Looks like I've cleared out my whole queue now and I'm ready to open up for 3 whole slots!
Someone new can be called to the front of the line

Send me a DM with your awesome idea and we will get started

ALL THREE SLOTS FILLED! It's now closed.

Thank you so much everyone!

For a limited time I'm opening up three slots for commissions!

Message me if you are interested or nee more examples and we will get things started. : D

OKAY!

It's been a minute
I've been doing a lot of mourning and panicking.
After my beloved 14 year old pomeranian passing away (Pumpkin, you know her you love her, we love her so so much), my mother being hospitalized, and my dear 26 yo friend passing away
I know
The hits just dont and WONT stop coming. That cant stop me! I gotta keep on through them.
Absolutely no choice.
There were also some other obligations that spread me VERY thin with JUST that.
Also trying to keep EVERYONE'S morale up, while trying to keep MINE up because moods spread and unfortunately I have people who use me as a barometer for emotional strength.
It's left me incredibly drained on top of all the tragedy and holidays.
I keep remembering ‘oh yeah there was that earth shattering event with my sister, too!’

Now the world is going ballistic.

Oh, last night our kitchen floor is extremely hard and extremely slippery and my dumb ass was in SOCKS.
Turned around too quick.
And BAM-!
Fell and hit every part of our booth-style table to the floor, head, elbow, shoulder!
It’s tender but nothing ibuprofen won’t mask
: D

Expect art

Slide into my messages for my commission board! We will work something out. : D

Hit me up, we will work something out

https://twitter.com/Panda_Dox/statu.....664540672?s=20

How do you all feel about sketches?
Are they things that can go in the regular gallery with everything else or should they only be put into scraps?

Okay I've been on here a long time. It's really unnecessary to make a big deal about reaching any sort of numeral milestone.

But I'm still pleased to see the ticker get to 50k. It's flattering.

I'd love to draw something if I had the time (which I really dont)

But if I did, what would you vote for?

I keep forgetting there's filth I could be posting here since so many other sites have adult stuff locked down.

So keep on the look out for stuff I should have been posting here already.

So back in November I injured my arm.

I feel like I've done a good job resting it and settling in on physical therapy for it.

But it's been two months and there's still pain and stiffness.

It really messing with my head

It's really a place to post some patreon content a month after it's been up. Most of it naughty, adults only please.
https://twitter.com/DuckM0NSTER

Commission Prices can be found right here: https://twitter.com/DoxMartin/statu.....50618458857472

Making the rounds to every art platform to upload a drawing gets a little tough sometimes.

More art is coming!

I’ve just been trying to figure out how to move forward with my neurocardiogenic syncope. (Fainting spells caused by low blood pressure)
I’ve had a spell recently and thankfully I was sitting on my bed so there was no risk of a fall.

I’m saving for the doctor so I can finally get some treatment going for it as well as have a medical history confirming it. My stepmother just got her masters degree in nursing and has informed me all about it after I described what happens to me.

I hate it because I’ve never seen myself as a weak person or as someone who just randomly faints. I’ve been embarrassed about this condition as well as scared, so I hadn’t pursued any help before.

What sucks is it can be triggered by so many things! Standing too fast/long, swallowing too hard, high anxiety/stress, coughing, using the bathroom, intense pain, etc!
The condition itself isn’t really dangerous, what’s dangerous is the falling. In 2012 I had two spells in rapid succession while in the bathroom and ended up smacking my face against the bathtub.
I’m glad it wasn’t my teeth, but my cheek and nose were hit so hard that clear stuff oozed through the skin and made a scab.

Last year I was at my sisters in her backyard, she was consoling me after a fight with our mother and suddenly I felt myself dreaming. I woke up with my sister behind me keeping my chair from falling over on the concrete.

The most recent spell, I was on my bed like I said, regular drawing session, headphones in! Having a pretty good time. Then I coughed too hard? The wrong way? I’m not sure but suddenly the YouTube video I was listening to stopped making sense and I was falling back. Woke shortly after dazed and foggy/shaky but I knew what had happened.

I have always tried to fight it, I breathe slow and and deep, I try to force myself to focus and wish it passes. But I read recently that I shouldn’t do that because the syncope will always win. Reading that made me feel more powerless. All I can do is sit against something or lay down so that I don’t injure myself when I fall.

This took a serious turn but the point is, I’m here and I’m drawing.

