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New animated icon!
Posted 4 years agoThank you PalehornTea ! For the gif of Athena flying her Ace flag! <3
I'm definitely keeping this one up. It's awesome <3
I'm definitely keeping this one up. It's awesome <3
New Commission Process!
Posted 4 years agoI made a google doc with all my commission prices and even made a commission form :D
I'm going to be making this a featured journal so if people want to commission me, they can just use the form, all the prices are on the form as well <3
Really proud of this and I've made it as clear as possible so there's no confusion <3
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....UR6D2pTMzFgnM/
I'm going to be making this a featured journal so if people want to commission me, they can just use the form, all the prices are on the form as well <3
Really proud of this and I've made it as clear as possible so there's no confusion <3
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....UR6D2pTMzFgnM/
June 12th 2021-34th b-day
Posted 4 years agoI kept pretty close timeline tabs on today, because I was enjoying the day so much <3
8am-9am
Made breakfast-bacon, eggs, toast, been awake since about 6am.
11am-noon
Got "Fairy Godmother" gifts at my door. There was a knock, and when I opened it, there was gifts on a boot tray waiting for me outside. I broke down because it was so thoughtful/sweet. Got chocolates, popcorn, bath stuff, body spray, moisturizing lotion, new slippers, face masks, a loofah, bath bomb (a birthday one), and an assortment of other things, one being chapstick and a microfibre hair towel. Got a fluffy pig basket and a lot of the gifts came in a unicorn gift bag.
12:45pm-1:45pm
Hot bubble bath soak for about an hour. Now relaxing with a cup of peach party peace tea. Friend is buying me dinner so I don't have to cook <3
2:30pm
Opened window and put my fan on, it's hotter than I thought it would be, so I'm relaxing with music <3
3:30pm-9pm
Friend bought me dinner-Ginger Orange Salmon Rice bowl from a local restaurant along with a slice of one of my favorite cakes-Red Velvet. Ate the rice bowl, then crashed for a bit around 4pm-ish. Woke up at around 9pm, ate the cake.
That's been my day. The long intervals between things are because I've napped so, so much today because it's just been so relaxing and now it's closing in on midnight. Thanks to today, and doing heavy self-care, my anxiety has quietened for the time being. It's not shouting in my head and it's nice to not have intrusive thoughts for once or feel worthless.
This has been an amazing birthday, and I'm really, really glad to have done the things I did today to take care of my mind, body, and soul <3.
-Sam.
8am-9am
Made breakfast-bacon, eggs, toast, been awake since about 6am.
11am-noon
Got "Fairy Godmother" gifts at my door. There was a knock, and when I opened it, there was gifts on a boot tray waiting for me outside. I broke down because it was so thoughtful/sweet. Got chocolates, popcorn, bath stuff, body spray, moisturizing lotion, new slippers, face masks, a loofah, bath bomb (a birthday one), and an assortment of other things, one being chapstick and a microfibre hair towel. Got a fluffy pig basket and a lot of the gifts came in a unicorn gift bag.
12:45pm-1:45pm
Hot bubble bath soak for about an hour. Now relaxing with a cup of peach party peace tea. Friend is buying me dinner so I don't have to cook <3
2:30pm
Opened window and put my fan on, it's hotter than I thought it would be, so I'm relaxing with music <3
3:30pm-9pm
Friend bought me dinner-Ginger Orange Salmon Rice bowl from a local restaurant along with a slice of one of my favorite cakes-Red Velvet. Ate the rice bowl, then crashed for a bit around 4pm-ish. Woke up at around 9pm, ate the cake.
That's been my day. The long intervals between things are because I've napped so, so much today because it's just been so relaxing and now it's closing in on midnight. Thanks to today, and doing heavy self-care, my anxiety has quietened for the time being. It's not shouting in my head and it's nice to not have intrusive thoughts for once or feel worthless.
This has been an amazing birthday, and I'm really, really glad to have done the things I did today to take care of my mind, body, and soul <3.
-Sam.
Interview update
Posted 4 years agoApparently I 'did well in my interview' but didn't get the job.
There were other applicants that were better suited for the position, they'll "keep my resume on file."
Kinda figured.
Meh.
I've heard it time and time again. kinda figured.
There were other applicants that were better suited for the position, they'll "keep my resume on file."
Kinda figured.
Meh.
I've heard it time and time again. kinda figured.
June 6th 2021
Posted 4 years agoGonna be honest, I'm not doing too good today. It was my last day of Therapy and I'm struggling a bit because my rice is running low and I don't get my disability til the 23rd...I hate these 5 week months =_=
Hoping I get the job I had the interview for because I'm tired as fuck of struggling all the fucking time
Haven't been doing well the past few days in general, tbh
anxiety's been stupidly high and I'm just tired.
Doesn't help I probably won't be starting til after the 25th as when I get my disability on the 23rd, I'll have to get the pants and shirt needed for the uniform.
Just...really, really hoping this works out ><
Hoping I get the job I had the interview for because I'm tired as fuck of struggling all the fucking time
Haven't been doing well the past few days in general, tbh
anxiety's been stupidly high and I'm just tired.
