I joined this site nearly twenty years ago and it has been the gateway into a world which I am very greatful to be a part of.

Your hard work has been and will continue to be appreciated. I just hope that you are free from the pain you were going through.

I sincerely hope that this site continues to be supported because without it, there would be a fairly large hole in my life.

Rest easy.

It's been a while. Hope you all had a good holiday season.

I will keep this brief but I want to do more creative things. I want to post at least one piece of art per month, I am also looking at making new videos, continuing with photography and also doing more writing too. I will also be looking at opening commissions properly with a proper reference sheet soon. I just want to clear some things off first though so will post when that happens.

Hope you all have a good new year.

Something that is really urking me right now with the search in FA are people who either don't bother using keywords or people who abuse them. I have been shown some really great artwork that I haven't been able to find because the artist neglected to put any search terms into the box when submitting it. Meanwhile we have people who are putting keywords in that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject on their submissions and as a result, the search option is absolute garbage. It says a lot when I have to put in a paragraph of words I don't want to appear in the results after a term which I am interested in.

Starting to wonder if this place is even worth it anymore.

For anyone attenting ConFuzzled this year, I am running an amateur movie festival. For more information, please check out the website here: https://2019.confuzzled.org.uk/what.....ts/fuzz-focus/

I was hoping to post some artwork here but I haven't because I haven't done anything new. There are a few sketches here and there and a few completed pieces but it's not the way I had been intending to go. Even writing has not gone the way I had hoped, although I have managed to actually do some stories and plan others. I will try to post them soon.

To be honest, my time has been taken up with helping out at several furry cons. I am now staff at ConFuzzled and ScotiaCon and have been heavily involved with them as well as on crew for Just Fur The Weekend so my efforts have gone to my respective roles. I still don't have a job, still not sure what to do, trying to lose weight, sort my head out, still in the process of decluttering and selling stuff and just trying to get my life in order.

I have had a purge of accounts I watch on here as well as notifications. I got to over 21k art submissions (not including journals, comments etc) because I hadn't deleted many in about 3 years. Basically, anyone who hasn't posted here in at least a year, their recent stuff doesn't interest me, they have deactivated their account or have been banned have gone so we will see how that goes.

I am trying to organise myself better. I have a diary and am trying to use it to varying levels of success. I tried using the calendar function on my phone but stuff always seems to delete itself on there.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.

First off, hope every one has had a good holiday season no matter what you celebrate or don't. I also wish you all a happy 2019! Now, onto business.

I have tried writing this several times but it never came out the way I wanted it to. Sure, it's only a journal but at the same time these things are supposed to be a way of setting your head straight. So for those of you who don't know what's happened in the last year and a half since I posted here, this is the abridged version.

I quit my job. It wasn't making me happy anymore so I jacked it in. Problem was I didn't have anything to go into but I was lucky enough to get some odd jobs from friends to help keep me going. However, I really do need to get something in order. I know where I don't want to work and I have ideas about places I want to apply for but I have no idea what I could do. Again, I have ideas but there is nothing concrete like "I want to follow a career in IT."

Part of the reason for the delay in getting a job was because I wanted to take some time out to sort myself out. So there has been a cleanup of sorts happening where I am going through my belongings and selling, donating or binning them. At the same time, building work happened on the house which caused a lot of upheaval but now that's pretty much done and dusted.

One other thing I want to challenge myself with this year is doing something creative every day. It could be a sketch, writing something, doing photography work or editing a video. The thing I would like to be able to look back on from this year is a vast body of work from all kinds of different media, or perhaps I find an area I want to build my skills up in and really improve.

One of these is something that I have struggled with for a long time. Digital artwork. I have a Wacom Bamboo tablet and have a few art programs but never managed to make it click. I will attempt it again but I like to see the lines I am drawing coming from the pen rather than looking at a screen and having to use my hand eye co-ordination.

I have already made a video for a car group I am a part of and finished a short story for a friend which I will adapt and post here possibly. I have been wondering about posting my photography here if people are interested.

Anyway, that's all for now. If you want to keep up to date with stuff, Twitter is the best place for that. Search for RikMcCloud

Hopefully won't be so long before the next update. Until then, take care.

This weekend has been a strange one for me. I came face to face with my old life and realised not just how far I have grown from it but how much things have changed.

On Saturday, I went to an almost lifelong friend's wedding. As he stood there at the altar with his wife to be, memories flashed through my mind of the times we shared together. Memories from school, from when we went out or stayed in. Now was the beginning of a new chapter in his life and I began to scrutinise where I am and what I've done in my own.

The wedding was also a mass. I was brought up Catholic and had been to mass thousands of times growing up. Words had changed so my responses were different to everyone elses but not only that, I no longer felt comfortable reading and responding to what was printed and spoken. Our old priest was also there and he and I made eye contact. I just smiled and nodded but felt awkward. I have known him since I was a child. I stopped going to church around ten years ago due to family commitments and during that time no longer felt the need for religion in my life. I felt like I would need to give an explanation to him.

