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Please Help a Friend of Mine Out!
Posted 2 years agoA friend of mine with the worst luck in the world is being screwed over by his workplace. Again.
He needs a lot of help to make rent, and is willing to sell stuff that is very important to him to do so: Plushies, Fursuits, all sorts. He's desperate for aid. If anyone can send anything his way, help him out even the slightest, it would mean a lot.
I know things are very tight for everyone though, so if you cant donate, please at least spread the word. He's very kind, very sweet, just... constantly dealing with the worst bullshit. Thank you all ❤️
Click here for info on how to help: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10786982/
He needs a lot of help to make rent, and is willing to sell stuff that is very important to him to do so: Plushies, Fursuits, all sorts. He's desperate for aid. If anyone can send anything his way, help him out even the slightest, it would mean a lot.
I know things are very tight for everyone though, so if you cant donate, please at least spread the word. He's very kind, very sweet, just... constantly dealing with the worst bullshit. Thank you all ❤️
Click here for info on how to help: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10786982/
Completely burned out. [VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ]
Posted 2 years agoI hate to make journals like this, but... this is really important, and I want to keep you all in the loop.
I'm not okay.
Currently, I think I'm going through the worst depression I've ever felt in my life. Its stemming from a truth that Ive been unable to avoid: I'm beyond burned out.
I have zero desire to draw. I feel no joy when thinking about vore or other kinks. I don't want to even LOOK at anthropomorphic characters sometimes. Nothing I do brings me joy, or makes me feel anything. I feel just... so empty, so nothing, so blank. When I do feel, its always negative emotions. Deep sadness, regret, and most of all, an overwhelming feeling of uselessness. I feel like a complete waste of a person, like a failure. I still can't get a job, and I'm an artist that gets physically sick when I try to draw. I feel so horribly, deeply, overwhelmingly miserable. I'm trying desperately to cling onto anything that brings joy, anything that makes me feel normal, but nothing is working. All joy from what I do is just... gone. It's why I've not posted, barely drawn at all, and go months without streaming. I feel like complete utter shit.
I know I owe so much, I owe a ton of art, but right now, I just... I just can't do it. I can't. And this feeling, this inability to draw, it makes me feel worse than anything. My brain is screaming at me to get the art done, I am desperate to work on it, but I just cannot. No matter what I do, I can barely put pencil to paper without wanting to vomit.
I feel like I've ruined my reputation here in the vore community. I feel like I'm throwing my relevancy away, and losing what I've built up over the years. I'm constantly in need of help, constantly a downer, can't finish what I owe, and I barely even post. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to interact with me anymore. I'm a frigging mess. I feel like I'm succumbing to all the worst traits I've fought hard to avoid for years, and I wouldn't blame anyone for hating me or avoiding me.
I'm absolutely miserable. I feel sick typing this, because I just... I hate venting or talking about my problems, I hate putting my burdens on y'all. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for why things aren't done or happening. I just... I'm really, really not okay, and I don't think I can do much of anything until I find a way to feel better.
There is so much I want to do, so many ideas I want to share, but I just... cannot do any of them right now. Not while I'm this deeply depressed, this poor, or this burned out. I have to feel joy again before I can create, I have to find financial stability, and I have to get my mind right.
I just wanted to keep you all informed because I might need to step away for a bit... It makes me feel even worse to have to do that, cause I know folks will be waiting even longer for stuff, but I cannot keep doing things like I am. Feeling like this makes me want to die, so something's gotta change.
I'll be trying my best. I love you all and thank you for sticking with me through the worst time of my life. If I ever get through it, I want to do so much to make it up to all of you. Thank you.
I'm not okay.
Currently, I think I'm going through the worst depression I've ever felt in my life. Its stemming from a truth that Ive been unable to avoid: I'm beyond burned out.
I have zero desire to draw. I feel no joy when thinking about vore or other kinks. I don't want to even LOOK at anthropomorphic characters sometimes. Nothing I do brings me joy, or makes me feel anything. I feel just... so empty, so nothing, so blank. When I do feel, its always negative emotions. Deep sadness, regret, and most of all, an overwhelming feeling of uselessness. I feel like a complete waste of a person, like a failure. I still can't get a job, and I'm an artist that gets physically sick when I try to draw. I feel so horribly, deeply, overwhelmingly miserable. I'm trying desperately to cling onto anything that brings joy, anything that makes me feel normal, but nothing is working. All joy from what I do is just... gone. It's why I've not posted, barely drawn at all, and go months without streaming. I feel like complete utter shit.
I know I owe so much, I owe a ton of art, but right now, I just... I just can't do it. I can't. And this feeling, this inability to draw, it makes me feel worse than anything. My brain is screaming at me to get the art done, I am desperate to work on it, but I just cannot. No matter what I do, I can barely put pencil to paper without wanting to vomit.
I feel like I've ruined my reputation here in the vore community. I feel like I'm throwing my relevancy away, and losing what I've built up over the years. I'm constantly in need of help, constantly a downer, can't finish what I owe, and I barely even post. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to interact with me anymore. I'm a frigging mess. I feel like I'm succumbing to all the worst traits I've fought hard to avoid for years, and I wouldn't blame anyone for hating me or avoiding me.
I'm absolutely miserable. I feel sick typing this, because I just... I hate venting or talking about my problems, I hate putting my burdens on y'all. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for why things aren't done or happening. I just... I'm really, really not okay, and I don't think I can do much of anything until I find a way to feel better.
There is so much I want to do, so many ideas I want to share, but I just... cannot do any of them right now. Not while I'm this deeply depressed, this poor, or this burned out. I have to feel joy again before I can create, I have to find financial stability, and I have to get my mind right.
I just wanted to keep you all informed because I might need to step away for a bit... It makes me feel even worse to have to do that, cause I know folks will be waiting even longer for stuff, but I cannot keep doing things like I am. Feeling like this makes me want to die, so something's gotta change.
I'll be trying my best. I love you all and thank you for sticking with me through the worst time of my life. If I ever get through it, I want to do so much to make it up to all of you. Thank you.
The Wile E Coyote Video [NEW VIDEO]
Posted 2 years agoIt is here.
Thanks to everyone's incredible generosity, the $1000 goal was hit during the Marathon of Mayhem fundraiser! Because of all of you, I was able to pay my bills and expenses.
As promised, I have filmed a very silly video while wearing a Wile E Coyote suit. I do hope you all enjoy it <3
If you missed the Marathon of Mayhem, I have uploaded all 10 VODs for you to enjoy. You can watch the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....FQGNjOkzHXmUt3
Now that all of that is finished, I will be resuming art and more asap. I have a lot of stuff planned, and I really want to get to it. I hope you all enjoy the things I have in store. Thank you all for your continued support and kindness <3
Thanks to everyone's incredible generosity, the $1000 goal was hit during the Marathon of Mayhem fundraiser! Because of all of you, I was able to pay my bills and expenses.
As promised, I have filmed a very silly video while wearing a Wile E Coyote suit. I do hope you all enjoy it <3
If you missed the Marathon of Mayhem, I have uploaded all 10 VODs for you to enjoy. You can watch the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....FQGNjOkzHXmUt3
Now that all of that is finished, I will be resuming art and more asap. I have a lot of stuff planned, and I really want to get to it. I hope you all enjoy the things I have in store. Thank you all for your continued support and kindness <3
Birth a day
Posted 2 years agoIt birthday
I ate big food
Tummy full <3
Art n videos and more are comin asap i wanna make 28 a good year for me where i dont stink.
Love you all <3
I ate big food
Tummy full <3
Art n videos and more are comin asap i wanna make 28 a good year for me where i dont stink.
Love you all <3
Marathon of Mayhem Stretch Goals and VODs
Posted 2 years agoHi everyone! I just wanted to update y'all on a few things regarding the Marathon of Mayhem's stretch goals:
If you donate/donated $30 or more, you can ask me to play any toony, warner-bros adjacent game you want! I'll have to play the game for at least 1 hour. If you want to redeem this, and get a game played, please send me a DM/PM, discord message, or comment, to let me know what game you want me to play. If I think it fits the theme, I'll gladly play it asap! I am going to limit this to one game per person, so choose wisely.
If you donate/donated $100 or more, you can decide what will be written on one of Wile E Coyote's signs in the upcoming video I have to make! If you don't know what I mean by that, check out the previous journals/posts. Please DM/PM, Discord Message, or comment immediately so I can know what to make the sign say. Please keep it appropriate, I have to go out in public with these signs...
I plan on uploading the full stream VODs very soon, so anyone who missed the marathon can still enjoy it. I'll also be editing together a video relatively soon.
All of this has inspired me so much, I hope I can ride this creative wave to make a lot of good stuff happen, including art. Thank you for your support and PLEASE ask me if you have any questions.
If you donate/donated $30 or more, you can ask me to play any toony, warner-bros adjacent game you want! I'll have to play the game for at least 1 hour. If you want to redeem this, and get a game played, please send me a DM/PM, discord message, or comment, to let me know what game you want me to play. If I think it fits the theme, I'll gladly play it asap! I am going to limit this to one game per person, so choose wisely.
If you donate/donated $100 or more, you can decide what will be written on one of Wile E Coyote's signs in the upcoming video I have to make! If you don't know what I mean by that, check out the previous journals/posts. Please DM/PM, Discord Message, or comment immediately so I can know what to make the sign say. Please keep it appropriate, I have to go out in public with these signs...
I plan on uploading the full stream VODs very soon, so anyone who missed the marathon can still enjoy it. I'll also be editing together a video relatively soon.
All of this has inspired me so much, I hope I can ride this creative wave to make a lot of good stuff happen, including art. Thank you for your support and PLEASE ask me if you have any questions.
Marathon of Mayhem Main Goal FUNDED! Stretch Goal Time...
Posted 2 years agoOn day 6 of the Marathon, (the 20th) we hit the goal of $1000 donated!
I can't thank you all enough for your help. I am just... I didn't think I would get this much help, I didn't think folks would be into the streams this much, and I didn't think I was worth such tremendous kindness. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for helping me!
The goal has been hit, and all of the required games have been played, but we're not quite done yet:
Paypal fees took a bit more than I expected. I'll be ok, but it's a lot closer than I thought. So, I've decided to do some stretch goals/rewards for anyone who donates (or has donated) during the next stream on Sunday October 29th.
If you donate/donated at least $30, you get to tell me what Looney Tunes/Warner style toony game you wish for me to play. If I agree that it's on topic and within the theme, I'll look at the game for at least an hour. If you donate/donated $100 or more, you get to decide what text will be on one of my Wile E Coyote signs that I'll be using in the video I have to make. As long as it's appropriate of course.
