Here it is, September, 2017, and once again I'm treating it like a 'sweeps month' (just like the major TV networks do at this time of the year).

I hope to provide a lot more material in my "FA" site than ever before. This includes all new "EFF" and "Front & Back" comic gags and plenty of new 'photo-ops' - from both New York and Florida...

And as far as my journals go, I hope to present the final chapters of my "Return to New York" series, which includes the wedding reception, and another reunion with a friend who I hadn't seen in over twenty years (and I'll have the 'photo-ops' to prove it)! Other journals will hopefully include a new edition of "Fur-One-One" (anthropomorphic news items), and more reviews of "New TV Commercials with Animals".

All that, and much more during my latest 'sweeps month'; Check it out!

Just in time for "Fat Tuesday", here's a follow-up to my last edition of "Fat Furry News" - https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8197104/

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"ROLLIN' WILD": In case some of you haven't been following the popular website that's full of full-figured jungle critters (a leopard, a cheetah, some zebras, etc.), their latest CGI video short features a ginormous giraffe, trying to engage himself in the simple act of getting a drink of water.

In addition, the same animation studio now has a new collection of shorts with fat city and country animals (cat, mouse, dog, cow, pig, etc.) - once again presented in a 'blackout' format. Check out these corpulent critters at these links:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba62uuv-5Dc
www.rollinwild.com

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"FAT FURRIES IN THE FUNNIES": I've been following more comic gags in both the newspapers and the Internet - featuring either lean characters who get fattened, or originally obese beasts. I have a list of links to the best of the big-bellied fauna from the Funny Pages of the past three or four months...

Besides the usual syndicated strips, I'd also including a few editions of "Housepets!" by this website's own Rick Griffin, with a squishy squirrel, a rounded raccoon, and a pudgy pooch. Check them out:

"HOUSEPETS!" by Rick Griffin
www.housepetscomic.com/comic/2017/0.....04/26/in-the-nuthouse/
www.housepetscomic.com/comic/2017/0.....017/04/28/nuts-to-you/
www.housepetscomic.com/comic/2017/0.....017/07/17/garbage-day/
www.housepetscomic.com/comic/2017/0.....2017/08/16/the-future/

"OVER THE HEDGE" by Michael Fry & T. Lewis
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/05/06
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/06/19
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/06/20
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/07/03
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/07/04
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/07/08
www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/07/24

"PLUGGERS" by Gary Brookins
www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/03/04
www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/04/19
www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/08/24

ADDITIONAL COMIC TITLES
www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2017/08/19
www.gocomics.com/bear-with-me/2017/04/06
www.gocomics.com/diamondlil/2017/03/04
www.gocomics.com/dogsofckennel/2017/07/23
www.gocomics.com/offthemark/2017/07/27
www.gocomics.com/theothercoast/2017/06/27
www.gocomics.com/poochcafe/2017/04/23

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As always, please notify me if I'd made any errors in any one of the above links, and I'll try to correct them ASAP...

It's been a while since I'd checked out the latest TV adverts with animal characters in them, so I thought I'd review five of the newest ones. And because they air sporadically, when you never really know what time to view them, I'll provide you with the "YouTube" links to each one, so that you can check them out at your leisure.

As usual, I will present my reviews in descending order, with the Number One commercial I'd deem as the best of the bunch (in my humble opinion)...

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5. TRIP ADVISOR - "Owl" (:30): Having already seen ads over the years with an animated owl, touting everything from Tootsie Pops to medicine and eyeglasses, it comes as no surprise that yet another owl has become the 'spokesmorph' for yet another service (finding suitable travel lodgings worldwide). This advert (which just began airing in America a few weeks ago) is the original one from the U.K., as it has the monetary pound symbols, instead of the usual dollar signs.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA9xGOsD_sI

4. OLD SPICE - "Alpha Dawg" (:30): In a new series of commercials for the face and body enhancement company, two human women are (temporarily) upstaged by a hip hound who attempts to push Old Spice products in lightning-fast fashion. Sup, dawg?!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7c6N25759Y

3. GEICO - "Fleas" (:30): As part of its new "Take A Closer Look" campaign, Geico promotes its usual auto insurance benefits with the aid of a pair of fleas (portrayed by two costumed humans) on the back of a dog, playing (of all things) a round of badminton. Who'll win? Who knows? Who cares!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4Y6mXF2fp0

2. GEICO - "Ceiling Leak" (:30): Of course, no Geico commercial review would be complete without one featuring its iconic gecko character. Taking a break from his nationwide travels, he stops off in an obligatory suburban house, to promote the company's 'home owner's insurance'. See water leaking from the living room ceiling, he speculate that it's coming from a busted pipe... but the only ones who are getting 'busted' are a bunch of kids in the room above, who are roughhousing (with their dog) in an above-ground inflatable swimming pool!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUD2aHGyLDY

1. KIA - "Turbo Hamster" (1:30): To help promote their newest SVU model (the Turbo Soul), Kia enlists the aid of yet another one of their hamsters; but this one was just born - as we discover him in the maternity ward of a hospital. A high-speed chase ensues throughout the entire facility, culminating with the infant rodent parachuting through the sunroof of the title vehicle!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqDb_5hs0v8

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If I'd misspelled any of the above links to any of these TV spots, simply use the 'search' feature on the 'Home' page of "YouTube", and type in the brand name and the subject matter of its commercial, and you will be (hopefully) entertained by its material.

Watch for another series of TV commercial reviews from me in the Fall (unless you live south of the Equator, in which case you'll see them in the Spring)!

One of the first jobs I ever had - that I really enjoyed working at - was being a mechanical paste-up/layout artist for Florin-Creative Film Services, Inc. (originally located in East Meadow, New York). I began working for them in mid-1976, and continued until the early 1980s (when I was reluctantly 'laid off', as the company was relocating [at the time] to Westchester County)...

Not only did my job entail creating newspaper ads for various movie houses in the New York/New Jersey area, but I also worked on programs and flyers (promoting upcoming films) for some of the same movie houses...

Most notably, I'd worked on "Sam", the semi-regular program for the Uniondale Mini-Cinema - a repertory movie house on Long Island, who specialty was screening film comedies starring the Marx Brothers. Hence, the 'in-joke' featured on the cover page of said program: "Sam was their father; and Minnie (a phonetic play on the term 'Mini') was their mother"...

During the mid-summer of 1977, the Mini-Cinema was highlighting a 'Rock Concert Movie Festival', with various musical films (such as "Led Zeppelin: The Song Remains The Same", "Emerson, Lake and Palmer: Rock 'n' Roll Your Eyes", and [of course] "Woodstock"), playing for a few weeks...

Following my boss's orders, I had just completed assembling all of the necessary artwork for this special issue of "Sam", with an image of pop legend Jimi Hendrix on the cover. (Keep in mind, my job was almost a full-generation ahead of doing mechanical art without the use of a computer, for additional enhancements and 'touch-ups'.)

I gave Marc the completed four-page draft, which he promptly took to the printing shop, to be made into a few hundred copies of the program - to be distributed to various stores and restaurants that sponsored the Mini-Cinema, not to mention the theater itself.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment myself, I resumed my usual other labors, by working on the ads for newspapers such as the "New York Post" and "Newsday"...

A few days later, it was August 16, 1977. Just an ordinary day... when Marc and I had learned about the death of Elvis Presley (by heart attack) at the age of 42.

On a whim, Marc decided to change the schedule of the 'Rock Concert Movie Festival' at the Mini-Cinema, to include a few films starring Elvis. This, of course, meant that I would also have to update "Sam" (with these newly-booked films), not to mention changing the program's cover art to include "The King of Rock 'N' Roll".

Long story short, I had to put in a lot of extra hours on the job, between said update and working on those newspaper ads (including a special Mini-Cinema ad, acknowledging Elvis's passing). Having completed this Herculean feat in record time, I gave the updated drafts to Marc, who (in turn) went back to the printing shop to have hundreds of new copies of "Sam" printed out and distributed throughout Long Island.

I'd breathed a sigh of relief, as I began to go back into my 'business-as-usual' mode, and started to complete my latest batch of newspaper ads...

And then came August 19, 1977. Just another ordinary day... when, once again, fate intervened. Marc and I had learned about yet another passage in the world of 'show business'. This time, it was Groucho Marx who had succumbed (after a four-month bout with pneumonia) at the age of 86.

"Jed," said Marc.

"I'm way ahead of you," I responded, as I began to work on my third program draft in over a week!

Now, Marc was booking Marx Brothers movies to throw in, following the 'Rock Concert Movie Festival' and the 'Tribute to Elvis'. The flicks he'd chosen included such classics as "Duck Soup", "A Night at the Opera", and (a bootlegged copy of) "Animal Crackers" (before CBS-TV acquired the rights to air it, later in the 1970s, on "The CBS Friday Late Movie").

Meanwhile, rather than promote the addition of a 'Marx Brothers Film Festival' at the Mini-Cinema, I'd changed the cover art by simply posting a photo of Groucho, in his classic pose from "Duck Soup" - seated behind a desk, eyes rolled up, and hand resting under his chin (while holding one of his legendary cigars). And the only text I put with this cover photo was simply "1890-1977".

