well its ofishal fuck this family i almost got into a brawl with my grandfather. well heres my side of the story you can ask him personally on his side if you want .

i was in my room and i heard him go off on my grandmother about a small piece of plastic. i came out saying *hey hey hey calm down theres no need---* he cuts me of and charges me with his walker and was face to face with me grabbing my throught and swatting me.. (i haft to say for an old guy ive been hit better by a damn 13 year old) besides that i stood him up and he was grabbing me and i stood my ground about ready to swing back. then grandma comes and steps inbetween us and hes still grabbing my throught i grab his hand a few times hitting a pressure point in his hand to get him off.. he fineally gives one more scare lundge and walks back to his coutch leaving me by the front door in the same position untill he sits down and calles me a no life punk.... puhhh hes lucky i have the nerve to hold back because i could ive put him back in the hospital easly and faced murder charges... but i am a person who cant hurt the elderly or women i hate it when the elderly are abused and women are abused so i stray far away from touching eather of the ages/sexes.... fuck im fumed i just got finished with my 3rd cigrette.. im current ly repressing and still dooing it to comfront the old bastard and his actions... well i have no whare to go and im done with this bull shit between his fucking attatude and my grandmothers controlling issues.. im fucking moving out and changing my adresses to the streets well i otta start calling my bank, job finder person, mail service. im going to be bussy all day.

multaple resons why i want to switch back but youll figure that out once you see it about facebook.... heres my myspace


http://myspace.com/fate6677

playing ((a goofy movie)) come join us ^.^ bring your friends and meet oathers

http://www.livestream.com/fatesch

live streaming balto 2 in 10 come join and enjoy the movie http://www.livestream.com/fatesch

im set up for live streamming movies come all come join ill do eppsodes movies and evain random improv from yours truely me^.^ hehe well ill post on my fa and my new Facebook page(((((((( MOVIE NIGHT!!!!!! )))))

damn i keep dooing this im gonna get some kind of sleep apnia...... wate i allredy do dammit
again with the random spurts... ok let me explain there are some days or weeks that ill have regular sleep then with no warning ill have some kind of spurt that i cant sleep ive tried all the ideas for sleeping but as all i cant sleep for 3 or 6 days it SUCKS!!!!!

PS: ive allredy talked to a doctor and he recomends medicene.... i slapped the mother ^&@%$@ (not really) but really i told him thet i refuse any medication ether over the counter or proscription. screw that im not dooing it because they eather enhance the fact that i wont be able to sleep or i go into a chronic sleep where i go to bed sleep for all day wake up for one hour than im back to bed....... man i hate this

and last time i took meds for sleeping i was awake and couldnt sleep for almost 2 weeks i was up 8 days before i actually got some sleep... soo yah im just riding it out so if you do see me on face book early im on one of those days again

get ready guys as like i said that id keep you posted on some bike rides there awesome
july 18 2013 theres a bike ride up near auburn CA heres the road weel meet on Lake Clementine Rd off of Foresthill Rd in auburn area

the meet starts at 3pm and ends withe the last ride at close to 7 or 8pm call me for oather details if needed (916) 945-1420 id love to see your fuzz butts there ^.^

attention furrs near or local to auburn bike meets according to plan theirs one 7/8/13 at 11 am - 7 pm ill plan for more meets in the future if you've missed recent ones there will be mountain biking hiking and walks but this time its mountain biking location old auburn Rd theirs a 10$ parking fee to park but i think that theirs free parking else where but besides that it will be fun and enjoyable


don't hesitate to call or leave me a message
(916) 945-1420 tell me your real name and fursona name

OK id like to throw this one down because im pretty sure that theirs other ways of doing it and the word is (HATE) no im not talking about food or items that you dislike on your plate.... not at all.. im talking about interaction between one another::: short term for that are (HATERS)- people who fuel the fire and or spread it among others.
i haft to say ive been in some situations in school home and in the general public that use the terms (your GAY - faggot - or other words i cant think of at this time) ok let me straighten this out for some of you who dont know know the real terms of these words (faggot is the meaning of the butt of a cigarette and a burning pile of sticks) (gay is the meaning for proud and loving the same sex and happy) so with the miss usage of these terms like (your F-ing GAY bro,,,, dude quit being a fag) are irrelevant comments that people make. its pointless and useless to make these comments to get under some ones skin. but i do under stand that its hard for haters to accept people and or get the wrong message of some sort but there people who experience the same problems as us and dont know how to express there problems like us with our friends art and social abilities. correct me if im wrong in any of what im saying. but haters are people like us that dis like others to be rather feel good about them selves or try to release their stress on others because their being bullied or abused in some way. (now dont take what i said in such a way that its offensive because that is not what im getting at.) but what i am getting at is try your best to show them friend ship and compulsion and show them what you like if they dont admire it than thats their choice but believe that they will look back and think (man that was stupid i just blew off a good friend ship) doesn't happen every time but it will happen with some one else ^.^
OK now to wrap up this thought be kind and be proud in your work and abilities and dont let others get under your skin (i know that's easier said than done) but think about it and be happy because may you can change a haters heart around ^.^

