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Megapl0x~!
Posted 11 years agoI'm back from the beach! It was crazy humid, and despite that (plus all the work on the house's caved-in floor) it was a fun week. It was just frustrating how I only had internet on my phone, that refused to have a reliable signal! lol
Also... they've totally and finally broken TF2. Watch...
Um, and one more thing!
Who here is going to Megaplex next month? A friend has invited me and a few others so he won't have to hang by himself, and if y'all wanna say hi to Rykela in person I'd like to know :3
Can anyone recommend someone who does interesting and unique badges?
Also... they've totally and finally broken TF2. Watch...
Um, and one more thing!
Who here is going to Megaplex next month? A friend has invited me and a few others so he won't have to hang by himself, and if y'all wanna say hi to Rykela in person I'd like to know :3
Can anyone recommend someone who does interesting and unique badges?
Going to a Wedding---
Posted 11 years agoMy sister is getting married this weekend. @_@
So I'll be busy from now until Sunday-Monday, traveling to Raleigh and getting things set up.
As for my gems, cleaning them properly isn't the sort of thing you can do with soap and water. Turns out it's more of a process of soaking, rinsing, then soaking again, ad infinitum over a 24-hr period. It's kind of like how you want to paint a wall in multiple coats if you want the color to stand out, and you have to wait between each coating. I've already soaked them in the Iron-Out solution, but it didn't quite remove ALL the staining and clay so I'm considering running out and getting some oxalic acid to do the trick, in which case I'd have to wait until Monday 'cause that'd require a whole 'nother round of this stuff, and it takes a whole day pretty much!
Specifically, you're supposed to soak the stones in a mix of Iron-Out and distilled water, stirring every so often (as it can discolor them if the solution is too strong) and after about half an hour of that transfer the rocks to a warm bath of pure distilled water to sit. Every half an hour or so, you swap it out so it stays clean, for about roughly a day. At the moment, they're sitting in the rinse-water, about halfway through that process, and afterwards if they develop a "powdery white coating" on them when they dry, THEN I have to soak them in a baking soda solution as that's a harmless byproduct of the Iron-Out yet I need to remove that too! x)
Being a rockhound is complicated if you're the kind who actually wants to dig out the stones yourself...
So I'll be busy from now until Sunday-Monday, traveling to Raleigh and getting things set up.
As for my gems, cleaning them properly isn't the sort of thing you can do with soap and water. Turns out it's more of a process of soaking, rinsing, then soaking again, ad infinitum over a 24-hr period. It's kind of like how you want to paint a wall in multiple coats if you want the color to stand out, and you have to wait between each coating. I've already soaked them in the Iron-Out solution, but it didn't quite remove ALL the staining and clay so I'm considering running out and getting some oxalic acid to do the trick, in which case I'd have to wait until Monday 'cause that'd require a whole 'nother round of this stuff, and it takes a whole day pretty much!
Specifically, you're supposed to soak the stones in a mix of Iron-Out and distilled water, stirring every so often (as it can discolor them if the solution is too strong) and after about half an hour of that transfer the rocks to a warm bath of pure distilled water to sit. Every half an hour or so, you swap it out so it stays clean, for about roughly a day. At the moment, they're sitting in the rinse-water, about halfway through that process, and afterwards if they develop a "powdery white coating" on them when they dry, THEN I have to soak them in a baking soda solution as that's a harmless byproduct of the Iron-Out yet I need to remove that too! x)
Being a rockhound is complicated if you're the kind who actually wants to dig out the stones yourself...
Mining trip ~<3
Posted 11 years agoSo this past weekend I made my third trip out to the Reel Mine in Iron Station, to dig for Amethyst and Smoky Quartz. I brought a friend for the first time, made sure I brought loads of sunscreen this time around, and together we had loads of fun! Here's how it went down...
I took
with me, and within ten minutes of us picking a spot and sitting down to chisel away, I'd hit a pocket. It was blocked up by this very large crystal, as if it was guarding the rest of the contents - https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....760129/photo/1 but unfortunately after opening it up, I discovered that most of the crystals inside were too small to be any good. Xane helped me clear it out so he got to keep the one other good cluster that came out of there.