Doesn't help I probably won't be starting til after the 25th as when I get my disability on the 23rd, I'll have to get the pants and shirt needed for the uniform.
Just...really, really hoping this works out ><
Heavy Anxiety Day+Interview+ 2nd Jab booking
Posted 4 years agoSo, today started off with heavy nerves, as in really heavy. Usually I can manage my anxiety pretty well but today was damn near unmanageable.
Had a shower, got dressed in barely-worn jeans that now fit me, got my hair braided by my support worker (she is amazing at french braids, oh my god), and we headed off to where I needed to go. I got there 2 hours early so I sat in an undercover area then went in, got turned around a lot because while CDS is in Costco, they aren't a part of Costco, so I got turned around a lot trying to figure out where to go. Finally found it with 5 min to spare.
Interview wasn't too bad, but my anxiety got the best of me for some things as I'm not used to the interview process anymore due to not having an interview since 2017 (That's when I got hired on the spot at Spencer's.). I explained about my disability and how it affects me but how I work around it as best I can.
I also found out my headphones had gone missing which is a huge pain in the ass because I really liked my headphones and I like listening to music while I'm on the bus...they must have fallen out of my backpack at some point...
Got home, got back into my PJs and crashed because I was just so drained after my high anxiety and the interview that I needed a nap to mentally recharge. Just going to take it easy and not stress because my friend who works with CDS reassured me that I'd done a good job as the boss lady had said to her that I'd done a good job in the interview despite the nerves I had.
Here's hoping I get the job, because I know I'll do well at it. I most likely won't be starting until after the 25th because due to being flat broke right now I can't get the shirt and pants I need for the uniform.
Which, the manager completely understood as they work with people that have mental disabilities like mine, along with Autism, ect.
So...keeping my fingers crossed.
On a secondary note, my 2nd Pfizer jab is scheduled for the 30th of this month :D
EDIT as of 10:39pm
I found my headphones!
Had a shower, got dressed in barely-worn jeans that now fit me, got my hair braided by my support worker (she is amazing at french braids, oh my god), and we headed off to where I needed to go. I got there 2 hours early so I sat in an undercover area then went in, got turned around a lot because while CDS is in Costco, they aren't a part of Costco, so I got turned around a lot trying to figure out where to go. Finally found it with 5 min to spare.
Interview wasn't too bad, but my anxiety got the best of me for some things as I'm not used to the interview process anymore due to not having an interview since 2017 (That's when I got hired on the spot at Spencer's.). I explained about my disability and how it affects me but how I work around it as best I can.
I also found out my headphones had gone missing which is a huge pain in the ass because I really liked my headphones and I like listening to music while I'm on the bus...they must have fallen out of my backpack at some point...
Got home, got back into my PJs and crashed because I was just so drained after my high anxiety and the interview that I needed a nap to mentally recharge. Just going to take it easy and not stress because my friend who works with CDS reassured me that I'd done a good job as the boss lady had said to her that I'd done a good job in the interview despite the nerves I had.
Here's hoping I get the job, because I know I'll do well at it. I most likely won't be starting until after the 25th because due to being flat broke right now I can't get the shirt and pants I need for the uniform.
Which, the manager completely understood as they work with people that have mental disabilities like mine, along with Autism, ect.
So...keeping my fingers crossed.
On a secondary note, my 2nd Pfizer jab is scheduled for the 30th of this month :D
EDIT as of 10:39pm
I found my headphones!
Interview!
Posted 4 years agoI have an interview tomorrow at 2pm. I'm nervous as hell because the last interview I did was 4 years ago in 2017 for my old work place.
Hoping it goes well.
Hoping it goes well.
Good News!
Posted 4 years agoI got good news!!!
I may be getting a new mattress.
because I'm on Disability, I can request funds for it...I just need to get a couple of estimates for funds so we can figure out the best option.
Gonna be doing that next week with my support worker, and we'll be pricing out mattresses to we can get estimates. I need to price out taxes and shipping.
So, pretty excited about that :3
I may be getting a new mattress.
because I'm on Disability, I can request funds for it...I just need to get a couple of estimates for funds so we can figure out the best option.
Gonna be doing that next week with my support worker, and we'll be pricing out mattresses to we can get estimates. I need to price out taxes and shipping.
So, pretty excited about that :3
MRI Rescheduled (Ankle)
Posted 4 years agoSo, my ankle has been utterly fucked up since 2016 and it's only gotten worse. I've had pain attacks in it and my walking and overall physical ability to things has been severely limited to the point where I can only do things for a short amount of time.
I'm finally getting progress in with my doctor, and it's one reason I haven't gone back to work after my mental breakdown in 2019 and the beginning of 2020. I'm getting an MRI on the 19th to hopefully figure out what's going, because there's something gravely wrong with my ankle.
Hopefully whatever's going on can be figured out, because I'm getting tired of not being able to do things. I was laid up all weekend because I pushed my ankle too much and it was giving warning jolts of pain, so I eased up on it. It's always at a low-level of pain that sometimes flares up and it can be pretty debilitating.
So...once I have my MRI and my doctor checks it out to see what's wrong, I'll be posting another update on it.