And, as a 'finishing touch' to this cover, I'd placed a single, tiny teardrop underneath the eye of Sam (the real-life father of the Brothers Marx), whose image sits next to the title of the program.

I gave Marc this latest updated draft, and imagined the look on the face of the proprietor of the printing shop at seeing my boss show up at his establishment for the third time in the last seven or so days!

To this day, I still have a few surplus copies of the updated issues of "Sam" - some with Elvis on the cover, and others with Groucho on it. It was a testament to my durability as a mechanical paste-up/layout artist (during a 'pre-high tech age'), a vocation I was able to continue performing as throughout the 1980s (at other companies) and only once in the mid-1990s (at a printing company in Delray Beach, Florida).

I have not found any other line of work (that I can truly say I'd enjoyed) ever since then...

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FOOTNOTE: That same image of Groucho that appeared on the cover of "Sam" was also the basis for a rare piece of art I'd created with a typewriter, which you can see in my 'Gallery'... http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17593206

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ADDENDA: On August 20, 2017, actor/comedian Jerry Lewis died; He was 82. There were several connections between him and my job at Florin-Creative Film Services, Inc. (even though I'd never met the man himself)...

For example, during my final two years as an employee, I had relocated to a storage room on the second floor of The East Meadow Flick (a multiplex movie house), which originally was a Jerry Lewis Twin Cinema. This room doubled as my artist's room and a darkroom (for photographing my various newspaper ads). And I also used to take home surplus copies of the press kits for various motion pictures (including Disney animated features and many film comedies - some of them with Mr. Lewis)...

Lastly, my boss Marc would let me take home other cinematic souvenirs - usually in the form of promotional gimmicks (e.g. a toy truck to hype the Burt Reynolds comedy "Smokey and the Bandit"). One such souvenir was a copy of a book entitled "The Total Filmmaker" a 'behind-the-scenes' look at how Jerry Lewis directed himself in some of early solo comedies.

R.I.P., Mr. Lewis...

When I was growing up in the Bronx, back in the 1950s and early 1960s, I used to watch a lot of cartoons on TV. Besides the usual fare, with such familiar characters as 'Bugs Bunny', 'Daffy Duck', 'Mickey Mouse', etc., I also recall seeing a variety of 'one-shot shorts' (from various animation studios) with a somewhat similar theme...

In these cartoons, a band of mice would roam around some human-built establishment, and have the run of the place after 'closing time' - depending on what was being sold. If it was a supermarket, there would be a number food-related gags (such as two mice sitting on either end of a banana and rocking it like a teeter-totter, or another mouse using his tail like a corkscrew to open a bottle of wine), and if it was a department store, its merchandise would find new uses (such as nylon stockings as parachutes and roller skates as cars).

I used to enjoy these cartoons with its rambunctious rodent cast, realizing (as I grew up) that it was just make-believe, and that the situations in each short could never occur in the real world. By the same token, I would never expect to see any form of vermin in broad daylight, whenever I frequent any human-built establishment...

That said, I recall a minor incident that took place at a Broward County Wendy's restaurant, just a month or so ago. Entering through the north door of the eatery, I'd decided to order a chili salad and a small fountain beverage.

The person behind the counter asked, "What's your name?" - as he planned to write it on an order sheet, and eventually call me when my meal is ready.

"Jed... J-E-D," I'd replied, as the counter man gave me a paper cup, to fill up with the drink of my choice (in this case, raspberry iced tea).

Gathering up napkins and my utensils for said meal, I then proceeded to find a table near the same entrance I came through. It was also within proximity of an HDTV set, tuned to CNN, so I can follow the news of the day.

"Jeb?! Jeb?!" a voice called out.

Returning to the counter, I'd corrected the order taker.

"It's Jed... I'd spelled it out for you... J-E-D!"

"Oh, I thought you'd said 'B'..."

One look at the order sheet told the story. It read 'JEB', despite how clearly I'd spelled out my name. (This same scenario had also occurred at Burger King, McDonald's and Starbucks.)

I wasn't about to let this situation get to me. I just took the chili salad to my table, and began to set everything in place.

I was looking up at the HDTV, as the CNN news broadcast went on a commercial break...

Then, just as I was about to eat my meal, my attention was distracted by some motion going on at the bottom of the north door. A slight greyish blur caught my eye, causing me to get up and approach the glass egress.

Sure enough, running back and forth on a metal ledge (against the outside glass of the door) was a small, lone mouse - who was obviously looking for a way inside the restaurant... in the middle of the day!

I was both amused and frightened by this visual image. My concern, at that exact moment, was that another customer would come to the north door (not seeing the mouse below) and open it, allowing the critter inside.

Luckily, the mouse saw me, and jumped off the ledge onto the concrete. But, instead of running away, it jumped on the low metal ledge of a window, and resumed its back-and-forth pacing.

"How did this mouse get here?" I'd thought to myself. Just then, my eyes caught a glimpse of some construction workers at the corner of the Wendy's parking lot, digging up some broken cement and dirt near a bush in a remote section.

I eventually theorized that the mouse lived underground, and escaped from the excavation site with its life - thinking it could seek shelter inside the restaurant.

I just couldn't return to my table (and resume my repast) until the mouse had left the premises altogether.

A Wendy's employee just happened to pass me by, as she was cleaning up the other tables in my vicinity.

"Excuse me," I'd whispered to the employee. "I don't wish to attract any attention, but there's a mouse outside the door. Could you kindly remove it?"

Her eyes almost grew as large as saucers, when she saw the mouse, still running back and forth by the window next to the door. But she kept quiet, so as not to start a chaotic panic among the other customers, and ran off to get a broom...

Just then, I saw two little old spinster ladies slowly approaching the doorway from the parking lot...

If they saw the mouse, there's no telling how they'd react. But if they don't see it, they might accidentally let it in.

I'd dashed towards the door, and tried to signal them to go around to the south entrance, but it was to no avail.

So, I quickly opened the door, and motioned the senior citizens to get in as quickly as possible. Luckily, the mouse was startled my actions and ran into a corner, rather than towards the door.

Unfortunately, one of the two ladies saw the mouse and almost screamed.

"Just get inside," I'd told her. They ran through the entrance, as I quickly pulled the door shut. The mouse stayed put, refusing to go to the door or the window.

The Wendy's employee returned with the broom, and one of her supervisors. The supervisor grabbed the broom, opened the door, and promptly swept the mouse (in one motion) into the parking lot... just as an SUV drove by!

I flinched the moment that gas-guzzler passed us all. Fearing the worst, I was expecting to see a little dead body on the pavement. But, as luck would have it, there was no sign of a rodental corpse.

"He must've ran off between the wheels of that car," I thought.

I returned to my table and ate my meal, looking more times at the door than at the HDTV, in anticipation of the mouse's return, but it never came to pass...

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Now, I told you that story, to tell you this one...

Does anyone remember the Blake Edwards film comedy "Victor/Victoria"? In one key scene, Julie Andrews' character attempts to get a free meal in this Paris bistro, by planting a cockroach on her empty plate and complaining to the manager - only to have said roach escape from her purse, and end up on someone else's table (and then, the real laughs ensue).

Well, earlier this week, I went to an International House of Pancakes (elsewhere in Broward County), to try their new 'French Toast Donut' dessert, to accompany my breakfast. (I had the 'Strawberry Creme' flavored one.)

I was halfway through my meal (consisting of bacon strips, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and coffee), when once again I was distracted by another motion, caught out of the corner of my eye.

On the wall next to my table, I saw a little round bug, no bigger than the top of a Philips-head screw. I didn't think much of it, and continued to eat.

The bug then proceeded to crawl down the wall, closer to the table. It was then that I'd noticed that the long antennae atop its head...

It was a roach! A very small roach, but a roach, nonetheless!

Now, under any other circumstance, I would've let this bug live. But no, it obviously had a 'death wish' - as it crawled down to table-top level.

My IHOP waitress had left a few napkins for me to wipe my face following the meal. But instead, I'd picked up all of them, and proceeded to squash the roach on the table, just as it was making a beeline for my plate! I then took the pancake syrup tray and placed it on top of the napkins (and the flatten insect within them).

Getting over this crisis, I'd continued consuming my breakfast fare.

During that time, between chewing the bacon and the eggs, I had recalled a joke I once saw in a comic strip. In it, an exterminator was confronting his customer...

"I have some good news and some bad news," the exterminator told the customer. "The good news is, I finally killed that cockroach in your bathroom."

"That's a relief," said the customer. "So, what's the bad news?"

"The rest of his family have shown up for the funeral!"

I began to eat my 'French Toast Donut', following the main course, when another moving speck on the wall got my attention... Sure enough, it was another roach!

I wolfed down the rest of my dessert and quickly signaled for my waitress to come over, with the bill.