After that, we followed the quartz seams in the hope that they'd widen back up and there'd be some good stuff to be had, but our hopes were for naught.... at least for this month. There simply wasn't enough room for anything good to form. So around noonish we quit with the rock and switched over to the other main pit, where it was more shoveling and digging than rock-breaking. Xane found several large pockets in his spot, but sadly the crystals inside had broken up into pieces sometime in the many millenia since their formation. Still, he got lots of chunks!
I spent most of the rest of the time surface picking and digging, and I still managed to find some nice pieces! Unfortunately, though, at the moment I can't really photograph them, as several are coated in rock-solid clay and they need a bath in Iron-Out to dissolve the dirt away. After that, though, they'll be gorgeous! I can't wait to see what they look like then...
Here, until then, enjoy some pics of some of my previous finds. :D
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....104833/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....222594/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....614528/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....334464/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....251841/photo/1
I took
with me, and within ten minutes of us picking a spot and sitting down to chisel away, I'd hit a pocket. It was blocked up by this very large crystal, as if it was guarding the rest of the contents - https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....760129/photo/1 but unfortunately after opening it up, I discovered that most of the crystals inside were too small to be any good. Xane helped me clear it out so he got to keep the one other good cluster that came out of there.After that, we followed the quartz seams in the hope that they'd widen back up and there'd be some good stuff to be had, but our hopes were for naught.... at least for this month. There simply wasn't enough room for anything good to form. So around noonish we quit with the rock and switched over to the other main pit, where it was more shoveling and digging than rock-breaking. Xane found several large pockets in his spot, but sadly the crystals inside had broken up into pieces sometime in the many millenia since their formation. Still, he got lots of chunks!
I spent most of the rest of the time surface picking and digging, and I still managed to find some nice pieces! Unfortunately, though, at the moment I can't really photograph them, as several are coated in rock-solid clay and they need a bath in Iron-Out to dissolve the dirt away. After that, though, they'll be gorgeous! I can't wait to see what they look like then...
Here, until then, enjoy some pics of some of my previous finds. :D
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....104833/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....222594/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....614528/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....334464/photo/1
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....251841/photo/1
MYAAAAAH!
Posted 11 years agoSo the big meteor shower was somewhat of a bust! Over two hours I only saw about ten... Although the first one was literally like someone sent a firework up into the sky the rest were all super dim and I'm lucky to have seen them. So now back to bed, and off to the Reel Mine in three hours!
The REAL news I wanted to say is that I've been a furry for going on six years and I JUST NOW made the connection between DragonNEER and PreyFAR.
I'm a goddamned idiot loal
The REAL news I wanted to say is that I've been a furry for going on six years and I JUST NOW made the connection between DragonNEER and PreyFAR.
I'm a goddamned idiot loal
Fucks sake...
Posted 11 years agoI had the craziest dream last night... I dreamed that I was the RED Pyro, and I got into a stash of overradiated Australium, and then something like this happened, and that kicked off an "arms race" between me and the BLU Pyro like in the cartoon "King-Size Canary," except well...
I think I might take a several-week break from playing Team Fortress. =_=
I think I might take a several-week break from playing Team Fortress. =_=
Coenn honfirmed
Posted 11 years agoAs shitty as my day has been, apparently Nintendo has broken the Internet...?
Hoenn is confirmed, I'd say that about evens things out for me. T3T
Except now I'm not in the mood to fucking draw anything except Pokemon trainers, why why why why
FML
Posted 11 years agoEarlier this morning, the very last day of final exams, apparently my uncle had a massive heart attack and had to be taken up to Baptist Hospital...
he's stable, but...
it's like my life has sitcom levels of stress, you know?
I'm gonna play Space Station 13 until everything goes away =_=
he's stable, but...
it's like my life has sitcom levels of stress, you know?
I'm gonna play Space Station 13 until everything goes away =_=
Finals Week
Posted 11 years agoI'm so unbelievably stressed and miserable. Typical stuff for college finals week, I guess...