Well besides the lack of luck with my job search secuess im dooing great ^.^ im planning on a local furr nature walk whos near by bring your tails suits and what ever else you bring to a nature walk hehe ill post detales on face book and in the comments here when i have a location and time that every one can meat at ^.^ it will be soo fun hope fully we can have some games going and meet new furrs dont hesatate to ask when and whare but like i said ill post links in the commentswhen i have the location ready ^.^ have a pawsome day and a furry night ^.^ hehe

YAH HARRROOOSSSS i agree its been a while but i have good news better news and bad news...... luck of the draw im gonna go with the bad first and make you happy with the better news well here goes nothing....

bad news---> the relation ship between her and me is not going that well and also i found out that i wasnt ready for a relationship yet so im gonna bring her down a notch and keep her as a friend insted of a mate ^.^ theres oathers out there i just haft to wate till im ready

side note---> thank you for the voting ^.^ it was great hearing your yesses but its my choice to cut it off or bring it down ^.^

good news---> i have 3 weeks to keep my good grades before graduation and im sorta have an F in Econ but ill bring it up before the dead line im good for that ^.^ oohh and im planning if your local to cali or the citrus hights area for a furr walk with the locals if not the roseville mall will be better for you furr butts ^.^

better news---> im planning on eather the militarry or moving to lake tahaoe to the camp sit on the south shore... or get dropped off for the sumer on the south shore to clear my mind then after the summer months i may wanna try to go into the NAVY.... idk though it sounds like a good idea ^.^

welll im dooing exclent except a certin some one who will not be named right now and will be named later in my next update......
well her and i have 2 nd period to gather and its been a few days that ive onely sat at her table .... ok cut the chase she is a smoker and i havent smoked a cigrett in almost 2 years and she pulls out one and im fucking stuped enough to take one fuck me thats my fault not hers sun on me for breaking a streak.... ok sell she is 16 and im 18 idk if thats a big distance but she wants to go out with me and i told her that id think about it.... i have major trust issues with the love in general and if i say no then shell back of and just be a good friend ^.^ she agreed to that.... but she is 16 im 18 wtf???? am i dooing is one side telling me and the oather side is saying give it a chance.... fuck i voued not to date anny one but its a choice that fate hast to make ... right???? hmmmm the way i just read this .... IM FALLING?!?!?!?!?!?!?! FUCK FACE PALM OK I NEED A VOTE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!


(love) ses that i go with her and gives her a chance
(ney) ses that no and just keep her as a friend

well as you may know im not the best artest but i do, do my best at the digital art ^.^ my hand is better at traditional art work hehe ^.^'
besides that im ready for comition trades ^.^ (you ask for a piece of art that i will draw for you and in return you will draw one as well) <---
thats if you dont know what a comition trade is hehe ^.^ but yah thats open and im wiling to try anny thing new hit me up here or private message me if you want to do a trade ^.^ ttyl for now and have a good one ^.^

well we got clear minds with partly clouded chance of entertain ment for tomarrow lolz ^.^

besides my weather report im dooing fine and healthy ^.^ and now im going to do commitions
BUT there will be a fee of you sending me something of your work aswell like a casual art trade
(I DO WARN YOU IM NOT THE BEST AT THIS DIGITAL ART BUT ITS WORTH THE PRATICE)
IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT YOU CAN HELP ME OUT BY MABY ASKING WHAT YOU WANT ^.^

I can do decent enough heads and upper torsos im not that intuned with drawling the whole boty but
im slowly getting better ^.^ soon ill be taking full commitions and will set up a pay pal acc for transfers
but for now we can art trade ^.^

(For me to make you a comition you will also do a comition for me as well im not the best quality worker but i will do my best
to give you my best handy work ^.^)

I just haft to shoot this out for the fun of the subject ^.^.... And the saying goes (when life gives you lemons you make lemonade) I think if that's a good day ^.^... Now here's my version (when life gives you lemons you squeeze them in some ones eyes)
{Now no one take that literally I don't want to see law suites!!!!}
The definition from me is if you don't like some one or you are being teased/bullied/mestwith you out smart them with logical terms use big words ^.^ like the pronoun for ass hole is like hello (there name here) how's your days? (response) oohh sounds like you are having fun.. (Ass hole response). oohh that's good (greedy smile) hey how about you partake in a game... It's called (in-tro-ag-ti-tive)... (They ask the definition for the word) your response is????? Your playing it right now ^.^... (Ass hole: how?) your asking stuped questions that's how your playing it ^.^... (Rather they walk away or you walk away) and they are left confused trying to link up the word and its Origen Lolz it's made up they will spend decades looking for it because the human mind can't go with a word and not want to look it up or it will get stuck in their head like a bad song... It's been oafishally proven by me ^.^ hehe try it you might like the results ^.^...

im trying my best to get the pictures off my i phone on to i tunes and its not budging ill probably have a photo bomb soon hehe... hopefully i can figure things out soon im getting better on my sketches ^.^ well ill post all my art pics as soon as i can figure out why my i tunes is acting up and not allowing to go from or to my phone....