"Did you enjoy your breakfast, dear?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, I did. But I would've enjoyed it even more, if I didn't have 'unexpected company'..." I replied, pointing out the second roach on the wall.

The waitress explained that this particular IHOP was undergoing renovations in the kitchen area, near my table, and the staff did come across additional roaches - which they had thought were all exterminated.

Long story short, the waitress brought the matter up with her manager, who (in turn) allowed me to have my ill-fated breakfast for free. (I still gave the waitress a well-deserved tip, for putting her through my own personal situation.)

Leaving the IHOP, as I headed towards my destination, I began to think back to those old cartoons I saw as a kid again, and wondered to myself what sort of antics would the cockroaches get involved in, if they had the run of the eatery after closing time. As far as I was concerned, what I don't know won't hurt (or disturb) me...

Even though I got myself a replacement computer, it might still take a while before I can resume posting all-new art and photos in my gallery for August, 2017, as I'm still not completely connected to the Internet at home.

But, at least, I can use my tablet to post new journals - including another "Personal Update", the final parts of my "Return to New York" saga, and another edition of "Fur-One-One" (the latest anthropomorphic news).

The big challenge for me is attempting to learn how to use Gimp 2 - the art program for my replacement PC. In the interim, I will try to find the time to render some new, original art pieces that will ready for scanning shortly. Among the images will be new gags for "Fat Cat Month" and "Fat Bunny Week" (later this month), and possibly a drawing of another one of Thornton Burgess's animal characters...

Until then, enjoy the 'dog days' of Summer!

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"ADDENDA" #1: Since posting this journal (on August 2, 2017), I had learned on Facebook of the passing of public access TV personality and fursuiter Richard Concepcion (a.k.a. 'Rapid T. Rabbit'). As soon as my replacement computer is up and running on the Internet, I hope to pay homage to him, ASAP...

"ADDENDA" #2: With the help of an AT&T representative. I'm back on the Internet again (as of August 4, 2017). As soon as I am certain to scan my new art and photos, I'll present them all of you. So, stay tuned!

"OBITS": As most of you know by now, legendary voice actor June Foray passed away on July 26, 2017 - just a few weeks shy of her 100th birthday. Lovers of all things anthropomorphic will remember June as the voice of 'Rocky the Flying Squirrel' (for Jay Ward Productions), 'Grammi Gummi' and 'Magica de Spell' (both for Disney), as well as straight-laced animal characters such as the mother wolf in "Mowgli's Brothers" and the mother of 'Kotick' in "The White Seal" (from Chuck Jones Productions). Rather than run off all of her other credits, just go to the nearest search engine to check out the additional works of Ms. Foray... Ironically, June's death overshadowed the passing of comic actor Patti Deutsch, who also succumbed on July 26th. A member of the comedy troupe The Ace Trucking Company (whose cast also includes Fred Willard and Billy Saluga), 'furry fanatics' will remember her as the voice of 'Trixie' (one of the rats living in the White House basement) in the 1992 animated series "Capitol Critters" (a collaboration of Hanna-Barbera Studios and Steven Bochco). Ms. Deutsch was 74...

"TELEVISION": Back in the 1980s and 1990s, when cel-animated episodes of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" aired in syndication, special installments tying in the popular comic book "Usagi Yojimbo" were produced. Now, in 2017, 'Miyamoto Usagi' - the creation of long-time artist Stan Sakai - returns in CGI, for a multi-part presentation, currently playing Sundays on Nickelodeon... Fans of "The Lion King": Get ready for a blast from the past! The arch nemesis 'Scar' returns from the dead (or did he ever escape from those hoards of hyenas?), in a brand new mini-movie for Disney Channel - "The Lion Guard: The Rise of Scar" - debuting on Saturday morning, July 29th... Other TV fare with anthropomorphic characters in the offing include the reboot of "Duck Tales" (on Disney XD), new episodes of "We Bare Bears" (on Cartoon Network), and "Nature Cat" (on PBS). Consult your listings for days, times, and specific channels from your Cable TV or Satellite service provider... The network known as Sprout - with lots of animated programs - will undergo a name change. By September, it will be called Universal Kids, and it will feature lots of new cartoon fare...

"MOVIES": Upcoming CGI feature films with animal characters in them include "The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature" (in August), "My Little Pony: The Movie" (in October), Disney-Pixar's "Coco" (in November), Blue Sky Studios' "Ferdinand" (in December), and Sony Animation Studios' "The Star" (also in December)... In Disney's motion-capture reboot of "The Lion King", award-winning actor James Earl Jones reprises his role as 'Mufasa' - from the original cel-animated version of the film... Director Tim ("The Nightmare Before Christmas") Burton will be at the helm of a live action/motion-capture remake of Disney's "Dumbo" - featuring the talents of Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito...

"COMIC BOOKS": As a follow-up to my story about the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" multi-part TV presentation, IDW Publishing (in collaboration with Nickelodeon, Dark Horse Comics, and Stan Sakai himself) presents a special "TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo" one-shot crossover, with multiple cover art images. Cover A is drawn by Stan Sakai himself, while Cover B is rendered by his long-time associate and "MAD" cartoonist Sergio Aragones, with additional covers (from other copies of the same one-shot) done by "TMNT" co-creator Kevin Eastman... Other comic books of interest include (the new version of) "Duck Tales" (from IDW Publishing), "Looney Tunes", "DC Super Heroes/Looney Tunes" crossovers, and "Scooby-Doo" (all from DC)...

"MISCELLANEOUS": Here it is, the middle of 2017, and already some of the 2018 calendars are coming out. Among the more interesting ones available, I'd highly recommend "Hipster Animals: A Field Guide" by Dyna Moe (from Andrews McMeel Publishing). The anthropomorphic fauna for each month are studies of unorthodox human behavior. This 2018 calendar also features a four-month grid for the balance of 2017. It's available at Barnes & Noble, and wherever other calendars are sold. ($14.99 US, $18.99 Canada, £10.99 UK, $24.99 Australia, $26.99 New Zealand) ...Disney Theme Parks in Orlando, Florida will be opening new attractions based on some of their past fare, including a "Ratatouille" ride (just like the one currently running at Disneyland Paris), a "Guardians of the Galaxy" pavilion, and even a ride based on one of the new'Mickey Mouse' short subjects airing on Disney Channel... On July 27th, character actor - and the voice of 'Nick Wilde' in Disney's "Zootopia" - Jason Bateman received his 'star' on the "Hollywood Walk of Fame". Here's hoping that Ginnifer Goodwin (the voice of 'Judy Hopps') will follow, not too long from now...

Once in a while, I'll talk a little bit about myself, but not too much. Otherwise, some of you might get bored, and move on to another "FA" site...

GOOD NEWS: I finally obtained a replacement PC - refurbished by Andrew Greene and delivered by Kevin Duane - so I can resume posting my art and photos in "Fur Affinity" real soon...

BAD NEWS: In late June, I quickly assembled a four-page column, made forty copies of it at Kinko's, and sent it out to Seattle, Washington via 'Priority Mail', so that it would appear in the July, 2017 issue of the 'funny animal' APAzine "Rowrbrazzle" (#134). It got to editor Edd Vick in time, but my column still won't appear in said issue. Apparently, while in the process of collating submissions from some of the 'zine's other contributors, Vick had misplaced my material, and it was too late to include it, having already mailed out all forty copies. But he promised me that my column will appear closer to the front of Issue #135... due out in late October, 2017!

(ADDENDA): A few hours after posting this journal, I'd learned that my copy of "Rowrbrazzle" #134 had arrived... and true to 'Murphy's Law', despite the fact that editor Edd Vick had placed two "DO NOT BEND" stickers on the envelope it came in (one on each side), some S.O.B. from the U.S.P.S. still bent it and stuffed it into that narrow mailbox of mine! The only 'saving grace' is that my column didn't appear in Issue #134; Otherwise, it would've ended up just as bent and wrinkled as the rest of the pages of that copy of the APAzine!

Health-wise, a recent checkup found that my cholesterol count is steady, but my triglyceride count is 'through the roof'- which means that I might have to alter my diet (in terms of 'food intake' and 'eating in moderation'). Luckily, I get plenty of exercise by commuting all over Broward County (FL) by bicycle.

I'll have another edition of "Personal Update" in August, when I hope to have more good news (and less bad news) to report...

While Rhonda drove some of the guests in her SUV to the wedding site (about a half-mile away from the East Rockaway home), Glenn and I began to walk to the same location - accompanied by two male members of the groom's family. Luckily, it was a very sunny day with temperatures in the 70s and very low humidity - so strolling all that way there in formal outfits wasn't uncomfortable for any of us.

Five blocks later, we'd reached our destination. It was a very small park with a pier overlooking a canal (where small motorboats cruise up and down the waterway). And on the other side of the canal is a local yacht club, where a number of its members - most of them dressed in sailor suits - had converged for a separate ceremony that differed from the nuptials taking place on my side.

In the middle of the park was a very tall gazebo, that was decorated with white flowers and linen ribbons. Some members of both families were already seated in the shade of the gazebo. A Public Address system was playing some apropos music (some romantic pop tune from the 1980s), over and over again, as more wedding guests arrived.

