i am thinking of participating the RAAM race.
this will ofcourse not be cheap.... at all

however it is an idea that keeps popping back in my head, as i want to do something unique :)
what do you guys think, me cycling cross america

ofcourse i will train for this undertaking, but i think it would be awesome experience:)

i want to thank all my friends, just for being there
yes, stuff aren't going well, i have tight finances and not every decision i make is of the wise.

i dont have to ask for anything, you are just there, when you having a hard time, still giving love!
i myself try to be there for friends when i can, and i love to help out on anyone, where i can,

if you ever have something on your heart and feel like to shed it, feel free to do so.
its the least thing i can do in return.

aside i am thinking of joining the armed forces, to get some training, goals and money
i will still study n everything, but i need to do something.
dont know what to do for now, lots and lots going on lately in my life.

who knows what holds tomorrow, i don't

yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present
thanks to all of you being supportive! i am great-full for this

Now that i have your short attention span!

I get annoyed over and over by furs who think, quote:
"If you do not like yiff you arent a fur"
"Groping is a nice friendly gesture"
"Every fur loves a good grope"
"You dont like yiff? Lies!"
"furries = yiff"
"but i am nice *grope* so why are you going ape?"

I hate this behaviour, to be honest, we should split furfaggotry from furries, because if you are fur only yiff, then you are in it for the wrong reasons
if you want to yiff-RP me, i have a tip for you: unwatch me, fuck off
i like cuddling, i like rollplay,
but touching one's parts (digital or irl) is just fucked up.

i am in this fandom for years, and i hear allot of people saying that this yiff behaviour ruins the fandom
(and to prove this(new york furBBQ for instance))
now, stop saying this bullshit and in meanwhile secretly yiff everyone around (or say you are clean fur, whilst you have A rated art)

fuck off if you are watching me because you want in my pants.

again, i dont mind cuddling or normal roleplay, but sexual roleplay should be between you and your mate, and not to everyone.
if you do not agree, then please unwatch.

govnemental shit
i have to register as student 2012-2013 digital, and whoever knows what i mean, govnements and proper working websites dont fucking work.

i need to reset my password for obvious reason that someone wants to hack me,
but i have to register quick!
because otherwise i am too late with registering, meaning i have to proof atleast a dozen times that i am realy me (treat the govnement for Schizophrenia)

well, ofcourse if you lost your password digital, you can resend it digital (obvious is obvious)
however this is not the case with the govnement.

they show the option resend password, using mail, but one can only select the option: "resend password via mail" (the paper version that is)

OK GOVNEMENT, we know your slow, but this is retarded.
to get my password back digital is not only quicker using emails.

IT ALSO SAVES TREES damnit!

this is useless use of paper, sad people, the govnement
slow working retarded options.

simply, i had to select the option, resend password via (paper) mail
then some computersystem will register this and print it (instead that system could just have send an email)
and now i have to wait for a week to get my mail.


so again, this is just the start of all frolics with the govnement,
To be continued.....


(and now i wonder why people hate the govnement for being retarded, oldfashioned, slow as shit and waste of money)

she does all kinds of art, but for me she drew the "tony shark"
yep that would be the name of the shark sona from now

so what artist am i talking about?

well  azanawolf is an artist you should definately have in your watchlist
yup she draws everything, so probably she be able to get that vulgar idea of yours on paper so you can show others how messed your mind is

she needs her college funding, this way she becomes even better!
support her, and get a drawing yourself

and if its clean art, i would love to see it ;)
if its vulgar, you can stick it where moons dont orbit ;) (keep it away from me)

thanks, thats all

and GO COMMISSION HER, its def worth your money
-tony shark-

Where are you staying?
The EF hotel

What day are you getting there?
thursday

Who will you be rooming with?
kalaallit-amaroq and spike

What suit(s) will you have?
Quiran

Can I dance with you?
uhh, i guess so

What is your gender?
male

How old are you?
22

How tall are you?
1.92m

Are you mated? in a relationship?
im in a relation

Can I touch you?
depends what you mean with touching, because wrong touching is something i will fight off

Can I talk to you?
sure =^.^=

Can I hug you?
if you are clean and showered and such, i guess so

Can I take photos of you/with you?
if you want to

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
sure, you can, i love drinks

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
i drink yes.
smoke? i am not a volcano/dragon, so smoking is not something for me

Can I give you lots of money?
always welcome

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
again, make sure you are well rinsed

Can we hang out?
sure

Are you nice?
are you nice? that's the only thing that depends on my niceties

Where will you be most of the time during the con?
i have no idea, ive never been at EF so i dont know the place

Other cons you may go to?
Furlaxation, Columbus OH in september/october
AC 2013, pittsburgh PA in juli

Attending any events?
fursuit parade for sure, but again i dont know EF, so we'll see :3

How can I find you at the con?
grab a cardboard sheet, write my name on it in BOLD and walk around

If i had a roomparty, can i invite you?
depends what kind of roomparty

Can i kiss you?
can i punch you?

