I'm not going to do a bullet-point recap of 2019 cause all it will accomplish is putting me in a bad mood. It was a dumpster fire, and I'm happy it's over.

I do apologize however, for the lack of Art. I think I needed a break, so I'm going to start fresh in 2020. Plus I have my new Samsung tablet, so I'm not chained to my desk anymore when I want to draw.

Thanks to my friends, new and old, for being there for me when I needed them.

Here's to a good 2020.

So, just a little life update. I've finally recovered from the shock of loosing Ozzy. I appreciate those that reached out to me with words of kindness.

I did end up adopting a kitten recently. I didn't expect to adopt a kitten so soon, but I fell in love with her the instant I first saw her. Her name is Alice.

https://twitter.com/redrock963/stat.....74271543709697

She is a happy little kitten. So full of energy, but also loves to cuddle and has powerful purr motor. She's getting along well with my other cats too, sans the one that hates other cats.

One of my most beloved cats passed away this week, and that kicked me in the metaphorical nuts.

I'm through the worst of it. Time will heal this wound eventually, it just sucks because it came out of nowhere.

I'm ok. I've had multiple people reach out to me and offer a shoulder to cry on

If you have a pet, just take the time after reading this to go seek it out and hug/pet/tell it you love it. I'm partial to cats, but I really love all animals. It sucks having to say goodbye to a pet, so love them as much as you can, while you can. I'm just happy we live in a time now where pets are considered family members and get the respect and love they deserve.

Ok. Emotions were running pretty high last week. So sorry to have worried everyone. I just had to word-vomit all that shit out.

I feel 100% better, and I appreciate the friends that reached out to me to help out.

I wish I could create more time in the day to work on art, but unfortunately, my Japanese studies are taking priority right now. Uploads will be slow. I'm gonna try my best to at least to work on some art a week, even if it's just sketching that I never show.

I have to admit, that aspect is frustrating, but worth it in the end because of our trip in September. I cannot wait to go on this adventure with my husband, who's my best friend in the world.

I've also been making more strides on networking and becoming more social online. Trying to make new friends and the like. I think that's gone well too. I always get so nervous about putting myself out there, but I feel welcomed and I appreciate it so much.

All and all, things are looking much better. Just gotta roll with it sometimes!

So, it's now Spring 2019, and the one pic I've managed to finish (that was already on the backlog) I had to pull down for personal reasons (Please do not ask me why, I will ignore inquires about it)

I know things have been slow, but now I feel as though I'm taking steps backwards in my art progress.

How did it get this bad?

The very short answer is: Life is getting in the way.

The longer answer is a tangled sweater of frustration, Drama, taking up new projects, and personal issues.

Frustration: No matter what I do, I can't help but shake this feeling that people wouldn't walk across the street to pee on my art even if it's on fire. I don't know if it's my high anxiety, or if there is a legit amount of truth to it. It just feels like no matter how much I try, what I draw, or where I post it to, I can't get people to pay attention to my work. I have all but given up on trying to play the "Post at a certain time on Instagram to get the most views" game I was playing last year. Now, I GET this isn't a popularity contest, and I shouldn't let it bother me. I tell myself this pretty much every day. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm that tree that fell in a forest that no one heard. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does, and I just have to remember to keep trying. That's all I can really do without putting my art on a sign and beating people with it while screaming "YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME"

Internet Drama Not gonna elaborate. Last year was just a mess of Livejournal-like proportions and I'll leave it at that.

New Projects I am taking a trip to Japan in September. This means I have 6 months to get a grasp on Japanese. This is involving hours of studying every night, which is cutting into my already limited free-time. Unfortunately, art is having to take a back burner. I -HAVE- to learn this in 6 months or I'm going to be in a world of hurt. This isn't a bad thing, because I've wanted to take on Japanese for a while. I want to be able to buy import games and not have to be so reliant on fan translations anymore. It's going to pay off, I'm just upset that it's coming at the expense of my main hobby.

Personal Issues Depression is the boss that never dies, you just get it down to one hit point and it goes away for a while. Well, this fucker must have found a supply of Elixirs somewhere and has been freebasing them, because my GOD it hasn't been going and staying away for long. Related to an issue above, I found myself saying to myself "You'll never be anyone's favorite artist" and I'm like.... where the FUCK did this come from? That one kept me down for several weeks, and it still keeps popping up. Then it brings up other shit, like how I miss my dad, how I miss my cat, what's going to happen to me if my husband ever dies, and other dark fucking shit I can't get into. Sometimes the only thing I can do to keep the fucker in its closet at 1 HP where it belongs is to play video games to get my mind off of it.

Final Fantasy XIV Without the long story, I broke up with WoW, because their devs really pissed me off recently. MMOs tend to be my security blanket when I'm REALLY having an anxiety episode. So I started an FFXIV account to help. Because it's a brand new pretty world, I've been kind of hooked on it.

So yeah. So yeah, had to get this shit off of my chest. I want to do more art, and I have a million ideas. Sometimes, it's just REALLY fucking difficult to get to the tablet. For those that do stick by me, thanks a bunch. I know I'm not the best artist or person, but I try. I just want put a smile on people's faces, because really, that's all I'm good at.

I now have a Redbubble account for anyone that wants stickers, pillows, mugs, and other cool things with Scott and Red on them!

https://www.redbubble.com/people/re.....963/shop?asc=u

I know I haven't submitted a lot in the past few months. I have been swamped at work and NEED to rest away from the computer in the evenings to stay sane. Unfortunately, my work is all digital now, so my art's had to take a break because of it. I plan on working more on it at the beginning of January. November and December are just never good months for me because of how mentally draining work is.

Just trying to pace myself so I don't burn out again.

It was interesting doing those two robot animal pictures. My brain tried to engineer how the robots would actually move and work. I learned how to draw robots WAYYYYYY back in the day because of the Sonic comics, and that kind of lead to my aesthetic and those images.

Not going to switch to becoming a mech artist any time soon, but it was an interesting a challenge.

I now have a Toyhouse Account.

https://toyhou.se/redrock963

I plan on submitting more than the main 4, I just need to sit down and draw them.

MAYBE I might do adopts in the future? Who knows. It'll depend on if I could use the money or not.