I'm taking a sabbatical from furry for awhile. I am not sure how long.

I can still be reaching through email, and such for those who have my contact info, and wish to get in touch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_RPp4dbam8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-T3coiH-ss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G84iG3Ny3o


Well, I heard there's something going on in America, but ...meh...doesn't count. ;)


Actually, Happy Fourth of July you guys down there!!! :D

I have been reluctant to write this, as it is a very difficult thing for me. My Grandfather's condition upsets me for many reasons, and on many levels.

he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. he was, apparently, carrying a "remarkable" amount of fluid in his chest. He is "better" now, but its a very relative term.

I paid him a short visit Friday evening. He seemed to keep falling asleep while I was there, and something seemed wrong with his breathing. It seemed labored to me.

The doctor has been talking to my Mom, who visit daily, about what should be done when my Grandfather is released form the hospital. There has been no timeline for release established that I know of. The doctor has been recommending that my Grandfather be moved to a palliative care facility. My Mother has not discussed this with my Grandfather. Instead, she is planning to take my Grandfather back to his home, and have him live by himself. She does want to get him a cell phone, and a monitoring system. I really think this is a bad idea, and that he needs constant medical care, or at leas something more readily available.

Try as I might to be optimistic in this situation, I really can't help but think my Grandfather will not be leaving the hospital.

These two songs sum up my planned Deathwatch campaign. Both the titles, and the songs themselves portray the themes I am trying to convey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEcij0ARkmU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmKDVvIEhBY

I just talked to my sister. Sometime this afternoon my parents went to my Grandfather's home, and found him laying on the floor. It is unclear whether or not he was conscious when my parents found him, but he was clearly unable to get up. They called the ambulance, and he was conscious by the time the EMTs arrived. However, he was, apparently, delusional, making claiming among other things that he had not eaten in three weeks, or even left his home for months. My parents visit him 2 or 3 times a week, and always take him out to eat at his favorite restaurant and financially, my Grandfather is fairly well off.

In my search for a new place to live, I have begun trying to use contacts in the local furry community. This has even included talking to someone who is planning on moving into the province in a few months. Fortunately, he's Canadian, but just in a different province, right now.

I finished assembling the "soundtrack" for my Deathwatch RPG campaign. It has a run time of 2 hours, 2 minutes, and 2 seconds.

With hall the overtime I am getting, I have decided to put some money way for more costumes. (I'll actually be ordering the costumes. I currently lack the skills, tools, and space to make my own cosplay costumes. That's something else I plan to fix this year.)

My next costume will be either a Sith or a Jedi. (I'll finish one first, and then make the other.)

Which do people think I should start first? (This is partially an excuse to order sabers from http://www.ultrasabers.com/ ) The final version of the Sith will have 2 light sabers, while the Jedi will have one.

I'm going to have to head down to Toronto tomorrow to do some apartment hunting. I hope I can find something soon. Things are going to get worse where I am currently living , soon.

I slept for almost 12 hours today. When I woke up I didn't feel like I had overslept.

I started taking any and all over tie offered at work. This was after I promised myself that I would at least leave every other Saturday open for something else besides work. I realized that I would rather be at work than at "home" right now. Plus, all the overtime means I have more money for moving. (Actually, at this point, I can pretty much immediately pay first and last on a place in my price range.)

Today, on the way home from work, I realized I was driving almost 20 under the speed limit. Then, I realized, I didn't even want to go home. I actually debating pulling y car in somewhere and just spending the night listening to music and sleep in my car during the day before going back to work.


I really need to move soon!

I found out that a non-furry friend of mine attended a furry BBQ last Sunday. He's a friend of the fur who organized it.

For the last few months/years, I've kept the furry aspect of my life "compartmentalized" from the rest of it.

I had been thinking of going to the BBQ. (My brother was in town visiting my parents, so I hung out with him, and my nieces instead.)

I find that I am both glad, and disappointed now that I missed the BBQ.