I'm so excited to stream again, to get back to this, but right now, I'm taking a little break with my boy floatymyboaty. He's over da house and we gon see da FNAF movie! Spooky! Once he goes home I'll be workin hard on the stream, and the Wile E video. I can't wait <3
I love you all so much. This marathon has really helped with my depression and inspiration, and shown me just how much y'all care about me and the things I do. I'm gonna do right by all of you, I swear <3
See you Sunday!
I can't thank you all enough for your help. I am just... I didn't think I would get this much help, I didn't think folks would be into the streams this much, and I didn't think I was worth such tremendous kindness. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for helping me!
The goal has been hit, and all of the required games have been played, but we're not quite done yet:
Paypal fees took a bit more than I expected. I'll be ok, but it's a lot closer than I thought. So, I've decided to do some stretch goals/rewards for anyone who donates (or has donated) during the next stream on Sunday October 29th.
If you donate/donated at least $30, you get to tell me what Looney Tunes/Warner style toony game you wish for me to play. If I agree that it's on topic and within the theme, I'll look at the game for at least an hour. If you donate/donated $100 or more, you get to decide what text will be on one of my Wile E Coyote signs that I'll be using in the video I have to make. As long as it's appropriate of course.
I'm so excited to stream again, to get back to this, but right now, I'm taking a little break with my boy floatymyboaty. He's over da house and we gon see da FNAF movie! Spooky! Once he goes home I'll be workin hard on the stream, and the Wile E video. I can't wait <3
I love you all so much. This marathon has really helped with my depression and inspiration, and shown me just how much y'all care about me and the things I do. I'm gonna do right by all of you, I swear <3
See you Sunday!
TOMORROW: Marathon of Mayhem Stream Fundraiser!
Posted 2 years agoThis month has been really hard for me financially. I've been looking hard for work, and trying to get back into the swing of drawing again, but I've also been hit with a huge car insurance bill, just as I've run out of funds for rent. I.. need a lot of help...
Normally, I'd do some art to raise money for this, but I do not feel right taking on even more work when so much is still owed. I've been trying to get it done, but I'm still heavily burned out, and all this stress is making the results... not so good. It doesn't help that I've not drawn consistently in a while. I'm trying to shake off the rust to get back into the swing of drawing each day, but its a lot slower than anticipated, and I have unfortunately run out of time.
So, to try and raise funds for rent, and bills, I'm going to be doing a marathon stream!
Tomorrow, I'll be starting The Marathon of Mayhem: A Looney Tunes themed stream fundraiser, where your donations determine what games I'll be playing!
As the donation total increases, more games will be "unlocked," and I'll be forced to play them. These games range from fantastic hidden gems like Sheep Raider, to insufferable mistakes like Bubsy 3D. I'm not going to be beating every game, but I am going to give it my best try, and make sure everything gets its time in the spotlight. Yes, even Bubsy. The stream's length will be determined by how many donations I get. The more games unlocked, the longer the stream is. It could take one day, or the whole week. It's ultimately up to y'all: If you want more streams, or want to see me play specific games, donate! It's that simple. ^^
The games featured in the marathon are:
$0 - PS1 – Sheep Raider
$25 - PS2 – Defenders of the Universe
$50 - GB – Twouble
$75 - GENESIS – Desert Demolition
$100 - SNES – Wile E’s Revenge
$125 - GBA – Pinky and the Brain: The Master Plan
$150 - PS1 – Looney Tunes Racing
$175 - PS2 – Space Race
$200 - GENESIS – ACME All-Stars
$225 - SNES – Bubsy
$250 - PS1 – Plucky’s Big Adventure
$275 - GBA – Buster’s Bad Dream
$300 - PC – Toontown Rewritten
$325 - GAMECUBE – Back in Action
$350 - SNES – Buster Busts Loose
$375 - SNES – Animaniacs
$400 - GENESIS – Animaniacs
$425 - PS1 - Jersey Devil
$450 - PS1 – Toonenstein
$475 - SNES – Looney Tunes B- Ball
$500 - NES – Tiny Toon Adventures
$525 - PS1 – Bugs Bunny and Taz: Time Busters
$550 - GENESIS – Buster’s Hidden Treasure
$575 - GAMECUBE – The Great Edgar Hunt
$600 - GBC – Daffy Duck: Fowl Play
$625 - PS1 – The Great Beanstalk
$650 - GAMECUBE – Taz Wanted
$675 - Gamecube – War of the Whiskers
$700 - PS1 – Space Jam
$725 - PC - Toonstruck
$750 - GENESIS – Sylvester & Tweety in Cagey Capers
$775 - GBC – Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle 3
$800 - SNES – Bubsy 2
$825 - FLASH GAME FRENZY
$850 - GENESIS – Taz-Mania
$875 - N64 – Fists of Furry
$900 - GENESIS – Escape From Mars
$925 - WII – ACME Arsenal
$950 - PS1 – Bubsy 3D
$1000 – WILE E. COYOTE FINAL TRANSFORMATION
As you can see, that final goal there is rather... Special~
If we hit the lofty goal of $1000, which I honestly don't expect to happen, I'll have to purchase a Wile E Coyote Union Suit from Spirit Halloween, and film a very stupid video for you all to enjoy. <3
While I do understand that not everyone has a twitch account, it makes things a lot easier for me if you donate through the Streamlabs button on my Twitch page. It helps me keep track of everything, letting me know which games are unlocked right away. You also get to see a funny lil alert and hear a text to speech voice read back your personal message, which is very fun. If you aren't comfortable donating this way, but you still want to, that's super okay. I have a Ko-Fi here: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
If you have any questions, please let me know, I am more than happy to answer. I also... am very nervous about this in general... I hate asking for help with these things, and I know I've been... very absent, and that I've taken forever on art. I hope this doesn't make anyone mad I just... I wanna make you all smile, and I hope I can do this right <3
The stream will be live starting tomorrow at 2:00 EST. It will go as long as it can, continuing day after day until all games are played. (With proper sleep breaks and such inbetween.) If you want to be alerted when the stream begins, please follow my Twitch channel! That also helps me grow a lot. Thank you all so much <3
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
Normally, I'd do some art to raise money for this, but I do not feel right taking on even more work when so much is still owed. I've been trying to get it done, but I'm still heavily burned out, and all this stress is making the results... not so good. It doesn't help that I've not drawn consistently in a while. I'm trying to shake off the rust to get back into the swing of drawing each day, but its a lot slower than anticipated, and I have unfortunately run out of time.
So, to try and raise funds for rent, and bills, I'm going to be doing a marathon stream!
Tomorrow, I'll be starting The Marathon of Mayhem: A Looney Tunes themed stream fundraiser, where your donations determine what games I'll be playing!
As the donation total increases, more games will be "unlocked," and I'll be forced to play them. These games range from fantastic hidden gems like Sheep Raider, to insufferable mistakes like Bubsy 3D. I'm not going to be beating every game, but I am going to give it my best try, and make sure everything gets its time in the spotlight. Yes, even Bubsy. The stream's length will be determined by how many donations I get. The more games unlocked, the longer the stream is. It could take one day, or the whole week. It's ultimately up to y'all: If you want more streams, or want to see me play specific games, donate! It's that simple. ^^
The games featured in the marathon are:
$0 - PS1 – Sheep Raider
$25 - PS2 – Defenders of the Universe
$50 - GB – Twouble
$75 - GENESIS – Desert Demolition
$100 - SNES – Wile E’s Revenge
$125 - GBA – Pinky and the Brain: The Master Plan
$150 - PS1 – Looney Tunes Racing
$175 - PS2 – Space Race
$200 - GENESIS – ACME All-Stars
$225 - SNES – Bubsy
$250 - PS1 – Plucky’s Big Adventure
$275 - GBA – Buster’s Bad Dream
$300 - PC – Toontown Rewritten
$325 - GAMECUBE – Back in Action
$350 - SNES – Buster Busts Loose
$375 - SNES – Animaniacs
$400 - GENESIS – Animaniacs
$425 - PS1 - Jersey Devil
$450 - PS1 – Toonenstein
$475 - SNES – Looney Tunes B- Ball
$500 - NES – Tiny Toon Adventures
$525 - PS1 – Bugs Bunny and Taz: Time Busters
$550 - GENESIS – Buster’s Hidden Treasure
$575 - GAMECUBE – The Great Edgar Hunt
$600 - GBC – Daffy Duck: Fowl Play
$625 - PS1 – The Great Beanstalk
$650 - GAMECUBE – Taz Wanted
$675 - Gamecube – War of the Whiskers
$700 - PS1 – Space Jam
$725 - PC - Toonstruck
$750 - GENESIS – Sylvester & Tweety in Cagey Capers
$775 - GBC – Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle 3
$800 - SNES – Bubsy 2
$825 - FLASH GAME FRENZY
$850 - GENESIS – Taz-Mania
$875 - N64 – Fists of Furry
$900 - GENESIS – Escape From Mars
$925 - WII – ACME Arsenal
$950 - PS1 – Bubsy 3D
$1000 – WILE E. COYOTE FINAL TRANSFORMATION
As you can see, that final goal there is rather... Special~
If we hit the lofty goal of $1000, which I honestly don't expect to happen, I'll have to purchase a Wile E Coyote Union Suit from Spirit Halloween, and film a very stupid video for you all to enjoy. <3
While I do understand that not everyone has a twitch account, it makes things a lot easier for me if you donate through the Streamlabs button on my Twitch page. It helps me keep track of everything, letting me know which games are unlocked right away. You also get to see a funny lil alert and hear a text to speech voice read back your personal message, which is very fun. If you aren't comfortable donating this way, but you still want to, that's super okay. I have a Ko-Fi here: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
If you have any questions, please let me know, I am more than happy to answer. I also... am very nervous about this in general... I hate asking for help with these things, and I know I've been... very absent, and that I've taken forever on art. I hope this doesn't make anyone mad I just... I wanna make you all smile, and I hope I can do this right <3
The stream will be live starting tomorrow at 2:00 EST. It will go as long as it can, continuing day after day until all games are played. (With proper sleep breaks and such inbetween.) If you want to be alerted when the stream begins, please follow my Twitch channel! That also helps me grow a lot. Thank you all so much <3
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
Thoughts on Tiny Toons Looniversity! [NEW VIDEO]
Posted 2 years agoI'm a MASSIVE Tiny Toons fan, so I absolutely HAD to make a video about the new show. Please check it out! I worked very hard on it, and I think I said at least one intelligent thing.
Doing stuff like this is helping to get my creative juices flowing during this rough time. It makes me feel good that I'm making things, that I'm finishing projects. I'm gonna get back into a creative swing, and I'll be weilding a sledge hammer: Theres gonna be a lot of neat stuff coming your way. I hope to make everyone happy.
