Since it's constantly people attacking other people's kinks on here I want to just say a few things.

1) Just walk away, it's not fucking hard to ignore kinks you don't like, Just ignore it, jesus.

2) When I see people doing kinks I don't like, like chastity, or pup play, or anything basically. I can still encourage it and help people have fun. It's shocking, I can get 0 enjoyment out of something, and NOT get mad that someone else is having fucking fun.

I'm just making it known to everyone I'm really thinking of just disconnecting from the whole world, face book, all messengers, everything, and go live as a fucking hermit in the woods at this point because of the shear amount of disrespect I face on a daily basis from EVERYONE in my life and I can't genuinely take it anymore.

So as a lot of people know in 2022 I had a heart attack and went into a coma, since then, certain times I will get indigestion, that feel exactly 100% like having a heart attack, no hyperbole, no I'm being a drama queen, full stop, the pain is equal to, and feels exactly like, level, where it's at, and everything, is exactly the fucking same as having a heart attack.

Last night I went through that incident of indigestion, after eating Jalapenos, and I was up until 8am vomiting green bile until the peppers came out and the pain subsided, but while I'm naked writhing on the floor of my bathroom, in a pain that genuinely feels like my heart has stopped, having experienced that, and again, not hyperbolic, that it felt like that. I got told I'm being an asshole and not understanding someone fucking else for saying no to a favor, then when asking for the day off work, Mondays being my day off, told that no one else could do my job, and I needed to suck it up, even though I said "it feels like I'm having a heart attack right now. I can't come in on my day off."

This has been going on since I got out of rehab and was able to walk again for the first time in 4 months. The second I was able to do stuff for myself, without assistance, I was hoisted onto a roof and made to clean it, then I was shipped 3 hours away and told I had to clean a garage that people couldn't walk in. I have been told to do for everyone, every second of everyday of my life, and my "vacation" was me shitting my pants because I can't get out of bed without falling into a wall, and not able to even shower myself, and learning all those skills again because I didn't have the muscle to take care of myself.

But yet, the second I regained any independence, I pushed through all that bullshit, I have been expected to instantly help other people, without taking a second to sit and breath and help myself. and when I ask for that reprieve I'm berated and treated like a piece of shit and a horrible monster for wanting to not wake up and spend 7 hours cleaning the kitchen while working a 45 hour work week, plus an extra 4 hours on my day off. I'm the fucking jackass because when I make 4 pizzas from scratch, the kitchen is spotless, and I am not doing "enough" because my roomie who used every pot and pan in the house to make a BOWL of mac and cheese didn't do their dishes and it's my "responsibility" to do that. I am berated and degraded for doing chores around the house, but then told I'm a jackass for not doing the chores around the house. I'm constantly being barraged by how I have to silent work as a fucking gremlin in the shadows to make life work for other people, but I am not allowed to be seen doing any of the chores, and I could very well as much die on the ground, and people keep telling me I'm not doing enough for them, and when I'm dead people just moving onto the next person.

I'm sick of this existence, I'm sick of this mortal coil. I can't do anything, not a single goddamn thing in this world, without being the jackass, and yet I'm the laziest, most uncaring person at the same time.

I'm not asking a lot from people right now, I'm asking to be left alone when I cook, and not to depend on me for every little thing, and the fact I have refused to want to do anything for anyone else while In the throws of pain that feel like a heart attack I'm just being asked favors of and getting berated and penalized for saying no is fucking absurd to me, I have not slept the last 2 weekends I've had, I have not had a single second of free time on my last 2 weekends, and I have not had any enjoyment that is just for myself in years without me having to throw a tantrum like a goddamn fucking toddler and piss everyone off before people take me fucking seriously. and I'm just drained.

I can't keep moving on like this, and I genuinely am sick of it being it not being something I have control over. It is literally one of those "it's not my fault" moments and I know people deflect and blame others for these kind of problems, but I admit it's my fault for drinking too much for my health being the way it is, I'm eating better, exercising, being cleaner and better of a person in that regard, I'm making improvements where I can for that, but the fact, that I have to bend over fucking backwards for people while I feel like I'm fucking dying, and when I say no, and get berated for it, I'm so done. It's a lack of empathy on everyone I come across part, feeling that it is necessary to milk every ounce of energy from me to the point where I'm a husk left over. and when I can't continue to give anymore, I'm an asshole for not giving enough. I haven't slept in 2 weeks, and me saying I need the space I need the time to even just sleep and being told that's selfish is just... I can't anymore.

Lost a bunch of my old art over the lsat few decades, but uploaded all I was able to save.

Profile is now updated, feel free to check it out, didn't do much but it's something.

I've been trying to get my life back in somewhat normal order.
Back in October, I passed out in the bathtub with swollen legs, filled with Fluid, I was at 256lbs at the time, and upon regaining consciousness, I went into the hospital, Throwing up all the way there. they had me stay overnight for observation.
My kidney's had shut down causing the retention of fluid in my legs, brought on due to an infection, and my organs shut down that night.

I had gone into a coma for 2 days and came to Tuesday, I was hospitalized on a saturday. I was in the hospital two weeks, and upon waking up, after only 2 days I had gone down to 207lbs.

I have been trying to get everything back into order and make sense of everything going on in my life since then, and just a lot has been going on.

I apologize for not being myself for the last several months, but I am trying to make sense of everything.

Within 24 hours I'm gonna just delete all my profiles and social media, I don't care anymore.

Merry Christmas everybody who celebrates it, and hope everyone else who celebrates different Holidays has enjoyed theirs as well, and is having a good season.

My Birthday is next week, so just been dropping a link to my steam wishlist, don't care if anyone gets me anything, just thought I'd put it out there.

https://store.steampowered.com/wish.....ris#sort=order

Hope you all the best!

I'm bored today, and get off work at 9pm. would anyone be interested in it if I were? link to twitter poll. https://twitter.com/MickeyTankBank1.....580182528?s=20

Not to sound emo, at all, because I know people post this shit just for attention. I know I have friends but been depressed for 2 days, and just need someone to talk to today.

I need a few bucks, just about $10, so offering psychic readings, $5 a question. e-mail reading, full paragraph per question. Please help a bro out?

We are going to lose power tomorrow unless we pay $300. I have 60 bucks, but need to raise about another 250 to cover it, please help, I'm crying and stressed out, I didnt want to make this move in the first place and now I'm getting fucked over. https://ko-fi.com/X8X35Z0L

$5 for a 1 question dm reading, sneed 15 bucks in the next hour, and will get you the answers tonight. hmu asap and i will get back to you quickly.

not freaking out or anything, just letting pwople know Tele is down and its not just youth. thw companies official twitter is updating fairly regularly about their status and are working on it.

OMG! I want people to stop abusing fish!

Like so mad I can't even begin why I hate how people treat fish!

Just...

URG!