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Looking for some help
Posted a week agoHello! Been a while since I've made a journal!
I've wanted to vent out some emotions that I've been feeling recently and ask for some help. As of recent, my relationship with art hasn't been very healthy. I'm constantly comparing myself to other artists, thinking that because I cant produce as much art, or at a similar quality of other artists, that art might just not be for me.
These thoughts have led me into a pretty bad depression, and feeling very disconnected from the community. Some of this is likely due to some other circumstances like recently going through a breakup, but these thoughts have been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. They're just much louder now.
Maybe I'm simply just not disciplined enough, or I'm lazy. But I don't believe those thoughts would lead me to be questioning if I should really be doing art, as discipline and laziness can be worked on. Personally I think a lot of this has come from how disconnected I am to the community. I've got friends and quite a few locals in the community, but despite that I still feel lonely.
The main reason I create is to make things for others and to make them happy, it always has been. Maybe that's why I don't feel as motivated to grind out commissions on a daily basis, as money is just something that's made to be spent in my mind. But I can't help but feel some jealousy or envy towards other artists who can, or feel as if they are more cut out to do art than I am.
I know that everyone has their own creative journey and there's no wrong way to make art other than to make nothing at all. But these thoughts are very scary to me. Sure I've doubted myself before in the past, but I cant remember ever thinking that art wasn't for me until recently.
In saying that, I can't see myself doing anything else, and others have told me the same, maybe I'm being too hard on myself as others have told me that they look up to me but I cant help but wonder, why? I think in large part feelings of isolation have led me to those questions, and I'll admit the isolation is almost entirely of my own doing.
Whenever I get too many messages I get overwhelmed and tend not to respond to people, I'm horrible at responding to others as I usually don't have my phone or any messaging apps open when I try to work on art as I believe they distract me (but I think this might also be contributing to the feelings of isolation) and I rarely join calls or talk/draw with other artists which is something I wish I did a lot more often.
As you've probably read so far, I'm not great at explaining how I feel on paper, and I'm simultaneously very hard on myself. Maybe unfairly so. If someone is upset, I'll convince myself it's my fault. Something bad happens? My fault. You get the idea. This has led to a lot of anxiety and depression to build up in me. I'm always anxious that my art isn't going to be good enough and that whoever I'm giving it to will hate it. Yes I'm afraid that if I gift someone art for free, they'll somehow hate it, I realize it sounds crazy but that's how low my self-esteem is as of late.
With my most previous now EX partner, I considered them to be my better half. Very charismatic, talkative, fun and would take very little BS from others. It was something I admired in them, but it eventually became a bit of jealousy on my end. It's not easy to admit that I was jealous of my own partner at the time, but it always felt like people liked him and only tolerated me because I was an artist or because I was his partner.
My partner also got a lot of art with others, which I'm very glad that others are kind enough to give him such nice things as he does deserve them, but I really started to feel as if my art wasn't special to them anymore. Maybe all I wanted to hear was "good job" or "I love it" a little more often, but I'd never ask them to change for my sake, even if it deeply hurt. Perhaps my codependency is what's causing my emotional turmoil, but I don't think it's wrong to want to share your heart and soul to another and selflessly give to them. I believe I still have quite a bit of healing to do, because I feel as if I have lost...well, half of me.
If you've read this far, I don't have many closing thoughts, this was mostly just to vent because these emotions have had me in a choke hold for months now. I don't think I'm doing okay, but some days are better than others, and I like to stay optimistic. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. I always love reading comments, its one of the only ways that I have felt connected with the community recently. <3
Thank you for reading, I'm going to still create art, and for all the support this community has given me, I can't ever give back enough. ;;
I've wanted to vent out some emotions that I've been feeling recently and ask for some help. As of recent, my relationship with art hasn't been very healthy. I'm constantly comparing myself to other artists, thinking that because I cant produce as much art, or at a similar quality of other artists, that art might just not be for me.
These thoughts have led me into a pretty bad depression, and feeling very disconnected from the community. Some of this is likely due to some other circumstances like recently going through a breakup, but these thoughts have been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. They're just much louder now.