Thank you for your support and kindness and patience with me, I really appreciate all of you, and I hope this video entertains you. Please let me know what you think! A-and I hate doing the whole "Like comment subscribe" thing but it genuinely helps a lot. Thank you! <3
Doing stuff like this is helping to get my creative juices flowing during this rough time. It makes me feel good that I'm making things, that I'm finishing projects. I'm gonna get back into a creative swing, and I'll be weilding a sledge hammer: Theres gonna be a lot of neat stuff coming your way. I hope to make everyone happy.
Thank you for your support and kindness and patience with me, I really appreciate all of you, and I hope this video entertains you. Please let me know what you think! A-and I hate doing the whole "Like comment subscribe" thing but it genuinely helps a lot. Thank you! <3
I had a job interview today...
Posted 2 years agoToday was a big day. As you all know, I've been looking really hard for work, trying to find something I can do with my messed up hands, and my mental health issues. I finally found a factory job through a friend of mine, and today I had a job interview. It went rather well, but the whole process made me realize something...
The job was a very hard labor job, working in a factory to manufactor materials. It would be intensive, dangerous, and physically demanding. The commute alone was 1 hour of driving on difficult, winding backroads. The job would pay $20 an hour, but it would be incredibly demanding of me.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about something the HR lady said to me during the interview: "Why did you stop doing your art?" And as i kept thinking about that, as well as years of occurances and events, a realization hit me like a laser beam to the brain, like a neuron activated a switch inside me:
"Why did I stop doing my art? Why would i put myself through such intensive labor, and not get a retail job literally a minute from my house? What the fuck am I doing?"
It just... hit me like a train. It filled me with such a fire. What the fuck AM i doing? Why work so hard, so intensely, so dangeroisly, and be too tired to art, when i could literally work an easy retail job minutes from my apartment? I just... I was so worried about being around customers, around random people, and i do have anxiety about that, but is that really worse than working in a dangrous factory an hour away every day? I dont think so. If i just pushed through the damn burnout, i could do art an just... you know... be successful? Make decent money? People have been asking for comnissions for ages, and folks say i gotta raise my prices constantly. If i just... did the shit i had to do, AND did a simple retail job? Id be fuckin golden. Why am i not doing that?? What is my PROBLEM? i just... gotta do it
And i will.
Im sorry its taken me so long...
Stay tuned for more info n such
The job was a very hard labor job, working in a factory to manufactor materials. It would be intensive, dangerous, and physically demanding. The commute alone was 1 hour of driving on difficult, winding backroads. The job would pay $20 an hour, but it would be incredibly demanding of me.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about something the HR lady said to me during the interview: "Why did you stop doing your art?" And as i kept thinking about that, as well as years of occurances and events, a realization hit me like a laser beam to the brain, like a neuron activated a switch inside me:
"Why did I stop doing my art? Why would i put myself through such intensive labor, and not get a retail job literally a minute from my house? What the fuck am I doing?"
It just... hit me like a train. It filled me with such a fire. What the fuck AM i doing? Why work so hard, so intensely, so dangeroisly, and be too tired to art, when i could literally work an easy retail job minutes from my apartment? I just... I was so worried about being around customers, around random people, and i do have anxiety about that, but is that really worse than working in a dangrous factory an hour away every day? I dont think so. If i just pushed through the damn burnout, i could do art an just... you know... be successful? Make decent money? People have been asking for comnissions for ages, and folks say i gotta raise my prices constantly. If i just... did the shit i had to do, AND did a simple retail job? Id be fuckin golden. Why am i not doing that?? What is my PROBLEM? i just... gotta do it
And i will.
Im sorry its taken me so long...
Stay tuned for more info n such
NEW VIDEO: Dimension Shellshock Highlights!
Posted 2 years agoThings have been very stressful for me lately, and the only way I've been able to stay sane/creative during this hard time has been streaming and video editing. Thank you all for supporting me and sticking with me while i fight through the bad times. I'll be drawing more soon, but for now, please enjoy the very normal video <3
If you want to subscribe to my twitch, it would help tremendously. I am trying to stream more regularly as it's good for my mental health and creativity. I'd love to see y'all there <3 twitch.tv/pieman24601
If you want to subscribe to my twitch, it would help tremendously. I am trying to stream more regularly as it's good for my mental health and creativity. I'd love to see y'all there <3 twitch.tv/pieman24601
Sorry for being so slow...
Posted 2 years agoI'm so sorry with how slow everything has been. I have so much on the to do list that has not gotten done. There really isn't a good excuse for it either. My mental health has been bad, yes, but I need to push through. If I don't at least try, nothing will get done. I'm trying my hardest to break past this wall of burnout/exhaustion/whatever it is. I don't like making all of you wait so long for commissions, content, or for me to make good on my word. Its unacceptable and I hate it. I want to do right by all of you.
I just wanted to let you all know that I'm trying, and to apologize for how long its taking. Things WILL happen they just... might be a bit slow as i struggle to push past my own stupid issues. I want to make you all proud and deserve your support.
Today I'll be trying to finish up my Twitch revamp, so I can at least stream semi-regularly again. It's good for my mental health to stream, and getting something done that is art related will help push me past the negative barriers.
Once again, I really am sorry for the wait, and for just... being so absent for the last few years. I want to do good things and make you all happy.
Thank you for sticking with me despite it all. Love you all lots <3
I just wanted to let you all know that I'm trying, and to apologize for how long its taking. Things WILL happen they just... might be a bit slow as i struggle to push past my own stupid issues. I want to make you all proud and deserve your support.
Today I'll be trying to finish up my Twitch revamp, so I can at least stream semi-regularly again. It's good for my mental health to stream, and getting something done that is art related will help push me past the negative barriers.
Once again, I really am sorry for the wait, and for just... being so absent for the last few years. I want to do good things and make you all happy.
Thank you for sticking with me despite it all. Love you all lots <3
My mental health is not good at all.
Posted 2 years agoI'm not alright.
Ever sense I got back from Anthrocon, I've been horrifically depressed.
For those who do not know, I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I'm medicated for it, but there's only so much that can do.
I just... I feel so useless and hopeless lately. I am stuck in this horrible spiral that I fear I can't get out of. I am poor as hell, with less than $5 to my name. I WANT to get a job, I WANT to work, but despite everything I do, I just cannot find anywhere willing to work with me. I have to be picky with work, not just because of my mental health/trauma issues, but also because I have severe tendonitis and carpel tunnel in my hands, not to mention spine and neck issues. My body is pretty friggin useless and it's constantly injuring itself, or trying to kill me for no fucking reason.
I can't draw, each time I try to put pencil to paper, I feel physically sick, unable to do a thing. When I try to take a break to recharge, I feel even worse, because I feel like I'm being unproductive or wasting time. I know I'm allowed to take breaks, I know it's okay to rest, but my brain doesn't get that message. I don't FEEL like it's okay, because when I'm not doing the art I owe, I feel horrific. I feel like I'm scamming you or doing something wrong. I'm also just... so burned out on everything. I don't enjoy vore, I don't enjoy any of my kinks, or even any of my interests, I'm just... I'm just tired. I felt artistically inspired for like 5 seconds after getting home from the con, but once the reality of living in this hell-world hit me again, it vanished. I feel arguably worse now, like I'll never get to the point other artists get to, because... I mean I literally cant even draw right now, I can't even FEEL right now, I feel empty and vague and helpless. I don't know what I want, I just know I can't get it. I can't even do the things I said I would in the last journal, because I just... I feel so sick of my furry stuff right now that I almost want to just never get on my PC ever again. That feeling makes me feel even worse because I don't WANT to feel that way and just... It's horrible, it's like my brain is a foreign entity in my body that wants me to die constantly, and refuses to let me know a second of fucking peace. I'm just miserable. I've been miserable for years now, and I just have no idea how anyone puts up with me. I have no idea how you all still support me, or why you'd want to see me, or why you'd want to engage with the little i manage to do.
I'm just not ok. I'm really really not ok. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, hopefully something can be done, but honestly? I just feel incredibly fucking hopeless... I don't feel like I'll ever get a job I'll be able to do. I'll never get a job that will be willing to pay me a living wage. I'll never get to afford food, an apartment, let alone furry luxuries. I feel like this hellhole reality I'm trapped in is determined to kill me, to keep me fucking miserable. If I could just find work, and not have money stress every god damn second of every day, I'd be able to breathe and maybe recover. But that's not allowed. I just... I get up an inch, and the world, my life, just beats me a mile back down. I've burst through the bottom of the barrel like 10 times, each time thinking it can't get worse, only for life to prove me wrong.
I'm so sorry to rant publicly about this, but it's effecting my art productivity, so you need to know. I'm sorry about everything I just... I'm tired. I'm so tired. I'm not going to do anything or hurt myself, so please don't worry about that. I just... I have nowhere else to turn, nothing else to do, I dunno I just need to scream into the void sometimes...
Also: About my gallery deletion/reupload n such, I will probably just be going through each post I have, and curating/editing them instead of deleting everything just to reupload it. I will still be deleting things, so make sure you save your favorites. Though with my current mental health, these changes might take a friggin year who knows...
Sorry...
Ever sense I got back from Anthrocon, I've been horrifically depressed.
For those who do not know, I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I'm medicated for it, but there's only so much that can do.
I just... I feel so useless and hopeless lately. I am stuck in this horrible spiral that I fear I can't get out of. I am poor as hell, with less than $5 to my name. I WANT to get a job, I WANT to work, but despite everything I do, I just cannot find anywhere willing to work with me. I have to be picky with work, not just because of my mental health/trauma issues, but also because I have severe tendonitis and carpel tunnel in my hands, not to mention spine and neck issues. My body is pretty friggin useless and it's constantly injuring itself, or trying to kill me for no fucking reason.
I can't draw, each time I try to put pencil to paper, I feel physically sick, unable to do a thing. When I try to take a break to recharge, I feel even worse, because I feel like I'm being unproductive or wasting time. I know I'm allowed to take breaks, I know it's okay to rest, but my brain doesn't get that message. I don't FEEL like it's okay, because when I'm not doing the art I owe, I feel horrific. I feel like I'm scamming you or doing something wrong. I'm also just... so burned out on everything. I don't enjoy vore, I don't enjoy any of my kinks, or even any of my interests, I'm just... I'm just tired. I felt artistically inspired for like 5 seconds after getting home from the con, but once the reality of living in this hell-world hit me again, it vanished. I feel arguably worse now, like I'll never get to the point other artists get to, because... I mean I literally cant even draw right now, I can't even FEEL right now, I feel empty and vague and helpless. I don't know what I want, I just know I can't get it. I can't even do the things I said I would in the last journal, because I just... I feel so sick of my furry stuff right now that I almost want to just never get on my PC ever again. That feeling makes me feel even worse because I don't WANT to feel that way and just... It's horrible, it's like my brain is a foreign entity in my body that wants me to die constantly, and refuses to let me know a second of fucking peace. I'm just miserable. I've been miserable for years now, and I just have no idea how anyone puts up with me. I have no idea how you all still support me, or why you'd want to see me, or why you'd want to engage with the little i manage to do.