Can i do things to you?
Is your mortgage payed?

What shouldn't i do when i meet you?
touch inappropriate, this gets you injured
humping, this would result in you trying to get air, rolling on floor
lick, ill push you away and ignore you from now on
invite to naughty things

What should i do when i meet you?
feed me, give me drinks, say hi, just like every other human you have met, if you do that you be fine.

I wanna give you art!
sure, i love art

i haz gotten surgery, i hope everything is well, but at this moment, we are not sure :/

my wound keeps swelling and warming, is painfull to touch.
we keep a close watch, since swelling is normal

next week i get surgery for my inguinal hernia,

friday 11,30 CET will be the time of doom... they will fix me >.> (not chads chads, gone are my nads)
but i really not look forward to this shizzle

some of you guys already know i am making an iron man costume,
 ironmanprop here you can follow every step in the process and see how far i am with my design

i will watch people with that account, tho i will give feedback to all your questions / comments

so, watch the process of iton man getting shape :)

whoohoo, i got a job

a woodworkshop has agreed to let me "rent" their workshop so i can make furniture.

so, why is this good to me, since i have no experience in woodworking...

basicly i am an artist, renting a workshop to make furniture.
if i sell something, i have to pay the costs for the workshop, since i used the workshop to make that product.

the rest of the money i can keep myself, so i can make money.
If my "boss" needs me i can deside to help him (and learn something) or continue my work.

and the best part is, i still can study, since my school schedule is awkward i cant work on the same time every week, so a job as salesman is not possible (we need you every week from... to ....)

i just have to call him if its ok if i work.

and when i design something, i need him to check it, if it isnt too complex, so that i can make it.


it seems i can make a job myself, thinking this out.... im suprised i came up with this structure.
and... its completely legal.

check this dude out
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3272951/

and livestream glass blowing
http://www.livestream.com/zekuthelapdragon

its badass

yup i did stupid, and it even might give me something rewarding

as some of you know, i lost my job in the zoo over a year ago, just after i booked my trip to AC.
im without a job ever since.

instead of trying the normal path of subscribing to a job program and hope you get a job that fits you,
i decided to take a step out of line and push myself over any normal job application procedures.

basically i looked for smith and woodwork shops and started calling them, in range from close to home to far away.
the first furniture repair shop i called was not interested, but wanted to know what i was looking for, and why (random phone solicitations dont really happen here)
all of a sudden he heard my idea and desided to invite me over to have a talk about my idea.

basicly what i offered was : i will make my own furniture and sell it, and you as owner are my tutor.
so here i am: no experience on woodworking or whatever, and i get invited to talk about getting a job.

he wont pay me, but i can keep a part of the profit, and i learn a new skill


WOOT, im so exited
now pray that this silly step is going to work out for me.
i am looking forward to make something :)

well yeah, i have grown older yet again, cant control what direction i travel on the 4th dimension.
anyways, i got allot of congrats from allot of people, thankies.

today i get a package that will help me allot, a bunch of medical stuff, enough for 2 months.
anyways, i got dremeltools, epoxy, furry book, soviet stuffies and some more stuff.

thought my bicycle got stolen today, turned out they just moved it somewhere else >.<

anyways the health stuff still is allot
and my dad is still an ass, last weekend i was home he got mad over me tripping over a cardboard box he'd put on the stairs.
his own fault, and i get yet again the blame.

i am thinking of cutting contact....

well after my last post i mentioned i require diapers on nightly basis, i wanna thank you all for the positive responses on this matter, still its an embarrassing thing...

and for more lulz, the next day i went to church, and there was a short talk on babies and their requirement of diapers (there haz been 3 babies born in 2 weeks, so they had to give attention to them)... i felt sinking through the ground, like god was trolling me >.<

i did not tell any of my family, and i will not soon.
however my parents started to note my stress more and more (my university results are dangerously low)
and they wanna talk bout it and such.