After things had concluded at the church, everyone made their way to the reception. None of my old school friends I had sat with really hung around to chat with me. I haven't kept in close contact with them but at the same time, the ones who were there have their own partners or arrangements. I came on my own and suddenly I was alone again.

As I drove from the church, I had this overwhelming sensation of familiarity and yet I felt that I no longer fitted in with it. My mind raced trying to make sense of these feelings of guilt, insecurity and a little bit of emotion. I couldn't face going to the reception feeling the way I did. With this, I went home, informed one of my friends I wasn't feeling well and would not be going to the reception.

I spoke to my mother for a long period of time about these things and a number of other issues on my mind. I also talked to a few friends I had met in our crazy little world known as the furry fandom. I was reassured that it was OK to feel this way and that I am following my heart and a path of my choosing.

On Sunday, I went to see two friends I had made in the fandom, one of whom had invited me to ConFuzzled three years ago. Back then, I saw the subculture as a double life. I never realised just how many people there are in the UK who are part of it. I never managed to come across them.

The reason I kept it to myself was because I was picked on for it during the latter part of my school years. This is where the old and new life of mine collided. I remember some of my peers going on the school computer I was using whilst I was out of the room and looked at my history after I checked some updates on DeviantArt. They didn't understand it and so decided to try to make fun of it. I remember one of them questioning me asking, "Who is Ruby the Mechanic?" That was a title of one of my submissions. I played ignorant and must have been convincing as luckily it died down quickly enough.

Regardless, this stuck with me for years and it wasn't until I had some hard evidence that it wasn't a strange quirk and that I wasn't the only one interested in it that I felt I could open up to a select few people and could enjoy it fully. I had met with people from the subculture before but seeing so many people at the convention, some of which I would never have guessed would be a part of it, legitimised everything. Since then, I have embraced it and got a group of friends I am incredibly lucky to have.

I recently had my car MOTed and noted how much my mileage had shot up without me realising. I am travelling more. I have met a large number of people with a common interest and I am having fun. I am lucky enough to be with a talented and creative group who make wonderful things, go out into the wider community to do good, put on fantastic shows for others or maintain a simple social gathering and all for the enjoyment of it.

This weekend made me realise that my course in life may have changed but that is far from a bad thing and in some respects, it's nice that I still have some connection to my old route. I can work on the communication but regardless, socially, I have never been better off than I am now.

This month has been the start of improving myself in a lot of aspects. The big three zero is less than two years away and I want to achieve a few things before then. I need to work out exactly what I want but with this new drive along with the love and support from so many people, I will succeed.

Thank you for reading.

I've woken up this morning feeling very run down. My mood dipped and when my family left the house, I burst into tears. All this time I was thinking why am I feeling like this? I shouldn't be because this week was a big step in the right direction.

For those who know me, you will remember that I have not been having the best time with my work place. I won't identify the profession I work in or name any companies or people. A lack of support, heavy reliance on me to do things because no one else knew or bothered to find out, a struggle to get answers when I needed them and when I did get them, they were never satisfactory and I would be asked to do it again, reaching out for help higher up and that help was barely acted upon all mixing in with a nagging sensation that I never fit in and with that led to loneliness. And that isn't everything.

But let's go back to the start to clarify all this. Two years ago, I was moved from one position into another in another part of the company. I was told it was because it would be a better move for me in that I was unhappy, which I was, but I have always felt there were other motives behind it. I was aware at the time there were a number of staff swaps and general restructuring at that part of the company was occurring so I honestly feel that was the main cause but it's never been confirmed. Not that it matters now.

I was kept hanging on and on for weeks until eventually I was told, "You're moving tomorrow." I got to the new site and was greeted with confusion as to what was going on. Nothing had been prepared for me. Hell, I don't even think they were expecting me to arrive. Immediately, warning bells were sounding in my head.

Eventually the role was worked out but further red flags appeared when the only firm promise that was made to me involving my salary was broken. I made sure this was fixed as promptly as possible, which it was and I got on with the job.

Compared to what I had been doing before, it felt menial. I grew tired of the constant thankless tasks. I got irritated with trying to organise the unorganised. There was hardly any job satisfaction there and before a year had passed, I was desperate to get out. An opportunity arose on that site that was similar to what I did before.

I put forward my interest in it and I got the role. I felt the step down I had taken was now rectified and I could keep going up with a career. Only that didn't happen. The manager I was now under only seemed interested in making sure things ticked over and whilst a few pieces of training were arranged, it was more to keep him out of trouble than to progress me forward. There had been misunderstandings in what one party expected of the other I was told.

I did what I could but when I was working 50 hours a week (including the breaks I wasn't paid for and was unable to take), never given proper praise or rewards for things that had been done well, scolded for tasks not done and asked to give up more of my free time to do things to catch up along with everything in one of the earlier paragraphs, I sank lower than I ever had done before.

My hands and feet had previously started showing signs of eczema but it got much worse. Friends noticed my character had changed. I worried that if I was not seen working in the department, the management would think I wasn't being effective with the time.