I'm just not ok. I'm really really not ok. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, hopefully something can be done, but honestly? I just feel incredibly fucking hopeless... I don't feel like I'll ever get a job I'll be able to do. I'll never get a job that will be willing to pay me a living wage. I'll never get to afford food, an apartment, let alone furry luxuries. I feel like this hellhole reality I'm trapped in is determined to kill me, to keep me fucking miserable. If I could just find work, and not have money stress every god damn second of every day, I'd be able to breathe and maybe recover. But that's not allowed. I just... I get up an inch, and the world, my life, just beats me a mile back down. I've burst through the bottom of the barrel like 10 times, each time thinking it can't get worse, only for life to prove me wrong.
I'm so sorry to rant publicly about this, but it's effecting my art productivity, so you need to know. I'm sorry about everything I just... I'm tired. I'm so tired. I'm not going to do anything or hurt myself, so please don't worry about that. I just... I have nowhere else to turn, nothing else to do, I dunno I just need to scream into the void sometimes...
Also: About my gallery deletion/reupload n such, I will probably just be going through each post I have, and curating/editing them instead of deleting everything just to reupload it. I will still be deleting things, so make sure you save your favorites. Though with my current mental health, these changes might take a friggin year who knows...
Sorry...
Vacation Over: Big Changes Coming, PLEASE READ!
Posted 2 years agoAnthrocon was... interesting this year.
I had a lot of fun, and being there again felt really wonderful, but there were some... complications. It wasn't my worst Anthrocon, but it was easily the second worst I've had so far. It's rather complicated and hard to explain, but I'll try:
A lot of what went wrong this year was more the fault of personal tastes and preferences then outright bad events or actions. Nobody really did anything wrong, I'm not trying to call anyone out or anything. We just all enjoy different things and It didn't quite work out as expected.
For example, I had a wonderful time hanging out with Floaty, but we realized that conventions aren't really his thing. He had plenty of moments where he enjoyed himself, but Anthrocon didn't really click with him. He's a big introvert, and he doesn't really know many furry folks. So he would've preferred to go somewhere with just us two. When we got to do that after the con around my place, we had a blast. I feel really bad that I dragged him to something he didn't really enjoy...
I love my sister very much, but she is the kind of person who loves to party. She enjoys taking a substance or two and then going to the rave. She's very outgoing and extroverted. These things aren't bad, but they don't mix well with two, shy introverts. She and her girlfriend went off on their own for most of the con, but whenever we would meet up in the hotel room, things could be... a bit uncomfortable.
Again, it's not really anyone's fault, nobody's done anything wrong, we just... weren't really compatible together as a group like this. We needed our own spaces and unfortunately we didn't really have that.
I had fun, but it was at the cost of making sure everyone else had fun first. I felt responsible for the group, like I had to take care of everyone, and as such, I didn't really get to do a lot of stuff I wanted to do. For example, we left super early on the last day of con, because everyone was pretty much done or sick, and wanted to head home. I wanted to stay and visit with my friends, but I also did not want to make everyone stay if they were miserable.
Its just unfortunate. A lot of the convention was really wonderful. I had a blast hanging out with Jinsei and his friends, as well as Humbug, Damien, Lapseph, and the gang. Hugging Josephine was lovely, meeting Teshy, killer654 and all sorts of folks made me super happy, and going to the official Fuga 2 panel was fantastic. But overall I just kinda... felt a bit sad about the con.
I want to go back next year, but with my lack of a job, and financial instability, I don't know if I CAN go back next year. That thought makes me deeply depressed. I don't want to miss this again. I don't want to go another year without being in a space where I can be openly... me.
So, a lot of big changes are happening in order to help move my life in a more positive direction. Some of this has been planned for a long time, and some of this has become necessary due to current events:
• Over the course of this month, I will be deleting and re-uploading my entire gallery. This will be happening on Furaffinity, and Eka's Portal.
I have had this idea for a long time now. My galleries just... do NOT feel like my own. I don't feel like I'm uploading the art I want to see, or making the content I want to make. I don't feel like I'm in control of what I post, and I feel like that is hurting me creatively and mentally. I want to take it all down, then go bit by bit, re-uploading carefully, to manage exactly what I want folks to see and feel when they look at my stuff. I want my characters to feel real, my worlds to feel special. I want people to know what Sarah Vixen is like, instead of that info being stuck in my head. I want to just... do better. I want to deserve and earn the praise you all give me, with art that I feel proud of. It's kinda hard to explain but I just... want to feel like my characters are important, and that people come to me for... well... ME.
Also, sense Furaffinity's mods are getting worse every day, please let me know if you have ANY suggestions or recommendations on which websites I should look into. I'm very curious where my audience is migrating to.
• My Patreon is being majorly revamped again, or it's going to be replaced entirely with a Subscribestar
I'm going to need your feedback on this one the most. I've not been a very good content creator. I've been bungling it on Patreon pretty badly. Yet despite that, people still support me. I'm eternally grateful for that. However, I'd like to do a WAY better job, and EARN your support, by uploading a more regular stream of content there. I'm still working out the details, but I've decided I should probably leave Patreon. It is my understanding that you can get suspended quite easily for drawing vore content, specially non-con vore. As someone who enjoys non-willing prey, that's not great for me. If you know more about this situation, and have suggestions or advice, please let me know. My patreon/subscribestar are for the community, so your feedback is very important to me. Please let me know what you want to see!
• Artpacks, comics, and more, are going to be available for sale.
This is a big one. I've wanted to make things that folks can purchase for a very long time now. It would help me tremendously with my "being stupidly poor" problem. However, I've just... not done it. I've not gotten off my ass and started making the damn things.
That changes now. I will be starting relatively simple, but I hope to have a lil gumroad store up soon with all sorts of things you can purchase digitally. Someday, I also want to vendor at conventions, selling things like Sarah Vixen Plushies/Dakis, and prints n such. But of course, I can't do any of this unless I... actually start making the art. This will all be possible with the support to my patreon/subscribestar. With your help, I'll be able to make art that can sustain me. I'm still going to be working on games, but its going to be much slower and on the side. Game development is a really long, difficult endeavor, and frankly, I'm not very good at it. I've failed over and over to make anything of value for all of you, and I'm not okay with that. You are all so sweet and kind and understanding, but I have to provide at SOME point, otherwise I'm just tugging all of you along for a wild ride that never ends. I don't want to do that. You all deserve better from me, and I plan to deliver however I can. I want to do good things for all of you.
That's all I can think of right now. I'm pretty drained and exhausted, absolutely wiped out. I need to rest a bit, but soon, I'll be pecking away at the remaining commissions, and then starting to get down to business right away. I want to do great things, it's about time I get off my ass and... actually do it. I hope you'll join me for the ride.
Love you all so much, please give me any feedback or ask any questions.
I had a lot of fun, and being there again felt really wonderful, but there were some... complications. It wasn't my worst Anthrocon, but it was easily the second worst I've had so far. It's rather complicated and hard to explain, but I'll try:
A lot of what went wrong this year was more the fault of personal tastes and preferences then outright bad events or actions. Nobody really did anything wrong, I'm not trying to call anyone out or anything. We just all enjoy different things and It didn't quite work out as expected.
For example, I had a wonderful time hanging out with Floaty, but we realized that conventions aren't really his thing. He had plenty of moments where he enjoyed himself, but Anthrocon didn't really click with him. He's a big introvert, and he doesn't really know many furry folks. So he would've preferred to go somewhere with just us two. When we got to do that after the con around my place, we had a blast. I feel really bad that I dragged him to something he didn't really enjoy...
I love my sister very much, but she is the kind of person who loves to party. She enjoys taking a substance or two and then going to the rave. She's very outgoing and extroverted. These things aren't bad, but they don't mix well with two, shy introverts. She and her girlfriend went off on their own for most of the con, but whenever we would meet up in the hotel room, things could be... a bit uncomfortable.
Again, it's not really anyone's fault, nobody's done anything wrong, we just... weren't really compatible together as a group like this. We needed our own spaces and unfortunately we didn't really have that.
I had fun, but it was at the cost of making sure everyone else had fun first. I felt responsible for the group, like I had to take care of everyone, and as such, I didn't really get to do a lot of stuff I wanted to do. For example, we left super early on the last day of con, because everyone was pretty much done or sick, and wanted to head home. I wanted to stay and visit with my friends, but I also did not want to make everyone stay if they were miserable.
Its just unfortunate. A lot of the convention was really wonderful. I had a blast hanging out with Jinsei and his friends, as well as Humbug, Damien, Lapseph, and the gang. Hugging Josephine was lovely, meeting Teshy, killer654 and all sorts of folks made me super happy, and going to the official Fuga 2 panel was fantastic. But overall I just kinda... felt a bit sad about the con.
I want to go back next year, but with my lack of a job, and financial instability, I don't know if I CAN go back next year. That thought makes me deeply depressed. I don't want to miss this again. I don't want to go another year without being in a space where I can be openly... me.
So, a lot of big changes are happening in order to help move my life in a more positive direction. Some of this has been planned for a long time, and some of this has become necessary due to current events:
• Over the course of this month, I will be deleting and re-uploading my entire gallery. This will be happening on Furaffinity, and Eka's Portal.
I have had this idea for a long time now. My galleries just... do NOT feel like my own. I don't feel like I'm uploading the art I want to see, or making the content I want to make. I don't feel like I'm in control of what I post, and I feel like that is hurting me creatively and mentally. I want to take it all down, then go bit by bit, re-uploading carefully, to manage exactly what I want folks to see and feel when they look at my stuff. I want my characters to feel real, my worlds to feel special. I want people to know what Sarah Vixen is like, instead of that info being stuck in my head. I want to just... do better. I want to deserve and earn the praise you all give me, with art that I feel proud of. It's kinda hard to explain but I just... want to feel like my characters are important, and that people come to me for... well... ME.
Also, sense Furaffinity's mods are getting worse every day, please let me know if you have ANY suggestions or recommendations on which websites I should look into. I'm very curious where my audience is migrating to.
• My Patreon is being majorly revamped again, or it's going to be replaced entirely with a Subscribestar
I'm going to need your feedback on this one the most. I've not been a very good content creator. I've been bungling it on Patreon pretty badly. Yet despite that, people still support me. I'm eternally grateful for that. However, I'd like to do a WAY better job, and EARN your support, by uploading a more regular stream of content there. I'm still working out the details, but I've decided I should probably leave Patreon. It is my understanding that you can get suspended quite easily for drawing vore content, specially non-con vore. As someone who enjoys non-willing prey, that's not great for me. If you know more about this situation, and have suggestions or advice, please let me know. My patreon/subscribestar are for the community, so your feedback is very important to me. Please let me know what you want to see!
