..... Anyone wanna draw me a picture of Azrael or hyooman me with Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy??? ;0;

I uhh...... Was never exaggerating when I said I was obsessed and in love with death.... :x Aha.

I have problems... But seriously. >:3 Happy times.

Hey guys- So, I moved... It's been really difficult since change = my biggest trigger. :/ and I've dealt with probably more horrible things than I can remember all at once happening to me... Things have been tough... and I haven't really had the internet, much money or anything...x.x

I'll get back to people soon- I promise. ToT I'm sorry....

I've been severely, severely, severely depressed...:c It's hard living without much food, pot, or friends.... Kinda trapped in my head here....

But, I have been working on my art/commissions! I will scan some things in and upload them once I have a bit of a faster connection.

Thanks for being patient....

So, actually, I ended up having to go to urgent care and it turns out I have a really bad case of thrush...

Ughhh, thanks, compromised immune system. x_x

luckily, I got some medications for this because of health insurance... Hopefully it will be better in a few days.... D:

*dies*

So, as I suspected since I haven't had energy or ability to get anything done recently, I am actually really sick.

Turns out I have strep throat. :(

It should be gone within a few days because I just started antibioitics...
But again, sorry for the hiatus. D: I've been sick for a while now- hopefully this clears it up...

So yeah... The passing of my rat has been really, really difficult... I also got really physically ill from dealing with too many traumatic things at once, and adjusting to this new medication.. :/

But I made a tumblr for my art- I'm hoping to at least upload some sketches by thursday....

http://serpentine-dreams.tumblr.com/

Thanks for being patient, you guys- I haven't had a lot of money because the comparison of cash I had when I was working to what I had/have now is about 50% difference.... It's been really difficult to live, although I am VERY thankful to those who have commissioned me. <3 I just haven't really had all of the items I need to take care of myself because of lack of money. :(

Only a couple of days....

My pet rat, Lancelot, passed away this morning, and I had to listen to him writhe in agony and whimper for a few days now, on and off... I just... I don't even know how to process this......

Okay, not really ,but if you get that reference, you are awesome.

ANYWAY, thanks to some commission money, and finally getting a GOOD psychiatrist, I have FINALLY gotten a prescription for the ADHD medication that I need- this means that y'all should DEFINITELY see art from me soon. :D

omg, being able to focus is a beautiful thing.

So, good news! I have raised enough money to get some food as well as some of the meds I need and to renew my medical card which is pretty important for me, since cannabis is one of the ONLY things that helps me with my emotional dysregulation/ADHD/anxiety....

But aside from that! I got commissioned to draw some herms! :0 I'm honestly pretty excited because it's not anything I've tried my hand at before, but it sounds fun! It will be a journey! :0

Okay, I need to go to sleep.

I CAN'T STOP EATING. :[

Tomorrow!!!! :)

I was just wondering if anyone wanted to meet up tomorrow! I am thinking about taking the party back to my pad if there aren't like 20 people (LOL) who want to come for an art jam and chill sesh! (I have a studio apartment. :C and pets!)

Please contact me VIA note, text, or this journal if interested! (:

On May 1st, this ancient Sioux land may be sold off to the highest bidder....

This is very, very wrong....

My heart goes out to my brothers in the North... May the great sky-jaguar leap from the night sky and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies.

Here is information on how you can help- at least, please, pass this along.

http://www.nativenewsnetwork.com/a-.....nded-knee.html

Well, it looks like I am going to be moving, and I need to save some money to live while I'm looking for a job in a new city....

Here is a little more information about what is going on, and about commissions... It's not super detailed and just talks about my flat rates, but it's not too bad. >< I don't think....

http://igg.me/p/387578/x/3022670

Thank you so much for looking. <3

.... I am having a completely nervous breakdown....

It was due to happen- the past few months build up of constant shit after shit after shit has left me almost ill enough physically and mentally to be hospitalized...
So I had to quit....

So I will be offering discount commissions right now- probably not anything really big since I still really want to finish some trades and the commission for  prowler7 soon...

But I will be offering discounted badges (10$ full color etc.), discounted character sketches (8$), discounted inked character sketches (15$), busts (10$), and we can discuss if you are interested in something else. :)

I will pretty much draw anything aside from sexual situations involving furs that look like children or are "cubs" still. Herms, extreme cumshots, macro, micro, hard core bondage, multiple genitals- just ask. c:

Please help.....

Soooo things are still going kinda shittily- I've still been poor and still had the flu. :( and being sick is part of why I'm so poor. x.x Anyway! My birthday is coming up on the 13th and I'd ttly love art of Azrael for it. :0 Soooo........Go go go!