Maybe I'm simply just not disciplined enough, or I'm lazy. But I don't believe those thoughts would lead me to be questioning if I should really be doing art, as discipline and laziness can be worked on. Personally I think a lot of this has come from how disconnected I am to the community. I've got friends and quite a few locals in the community, but despite that I still feel lonely.
The main reason I create is to make things for others and to make them happy, it always has been. Maybe that's why I don't feel as motivated to grind out commissions on a daily basis, as money is just something that's made to be spent in my mind. But I can't help but feel some jealousy or envy towards other artists who can, or feel as if they are more cut out to do art than I am.
I know that everyone has their own creative journey and there's no wrong way to make art other than to make nothing at all. But these thoughts are very scary to me. Sure I've doubted myself before in the past, but I cant remember ever thinking that art wasn't for me until recently.
In saying that, I can't see myself doing anything else, and others have told me the same, maybe I'm being too hard on myself as others have told me that they look up to me but I cant help but wonder, why? I think in large part feelings of isolation have led me to those questions, and I'll admit the isolation is almost entirely of my own doing.
Whenever I get too many messages I get overwhelmed and tend not to respond to people, I'm horrible at responding to others as I usually don't have my phone or any messaging apps open when I try to work on art as I believe they distract me (but I think this might also be contributing to the feelings of isolation) and I rarely join calls or talk/draw with other artists which is something I wish I did a lot more often.
As you've probably read so far, I'm not great at explaining how I feel on paper, and I'm simultaneously very hard on myself. Maybe unfairly so. If someone is upset, I'll convince myself it's my fault. Something bad happens? My fault. You get the idea. This has led to a lot of anxiety and depression to build up in me. I'm always anxious that my art isn't going to be good enough and that whoever I'm giving it to will hate it. Yes I'm afraid that if I gift someone art for free, they'll somehow hate it, I realize it sounds crazy but that's how low my self-esteem is as of late.
With my most previous now EX partner, I considered them to be my better half. Very charismatic, talkative, fun and would take very little BS from others. It was something I admired in them, but it eventually became a bit of jealousy on my end. It's not easy to admit that I was jealous of my own partner at the time, but it always felt like people liked him and only tolerated me because I was an artist or because I was his partner.
My partner also got a lot of art with others, which I'm very glad that others are kind enough to give him such nice things as he does deserve them, but I really started to feel as if my art wasn't special to them anymore. Maybe all I wanted to hear was "good job" or "I love it" a little more often, but I'd never ask them to change for my sake, even if it deeply hurt. Perhaps my codependency is what's causing my emotional turmoil, but I don't think it's wrong to want to share your heart and soul to another and selflessly give to them. I believe I still have quite a bit of healing to do, because I feel as if I have lost...well, half of me.
If you've read this far, I don't have many closing thoughts, this was mostly just to vent because these emotions have had me in a choke hold for months now. I don't think I'm doing okay, but some days are better than others, and I like to stay optimistic. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. I always love reading comments, its one of the only ways that I have felt connected with the community recently. <3
Thank you for reading, I'm going to still create art, and for all the support this community has given me, I can't ever give back enough. ;;
New Website! https://scafen.carrd.co/
Posted 3 months agoI updated my website! You can find commission info, shop links, socials and more there c:
https://scafen.carrd.co/
https://scafen.carrd.co/
Badge Commissions Open!
Posted 9 months agoI'm going to open for some badge commissions ^^
They'll be $120 flat, and done in a similar style as seen in these links:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59174999/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59164088/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59016380/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58823302/
If you're interested in getting one, please fill out the form here: https://forms.gle/mTfKBjgzzzUcgic57
Please note, these badges will NOT be printed and mailed, as our printer is currently having some issues, so if you'd like a physical badge you will have to print one out yourself.
They'll be $120 flat, and done in a similar style as seen in these links:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59174999/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59164088/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59016380/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58823302/
If you're interested in getting one, please fill out the form here: https://forms.gle/mTfKBjgzzzUcgic57
Please note, these badges will NOT be printed and mailed, as our printer is currently having some issues, so if you'd like a physical badge you will have to print one out yourself.