they gonna give a dremel tool with accessories for my birthday, a gift that is much appreciated, they try to help my but they sometimes just fail allot, and there is been allot of harm from the past.
i hope that it will be all fine someday.

i just told my parents my stre it was only about my financial stuff, and the headace, however its not the case.
i will not tell them any time soon, its still allot of weight to me.

so another few pup fox facts:
i will get surgery in 6 weeks.... not looking forward to it...

as today i crashed my foot into an iron plate, and split my big toe nail... and after an hour or two someone desided to stand on it.... so now its numb and feels weird... going to see tomorrow whats going on, maybe to doctor if its still numb
it still flesh collored, so no dead tissue there.

and.... still 6 days remain to my birthday, so then i be 22 >.< (yaay(dot)sarcazm)

now lets find another jar of luck i can live on, so i can live happely for a few years ^^

ok, here i go.

only some people do know this, but due to an accident (i wont go into detail) i got some trauma.
one of them is a constant chronic headace, which is quite painfull, one of the other things is: i started bedwetting

i live on dorms, have other students near me all the time, and to be honest, i am scared shit that they will find out.(in the end they will somehow)

aswell i have parents who particulary dont care about privacy (which is odd, because dutch people tend to care allot bout it), so i dont realy thrust them....


went to the docter before, to get a perscription for diapers, well they are expensive, (the price already makes no sence) and i have no way of getting GOOD & RELIABLE diapers.
only instead of getting what i need, they did allot of exams on me (CT, CAT, echo, ect)
but i felt after each medical exam more and more sick, scared, touched, groped, and picked at.
So i basicaly quit, after i kept hearing they cant find anything, from this i felt worse and worse.


do i feel better now?
NO

the fact of being so cautios and suspicious, think every step through, not having one to support me in all of this,
and dealing with the fact i NEED diapers like a baby, which is horribly hummiliating makes me just sick more.
dealing with mood swings, which keep growing worse and worse by the day
nervous about someone in my room, or greeting me when i wear (in the morning, when im wet and smelly)
im realy starting to deteriorate, and im not shure how to handle this stuff.

on some occasions i have had babyfurs saying, lucky you, free diapers, well so-far i didn't get diapers (had to buy them, costing about 25 € for crappy kiddy pullups), and that comment is like a stab in the heart, so they have no idea.

well let me tell,

- you need to wear every night,
- when you go to a friend,
- to school-camp (from a student work group),
- sleep over at practical training,
- when going to do bush-craft for a while
- or whatever shit you do when you go sleeping somewhere at (hotels love diapers *sarcasm*)

basicaly on situations where you dont want it, you still have to.

im scared people will ridicule me (which probably will happen anyways if i dont tell) when i tell
people dont care about how you feel, if they just can gain one single moment of epicness and positive attention (making fun of others) then they'll do it


now this surgery is comming up (for inguinal hernia), i need to go to hospital for it, and well, if something happens there, who will they tell aswell ....
im scared shit of the surgery itself, since of my trypanophobia (fear of needles) and this is just another thing i cant handle..

the problem with this, you just cant flee from it, its everywhere around you.
already a lot of furs should have figured out i wear diapers... but still this is the worst post i ever did make

*sigh*.... so now you know what goes on in this feral....


thanks for the fur who wants to support me where he can, even we dont know for that long.

if you deside to be a dick on this, then i see what "friend" you are worth, and it tells what kind of person you are (hahaha-look-at-him,-he-is-in-a-wheelchair-hahaha-person)

and yet again, i do not look forward for it.... it is yet again a time to remember the fight in the family, about me and money...
i hate this season much, i feel shitty, not understood....
now my medical issue gives me more worries, i just cant handle it much

i guess ill be celebrating my birthday again, with 2 aunts and uncles..... and 3 or 4 friends...

i not shure what to think of this time... people say im nice, but i feel like a prick.


aswell as money gets more and more of an issue... i am behind in payin for basic shit, cant get my medical stuff, since insurance doesnt pay out.
been to the docter before to ask for the stuff i require, and all i get is medical research, but they couldnt find any reason... so i am lying (atleast i think they think that)

so enough reasons to jump infront of a train...
im scared i grow a depression or what....