I'm finally getting progress in with my doctor, and it's one reason I haven't gone back to work after my mental breakdown in 2019 and the beginning of 2020. I'm getting an MRI on the 19th to hopefully figure out what's going, because there's something gravely wrong with my ankle.
Hopefully whatever's going on can be figured out, because I'm getting tired of not being able to do things. I was laid up all weekend because I pushed my ankle too much and it was giving warning jolts of pain, so I eased up on it. It's always at a low-level of pain that sometimes flares up and it can be pretty debilitating.
So...once I have my MRI and my doctor checks it out to see what's wrong, I'll be posting another update on it.
Update May 26th 2021
Posted 4 years agoUPDATE TIME
Deleted previous journal because I got tired of seeing my rant.
Had an...intense therapy session on Sunday and ranted for at least 20 minutes which got me worked up a lot and it took me a couple of days to really calm down as I don't let myself get worked up too often. I tend to vent through art, or cranking music.
Baking went well last Thursday, I cooked really good pizza pockets, and cookies. I don't bake often so, this was a really nice change. Ankle got pretty bad to the point on Wednesday that it cracked, but I ignored it and baked for a good three hours on Thursday which caused my ankle to due what I call 'warning pain' which are mini-jolts of pain-this lasted a few days because I over did it on Wednesday and Thursday.
I also had to reschedule my MRI for my ankle as I don't have any way of getting up to the hospital at four in the morning so I'm hoping they rescheduled it for a bit of a more 'proper' time after I called them about it.
Otherwise things are doing pretty good, just taking it day by day, I've been applying at places, but no one's called back yet, so, fingers crossed. It's not something I want to do right now because my ankle is really bad, and I need to make sure they can work with my memory issues that I have along with the hyper-focus that I've got as well.
I'm open about my disability, as I don't like being deceitful about it, but people tend to not understand that not everyone is 'normal' with their brain functions and may need extra accommodations which is a big reason why I don't often get called for an interview or anything.Update May 20th 2021
Posted 4 years agoMay 7th 2021
Place has been utterly and completely re-arranged and it now feels like home. I have separation in my place (Bedroom area, living area) and my bookshelves are splitting up my place between my kitchen and main area (living room/bedroom), I love how it looks, and am very happy with it.
Other Updates
Been keeping my place clean for the most part though I'm once again falling behind in dishes but only because I did a huge amount of baking today (May 20th). Yesterday was disability pay day so I got my groceries and stuff after paying my bills. Had about $300-ish after bills were paid. I've made myself a finance book so I can keep track of my spending better, it's a bit shaky rn and groceries are expensive as hell (baking ingredients took a lot out of my check because I really wanted to bake).
I put away about $50 for emergency funds JUST IN CASE because I'm trying to be better at putting money away and not touching it.
Got myself some melotonin gummies because due to summer and the heat, my sleep gets more fucked up than usual.
Therapy has been going well :) been having it every sunday (except for a couple like mother's day and if something happened in my therapist's life), and it's been helping a lot with past traumas I have, a lot of them have scarred me so, I've been working on that.
All in all, things have been going pretty well, and I'm trying to do more art as well and just take things day by day.
Had to reschedule my MRI appointment as I got the letter in the mail and it was for FOUR IN THE MORNING and cabs are too expensive, and buses don't run that early. I don't really have many connections that I can ask people to drive me so hopefully I'll get an appointment for later on in the day so I can catch the bus to the hospital across town.
I need to get this ankle figured out before I can even think about going back to work because it's been fucked up since 2016 and it affected my work when I worked from 2017-2019 because I can't stand on it for very long without severe pain (guess that's why I worked receiving at the time, doing pricing and getting stuff ready to go out on the floor, I was allowed to sit for my shift).
Hoping after therapy finishes and my ankle gets figured out that I can go back to work, because I hate not working but I won't risk screwing up my ankle more than it already is.
So...there's the update. :)
-Sam
Place has been utterly and completely re-arranged and it now feels like home. I have separation in my place (Bedroom area, living area) and my bookshelves are splitting up my place between my kitchen and main area (living room/bedroom), I love how it looks, and am very happy with it.
Other Updates
Been keeping my place clean for the most part though I'm once again falling behind in dishes but only because I did a huge amount of baking today (May 20th). Yesterday was disability pay day so I got my groceries and stuff after paying my bills. Had about $300-ish after bills were paid. I've made myself a finance book so I can keep track of my spending better, it's a bit shaky rn and groceries are expensive as hell (baking ingredients took a lot out of my check because I really wanted to bake).
I put away about $50 for emergency funds JUST IN CASE because I'm trying to be better at putting money away and not touching it.
Got myself some melotonin gummies because due to summer and the heat, my sleep gets more fucked up than usual.
Therapy has been going well :) been having it every sunday (except for a couple like mother's day and if something happened in my therapist's life), and it's been helping a lot with past traumas I have, a lot of them have scarred me so, I've been working on that.
All in all, things have been going pretty well, and I'm trying to do more art as well and just take things day by day.
Had to reschedule my MRI appointment as I got the letter in the mail and it was for FOUR IN THE MORNING and cabs are too expensive, and buses don't run that early. I don't really have many connections that I can ask people to drive me so hopefully I'll get an appointment for later on in the day so I can catch the bus to the hospital across town.