Art Packs & Cold Embrace HD
Posted a year agoHello! Wanted to make a post saying that I now have a Itch.io! https://scafen.itch.io/
You can find art packs full of my work over the past couple of years as well as the entirety of my Cold Embrace comic in full HD!
I'll continue to post all of my digital goods here as I have some fun stuff planned in the future! Thanks for being interested in my goofy stuff :3
Posted using PostyBirb
You can find art packs full of my work over the past couple of years as well as the entirety of my Cold Embrace comic in full HD!
I'll continue to post all of my digital goods here as I have some fun stuff planned in the future! Thanks for being interested in my goofy stuff :3
Posted using PostyBirb
Revamped Patreon, Discord Server & Subscribestar
Posted a year agoHey! I try not to advertise much on here, but I recently redid my entire Patreon and Discord server, there's more benefits and a lot of the old benefits are much cheaper now!
In addition, all the same benefits can be found on SubscribeStar as well now, with Discord benefits for both ^^
No pressure to join at all, but Patrons help fund comics like Cold Embrace, and future projects like an animation I just did. Either way I will continue to post my content on here for free, thank you for enjoying my art <3
Patreon
SubscribeStar
Discord server
In addition, all the same benefits can be found on SubscribeStar as well now, with Discord benefits for both ^^
No pressure to join at all, but Patrons help fund comics like Cold Embrace, and future projects like an animation I just did. Either way I will continue to post my content on here for free, thank you for enjoying my art <3
Patreon
SubscribeStar
Discord server
Blehhh
Posted 2 years agoHope everyone has had a great new year so far and enjoyed the holidays!
I spent most of mine sick and in bed haha, as well as the holidays themselves being pretty lame…but we're back to drawing now, and I'm feeling great! :3
Just wanted to give a small update and to wish everyone a late happy new years! Expect a lot more art soon! <3
I spent most of mine sick and in bed haha, as well as the holidays themselves being pretty lame…but we're back to drawing now, and I'm feeling great! :3
Just wanted to give a small update and to wish everyone a late happy new years! Expect a lot more art soon! <3
Why the comic has been taking so long
Posted 2 years agoHey! I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while, since I feel it’s only fair to others who are enjoying the comic. Originally, I had planned on doing a page once every two weeks/one month, but I underestimated how much work a comic page took. This isn’t actually the main reason however, I consider myself a fairly hard-working ‘bold, but what eventually showed itself to be an issue to the comic was the style I had gone with.
With the style I had chosen, it was one I was comfortable with at the time because all of my pieces withing that timeframe coincided with it. But after making the first couple of pages, I started to hate it.
For a little over a year now, I’ve been trying to adapt or my “cartoony” style, using cell-shading and more dynamic/exaggerated expressions. And with me trying to do this with a comic that to me was using a style I was trying to move away from, work on the comic became frustrating because I felt I couldn’t adapt everything I was learning to my ongoing comic. That being said, there is still a very valid question to address;
“Why not just change the style of the comic to how you would like it in the first place?”
With this being my first comic, I was in over my head and I didn’t realize that doing something like that would be considered normal. Most of the comics and other long-form projects I had seen up till then had a consistent style throughout, so I assumed I also had to do that.
I am still not happy that I am changing styles since I feel it will hurt the consistency, but it’s not worth me hating what I had originally had a lot of fun doing. It should also be noted that even after the 6 or so years of me drawing, I still don’t feel comfortable and consistent with my style, I’m not sure if I ever will, but that’s part of the learning process if I intend to continue to improve.
I hope that this post can help shed some light onto my sporadic uploading and work schedule for the comic. There are other things I could go into like how I simply enjoy working on a lot of different projects and how I am a full-time student now, but ultimately it isn’t important. Work on the comic will still continue, if anything at a better pace and schedule now with what I’ve explained in verbatim, and I really appreciate all the support that I’ve been getting for it. <3
If for whatever reason the comic does fall behind again, I try to be fair and give a reason why to my Patrons and I do not charge anyone for that month.
With the style I had chosen, it was one I was comfortable with at the time because all of my pieces withing that timeframe coincided with it. But after making the first couple of pages, I started to hate it.
