So on March 20th, I will be 25 years old.

As much as I love my birthday, it is going to suck and hard.

1. I have a rotten wisdom tooth again. I went to the dentist and found out that I have a paramolar behind the rotton wisdom tooth. So, they can't just pull it. Oh no! Now I have to have oral surgery to remove both wisdom teeth. I have already spent $97 just for them to look into my mouth for two seconds and look at an xray, which was an additional $37. So $120 or more just for them to tell me they won't do anything.

2. I get referred to an oral surgeon who will not take payment plans, because this surgery plus the consult and the xray is going to cost me over 1000. And I have no insurance of any kind. So I have to pay that all in one sitting.

Before you make suggestions of what I can do when I only make $800 per month, I will tell you what I have already done.

I have already tried to get on government aid... they will not allow me to have government aid because ( and this is a joke) I make too much money for government aid. I tried for "Care Credit". I make too little for me to borrow any money from them. So, I am stuck.

I have tried to look for low cost places or places that will take payment plans, but they can't see me until April. And this pain is really bad guys. I can't wait that long. So, I am trying to borrow money from my grandfather to pay for my surgery. But I still probably have to pay $270 just for the special xray they may need to take and the consult, which by the way they make mandatory.

3. I need to refund my commissioners. Thankfully they are mainly a $1 or the bigger ones don't mind waiting. But it still makes me feel like crap.

4. I need to pay  portzebie $125 a month to pay back for Furry Fiesta this year.

5. I wish my aunt would just leave my fucking shit alone. She almost threw away a piece of artwork that  portzebie drew for me as well as my badge from  mitti.

6. I won't lie, I won the auction for Lizardbeth's Sketchbook auction, which is another $200 a month. Thankfully she was willing to do payment plans so over the next 7 months I could afford it.

7. I have to pay my car insurance again for a car I don't drive. Which is $110 wasted a month because my family might need to use the car.

8. I am worry about how I am going to get the money for my 3DS reserve. I don't want to lose the $50 I already invested.

So yeah... not a good few months for me. I go into surgery hopefully on the 18th so I can't even have cake for my birthday.

Oh well... at least I have  portzebie and all my wonderful friends.

Hello everyone,

It has been a very long time since my icon sale. And it is unacceptable that you have waited so long.

Within the next few weeks, I will be trying to contact everyone that paid and refunding them their money.

Currently mentally I am not fit to do art. I haven't been for the past few months for one reason or another. It has gotten so bad that I have been trying to seek professional help. Though sadly I have no had success yet.

I am really sorry, but if you still want that icon idea in the future I can still keep you on the list and it will still be teh $1. I will finish the ones that I almost have done and refund everyone else. If I get to you in the line I will send you a note and see if you are still interested. If not, I understand.

I will also contact others about the bigger commissions I have pending. Certain ones I am still going to finish, and others I am not. But I will refund all your money if I fell that I can not finish it.

Again, I am really sorry. There is no excuse for making you amazing people wait so long with little to no results. But I want to make things right.

Thank you all,

Sasha DarkCloud

Hello there all,

How are you doing? I bet you have been wondering where I have been for the past while. Especially the people that I owe art too. It has been a really strange and somewhat hectic year for me this past year.

I finally have a confirmed steady job with the computer company I do work for. I only get 20 hours a week, but that suits me fine. I have also been looking for another job so I can try to bring more money in but no luck. Though I guess it is sort of a blessing since my job has me working at prime store hours, so it would be insanely difficult to put me on at another job that isn't a 24 hour working establishment.

When I am not at work, my latest addiction has been a website called Swagbucks. I believe I still have my referral link down in the bottom of my journals. Basically, it is a search and win site. You use their search bar to get points towards their site and you earn prizes when you accumulate points. But this site is actually better than others I have tried, because their points to win ratio is fair.

Like on one site, they expect you to earn 3k points to get a $5 Amazon gift card. On Swagbucks, only 450 points for the same thing. And there are multiple ways to win points towards the site. You can do the search, you can watch videos, you can do offers, if you go to shop and earn to go shopping with your favorite retailer you can get 2 bucks for every dollar you spend, they are now even bringing games and tournaments. As well as sometimes they release codes (usually about once per day) where you get free points just for entering the code!