It was at this point I began to recognize some of my own relatives - from both Mom and Dad's side of the family - arriving one by one for the ceremony.

They included my cousin Sheryl - who I last saw in 2006, around the time of Mom's passing; my cousin Steven - one of three brothers who was the only family member who could make it; cousins (from another family) David and Lisa - who usually would 'rib' me for not remembering them (considering that I hadn't seen them in years); and, of course, my ex-brother-in-law Paco - who had brought along a daughter from his current marriage (Erica and Corynne's half-sister).

Another last-minute arrival was Rhonda's best friend Elizabeth - a flight attendant for a major airline - who I also had not seen since the early 2000s.

As all the wedding guests began to get seated around the outside of the gazebo (and that lone pop song continued to drone on over the P.A. system), a limousine pulled up in the parking lot. Exiting the vehicle were the bride and groom. Corynne was adorned in white, while Hector was decked out in his light blue garb (including his hat and shoes, which were a darker shade of blue).

As the couple slowly approached the altar in the center of the gazebo, the music on the P.A. system was turned down, and an instrumental 'new age' piece replaced it.

"I suppose it's a nice change of pace from 'Here Comes the Bride'," I thought to myself.

After all of the attendees (including myself) took the obligatory photo-ops of the bride and groom, the music was turned off, and the traditional ceremony was about to begin...

Instead of a minister, priest, or Rabbi, the wedding was conducted by another one of my sister's friends - who was actually licensed to perform weddings. It was going to be one of those ceremonies where the bride and groom create and recite their own marriage vows, while said conductor improvised her own dialogue - throwing in an occasional joke or two along the way.

"Great!" I'd said to myself. "Another Neil Simon scenario!"

As Rhonda's friend described the virtues of wedded bliss, I began to hear music again. But it wasn't coming from the P.A. system, as it was already unplugged.

"Where is that music coming from?" I'd quiried to myself.

My attention was suddenly focused on the yacht club across the canal. A small band was performing next to the sailors, in a rather slow instrumental beat. Then, the music began to turn somber, and it was at that moment I'd realized what was going on...

The yacht club was holding a military funeral for one of their own - at the same time a wedding was taking place on the other side of the canal!

I should've taken it as an omen, when the groom was asked, "Do you, Hector Duprey, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?..." at the exact moment a trumpeter at the yacht club began playing "Taps"!

I was trying to ignore the depressing music across the waterway, putting out of my mind the conductor's made-up monologue, and even the fact that Paco was seated next to my sister under the gazebo. After all, they ARE the biological parents of Corynne, and this was HER moment to shine...

Then, I got distracted by one more thing.

As the couple began to recite their respective (improvised) vows, I saw a black spider (about the size of my thumbnail) climbing up and down one of the gazebo's vertical posts. Apparently, it accidentally got tangled in a piece of the white linen ribbon decoration, and it was struggling to find a way to escape from it.

"I know exactly how you feel, buddy."

Well, the spider did manage to free itself from the linen, but now presented a new problem: It was now crawling on the back of Cousin Lisa's blouse!

I wanted to alert Lisa about the arachnid's proximity to her body, without freaking her out. So, I'd leaned over and whispered in her ear...

"Er, Lisa?..."

"Oh, NOW you remember who I am!" she whispered back.

"There's something on your blouse..."

"I'll brush it off after the ceremony. I want to see Corynne and Hector get hitched!"

At that moment, the situation intensified, when the spider got to the bottom of the blouse and went underneath - trapped between that garment and Lisa's dress...

I couldn't 'sugar-coat' things anymore, and finally blurted it out, softly...

"You've got a spider on your blouse!"

My cousin's eyes widened, as she looked behind and quickly attempted to brush the bug off of her person. She panicked, but at least she panicked quietly (so as not to start a riot)!

She eventually knocked off the spider, who landed on the ground, and chose an unorthodox hiding place: poised where the edge of the gazebo's shadow and the sunlight met. Lisa didn't bother to step on it, as she wanted to watch the end of the wedding ceremony. So she turned back towards the couple at the altar...

"I pronounce you husband and wife," said the conductor. And the silence of that moment was follow by a cacophony of clicking cameras and smartphones, followed by a round of applause for the newlyweds.

Now that the main event was over, I'd felt a sense of relief. I could now properly hang around with some of my long-lost relatives and mull over the past with them... both there in the park, and later on during the reception (which was a much shorter walk away from the gazebo than I'd thought).

(To be continued...)

As a followup to a previous journal from three months ago ("More Zootopia News"), here are the latest bulletins surrounding Disney's award-winning animated feature...

- - - - - - - - - -
First, in an update about the 'Mouse Factory' being sued by screenwriter Gary Goldman for supposedly stealing his idea for "Zootopia", U.S. District Judge Michael Fitzgerald claimed that Goldman had not provided enough sufficient evidence to justify the case; Ergo, all charges against Disney were dropped. For more info about this case, visit the ZNN link at http://www.zootopianewsnetwork.com/.....a-lawsuit.html

Meanwhile, besides the usual rumors about the success of "Zootopia" leading to a possible movie sequel and/or an animated TV series (in the next decade), a new rumor has spread about a proposed "Zootopia Land" section for Disney World's Animal Kingdom. theme park in Orlando. You can learn more about it by going to this link: http://www.chipandco.com/zootopia-l.....ingdom-273884/

Finally, as far as merchandising is concerned, the latest "Zootopia" wares scheduled to turn up include a "Junior (Graphic) Novel" of the film - which will also appear in an anthology called "Disney Animal Journeys Comics Treasury" (both published by Joe Books, Inc.) - due out later this year... and for those of you who had missed out on getting the individual 'Nick Wilde' and 'Judy Hopps' Christmas tree ornaments (sold exclusively at Target stores) last December, Hallmark (who'd manufactured them) will have a new ornament with 'Nick & Judy' together - as part of their Keepsake Ornament collection - to be sold at participating Hallmark greeting card stores, starting on Saturday, July 15, 2017.

Following our lavatorial duties, Glenn and I finally got dressed in our respective wedding formal wear. My brother also had a white button-down shirt with black pants, and was tempted to wear his cap with a pair of Oakley® shades (resting on the visor), but he decided not to get on Rhonda's bad side that morning - following the 'tongue-lashing' she gave me...

Sis had long since been dressed for the big event, finishing her attire with a special pair of dress shoes which made her look stylish. However, she would also carry a pair of 'flats' she would need to drive her car with.

She was in the kitchen, feeding the dogs before preparing a light breakfast for us (consisting of coffee, onion rolls, and desserts from a local bakery.

Going into my carry-on suitcase, I added the final enhancement to my own wedding wardrobe, three pieces of jewelry: my Elmont Memorial High School "Class of '72" graduation ring, a necklace with two fish on the pendent (signifying my zodiac sign Pisces), and a special ring (Mom had made for me back in the late 1960s - when she had a job at a jewelry store in the Bronx) that spelled out my first name in upper- and lower-case letters. I haven't worn them (for any occasion) in over a quarter of a century.

Erica, the sister of the bride, had to leave the house first, as she had to deliver a special centerpiece for the reception - that she had spent a whole month working on. It was a replica of a hot-air balloon (adorned with white and silver studs in an intricate design), suspended over a box with a slot on top (for the many envelopes the newlywed couple would receive from friends and family alike) - which doubled as the balloon's gondola.

Following breakfast (and one last opportunity for the Papillons to 'do their business'), the three siblings piled into the SUV and drove off for East Rockaway (and the home of future bride and groom Corynne and Hector). Taking a short cut through a variety of side streets, Rhonda was going to make sure not to make the same mistake she'd made the night before (and get blocked by the local police from getting to he destination), by going further west on Sunrise Highway.

Pulling up in front of the home, we left the envelopes (for the reception centerpiece) in the SUV, and entered through the front door. Climbing one flight of stairs to the living room, the three of us encountered family members (on both sides) - making their own last-minute preparations.

Among the attendees was Corynne's biological father (and my ex-brother-in-law) Paco, standing by a table in his formal wear, calmly sipping a cup of coffee.

Any other time, I'd avoid Paco like the plague - for leaving my sister and her family, so many years ago. But, for the sake of my niece (whose special day I'd promise not to ruin), I approached him in an attempt to 'make nice' with him...

"Hi," I said to Paco.

"Hey there!" he replied, reaching out to shake my hand.

"So, when did you arrive at JFK from Spain?"

"I didn't. I arrived at LaGuardia from Portugal."

"I see... Didn't they have a huge wildfire in that country?"

"Yep... The worst one in the country's history."

"I thought you were from Spain."

"I am from Spain. The flight to America costs less from Portugal."

"Oh."

Eventually, I'd focused my attention on Corynne, who was having her hair done on the other side of the room.

I then asked Paco, "Isn't it supposed to be 'bad luck' to see the bride before the wedding?"

"That only applies to the groom. It's OK for the rest of the family to see her."

"Uh-huh... I'll see you later."