For a little over a year now, I’ve been trying to adapt or my “cartoony” style, using cell-shading and more dynamic/exaggerated expressions. And with me trying to do this with a comic that to me was using a style I was trying to move away from, work on the comic became frustrating because I felt I couldn’t adapt everything I was learning to my ongoing comic. That being said, there is still a very valid question to address;
“Why not just change the style of the comic to how you would like it in the first place?”
With this being my first comic, I was in over my head and I didn’t realize that doing something like that would be considered normal. Most of the comics and other long-form projects I had seen up till then had a consistent style throughout, so I assumed I also had to do that.
I am still not happy that I am changing styles since I feel it will hurt the consistency, but it’s not worth me hating what I had originally had a lot of fun doing. It should also be noted that even after the 6 or so years of me drawing, I still don’t feel comfortable and consistent with my style, I’m not sure if I ever will, but that’s part of the learning process if I intend to continue to improve.
I hope that this post can help shed some light onto my sporadic uploading and work schedule for the comic. There are other things I could go into like how I simply enjoy working on a lot of different projects and how I am a full-time student now, but ultimately it isn’t important. Work on the comic will still continue, if anything at a better pace and schedule now with what I’ve explained in verbatim, and I really appreciate all the support that I’ve been getting for it. <3
If for whatever reason the comic does fall behind again, I try to be fair and give a reason why to my Patrons and I do not charge anyone for that month.
Itaku!
Posted 2 years agoI have one in case anyone would like to see my content there as well ^^
https://itaku.ee/profile/scarf
https://itaku.ee/profile/scarf
Commissions CLOSED Thank you!
Posted 3 years agoI'm probably going to be opening up again soon since I liked so many of the ideas people sent in! Thank you for anyone that was interested <3
Commissions CLOSED
Posted 3 years agoHey! I'm opening for keyword commissions!
More information can be found in the form here: https://forms.gle/6373f1ESB1sCfqxQA
These commissions are NOT first come first serve. The form will close on Monday Nov 21st and I will pick 3-5 ideas.
Commissions will be a flat $250 for a cell shaded-simple background picture. (+50% per additional character)
Examples can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49817384/ | https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49774707/)
Payment is made through PayPal or Venmo only, depending on commissioner preference.
Please note, I will lean more towards scalies and other characters I will be comfortable drawing, and I will take a lot of artistic freedom on the picture. Local Colorado Furs
Posted 3 years agoHey! I'm looking to meet more locals in CO! (or neighboring states, I don't mind a bit of a drive) If anyone is a local to CO or knows someone that is, I'd love to chat or hang out sometime! If you'd like to reach out, my Telegram: Scafen / Discord: Scarf#6969
I want to give up
Posted 3 years agoAs per the title, my energy & motivation to continue drawing or anything for that matter, really, have gone down the drain. I don't think I've wanted to give up this badly since I originally started drawing, and when the prospect of becoming a successful artist seemed impossible to me. But with everything going on, talk of AI art, me having lost countless friends ever since I've started this, and slowly dipping deeper into depression, I'm not sure how much more I can take. I feel like I have nothing outside my art, no external motivators, and I can't even feel good about giving gift art to others anymore because I've had a few cases of that coming back and hurting me later on pop up recently, which really took the wind out of my sails.
Hearing from others that they felt as if I only made them art for my own personal gain is incredibly hurtful. Statements like these make me want to stop making gifts for others entirely, which the whole reason I even got into art was to make my partner at the time art of his character. If I had known initially how isolating and lonely this would leave me in the long run, I would not have started to begin with. That may sound ironic considering the amount of people that I talk to a day, but I have no other word to describe this feeling other than lonely. For a while, I was getting some temporary companionship from sex to remedy the feeling, but it's not near enough to mask the pain anymore. If your initial thought is, "If you're so lonely, why don't you just hang out with friends?" then I am glad that you have not lost a partner that meant everything to you at one point or another.
I feel as if there is nothing to look forwards to anymore. I've improved myself in every aspect I can think of (physically, diet-wise, going to therapy, etc.) and I have nobody to share it with, so it feels very meaningless. Not only that, but I have no desire for materialistic things or money. The only time I feel myself pushing through a task and feeling good about it, is if the task isn't just for my own personal gain. I don't believe that's inherently a bad thing, especially if you recall the reason I got into drawing in the first place.