I started this just seeing what I could do to bring in some extra money for the holidays, and I have been getting $25 every month. I know it isn't a lot, but it really helps keep your spirits up especially in these hard times. Save up your amazon gift cards and watch your balance grow till you can earn the big things that you wanted. Or, Swagbucks has ton of other amazing prizes.

Just so you guys know, I have bought a few blu ray discs just from winning on Swagbucks. They really do work and they really do give you your prize. It takes about a week to pay up, but it does come.

If you dont' want to go through my referral, that is fine. I just want to share with you another way to save up money for the things you want. Plus they have a special bonus going on where if you sign up now and enter a code, you will get 20 or 30 SB just for signing up and with the code (I will give to you if interested), and an additional 20 SB. So I think you get 50 SB right off the bat!

---

Now, to get back to the topic at hand. Things have been hectic.

To put it as short as possible: Chasing down paychecks, had to have two teeth removed because they both had an absess, depression about my art, wreath making for the holidays, family fueds, waiting in Black Friday lines so I can finally have an HDTV, and some of my clothes have been destroyed.

Though, for the good, tomorrow I leave for the airport to see  portzebie and meet his family for Christmas. I have been looking forward to this for months and I am so happy that i have the money to do so.

Though I am so nervous about meeting his family. Because I really love Portz and I want to leave a good impression on the people that he cares about. I already have my hair done, I have my clothes picked out for the big dinner.

Though now I have to go. I have to start packing and making sure I have everything ready to go for tomorrow. As well as I have work in about two hours.

Happy Holidays to you all.

P.S. to my patient customers. If you wish for a refund please don't hesitate to say so. You have been waiting forever for your art and I am sorry that not only does it take me so long to be happy with something, but that some of you I haven't even started yet. Please either note me or contact me anyway you can on my profile, give me your paypal address, and I will refund you if you want it. Though I do apologize to all those people waiting for their art.

Appearance:
[X] = You have blue/green eyes.
[X] = You blush a lot.
[X] = You giggle.
[X] = You're quiet.
[x] = You say random silly things.
[] = You have a baby face.
[X] = You wear a more down to earth style of clothing.
[X] = You don't wear halter tops or anything to showy.
[x] = You're under 5 feet 6 inches tall.
TOTAL SO FAR: 8

Innocence:
[] = You're a virgin.
[] = Just thinking of sexual things makes you blush.
[X] = Your idea of a date is really romantic.
[X] = You sleep with a stuffed animal.
[x] = You like to cuddle.
[x] = You've never played the Nervous game.
[x] = You don't even know what the nervous game is.

TOTAL SO FAR: 13

Colors:
[] = You like the color pink/light blue.
[ ] = You tend to wear bright/girly colors.

TOTAL SO FAR: 13

Personality:
[X] = You can be ignorant/oblivious.
[X] = You'd consider yourself shy.
[] = You like happy upbeat music.
[] = You like "Cutesy" music.

TOTAL SO FAR: 15

What YOU think is cute:
[x] = You like small animals
[ ] = You like babies a lot.
[X] = Small/mini versions of things make you go

TOTAL: 17

Multiply how many you got by 4
Repost as: "I'm __% Cute"
17 x 4 = 68

The rate my character meme! I choose my default Sasha DarkCloud
I will do my other girls on  athenahellebore later.

1. What do you think my character would have a job/career in?
2. What is unique about my character that you enjoy?
3. What are his/her flaws?
4. What are some changes you would like to see?
5. What would you like to see my character doing in future pictures?
6. How old does my character look?
7. On a scale of 1-10, how attractive is my character?
8. On a scale to 1-10, how sexually attractive is my character?
9. On a scale to 1-10, how well does my character fit me?
10. If you could, how would you personally change him to fit me better?

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokémon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname.
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

Hey there all,

Just wanted to share the good news that finally, since I find out W2 from 2008... I have no limitations on my paypal anymore. I am so happy, I hate when Paypal does this kind of thing.

Hello there one and all,

As the title suggests, I have paypal issues. After applying for a debit card they decided to randomly screen me for security reasons. This is their polite way of saying since I haven't been able to create a credit history for myself yet they consider me a terrorist.

Before I say anything else, this is legit. I know some of you might be concerned that I am falling for a scam but it is not. I always make sure I type in paypal.com in my address bar before I agree to do anything just to make sure what they are saying is legit. And it sadly is.

