For a long time I've exists here on FA and tend to just keep focused this account on fetish furry content but I also run a blog over on tumblr that I use to post more human-centric content when the mood arises and that has been where I primarily interact and post for quite some time.

I'm tired of having feeling like I have two online personalities and want to put the two together for no other reason than to be able to share all I make with everyone.


The tumblr blog I run can be found here : https://www.tumblr.com/hypnozys

The content there is much more human oriented and focuses more on rubber and mind control but I've amassed a small following on there and want to share it with all of you too if you're interested.



I'm also trying to use twitter a bit more as well and you can find me there: https://twitter.com/RubberVecks


Hope you all have a good weekend and happy first day of fall!

On a side note, I've been on the lookout for a bluesky invite code. If any of you wonderful peeps have one of those laying around, hit me up :D

Hello all you lovelies. I hope you are all doing welland living your best lives. I figured that it was about time for another "I'm not dead, but life is life and here's what is going on with mine lately" post.


September Life 2023 Update

CAT

About a year ago I decided to pull the trigger and adopt a wonderful new addition to my family. She was just a little older than kitten I think (adoption center wasn't sure) but she has saved me from a lot of self destructive tendencies in the short time I've had her (we will get into that later).

Her name is Jellybean, although she prefers the name Princess.

She is the sassy little ball of fur that I didn't know I needed.

Hindsight : White cat and dark/black clothing...GREAT IDEA!


WORK

It's been a good while since I've posted one of these and while I'm pretty sure no one actually cares I find it rather cathartic to info dump my life from time to time.

Since I last posted an update about life, things have been interesting, fun, devastating and exciting. I can't really remember what all has happened 100%, but I'll hit the key points.

Beginning of last year I finally said to hell with my job of 10 years and started looking for something new. Between actively looking and having made good connections with my (then) current job. I received an offer to do pretty much the same job I was doing but making about 25% more to do it with the potential for advancement (one thing my other job was lacking with the position I was currently in).

It quickly turned into a "I simply can't say no" situation.

I could not be happier with that decision. While I can't say I love what I do, I do love the people I work with and the people I get to interact with. I'm still working there and don't see that changing at all in the near future.


HEALTH

As you may have known if you've paid attention to my ramblings long enough. I lost A TON of weight over the last handful of years and have managed to keep most of it off but it was creeping back up. This sent me into a bit of a depressive slump and those do wonders for willpower and accountability so it was quickly turning into a self destructive cycle set on repeat.

I recognized those patterns and knew I needed to get some external help to break out of it. I went and had a chat with my doctor and was put on Phentermine (Adipex) to see if getting that bit of weight loss back on track would fix my mental instability.

Holy cow did it ever. I mean like night and day difference. That helped me in ways that were completely unexpected and while getting my weight back down and under control was the goal. It opened up new dialog between me and my doctor. I explained how much it really helped me, not just with weight loss but overall mood/demeanor/etc, she mentioned that a lot of times ADHD can trigger depression like symptoms in people and the fact that a stimulant helped that much may be worth looking into that as well.

I've always been a person that's scoffed at medications for the most part in regards to mental issues and have managed 34 years without any so I was hesitant but even I couldn't deny the results in how I felt.

Long story short, I met with a very nice therapist and was officially diagnosed with ADHD and have been on meds for it. They are weaker than the adipex as far as strength but I can't deny that they are just enough to help me dwell on negativity I've battled with for so long. I've only been on it for a little over a month and only really take it on days that I feel like I'm going to need it, its been working pretty well.

There are a whole lot more little life events that happened, none of them are really worth a deep dive into so I'll abridge those.

-Had my gall bladder removed
-Learned how to change a tire from a complete stranger on the side of the road proving there is still some level of kindness left in the world.
-Moved into a bigger apartment
-Fell out of touch and then reconnected back with a good friend
-Made new friends
-Realized that things are never going to just fall into my lap. If I want something, I have to go get it.
-Deleted my Facebook because its literally just a platform to sell things now.
-I'm sure there are more but I cant think of them right now.


THE FURRY COMMUNITY AND MY PLACE IN IT

It has been quite a long time since I have truly interacted with the furry community as a whole and while it has been 100% my own doing. I truly miss connecting with people in this sphere. Most of you are truly wonderful people and I regret losing contact with all of you. I miss just randomly chatting about things we all enjoy socializing with you all.

I feel bad that most of the time when I try to reconnect with people and the conversation quickly turns into the same old "how are you, good, thats good" loop and then when I stop initiating conversations, they just disappear into the void.

I understand that I'm not the most interesting person in the world but I'd love to play a game with someone sometime, make some new friends or just talk shop for a while.

This issue isn't just on my personal side though. I rarely see the "fun" side of FA anymore. My uploads are flooded with patreons, ych, commissions and other copy paste posts selling things. Dont get me wrong, nothing wrong with making a living but thats ALL FA is nowadays. Gone are the people just spreading silly ideas or fun aspects or provoking any type of thought. It just feels hollow to what it used to be.