I need to get this ankle figured out before I can even think about going back to work because it's been fucked up since 2016 and it affected my work when I worked from 2017-2019 because I can't stand on it for very long without severe pain (guess that's why I worked receiving at the time, doing pricing and getting stuff ready to go out on the floor, I was allowed to sit for my shift).
Hoping after therapy finishes and my ankle gets figured out that I can go back to work, because I hate not working but I won't risk screwing up my ankle more than it already is.
So...there's the update. :)
-Sam
Trying this YCH Thing
Posted 4 years agoCanine YCH-$15 USD
What you'll get:
For $15 you'll get full color, shading, and background. (Canines only please, I can't draw felines yet)
Might take me a few days to a week to do it but it'll get done ^^
Comment below on THIS JOURNAL only.
I'll note you my paypal.
Payment is required before I start work. :)
Rules:
No NSFW/Diaper/inflation/ect
What you'll get:
For $15 you'll get full color, shading, and background. (Canines only please, I can't draw felines yet)
Might take me a few days to a week to do it but it'll get done ^^
Comment below on THIS JOURNAL only.
I'll note you my paypal.
Payment is required before I start work. :)
Rules:
No NSFW/Diaper/inflation/ect
Serotonin-fueled day (Apr. 28th 2021)
Posted 4 years agoThe day started out a little rough, I woke up with a horrendous headache and was tired as hell but after talking to my support worker for a bit I got out of bed and got dressed, then did a bottle return, and got a little bit of groceries that I needed.
Now, as some of you probably know I am a massive fan of Alice In Wonderland.
Now, there's a game creator named American McGee, he has two Alice games and is working on a third. (Alice, Alice:Madness returns, and is currently working on Alice: Asylum)
Tonight, during his stream...I won a prize.
It's not released yet. Won't be til June.
It's called the "Anxiety Rabbit" which is an orange bunny plush with white 'worry bunnies' that you can take out of its back.
https://www.instagram.com/p/COK0YykjgWa/
I'll be getting it when it's released in a couple of months and I am so..SO excited.
I am ridiculously happy right now and I'm trying not to type in all caps but it's very hard. I FREAKING WON SOMETHING FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAME CREATORS!!!
I had to ask the chat to repeat how to get it and they helped me out because I was so shocked xD
So...night has been made
IT GOT BETTER THOUGH. I reconnected with a family member on my stepmom's side and we talked for a couple of hours so right now my brain is a little bit chaotic with how I'm acting, I am all over the place right now mentally and trying to use music to calm it down (it's not working, by the way xD)
Just...very good day today, and I'm feeling pretty good :D
Now, as some of you probably know I am a massive fan of Alice In Wonderland.
Now, there's a game creator named American McGee, he has two Alice games and is working on a third. (Alice, Alice:Madness returns, and is currently working on Alice: Asylum)
Tonight, during his stream...I won a prize.
It's not released yet. Won't be til June.
It's called the "Anxiety Rabbit" which is an orange bunny plush with white 'worry bunnies' that you can take out of its back.
https://www.instagram.com/p/COK0YykjgWa/
I'll be getting it when it's released in a couple of months and I am so..SO excited.
I am ridiculously happy right now and I'm trying not to type in all caps but it's very hard. I FREAKING WON SOMETHING FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAME CREATORS!!!
I had to ask the chat to repeat how to get it and they helped me out because I was so shocked xD
So...night has been made
IT GOT BETTER THOUGH. I reconnected with a family member on my stepmom's side and we talked for a couple of hours so right now my brain is a little bit chaotic with how I'm acting, I am all over the place right now mentally and trying to use music to calm it down (it's not working, by the way xD)
Just...very good day today, and I'm feeling pretty good :D
Update time. (Apr. 25th 2021)
Posted 4 years agoGot my Covid vaccine (first dose) on Friday Apr. 23rd, it was the Pfizer one, arm is still a little tender but it's better than how it was. The night of getting it, it hurt like hell, and due to an anxiety spike, I was light-headed. I was also tired as hell and my chest was hurting a little, but it settled yesterday so I'm doing better, I just slept a lot, but I'd rather be safe than possibly contract something like this.
I did my grocery shopping on Wednesday, and it went well. Got my groceries and some books, then after my shot on Friday, I got some sandwich making stuff. I'm feeling pretty good for the most part. I spoke to my therapist as I do every Sunday and I only have 4 sessions left then I'll have to re-apply as it's apparently a short-term thing.
I've greatly enjoyed my time with my therapist and I'm hoping when I reapply, I can get her again because as better as I'm getting, there's still thigs I need to talk about and I don't want to have to get a new therapist and repeat everything I've had to say to my current one.
There's been a lot I've told my therapist, and it's helped me a lot. I'm feeling a lot better than I have in a long time and I'm so grateful I've managed to do things. Next week we're going to look at 'smart goals' so I can learn how to plan things a little better for the long run.
This week's assignment from her is an art-based one and I'm curious to see how I interpret it. It's concerning the whole...putting people into boxes vs when people are allowed to flourish outside of that restrictive box.