There's this one class I'm trying to finish a paper for, and the thing's like forty percent of my final grade, so if I blow it it's possible I'll fail my class. I've already come off of two awful semesters before now, and I'm really wondering if I'm simply not meant to graduate from college...
we'll see how it goes I guess.
brb for a week or two while I work on school things. I might post a doodle or two if I feel like drawing something will help me relax, but don't expect me to be in the mood for chatting with anyone for now.
=_=
There's this one class I'm trying to finish a paper for, and the thing's like forty percent of my final grade, so if I blow it it's possible I'll fail my class. I've already come off of two awful semesters before now, and I'm really wondering if I'm simply not meant to graduate from college...
we'll see how it goes I guess.
brb for a week or two while I work on school things. I might post a doodle or two if I feel like drawing something will help me relax, but don't expect me to be in the mood for chatting with anyone for now.
=_=
Mining! Gonna be busy this coming week.
Posted 11 years agoThe Reel Mine was soooooooooooooooooo awesome this time around! When I went there back in the fall, I didn't find much 'cause I was only collecting off the surface - the good stuff was hidden behind far too much rock for me to break through in one day and I didn't even bother. But between then and yesterday, they'd taken drills to some of the areas to clear out some of the really irritating sandstone that was hiding the pockets of Amethyst, so right away I was able to find seams of the yellow clay and quartz that you follow to find the gems! It didn't take me long before I found my first pocket, and as I followed the seam downward the crystals just got better and better. I found dozens of gorgeous Smoky Quartz and even a few Amethyst crystals. I'll post pics whenever I'm done cleaning them. The yellow clay around them doesn't come off easily. x3 ~<3
I'm afraid I won't be around much this coming week, though. *sigh* My American Lit teacher decided to be a butt and assign ANOTHER paper I have to work on... I dunno, in the first two months I only had one, and now I've had two in the space of three weeks. Ugh...
I hope y'all are well, though!
I'm afraid I won't be around much this coming week, though. *sigh* My American Lit teacher decided to be a butt and assign ANOTHER paper I have to work on... I dunno, in the first two months I only had one, and now I've had two in the space of three weeks. Ugh...
I hope y'all are well, though!
THE GREATEST APRIL FOOL'S DAY GIFT
Posted 11 years agoHOMESTAR RUNNER HAS FUCKING UPDATED
THIS IS IN NO WAY AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE
http://www.homestarrunner.com
THIS IS IN NO WAY AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE
http://www.homestarrunner.com
Hey
Posted 11 years agoI'm still depressed...
...though not as much as I was last week. That was pretty miserable.
Like... for the most part, all you want to do is sleep, because when you're sleeping you don't have to think, or worry about anything. It's an easy escape from the stress.
For now, I'll be lurking around FA, and I'll try to answer texts and things when I can. I can't promise anything for sure, though... it's difficult sometimes to find any enthusiasm even for chatting with friends.
Stupid... why did I have to inherit such a messed-up brain?
...though not as much as I was last week. That was pretty miserable.
Like... for the most part, all you want to do is sleep, because when you're sleeping you don't have to think, or worry about anything. It's an easy escape from the stress.
For now, I'll be lurking around FA, and I'll try to answer texts and things when I can. I can't promise anything for sure, though... it's difficult sometimes to find any enthusiasm even for chatting with friends.
Stupid... why did I have to inherit such a messed-up brain?
Going away.
Posted 11 years agoI really, really, really hate my life.
It's like I'm not allowed to be happy...
I'm not going to be interested in talking with anyone for awhile. Don't bother me.
It's like I'm not allowed to be happy...
I'm not going to be interested in talking with anyone for awhile. Don't bother me.
argh
Posted 11 years agoFirst my computer shits the bed yesterday in the middle of studying/looking up references for anatomy, and I lose SO MUCH work, and just now I find my brand-spanking-new ten-dollar sketchbook and it's been soaked in spilled tea.
I'm not having a good time.
I'm not having a good time.
SKETCH COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!