Now what does this mean for my commissioners? Well... I can't refund your money if you decide to want it till I can get this issue settled. Which might not be for awhile. I can accept money, so I will still work on all the icons I owe as well as all my other commission stuff. I just can't send any money out or put it in my bank account. This is why if you want a refund it will be delayed till I can get all this resolved.

What pisses me off is first they said "Oh, we just need your driver's license and a utility bill to show you live where you say you live." Perfect, I have my insurance bill and my driver's license I can scan in. Now all the sudden they want my SSN. Though they don't update their steps to resolve my issue at all other than saying they got my utility bill.

Now, with my SSN I have an issue. Years ago, my mother decided that moving in with a boyfriend is more important than everything else. I lived with my aunt and my mother kept all my legal documents at her old family home. Now, that wasn't an issue until my uncle decided to move into the house. He was living in his trailer but for some reason wanted to get into the house. And he had these girl friends when he had money sponging off him. Well, he got it into his head to throw every thing that looks like paper away. So guess what was thrown away?

My original birth certitifcate, my original SSN card, everything to identify me with originals are now in garbage heap just waiting for someone to steal my identity. But I am assuming by now since no one has taken it yet that the paper has long been soiled so no one will be able to read it even if they find it by now. But this now really puts me in a shit hole. Because now when I go to job interviews, I only have a black and white copy of my SSN and a copy of my birth certificate. Usually for jobs, this is not an issue. Cause they check my SSN number anyway and see that they match my name so it is not an issue. I even got a job at the Census with that.

Well, apparently PayPal is more concerned than our own government. Because I sent in a scan of my black and white copy of my SSN, which you can very easily read the numbers. Yet they turned that down and said that I will need to get another copy. So until I can get my original birth certificate from my town, and then get my new Social Security card, I am fucked. Either that or hopefully Paypal will accept a copy of my W2 if I can find it. I had a hard enough time finding my black and white copy of my SSN.

So to everyone wanting a refund (so far I have had no other requests except one that I already did refund), please be patient. This really puts me in a bind in more ways then one and it is insane that paypal doesn't do this upfront. And they pick on me because of my credit history (or I should say lack thereof).

Thank you all for understanding my situation as well as all of your patience with me. I really appreciate it and all of you are so cool.

Yep, you heard right. Apparently  lizardbeth's latest project is to turn her amazing comic Broken Plot Device into some sort of audio project. They are in need of some voice actors, and some voters to decide who to cast for the parts. So go on over and either send in your audition or vote or even both!.

As a favor to me, if you vote for me for the parts I auditioned for, do not do so just because you see me as a friend or are a fan of mine. I want you to vote based upon if you think my voice fits the character if you read through the comics, or if you think my voice acting skill will be a benefit for the role. I want to earn the part, not have it given to me because my friends decided to all vote for me.

You have to be a member of the forum in order to vote, but signing up is easy and you will get to read a wonderful comic and meet very nice people to boot.

http://bpdcomic.forumotion.com/comi.....ted-t375-0.htm

I forgot to mention that deadlines for submissions and voting are tomorrow. I wanted to do this earlier but I have been feeling under the weather for the past few days.

Seems I am on August's shit list....

Gas station never called me. Fucking sucks and I might head over there this week to see what is up. So no money coming in from that.

Something happened either with my money planning or I don't know what but there is $100 not accounted for. So when I get my statement I will be seeing what happened with that.

The walking of my neighbors dog is over and they only gave me $40. I was hoping I would get more but at least I got something.

My cell phone is dead. I don't know if something fucked up in the battery or what but all I know is now it won't charge. So I am going to have to drop money to get another battery. Fucking great.

My insurance fucked me deep and hard in the ass. They said that I never signed my application contract so they weren't taking my insurance payments for the past two months but didn't tell me till the end of July. Now I have to pay them $300 by the end of the month in order to have insurance on my car and the DMV not pull my registration for my car that I can't drive anyway because I don't have a tire for my car.

Oh, and someone broke into my brother's home and stole all his game systems. So of course that has my family all in a tissy and that is all they talk about, getting me paranoid and therefore can't sleep at night anymore. I know during the day someone is home working so the odds of someone stealing something from our house is slim to none.