• Artpacks, comics, and more, are going to be available for sale.
This is a big one. I've wanted to make things that folks can purchase for a very long time now. It would help me tremendously with my "being stupidly poor" problem. However, I've just... not done it. I've not gotten off my ass and started making the damn things.
That changes now. I will be starting relatively simple, but I hope to have a lil gumroad store up soon with all sorts of things you can purchase digitally. Someday, I also want to vendor at conventions, selling things like Sarah Vixen Plushies/Dakis, and prints n such. But of course, I can't do any of this unless I... actually start making the art. This will all be possible with the support to my patreon/subscribestar. With your help, I'll be able to make art that can sustain me. I'm still going to be working on games, but its going to be much slower and on the side. Game development is a really long, difficult endeavor, and frankly, I'm not very good at it. I've failed over and over to make anything of value for all of you, and I'm not okay with that. You are all so sweet and kind and understanding, but I have to provide at SOME point, otherwise I'm just tugging all of you along for a wild ride that never ends. I don't want to do that. You all deserve better from me, and I plan to deliver however I can. I want to do good things for all of you.
That's all I can think of right now. I'm pretty drained and exhausted, absolutely wiped out. I need to rest a bit, but soon, I'll be pecking away at the remaining commissions, and then starting to get down to business right away. I want to do great things, it's about time I get off my ass and... actually do it. I hope you'll join me for the ride.
Love you all so much, please give me any feedback or ask any questions.
COMMISSIONS CLOSED! See You At Anthrocon!
Posted 2 years agoTimed Sketchpage Commissions are now CLOSED! Thank you all SO much for your support! I really appreciate how many of you reached out to get art. It means a lot to me that so many of you like what I do. I've got a lot to draw when I get back. ^_^
I'm so excited and nervous: This will be the first time I've been back to Anthrocon in many years. I'm going with my sister, her girlfriend, and my sweet silly boy
floatymyboaty. I can't wait to be in that environment again, to feel the excitement and energy of the fandom, to be reinvigorated with artistic drive. I'm really hoping to come home motivated to make lost of stuff!
We'll be there the whole con, so if you're going, let me know! I'd love to say hi. I'll be wandering around the convention with a lightsaber I made. Why? I'm a dummy who was hyperfixating, and in a creative mood. It's a really cool prop I'm very proud of and wanting to show off. Here's what it looks like: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....624_034731.jpg (No, that's not edited, nor is it electronic. It's an entirely practical effect that happens when you take a flash photo or video! It's super cool!)
Thank you all so much for your kindness and support. I really want to feel good coming home from this experience, so I can channel that new, refilled energy, into lots of furry stuff for y'all to enjoy.
Love you all lots and I'll see you after con!
I'm so excited and nervous: This will be the first time I've been back to Anthrocon in many years. I'm going with my sister, her girlfriend, and my sweet silly boy
floatymyboaty. I can't wait to be in that environment again, to feel the excitement and energy of the fandom, to be reinvigorated with artistic drive. I'm really hoping to come home motivated to make lost of stuff!We'll be there the whole con, so if you're going, let me know! I'd love to say hi. I'll be wandering around the convention with a lightsaber I made. Why? I'm a dummy who was hyperfixating, and in a creative mood. It's a really cool prop I'm very proud of and wanting to show off. Here's what it looks like: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....624_034731.jpg (No, that's not edited, nor is it electronic. It's an entirely practical effect that happens when you take a flash photo or video! It's super cool!)
Thank you all so much for your kindness and support. I really want to feel good coming home from this experience, so I can channel that new, refilled energy, into lots of furry stuff for y'all to enjoy.
Love you all lots and I'll see you after con!
FINAL CALL FOR SKETCHPAGE COMS! (And Updates)
Posted 2 years agoAll of you have been incredibly generous and kind. So many folks have reached out to me, wanting to get art. It really means a lot to me that so many of you want my drawings.
I wanted to get all of the slots done before Anthrocon. I've been pushing myself really really hard, drawing as much as I can to get everything done before the deadline. But in doing so, I've stressed myself beyond belief, and burned myself out quite fast. At my current pace, I'm not going to be able to finish everything in time.
I don't want to compromise the quality of the art you are paying for. I don't want to rush myself and draw things I'm not happy with, just because I'm trying to meet a deadline. I don't think it's right to force myself to draw when I feel like this, because ultimately, you guys are the ones paying for it. I want everything I make to be high quality, so I'm going to be slowing down, and taking my time.
This means that many of the the timed sketchpage commissions won't be finished until after Anthrocon.
I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting, but I don't think it's right to push or rush, and make art I'm not happy with.
I'm also making this journal because despite how many hours everyone has purchased, I'm still in need of a little more money...
Car repairs and rent took about $780 of the funds I raised. I also have to get gas, clothes, and food. Basically... I'm not comfortable with the amount of money I have. I feel like it's cutting things too close. So I'm making this final call for anyone who wants a Timed Sketchpage Commission.
If you get one now, it will NOT be finished before the convention. But I will work on it as soon as I return. I hate making you all wait, but I really don't know what else to do. Please make sure you contact me ASAP, as I will be closing on the 26th.
If you are interested in getting some art, please check out this post for more information: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52379193/
If you would like to toss a few donations my way to help me get to con, you can also do that too at: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
I really appreciate every one of you, and all of the support you've given me. I'm so SO sorry for the delay, but if I push myself, it'll just go badly. I don't want to give you guys crappy art. I want to do the best I can. I hope all of this is okay, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you all so much <3
I wanted to get all of the slots done before Anthrocon. I've been pushing myself really really hard, drawing as much as I can to get everything done before the deadline. But in doing so, I've stressed myself beyond belief, and burned myself out quite fast. At my current pace, I'm not going to be able to finish everything in time.
I don't want to compromise the quality of the art you are paying for. I don't want to rush myself and draw things I'm not happy with, just because I'm trying to meet a deadline. I don't think it's right to force myself to draw when I feel like this, because ultimately, you guys are the ones paying for it. I want everything I make to be high quality, so I'm going to be slowing down, and taking my time.
This means that many of the the timed sketchpage commissions won't be finished until after Anthrocon.
I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting, but I don't think it's right to push or rush, and make art I'm not happy with.
I'm also making this journal because despite how many hours everyone has purchased, I'm still in need of a little more money...
Car repairs and rent took about $780 of the funds I raised. I also have to get gas, clothes, and food. Basically... I'm not comfortable with the amount of money I have. I feel like it's cutting things too close. So I'm making this final call for anyone who wants a Timed Sketchpage Commission.
If you get one now, it will NOT be finished before the convention. But I will work on it as soon as I return. I hate making you all wait, but I really don't know what else to do. Please make sure you contact me ASAP, as I will be closing on the 26th.
If you are interested in getting some art, please check out this post for more information: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52379193/
If you would like to toss a few donations my way to help me get to con, you can also do that too at: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
I really appreciate every one of you, and all of the support you've given me. I'm so SO sorry for the delay, but if I push myself, it'll just go badly. I don't want to give you guys crappy art. I want to do the best I can. I hope all of this is okay, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you all so much <3
Sketchpage Rules Update: COMS ARE STILL OPEN!
Posted 2 years agoCOMMISSIONS ARE STILL OPEN! IF YOU WANT A SKETCHPAGE PLEASE HIT ME UP! YIPPEE!
Commission details can be found HERE: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52379193/
I tried something different with how I handled the sketchpage commissions. I was doing them basically one at a time, sending out invoices only when I finished a slot, and was ready to work on the next. However this approach is making things confusing for me on the back end. Keeping track of what I have to do next, and timing everything out, was just... not working how I thought it would.
So from now on, I'll be invoicing right away, and adding you to a physical list that is easier to keep track of. This way I can knock out the smaller hour amounts faster as well, and accomplish more each day. I also need to act NOW and fix my car's AC right away, its... real bad to drive that thing in 90 degree heat.
[u]ALSO: THERE ARE SOME RULE CHANGES TO THE SKETCHPAGE COMMISSIONS:[/u]
• You cannot purchase more than 6 hours at a time. If you want more than 6 hours, let me know, and I can reach out to you once everyone else has had their time slots completed.
• I would prefer to stick to one character, but I will draw multiple characters if you want. However, please keep in mind that I can only draw additional characters if there is enough time purchased. (And just to put it out there: I will draw copyrighted characters, and may be more inclined/excited to draw them if I like them a lot, like Stitch, the Looney Toons, Digimon, Etc.)
I'm adding these rule changes to be more fair to folks, and to make sure I don't get too bogged down with work. Y'all have been SO kind wanting to commission me for 8 to 10 hours, but I have to limit myself so others get a fair shot, and I don't get too intimidated by the chunk of time.
Thank you all so much for the support so far, I really appreciate it and I hope to get all I need in time for the convention. It's gonna be a close one but... I'm gonna work hard to do it.
Also: I mayyyy or may not be completely redoing my gallery here, meaning I may be deleting/reuploading/moving art. Its something I've wanted to do for a while, I am not happy with my gallery. So stay tuned, cause after AC a bunch of stuff might start poofing away. I'll warn you all again before it happens but... I just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking about it.
Commission details can be found HERE: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52379193/
I tried something different with how I handled the sketchpage commissions. I was doing them basically one at a time, sending out invoices only when I finished a slot, and was ready to work on the next. However this approach is making things confusing for me on the back end. Keeping track of what I have to do next, and timing everything out, was just... not working how I thought it would.
So from now on, I'll be invoicing right away, and adding you to a physical list that is easier to keep track of. This way I can knock out the smaller hour amounts faster as well, and accomplish more each day. I also need to act NOW and fix my car's AC right away, its... real bad to drive that thing in 90 degree heat.
[u]ALSO: THERE ARE SOME RULE CHANGES TO THE SKETCHPAGE COMMISSIONS:[/u]
• You cannot purchase more than 6 hours at a time. If you want more than 6 hours, let me know, and I can reach out to you once everyone else has had their time slots completed.
• I would prefer to stick to one character, but I will draw multiple characters if you want. However, please keep in mind that I can only draw additional characters if there is enough time purchased. (And just to put it out there: I will draw copyrighted characters, and may be more inclined/excited to draw them if I like them a lot, like Stitch, the Looney Toons, Digimon, Etc.)
I'm adding these rule changes to be more fair to folks, and to make sure I don't get too bogged down with work. Y'all have been SO kind wanting to commission me for 8 to 10 hours, but I have to limit myself so others get a fair shot, and I don't get too intimidated by the chunk of time.
Thank you all so much for the support so far, I really appreciate it and I hope to get all I need in time for the convention. It's gonna be a close one but... I'm gonna work hard to do it.
Also: I mayyyy or may not be completely redoing my gallery here, meaning I may be deleting/reuploading/moving art. Its something I've wanted to do for a while, I am not happy with my gallery. So stay tuned, cause after AC a bunch of stuff might start poofing away. I'll warn you all again before it happens but... I just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking about it.