I did my grocery shopping on Wednesday, and it went well. Got my groceries and some books, then after my shot on Friday, I got some sandwich making stuff. I'm feeling pretty good for the most part. I spoke to my therapist as I do every Sunday and I only have 4 sessions left then I'll have to re-apply as it's apparently a short-term thing.
I've greatly enjoyed my time with my therapist and I'm hoping when I reapply, I can get her again because as better as I'm getting, there's still thigs I need to talk about and I don't want to have to get a new therapist and repeat everything I've had to say to my current one.
There's been a lot I've told my therapist, and it's helped me a lot. I'm feeling a lot better than I have in a long time and I'm so grateful I've managed to do things. Next week we're going to look at 'smart goals' so I can learn how to plan things a little better for the long run.
This week's assignment from her is an art-based one and I'm curious to see how I interpret it. It's concerning the whole...putting people into boxes vs when people are allowed to flourish outside of that restrictive box.
Vaccine Booking!
Posted 4 years agoI've got my Covid Vaccine booked for April 23rd!
Happy Ace Day and another Update!
Posted 4 years agoFirst of all!
HAPPY ACE DAY TO ALL MY FELLOW ACES. ^_^ I might do some art in a bit to celebrate.
Secondly! Update!
Had my telehealth appointment today with my doctor.
X-ray needs done again as the last one was one in 2016....then I need to get my height and weight measured for a possible CT scan.
I told the doc my ankle isn't getting any better and I had another pain attack last night along with last week
I'm seeing him next Friday on the 16th. I can get the x-ray done any time before that, as my doc will be sending a referral to a local place that does them. So, here's to hopefully figuring out what the hell is wrong with my ankle.
HAPPY ACE DAY TO ALL MY FELLOW ACES. ^_^ I might do some art in a bit to celebrate.
Secondly! Update!
Had my telehealth appointment today with my doctor.
X-ray needs done again as the last one was one in 2016....then I need to get my height and weight measured for a possible CT scan.
I told the doc my ankle isn't getting any better and I had another pain attack last night along with last week
I'm seeing him next Friday on the 16th. I can get the x-ray done any time before that, as my doc will be sending a referral to a local place that does them. So, here's to hopefully figuring out what the hell is wrong with my ankle.
Update (April 1st 2021)
Posted 4 years agoThis week has been hell, but...I'm working through it.
Period cramps and headaches kicked my ass, then on Monday I had to duck out of DnD with my friends because my ankle acted up to the point where I couldn't even concentrate and was just sobbing it hurt so bad, so I went and elevated my ankle in bed and just kept warmth on it.
It's still really bad right now actually, but I'm trying not to let it get to me as much as possible. My counselling appointment was re-scheduled for Tuesday(6th one!) and that went well, it was a day that I just needed to rant to my therapist and I even told her about my new youtube channel and she's proud of me for it (I still need to upload vids there..). She's also proud of me for the progress I'm making, she's noticed a lot of improvement in the 6 weeks I've been talking to her. I've been asked to focus on seeing POSSIBILITIES instead of hurdles so that's something I'm working on :).
I canceled my appointment with my support workers yesterday because after my period, then that horrible ankle flare-up on Monday, I just need time to rest the ankle as I've been going pretty hard with shifting things about and my ankle is not responding well to it.
I made a doctor's appointment for next Tuesday as Friday and Monday are stat holidays because Friday is Good Friday and Monday is Easter Monday, so stuff's not open, and I'm not able to really walk right now so I'm going to rest my ankle as much as I can before my appointment on Tuesday. I could aggravate the shit out of it so my doc actually takes me seriously, but I'm not one to do that.
Just need to keep going, and keep working on areas I can improve on. Therapy is helping a lot because I'm being challenged to work on the things that have kept me back before and it's slow-going, but there's progress and I'm proud of myself as is my GF and the friends I have.
Here's to continuing to make progress!
Period cramps and headaches kicked my ass, then on Monday I had to duck out of DnD with my friends because my ankle acted up to the point where I couldn't even concentrate and was just sobbing it hurt so bad, so I went and elevated my ankle in bed and just kept warmth on it.
It's still really bad right now actually, but I'm trying not to let it get to me as much as possible. My counselling appointment was re-scheduled for Tuesday(6th one!) and that went well, it was a day that I just needed to rant to my therapist and I even told her about my new youtube channel and she's proud of me for it (I still need to upload vids there..). She's also proud of me for the progress I'm making, she's noticed a lot of improvement in the 6 weeks I've been talking to her. I've been asked to focus on seeing POSSIBILITIES instead of hurdles so that's something I'm working on :).
I canceled my appointment with my support workers yesterday because after my period, then that horrible ankle flare-up on Monday, I just need time to rest the ankle as I've been going pretty hard with shifting things about and my ankle is not responding well to it.
I made a doctor's appointment for next Tuesday as Friday and Monday are stat holidays because Friday is Good Friday and Monday is Easter Monday, so stuff's not open, and I'm not able to really walk right now so I'm going to rest my ankle as much as I can before my appointment on Tuesday. I could aggravate the shit out of it so my doc actually takes me seriously, but I'm not one to do that.