Hello there all,

As you guys know, I had some issues with my Bamboo tablet where it would just keep right clicking. I couldn't figure out why. I disabled right clicking from Bamboo's settings entirely with both the pen and the tablet, but it still kept doing it. It finally dawned on me what was happening.

See, I have a Windows 7 laptop, which has decided that it needs to control my tablet. Well, I forgot that Windows 7 has it settings above even the Bamboo's settings on my computer. So even though I disabled the right click on Bamboo's settings, I didn't get rid of it on Windows 7's pen and touch settings. Cause when you hold down your pen, it makes the tablet think it is right clicking.

Microsoft, how can you think that people holding down their pen to do something like, oh I don't know, signing something would require holding the pen down for a few seconds? Especially since my laptop doesn't have the most amazing ram in the world and lags for me.

So needless to say, I have bitch slapped Windows to never right click with my tablet or it's pen again so now I can actually draw on my computer like I am supposed to. I am just sad it took me 7 months for that fact to finally dawn on me.

So if you know anyone that is having the same issues that I did, where it would just keep making right click commands when you try to draw with your tablet, ask them what OS they are running on their computer and ask them to check their OS's pen and touch settings. You will save someone a lot of time and aggravation.

To quote my boyfriend:

"I really hate to do this to myself (giving myself even MORE work) but I've hit a snag financially today. Suddenly, I've been charged for about six things at once (internet bill, purchases from a month ago I thought went through already, plane tickets I bought weeks ago).

I'll take commissions for single-character bust sketches like http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4195314 for $10. I'm only taking PayPal payments and if they can be made ASAP I would be forever grateful.

If you're interested, comment below! Spread the word?

Opening FIFTY slots! I'M CRAZY!! "

Please go over here and snag a slot:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1571973/

Hey guys,

This weekend I have to do some work for my boss, but I will also be working on my icon commissions and other commissions as well. Though for the moment, I have to work on the people who have not paid as well as the people that have paid. Why? Because right now, my family and I are flat broke.

What happened is, my uncle and I's boss has been tardy on sending his paycheck a few times. Seems as if he decided to be late with his paycheck again. Well, this time our money from the paycheck before was already gone. So of course, my family needed to borrow money from me. In the span of a week, my family has borrowed $300 from me. So now I am left with no money at all, they even took the money for my car insurance.

Also, because electronic transfers are not done on the weekend, we have no money until Monday at best. So right now we are fucked for founding. I am not a happy camper right now.

For any people that are waiting for refunds, I can only send them when my family pays me back. Which is hopefully going to be Monday, or if I get some icons done for people who have not paid yet if they pay me through paypal I can send the money you want back. I apologize very much for making anyone wait any longer, I can't help that my boss can be a tool. Just please be a little more patient with me.

Taken from  Ifus

***"I'm sorry"***

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough moxie to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

I love you so much Portzie , I am glad that I finally got to be with you. You are an amazing and perfect boyfriend and I hope you realize that by now. Thank you for being my best friend in the entire world. The best lover that I have ever had or could ever ask for. And that you give me everything I could ever want and need, and then some.

I love you forever darling.

Hey there all

I guess you guys have been wondering what is up.

I have been working on sketches as much as I can. I will try to upload them as soon as I can.

If anyone wants a refund, I will be more then happy to. But, you have to wait till tomorrow since my family has needed to borrow my money. Though I do promise to pay you guys back if you want it. Just please tell me your paypal e-mail so I can verify how much I need to give you.

Today I am going to my local gas station to try to get a job. Wish me luck guys.

Edit: Well, I had my first trial. I have the cashiering thing down other than for lotto tickets. My boss said that for now, there is no set schedule but he will call me in to work and I will get paid for the hours I work. Just to see if I like the job and we will see how I do. So for now, I have a somewhat part time job. Which is a lot better then no work at all.

Thank you all very much for the well wishes, I have seemed to pass the test.

 Portzebie is here. Now there will be much lovings. <3

Please give it yummy questions for me to answer because I need to answer some damn it!

http://www.formspring.me/SashaDarkCloud

Ok, I know this is really nothing to rant about but this is frustrating me to no end.

As you guys probably know, Jay Naylor is finally opening himself for commissions. Even though I shouldn't be wanting to buy one, I want to in the worst way. So, I have been trying to get a slot.