It also seems that I have exhausted all possibilities in my immediate area. I will have to move back to Toronto.

I also find that I am strangely undecided about whether or not I want to try dating again.

Why are all the open minded, accepting people so intolerant, negative, and condescending?

Why do the groups that "spread hate and intolerance" seem to the only group where I find positive, uplifting things, and acceptance?



To answer my own question, I should take a short break from FA, and hang out with people I actually enjoy being around.

There are very few apartments for rent around Newmarket. Most of what is available are just rooms for rent. (My current roommates have shown me it is a bad idea to have roommates that you have nothing in common with.)

Besides providing more apartments, moving to Toronto also gives me more options for dating, and possibly finding a mate. Though, that would mean that I would have to go out and interact with people.

I bought a new car today, and I might actually be able to move out next month.

I saw a listing for a bachelor apartment for the same price I am paying now. After I pick up my car, I'll start looking into moving.

I'm not enjoying my solitary life the way I used to. I've made many choices which have isolated me. Moving out of Toronto, and taking the Midnight Shift at work are just two examples.

Some of what motivated these choices could be summed up as, "I wouldn't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member." This has been especially true, with a few notable exceptions, when it comes to dating.

Lately, I have been less and less satisfied with this lifestyle. Social networking online has been a large factor in this. If nothing else, it has served to highlight how disconnected from others I am.

Until certain circumstances change, I am not sure how to change this trend. However, it is something I will pay attention to in the future, and opportunities for change may present themselves.

I kind of wanted to share some stuff today, but I'm really just too tired. I almost want to call in sick to work tonight to get some much needed rest. However, even if I stayed home, I wouldn't get any rest.

I'll probably go to Kingston for Canada Day, and maybe stay a couple of days. I'm not sure what I'll with the rest of the time, if I get that week off.

The shower at the place I am currently living is leaking badly, so we can't use it anymore. It probably won't be fixed until August.

A friend in Vaughn has offered to let me live with him for a few months rent free.

LinkedIn actually has a job posting that looks interesting. Its in North York, near the plant I used to work at. I could potentially make $7 more than I do now, but it would be rotating shifts. 3 days on one shift, 3 days off, 3 days on the next shift, etc...

If you preface a statement related to politics or government with the phrase, "We who put science first", you probably don't really appreciate what science is.

I love a challenge. Actually, to put that more accurately, I >LOVE< a challenge.

When things are routine, I can easily stay focused, and get the job done. (This counts for training, and for work.) However, it is only when faced with a real challenge that I truly shine. The tougher things get the more I relish the experience, and the more strength, power, and even skill, I seem to be able to employ. More than that, though, when I am really pushed, my determination, and to be honest, stubbornness helps me not just to push back, but to drive right through.

Its also important to understand that at best, I see my body as a machine to be driven solely by my will. At worst, I see my body as an opponent to be brutally beaten into submission. (I actually have some opinions about the human body in general, and mine in particular that many people would probably find .. odd.) This means that for me, discomfort is not something to be avoided, or necessarily minimized. Discomfort, and even pain, can be tools to subjugating the flesh to the dictates of the spirit.

If all goes well, this summer I should be able to begin training properly again. Its been too long since I have had a proper regular training program.

People should learn what logical fallacies actually are. Just because you can identify, or misidentify, the type of argument being made does not mean the argument is false.

Being able to identify the means by which a group accomplishes something in no way undermines the fact that the group accomplishes that thing.

You can't claim that your inability to answer every question is a "wonderful opportunity to learn" if you claim that your opponents lack of answers proves them wrong.

I feel betrayed by my own body, but then we never got along all that well to begin with.

I've started compiling a soundtrack for my Deathwatch campaign. I really need to get some players for this.

I got an idea for a group cos-play/performance I'd love to do at a convention. I just need to find a couple of people to join me.

I'll admit it is probably not a very original idea, but it could still be a lot of fun, I think.