Entering the kitchen, just to get a glass of water, I came across Rhonda, and before I had a chance to tell her about my first encounter with Paco in years, she interrupted me with a last-minute change of plans...

"We have too many guests and not enough cars," she explained. "You and Glenn will have to walk to the area where the wedding ceremony takes place."

"How far away is that?"

"Oh, it's only five blocks from here."

"FIVE BLOCKS?!"

"Hey, you two walked from Times Square to the Freedom Tower the other day. Another five blocks from here isn't going to kill you!"

After a moment of silence, I said "You're right, Sis. I'll get Glenn and tell him about it, while you drive the others to the wedding."

Luckily, Glenn was already outside, watching some of the other family members take pictures of one another - including one dude dressed up in blue… blue jacket, blue pants, blue hat, and even blue shoes...

It took me just a few seconds to suddenly realize that the 'blue boy' was the groom himself, Hector!

"Oh, this is going to be one helluva wedding!" I'd thought to myself, as I'd approached Glenn - to relay the message Rhonda passed along to me...

(To be continued...)

On the night before the big wedding day, my sister Rhonda asked me to show her the clothing I'd be wearing for the occasion. So, I took them out of my suitcase...

My attire consisted of a white button-down shirt, a pair of black pants (with a matching belt), and a pair of black dress shoes. And since buying them (at a Ross discount store in Margate) back in May, I'd only worn said attire twice: once at a cemetery in Miami-Dade County, and the other time at a Memorial Day ceremony near my home.

Needless to say, Sis spotted the only stain on the shirt (a tiny drop of barbecue sauce, from a rack of ribs I ate at a restaurant [after attending the burial at the cemetery], which I'd tried to wash off with soap and water from the Men's room), and numerous wrinkles on the pants (from improperly packing it).

Once again, the spirit of our fastidious mother channeled itself through my sibling, as Rhonda chewed me out about how crudely I take care of my clothes...

(To this day, I still remember the time Mom blamed me for her receiving the only 'moving violation' on a spotless traffic record in Florida - the day she was driving to a hospital, with me sitting next to her in the front of the car. She was so upset with me, for wearing a pair of brown dress shorts with so many wrinkles on it, she failed to notice the flashing School Zone sign, and got a citation for doing 30 in a 15 M.P.H. zone.)

"You're going to ruin this wedding, Jed. Mark my words," Rhonda ranted, as she took my shirt and pants upstairs, in an attempt to iron them both before she turned in for the night.

It was bad enough she gave me hell for the incident at the hibachi/sushi restaurant hours ago, without her finding a new excuse to lambaste me before bedtime. To compound matters, it was Glenn's turn to sleep on the living room couch, while I had to sleep on the air mattress on the floor. As an added 'poke in the eye', the air conditioner kept me awake all night - by constantly turning itself on and off every two-to-three minutes. I could easily sleep to the silence, or to the droning of the AC, but not to BOTH! Not to mention the fact that we didn't even need the air conditioner on in the first place; it was in the sixties outside, and all my bro and I needed was the screen door to the back yard to keep us cool!

By early Sunday morning, June 25th, the 'final insult' occurred when I was kept even more awake by Glenn's snoring at 5 AM!

(I'm not ashamed to admit that I, myself, have a 'sleep apnea' problem, but when everyone else is in denial about their snoring, it drives me stark raving mad!)

"WOOF!"

And now, Zipper (the 20-year-old Papillon) wants to go outside to "do his business". (And at his age, he sounds like an old man doing a poor imitation of a dog barking.)

"WOOF!"

So, as long as I was already awake, I rolled off the air mattress, went to the screen door, opened it, and let Zipper out. It was very quiet outside, so I stepped of the house, sat on a small chair in the patio, and watched the dog slowly wind his way on the grass - lifting his right leg every minute or so.

By the time I let Zipper back into the house, it was nearly 6 AM, as sunlight enveloped the whole neighborhood. Now, the other two Papillons (Estrella and Chewy) came down from the second floor, each one also wanting a turn to go outside. Now, I had a gig as a doorman for these incontinent canines - letting them out and in every once in a while...

Finally, Rhonda came downstairs, carrying my shirt and pants (freshly ironed and placed on separate hangers) in one hand.

"I hope you slept well," she told me. "I was barely able to sleep myself with all your snoring!"

"That wasn't me," I responded. "That was Glenn!"

"Bull!" retorted Glenn, who was finally awake. "Your snoring kept me awake, too!"

"You were TOO snoring, Glenn... punctuated with an occasional mumble!"

"I don't mumble in my sleep!"

"Then either it was one of the dogs, or this house is haunted!"

"Look," said Rhonda, "I don't have time to argue with you two... Jed, you have thirty minutes to shave and shower. Glenn, you go next, before Paul (my roomer) has access to the bathroom. Now, get moving!"

Reluctantly, I pulled out some clean white underwear and black socks from my suitcase, as I made my way to the bathroom - thinking to myself, "The sooner I can get out of Wantagh's answer to 'The Amityville Horror', the sooner I can get to the wedding."

"WOOF!"

Now, Zipper is barking for his breakfast...

(To be continued...)

Well, we're halfway through 2017, and as the month of July begins, I hope to resume posting material in my "FA" site shortly. (I know that I will be able to transfer my 'photo-ops' from earlier this year into my 'Scraps' section.)

I hadn't been able to post all-new art and 'photo-ops' for the last few weeks, due to the fact that my home computer has been down. In lieu, I was using a tablet to print out texted material - mainly, new journals. (And I will continue my "Return to New York" series this month - which will feature the wedding of my niece Corynne and one more trek into Manhattan for another reunion with a friend I hadn't seen in over twenty years.)

I hope to finally obtain a replacement PC this month and begin to post my material again, ASAP; So, please be patient...

My sister Rhonda arranged for the flight to and from Fort Lauderdale Airport for Glenn and I. As for accommodations, we'd spent the entire week staying at her Wantagh (Long Island) home - which she shares with her three Papillon dogs, her daughter Erica, and Paul (in a rented room) with his children. Ergo, it's "first come, first served" at the bathroom!

And as for sleeping arrangements, my bro and I both slept in the living room, taking turns on alternate days: I'd slept on the couch, while Glenn slept on an inflatable air mattress. Two days later, the roles would be reversed, and so on.

Meals were simplified: Rhonda would prepare breakfasts for all of us (consisting of coffee, a choice of rolls and/or bagels [with butter or jam], and scrambled eggs). It was later in the day when Sis would treat us out for lunch or dinner.

Upon our arrival on Wednesday, June 21st, Rhonda treated us out to White Castle (slider) burgers in Rockville Centre; on Thursday, our repast consisted of Kosher cuisine (mainly, pastrami and corned beef sandwiches) from a deli in Baldwin; and on the Saturday evening before the wedding, members on both sides of the bride and groom's families were invited to dine at a hibachi/sushi restaurant in East Rockaway.

I was wearing my black "Weird Al" Yankovic T-shirt and camouflage shorts at the time, when my sister approached me and morphed into our late mother...

"I want to make a good impression with the groom's family," she said, "so don't do anything to embarrass me."

(This was a throwback to the day I went to my very first wedding ceremony - back in the 1960's - when Mom also didn't want me to embarrass her. She didn't want me to bring my camera to take pictures in the church; So, I didn't... while all of the other relatives did! I never felt so left out in my whole young life!)

"I won't do or say anything, Sis. What are you worried about?"

"You're going to lapse into one of you bad habits, like scratching your head involuntarily."

"Then, I'll just wear my cap to cover my hair, so I can't possibly scratch it."

"You can't wear your cap. We are eating indoors!"

Why is it that wherever I go, my life suddenly turns into a Neil Simon comedy?!

Complying with my sister's wishes, I went to the hibachi eatery sans cap, and tried to refrain from scratching my head...

Of course, the car ride from Wantagh to East Rockaway was also tantamount to a Neil Simon scenario, too.

With my sister behind the wheel, Rhonda took short cuts through various suburban neighborhood - expecting to get to the restaurant in record time.

But as soon as we were about to turn a corner - two blocks from our intended destination, there was a police barracade put up and several fire engines down the street. And every time we went to the next block there were more barracades placed to keep motorists out.

Long story short, we found out that a local parade was about to take place. And the only way we could get to the hibachi/sushi restaurant was to go back the way we came (now in heavy traffic), to Sunrise Highway, and drive further west to a turn-off west of the parade route...

Then, once we got to the eatery, we saw that front parking area was packed; So we had to go to the rear area, where there was more adequate space. But we couldn't get around the south side of the building, because another SUV was parked in the Fire Lane, blocking our way. It took another five minutes to find an alternate route to the rear parking area.

(I would later take down the make and model of the vehicle, and its license plate number, and reported it to one of the waiters. Of course, knowing my luck, that SUV probably belonged to the eatery's manager.)

Eventually getting inside, we entered a downstairs dining area - where the rest of our party was patiently waiting for us.