The manager who hired me left and another with basically no experience of my role came in. There was barely any effort made at a working connection and things went into free fall. I felt trapped, ignored and then, one day after a week away and I had a mountain of backlog that was urgently required to be finished, I broke. Months of stress and anxiety along with empty promises, lack of clarity and absolutely no support poured out in a flood of tears. The dam had been breaking but this was the moment it burst.

My friends outside of work had been the lifeline I needed in order to keep any form of sanity and were incredibly supportive. I cannot thank them enough for what they did for me during this time. One of them helped me get an interview at his work place. I succeeded in going through to a second interview but was not chosen for the role due to an aspect I had no control over. Others offered advice, chances to meet people but then something slightly unexpected happened.

My old manager had been made aware of everything that had happened and due to some changes in their department, they offered me a chance to go back to where I started. Back at the original site and the original role under them with finer details that made it a no brainer.

Unlike the move before, this one happened within a week and I started back on Wednesday. The relief of not having the stress anymore has been immediate. My hands and feet are healing now but my body is still adjusting to no longer having the huge weight on my shoulders anymore.

I was due to go out today but I needed to do this. I needed to make sense of the last two years and to give myself a chance to fully push the reset button. To those who have supported me, thank you once again.

This isn't the end and I am going to work on getting some more contacts in place in case things don't work out here. To be honest, having being here before and knowing the people, I am more prepared and even during the worst days, they were nowhere near as bad as what I have had to deal with, particularly during the last year.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I should probably do something with this page. Because somewhat of a lurker on this website and need to start creating content again.

What? It's been a year since I last posted anything and today is new years day? What a good time to start.

I am determined to make 2017 bigger and better, actually do things I promised to myself and to others.

Watch this space.

Hello again everyone,

Apologies for another lengthy amount of time between art and other things. Procrastination is a major part of the reason along with my job causing considerable irritation but I have been more active in terms of meeting furries face to face in the UK!

I have been attending LondonFurs meets, also have been to my first BirminghamFurs meet and as the title says, I crossed the border for the first time in Scotland for ScotiaCon! A completely different animal to ConFuzzled, it was a much more tightly knit convention with just over 150 attendees (including the small but amazing number of staff) and I found myself talking to and meeting a lot more people there than I ever did or could imagine doing so at ConFuzzled.

I wish I could have attended more of the events that were held but when you are relaxing with people who share so many common interests and with a bar not 5 seconds walk away... yeah, socialising is nice.

One event I did attend was the Eat Scotland panel and one of the items for trial is infamous. I am proud to say, I have eaten a deep fried Mars bar. It is pure filth and it is so wrong... but DAMN IT WAS GOOD! I regret nothing!

The way the chef prepared it was by freezing the Mars bars before deep frying them so they didn't melt as quickly and what resulted was something that smelt like a donut and tasted sweet but had that savoury taste of the batter. Seriously, for a one off treat, I really enjoyed it! Also am developing my taste for cider and Guinness. Not a bad thing.

Also, karaoke. Scatman John. I went there. :D

I found ScotiaCon was equally as enjoyable as ConFuzzled if not more so! This is because you never felt lost in the proceedings. So I would like to say a big thank you to all involved in the organisation of it and I will definitely be back again next year. I will also say without the talented and warm individuals I have had the pleasure of talking to, creating with and just having a great time, this year would have been a lot darker for me. I cannot thank you all enough for that.

Yes, I said creating with. Whilst I have been lazy when it comes to posting stuff, that doesn't mean I have been doing things behind the scenes. There is still a backlog I need to clear through and to those who have had endless patience with me, I really do appreciate it. I do not forget what I owe. Once I get some more of the works sorted, I haven't decided whether or not to just do a bulk upload or a couple of pieces a day at a time. Might well go with the latter so the people who have watched me (thank you!) don't get spammed with submissions.

If you wish to keep up to date with the weird and wonderful goings on regarding myself (why would you?), you can follow me on Twitter. This platform that at one stage held no interest for me has been a gateway to talking to so many new people. https://twitter.com/rikmccloud

That's all for now! Will see you all soon! :D

Do you know what hurts more than having your expectations being let down by something? Try having your lower than an ant's knee expectations matched.

It has been nearly 10 years since Nintendo produced a new Star Fox game and not some polished re-release of a game that had its day nearly 20 years ago. As you can imagine, with each year the company I grew to love during the GameCube era spoke no mention of my favourite franchise of theirs, my hopes for anything after Command (which never felt like a definitive end to the series) faded.

Then in 2014, after the desperate attempt to help the struggling 3DS get some titles into its meager library with an N64 port, it happened. News that Nintendo were working on a Star Fox Wii U title. But everything was being kept very secretive. At first, it seemed like an interesting concept to use the Wii U's touch screen controller as a view from the cockpit but when the motion control idea was mentioned, memories of sore arms, stiff necks and stretched backs from the Wii began to circle in my head.

Alarm bells began to ring when more of what little details began to emerge. You could turn off the motion controls or just switch the views from the controller to the TV. A pointless gimmick and it sounding like something the console desperately needed back in 2012 as a demo to prove what it could do. Then the length of development emerged. It had been in planning and experimental stages since 2008 and was original meant for the Wii.