Hey guys,

I wanted to apologize for being distant yet again. :/ I've been dealing with probably the worst breakup I've ever had... Although I now realize it was a blessing in disguise, because as per usual, my ex in actuality is a selfish liar, who probably is very well on his way to becoming a highly functioning sociopath. -.- The blessing? I learned a lesson. I learned not to pay attention to what most people say, and watch what they do, even in love- as much as I want to trust and give myself entirely, and make someone else happy, it only leads me to be taken for granted, and taken advantage of.

Anyway....

I've been working on some art, including Rodent's commission. I'm not going to upload anything until I at least have one of his pictures done because I feel like that's fair- but I wanted to let everyone know what's going on.

So far karma has been very, very kind to me.

Namaste.

Well, I'm going to start working full time.. So I'll probably be around the internet and what not even less. :/ I have been inspired to draw more and such though! Should get my art affairs in order soon, at least....

-Que-
 prowler7 - finish his commission!
 darkmoon - couples badges! :3
-Four horsemen- personal project. To be revealed.

Anyone that I was friends with on there: I didn't take you off!!! :( I just deactivated for a while.

Anyone wanna invite me???

So you guys- I need inspiration to finish a commission and other art- badly....

I want to do a little something illustrating marijuano usage- yes, I said marijuano- watch Tim and Eric... Anyway...

Please submit a ref sheet of your character or at least tell me that you schmoka da weed here, and I may just include you! c:

...Is me when I'm off my meds.

If I've forgotten about any art trades.... Please... Let me know... ._. This winter and the end of autumn has just been one stressful thing and one more unreasonable (either attacking me, ignoring me, victim blaming/shaming, or other...) person after the next. -_- Too much is happening too fast. :/

I'm sad I have no where to stay for FC. :C and I highly doubt I will have money for it.... >_> Bummer. :/ Oh well- I kinda deserve it ahahaha I still need to finish Rodent's commission- I realized that it takes me forever to finish commissions because I am soooo terrified of fucking it up and spilling on it or crumpling it or something. >_> I need an art table....

This new year came with some BIG changes...

Especially one big, surprisingly really -good- one- I think karma may have finally caught up with me.... I'm not alone anymore. :) I found a wonderful, loving, sweet, considerate, caring guy who doesn't run away from his problems, and is mature, and frankly, this feels like all I've ever wanted.... and I think the feeling is mutual. :)

Soooo I'm going to be emotional, so expect more art from me! ;P I apologize in advance for mushiness. ._.

I still don't know if I'm going..... ._. I don't know what's going on with rooming and what not or who is gonna be there that would want to see me/I'd wanna see.. BUT I thought I'd fill it out anyway. Also if anyone has floor space, let me knowwww. xD;; I can probably help with some booze/food/stuff.

-Where are you staying?
hahaha idk. ._.

-Means of transportation
Bay area public transit I guess. :P

-Sharing a room with
not sure ._.

-Gender
It depends, but I pretty much mostly present as a lady- lol, I'm like a real life Victor Victorious. :P Except with another level- I'm like a woman, but instead of pretending to be a man, I'm a bisexual man trapped in a woman's body, pretending to be a woman ahah. Or something.

-Relationship Status
Hahahah yeah I'm pretty sure I've given up.

-How old are you?
23

-How tall are you?
5'4" I'm A TINY LITTLE LATIN GIRL HELP.

-Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Walking around probably- latching on to people's groups if they let me...xD;; I'm much more Taurus than Aries, so I'm way more inclined to follow a GOOD leader than try to lead the group myself. >_> Not really a huge fan of being first in command unless all things go to shit.

-Who will you be with?
lol good question! At some point if I go, definitely  pulsifer if he goes, and maybe his roommate who's hella cool and kind of a furry? :0 Hopefully  carmine,  thetaxidermy, and others, but there's not a ton of bay area furs that I know will be going tha tI'm friends with, and there's lots of people far away that I don't know will be coming this year- I've been kind of out of the furry loop... and trying to interact with people on more of a friends level.

-Do you do free art?
Sorry but no... It's pretty cutthroat to get a decent amount of money where I'm living and I want to continue living there- I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!!!! ._. and I really could use the extra cash for a sketch or something. ;_;

-Do you do trades?
yeah, but I probably shouldn't take on too many considering I still have a commission to finish. :/ Slowly getting back into doing art tho.

-Do you do commissions?
Usually. Again I can't take too many.

-Do you have prints/ CDs ?
nope, not yet

-Can I touch you?
Absolutely not. To quote Tim and Eric "Always remember: Don't touch the clowns, let the clowns touch YOU." Haha, but yeah, because I have PTSD, I kind of prefer if people make it obvious they're going to hug me, and I don't like when people cling to me, unless I know them well... and anything beyond hugs is not appropriate unless I do it to you first. :P ahahah I'm horrible- but don't worry! I treat others with the same respect I ask for if they respect me. :3

-Can I talk to you?
Sure!!! Unless I look or seem irritated- I can promise you 100% that it has nothing to do with you!!!! I'm just a super moody person, especially due to all my chronic health issues. :/

-Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Hell yes.