Posted 11 years ago(Reposting from last night, so folks can see :>)
B-Be gentle, everyone, 'cause this is a first for me... W-Weh! x>
I'm opening FIVE slots for a single-person sketch at $15 apiece, to be paid when finished, of the same quality as these pieces here.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12852603/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12852667/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12570752/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12205555/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11731499/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10176384/
Please comment below if you would like one! I'll be checking back Friday afternoon (because school xD), so don't freak out if my responses are a bit late. x3
B-Be gentle, everyone, 'cause this is a first for me... W-Weh! x>
I'm opening FIVE slots for a single-person sketch at $15 apiece, to be paid when finished, of the same quality as these pieces here.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12852603/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12852667/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12570752/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12205555/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11731499/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10176384/
Please comment below if you would like one! I'll be checking back Friday afternoon (because school xD), so don't freak out if my responses are a bit late. x3
How Furry Fiesta Went! PROBABLY OPENING COMMISSIONS?
Posted 11 years agoFurry Fiesta was so much fun! The only bad things about it, I guess, was that the hotel was probably not ready at all for a convention of that magnitude. Apparently they'd switched to a larger hotel than in years past, but the one we ended up at hadn't hosted a large convention in about a decade and some of the amenities were... less than stellar. The escalators and elevators went out of commission several times, and the Corral was a pain to walk to, completely out of the way down a dark hallway. Plus, they took a day and a half to actually deliver ice...
The other major problem was that 18 seats for an Artist Alley was way too small a number for the amount of folks who wanted to sell things. I didn't manage to get a seat the entire time, and even folks like
donryu and 
karno were fighting over spots! So I didn't end up selling a single thing, although I managed to trade sketches with 
and 
, and got a sketch from Donryu and 
wolfkidd...
Also, I'm so glad I met up with everyone <3 My roomies were great, and I ended up making a few new friends and meeting folks I didn't expect to see there! (shout out to
Seamen, 
muddyness, 
shenanigans, donryu, and 
onnanoko!!) I participated in the Iron Artist, Art Jam and Fetish panels, and folks seemed to really enjoy my drawings - if I had a dollar for everytime someone told me "YOU DRAW SO SMALL BUT SO DETAILED" I wouldn't need to open commissions! xD
I also had a teeny bag of gemstones I'd dug up over the years and handed them out to folks who wanted them. Aventurine, Fluorite, Quartz, Amethyst, Olivine, Kyanite... I even had a few teeny sapphires and garnets! Those seemed to interest folks. :-P
Man, I wish I hadn't had to leave early on Sunday... I'd have liked to have stayed for the whole thing! It almost seems like a dream now that I look back at it. It was SUCH a blast even with all the frustrations! I'd definitely go again.
That being said I discovered there's actually some con in Knoxville, TN, which is probably the closest con I'll ever get unless I move somewhere else xD So maybe that'll end up being a goal for me! Who knows!
:3
The other major problem was that 18 seats for an Artist Alley was way too small a number for the amount of folks who wanted to sell things. I didn't manage to get a seat the entire time, and even folks like
donryu and 
karno were fighting over spots! So I didn't end up selling a single thing, although I managed to trade sketches with 
and 
, and got a sketch from Donryu and 
wolfkidd...So that being said xD I want to open commissions later this week! I'll think on pricing but it'll be about five slots or so, with payment due when the sketches are finished...Also, I'm so glad I met up with everyone <3 My roomies were great, and I ended up making a few new friends and meeting folks I didn't expect to see there! (shout out to
Seamen, 
muddyness, 
shenanigans, donryu, and 
onnanoko!!) I participated in the Iron Artist, Art Jam and Fetish panels, and folks seemed to really enjoy my drawings - if I had a dollar for everytime someone told me "YOU DRAW SO SMALL BUT SO DETAILED" I wouldn't need to open commissions! xDI also had a teeny bag of gemstones I'd dug up over the years and handed them out to folks who wanted them. Aventurine, Fluorite, Quartz, Amethyst, Olivine, Kyanite... I even had a few teeny sapphires and garnets! Those seemed to interest folks. :-P
Man, I wish I hadn't had to leave early on Sunday... I'd have liked to have stayed for the whole thing! It almost seems like a dream now that I look back at it. It was SUCH a blast even with all the frustrations! I'd definitely go again.