So it was clear these guys didn't have a clue what to do. Then Mr Nintendo Miyamoto said he wasn't even sure how the game would be released, be it in disc form or in episodic downloadable segments. My heart was past my feet at this point.

Roll around to this year and after an admittedly enjoyable segment with the main three Nintendo execs changing into Star Fox characters in puppet form, game play footage was revealed. What little hope had been mustered by the skit was soon lost. My underwhelmed state stared at the clearly Nintendo 64 inspired visuals, game play and sounds... yes, that line. That fucking line the senile hare spews up that is technically incorrect. Know you ailerons.

I re-engaged when the Inari shine appeared on the screen and Shigeru talked about the history of the series but one line describing the game got me in particular.

"We've rebuilt the game using ideas from the past but it is not a part four or part five. It is not a remake either so we named it Star Fox Zero."

Perfect. It couldn't have a better title. The game is stuck in its own endless loop, unable to decide where to go or how to innovate. What the team do know is what it is doing and that is providing fan service to the ones who despised Adventures, were underwhelmed by Assault and offended by Command. The ones who just want another Star Fox 64. Yes, Miyamoto said it isn't a remake but seriously, take a look at the footage of Zero, then run it next to 64 and the cancelled Star Fox 2 on SNES. It's a love letter and an olive branch to the ones who didn't like stepping out of the cockpit. Also, where is Krystal? Yo, Anita Sarkeesian, got a female being ignored over here. Big step back for women blah blah blah cake for Mario.

What hurts the most is that it is being developed by Platinum Games. A developer known for producing fun and innovative titles paired with a series known for being a showcase for concepts and ideas. This should have been epic. I shouldn't be writing this right now. I don't want to hate the company everybody loves but the sad fact is the game has the perfect title for another reason. I have zero interest in Star Fox Zero.

It's been over a week since ConFuzzled and the memories from the weekend are still running around my head. I had been meaning to sit down and write this sooner but the fact was that I wanted to be able to truly give a sense of just how much this convention meant to me.

It would be easy to go through the events one by one but if I did that, this journal would be several pages long so I will pick out the highlights. Don't worry. There are plenty.

Meeting up with  Zikaur and  Nyx-Davan again was fantastic. Not only that but they were hanging out with  ShineyFighter,  Cheesewheel and  Oatcake who I had met during my day to ConFuzzled the previous year. Hugs were given all round and after attending the opening ceremony, I was stunned to find out I'd been recognised by my friend,  Duragan. It was the first time in the many years we've talked that we met face to face so it was a wonderful moment.

Later that day we went to Cheesewheel's room to have food, drink and relax. On my way up, I bumped into  Plucky in the lift. I'd been excited to meet him so it was nice to see him face to face as well. Getting to the room, to my surprise,  FoxAmoore, who had been performing live music at the opening ceremony as well as produced music for the Pawpets show, was sat on a couch in the room. The talk we had between friends and new acquaintances was humourous and thoroughly enjoyable. I made sure to purchase all of Fox Amoore's back catalogue when he was in the dealers den the next day and recommend you give his work a listen as well (Come Find Me being a new favourite CD of mine).

After a good few hours and a decent meal, I went to see what else was happening and met up with Duragan again. It was at this point that I also met  SDF_of_BC and  SMRaedis. Chatting some more, the call for karaoke was too great and after giving a blast on the microphone, he turned in for the night and I went back to meet up with Zikaur and Nyx who introduced me to  Kisumi87,  rusty-vulpyfox, Kneezel and more people at another party for a bit. I even bumped into  FoxMantra who was showing his new Amaterasu suit that looked gorgeous!

The Motofurs event was the highlight of the next day for me as it was amazing to go to a car meet with so much variety but at the same time, have everyone being so relaxed and enjoying themselves. It made a refreshing change to the normal car meets I have been to where people judge others for their choice in personalisations to their vehicle or wonder why they are driving particular cars. You can't really do that when a dragon rides past on a motorbike!

The Pawpets show was highly enjoyable and it certainly had some brilliant moments. The production values were very impressive and one of the final scenes had me in stitches. Getting to sketch with Zikaur in the artist alley until 2am was a nice experience as well.

Other events I went to included the fursuit parade and the Frankensuits competition which was hilarious to watch and I will definitely want to partake in next year. The premise was you get a victim/volunteer to put on a plain suit and you must make a certain type of character in a short space of time with limited materials. The results are brilliantly funny. I also went to the variety show which had some hit and miss performances but was still enjoyable enough. The art exhibition and subsequent auction were thoroughly enjoyable and even if you didn't bid, you would still enjoy the atmosphere.

By the time the closing ceremony came around, I was sad that I needed to leave before all of the events had finished as I was unable to get the rest of the week off work. However, I could say hand on heart that the weekend was one of the most enjoyable experiences I have ever had.

After doing my best to say goodbye to as many of the people I could and making my way home with Fox Amoore's music turned up on my stereo, I realised just how lucky I was to have the friends I do and to have had met so many wonderful and amazing people in this fandom. It re-invigorated my reasons for why I am a furry and it was so nice to see faces and hear voices behind the pictures of fursonas. It was fantastic to truly get to show a side of me that had been kept secret. Part of a double life I have lived for 10 years now.