THE ART, THE HOBBY, THE TIMESINK

If you've followed me for any amount of time you can see that my upload schedule is....sporadic at the best of times and "hey did you die?" at the worst.

I have actually been almost constantly producing content or being involved in hobbies to some extent, I just don't feel like what I'm working on or making really is worth showing here. Maybe that's just a me issue.

I've been spending the last few years miniature painting and have steadily gotten more and more proficient at it. I've painted tons of models, done some commission work and really enjoy creating tiny works of art.

My painting wheelhouse pretty much are limited to tabletop gaming models rather than strictly artistic pieces. I find the game, the lore, the stories you make and the ones you can tell yourself through simply adding color and flavor to grey plastic.

I mainly play Games Workshop games nowadays but have dabbled in many games, systems, and genres.

I do still create other kink related things from time to time but most of it isn't really geared toward furry content so I rarely post if here unless there is a story I'm particularly happy with. I have a blog on tumblr that almost no one here knows exists (unless you happen to notice I post the same here and there occassionally).

I would love to start drawing again but I feel like I just never have the time to dedicate to it and often get frustrated with it when I can't satisfy my increasingly critical brain.

I just simply lack the time to grow the skills I feel like I need to make something worthwhile at this point. I may give it another go in the future but for now. Its just not something I can bring myself to dive into.

Besides that I still play video games so between gaming, irl friends, work, work again because it takes up that much time, painting and the occassional writing. I am stretched incredibly thin on free time to invest into people who never invest their time in me.

This got a bit rambley and if you made it here. Thank you.

I really want to reconnect with my old friends and make some new ones and know that moving forward I'm going to make an effort to be a more active presence.

Look out for a couple other posts from me that I dont want to get lost in this life post.

Until next time, take care and stay safe!

As I stated in my last journal, I've been in a drone-y mood lately and really wanting to channel that in a creative way and was wondering what kind of things you guys like to see.

What's your favorite type of drone transformation scenarios?

Mysterious emails with hypno spirals? Packages with a random gasmask? Alien hives? Mad scientists?

Hit me up, ignite that creative fire in that area I think my soul lives (you know, that area right below the waist and above the knees O.o)

Normally my favorite themes seem to cycle between a handful of things but I cant seem to get the idea of being a rubbery drone out of my head lately. It sounds incredibly fun to get reduced to an anonymous rubber entity with nothing but a number as identification and simply at the beck and call of a Master.

I'd ask if anyone else has such an urge but let's be honest. If you are seeing this you probably do too ;)

Just wanted to express the mood, take care all.

Hey guys! I just wanted to pop in and say hello to all of you and give a bit of an update (both for my own accountability and also to just toss it out there)

First off I'm trying really hard to be more active on here with content and flex my creativity and improve my skills.

I'm sure you noticed that I am writing more and I truly appreciate all the kind words in the comments on them and hearing about how much you all enjoy it. It really does help keep my motivation high to create them.

In addition to that I'm going to try and post at LEAST one new picture a month here. I work full time and have more hobbies than one person should but I want to improve and the only way to do that is to actually do it.

If you guys have any cool ideas for stories or pictures feel free to post them on here. I can't guarantee anything but I'm going to do my best.

tldr: I'm going to make more stuff, if you have any cool ideas you think I should try my hand at, post them below. Be as detailed or as vague as you want, hell throw in a ref sheet too for funsies. No guarantees though, I know better than that.

Hang on to your butts...this is a long one.

Hey guys, gals, furs and friends.
I know that I haven't been too active on here in quite some time and most of you I've fallen out of touch with and I wanted to say I'm sorry about that and try to give some context on where I've been in the past few...well...years at this point.

Let me start at way back in 2013 when I was at my peak activity on this site. I commissioned art whenever I could, was super active online, talked to anyone and everyone, be a strong and supportive shoulder for anyone who needed it and generally seemed like fairly well kept and well rounded person...
Seemed to be...

In all honesty, my life was spiraling out of control and I was diving harder and harder into this community as a means to escape from the real problems I was ignoring. I was doing everything in my power to get away from it all.

Those commissions were paid for with money that should have went to the piling up bills but I could't pay them anyway so what was the point, the chatting online was my only social outlet and the happy go lucky face everyone saw was just hiding the tears.

I tried to be there for everyone I talked to and many people I have later come to discover, that many people don't want help, they want to be miserable and only thrive when they spread it...and spread it they did.

While I believe that I surrounded myself mostly with great people, in an attempt to accommodate everyone, I let in the bad ones too.
While I wholeheartedly believe they had no ill intention, they still were just constant downers, nothing brought them up and in turn, could only bring me further down.
The further down I got, the deeper into the fandom and kink I got, which created nothing but a spiral that kept sucking me further and further down until it was a struggle to even get out of bed some days and I seriously considered ending it then and there.
Those thoughts scared me and I realized that I had to go into self preservation mode and shut myself from everything. I called it quits, disconnected my life and moved back home with my parents with my tail between my legs, defeated.

......