I understand that I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, and I have hurt others unwillingly because of them. But I've tried to make amends, only to feel as if I'm just a background friend, tolerated since I'm an artist and I can draw people free art. I have no other word to describe how I feel other than lonely, and tired. Despite all this, I will likely continue to draw since I have nothing outside of it, but I don't know how long it'll hold me together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want help...
EDIT: I just want to say I have read over every comment, I am quite overwhelmed by the amount of support so I cannot respond to everyone. But I appreciate it all regardless <3
Hearing from others that they felt as if I only made them art for my own personal gain is incredibly hurtful. Statements like these make me want to stop making gifts for others entirely, which the whole reason I even got into art was to make my partner at the time art of his character. If I had known initially how isolating and lonely this would leave me in the long run, I would not have started to begin with. That may sound ironic considering the amount of people that I talk to a day, but I have no other word to describe this feeling other than lonely. For a while, I was getting some temporary companionship from sex to remedy the feeling, but it's not near enough to mask the pain anymore. If your initial thought is, "If you're so lonely, why don't you just hang out with friends?" then I am glad that you have not lost a partner that meant everything to you at one point or another.
I feel as if there is nothing to look forwards to anymore. I've improved myself in every aspect I can think of (physically, diet-wise, going to therapy, etc.) and I have nobody to share it with, so it feels very meaningless. Not only that, but I have no desire for materialistic things or money. The only time I feel myself pushing through a task and feeling good about it, is if the task isn't just for my own personal gain. I don't believe that's inherently a bad thing, especially if you recall the reason I got into drawing in the first place.
I understand that I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, and I have hurt others unwillingly because of them. But I've tried to make amends, only to feel as if I'm just a background friend, tolerated since I'm an artist and I can draw people free art. I have no other word to describe how I feel other than lonely, and tired. Despite all this, I will likely continue to draw since I have nothing outside of it, but I don't know how long it'll hold me together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want help...
EDIT: I just want to say I have read over every comment, I am quite overwhelmed by the amount of support so I cannot respond to everyone. But I appreciate it all regardless <3
Alternate Persona
Posted 3 years agoI've been tempted to make an alternate persona just so I can enjoy genuine conversation again... Maybe it's all in my head, but it feels like most people only want to talk to me because I'm an artist, and it's a horrible feeling. I really don't enjoy feeling like I have to maintain professionalism around every little thing I say, leading me to stay almost silent most of the time and ignore a lot of messages. It's simply making me depressed, feeling like I'm just an artist, and not an actual person. I don't enjoy the onslaught of constant messages trying to force small talk, only for me to accidentally or intentionally ignore it and have them guilt trip me because I didn't respond. Every single message I send drains me, having to ensure I sound professional at all time.
I know I can just "Not worry about sounding professional" but how I interact with others on here directly affects how others see my art and how they may reconsider getting art from me because of how they've heard I might act. Whether that information is true or not. Maybe I want too much, and I should just get used to it. And just to be sure I'm clear, I'm not talking about those who come to me saying they love my art, those kinds of messages warm my heart. I understand a lot of people get anxious when they try to talk to an artist they like, and it's normal for them to want to talk with the artist they like, but part of me misses having a conversation with someone that didn't already know so much about me.
I don't know if any other artist, or just anyone in general can relate to these feelings, but this is something I've considered for about a year now. Perhaps I'm just reflecting my insecurities onto an uncorrelated issue, or I just have a bad opinion on this whole thing, but I personally feel unhappy about the current situation. Making an alt account with no correlations with my main account sounds so refreshing to me, especially since it's been so hard to make genuine friends or other relationships on here.
I know I can just "Not worry about sounding professional" but how I interact with others on here directly affects how others see my art and how they may reconsider getting art from me because of how they've heard I might act. Whether that information is true or not. Maybe I want too much, and I should just get used to it. And just to be sure I'm clear, I'm not talking about those who come to me saying they love my art, those kinds of messages warm my heart. I understand a lot of people get anxious when they try to talk to an artist they like, and it's normal for them to want to talk with the artist they like, but part of me misses having a conversation with someone that didn't already know so much about me.