But in meeting all these amazing people, some of whom were completely different to my expectations of them in that I was totally wrong (and am glad I was), I have become more comfortable in letting people outside of the fandom in on this extra life I lead. I have told some of my closest friends now and after the con last year, my closest family members know as well. The best thing was they were completely accepting of it as I was able to tell of my brilliant experiences from the weekend.

So altogether, I cannot wait for next year's ConFuzzled and I will definitely be making sure that I get to Scotiacon in November.

Besides, it's given me ideas for things I want to achieve to make next year even more fun! What they are? Well you'll have to watch this space!

---

Commissions Outstanding

Commissions:
 David31 PAID/SKETCHING - 1 pic, 2 characters, colour
 Foxpiper PAID/SKETCHED - 1 pic, 2 characters, colour
 Tailbate - PAID - 2 pictures, 3 characters, colour

Hey guys,

I am opening up emergency commissions due to some unforseen bills that have arisen. I am offering simple pencil sketches (that can be shaded if the commissioner wants) for $8 (£5) a character or coloured for $13 (£8). If you are interested or if you would like something more complex, you can note me through my DeviantArt, FurAffinity or Inkbunny page.

I am open to drawing most things but I will NOT draw:
Watersports/Scat
Baby Fur/Cub/Diaper

If you are unsure, note me the details.

Examples of my work:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15698290/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15638168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4066494/

To see more, check out my galleries:
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/rikmccloud/
https://inkbunny.net/submissionsvie.....;user_id=16437
http://rikmccloud.deviantart.com/gallery/

Commissions:
 David31 PAID - 1 pic, 2 characters, colour
 Foxpiper PAID - 1 pic, 2 characters, colour
Anonymous - PAID - 2 pictures, 3 characters, colour

Hello guys,

It's nice to be getting back into the swing of artwork once again. I have also been trying out some writing so you might see some of that appearing on my page in the near future. One thing I really want to do this year is to actually get off my butt and start practicing some digital artwork and use my tablet for what it was designed for. As much as I love doing traditional work, it doesn't hurt to be able to do stuff digitally as the majority of stuff you see is either completely drawn or finished off using digital techniques that gives clean and high quality results. I want a piece of that.

I would also like to start offering commissions at some point but I need to work out prices for stuff. However, there are people I still owe art to and I promise I haven't forgotten about you. I know I have said this in the past but the problem has been trying to get the motivation to do something creative. I am trying to do something, no matter how small each day. Could be a doodle, could be writing, could be trying out some stuff with digital work. I want to keep up this momentum that I have started. I also have been using some new references and want to try doing some stuff that is out of my usual comfort zone.

Also another reason I really want to make an effort this year is because it marks the 10th anniversary that I started to post my art online. I joined DeviantArt back in 2005 but had been drawing before that. One thing I plan on doing is going back and re-drawing some of those early pieces to see how much I have improved. Will be a fun little challenge.

That's all for now.

Hey guys, sorry for going quiet on you again.

Been trying to get back into the groove of artwork again and have several pieces that I am currently working on. I hope to get them finished and posted soon. For now, it's late and I need sleep. I will update this when I am more awake.

After an invite from  Zikaur, I attended my first ever furry convention today. Seeing as ConFuzzled is about a half hour drive away from where I live, it seemed a no-brainer. I bought a day pass so I could get a taste as to what the event is like. I'm wishing I'd bought a pass for the whole weekend and was staying there.

At first, the whole thing seemed incredibly daunting as I stepped through the lobby doors. Whilst I was looking at the maps wondering where to go, someone came over and asked if I was OK and I will say that people were extremely helpful in directing me to the right place. After getting my pass and guide, I then went to the Dealer's Den where Zikaur was working. She very kindly made me a con badge so I had more than just my card to allow me inside.

Allowing her to carry on her work, I then took a look around the Dealer's Den and saw some famous faces in the community (TaniDaReal and the EZcool Suit guys being two I recognised) and also looked around the Art Show (where you could place bids on pieces of work, portions of which would go to charity). There was a wonderful collection of stuff in there ranging from a Disney's Robin Hood school backpack to some amazing canvas prints and some other novelty items. There was also a live auction happening during the weekend for other work.

Stopping for lunch (which if you are planning on eating at the hotel, make sure you have plenty of money), I then saw there were some panels taking place. I had time to attend two. One gave us ideas on how to improve our anatomy when drawing anthros and the other was talking about the basics of heading into space (as the con was space themed). Walking around the hotel, I even spotted Uncle Kage chatting with about 10 people.

Meeting back up with Zikaur after then, I met with some more of her friends and we all went to dinner, chatting and generally having a fun time. Zikaur made sure that I hugged a fursuiter as well!

One thing I had noticed during the con was there was a wide range of age groups in attendance. Some people must have been close to their forties and there they were still wearing fursuits and making artwork. I always had this thought that at some stage, I would need to leave behind this strange and wonderful fandom but seeing them made me realise that wasn't necessarily the case.