Timed Sketchpage Commissions Fundraiser OPEN!
Posted 2 years agoI've got a LOT of expenses coming this month:
• Rent
• Fixing my car's broken air conditioning
• And the big one: Anthrocon 2023!
My sister really wanted me to come with her this year, as mentally, we both need a nice vacation. She graciously covered the hotel and registration costs, but everything else, I'll have to take care of. I'm honestly kind of glad she's basically forced me to go to the convention. I think it'll help me push through my burnout, and inspire me to be more active.
However, I am still currently jobless, and I've had no luck looking for work. So, I've decided to do a little fundraiser.
I'm doing things a bit differently to ensure that I don't burn out, so please read the new rules carefully.
COST: $25 an Hour
What are Timed Sketchpage Commissions?
These commissions work differently than my normal commissions. You purchase an amount of time, and I use that time to fill a sketchpage with drawings. The more time you purchase, the more I can draw for you!
The Process:
• First, send me a note/DM/PM telling me how much time you'd like to purchase, and a reference for the character you would like drawn. Please try to keep it to one character. If you would like multiple characters, let me know and I'll see what I can do.
• I will have artistic freedom over the things I draw on your sketch page, but you can still suggest ideas to me if there is anything specific you'd like to see. In your notes/DMs/PMs, we will discuss details to make sure you get something you'll enjoy. PLEASE make sure you let me know if there is anything you do NOT want to see your character doing. I do not want to draw something you dislike or are uncomfortable with.
• Once we've worked out the details, payments will be made, and I will begin work on your sketch page.
• I will use up all of the time you purchased to draw for you.
• When the time is up, I'll show you what I've drawn! I hope you'll be very happy with the results! ^_^
Rules:
I WILL NOT DRAW: Cubs/underage characters, Gore, Soul vore, Vomit, Piss, Hyper detailed characters/items, diapers, non-vore related scat
I WILL DRAW: Copyrighted characters (MLP, Catoons, Games, and so on), Vore, NSFW stuff, Tummies, Fat Furs, Hyper, Paws, I like a lot of stuff so honestly so just ask and I'll let you know
• I will have artistic freedom on these drawings, meaning I will be deciding ultimately what to draw.
• This means there may be ideas you present that I do NOT want to draw. I will inform you and hopefully, we can work something out. In order to prevent burnout, I will only be drawing things I have interest in, or want to draw, so please keep this in mind when submitting your ideas.
• I will not be tweaking these drawings or editing them like I would a normal commission. What you get is what you get.
• I will be very carefully monitoring my time as I work on your sketches. Any time spent looking up references, thinking of ideas, or doing anything that isn't working on the art, won't count off your time. Don't worry, you'll get your full time as paid for. ^_^
Thank you so very much for your support! If you have any questions PLEASE feel free to ask!
• Rent
• Fixing my car's broken air conditioning
• And the big one: Anthrocon 2023!
My sister really wanted me to come with her this year, as mentally, we both need a nice vacation. She graciously covered the hotel and registration costs, but everything else, I'll have to take care of. I'm honestly kind of glad she's basically forced me to go to the convention. I think it'll help me push through my burnout, and inspire me to be more active.
However, I am still currently jobless, and I've had no luck looking for work. So, I've decided to do a little fundraiser.
I'm doing things a bit differently to ensure that I don't burn out, so please read the new rules carefully.
COST: $25 an Hour
What are Timed Sketchpage Commissions?
These commissions work differently than my normal commissions. You purchase an amount of time, and I use that time to fill a sketchpage with drawings. The more time you purchase, the more I can draw for you!
The Process:
• First, send me a note/DM/PM telling me how much time you'd like to purchase, and a reference for the character you would like drawn. Please try to keep it to one character. If you would like multiple characters, let me know and I'll see what I can do.
• I will have artistic freedom over the things I draw on your sketch page, but you can still suggest ideas to me if there is anything specific you'd like to see. In your notes/DMs/PMs, we will discuss details to make sure you get something you'll enjoy. PLEASE make sure you let me know if there is anything you do NOT want to see your character doing. I do not want to draw something you dislike or are uncomfortable with.
• Once we've worked out the details, payments will be made, and I will begin work on your sketch page.
• I will use up all of the time you purchased to draw for you.
• When the time is up, I'll show you what I've drawn! I hope you'll be very happy with the results! ^_^
Rules:
I WILL NOT DRAW: Cubs/underage characters, Gore, Soul vore, Vomit, Piss, Hyper detailed characters/items, diapers, non-vore related scat
I WILL DRAW: Copyrighted characters (MLP, Catoons, Games, and so on), Vore, NSFW stuff, Tummies, Fat Furs, Hyper, Paws, I like a lot of stuff so honestly so just ask and I'll let you know
• I will have artistic freedom on these drawings, meaning I will be deciding ultimately what to draw.
• This means there may be ideas you present that I do NOT want to draw. I will inform you and hopefully, we can work something out. In order to prevent burnout, I will only be drawing things I have interest in, or want to draw, so please keep this in mind when submitting your ideas.
• I will not be tweaking these drawings or editing them like I would a normal commission. What you get is what you get.
• I will be very carefully monitoring my time as I work on your sketches. Any time spent looking up references, thinking of ideas, or doing anything that isn't working on the art, won't count off your time. Don't worry, you'll get your full time as paid for. ^_^
Thank you so very much for your support! If you have any questions PLEASE feel free to ask!
FA Rules and Where to Find Me (Gallery Restructuring)
Posted 2 years agoOther places you can find my work:
Eka's Portal: https://aryion.com/g4/user/VorishFoxie
My Discord Channel: https://discord.gg/r9YQsEBf
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PieMan24601
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
Picarto: https://picarto.tv/PieMan24601
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/GamerFox24601
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/PieMan24601
The entire FA situation has had me stressed out beyond belief. I'm already struggling quite severely with depression and anxiety, but now, with FA's new ruling, my mental health stresses have skyrocketed. The site I've been using to make my livelyhood has issued a maliciously vague rule that puts myself, and those I care about, at great risk of life destroying allegations.
I do not endorse, nor support cub porn. I'm very uncomfortable with minors being depicted in any NSFW content. FA deciding to disallow cub art is a decision I agree with. HOWEVER: I absolutley do NOT agree with the irrisponsible vagueness for which this rule is applied. Currently, the rule is (I believe intentionally) written in a very interpretive way. One that allows mods to make decisions at their own broad, personal discretions.
This is, to put it bluntly, fucking irresponsible and dangerous.
Pokemon, Digimon, shortstacks, small character designs, folks with cutesy/chibi artsyles, and anyone else who happens to draw the ire of a particularly vengeful mod, are at risk of being labeled pedophiles. This is an incredibly serious allegation. The rules are so ill defined, that they throw the baby out with the bathwater. The intent to ban cub porn has instead enabled bad actors to ruin the lives of those with kinks/interests they don't like. That is ultimately what this ruling is actually about, to create a false moral highground for which to shun, ostracize, and punish those the moderators do not personally like For example, mods are already using this rule to make grand statements against the pokemon community, such as "mew is an embryo" and "evee is too childlike." Mods are literally saying that they can just "tell" when pokeporn is secretly cub porn, due to arbetrary signifiers like bodily proportions. For example, see the infamous size chart that has been going around on twitter.
The furry fandom is a diverse community of kinks and interests. We all have things we like, and dislike. Some, we dislike for personal moral reasons and tastes.
CW: Discussion of rape, non consentual acts, incest, and gore.
I personally do not like a lot of very popular kinks. From smaller things that are easier for me to personally ignore, like diapers (that just arent for me) to larger kinks like incest or rape, that make me uncomfortable and immediately turn me off. When curating what I look for when I browsing art, I tend to avoid these tags. If I was creating a space just for me, I would not allow certain tags or content because of my personal tastes.
But the thing is, FA is for everyone, and everyone has different kinks they enjoy. Often, various kinks cross wires in different communities. Some people enjoy incestual themes with vore, some people enjoy predators that graphically rape or harm their prey before eating them. Those things are not for me, but they are for some folks. So when i browse other people's galleries or favorites, with vastly different tastes and interests, it's up to me to decide what I do, or do not engage with. If furaffinity had a tag blocking system like Derpibooru or something, this personal curation process would be a whole lot easier.
Now of course, in order for FA to be for everyone, it has to refuse some content at the gates. Its the whole paradox of tolerence thing: "In order to maintain a tolerant society, the society must be intolerant of intolerance.” You can't allow everything, as you'd start to allow harmful ideologies/content like facism, irl gore/violence, and of course, child pornography. But the rules on these things cannot be too vague, nor hyper specific, for them to be effective. The furry community has been successful at removing nazis by having a simple, effective rule: "No nazis, no positive depictions of facisim." (Which FA mods have failed to properly enforce in the past now that i think about it. Says a lot doesn't it?)
END OF TOUCHY SUBJECTS
The point is: If FA wants to ban cub porn, it is completely valid to do so. However, it needs to make the rule simple, and broad, with no confusion: "No underage characters in NSFW content." There can obviously be some clarification, such as if aging characters up is okay, but once the rules become specific and targeting, they become abusable by bad faith individuals, who want to shut down a type of content they don't personally enjoy.
With the example rules above, If a mod doesn't like someone's adult, on-model Pikachu OC having sex, too bad. The rules only prohibit underage characters. If the character IS an adult, as stated in good faith by its creator, that content should be allowed on FA. That artist should feel safe to express themselves.
Mods should not be going on some moral crusade to claim some sort of superiority over their peers. They should never, EVER claim to know more about my own damn characters than I do. If my lewd, rude, crude Impmon OC, could be flagged as underage simply because of his proportions, or because some asshole doesn't like seeing rookie digimon designs, or because a mod INSISTS they know better than me on my own fucking creation, that means the rule is no longer a rule. It's a weapon. A weapon not to fix injustice, but to target things a mod simply doesn't like.
I'm just so mad about all of this. So many people I love and care about are going to be seriously hurt because of false, bad faith arguments.
I'm so tired.
Oh and FA? If youre so worried about the children, act on your pearl clutching and make this site 18+ only already.
Also: I'm probably going to be doing a complete restructure of my galleries soon. Art may be moved, or permanently deleted. I want to make my online presense feel more like... well... me, and how I want it to feel. So save whatever stuff you want, it may or may not be there when I'm done. And thank you all so much for reading and supporting me. I'd literally be dead without you all.
Eka's Portal: https://aryion.com/g4/user/VorishFoxie
My Discord Channel: https://discord.gg/r9YQsEBf
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PieMan24601
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/pieman24601
Picarto: https://picarto.tv/PieMan24601
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/GamerFox24601
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/PieMan24601
The entire FA situation has had me stressed out beyond belief. I'm already struggling quite severely with depression and anxiety, but now, with FA's new ruling, my mental health stresses have skyrocketed. The site I've been using to make my livelyhood has issued a maliciously vague rule that puts myself, and those I care about, at great risk of life destroying allegations.