Just need to keep going, and keep working on areas I can improve on. Therapy is helping a lot because I'm being challenged to work on the things that have kept me back before and it's slow-going, but there's progress and I'm proud of myself as is my GF and the friends I have.
Here's to continuing to make progress!
5 weeks already? Damn time's gone by.
Posted 4 years ago5 weeks of therapy today.
It's helped me so, so much. I took steps on my own prior to starting it last month, getting through every day, planning things, and actually doing them and completing tasks and goals is so very rewarding. I'm not laying in bed anymore.
I'm not saying 'oh I'll do that tomorrow, I've got no energy' I'm actually getting stuff done now. Therapy has helped me in so many ways already, and I can't wait to continue.
I don't think so negatively anymore, and I don't let things get to me like they used to. I'm going to continue to make progress, because I'm being given the tools by a professional to do so. I never thought I needed therapy until I started it, and now I'm grateful I have it and the support of my chosen family.
I'm so, so proud of myself for seeking out this help, because it's worked for me, and I know as this keeps up, I'll get better, and be able to utilize more and more tools I'm being given to succeed.
It's helped me so, so much. I took steps on my own prior to starting it last month, getting through every day, planning things, and actually doing them and completing tasks and goals is so very rewarding. I'm not laying in bed anymore.
I'm not saying 'oh I'll do that tomorrow, I've got no energy' I'm actually getting stuff done now. Therapy has helped me in so many ways already, and I can't wait to continue.
I don't think so negatively anymore, and I don't let things get to me like they used to. I'm going to continue to make progress, because I'm being given the tools by a professional to do so. I never thought I needed therapy until I started it, and now I'm grateful I have it and the support of my chosen family.
I'm so, so proud of myself for seeking out this help, because it's worked for me, and I know as this keeps up, I'll get better, and be able to utilize more and more tools I'm being given to succeed.
Doing some re-arranging!
Posted 4 years agoI still have a lot of work to do, but I'm proud of what I've done so far-I moved my one bookshelf to where my other one was, I've got my tote of books that'll soon have their own bookshelf when I'm able to get one.
I'm planning on utilizing the space I have to the maximum, I just need to get help with cleaning things up and getting areas prepared (My support workers will be helping me with this because I can't take this on myself.)
Going to be putting my TV more in the corner, then move my couch to make sure it's near where my TV will be, and fuss with the desk and where it is, then I'm HOPEFULLY going to be finding a big papasan/moon chair to curl up on when I read as I'm planning on separating my kitchen/living area with more bookshelves so there's a wall of sorts.
If I can section off the 'living' room part (Desk, couch and TV) a little from my 'bedroom' area, it'll flow better as I have this massive central 'empty' space in the middle of my floor (essentially everything is arranged so it's like a square with a big center area). I'm realizing that if I shift stuff around, I can make a more comprehensive, sectioned area so I feel like my bed area is separate.
I'm planning on utilizing the space I have to the maximum, I just need to get help with cleaning things up and getting areas prepared (My support workers will be helping me with this because I can't take this on myself.)
Going to be putting my TV more in the corner, then move my couch to make sure it's near where my TV will be, and fuss with the desk and where it is, then I'm HOPEFULLY going to be finding a big papasan/moon chair to curl up on when I read as I'm planning on separating my kitchen/living area with more bookshelves so there's a wall of sorts.
If I can section off the 'living' room part (Desk, couch and TV) a little from my 'bedroom' area, it'll flow better as I have this massive central 'empty' space in the middle of my floor (essentially everything is arranged so it's like a square with a big center area). I'm realizing that if I shift stuff around, I can make a more comprehensive, sectioned area so I feel like my bed area is separate.
COMMISSION INFO!
Posted 4 years agoIf you need examples, please refer to my gallery!
New Commission prices!
Due to how much my art is improving, I felt the need to do an update of my prices.
So, here's the commission info for 2021!!
Full Body (Feral/Anthro): $10 (Includes coloring/background of your choice)
Full Body (Human): $12 (Includes coloring/background of your choice)
Headshots (Human/Anthro/Feral): $4
Busts (Human/Anthro/Feral: $8
Multiple characters (2+) are $2 each
Turn out will be varied but it will never take me more than a month to complete your request. Please be patient 🙂 I work hard on my art and I want to make sure you get the best product from me.
NO NSFW/nasty things. I won't do it. So don't ask.
Payment is required PRIOR to me starting the commission. I'll send you my paypal privately. Prices are in USD
New Commission prices!
Due to how much my art is improving, I felt the need to do an update of my prices.
So, here's the commission info for 2021!!
Full Body (Feral/Anthro): $10 (Includes coloring/background of your choice)
Full Body (Human): $12 (Includes coloring/background of your choice)
Headshots (Human/Anthro/Feral): $4
Busts (Human/Anthro/Feral: $8
Multiple characters (2+) are $2 each
Turn out will be varied but it will never take me more than a month to complete your request. Please be patient 🙂 I work hard on my art and I want to make sure you get the best product from me.
NO NSFW/nasty things. I won't do it. So don't ask.