Sure enough, true to the ongoing Neil Simon theme, my brother Glenn sat next to me, wearing his cap with his Oakley® sunglasses resting on its visor. And the groom-to-be Hector wearing a cab driver's cap on his noggin. And neither one of them took theirs off!

To further add emotional 'salt in my wound', the hibachi meal consisted mostly of shellfish (crabs, clams, shrimp, etc.), which I'd long since given up, ever since a similar dining experience resulted in my having an angina attack. And the sauces for that meal were saturated with MSG (monosodium glutamate) - which I am allergic to. So, the chefs in the kitchen had to prepare a separate, non-lethal dinner for me.

The final insult came after dessert (which, thankfully, was not life-threatening). Returning to the parking lot, I was about to converse with my ex-brother-in-law (and the biological father of the bride) Paco - who I'd not seen since 1994 (long before he'd split up with Rhonda). Naturally, because of the impending wedding, I was going to speak to him on good terms...

But before I could say a single word to him, Sis intervened.

"Get in the car, Jed!"

"Why?"

"You're embarrassing me!"

"How can I embarrass you? I was on my best behavior all during dinner."

"You've got white flaky stuff all over your black T-shirt!"

Thoroughly frustrated by the day's activities, I must've involuntarily scratched my head during my meal.

"Well, this wouldn't have happened, if you'd let me wear my cap, like the others had done!"

"Just get in the car!"

Can you believe this?! My sister is about to turn 65 in September, I'd just turned 63 back in March, and yet she still treats me like a five-year-old (just like our late mother)!

I was so upset, I'd felt like venting out my suppressed anger on that SUV - that was still illegally parked in the Fire Lane - by taking out the keys to my Margate, Florida condo, and scrawling out a profanity on its hood...

But I refrained from doing it, as I didn't wish to ruin the weekend for my niece and her husband-to-be. And besides that, there would plenty of time for more disasters (a la Neil Simon) to occur at the impending wedding - less than 24 hours from now...

(To be continued...)


I'd refrained from doing it, as I didn't wish to ruin the weekend for my niece and her future husband. And besides, there was going to be plenty of time for more disasters to occur (a la Neil Simon) on the wedding day, less thanthan than 24 hourstime for more disasters to occur on the wedding

Reuniting at the corner of 42nd Street and 8th Avenue, my brother Glenn and I resumed our trip around Manhattan. (Glenn told me about the great time he had, seeing planes, boats, and submarines on board the Intrepid, a.k.a. the Air & Space Museum. And I'd told him the great time I had, seeing my friend Joe Strike for the first time in several years.)

We walked east towards Times Square, when Glenn recognized the building known as One Times Square (formerly, the Allied Chemical Building), and wanted to take a picture of the pole at the top (where an illuminated ball would drop on December 31st, ushering in the New Year). Of course, I'd tried to refrain my bro from using his smartphone to waste his shot...

"This is the back of the building," I'd told him. "The ball dropped at the front."

Sure enough, when I'd led Glenn to 43rd Street, he saw said ball (and the year '2017' beneath it) at the top of the front of One Times Square, and finally took the picture.

While in the area, there was a live demonstration of martial arts (tai kwan do, karate, etc.) by a number of juvenile students. And nearby, several tented kiosks were set up to promote the 2018 Winter Olympics in Korea - including one that had a pair of costumed version of two of the impending games' mascots (a brown bear and a white tiger), which I took pictures of with my disposable camera. (And believe me, if you've ever visited Times Square, it's a helluva lot better than the poorly designed costumes of such familiar characters like 'Mickey Mouse', 'Winnie the Pooh', 'Elmo', etc., wandering around for tourists to have a 'photo-op' with!)

From there, my sibling and I began to walk down Broadway - deciding not to take the subway, but to go all the way to the Freedom Tower on foot...

Eventually, Glenn began to show signs of hunger - having not finding the time to eat anything while at the Air & Space Museum - so we found a pizza parlor halfway between Times Square and Herald Square, and ate a light dinner (two slices of pizza apiece and iced tea). We even sat at a table next to a TV, tuned to the ABC affiliate; so, we got to watch "Eyewitness News" while we dined (just like the good old days, when we both lived in Elmont, New York, and watched television in the den while eating).

Continuing our lengthy stroll down Broadway, we'd passed by (the flagship) Macy's Department Store, the Flatiron Building, and the Farmer's Market in Union Square. I'd made a brief stop at Forbidden Planet - a comic book store I used to frequent on past trips to Manhattan (during the 1980s and 1990s) - while Glenn checked out a vinyl record store just around the corner from it. Then, we began to zigzag down side streets in Greenwich Village - passing through Washington Square Park (where Glenn took pictures of the park's symbolic archway, and a squirrel on a bench (I was able to coax over, by wiggling my fingers). Then, we walked through SoHo and Little Italy - and we saw some interesting new structure built in lower Manhattan - including an apartment complex that looked like it was built with pieces from a game of Jenga!

Finally, we arrived at our intended destination, the Freedom Tower. We first took (respective) pictures of the "9-11 Memorial" - a giant square hole where one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center once stood (complete with the names of the nearly 3,000 people who perished on that tragic day). Then, we'd entered the 1,776-foot-tall structure itself, paid our admission fees, went through a 'security point', and took the elevator to the observatory floors. Long story short, the view from there was absolutely spectacular! (Although, that day, the skies were a tad overcast, to the point that we could barely see the NY skyline only as far north as midtown Manhattan.) We went around the perimeter of the lowest floor, taking pictures with our respective photographic equipment.

The most surprising view was northbound, when we each saw the bright lights of the billboards from Times Square - not realizing, until that very moment, that we actually walked all that way down to the Freedom Tower, mere hours ago!

Eventually, we took the elevator back down to ground level, and prepared to walk to the nearest subway station, to catch an 'E' train back to Penn Station... when we'd discovered that it began raining outside! Luckily, a building employee gave us instructions on how to get to a lower level concourse plaza, leading to a subway platform where the 'E' train was at its starting point. It was an equally long walk, but (at least) we didn't get wet.

On the way to the subway station, we saw a replica of Michelangelo's "Sistine Chapel" ceiling painting in the lobby of the plaza, and a floor mosaic work of art with a giant eye surround by various stars in the midst of several constellations.

We caught the 'E' train just in time, as we were starting to be surrounded by a plethora of noisy male passengers - some of them wearing tank tops, while others were 'topless' altogether.

"They must've been playing 'Shirts vs. Skins' at a nearby basketball court," I'd thought to myself.

As it turned out, it was a large group of gay tourists, who were in town for the annual "Pride March" (that was scheduled to take place in the 'Big Apple' on Sunday, June 27th).

Getting out at our Penn Station stop, Glenn and I went to the L.I.R.R. section, to catch our train back to Wantagh. I was walking well ahead of my sibling to get to the necessary platform. (He's the more physically fit of the two brothers - doing morning exercises in his Margate, Florida condo - and yet I was further ahead - having had previous experience taking long walks in Manhattan, when we were still living in Elmont, New York back in the 1980s.) When I'd turned around, Glenn wasn't there! I was worried that he got lost; so I stood in the lobby outside of the platform, and hoped that he would find his way back to me...

As it turned out, he stopped off at a concession stand to buy two bottles of Smart Water® - one for himself and one for me - to keep us both hydrated. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the main word on the plastic bottle - Sparkling - which meant that the water was slightly carbonated (and even had electrolytes). Glenn completely forgot that I'd stopped drinking carbonated beverages back in 2001, when I had an angina attack from eating coconut shrimp, washed down with cans of Coca-Cola®. (I'd given up soda and shellfish since then.) We got into a big argument as a result...

"The water may be 'smart', but not YOU!" I'd yelled at Glenn...

We sat quietly, opposite each other on the L.I.R.R. train, for the duration of the trip to Nassau County. After our sister Rhonda picked us up at the Wantagh station, we began to tell her about our respective New York experiences - leaving out the last-minute disaster at Penn Station. Eventually, Glenn and I would laugh at that moment, as we would begin to get ready for the next exiting episode of our return to New York: namely, the wedding of our niece Corynne and her groom-to-be Hector...

(To be continued...)

On the morning of Friday, June 23rd, my brother Glenn and I got up late, and were already behind schedule for our visit to New York City (for the first time in years).

After a quick breakfast (of onion rolls and coffee), our older niece Erica drove us to the L.I.R.R. station in Wantagh, where we'd lucked out in getting the necessary round-trip 'off-peak hour' tickets, within minutes of the train's arrival. (For the record, this was only the second time - since the mid-1980s - that I'd ever commuted via the Long Island Railroad.)

We'd reached Penn Station in midtown Manhattan by a little after 11:00 AM, as we began to walk north on 8th Avenue. I'd recognized the Port Authority Bus Terminal at 42nd Street, as we continued on our way to a special destination. We finally got to an area between 46th and 47th Streets, where our late father (Joaquin Martinez) ran a restaurant/bar called the Café Barcelona. Sadly, the building where it was situated was replaced with a 30-story-tall office building. Nevertheless, Glenn and I took photos of the replacement structure (I, with my disposable camera, and Glenn, with his smartphone).