Now, here is the problem with Jay Naylor's system. In order to get a slot, you have to be sitting at the computer and hitting refresh and HOPE TO GOD that someone is not faster than you. I thought I finally had it last night when I read a slot was open after I saw his upload. I was so excited that I was going to be successful. Then I get up this afternoon and notice the slot is taken from someone else.

Now, this system isn't fair for me at all. I work 8 hours a day for my job so I can afford to commission people. I can't sit there and keep refreshing his page like other people can. I know that everyone else has to have that same policy and he doesn't care who commissions him, as long as he gets money. Much like an artist would do.

Though what gets my goat the most is he read the note I sent him to try to get the slot. I guess maybe he thought I was someone who already snagged a slot that was providing references. It just irks me because it makes me feel I was so close but yet he gave it to someone else. Granted, this person probably sent it long before me and there were probably other people asking for a slot in between.

I have wanted a commission from Jay for awhile. I just thought it was a pipe dream because he was never going to offer them. But, now that he finally is I am still trying hard to get that slot.

If any of my followers and friends want to help, if you can snag a slot and just give it to me that would be awesome. I know all of you are busy with your own plans but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I would appreciate it.

Well, it seems my flood of work has come to a slight pause.

My boss wants me to do easy stuff when he is ready to go, I have nothing left to test and any backlogged work for them is done and over for now. So guess what I am doing today?

That is right, I am going to art today. Hopefully I will have a piece or too finished today. It is really nice to have some time for myself.

1 SPOT LEFT TAKE A SCREENIE OF MY FRONT PAGE RIGHT NOW GET A FREE DRAGONBALL Z THEME ICON!!!!!

Congratulations to our winner  ponderer!!!

He is the winner of the digital conbadge with the dragon ball Z theme.

Though please keep those screenies coming, cause there are still some icons to give away too.

1.  drake-lord
2.  lurdanjo
3.  mbluewolf
4.  rinjipantera
5.  shusuke_the_fox
6.  Eclipse8866
7.  bucephalus
8.  emeraldskunk
9.

If you guys have been keeping tabs on my front page, I am almost at 9k pageviews. What does that mean for you? Well... even though I shouldn't be doing this... I am offering a kiriban.

BUT... This is at the very end of my long to do list. So no noting me in a week asking me where your kiriban is, because with my work load as long as it is, my commissioners come first. As well as the gift art I owe, and etc. So this is going to take an extremely long time to get to. But, this number is so special to me that I want to offer this and get a winner.

Now, the prizes (Yes, more than one)

The first person to screen cap 9001 views (Hey, it is over 9k not 9k exactly :P) will get a special digital badge done by me with a Dragonball Z theme. If in the rare event there is a tie, I will offer both winners a badge. I will have your fursona cosplaying as any character from the series that you choose.

Now, in the event no one catches 9001, I will award it to the person closest to 9001.

Once we have a grand prize winner, there will be other winners as well.

The next 9 to offer the closest Kiriban to 9001 will each get a Dragonball Z theme icon. Sorry, but flat color only. In this you can also choose the character you wish to cosplay, but please provide more then one option. I don't wish to repeat characters if I can. In order of preference please ^^.

I will send a note to the winners, as well as announce them on another journal.

Good luck to all of you, and thank you everyone for all the pageviews ^^.

I am going to repost the kiriban journal tomorrow, but for right now this is important.

Today, one of my dogs named Spot died today. I have had this dog since she was a puppy, and something ruptured in her system today. Only reason we knew is she vomited up blood and we rushed her to the vet. The vet said there was nothing he could do to save her.

She was a wonderful dog. She had one ear that she would always keep pointed up, and one ear would always remain flopped over. Her favorite song was "Say What You Need to Say". She always wagged her tail and looked so bright eyed when she heard that song on the radio. She always knew when you needed to cuddle or have a hug, and she loved having attention. On cold nights she could crawl into bed and snuggle with us just to keep us warm.

It happened so suddenly. I didn't even get a real chance to say goodbye to her. And now she is gone. At least she is not suffering.

Rest in Peace Spot, aka, "Say What you Need to Say".

August 26, 1996 - April 26, 2010.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1345892/

$10 for a sketch and if not done within 24 hours, you don't have to pay. At least that is my understanding, and this is a really good artist. Please either spread the word or go get one.

Well, I broke down and made one a few months ago. Go ask me stuff dang it!

http://www.formspring.me/sashadarkcloud