--help--

tight hernia....

yup, and even i probably cant escape the surgeons.

today i got an echo, which means that they used sound to examine my thights on the inside, and they found a fracture, where my peritoneum can pass through, which can be quite painfull (as if kicked in the nuts on some bad cases)
i keep this stuff normaly to myself, but i am quite nervous, as i do not know what to expect

there are mixed reactions online, saying it is painfull (or just not at all) blue penis and scroch stories (i like to do research on the subject, so that i am well prepared)

ofcourse it doesnt mean i do care about the stories, since every chirurgical procedure is different (i know, because i did assist in ceveral chirurgical procedures (over 100) so i know what im up to)

but its my first surgery, and since im big time scared of needles, like a baby is of explosions... i kinda worry
and yes you can tell me i be fine and such (thank you for that) but it wont kill anxiety (since undergoing it is new for me and that needle part i do have experience on)

yes, i haz desided i need another costume.
so now i am making iron man, mark IV.

how on earth do you make such costume?
-get allot of cardboard
-get some glue
-old newspapers
-allot of reference material
-scissors
-time

if you are 6'2" or a lil larger, you can get the enlarged design from me,
and if you wanna know where to get some files, just ask

i will put some pictures up, once in a while

yeah, im going though allot >.>

i am dealing with allot of pain from the past, self acceptation, and that sort of stuff
in short: i dont know who i am....

i have desided to put my sona aside of me, so my sona is just a suit and art, no more no less, as it is supposed to.
but because of all the pain in the past, my childhood and youth, i used my fursona to hide myself of all those pains.

simply because i am afraid, im scared of all the pain, because it is huge.
so i have build up this shield, called QuiranPup, i hide behind his innocense, his playfull behaviour, just to cover up these flaws.

i have desided i will take these pains from the past and deal with it before it drives me nuts.
i need to accept myself.

i need to accept who i am, if i dont know who i am, how can i make a sona that resembles me.
not what i want to be.


so i am not a furry, or w/e you wanna call it, im just a furry fan.

but hope is there to, a fur is going to help me find a job in orlando, i refrain from saying his name, only that i am thankfull that he is willing to help me out with getting a seasonal job.

i just pray that i would get to accept myself for who i am, and not for what i wanna be.

i see what happens... only time can tell

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2868599/

find your quick art here

heh, i just wanted to buy meself some foode, cos im out of food :/
no credit ... hmm fun starts :/

i come home check my bank account and see the following -3500€

now is my question: how the FUCK am i gonna get myself some foods, cos water isnt the only stuff i could live on alone....
in the meanwhile, i pay my taxes as a good honorable citizen, and those taxes go to places where its needed, or is it?

if you own a house yyou can get govnement aid... if you own 3 houses , you can get aid for those 3 houses..
thas is sooo fair, probably those people in there dont have money to pay all for it.

does this seem fair to you, well to me it doesnt, so from now on im looking for a job where i dont pay my taxes... thats fair.
i need those monies more that those retarded rich asses....

someone should stand up and rob those people, and give that money to people who truely need it.
and im not realy that deep into the red. there are people that lack 100.000€ and have no way of recovering.

so stand up and help those people by robbing rich bastards

(i am speaking in figures, if you do this im not responsible for the reaction of the govnement on your being helpfull to poor people)
(neither am i planning on assasinating rich people (yet >:3) this is just a protest on our (fair) govnement system)

im broken, headaces, personal stuff, ongoing insomnia,
my study is interesting, politics are boring but still i wanna finish it.

im home today because of the headace, its annoying me much.
the good thing is i slept another 3 hours.

painkillers arent an option, as i am allergic to them.
so im now sittig bed and doing nothin.

i go to school tomorrow, whatever happens :P

i dont have infection so they'll be fine :)

yep, i arrived in america
yaay.

but....
somehow i attrackt the trouble,
i made a plane delay 15 minutes after it already delayed 30 minutes (crew showed up late)

why?
well, i was at the window, and i could see them loading my bagage, but i also saw they throw my bagage back into the lugage cart and drove off
so i just ran into the cockpit and poked the pilot, saying that they didnt board the lugage, so they called the loading guys, which confirmed that the cases i mentioned weren't loaded.
i had to use the crews headphones to describe the lugage, so they know that its mine.

they loaded it then into plane (after i had to show all flight papers and we left