That being said I discovered there's actually some con in Knoxville, TN, which is probably the closest con I'll ever get unless I move somewhere else xD So maybe that'll end up being a goal for me! Who knows!
:3
GOIN' TO TEXAS FURRY FIESTA
Posted 11 years agoYeah, I'm flying out to Houston DALLAS on Thursday, paid for by an incredibly kind and generous friend, and I'm hoping to be staked out at Artist Alley at least one of the days to doodle in people's sketchbooks for money. Whatever I can make is gonna be what I can afford to spend on next month's gem and mineral show, so I've got quite a lot of hopes riding on this... this will be my first ever furry con, so I don't quite know what to expect! I'm just filled with anticipation, though... it hardly seems real that this weekend I'm gonna be halfway across the country!
I hope folks don't mind that I'm posting pictures of gems and minerals. I'm trying to stagger them so no inbox gets flooded, but if that happens then I'm sorry. x) Since I'm working on getting together a few references to show off at Artist's Alley I won't have anything to post this week, and I just figured gemstones might fill the void. :>
And yes, in case you are wondering, there WILL be a Rykela fursuit there.
I just won't be in it. xD
The friend who's flying me out there is an avid suiter, and I gave them permission to have a suit created because they really liked Rykela. So I'll be around the con, just not in suit; keep that in mind if you wanna give Rykela or me a hug!
I'll be rooming with
Padunk
swiftjames
fangthewolf
rydell382, it seems like, if anyone is curious.
I hope folks don't mind that I'm posting pictures of gems and minerals. I'm trying to stagger them so no inbox gets flooded, but if that happens then I'm sorry. x) Since I'm working on getting together a few references to show off at Artist's Alley I won't have anything to post this week, and I just figured gemstones might fill the void. :>
And yes, in case you are wondering, there WILL be a Rykela fursuit there.
I just won't be in it. xD
The friend who's flying me out there is an avid suiter, and I gave them permission to have a suit created because they really liked Rykela. So I'll be around the con, just not in suit; keep that in mind if you wanna give Rykela or me a hug!
I'll be rooming with
Padunk
swiftjames
fangthewolf
rydell382, it seems like, if anyone is curious.Digging for Limonite!
Posted 11 years agoHere is where I went last year in February. If the snow melts (it's still coming down as I type xD, about three to four inches so far), then I'm going again on Saturday. Wish me luck! :3
Yes, I'm in the video. Have fun figuring out what Rykela looks like IRL. xD
The LEGO Movie, Color Testing, and Rykela's Penis Ability
Posted 11 years agoSo I went to see the LEGO Movie today, and it was everything I thought it would be. Everything was AWESOME. My sister saw it with me, and she could care less about LEGOs, but she was almost crying with laughter, and told me she wanted to get a DVD of it when it comes out and watch it again. If it doesn't earn kid's movie of the year I'm gonna be so unbelievably pissed. It's obvious a lot of love and smarts went into the writing, the story, and the animation. It's glorious.
On an unrelated note, I took an online Color IQ Test! And while you can't link to results, I screencapped them... I did better than I thought! I guess I'm meant to be an artist. xD
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....816064/photo/1
Oh, and while we're on the subject of tests... x3
http://en.inkei.net/Rykela
http://en.inkei.net/tits/Rykela G-Cup? Not bad...
Both ended up on the larger side of things, which is about what I'd expect, given Rykela's species. x3
On an unrelated note, I took an online Color IQ Test! And while you can't link to results, I screencapped them... I did better than I thought! I guess I'm meant to be an artist. xD
https://twitter.com/Rykela0/status/.....816064/photo/1
Oh, and while we're on the subject of tests... x3
http://en.inkei.net/Rykela
http://en.inkei.net/tits/Rykela G-Cup? Not bad...