If you’d like to help, consider becoming a Patron at patreon.com/lemurmonster, warning for NSFW art.
Or paypal at pandadox[at]yahoo.com

I went through my watch list.

I tried very hard to follow people to new accounts and even some on other platforms.

Some I just had to accept they were gone.

By the time I was finished I was watching less than 30 people!

Gonna have to roam around because my submission feed so far has been extremely sparse.

If any has a fave artist to suggest please feel free.

Had to start my life over after so many funerals and taking care of my elderly disabled mother.

It wasn't good or favorable.

But I worked very hard cleaning up a house I've spent a great deal of my childhood in. I worked so hard I got an infection and got sick from exhaustion, but it was so worth it.

I'm out of my previous situation and learning to fall in love with art and drawing again. It had become a chore and a rare guilty pleasure. Trying to find the fragile fun in being public with it again.

Goin to try to make progress and keep making progress.


You can also find me here: https://twitter.com/DoxMartin If thats your thing

love you guys

I've always loved how a lot of that series came out and I loved working on it a whole bunch.

Now there's tons of new characters and some of the old characters have whole new looks now!

My question is: What iconic scene of the Walking Dead would you all like to see given the Trotting Dead treatment?

I'm not sure if I would just do it as a singular picture or was a little comic laying out the scene.

Anyhow, drop me a comment!

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I could really use your help. Please help me stay afloat!
Donations and commissions are very much appreciated
Commission info: http://pumpkinhiphop.deviantart.com.....Info-573637024

Paypal: Pandadox[at]yahoo.com

I'm sorry to everyone. Thought my new job would work out and fix everything when my net got shut off. But it just hasn't. Something's wrong and I haven't received my final pay.
I don't know what's wrong. Gonna call corporate. Might be a government thing.
I'm borrowing a family members cell to write this from the hospital.
Apparently my Grandpa Fred is all ate up with cancer to the bone and never told anyone.
My dad isn't handling it well.

I have a job interview tomorrow at 1pm. I hope I get it because I don't know when I'll have my net back on.
I didn't say anything because it just didn't feel right pleading for help again.

Sorry again.

Dox

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PAYPAL: pandadox[at]yahoo.com

SKETCHES
Bust: 10$
Full body: 15$

INKS
Bust: 15$
Full body: 20$

COLOR
Bust: 20$flats 25$cel shaded 35$Full shade/highlight
Full body: 25$flats 35$cel shaded 45+$ Full shade/highlight

Though some prices may vary if the subject/material is more complicated and for multiple characters.


NOTE ME!

PAYPAL: Pandadox[at]yahoo.com

I'm coming close to being out of my backlog of Trotting Dead drawings.

Who are YOU excited about see out of the potential remaining cast members?

Who did you like best out of my interpretations?

Who would you like to see more of?

What on earth should I even do with them?

My Mom and step Dad are freaking out about bills pretty much right outside my door.
I'm so screwed.

NEW LIVES

Well my sister's family has run into a huge bump and have had to move back to the state. Without any solid place for her, her husband, her seven year old, her two year old to even sleep, it's all been very hard.
ADD TO THAT, my sister at the time was very very pregnant. It was nice to be able to be there for her (IN THE ROOM) for the birth. Of course we love the new baby. But this just adds a newborn into that mix.
Needless to say everything has been very busy. I'm pretty sure everything is settling now.


Which brings me to:

OLD PROBLEMS

As you all know I've had to give up my car recently because between NOT running, vandalism and being a neighborhood eyesore I just couldn't hang on to it.

This of course just adds to my JOB problem. I really want a job and I've been in contact with several local walk-to-able businesses back and forth. Trying to get a hold of some work, make money, get a running car, get a better farther away job.

I've had no luck.

None.

I've had a couple of calls recently but they've both been 'We're really looking for someone with manager experience' and 'we're really looking for someone with CAKE DECORATING experience'.
Downtrodden and stressed between rent and bills I've had to skip on paying an internet bill to make sure my rent was paid. So now I've just received a final notice for my internet to get shut off THIS WEEK.

If that happens I have no way to make money for rent.

I really don't know what to do. I've picked my DVD collection clean to trade for cash.

You don't know how terrible and disappointing I feel.

Especially after generous souls saw to it to save me a couple months ago. Allowing me to be there for my sister and her family. (My Neices and Nephews.)