WHY CANT THEY JUST HANDLE MY LUGAGE LIKE EVERY OTHER LUGAGE PIECE

lucky i noticed they not loaded my lugage, otherwise i lost it :O

so the flight from ohare to london got delayed by a fox :)

ok, anthrocon in 15 days, i realy cant believe the fact that i am then 4500 miles away from my current location :O

so, if you see me :) do the following to get my approval:

if in suit:
ask if i can be hugged,
talk to me, if i respond is up to me
pets, belly rubs and other friendly gestures
picture with me :), just ask

not in suit
buy me food / drinks / art, this is a good bribe and i consider you friendly :)
cuddle me
invite me to (friendly public accepted behaviour) parties
take pictures (some seem to want my head as trophy on the film o.O' )
pounce

for the safety of you and for the people around you, dont:

if in suit dont:
grope, i am a VET, and i know how to neuter, I WILL NEUTER, and it WILL be painfull
pounce, i dont mind them actualy, but if i get scared (thats not too hard) i WILL hit you, and not softly, i have suit defences
tail pulling, you know why: annoying
smell, i have a new suit, and i dont want it so smell like your unwashed body odor
tickle: i cant stand tickles and i not realy like them aswell
hump = you lose 70 hp

when not in suit dont:
grope (see if in suit dont:)
tickle
hug me unwashed, i hate stinkyfurs, i have girl deodorizer with, and i will spray you with femine fragrant
ask for yiff, unless you want a quick tour to hell



and in general:
KEEP YOUR FRICKING FETISHES OUT OF ME SIGHT
SO:

Unwashed: i see it as a fettish, you like to see how people respond, i respond dangerous, i will report and spray girl fragrant
Yiffparties: when i am invited to party and you guys start yiff, i will report
Diaperfurs, dont smell and neither i wanna see, i will report stupid behaviour, if i smell you because you like to do "stinky" in public, i just spray you and take my measures.
Sextoys: i guess they fun, but my imagination is lively, just keep them away i do not like
Touching, humping, ect: i will report and hit you


for reporting, expect the following:
i report to staff, write down your name, depending on behaviour: i will create an encyclopedia dramatica, i will post on several forums your offensive behaviour, and will troll you, and perhaps others to

Where are you staying?
The Westin

What are you driving/flying/riding?
Going to America: United airlines, picked up by: kaithlin and move to seattle with  ~Direlda

How long does it take for you to get there?
Uhhm, lemme finkies..... 11 hours flying 3 hours by car, and 2 hours transfer time, just to get at the proper airport.
Then from a friend where i stay to pittsburg.... 5 hours bus and 3 hours car

So in total 16 hours on day X (going to usa) and on day Y(going to pittsburgh) 8 hours

What was your first con?
Ahhmm, this comming one... never been to cons before

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Suiting and padding around (art corner and convention in general, perhaps stalk some lads)

Who will you be rooming with?
Kaithlin,  ~Direlda , ???? , and me ofcourse

What suit(s) will you have?
I will wear Quiran, my new suit

Can I dance with you?
Depends

Your talking to someone and I would like to say hi, but dont; know how, what can I do?
Speak dutch or just say hi, im not evil

What is your gender?
My plumbing suggests me that i am a boy

How old are you?
2 mon.... i mean 256 months, or just 21 years

How tall are you?
6' 1"

Are you mated?
uhhh, no

Rainbow or Ruler
i am straighter than a ruler, so if i puke, i puke rainstraights

Can I touch you?
depends, hugging is ok, but groping or other inapropriate touching (humping ect) will result in a full strike at your thorax and probably nausea / chokey feeling, and now you are warned, so dont whine and bawwwww on me.

Can I talk to you?
Shure, always, if i answer back is up to me (i probably will)

Can I hug you?
Absolutely, i love huggies!....unless you stinky and sweaty and Im wearing my suit, which is new

Can I take photos of you/with you?
your welcome, aslong as i can find them aswell

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
shure, beer, whiskey, beer, mede, mountain dew, beer, and many other things, so thats definately yes. Oh did i mention beer

You like dogtreats?
Depends how big your wallet is =$.$=

Do you like toys?
Squeeky toys, (tennis) balls and chewbones

Bottle or Sippy cup?
uhhhhh... A bottle ofcoure, who drinks his beer from a sippy cup O.o

If i leash you?
You have to be darn clever to keep me under controll (and not lose your leash cos its mine)

Can I give you lots of money?
Shure, then i can get myself some more souvenirs

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Shure, i like cuddles aswell

Can we hang out?
Yeah, probably i will organise a dutch party evning, so then you could come, but i can hang out anyways.

Are you nice?
Yush

Can i use your suit?
Can i use your pickuptruck, or can i haz your C4? (i haz no driverlicense, nor am i explosives expert)

If i want you to fetch, what should i do?
Bribe? And be reasonable with you bribe.

Do you bite?
Yes, like everything, i defenately bite my food, but if you dont behave, you can get a nip