Both ended up on the larger side of things, which is about what I'd expect, given Rykela's species. x3
Roller Coaster Tycoon 3
Posted 11 years agoExcuse me while I go waste several hours fooling around with theme parks. xDDDDD
Here I am
Posted 12 years agoRIP Pete Seeger
Posted 12 years agoNY Times
I honestly don't feel much like doing anything today. This bit of bad news has sapped the life out of me. x)
Rest easy, Pete, you've earned it.
A Clarification: My Feelings Regarding RPing and Chatting
Posted 12 years agoI'll try to lay this out in a way that's easy to read and covers all the main points (though FA formatting leaves a hella lot to be desired, but here's the thing:
1.) I've complained about this before... What with a busy schedule of classes over at the college, and what looks like a homework-intensive semester, my free time tends to be very, very limited.
So, with all of those things competing for my free time, I'm hard-pressed. I can choose to draw, I can choose to play video games, I can choose to RP, but it's impossible for me to choose more than one at a time.
2.) I'm honestly... my home life is really turbulent right now. I'm not depressed, but I'm right on the verge of it, and money is a constant issue. I've also had a few things come up between my parents and I that've made our relationship strained, and school continues to be a headache. Participating in the fandom is becoming less and less important to me, and honestly if I could just post artwork without being expected to talk to anyone I'd actually go for it. Drawing is no fun when it feels forced, and it's the same with communicating online.
3.) Whether it's because I'm in the mood to do something else, or because I honestly am in a miserable mood because life's shit on me that day or I've had a mood swing, oftentimes I choose to appear "offline" to everyone. I've had troubles before with being accosted by folks wanting to play as soon as I appeared to log in. I don't know whether it's because they didn't have a job, or because they weren't in school, or what, but they had a huge amount of free time that I didn't have, and there'd sometimes be problems because I wasn't able to dissaude them from RPing with me. I thought I'd gotten rid of the problem once because I purged my old YIM account and switched e-mails, but I'm beginning to see the problem crop up again, as well as folks who message me at odd hours wanting to chat when I'm unable or in the mood.
4.) I realize that I may seem like an enormous jerk because I accidentally or otherwise ignore or avoid talking to people online, and that's partially my fault. Sometimes when I make friends with people, I've underestimated what I need to contribute to make up a positive relationship, and it's not fair for anyone to be treated like I've treated others. It partially is to blame on my constant mental issues as well, though, and IRL concerns, and I can't help those at all. When you wake up one morning and you're so cripplingly depressed you don't even want to get out of bed, it's hard to even think about talking to anyone else.
5.) So... I guess... I don't know how to break this gently, but... well... here is part of my solution.
I am going to make a list of certain close friends of mine who I feel are important enough to me to keep on my contact lists. Everybody else is going to be deleted. There'll be no begging or persuading to be kept on the list, so don't bother - I'm making the decision without anyone's input. Not being on the list doesn't mean you aren't my friend - it's just sort of an "inner circle" or "family," for lack of a better term, and if you and I are able to kindle a close enough relationship over time, you'll be able to get on it, too. But I'm not gonna do this whole "adding acquaintances to Skype and Steam" anymore, since it seems to be considered permission to aggressively hit on me, and I'm sick of everyone expecting RPs from me.
6.) In addition, from this point on, I want folks to understand that it's very unlikely that you're ever going to play with me. Even if you're a close friend, I hardly ever feel really "yiffy" or playful anymore. Life's just... it's just too shitty for me to be happy. As it is I'm lucky I have enough bright moments to continue posting to FA, and if you've been following my Tumblr you've seen how my postings really dropped off lately. I just don't have the enthusiasm for much of anything, save for things I really don't have to put much thought into like video games and the like.
7.) There are a few people (I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are) who I've really treated like shit over the years. I haven't done it out of hate, but I haven't been as good and faithful of a friend as I should have been... and I don't see in the future that my life is going to improve, and I doubt that my habits are going to improve either. I think it's just best we call it off... we'd pretty much done that already, haven't we? I'm sorry, though, for what it's worth.
If you guys have any... like, questions or anything... ask away. I'm sure there's lots I haven't been able to write, 'cause there's a bunch I want to say but can't find the words for.
tl;dr
My life is going through another shitty period again.