I don't know if any other artist, or just anyone in general can relate to these feelings, but this is something I've considered for about a year now. Perhaps I'm just reflecting my insecurities onto an uncorrelated issue, or I just have a bad opinion on this whole thing, but I personally feel unhappy about the current situation. Making an alt account with no correlations with my main account sounds so refreshing to me, especially since it's been so hard to make genuine friends or other relationships on here.
Patreon
Posted 3 years agoI really don't advertise it much outside of the signatures on my pictures, but I do have a Patreon if you like my art and want to support me <3 I do post up the HD files of my art up on there as well, and I don't time gate any content over there for the time being. patreon.com/scafen
I also have a Ko-Fi as well ^^ ko-fi.com/scafen
Don't feel like you have to give anything, I will continue to create art for the foreseeable future regardless! <3
Thank you for all the support!
I also have a Ko-Fi as well ^^ ko-fi.com/scafen
Don't feel like you have to give anything, I will continue to create art for the foreseeable future regardless! <3
Thank you for all the support!
Commissions Closed Thank You!
Posted 4 years agoClosed, thank you! I've DM'd who I chose, I hope to open up again soon if I didn't pick you this time around<3
Commissions! (CLOSED)
Posted 4 years agoHey! I'm open for commissions over on Twitter! But anyone who's interested can also comment under here as well ^^ https://twitter.com/Scafenafterdark.....15823475965954
Leave a comment of an idea you'd like me to draw as well as a link to visual reference of your character and I'll pick 4 people in 24 hours. Thank you for the support! (Notes are also fine)
Link to my TOS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
Leave a comment of an idea you'd like me to draw as well as a link to visual reference of your character and I'll pick 4 people in 24 hours. Thank you for the support! (Notes are also fine)
Link to my TOS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
10k Raffle!
Posted 4 years agoHello! I'm hosting a big raffle over on my Twitter to celebrate 10k followers ^^ Feel free to join if you'd like~ https://twitter.com/Scafenafterdark.....48438949765120
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Posted 4 years agoI always thought that becoming an artist would help me meet new people and friends but I feel it’s only become increasingly harder over time. The people I do actually want to reach out to, I always shy away from because I’m afraid I’ll scare them away due to me being some big artist or something so I never even actually grow the courage to message them. And that probably plays on both ends if someone wanted to message me in turn, they might shy away due to my follower count or just the fact that I’m an artist. I will admit up front that I am not good at talking or small talk, at least over text, I’m a very quiet and reserved person, to the point some would call me a recluse, or at least would in the past, but I do try my best when it comes to making connections. It honestly feels like I’m not a human being first and foremost, but an artist first, then a human being after. On top of all that, it doesn’t help that I then have to be wary of every new person who may want to become friends or more with me in case they were just in it for the fact that I am an artist. Ever since I’ve become an artist, all I’ve done is lose more friends than gain, and slip lower and lower into my own growing pit of seething loneliness, either from my own actions or from someone else’s. The loneliness only grows as I refuse or ignore messages due to my own safety barrier that I’ve put up to protect myself from more abuse and hurt to myself, but honestly, the barrier is doing more harm than good. In my mind, the emotional abuse I’ve received over the past few years was a good thing, something I could look back on to strengthen myself; but it’s gotten to the point that I’m so weary of meeting new people I can barely form any meaningful relationships anymore, only helping to feed my loneliness more. The fact that I’ve pushed and refused so many people out of my life has caused much more hurt than any of the abuse or trauma ever could. Maybe this is just something that will get better over time, I’ll meet new people soon, make new relationships, maybe even find love again, but it doesn’t help the pain I’m feeling now. I’ve held onto hope for too long, hope for a better future and to better myself physically and emotionally, but it seems I still have a lot to work on for the latter. I can’t simply sit around hoping for things to get better anymore, I’ve made a ton of improvements in my life that I thought would help switch things around in my life, but most of it seems negligible at this point. I’ve grown confident with myself and I’ve lost a lot of weight, but for what...I’m the only one looking in the mirror...