Payment is required PRIOR to me starting the commission. I'll send you my paypal privately. Prices are in USD
Organization
Posted 4 years agoSince Wednesday I've been slowly working on small sections of areas in my home, organizing things and just get everything to look better. I've gotten my kitchen table straightened out, my CDs organized, and I've kept my living area very tidy (need to do dishes tomorrow-it's just after midnight here), I've got a lot of little areas to organize and small piles of things that've kind of...gotten out of control a little bit so I'm trying to work on the smaller areas first. It's taking a bit, but it's progress and I'm proud of myself for the stuff I've done so far.
I'm hoping to get my little fireplace shelf (electric fireplace installed in the wall that doesn't work) just above the floor organized so I can put stuff there after I clean it so I can get my consoles organized and I'm going to be reconfiguring my place a little as well, I need to move my dresser to the end of my bed, and get the bookshelf by my bed on the other side of the room..
It's a lot of work, but if I take my time and not overwhelm myself with all the things I need to do, I should get it organized the way I want. It's pretty much been the same for the past 7 years with everything kind of...scattered a bit, so I want a more concise layout in my little bachelor pad. Hoping to get new curtains too as the ones I have are a bit ragged and worn out. So...here's to reconfiguring my place and getting everything organized!
I love my bachelor suite, and the rent is really good, I couldn't ask for anything better really. I'm a bit out of town but it's okay if I'm not paying ridiculous rent. My rent hasn't gone up at all, and my landlords like me a lot. They respect my space, and I respect them. It's a good relationship between us and I got really lucky to have such wonderful landlords.
My place isn't the biggest, but I have a living room/bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom, and that's all I really need. I do miss having a bedroom, but whenever I'd watch my parents' house, I'd choose the bigger room for space as I felt closed in. I don't have to do that anymore which is kinda nice- Stepmom moved off-island in November, so all my family is off-island. It's a bit weird and I'm still adjusting to the fact my Nephew doesn't just randomly drop by anymore after school. But, it's nice to have that distance and I can go over to the mainland and visit if I want to.
Sorry, got a bit rambly here.
But yeah, looking forwards to adjusting my place the way I really want it, it'll be nice to have a slightly modified layout than the one I have right now.
I'm hoping to get my little fireplace shelf (electric fireplace installed in the wall that doesn't work) just above the floor organized so I can put stuff there after I clean it so I can get my consoles organized and I'm going to be reconfiguring my place a little as well, I need to move my dresser to the end of my bed, and get the bookshelf by my bed on the other side of the room..
It's a lot of work, but if I take my time and not overwhelm myself with all the things I need to do, I should get it organized the way I want. It's pretty much been the same for the past 7 years with everything kind of...scattered a bit, so I want a more concise layout in my little bachelor pad. Hoping to get new curtains too as the ones I have are a bit ragged and worn out. So...here's to reconfiguring my place and getting everything organized!
I love my bachelor suite, and the rent is really good, I couldn't ask for anything better really. I'm a bit out of town but it's okay if I'm not paying ridiculous rent. My rent hasn't gone up at all, and my landlords like me a lot. They respect my space, and I respect them. It's a good relationship between us and I got really lucky to have such wonderful landlords.
My place isn't the biggest, but I have a living room/bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom, and that's all I really need. I do miss having a bedroom, but whenever I'd watch my parents' house, I'd choose the bigger room for space as I felt closed in. I don't have to do that anymore which is kinda nice- Stepmom moved off-island in November, so all my family is off-island. It's a bit weird and I'm still adjusting to the fact my Nephew doesn't just randomly drop by anymore after school. But, it's nice to have that distance and I can go over to the mainland and visit if I want to.
Sorry, got a bit rambly here.
But yeah, looking forwards to adjusting my place the way I really want it, it'll be nice to have a slightly modified layout than the one I have right now.
No Subject
Posted 4 years agoAthena is really becoming a strong fursona of mine. She has so much strength and determination, and doesn't let anything stop her. So I'm not going to, either.
I am working on getting better and have made a lot of progress in the 3 sessions I've had in therapy. I'm starting to feel like myself again which has been someone I haven't been since I quit my job due to management changes and not having my disability needs met anymore along with the stress of my parents and dad cheating on my stepmom and me getting pulled in the middle of it all which is one of the reasons why I'm in therapy because it was pretty bad and pretty messy-it caused me severe breakdowns, actually.
I've had other factors that've weighed on me and I'm finally able to just talk about it. I'm becoming light, and happy again and no one's gonna bring me down anymore. I won't allow it.
I've gotten this far...I just need to keep going, and get back into an emotionally stable state so I can start job hunting again. I'm not lazy, and I'm not sitting on my ass, either. I'm working to get my weight back down to 115lbs and build up the strength in my fucked up left ankle. No, I'm not working right now, but I don't mind as I'm focusing on factors that will help me get a job again and able to do things.
I'm building myself up, physically and emotionally/mentally. Yes, I will still have bad days, but as long as I focus on mostly positive things, I should be alright.
Just gotta keep on trucking and get myself back up to where I know I can be.