I can't RP, draw, and relax in what little free time I get from school and RL concerns.
So I'm choosing not to RP. Deal with it.
I'm going to be paring down my contacts list.
Don't befriend me expecting to play with me constantly, or ask to be adopted expecting RPs every other day.
This shouldn't have needed to be said again after the first massive fuckstorm but apparently I overestimated furries
I'm sorry for being a jerkass, everyone. Life's decided to fuck me over but my behavior didn't help matters. I'm partially to blame, and if you don't want to forgive me that's okay. I'm just... putting this here, because it needs to be said.
1.) I've complained about this before... What with a busy schedule of classes over at the college, and what looks like a homework-intensive semester, my free time tends to be very, very limited.
Firstly, I feel very pressured to produce a steady stream of artwork and uploads. IMHO, it's unfair, but there are other artists who for whatever reason are able to produce several pieces a week. I simply can't do that, and especially because mine are just sketches, as a consequence I guess I feel... inferior? That might be the best way of putting it. I didn't really start out viewing it as a competition to get viewers and faves and comments, but FA is structured in a way so that it's very easy for someone with (I guess I have) a bit of an inferiority complex to get really frustrated with themselves. I really don't see any reason for drawing - it's really no fun anymore, I don't dare do it for money because I can't do it at a quick enough pace, and I guess the finished product isn't good enough for a lot of folks. That issue is for a whole 'nother journal, though, I'll save for later. It ain't going anywhere.
Secondly, in addition to the constant (admittedly self-inflicted) pressure of artwork needing to be finished, I want to spend a little of my time simply relaxing, most often through video games. I spend a lot of time on TF2, although I play a number of other things.
Third, are also IRL things like driving to local places, although with money as it is for me nowadays that's a much rarer occasion. But when it comes up, I take it.
Lastly, I can choose to roleplay. Now, I'm the kind of roleplayer who posts upwards of a paragraph and a half at a time, and whenever I get started it's very difficult for me to simply cut it off. I find it hard to say "no," so on the days which I end up playing with friends, I almost always find myself burning up seven to eight hours on Skype or elsewhere before I even know it.So, with all of those things competing for my free time, I'm hard-pressed. I can choose to draw, I can choose to play video games, I can choose to RP, but it's impossible for me to choose more than one at a time.
2.) I'm honestly... my home life is really turbulent right now. I'm not depressed, but I'm right on the verge of it, and money is a constant issue. I've also had a few things come up between my parents and I that've made our relationship strained, and school continues to be a headache. Participating in the fandom is becoming less and less important to me, and honestly if I could just post artwork without being expected to talk to anyone I'd actually go for it. Drawing is no fun when it feels forced, and it's the same with communicating online.
3.) Whether it's because I'm in the mood to do something else, or because I honestly am in a miserable mood because life's shit on me that day or I've had a mood swing, oftentimes I choose to appear "offline" to everyone. I've had troubles before with being accosted by folks wanting to play as soon as I appeared to log in. I don't know whether it's because they didn't have a job, or because they weren't in school, or what, but they had a huge amount of free time that I didn't have, and there'd sometimes be problems because I wasn't able to dissaude them from RPing with me. I thought I'd gotten rid of the problem once because I purged my old YIM account and switched e-mails, but I'm beginning to see the problem crop up again, as well as folks who message me at odd hours wanting to chat when I'm unable or in the mood.
4.) I realize that I may seem like an enormous jerk because I accidentally or otherwise ignore or avoid talking to people online, and that's partially my fault. Sometimes when I make friends with people, I've underestimated what I need to contribute to make up a positive relationship, and it's not fair for anyone to be treated like I've treated others. It partially is to blame on my constant mental issues as well, though, and IRL concerns, and I can't help those at all. When you wake up one morning and you're so cripplingly depressed you don't even want to get out of bed, it's hard to even think about talking to anyone else.
5.) So... I guess... I don't know how to break this gently, but... well... here is part of my solution.
