreenMan
Discord: pyramid_heads_meat_socket
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/MilkyApeGalaxy/
Bluesky: ookflavouredmilk.bsky.social

Heyo!! Still a bit of a tired mess at the moment but I'm keeping it together :D Not sure how long I've managed to stay in the fandom for but boy has it been a ride and I'm glad to have met a majority of you, plenty who've genuinely kept me smiling at times and have been amazing listeners though some have left me frustrated and annoyed enough to warrant me posting this. This is more of a vent post but at the same time I don't expect many people to read through everything or even read it at all but to those that do thanks for your time!

One thing that has frustrated me most are how plenty of people navigate friend groups as though they're still in high school, I've watched ONE person who had beef with me because they've actually been horrible to me manipulate 3 whole groups of people into thinking I hated them? That I was treating that person terribly when my evidence is damning and pretty much easily proves they're wrong but it doesn't matter what evidence I had at the time because these people found him hot, and by then already made their decision that he was in the right. I've then been isolated by other groups once they got involved all because they again are good friends even though I've made attempts to speak with them to just solve an issue. I've tried to reach out to their friends to explain fully what happened and talk to them because I've seen how they talk about me behind my back but those friends are instinctively defensive. I just can not understand people who in the fandom have not made any attempt to talk to me, any to get to know me, any to even address serious claims against me can act as if they're the wholesome UWU gentle and friendly type of people when they accept the first person's claims about anything because they found them hot but try to use therapy speak to brush aside complex issues.

I've watched groups of people grow distant because they give someone preferential treatment once they find out how hot they are and it feels weird, and don't get me started on politics, the amount of people I've grown distant towards because of them slurping up transphobic nonsense, repeating far right talking points and just can not understand why some people are so vocal about the state of the world rn... it felt exhausting being around them.

Also those who do not understand time zones and that people are probably busy, trying to guilt trip me into pushing everything I'm busy with aside and give them attention it really is something I've found super annoying but I've at least learned to navigate around this especially when it comes to groups and people who roleplay. Even artists I've come across tend to have their head up their ass? I love supporting creatives and want to see them succeed especially in the furry community but how art is exchanged, talked about and consumed in some spaces makes me so uncomfortable especially around groups of wealthy people who look down on someone who uses the same art piece twice or more times or reposts their art a lot. I will not apologize or feel ashamed for reposting the pieces I love that especially have been gifted to me. I love my sona that much and no amount of hate for the species, the art style or myself as a person is going to change that because I love going back to art I enjoyed especially NSFW art and just appreciating it. Some artists are surprisingly unprofessional though when dealing with money so I haven't been all that willing to get a new piece of art for my ape.

Going forward though after I sort out all the platforms I'm on, take a few breaks and clean up old chats of people I might need to let go of, I think I'll try to approach what I do in the fandom as something I want to do for me. Budget and save up enough to then eventually splurge on pieces that help with the worldbuilding of my gorilla sona and the world around him. Explore some furry spaces that might lead to potential friendships, exploring more kinks I'm into and want to get art of be it extreme or weird, kinky or vanilla. Try to interact and engage with artists that don't mind the comments and compliments instead of hoping for those that only comment within their group of friends to notice me. Trying to support creatives and interact with them if they're open to just doing something else that doesn't involve them and their art. Using the block button often because honestly being a bigot is not something I have the energy to help you fix. Lastly, I link my Steam a lot because I enjoy gaming with people, thanks to those who regularly play with me because it serves as a good icebreaker to just bond over as well as watching movies, playing games, worldbuilding and roleplaying etc. I'm not competitive so don't expect a godlike player nwn

Links to other spaces I'm on:

Telegram: https://t.me/HairyGreenMan
Discord: pyramid_heads_meat_socket
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/MilkyApeGalaxy/
Bluesky: ookflavouredmilk.bsky.social

Not sure how many people actually ready journals anymore but to those who feel like I may have been ignoring them or avoiding them, I most likely haven't. Currently there have been heavy and rather depressing things going on with me IRL and I've mostly been trying to stay sane around the bigots I meet online and it has burned at my social battery especially since this year has turned out to be one of the worst I've had in a while. I honestly don't know how I'm still hanging in there but I do appreciate that a lot of you have been poking me from time to time to see if I've been ok. Thank you everyone.

To the people who may not know I can be reached on telegram, discord, and I have made a new Bluesky account in the event Twitter becomes way to un-usable and too hostile for artists to grow on there. I usually focus on gaming talk on discord and light horny talk since I mostly prefer telegram for one on one conversations. So here are my socials if you want to reach me, and feel free to add me on Steam if you just wanna add me or if we have games in common.