It also made me realise how inclusive the fandom is. I saw and heard people who had mental disabilities talking to other people and generally being very warm and approachable. The way they talked reminded me of my brother who has autism.

This also led me to another thought. I saw people at the con who I would never have guessed were interested in the world of furries. It made me think about the double lives they must lead. How many people know about this interest of theirs?

As I said earlier, I wished that I had been staying for longer but when I think about it, I think I did the right thing because what would have happened if I hadn't enjoyed it? My advice to first time con visitors would be the following:

• Make sure you know some people who are going. Perhaps even meet up with them before you head off so you can explore the place together and not have to try to find each other.
• Bring a camera and plenty of money because there is so much to see and do.
• Don't be shy! There are a lot of people there who will be willing to say hi to you or have a chat. Just don't do anything before you know your company is comfortable with it.
• Have fun!

I don't regret only buying a day pass for the event as I would rather have left wanting more than staying there after having enough but I will be there for the whole thing next time!

It has been a while since I last updated my journal and I will give an update to what's been happening in time but for now, I wanted to give some artists who are open for commissions the spotlight. These are all personal recommendations and I seriously suggest you check them out! They are in no particular order and there is a wonderful mix of styles to choose from. Also I have tried to make sure all information contained in this is as accurate as possible.

---

Zikaur Dikaur  Zikaur (FurAffinity, Inkbunny, SoFurry, Weasyl, Livestream)
Rate: €10 per hour (approx $14 an hour) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9146304/

I first found out about Zikaur when one of my friends commissioned her and when I saw it, not only was I blown away by her skill but also could see that she had a great sense of humour. My commissions from her have taken advantage of offers she had at the time (Fetish List, YCH, Stream Sketches) but she does offer discounts for repeat commissioners dependant on the time taken with pictures. I am seriously looking forward to meeting her at ConFuzzled.

Personal Message: Zikaur, your work never ceases to amaze me with its quality and style. Anything from you is worth the wait and I look forward to meeting you in person later this month!

Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12258318/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12650564/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13320294/

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Rowan Raedwulf a.k.a. Saberlin/ElysianImagery  Rowan.Raedwulf (deviantArt, FurAffinity, Furstream, Patreon)
Rate: Fixed Prices start from $15 or $30 an hour http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12564896/

Whilst waiting for another stream to start on Fursteam, a thumbnail showing one of the other streams displayed a wolf weightlifting. Catching my attention, I checked out the artist and discovered that she loved drawing workout scenes as she enjoys crossfit. Not only that but Saber is very active creatively. Working on comics and tabletop games, there is a lot to see and get excited about when it comes to her work. As clichéd as it is to say this, she offers something for everyone.

Personal Message: Saber, it's always great fun whenever I am able to catch you streaming and the work you have created for me has been brilliant. I look forward to supporting your work in the future!

Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13228134/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13046316/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13336588/

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SkullStomper  xSkullStomperx (FurAffinity, Inkbunny, Livestream, YouTube)
Rate: Prices start from $7 http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5473736/

I first saw Skull's work when I was browsing the favourites of a group on FurAffinity and I loved his particular art style and the way he drew the character in question. Chatting to him, I found myself constantly getting commissions from him thanks to his speed, skill and value for money. Not only that but the guy is seriously cool to talk to and share ideas with, willing to attempt a lot of things. With a great sense of humour to boot, he has quickly become a good friend.

Personal Message: Skull, I hope that you get the grades you want from your course and that you have success in whatever lies ahead for you. I will be here to offer my support for you!

Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13336031/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13336031/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13161995/ - NSFW

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HeavyHoss  HeavyHoss (FurAffinity, Weasyl, Livestream)
Rate: Prices start from $5 http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5727523/

Heavy and I have known each other for years. I first met him through an RPG and have been friends ever since. A loyal, warm, kind and wonderful guy who certainly knows a thing or two about horses (shocker)! He has some serious talent when it comes to artwork as well and I am always excited to see a new piece from him. I think you will agree, the prices he charges are incredibly reasonable for the work he produces! Maybe all of the above is why he's so popular!

Personal Message: Heavy, I appreciate that things haven't gone as you thought that might but whatever happens, I will always be here for you to talk to and am more than happy to help you out!

Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12187367/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12734452/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13364365/

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SpyPolygon  SpyPolygon (FurAffinity, Livestream)
Rate: Prices start at $27 http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4604852/

Break out the leg-warmers and shoulder pads, crank up your boom boxes and put on your Aviators. The guy loves the 80s in a big way! He has created a world that takes all the stuff he loves about the 80s and combines it with future technologies. Having gone through art college, he is trying to make it big in the art world and the level of detail in his work is phenomenal. A really interesting guy to watch and he is super friendly as well!

Personal Message: Spy, I know you have recently started up a comic and have been to several conventions to publicise yourself. I hope that this brings a few more interested people your way!

Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11131036/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11655373/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13373405/

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So those are five artists I recommend you check out. I will be doing another list soon so keep your eyes peeled for more!