-Do you smoke?
Do I smoke what???? ;) hahaha. Weed and tobacco. Feel free to share....???? :D

-Can I give you lots of money?
No because then I'd feel obligated to pay you back somehow. I'm a very un-selfish person if I'm treated well, and I'm also very skeptical.... Feel free to buy my art tho! :D

-Do you have a fursuit?
Nah cause I haven't had the time to make it. :C But I have a hood with Azrael ears on ittttt I want to add some horns and then I guess I'll be good since I have a tail. :P I really want a kigurumi though AUGHHHH!!!!

-Can I hug or snuggle with you?
You can hug me!!! Hey if I meet someone there who I think is pretty cute and I get on well with, I might snuggle them. :P Again, I like to be the man in the situation, haha (such an Aries thing....), so it's probably best if you wait for me to come on to you. ;D

-Are you nice?
My personality is: nice! :) my attitude is: depends on how you treat me! ^_^ Keep that in mind!

-Can I buy you food and/or eat meals with you?
Sure! ^^ Unless you're a really really messy eater- I'm sorry, i'm so sorry- but I just.. idk, I kind of have a stick in my ass, as far as certain manners/manneurisms go...:/ I'm pretty big on hygene and being polite- at least/especially in public.

-Can I give you presents?
Again, this goes back to the money thing- I'd really prefer you not, unless I know you and there's a sentimental value. :P

-Can I hang with you in your room?
Disclaimer: I will NOT go back to someone's room with them alone, after what I've been through. ._. That is all. But parties are totally different!!!! :D and sure if I know you and trust you you can come to my room if it's ok with my roommates. x3 If I have a room. ._.

-Can I dance with you at the dances?
lol if I actually go.

-Stage or public performance?
NOOOOO I hate being the center of attention!!! >< (Yes there is a difference between wanting validation and being an attention whore)

-Can I invite you to parties?
yes please!!!!

-Cliquey?
Absolutely NOT. and if you are that way, or a gossip, please fuck off. I may be into good manners etc. but I'm not a stuck up catty bitch, and I believe in equality for all. Can't we all just get along??? I know it's been said too much but seriously- please??? Can people just learn to work through their issues instead of being little children??? Haha clearly I have met some cliquey furs in the past. :P

-Personality Type
INTJ lol.
Hmm. SUCH A HARD QUESTION!!! I have borderline personality disorder and you see the whole thing with that is a loss of sense of self. ._. So I'm a little obsessed with my identity causeeeeee I can'tseemtofigureitout ugh. But I guess the way I see the world is pretty much like Sherlock Holmes. I kind of feel like I'm basically Lisa Simpson.



- How can I get your attention?
Definitely say hi! I also suffer from avoidant "features", so that means basically avoiding things/people even if secretly I want to be a part of things, because it's really anxiety provoking and uncomfortable to do said things/interact with people. ._. Sometimes if someone tries to "get at" me or really shows that they're genuinely interested in having me around, it helps- a lot. I often feel like everyone hates me, so probably, be nice, and approach me! :3 I'm also a space case, and probably won't always have my glasses on so I might not see you

-Panels?
i try and make it to that shit but it never happens

Ugh so... I know I said I was coming back a month ago, and then I never did... :/ No one probably cares, but I've been struggling with SEVERE depression- like, honestly, I've been trying to fight off sucidal urges. I really wish sometimes that no one cared about me and realized how much better off the world would be without me, but people can't seem to realize that I'm just a fundamental fuck up who ruins everything... -_- Oh well... (No, please don't give me validating sympathetic comments- this is NOT for attention- this is for letting people know what is going on- super sappy comments will be deleted- I don't deserve any sympathy... I'm a horrible person- I truly believe that, and need to just self flagellate for a while)

But yeah... I have been drawing somewhat, and I worked on my overdue commission somewhat- I've never been this slow....But even my therapist says she's never seen me this depressed... x___x I'm hoping to go to FC this year- that might cheer me up- even though there will totally be people who don't wanna see me and I don't wanna see them... I'm sure that tons of my LOYAL friends will be there... Although then again, I'm on the fence, because the less I interact with people, the easier it will be for them to forget about me, and for me to just kind of crawl into a corner and die.

IDK. Yeah so.... That. :/ I know part of it is because terrible, terrible, unspeakable things have happened to me prevviously around this time of year...and I am constantly reminded/triggered by them.... Sigh..

You will probably see some art later, is what I'm trying to say.