At this point, my sibling and I went off in different directions. Glenn went west to the Hudson River, where he took in the Air & Space Museum on board the Intrepid, while I headed east towards Times Square (which I haven't been to since the early 1990s)...

While walking through this major thoroughfare, I'd checked the texting feature of my cellphone, because I was planning to reunite with an old friend of mine: namely, Joe Strike - who I haven't seen since his last visit to Margate, Florida several years ago.

Several blocks later, Joe and I met in front of the New York Public Library (and even had someone take a picture of us - with my camera - in front of one of the library's legendary lion statues). We eventually walked two blocks south to a Panera Bread restaurant, where we had lunch, while mulling over old times (such as the monthly get-togethers at the Polish Democratic Club in lower Manhattan, where he and I - as well as Speet!, JayShell, et al - used to see Japanese anime, and "talk shop" about 'funny animal' business, including impending material for the APAzine "Rowrbrazzle").

After lunch, Joe and I walked back towards Times Square, where we checked out The Disney Store (which didn't have anything of interest for me to buy - although I would've jumped at an impulse buy, had they any new "Zootopia" wares in stock). We then headed east towards Rockefeller Plaza, where we took a short cut through the main floor of the NBC studios. I'd even pointed out the exact location where I had the rare (and only) opportunity (back in the early 1980s) to meet legendary voice actor Mel ('Bugs Bunny') Blanc and got his autograph in a magazine called "The World of Yesteryear" - in which Mr. Blanc was the cover story.

Behind 30 Rock was the area of the ice rink (which, because it was Summer, was now full of chairs and dining tables), and in the spot where the great Christmas tree would be lit sat (in its place) a three-story-tall inflatable ballerina figure (which I took a picture of, natch). From there, Joe and I parted company; but we promised to continue to keep in touch - either via "FA" inbox, "Facebook" messenger, or (if absolutely necessary) text via our respective cell phones.

Heading back in a zigzagging southwesterly direction, I'd returned to the corner of 42nd Street and 8th Avenue (and the aforementioned bus terminal), where I would wait for Glenn to return from the Intrepid, and we would continue the rest of our New York adventure together...

(To be continued...)

For the first time since 1994, I am returning to the state of New York - mainly to attend the impending wedding of my niece Corynne and her betrothed Hector (both of whom I'd last seen in person - at the home of one of the groom-to-be's relatives in Orlando, Florida last January)...

It also marks the first time since July, 2001 I'd flown north from south Florida. (Back then, I was attending "AnthroCon" - when it was still being held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.)

On Wednesday, June 21st, my brother Glenn and I took a Delta commercial jet from Fort Lauderdale International Airport - with tickets acquired by our sister Rhonda - leaving at about 12 Noon, and arriving at JFK Airport before 3:00 PM. Rhonda picked us up, and drove us to the Rockville Centre home of Corynne and Hector - where we hung around for several hours (and had freshly-cooked White Castle hamburgers for dinner).

Later on, Rhonda drove us to her own residence in Wantagh (which she shares with her daughter - and my other niece - Erica), and we were greeted by her three Papillon dogs, 'Estrella', 'Chewy', and 'Zipper' (the latter of which having just turned 20 years young, earlier this month). My bro and I slept in the living room - I, on the couch, and Glenn on an air mattress.

On Thursday, June 22nd, Rhonda prepared a light breakfast (of scrambled eggs, English muffins, and coffee) for the four of us, and dog food for the Papillon trio. Afterwards, Glenn and I helped our Sis do a little shopping at some 'dollar stores' (including some stuff we forgot to pack for our trip: shaving cream for me, and a toothbrush and mouthwash for Glenn). Then, Rhonda drove us to Merrick, where we took in Norman J. Levy Park - which had (among its attractions) a collection of live goats, a pier overlooking a waterway north of Jones Beach, and an elevated section on top of a hill with an accurate 'human sundial' feature, numerous birdhouses, and a telescope (where visitors can see the New York City skyline - including the Empire State Building, the Freedom Tower, and the Verrizano-Narrows Bridge).

Later on, we stopped off to pick up a take-out dinner (of pastrami and corned beef sandwiches and potato knishes) at the Pastrami King deli. Back at Rhonda's home, while dining on the kosher meal, Glenn and I had already discussed our plans to take in the 'Big Apple' on Friday, June 23rd - using the L.I.R.R. (Long Island Railroad) as our transportation to Penn Station in midtown Manhattan...

(To be continued...)

Today (June 10, 2017), my brother Glenn Martinez turns 60 years young. And I hope to make his special day even more special.

Among my presents, I'll be giving him several Beatles-related items (including a Blu-Ray disc of Ron Howard's award-winning documentary "Eight Days a Week") and a pair of Powerball lottery tickets for tonight's drawing (which is estimated at $435 million)...

And I'll be treating him out to dinner at the Broward County (FL) restaurant of his choice. (Of course, now that my bro has hit "the big six-oh", the best present of all for him is getting all sorts of 'senior discounts' - no matter where he eats or shops!)

And later this month, the two of us will be celebrating his milestone out-of-state, as we will be heading for Long Island (NY) - to attend the wedding of our niece Corynne! So, if you don't see any new data from me in this site later this month, you'll know why...

It's been nearly three weeks since my home PC bit the dust, and it might take several more weeks before I can obtain a replacement for it...

Until that moment occurs, I will be using a handheld tablet. I won't be able to post any art or photos in my "FA" site, but I will find the time to add new favorite pieces of art from others, as well as providing all-new 'shouts' and 'comments'.

So, please be patient till I resume my normal "FA" format. Thank you 'furry' much!

For those of you who are wondering what became of me (having not seen any new submissions from me in over a week), my home computer conked out. So, until I can get a replacement console for my PC, I can only use computers found in one of the public libraries in Broward County, Florida. Regrettably, these computers have blocked me out of "Fur Affinity" (due to the mature material from some of the site's other contributors).

So, please be patient with me. I will return with all-new art and photos... Promise!

May, 2017 has a lot of special events going on. For starters, it's "National Burger Month" (which I know you 'fat furry' fanatics revel in); and the first seven days honors "Be Kind To Animals Week". Other occasions include "Cinco de Mayo" in Mexico (May 5th), Mother's Day (May 10th in Mexico; May 14th in America, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand), Armed Forces Day (May 20th), Victoria Day in Canada (May 22th), Ramadan (May 27th), and Memorial Day (May 29th)...

May, to me, is equally special as it's my latest 'sweeps month' (just like the one the major TV networks - CBS, ABC, NBC, and Fox - observe). So, I'll try to grab as much attention as possible, with lots of new material to share with you...

Among the imagery, I'll have a few new "EFF" ("Extraordinarily Fat Furries") comic gags - including the continuation of my "...Acronym" series, and a (belated) "...Limerick" gag (original intended for "National Poetry Month" in April); plus a commemorative image in celebrating my 130,000th page visit (last month) - possibly, in the form of another edition of "Whose Belly Is That?!". I'll also attempt to post some word puzzles with an animal theme (of which I have a few ideas in mind). I'll have a lot more 'photo-ops' from my brother Glenn's smartphone, but I hope to post some snapshots I'd taken on my own, too...

I'd been very lax on presenting my journals lately, so I hope to present a lot more of them during May (including another set of links to some new 'animal commercials', the latest furry news in "Fur-One-One", and more personal observations of my [so-called] life).

All that, and much, much more during my latest 'sweeps month'. So hang in there!

About four months ago, I'd posted a journal designed for those of you who like to see all sorts of fattened animals - https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7960027/ - and now, it's time for me to present a second edition of "Fat Furry News" - loosely based on my semi-regular column for the "Fat Furs Mailing List", a Yahoo! group...

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IDEAL GIFTS: At (participating) Target stores, you'll find in their toy department Fatimals - a collection of rubber wacky bouncing balls shaped like four inflated critters (a tiger, a shark, a snake, and an alligator) - which would make a great gift for the 'fat furry' fanatic in your life. Check them out!

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'FAT FAUNA' IN THE FUNNIES: Last time, I'd posted a list of links to various syndicated comic strips with many corpulent characters in them (whether the main character is already fat, or fattened in a one-shot gag). And I have a lot more of them to share with you...

One of my current favorite strips is "Girth" by Steve Powell, the misadventures of an aging, overweight dog. Sometimes, the comic revolves around the dog's 'real world' (walking on all fours, and interacting with other animals), and other times, we see 'Girth' drawn as an anthropomorphic character (walking on twos - barely keeping his big belly from scraping the ground - and interacting with humans). Found in the "Comics Sherpa" section of the "GoComics" site, you can check out "Girth" strips at this link:

www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=csbjw

...and click 'Previous' to check out the paunchy pooch's past strips.

Here now are an assortment of additional links to more 'fat fauna' in the funny pages - most of them from "GoComics" and "ComicsSherpa". Get your fill of them!