So yeah, there have been a few changes in my life during the last few weeks which should ultimately make things in my life a hell of a lot more enjoyable and better. It started out with a trip to my local car dealership to get my car serviced and they were hiring. A while back, one of the managers asked if I was interested in working at that place. I said yes but didn't do anything because things seemed to be promising with my current job.

As some of you may know, things have not been the smoothest for me over the last few months. The best way to describe it is that the difficulty curve they presented me was pretty damn steep and nobody seemed interested in giving me a hand with grasping the stuff I needed to. As a result of that and some other factors, I have come home tired, angry and loathing my job. The thoughts had been running through my head that I needed to get out.

So here was a possible opportunity. I asked if they would be interested still and they said for me to drop a CV to them. After e-mailing it to them, I got a phone call on the same day asking me to attend an interview. A date was arranged and when it came round, things seemed to go well. The manager who originally asked me about working at the dealership said that it was the first interview in a long time that she has enjoyed. They said for me to expect a call by the end of the week as they had another candidate to interview.

A few hours later, I receive a phone call from her offering me the job.

Holy...

Naturally, I said yes as it was much better hours (I get my evenings and weekends back) and the money was better. Not only that but it seemed like they actually care about giving you the right kind of training. So from next Monday, I will be working at a Peugeot and Nissan dealership in the parts department. I am very excited to get started there!

I have been lucky enough to get a week off so I can get myself ready for the job and I am attempting to start doing some digital artwork. You can see the first fruits of my work so far here: http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10995352/

I have been using a Wacom Bamboo Touch and Pen tablet and that picture has been drawn on GIMP 2. I also have OpenCanvas 1.1b72 and PaintTool SAI. What you are seeing is the basic set up for the picture and I was trying to draw a new layer with clean lines but I ran into a bit of a brick wall with it. This is where I want to reach out to you guys and ask how you do your digital work. I am still trying to work out my own style and any tips or pointers you could give me would be really useful.

Hopefully expect some more of this stuff from me in the future as well as some more traditional stuff.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading!

Apologies for not doing much here for the past month and a half. I have recently moved stores and am on a three month secondment as a duty manager which, if I'm successful, will mean I get to stay on as a manager earning more money. If it doesn't work out, I go back to my old store and job which is nearer to where I live so it's a win win scenario thankfully. As you can imagine with the increased traveling and workload, I have been very busy and as a result have been increasingly tired to do things. However, today is the start of a 9 day break for me which I have been looking forward to for ages. I intend to use this time creatively but also to help me chill out before I head back.

One thing I will say is that I have been amazed by the reception of the pictures  Duragan and I did regarding the anthro MLP: FiM pictures. To those of you who have favourited, commented and watched me, I thank you. I just hope that you won't be disappointed to see that I enjoy working on other stuff besides that!

Other stuff that has been happening is that I've got some new games for the PC and PS3. I recently got Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, Guild Wars 2, Tomb Raider and have put a pre-order down for Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time that hasn't been released in the UK yet. Haven't had a chance to play them yet but will be able to this week along with a load of other games that were bought for me before Christmas. Still cannot thank the people who gifted them to me enough for that! Other than that, I've been feeling nostalgic for my older PlayStation games like the ToCA Touring Car series and Gran Turismo. You know what? They still hold up and are fun to play today.

I was going to get SimCity at some point but the whole online DRM thing has killed it for me. However, a hacker managed to get the game to work without needing to hook up to EA's servers. Perhaps this will mount pressure on EA and other publishers to stop with this ridiculous practice as it quite clearly doesn't work.

One last thing which is more positive. The Museum of Modern Art in New York has become the first art gallery in the world to exhibit video games. People can go up to the installations and play them. Games like PacMan, Portal and Vib Ribbon are on display there and if I ever do head over Stateside, I will definitely want to check that out!

That's all for now. See you soon!

Hacker makes SimCity playable: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21802508
MoMA Video Game Installation: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21661690

As the last few hours of 2012 tick away, I now have a chance to reflect upon the year and assess where I am and how much I've learnt.

This first point may sound a bit weird but 2002 was a really good year for me. I was really enjoying school and doing well, spent a lot of time with friends and was in high spirits. I came into 2012 with the mind that I wanted it to be as good as 2002. There were certain things that didn't go as well such as my time at university but things worked out in the end and it could have been a lot worse. One of my lecturers actually came into work to buy a bike for his daughter and he said he was sorry it didn't work out the way I'd originally hoped. As a result of it though, one thing I had learnt this year was that you can try to plan things but it's not necessarily a bad thing if they don't plan out the way you expect them too. I was lucky in the respect that I now have a job where it feels like my employer actually values me and I have a lot more than a fair few of my fellow graduates. I'm going into 2013 with promising prospects in regards to job security and the opportunity to earn more money.

I have kept up with a lot of my old friends and it's something I wish to continue and perhaps do more of in the new year. I might even try to get in contact with some of the older ones and see if we can start doing something a bit more regularly again. One of the things I have previously mentioned is how lucky I feel to have so many friends who I've met through websites like dA, FA and so on who enjoy talking to me. To all of you who will probably be the majority who will be reading this, I thank you once again from the bottom of my heart.