Since it's been a while would those of you whom I owe commissions to: NOTE ME with your Paypal name and a reminder of your order. (I have a list compiled but I'd rather not chance missing ANYONE)

So I may trytrytry to get this handled in some way.

I'm sorry.

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PAYPAL: Pandadox[at]yahoo.com

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Thank you thank you thank you to every one who saw fit to have the means for a donation and anyone who offered words of comfort and kindness!

I have met and surpassed my goal! I was very surprised when I got on to check things today. Surprised isn't the word, because I know you guys are an amazing group of people. I'm just floored with your kindness and I don't know how to extend my gratitude properly.

I really can't thank you enough.

Raising my spirits from that awful ditch is worth way more than money.

As you all know from my last journal, I have only had dark times recently. From multiple family deaths (one being a pet), my car getting it's window totally busted out (someone's idea of fun because everything was in reach but not stolen), to emotional bricks weighing my normally cheery mood and art talent/inspiration DOWN.

I just got a notice telling me my internet will be shut off in less than a week and now panic is overwhelming everything.

My mother is still unemployed due to medical reasons so I can't ask for a loan.

I feel panicked, useless and ashamed.

I'm too backlogged with commissions to even offer them, that's the real fuel on the panic fire. It just wouldn't be fair to anyone for me to do that.


All I can do is crack open an art program and do the best that I can on the one's I do have to do while feeling this way and hope to get enough done to feel like I can take on more.

Thank you all for being patient, and I'm sorry.

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If you'd like to toss me a dollar or two my PAYPAL is: Pandadox[at]yahoo.com . I'm hoping to close the gap between what I have and what I owe to not get my internet shut off at least. The difference is like 25-30$.
Thank you so so much.

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So I've been a bit scarce. But that's because two kinds of grim reaper has been hanging over this house.

The first one:

We were relieved and happy that my mother got taken on to care for my Step Grandfather (Her husbands dad) since she really needed the income after losing her job and taking on a mountain of medical bills after suffering ischemic colitis.

He'd fallen and hurt himself and needed to be cared for during the day while his wife was at work by my mother. We all knew it wouldn't last since he was bound to get better due to the physical therapy.

However. A week after she was told he could take care of himself now and was let go. His wife came home to find him cold, stiff and dead on the couch.

It was a beautiful funeral. Very long, very beautiful.

It's the only time in my fifteen year history with my step father that I'd seen him cry.



The second one:

Our beloved cat Kiki has gone from a plump spoiled thing to skin and bones over the last few months. Of course we knew.. She's a good few years over 20. She's the family cat of course but she has always been my step father's baby. Any given time of day he'd be snoring away in the chair down stairs with her on his lap or curled up in bed asleep with her on his chest.

On the same day as his father's viewing I came down stairs early in the morning to find him in the kitchen. Frowning and looking at Kiki laying on the rug. He noticed me and said,

"She's not gonna last much longer. She's 'bout dead."

That's just the way he talks. Few words as possible. I looks at her and her eyes were wide. She couldn't get comfortable and would change her position to lay a different way and her head would THUNK to the floor because she couldn't keep it up.
I stood by him and cooed at her. She picked up her bony body and limped over to me. I felt bad.
"I didn't mean for you to come all the way over here, Kiki.." So I smoothed my fingers over her coat. I could feel every sharp bone. Her spine was like a saw blade.
"I'll be surprised if she makes it through the day." My Step Father said.

Well she did.

Before I went to bed that night after the viewing I got down on my hands and knees and pet her. Kissed into her fur a few times. And told her good night.

My mother found her at about two in the morning after that when she got up to check on her. Very cold. Very stiff.

The next morning was the Step Grandfathers funeral. So we had to gently store her until we got back home.

My Step Father buried his Dad and his cat baby on the same day.

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Some of the flower arrangements from the funeral were for him so they were brought home. They brought the funeral home smell with them. Sickly sweet with a bit of bitter chemicals. All through the house.

These are not good times. I am not in good spirits and it's hard to find the inspiration to soldier on.

So much death. Mom has no income now. And I still have a back log of commissions to do before I can even make more for rent/bills.

I know I have to snap out of it soon but everything is just so very heavy here.

So if I haven't been talking with you lately this is why and I'm sorry.

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Paypal: pandadox[at]yahoo.com

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