I am going to make a list of certain close friends of mine who I feel are important enough to me to keep on my contact lists. Everybody else is going to be deleted. There'll be no begging or persuading to be kept on the list, so don't bother - I'm making the decision without anyone's input. Not being on the list doesn't mean you aren't my friend - it's just sort of an "inner circle" or "family," for lack of a better term, and if you and I are able to kindle a close enough relationship over time, you'll be able to get on it, too. But I'm not gonna do this whole "adding acquaintances to Skype and Steam" anymore, since it seems to be considered permission to aggressively hit on me, and I'm sick of everyone expecting RPs from me.
6.) In addition, from this point on, I want folks to understand that it's very unlikely that you're ever going to play with me. Even if you're a close friend, I hardly ever feel really "yiffy" or playful anymore. Life's just... it's just too shitty for me to be happy. As it is I'm lucky I have enough bright moments to continue posting to FA, and if you've been following my Tumblr you've seen how my postings really dropped off lately. I just don't have the enthusiasm for much of anything, save for things I really don't have to put much thought into like video games and the like.
7.) There are a few people (I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are) who I've really treated like shit over the years. I haven't done it out of hate, but I haven't been as good and faithful of a friend as I should have been... and I don't see in the future that my life is going to improve, and I doubt that my habits are going to improve either. I think it's just best we call it off... we'd pretty much done that already, haven't we? I'm sorry, though, for what it's worth.
If you guys have any... like, questions or anything... ask away. I'm sure there's lots I haven't been able to write, 'cause there's a bunch I want to say but can't find the words for.
tl;dr
My life is going through another shitty period again.
I can't RP, draw, and relax in what little free time I get from school and RL concerns.
So I'm choosing not to RP. Deal with it.
I'm going to be paring down my contacts list.
Don't befriend me expecting to play with me constantly, or ask to be adopted expecting RPs every other day.
This shouldn't have needed to be said again after the first massive fuckstorm but apparently I overestimated furries
I'm sorry for being a jerkass, everyone. Life's decided to fuck me over but my behavior didn't help matters. I'm partially to blame, and if you don't want to forgive me that's okay. I'm just... putting this here, because it needs to be said.
=_=
Posted 12 years agoI hope this isn't like the LAST TIME everybody left FA, because having to check multiple sites just to see if anybody's posted anything new is an enormous pain. Sofurry is like the NC State of the Big Three furry websites and I'm spectacularly hesitant about Weasyl because Monglor/Donro is known to be buddy-buddy with their admins and their ToS doesn't take into consideration off-site harrassment or trolling...
God Dragoneer why'd you have to go and give the admin slot to that guy based on his popularity alone?
God Dragoneer why'd you have to go and give the admin slot to that guy based on his popularity alone?
I HAVE A MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIGHTY NEED
Posted 12 years agoMondays
Posted 12 years agoughhhhhhhh
I think I may have gotten something from others in my family. My nose has been alternately stopped up and running all weekend, and I just feel so stuffy and tired and bleh...
On top of that, I left my car keys at a friend's, so that's super frustrating, and since my folks have been sick there's been nobody to make a run to the grocery store. This happens from time to time and it really pisses me off 'cause there's nothing to eat or drink in the house and I have no money to go for a burger or anything. I guess with all of that, plus I've just kind of been in a miserable mood since last week... well, all I wanna do is sleep. -_- I have to push myself even to doodle, much less draw anything of worth.
Classes don't seem too difficult so far, though. Seems like this time around, I have Thursdays as my days off...
I think I may have gotten something from others in my family. My nose has been alternately stopped up and running all weekend, and I just feel so stuffy and tired and bleh...
On top of that, I left my car keys at a friend's, so that's super frustrating, and since my folks have been sick there's been nobody to make a run to the grocery store. This happens from time to time and it really pisses me off 'cause there's nothing to eat or drink in the house and I have no money to go for a burger or anything. I guess with all of that, plus I've just kind of been in a miserable mood since last week... well, all I wanna do is sleep. -_- I have to push myself even to doodle, much less draw anything of worth.
Classes don't seem too difficult so far, though. Seems like this time around, I have Thursdays as my days off...