I’m asking for help, and that takes a lot for me to even say aloud, but I want people to meet again, and to feel like I’m more than just an artist to people, to enjoy life outside of just the artwork I create because creating art is one of the only things that can make me feel joy on a daily basis anymore.
I appreciate if you've read all this through, it took me years to even begin putting my feelings down like this on paper, but I don’t want to lie to people anymore about how I’m feeling. And I don’t want to feel like I have to wear a filter over my mouth for every little thing I say, I’m simply done with it.
I appreciate all the friends I do have, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever hidden from you or lied in order to maintain what I previously thought was best for me.
I’m asking for help, and that takes a lot for me to even say aloud, but I want people to meet again, and to feel like I’m more than just an artist to people, to enjoy life outside of just the artwork I create because creating art is one of the only things that can make me feel joy on a daily basis anymore.
I appreciate if you've read all this through, it took me years to even begin putting my feelings down like this on paper, but I don’t want to lie to people anymore about how I’m feeling. And I don’t want to feel like I have to wear a filter over my mouth for every little thing I say, I’m simply done with it.
I appreciate all the friends I do have, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever hidden from you or lied in order to maintain what I previously thought was best for me.
Discord
Posted 5 years agoI'm remaking this journal since I had to take down the old link due to some problematic members joining, but since then we've fleshed out quite a few of the issues and added more moderation, so I'm more confident opening the link back up to the public. The community is very welcoming and chill, so feel free to join plus I occasionally stream on there too ^^. https://discord.gg/r4eQCsCxjR
Birthday
Posted 5 years agoSorry for the confusion with the birthday art, but my birthday was on the 22nd, I just hadn't gotten around to uploading the art till now. I appreciate all the birthday wishes tho <3
1k watchers
Posted 5 years agoHello! Wasn't expecting this many followers in such a short time, I just reached 2k followers on Twitter so I've been trying to do something special for that. I'll try to post a raffle or something within the coming weeks here. Thanks for all the support <3
500 watcher raffle winner
Posted 5 years agoWinner is #13: 
bunsen.dragon The winner was based off a 1-22 random number generator. Thanks for everyone that entered ^w^
bunsen.dragon The winner was based off a 1-22 random number generator. Thanks for everyone that entered ^w^500 watcher headshot/mawshot raffle
Posted 5 years agoThanks for 500 watchers!
Rules:
- Can only be a headshot or mawshot
- I will not draw in any other style than my own. Examples of style: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35605106/ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35853784/ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35322538/
- You DO NOT have to be watching me to enter, although it would be nice~
- Must have a reference sheet or artwork of some kind of the character you want me to draw.
- Will only draw OC's for this
- Comment your reference sheet and I will put you in the raffle
- The winner is picked from a random number generator
- Only one character, please
- I prefer to draw reptiles, but I can try and do other species as well!~
- Can be soft shaded or kept flat colors
- Winner will be chosen in 3 days (4/23/20)
Thanks again for all the watchers! Really helps inspire me to draw more
Rules:
- Can only be a headshot or mawshot
- I will not draw in any other style than my own. Examples of style: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35605106/ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35853784/ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35322538/
- You DO NOT have to be watching me to enter, although it would be nice~
- Must have a reference sheet or artwork of some kind of the character you want me to draw.
- Will only draw OC's for this
- Comment your reference sheet and I will put you in the raffle
- The winner is picked from a random number generator
- Only one character, please
- I prefer to draw reptiles, but I can try and do other species as well!~
- Can be soft shaded or kept flat colors
- Winner will be chosen in 3 days (4/23/20)
Thanks again for all the watchers! Really helps inspire me to draw more
Also
Posted 5 years agoJust a quick question, is there any other kinks you guys want me to maybe try and draw? Most of my stuff has been pretty vanilla, but I would like to try other things as well! Let me know if there is something you guys want me to try, but none of the gross/vile stuff. Preferably something that fits well with my lighthearted style.
More doodles
Posted 5 years agoAs per my last journal, I am planning on drawing more of your characters~ just had a bit of a stomach flu these past few days but I'll get around to sketching some more soon enough~
