As the title says im really wanting to find the right artist for a commission I have been looking at getting for some time. The tricky bit is that I need an artist that can draw cars, and I mean accuractly enough to b able to recreate a specific car, as well as being very good at muscled male characters. If anyone can help and suggest an artist that might be able to do this please suggest below!

I know the elections tomorrow and everything but for the love of god give me a break, im not feeling well and i just dont want to be bothered with politics for a few hours before i goto bed! Can people please not shove their own ideology down my throat for just over an hour? please? i beg you all!

Oh and BTW i am actually bothering to vote tomorrow so its not as if i dont give a shit, i just dont want to talk about it right now, go shout at the people who cant even be bothered to vote, at least im doing something.

Just because its rare for me to change icon i decided to make a journal...that and i got nothing else happening.

BUT! they are super cute and awesome and you should go and get one from my very good friend  sashadobie Shes charging just $1 USD for them, email her at SashaDobie@gmail.com....i demand you go do it right away...go on...go!

Now that ive submitted 2 original pieces and with a 3rd on the way, does that leave me as a doodler or could i say im a fledgling artist?

Just a list to remind myself more then anything of the work i have incoming shortly.

 ga-be - 2x Sketches
 maneater - 1x 2 character adult picture
 kappy 1x 2 character picture

Ive had many friends say to me of the feats they have endured or performed to comfort a friend that was upset or depressed, showing how much they care and telling how they will do anything they can to help their friend feel better...but from what i have seen from pretty much every single person i know, is that its all complete bullshit.

As some of you know ive not exactly had things going my way as of late, ive had alot of trouble, personally and financially, it got so bad i even made a journal about it to vent some of my feelings, and i was quite happy to see that some people i know took the time to post a reply, or text me or something to show they was hoping id feel better....but still the vast majority of people i know (either on here or my LJ, and that i know are avid users of both and wouldnt miss it) did nothing. While saying they would do anything to help me if i was down, they couldn't even spare the few moments it takes to post a message that might show they was thinking of me and that might lift my spirits for a while. Now i may be too harsh and not expect people to put such an effort in, and i didnt expect many when i posted it. But yet when i talked to them on the phone or over messengers, people still dont seem to give a shit, they go quiet, change subject or just totally ignore it...now i know its not exactly fun to speak to someone whos on the edge of doing something stupid, but part of friendship, a crucial part, is picking someone up when they are down, little gestures that when you feel like no one cares, mean the world. I think all this has just shown me how few friends i really have. aside from maybe one person, no one offered to come see me or meet me for a drink or anything. Not one person put in any effort even if i had done the same for them in the past. It jsut goes to show how self centred people can be, they all like to talk the talk, pretend that they are some amazing friend who values others over themselves, but when it comes down to it your pretty much guaranteed to be alone, people take, they never want to give.

I feel like ive hit a slump to put it nicely, nothing seems to be going my way, i keep getting turned down by jobs and i feel like my friends are slowly abandoning me, i realise how few people seem to be willing to make any effort or to even give a shit about me, all i get is people getting annoyed that im not as happy as they are, no one trying to cheer me up or god forbid make and effort to see me or even talk to me any more, and to make matters worse everyone always seems to be having a great time, constantly. I feel like im struggling to even get people to return messages or texts and its extremely demoralising.

Add ontop of that with no job prospects here, i cant afford to renew my rental agreement so im going to be moving back home which is something taht gets me down even more as it just seems like if failed on about everything.

With that stuff out the way, i finally feel im ready to properly start seeing someone or something...i dont know but im feeling extremely lonely most of the time, i miss having someone close to me. There are people i like but i know its not mutual, instead all i have to do is sit there, being friendly as they talk about who they like or who they are dating and its extremely hard to deal with. I keep trying to force myself to not get my hopes up because like always they get dashed.

Im really at a loss what to do anymore, i spent almost all day, ever day looking for work, and when thats exhausted i sit at home, wishing someone would express any interest in convosation or try to kill my mind with an endless stream of crappy tv or games.

I dont like to give emo rants or posts but ive not felt this bad for many years and its all getting worse and crumbling down.

By the powers that be, enforced by a ram i am forced to place this here for all to see and participate in

.....but a note im restricting it to people ive met in person and/or know well, i cant do it for people i barely know ;)

Just say something on this journal and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours

First off as a notice i wont be online for the next week or two, or as long as it takes to get the internet out our new place.

But today is the start of a very busy day but im feeling pretty positive if not alittle apprehensive heh, So the plan is as follows:

- Make a buttload of calls and get things as sorted as possible before 5pm
- 6pm pick up the van and drive upto preston and drink
- Get up at 7am and load the van with all pinkys junk
- Drive down to our new flat and visit the Letting agents to sign all the paperwork and give away a ton of money
- Move pinkys stuff in
- Drive back to my home and load up my stuff
- Take all that to the new flat
- Drive to IKEA or other such places to buy some essentials
- Return the van by 6pm
- Get home and collapse, start drinking and playing mad amounts of guitar hero

..Well that should be a fun couple days. but we should be mostly sorted by the end of the weekend!

I took the very hard decision to leave my current boyfriend this weekend, things were not going too well for me and i realised im just not ready for a relationship right now...i feel terrible about leaving such a wonderful guy and hurting him, i just hope he can forgive me, id urge anyone who knows him to give him your support, hes a good guy :)

But aside from that, i am currently filling in an application for the Thames Valley police that i have to send off at the end of this month, and hopefully begins the long 6 month process of selection.

As some of you may know, im off to visit  Redfoxgt for a few weeks, means i wont really be around on MSN or on here too often, Get to Spend Valentines day with my Foxx, and thrown in the same week is both mine and his birthdays, it should be a very fun few weeks! :D

Ill answer any notes or comments when i get back!

I updated my profile recently with news of my new mate  redfoxgt, the sweetheart he is, he asked me out on new years eve and made this wolf extremely happy :) I love you jasper ^_^