"Dog Eat Doug": www.gocomics.com/dogeatdoug/2017/04/25
"Eek!": www.gocomics.com/eek/2017/04/16
"Green Pieces":
1. www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?u.....;uc_full_date=20161109
2. www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?u.....;uc_full_date=20161118
3. www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?u.....;uc_full_date=20161129
"Over The Hedge":
1. www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/03/14
2. www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/03/21
3. www.gocomics.com/overthehedge/2017/04/10
"Pluggers":
1. www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/01/03
2. www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/03/30
3. www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/04/06
4. www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2017/04/26
"Pooch Cafe": www.gocomics.com/2017/04/23
"Rubes": www.gocomics.com/rubes/2016/12/31

And finally, one last offering from webcomic artist and "FA" regular Rick Griffin. In a recent edition of his strip "Housepets!", a plump squirrel refuses to play 'the blame game' (and who could blame him?)!

1. http://www.housepetscomic.com/comic.....-the-nuthouse/
2. http://www.housepetscomic.com/comic.....8/nuts-to-you/

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THIS JUST IN...: A recent news story (sent to me from Philip B. Smith of Reading, Pennsylvania) depicts an animal rescue involving a fat beaver (and wipe your mind out with soap) - who was stuck in a fence. Check it out:

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/20.....ton-fence.html

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If any of you would like to consider joining the "Fat Furs Mailing List", make contact at one of these two links:
fatfursmailinglist-subscribe[at]yahoogroups.com
fatfursmailinglist-owner[at]yahoogroups.com

I'll have more data later this year, so watch for upcoming journals...

"Fat Furry News": "Fur, unbalanced!"

Do any of you ever watch "Milo Murphy's Law" (on Disney Channel or Disney XD)? It's an animated series (from the creators of "Phineas & Ferb") about a teenager - voiced by 'Weird Al' Yankovic - from a family that is somehow cursed to have daily misfortunes of one sort or another. They are the Murphys of "Murphy's Law" fame - where "anything that can go wrong, does go wrong...

No matter how exaggerated said misfortunes are on the cartoon show, I can somehow identify with the characters, as I've been a victim of "Murphy's Law" from time to time, myself... and this week has been another one of those "Murphy's Law" weeks...

Last week, I got a visit from Assinio - who came down from Boynton Beach, Florida (where he's watching his mother's condo, while she takes a month-long vacation). We had a nice meal at Sweet Tomatoes in Pompano Beach, and discussed a plan for me to visit him this week - and possibly go to the Palm Beach Zoo in Dreher Park.

But, when I'd called him up, over the weekend (with the intended itinerary for the zoo trip), he was already out of state, to fulfill an obligation to some perform some work. And he won't be back until next week...

But that's not all that happened to me. Earlier this month, I'd already paid a quarterly maintenance fee for my condo (over $750 for a three-month period), and thought I didn't have to worry about owing them any more money until July... Suddenly, I had to deal with paying another enormous fee (over $850), to have the parking lot throughout the entire condo complex repaved... and I don't even have a car anymore! To add insult to injury, cars in the lot owned by 'snowbirds' (temporary residents from Canada and northeastern America) were moved behind my building. Now, instead of seeing grass, trees, and occasional wildlife (birds, lizards, squirrels, etc.), I get a makeshift parking lot view from my second-story back porch!

Of course, my misfortunes this week also included all things electronic, too...

On Monday, I'd saved over two dozen 'drafts' in my Yahoo! inbox - for upcoming E-mailings - all of which were on the top of the first page... But on Tuesday, they somehow got relocated elsewhere, while other drafts (some going as far back as 2006) got pushed to the top! They all were moved up at (or about) 5:30 AM that day; and my PC wasn't even turned on! I had to search all over the 'draft pages' just to find the latest messages I'd left on Monday. Hence, a delay in sending those aforementioned E-mailings to friends and family...

And also, on Tuesday morning, when I'd turned on my new HDTV, my Xfinity1 system wasn't working, so I couldn't get any Cable TV programming. A message on the screen instructed me to disconnect the cord from my Cable TV box for 10 seconds and plug it in again, in order to restore the system. When I went behind my entertainment center (for the first time in weeks) to follow these instructions, I'd discovered that the cord already WAS disconnected - with the plug located a few inches away from the power strip ! (The mystery is: if said cord was already unplugged, how the hell did I get Cable TV during all this time?!) I'd concluded that either (1) someone broke into my condo the night before to disconnect the cord, (2) my condo was infested with tech-savvy anthropomorphic mice, or (3) my condo is haunted!

(I'd brought this up with my counselor Luis Cedeno on Wednesday, and he theorized that maybe I was 'sleep-walking', and involuntarily unplugged the cord from the Cable TV box myself. Evidently, he hasn't been in my cluttered condo lately. For me to 'sleep-walk' from my bedroom to behind my entertainment center - maneuvering over piles of papers and material possessions between the two locations - it would be like running an entire obstacle course blindfolded! BTW, at the end of our session - held in the condo complex's clubhouse - a one-hour power outage occurred! Had I been in my condo - working on a new art piece on my PC - when the electricity unexpectedly shut down, residents in the neighboring building would've heard my screams!)

I should've taken it as an omen that things were going to go wrong for me this week, when I'd posted my latest "Front & Back" gag - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23209539/ - and predicted that a mishap in my life was impending (let alone a plethora of them). But, like the title song of "Milo Murphy's Law" implies, "It's my world, and we're all living in it!"

April is here... and that means "National Poetry Month", which means I hope to come up with a few brand new "EFF" comic gags - with either a limerick or a haiku about a 'fat furry' character. Also, inspired by a book of Disney "Tsum Tsum Haikus", I might attempt to create some illustrated haiku poems involving a few characters from "Zootopia" (which are still in development).

Of course, I'll also have one or two new "EFF Acronym" gags with other 'fat furs' from their respective "FA" creators, during the month...

A few years ago, I'd drawn, scanned, and posted two 'fat furry' parodies of characters created by children's author Thornton Burgess. Having bought a large collection of hardcover books by Burgess, I might attempt to draw, scan, and post a third parody in this series. (In a 'worst-case scenario', I might put off doing this until May, 2017 - my latest 'sweeps month'.)

Other regular images in my "FA" site will include a new "Front & Back" gag, another "Colorized Encore", and a "Throwaway Gag"...

Naturally, "Throwback Thursdays" will feature some new 'photo-ops' from me or from my brother Glenn. And upcoming journals will include another edition of "Fur-One-One" ('funny animal' news), and more reviews (and "YouTube" links) of TV commercials with all sorts of fauna in them.

All that, and much, much more in my "FA" site. So, stop by (from time to time) and check out the new material, whenever you can!

I've seen some more (American) TV commercials with animal characters (of one sort or another), which you can immediately view in "YouTube"...

I was hoping that one of them was going to be the newest spot for Symbicort, with the elderly wolf character taking his grandson to a playground, but (apparently) it hasn't been posted on the website yet.

Anyway, here are some more brand-names and the latest adverts (with animals) that you can see on "YouTube" (along with a link and a condensed synopsis of each one)...

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FLEXHOPPER.COM: "Warehouse Tricks" (:31): One of the newer TV ads that uses a dinosaur as its mascot is the site FlexHopper.com , and said mascot is 'T-Flex', a friendly CGI tyrannosaurus who gives advice on how to do your shopping (and money-saving) over the Internet - even though his arms are too short to reach for merchandise on higher selves! (In a one-minute spot - not posted in "YouTube" yet - 'T-Flex' uses his tail to obtain the hard-to-reach wares.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWG3JxW8fUA

LUNCHABLES: "Bed Shopping" (:30): In this newest spot, 'Platy' the platypus and 'Jacky' the jackalope are at a mattress store, looking for the perfect bed (...and get your minds out of the gutter; it's not that kind of suggestive scenario)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSx5nBsX_vw

XYZAL: Once again, an animated owl is a spokes-bird for a particular product. (In the past, owls represented spots for Tootsie-Roll Pops, America's Best [eyeglasses], and WGU [Western Governor's University].) This time, it's a more cartoony-looking CGI owl, as he promotes allergy-relief pills for both grown-ups and children.

"Adult Xyzal" (:31): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-irVc1l_RV
"Children's Xyzal" (:16): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a1lb0Ptnjl

GEICO: Finally, here are two more new ads for the 75-year-old insurance company (who deal with more than just cars). Continuing its 'Story Time' series of spots, the latest victim is one of the 'Three Little Pigs' (who has homeowner's insurance) - and this time, there's even a 'happy ending' for the wolf... And in the new series of 'Closer Look' spots, a conversation about how Geico can save you money is conducted by a bunch of animal bumper stickers on an RV (featuring a moose, a buffalo, a wolf, and a skunk).

"Three Little Pigs" (:30): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pldXoha1eo
"Bumper Stickers" (:37): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8tbzHB6Xoo

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As usual, if I'd made mistakes in any one of the above links, just go to the 'Home' page in "YouTube" and type the brand name of the product or service into the 'search' box at the top, in order to bring up the ads I'd been hyping.

I'll have more animal commercials to review later this year, so watch for them!