I do not endorse, nor support cub porn. I'm very uncomfortable with minors being depicted in any NSFW content. FA deciding to disallow cub art is a decision I agree with. HOWEVER: I absolutley do NOT agree with the irrisponsible vagueness for which this rule is applied. Currently, the rule is (I believe intentionally) written in a very interpretive way. One that allows mods to make decisions at their own broad, personal discretions.
This is, to put it bluntly, fucking irresponsible and dangerous.
Pokemon, Digimon, shortstacks, small character designs, folks with cutesy/chibi artsyles, and anyone else who happens to draw the ire of a particularly vengeful mod, are at risk of being labeled pedophiles. This is an incredibly serious allegation. The rules are so ill defined, that they throw the baby out with the bathwater. The intent to ban cub porn has instead enabled bad actors to ruin the lives of those with kinks/interests they don't like. That is ultimately what this ruling is actually about, to create a false moral highground for which to shun, ostracize, and punish those the moderators do not personally like For example, mods are already using this rule to make grand statements against the pokemon community, such as "mew is an embryo" and "evee is too childlike." Mods are literally saying that they can just "tell" when pokeporn is secretly cub porn, due to arbetrary signifiers like bodily proportions. For example, see the infamous size chart that has been going around on twitter.
The furry fandom is a diverse community of kinks and interests. We all have things we like, and dislike. Some, we dislike for personal moral reasons and tastes.
CW: Discussion of rape, non consentual acts, incest, and gore.
I personally do not like a lot of very popular kinks. From smaller things that are easier for me to personally ignore, like diapers (that just arent for me) to larger kinks like incest or rape, that make me uncomfortable and immediately turn me off. When curating what I look for when I browsing art, I tend to avoid these tags. If I was creating a space just for me, I would not allow certain tags or content because of my personal tastes.
But the thing is, FA is for everyone, and everyone has different kinks they enjoy. Often, various kinks cross wires in different communities. Some people enjoy incestual themes with vore, some people enjoy predators that graphically rape or harm their prey before eating them. Those things are not for me, but they are for some folks. So when i browse other people's galleries or favorites, with vastly different tastes and interests, it's up to me to decide what I do, or do not engage with. If furaffinity had a tag blocking system like Derpibooru or something, this personal curation process would be a whole lot easier.
Now of course, in order for FA to be for everyone, it has to refuse some content at the gates. Its the whole paradox of tolerence thing: "In order to maintain a tolerant society, the society must be intolerant of intolerance.” You can't allow everything, as you'd start to allow harmful ideologies/content like facism, irl gore/violence, and of course, child pornography. But the rules on these things cannot be too vague, nor hyper specific, for them to be effective. The furry community has been successful at removing nazis by having a simple, effective rule: "No nazis, no positive depictions of facisim." (Which FA mods have failed to properly enforce in the past now that i think about it. Says a lot doesn't it?)
END OF TOUCHY SUBJECTS
The point is: If FA wants to ban cub porn, it is completely valid to do so. However, it needs to make the rule simple, and broad, with no confusion: "No underage characters in NSFW content." There can obviously be some clarification, such as if aging characters up is okay, but once the rules become specific and targeting, they become abusable by bad faith individuals, who want to shut down a type of content they don't personally enjoy.
With the example rules above, If a mod doesn't like someone's adult, on-model Pikachu OC having sex, too bad. The rules only prohibit underage characters. If the character IS an adult, as stated in good faith by its creator, that content should be allowed on FA. That artist should feel safe to express themselves.
Mods should not be going on some moral crusade to claim some sort of superiority over their peers. They should never, EVER claim to know more about my own damn characters than I do. If my lewd, rude, crude Impmon OC, could be flagged as underage simply because of his proportions, or because some asshole doesn't like seeing rookie digimon designs, or because a mod INSISTS they know better than me on my own fucking creation, that means the rule is no longer a rule. It's a weapon. A weapon not to fix injustice, but to target things a mod simply doesn't like.
I'm just so mad about all of this. So many people I love and care about are going to be seriously hurt because of false, bad faith arguments.
I'm so tired.
Oh and FA? If youre so worried about the children, act on your pearl clutching and make this site 18+ only already.
Also: I'm probably going to be doing a complete restructure of my galleries soon. Art may be moved, or permanently deleted. I want to make my online presense feel more like... well... me, and how I want it to feel. So save whatever stuff you want, it may or may not be there when I'm done. And thank you all so much for reading and supporting me. I'd literally be dead without you all.
Why do i make videos like this
Posted 2 years agoI found her at the thrift store and I am sending her to a good home with MeltingFoxy
But first I made a video crime please enjoy
But first I made a video crime please enjoy
Please Help My Friend See His Mom!
Posted 2 years agoEDIT: Made a severe error, he actually needs around $1000 to make the trip. I've edited the journal to reflect this.
My dear friend
muzykamagician and I share the same horrific luck stat. Stuff is just CONSTANTLY going wrong for us.
Oreon's mother, who he's not been able to see for a year and a half, is about to undergo a very risky shoulder replacement surgery. This surgery is very dangerous because she's currently at stage 4 heart failure with an ICD (implanted cardiac device) and being under anesthesia for that long could be... well... fatal.
On top of this, the stress of everything has caused him to a heart attack. His own health is in question now too.
Oreon wants to see his mom really badly, to be there in case anything goes wrong. He needs at least $700 more to afford the trip.
I-I know everyone just helped me out recently, and thus money may be very tight, but if you guys can at least signal boost my friend's plight, it would mean a lot to me. Oreon and I hate bothering you all so much, I'm sorry we ask for help so often, but we don't really know what else to do...
If you can donate to his cause, anything at all, would help tremendously. You can donate here: https://paypal.me/Sorasuotter
Once again, thank you all so much for your constant generosity. I know all I've done lately seems to be begging for help and assistance... I'm sorry things are so dire around here. I am doing a lot better now thanks to all of your kindness, and I hope to help my friend as well in the same way. I hope this hasn't been annoying or anything. I promise I'm pushing myself hard to get through this burnout and fix things. I'm doing my best for all of you <3
A-anywho, thank you all again so very much. It means the world to me <3
My dear friend
muzykamagician and I share the same horrific luck stat. Stuff is just CONSTANTLY going wrong for us. Oreon's mother, who he's not been able to see for a year and a half, is about to undergo a very risky shoulder replacement surgery. This surgery is very dangerous because she's currently at stage 4 heart failure with an ICD (implanted cardiac device) and being under anesthesia for that long could be... well... fatal.
On top of this, the stress of everything has caused him to a heart attack. His own health is in question now too.
Oreon wants to see his mom really badly, to be there in case anything goes wrong. He needs at least $700 more to afford the trip.
I-I know everyone just helped me out recently, and thus money may be very tight, but if you guys can at least signal boost my friend's plight, it would mean a lot to me. Oreon and I hate bothering you all so much, I'm sorry we ask for help so often, but we don't really know what else to do...
If you can donate to his cause, anything at all, would help tremendously. You can donate here: https://paypal.me/Sorasuotter
Once again, thank you all so much for your constant generosity. I know all I've done lately seems to be begging for help and assistance... I'm sorry things are so dire around here. I am doing a lot better now thanks to all of your kindness, and I hope to help my friend as well in the same way. I hope this hasn't been annoying or anything. I promise I'm pushing myself hard to get through this burnout and fix things. I'm doing my best for all of you <3
A-anywho, thank you all again so very much. It means the world to me <3
Poor, Hungry, Miserable. (Important: Please Read)
Posted 2 years agoI am ashamed I have to make this journal, but I feel it's important to keep you all updated.
I'm not okay.
3 months ago, I had to quit my job. My tendonitis and carpel tunnel was preventing me from doing the fine motor movements required to work. The temp agency I work for was supposed to find me a replacement job that I could do without injuring myself, but they have not. In fact, they've been ignoring my daily calls, and dragging their feet, refusing to take any meaningful action.
As a result, I've been jobless for 3 months. Other than patreon donations, I have no income at all.
On top of this, I am more burned out on art than I've ever been in my life. I'm trying so hard to finish the current to do list, but I feel absolutely zero drive or passion for any of it. I'll attempt to work on what I owe, do about 4 or 5 lines, then feel so physically exhausted I pass out for most of the day. Even worse, I feel absolutely no joy from vore or my other interests. I feel almost revolted by it sometimes, where I know i need to avoid it, to give myself a break, but I can't. When I have no job, and my only source of money is art, I feel I have to draw it even when it makes me feel sick, or else I'll be doomed. As you can imagine, this takes all the joy out of it, and stresses me so that the art slows down and takes ages to get done...
Because of all of this, I am more poor now than I've ever been in my life. I can't even afford food. My roomates and I are all broke beyond belief. 2 of the 3 of us lost our jobs.
I am so unbelievably miserable. I want to cry constantly, and most days i can't get out of bed. I feel hungry, hopeless, empty. I'm trying so hard, I swear to god I am, but my life keeps getting worse. My family is suffering too. My mom's breast cancer came back, and she's going to have to undergo major surgeries to have her breasts removed. I feel like I'm not allowed to breathe a moment of happyness before something happens to crash it down.
I'm writing this journal for 2 major reasons:
1: I'm desperate for money. Until I can find a job that won't give me panic attacks, I have no income. No money for food, bills, or rent. I feel sick asking you all for help, but I don''t know what else to do. If you can, please consider donating. https://ko-fi.com/pieman
2: I want to be open and honest, as well as more present. Transparency is very important to me. I don't want to hide anything or lie to you guys. It's because of all of you that I even made it this far. But I've been very reclusive for the past 3 years. I feel my online presence and momemtum has completely died. I don't post regularly, and I think my burnout is very obvious in my work. God I've not even drawn Sarah, or explored my OCs/world in years. I don't like that. I want to be better, do better, get past this awful time in my stupid life so I can make all of you proud. So I can earn the success youve given me. I just... wanna feel joy in what I do, and feel like it matters.
I apologize for the long journal but this explanation is very important. I had to let you all know what is going on. I just... to be honest, I feel rather hopless. I feel like I could die tomorrow and nobody would care I hate living this reality, ans I just want to be happy and okay. I wish i knew whay i've done so horribly wrong to deserve the shit I go through...
I love you all so much.