Telegram: https://t.me/HairyGreenMan
Discord: pyramid_heads_meat_socket
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/MilkyApeGalaxy/
Bluesky: ookflavouredmilk.bsky.social

Been doing RP plenty lately so currently I might be open to just having some fun with friends and people I've been meaning to continue RP'ing with. Either that or just talking about how our characters would interact is pretty cool. Currently I feel satisfied with what information I have of Bruce so I might simply save up to get more art of him to compliment the stories I gave him tied to his backstory and alternate versions of himself. I won't lie, actually saying it like that sounds weird but lately I've just stopped caring about people thinking RP is cringe. It's genuinely fun when I don't have much to do during my downtime.

To add to this I'm open to joining servers or groups people don't mind having me in, especially servers and groups friends recommend since I want to cut back on all the large groups I join, squeezing into tight cliques can be draining but I enjoy the company of people who'll have me and are laid back though my sense of humor can be a bit unhinged. I'm also down to talk to people one on one, I'm not qualified to talk about deep issues that may affect you but when I have the time I'll try to listen, given I'm in the right mental state to give you my full attention. I do play plenty of video games so feel free to add me on Steam. Hope I manage to meet plenty of people this year.

I won't really get into detail with IRL goals though with friends who know me well enough in the fandom they already have an idea of what I'm mostly focused on at the current moment however this year I'm just leaving this journal as a reminder to myself that even though a lot of corners, cliques, places and people in the fandom can be tiresome there has been plenty of awesome folks who've made going through all those experiences mostly with it and my god if distance weren't and issue I'd be going on dates with a lot of you.

Roleplaying and F-list
I love it, not going to stop and even though I may not be proficient in writing I am still trying because I have fun doing it even though mainly a lot of people pretty much make fun of furs who RP. I will be trying my best to be mostly active on F-Chat, Telegram and Discord when it comes to roleplay, mostly with friends than random people however I'll try to respond to everyone unless either one of us is not having fun. I just love playing out scenarios with people that have impressive world building skills and honestly I might study writing, just a smidge to get better at describing scenery just so that I don't fumble a lot when trying to communicate what I want people to visualise.

Telegram and Discord
At some point I'll have to clear them out, as in clean out my friend's list, sort group chats and servers out and in general get some order in my life since logging into these apps can be overwhelming on days when I want to just at least check in with some communities and end up in about eight or so ongoing conversations so I want to really make sure I mute servers I don't interact in much and turn on notifications for those that I feel comfortable in. With telegram I find it's the best for roleplay or just talking to furs who want to chat so I'll keep my DM's open for them.

In general I just want to engage more with people in the community though that won't be a grantee that I'll give everyone my undivided attention, that doesn't need to be said sure but you can never be to sure so it's worth reminding people. I do want to talk amongst communities with people into niche stuff like macro micro content, hypno content, consume works from writers and musicians in the fandom who I might support if I manage to find several to my liking. Thank you to friends old an new for pretty much dealing with me in the few years I've been apart of the fandom love you all. <3 [Also I was typing this up while I was hungry so statements may be a pain to read.]

I still struggle in general getting into large communities and I'm not too used to using furraffinity all that much despite how much I want to at least get involved with parts of the community. So far it has mostly been great, I have had odd experiences and terrible ones here and there but overall I've been enjoying myself. So with this site uuhhh, I wanna use it more even if right now people might not prefer it.

Also want to let people know I'm sorry if I've mostly been distant or rather weird when trying to engage in conversations. IRL has been a bit tiresome mentally, having to deal with power outages and plan for the future all while recovering from last year has left me overwhelmed. I know I don't need to explain myself I doubt many people are actually holding a grudge against be but I felt like saying that much at least.

Well I may be struggling a bit currently with irl issues I honestly am super greatful to all the awesome furs I've met this year. It's not actually the end of the year yet but I still want to thank everyone who has been great to me, and wish them an awesome rest of the year.

I'll definitely be trying my best to improve as a person, I'm making sure that even when I make some mistakes in the future that effort is put into fixing my mistake. Taking responsibility and also knowing when to say no or distance myself from toxic people is currently something I'm working on.

Honestly yeah the fandom has its bad parts but so do most fandoms large and small, I'm just happy I found some great people who've helped me ease into the community. I'm not sure if this is how journals work but screw it, you guys are awesome!