With the support of my parents, not knowing the true depths of the darkness I was trapped in, I was able to start clawing my way out of it.
It started with literally throwing my entire paycheck at my student loans just to be able make the lowest payment possible on them. The fact that I couldn't afford to not go to work forced me to be dependable and responsible at work and therefore led to me getting enough notice and recognition to get promoted.
More money meant a little more freedom. I still maintained my bills and never spent more than I had all the while taking the occasional moment to to reward myself with some restaurant food, or just in general junk food.

There comes the next problem.

As I continued to work my way up the ladder at work, with a handful of promotions and a little bit more freedom with my finances, I started turning those occasional rewards into a almost daily ritual. This caused my weight, which was already high to balloon out of control.

At my worst I could polish off a whole pizza, a package of cookies and multiple bottles of soda in a single sitting. I knew it was getting out of hand but I felt like diets were impossible and that so long as I didn't feel bad, I was fine. This was 100% denial on my part and it wasn't until I was having chest pains after eating anything and being unable to perform the simplest of activities without gasping for air that I realized that it I didn't recognize feeling bad because it was all I'd known. I went to the doctor and was crushed to see that I weighed roughly 400 pounds. This shattered my fragile and still recovering self esteem and I felt those dark talons start to pull me back.
This time was different though and out of either fear or determination, I refused to let myself fall back into that pit I'd worked so hard to get out of. I tried diet after diet, many failed before they took off unfortunately, but I persevered.

With the provocation of some of my coworkers and the support of my mother I started the keto diet, which has since blown up into a huge trend and I can absolutely understand why.
Someone wiser than I coined the phrase, "It's not a diet, its a lifestyle change that leads to success." and I cannot express how true that statement is.

I started this new journey one day with a fire under me and I hit the ground running (not literally, I weighed 400 lbs). I joined a gym and while I would barely walk at a snail pace for prolonged time. I kept at it and the sudden inspiration to do this diet was enough to keep me on it for a couple weeks.

Two to three weeks into it, I didn't feel any better and I still had zero stamina when it came to working out and I was about to throw in the towel when I realized that I had dropped over 10 pounds in that short time frame. That little win was enough to make me stick with it more and more and I cannot express how happy I am that I did so.
Over the past 2 years I have cut out sugar almost entirely and I have lost over 160 lbs and I am enjoying life to the fullest I can. This journey has been filled with ups and downs but I am so glad that I was able to experience it.

Now that I think I covered the story I wanted to share, let me tell you whats going on in my life right now.

I've gotten all but one of my student loans paid off and finally have enough money to move out of my parents and start my life proper. This is something I honestly never thought possible and it almost brings me to tears having this finally be real.

Starting October 1st, I will be flying solo for the first time in my entire life and while it is terrifying and stressful. I see it as a challenge I can confront head on rather than one that will break me.

In fact, my entire mindset has changed so much over these years that I am barely the person I used to be. I'm may worry a bit more over things and tend to overthink dumb things, but I realize that most things can work out if you apply yourself to a solution rather than wallowing in the impossibilities or the unfairness of it all.

That is one of the reasons I am writing this, to hopefully let at least one person know that it can be done. It's hard, might even seem impossible but I am living proof that it is not. Where there is a will there is a way and I hope that sharing my story will shine a light into someone's darkness and give them a mindset they might not have thought on.
I'm going to try to be more active towards people in general but I will not sit by and let someone drag me down nor will I constantly yip and their heels for attention. A friendship works both ways and while I'm always happy to talk, I refuse to be the only one who initiates any and all conversations.

I'm fine with talking furry kink rubber slave whatever, but I don't enjoy role-playing and would rather build long lasting friendships instead of one off jerk sessions (I can do that on my own).

Anyway, I thank you all for reading this and hope you have a fantastic morning/day/night/month/year

PS. If any of you would like to learn more about the keto diet and how it all works (I'm not an expert but I know enough to help) please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I'd be more than happy to share my knowledge to help someone else.

Until next time..thanks for reading and have a great one!

You cannot tell me that there isn't a single other person out there that is willing to say that RIOTS and LOOTING are bad things. Surely there is someone who thinks that INNOCENTS BEING MURDERED IN THE STREETS is wrong.

I mean you cannot fight something by committing the same horrendous actions.

Profiling and prejudice is 100% wrong for anyone to do to anyone!

Black people, white people, cops, civilians. It does not matter. If you, for even a second, feel hostility or ill will towards someone simply because of an insignificant aspect of their lives. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

Hate me, unfollow me, I dont personally care.


I hate that everything is devolving into madness and no one seems to realize it.

If you feel the urge to go express your outrage and frustrations, please please please PLEASE do it responsibly, safely and respectfully. Burning down innocent business owners establishments and murdering people is wrong. Regardless of which side of this you are on.

(Apologies for this being a bit ranty but honestly, I'm sick of it)

Just wanted to throw it out there. Do with it what you will :)

Hope you're all having a good day and take care!

Half looking for ideas, half general curiosity.

Tell me what you wanna see!