- Chris
[EDIT: 3/14/2023]
I am in diselief at the incredible, overwhelming flood of support everyone has given me. I literally cannot believe the amount of people that have donated, or spread the word. It has been absolutely insane how kind everyone is, and for that, I am eternally greatful. Thank you alll for your support. Because of you, I was able to get enough groceries to last my roomates and I a long while. Not only that, but the support has been so great, that I may even be able to cover rent if I cannot find work in time. The amount people have donated to my cause has been unbelievable, and I am at a loss for words. I don't know how to respond, other than say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Someday, when my life is stable, I want to do all I can to earn the support, praise, and generosity all of you have given me. I want to make you all proud and happy. I want to be active in the community again, and reach the heights I know I am capable of. Thank you all for helping me during this horrible time in my life, It means so very much to me!
I'm not okay.
3 months ago, I had to quit my job. My tendonitis and carpel tunnel was preventing me from doing the fine motor movements required to work. The temp agency I work for was supposed to find me a replacement job that I could do without injuring myself, but they have not. In fact, they've been ignoring my daily calls, and dragging their feet, refusing to take any meaningful action.
As a result, I've been jobless for 3 months. Other than patreon donations, I have no income at all.
On top of this, I am more burned out on art than I've ever been in my life. I'm trying so hard to finish the current to do list, but I feel absolutely zero drive or passion for any of it. I'll attempt to work on what I owe, do about 4 or 5 lines, then feel so physically exhausted I pass out for most of the day. Even worse, I feel absolutely no joy from vore or my other interests. I feel almost revolted by it sometimes, where I know i need to avoid it, to give myself a break, but I can't. When I have no job, and my only source of money is art, I feel I have to draw it even when it makes me feel sick, or else I'll be doomed. As you can imagine, this takes all the joy out of it, and stresses me so that the art slows down and takes ages to get done...
Because of all of this, I am more poor now than I've ever been in my life. I can't even afford food. My roomates and I are all broke beyond belief. 2 of the 3 of us lost our jobs.
I am so unbelievably miserable. I want to cry constantly, and most days i can't get out of bed. I feel hungry, hopeless, empty. I'm trying so hard, I swear to god I am, but my life keeps getting worse. My family is suffering too. My mom's breast cancer came back, and she's going to have to undergo major surgeries to have her breasts removed. I feel like I'm not allowed to breathe a moment of happyness before something happens to crash it down.
I'm writing this journal for 2 major reasons:
1: I'm desperate for money. Until I can find a job that won't give me panic attacks, I have no income. No money for food, bills, or rent. I feel sick asking you all for help, but I don''t know what else to do. If you can, please consider donating. https://ko-fi.com/pieman
2: I want to be open and honest, as well as more present. Transparency is very important to me. I don't want to hide anything or lie to you guys. It's because of all of you that I even made it this far. But I've been very reclusive for the past 3 years. I feel my online presence and momemtum has completely died. I don't post regularly, and I think my burnout is very obvious in my work. God I've not even drawn Sarah, or explored my OCs/world in years. I don't like that. I want to be better, do better, get past this awful time in my stupid life so I can make all of you proud. So I can earn the success youve given me. I just... wanna feel joy in what I do, and feel like it matters.
I apologize for the long journal but this explanation is very important. I had to let you all know what is going on. I just... to be honest, I feel rather hopless. I feel like I could die tomorrow and nobody would care I hate living this reality, ans I just want to be happy and okay. I wish i knew whay i've done so horribly wrong to deserve the shit I go through...
I love you all so much.
- Chris
[EDIT: 3/14/2023]
I am in diselief at the incredible, overwhelming flood of support everyone has given me. I literally cannot believe the amount of people that have donated, or spread the word. It has been absolutely insane how kind everyone is, and for that, I am eternally greatful. Thank you alll for your support. Because of you, I was able to get enough groceries to last my roomates and I a long while. Not only that, but the support has been so great, that I may even be able to cover rent if I cannot find work in time. The amount people have donated to my cause has been unbelievable, and I am at a loss for words. I don't know how to respond, other than say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Someday, when my life is stable, I want to do all I can to earn the support, praise, and generosity all of you have given me. I want to make you all proud and happy. I want to be active in the community again, and reach the heights I know I am capable of. Thank you all for helping me during this horrible time in my life, It means so very much to me!
New Video: Puss in Boots Stream Highlights!
Posted 3 years agoFinally got back into streaming, and posted a new highlight video! Josephine and I played Puss in Boots for the Nintendo Wii. We kabonged many banditos on our quest for BEANS. It was very fun <3
Also some updates: I'm... not doing great at all.
Still jobless, poor as hell, and incredibly depressed. I'm having terrible days like today, where I just cannot get out of bed. I slept all day, yet I still feel exhausted. I'm just... really not okay lately. I'm trying my best, but I'm struggling to draw at all, or feel joy in anything. I'm just miserable as hell again and I can't stand it. It's like I'm just not allowed to be happy, bad thing after bad thing keeps hitting me hard and I don't understand why. I just cannot get a break.
I hate to vent publicly, but its impacting my art and productivity. I can't get anything done because I'm just so constantly, overwhelmingly miserable. I'm so sorry everyone... I'm trying my best to hang in there...
Also some updates: I'm... not doing great at all.
Still jobless, poor as hell, and incredibly depressed. I'm having terrible days like today, where I just cannot get out of bed. I slept all day, yet I still feel exhausted. I'm just... really not okay lately. I'm trying my best, but I'm struggling to draw at all, or feel joy in anything. I'm just miserable as hell again and I can't stand it. It's like I'm just not allowed to be happy, bad thing after bad thing keeps hitting me hard and I don't understand why. I just cannot get a break.
I hate to vent publicly, but its impacting my art and productivity. I can't get anything done because I'm just so constantly, overwhelmingly miserable. I'm so sorry everyone... I'm trying my best to hang in there...
Feeling Better! Time to Draw!
Posted 3 years agoAfter lots of rest, I finally feel better. The cadmium poisoning seems to have run its course, and I'm feeling relatively normal again.
This means I can finally get back to drawing. I've got quite a few commissions to finish, but once I do, I will be opening for commissions again with my newer revised prices.
I'm still jobless, and I need to make $600 for rent before the end of the month. I'm very nervous about making enough in time. But I hope with the new prices, and all of your help, I'll be able to make it. I will be working VERY hard this month to get as much done as possible. So if you've been wanting art from me, stay tuned! An opportunity will be coming up very soon.
Thank you all so much for your support and kindness. I'll keep you all posted and up to date on how things go. <3
This means I can finally get back to drawing. I've got quite a few commissions to finish, but once I do, I will be opening for commissions again with my newer revised prices.
I'm still jobless, and I need to make $600 for rent before the end of the month. I'm very nervous about making enough in time. But I hope with the new prices, and all of your help, I'll be able to make it. I will be working VERY hard this month to get as much done as possible. So if you've been wanting art from me, stay tuned! An opportunity will be coming up very soon.
Thank you all so much for your support and kindness. I'll keep you all posted and up to date on how things go. <3
PSA: AVOID DARK CHOCOLATE, LEAD/CADMIUM POISONING!
Posted 3 years agoHey everyone... I've got some really bad news...
Two days ago, before my mom flew home, we had some discount Dove Dark Chocolates as a holiday treat. Unfortunately, we had no idea that dark chocolates fromall sorts of companies are currently contaminated with lead and cadmium.
https://foodpoisoningbulletin.com/2.....ark-chocolate/
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hershe.....-lead-cadmium/
My mom didn't eat as many as I did, so shes going to be ok, but I'm.. not ok.
I'm incredibly sick. I had to call the poison control center and see if i needed hospitalization. Thankfully, not yet, but its bad. I am spending the new year bedridden with a dizzy head, and horribly upset tummy. It feels like food poisoning but far worse. I'm very scared and sad and I just want to be ok. I'm miserable...
Please, with all the holiday chocolates going around, do NOT eat dark chocolate right now. It's very dangerous, and I dont want anyone to get sick off of what was supposed to be a happy treat like I did.
I'm gonna be bedridden until this is solved, so art is unfortunately delayed again... thank you for your patience im so sorry...
Two days ago, before my mom flew home, we had some discount Dove Dark Chocolates as a holiday treat. Unfortunately, we had no idea that dark chocolates fromall sorts of companies are currently contaminated with lead and cadmium.
https://foodpoisoningbulletin.com/2.....ark-chocolate/
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hershe.....-lead-cadmium/
My mom didn't eat as many as I did, so shes going to be ok, but I'm.. not ok.
I'm incredibly sick. I had to call the poison control center and see if i needed hospitalization. Thankfully, not yet, but its bad. I am spending the new year bedridden with a dizzy head, and horribly upset tummy. It feels like food poisoning but far worse. I'm very scared and sad and I just want to be ok. I'm miserable...
Please, with all the holiday chocolates going around, do NOT eat dark chocolate right now. It's very dangerous, and I dont want anyone to get sick off of what was supposed to be a happy treat like I did.
I'm gonna be bedridden until this is solved, so art is unfortunately delayed again... thank you for your patience im so sorry...
Merry Chris-mass <3 (And Updates)
Posted 3 years agoMerry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! <3
This year is very VERY special. My mom, who hasnt been up north sense the divorce years ago, has flown up to spend the holidays with me. That alone has been wonderful, but the real Christmas miracle, has been my sister.
My mom hasn't seen my sister in 7 years. But this holiday, she got to finally hug her child again and tell her how much she loves her. <3
It has been so wonderful, I am so happy~
Things this year have been very rough and financially tight, but this has just been the most wonderful thing. <3
As such though, I wont be able to work on commissions until after the 30th when everyone goes home. And... well... money has been kinda tight sense i had to quit my job. If you want to help out, here is my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
When I get finished the current commission batch, I plan on making a new price sheet. I've been struggling to price my work appropriately. I've been undercharging and undervaluing my art, and also taking too many coms at once. I'm going to fix all of this, so that i can draw more, better images for all to enjoy.
But yeah things are... nice <3 i'm struggling, tired, and poor, but... i have my mom and my sister here in my apartment. I'm happy <3
I love you all so much, see you!
This year is very VERY special. My mom, who hasnt been up north sense the divorce years ago, has flown up to spend the holidays with me. That alone has been wonderful, but the real Christmas miracle, has been my sister.
My mom hasn't seen my sister in 7 years. But this holiday, she got to finally hug her child again and tell her how much she loves her. <3
It has been so wonderful, I am so happy~
Things this year have been very rough and financially tight, but this has just been the most wonderful thing. <3
As such though, I wont be able to work on commissions until after the 30th when everyone goes home. And... well... money has been kinda tight sense i had to quit my job. If you want to help out, here is my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/pieman
When I get finished the current commission batch, I plan on making a new price sheet. I've been struggling to price my work appropriately. I've been undercharging and undervaluing my art, and also taking too many coms at once. I'm going to fix all of this, so that i can draw more, better images for all to enjoy.
But yeah things are... nice <3 i'm struggling, tired, and poor, but... i have my mom and my sister here in my apartment. I'm happy <3
I love you all so much, see you!