I aim to get back into the creative side of things. Because of university and work, I haven't been able to do much in the form of art for here or videos on YouTube but next year, I plan on changing that. Thanks to the new PC I've bought myself, it will allow me to do a lot more in terms of creating various bits of media. I also aim to improve my digital art skills which are pretty much non-existent. Any advice from you guys out there would be appreciated!

I'll let those who like the techie side of computers know the specs. The PC is an Advent DT2111 which is a basically a PC World own brand computer. Some of you may be asking why I bought one off the shelf rather than build one. I had the intention of building one but when I saw what this had and saw the price of it, I thought there really wasn't any need to. It has an Intel Core i5 2320 3Ghz quad core processor, 8GB RAM, 2TB hard drive, AMD Radeon HD6670 2GB GDDR3 graphics card and is wireless 802.11bgn enabled which is perfect for me. The only things I've needed to change are the wireless receiver, the keyboard and mouse. I am running TP-Link WN722N USB WI-FI adapter with antenna. I have played online with it and experienced no lag so highly recommend that. The computer also came with a wireless mouse and keyboard but I bought higher quality wired ones as I couldn't be bothered with changing batteries and having to sync them etc. For all that, it was the same cost as the budget I was planning for my home built PC so it was a no brainer.

I have been fully immersed into the world of Steam and would like to thank those of you who have been kind enough to buy games for me through it. The one time 'console only' gamer is now enjoying a variety of PC titles. AND GODDAMN, THOSE SALES PRICES ARE AMAZING! I also had to buy Skyrim for the PC and after playing it for a year on PS3, the difference in frame rate, load times, saving times and even the graphics is shocking. Even with this relatively basic set up, it is so much quicker and better than on the consoles. Anyway, who am I to point out the obvious? I love this rig and am glad to be using Windows 7 on a desktop after four years of a MacBook being my main computer. Not saying Mac is bad by any means but it is a refreshing change. So much more stuff available for it and so much cheaper as well. I will still use my MacBook, which to be fair to it, has been worth the money I paid for it but for the stuff I wanted to do now (like HD video editing, recording), unfortunately, it just wasn't enough anymore.

Going back to art, I owe a lot of people artwork and to those of you who I have promised it and not delivered, I am sorry. I really do aim to change that. I have had art blocks and have been drained at times when I want to do it but have been lacking the energy. Other times, life has got in the way but I still enjoy drawing and I am also getting into a lot more writing as well. In fact, I am working on a piece staring a few characters belonging to  fiercedeityfox and I plan to do more stuff like that.

Anyway, rather than promising to get stuff sorted and then not doing it, I have the best intentions to get it done. I just need to get it done!

Thanks for reading this and hope you have a great 2013. See you next year!

They say that when you get older, Christmas doesn't feel the same as when you are a kid. As your responsibilities change and you begin to malign the fact that the season has come round again, there is one thing you shouldn't forget. This time of year is when we should reflect on the things we have got that do not have a monetary worth. As the weeks running up to today rolled by, in between the stresses that come with being responsible for more things, the magic of why we do this got stronger.

I am so lucky to have the friends I have got and I appreciate each and every one of you. To be able to come home from a day at work and have some fun with you guys is what makes life worth living. Some of you have been incredibly generous to me and I am truly thank you for your wonderful gifts but to be able to share them with you and have fun is the best thing of all.

Have a merry Christmas everyone!

 Sailoranna is offering some incredibly reasonably priced commission pieces and also has some pieces up for auction!

Prices for commissions start at $15 for line art of one character, $20 for flat colour along with a simple background and add another $5 for an additional character.

Example of style here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8856036/

Full info here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3846417/

Check out his auctions here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3867227/

Go and help a fellow artist!

I have no idea what the hell has happened by my contacts on both MSN and Yahoo have screwed up big time. I have a feeling I might know the cause but have been unable to contact anyone about it yet.

I recently upgraded my phone to a Sony Xperia S which is running Android Gingerbread 2.3.7. It asked me to link my Hotmail and Yahoo contacts to it and I accepted that. Next thing I know, all but a few of my Yahoo contacts have disappeared and I need to re-add them. Next day, a vast majority of my MSN contacts aren't showing up but still appear to be in my contacts when I search for them manually.

Has anyone had any problems like this before?

Sorry about the previous journal but things have calmed down since then and I will give clearer information as to what happened soon. For now, I want to get the remaining trades out of the way so want to stay active for a while.

For the first time in ages, I felt the buzz to actually put some lines on a piece of paper and draw. I would like to thank those of you who have been patiently waiting for pictures I have promised. Recently I have had a lot of stressful stuff happening and I rediscovered how calming drawing was. So, to help me in getting my backlog cleared, I am putting a list up on this journal and will tick off the stuff I need to do as I do it by linking the pictures.

 Dragonballfan - Trade - Crash & Fox Comic
 LukeDelfino - Trade and Gift Art
 atak - Gift Art
 TBFM Gift Art

If I have forgotten anyone, please leave a comment on this journal and I will add you to the list.