I am working on getting better and have made a lot of progress in the 3 sessions I've had in therapy. I'm starting to feel like myself again which has been someone I haven't been since I quit my job due to management changes and not having my disability needs met anymore along with the stress of my parents and dad cheating on my stepmom and me getting pulled in the middle of it all which is one of the reasons why I'm in therapy because it was pretty bad and pretty messy-it caused me severe breakdowns, actually.
I've had other factors that've weighed on me and I'm finally able to just talk about it. I'm becoming light, and happy again and no one's gonna bring me down anymore. I won't allow it.
I've gotten this far...I just need to keep going, and get back into an emotionally stable state so I can start job hunting again. I'm not lazy, and I'm not sitting on my ass, either. I'm working to get my weight back down to 115lbs and build up the strength in my fucked up left ankle. No, I'm not working right now, but I don't mind as I'm focusing on factors that will help me get a job again and able to do things.
I'm building myself up, physically and emotionally/mentally. Yes, I will still have bad days, but as long as I focus on mostly positive things, I should be alright.
Just gotta keep on trucking and get myself back up to where I know I can be.
A year into this...
Posted 4 years agoA year ago today the Pandemic was officially announced by the World Health Organization.
A year.
We have been in this for a YEAR.
Yet people still don't take it seriously.
Why? Why can't people just do what they should be doing so we can get back to at least some semblance of normality?????
A year.
We have been in this for a YEAR.
Yet people still don't take it seriously.
Why? Why can't people just do what they should be doing so we can get back to at least some semblance of normality?????
POSITIVITY JOURNAL AND RAMBLIES
Posted 4 years agoMy therapist is a really cool person, and she keeps me on topic during our one hour sessions every Monday afternoon, we've talked a lot about things in the sessions-we usually keep it to one topic even though my mind is chaos, but she reins in my ramblings really well and I've noticed after our sessions I feel far lighter and like a wall has been brought down to reveal another layer.
There has been so much I've been afraid to talk about, or mention, and with her I can just talk about it. I've realized I'm a lot stronger than I thought, and she even called me resilient in our last session because of how I've been able to push past a lot and be able to talk about it, but it's still damaged me quite a bit. Talking about things that've happened, the cause and affect from it...it's very eye-opening it and due to these past two sessions I've managed to clear a lot of my mental cobwebs, and it's just becoming a really good thing for me to do.
I'm damn proud of myself for seeking this help, and it's on a slider payment plan. So because of my low income status, I only have to pay a small amount if I'm able. Right now it's just zoom calls because of the pandemic, but it's still really nice and I don't hold back when I'm talking to my therapist.
I understand some people don't need therapy, but I do. There's a lot deeper issues with me than I thought. So with that help, I'm working on it. I've even started a daily routine when I wake up as my sleep pattern is getting better because there's less burdens on my mind.
Just...things are getting better, and I'm hoping to get a job as soon as I feel I'm ready to. I still have a lot of things to tackle with my therapist, so I'm going to focus on my mental and emotional well-being before I decide to find a job again. ^_^ Gotta take care of that emotional/mental state first after all.
My routine? Well..
First: break days are Thursdays and Fridays for working out
Work out for 5 min on my manual treadmill (this'll increase as time goes on and I can walk on my bad ankle more)
Meditate for 10-15 min
Write 3 positive affirmations about self
So, yeah!
There has been so much I've been afraid to talk about, or mention, and with her I can just talk about it. I've realized I'm a lot stronger than I thought, and she even called me resilient in our last session because of how I've been able to push past a lot and be able to talk about it, but it's still damaged me quite a bit. Talking about things that've happened, the cause and affect from it...it's very eye-opening it and due to these past two sessions I've managed to clear a lot of my mental cobwebs, and it's just becoming a really good thing for me to do.
I'm damn proud of myself for seeking this help, and it's on a slider payment plan. So because of my low income status, I only have to pay a small amount if I'm able. Right now it's just zoom calls because of the pandemic, but it's still really nice and I don't hold back when I'm talking to my therapist.
I understand some people don't need therapy, but I do. There's a lot deeper issues with me than I thought. So with that help, I'm working on it. I've even started a daily routine when I wake up as my sleep pattern is getting better because there's less burdens on my mind.
Just...things are getting better, and I'm hoping to get a job as soon as I feel I'm ready to. I still have a lot of things to tackle with my therapist, so I'm going to focus on my mental and emotional well-being before I decide to find a job again. ^_^ Gotta take care of that emotional/mental state first after all.
My routine? Well..
First: break days are Thursdays and Fridays for working out
Work out for 5 min on my manual treadmill (this'll increase as time goes on and I can walk on my bad ankle more)
Meditate for 10-15 min
Write 3 positive affirmations about self
So, yeah!
Things are going well.
Posted 4 years agoThird session of Therapy is tomorrow and I have made a lot of progress the past couple of weeks. I'm learning where a lot of my issues stem from and it's really nice and I am so grateful to be able to just....talk about things.
I've had a really, really good month and therapy is helping greatly. I've barely had a dark or self-deprecating thought. My confidence is soaring as is my self-worth.
I'm getting better and it feels amazing.
I've had a really, really good month and therapy is helping greatly. I've barely had a dark or self-deprecating thought. My confidence is soaring as is my self-worth.
I'm getting better and it feels amazing.