thank you all for your coments and likes ^.^ i also thank you for bearing with me through my depressing journalls... but i garentee that from now on i fate will have a better life than the skum bags that raised me!!!!!! i will have positive journals to the best of my abilites ^.^ im doing weh better here in lincoln ca ^.^ .. well 1,2 skipp a few 99,100
ART i will sooon be taking comishions but it wont be for a while i still need to brush up on my art about and it needs to be about 67% better so ive put my self on a regament of atleast one art piece a day and i haft to contribute to the art piece to make it look good ^.^.. hehe besides that ill be posting my progress and will soon open for comitions ^.^ yeay soo proud of my self ^.^ (fluttershy squeek) well a breaf back story......

raised by an abusive family and moved around to 32 different schools... i hate them and they hate me.... now im living with grandmother and dooing wagh better i gand some waight i wed 98-99 pounds when i was in major depression back then now i weh 115 and 5""3 hehe i know still a little under waight but im eating healthy and excersiseing ^.^ (squeek) and lastly i havent made manny friends at the school that im at but im hope full i can get over theis fear i acumulated over the years (afraid of being in a group and constantly looking over my shoulder because im like super nervous in the general public) im weh better over skype or face book.... besides that conclufding im getting better at art and life.... fate and karma are my saveurs (fate takes me down the right path and the hurdels i need to face,, karma puts me in my place and keeps a smile on my face^.^....


ok ill talk to yalls soon dont hesatate to comment or fave me ^.^

well the fact that ive been living the horrable shitty life that im in and pelt my self with guilt and blame my self. well not any more ( http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4120777/ ) < referring to my strength journal. with where im at with my life i well definetally man up and get my life on track. i am going to need as much support as possable because it will be a fight with this family but i will do it i will change my life for the better. so fate and carma are om my side and hopefully a god is there. if theres one backing me and my dision. i do hope i can get through this it will be a dark day that day i get that chance to leave this abusive family. i beg of this day soon please i beg. well if theres some one out there please send me your most creative and helpful comment that will put some light in me and push me to my goal to break free of thiss hell of where im in. i will die soon if i dont suxceed in what i will be dooing because all this pent up anger and sadness will weeken a heart phisically and mentally. so help and coment please. and thank you for the people who care in pushing me out of this hole that was dug for me. ^.^ have an exclent day and a wounderful life and hope for the best i do hope i can greaduate soon so i can also get to the navy or a good career.

whith where my life is right now im dooing better besides the side conversation me and richard have. but ive been journaling a lot more lately (hmmp) the fact that i cant kill my self because its pointless (4 failed atemps) sell its like this. suck it up and keep moving foward and hope to some god there will be somethign good for you if your fate and karma take you in the right direction. so far it is ^.^ . ive been hurdling moutins sence i for got but i will soon come to a good side of things and get my life straightened and get better and hapyer as far as i know im a depressing fun person (i know what your thinking depressing and fun do not mix) but its true im enjoyable and fun when around oathers on second life but when in public im depressing and an utter nervous wreck i can say hello and look good but onely for so long then im quiet and cant talk then just shuts my own trap. yah i know depressing right but when the my cards are played right ill get my depressing self out of this rut/hole and get a real life. no one can do that alone.. thats why i have the best people and group supporting me.. the furry fandom and all of its members and friends who are in it. ^.^ like a large tailed family. yeay!! man my stomich kills me but this is all true what im saying and my body is trying its best to not let it out all at once. like i sed i have onely the emotions of anger and sadness. when im happy im not really happy its a nervous smile that i can make good of.

i looked up the term love and heres what i got.
Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.[1] Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".[2] Love may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.[3] winkapedia.com
i still dont feel it i must be so heartless that i have no emotions.... hmm... IDK i dont feel it. i cant. with my past history my heart is solid as a rock. with all the built up anger and sadness and hurt ive endured. i where my past like a scar that i gave to my self the burn on my arm. i look at it and it remindes of the most abusive day i ever endured.. (not gonna speak of it) ive seen what love is about from parents who suposedably loved each other and friends who dated one another it awlys turns out bad so i avoid the wird love at times. unless its an inanimate object or hobie i have.. so goes my question what is love? how would express it? what does it feel like? how can i love? i am so terrfied of it for some sort of reson? maby its because ive kept the word love and in my turms its this.
love is 2 people who have a burning sensation between eachother.[1] love is temporary.[2] love is abuse to one another.[3] love hurts in anyway shape or form.[4] love is FAKED attraction.[5]
DONT HESATATE TO COMENT IF I OFFEND YOU AND THESE ARE MY POINT OF VIEWS DONT TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY.. ME EXZEMPT

ok i have just got home i got a flat half way home caled richard (grandfather) to pick me up so i dont haft to carrry my bike the other 3 miles... so after i get home i look up wallmart and price inter tubes for my back tire. (reson of being it was really old tire and was cracked and it gave in) so i asked richard for a 20$, he gave me the 20$ and i went to the store i came back, fixed the tire and i get on the computer.. (conversation)
richard: do you have home work? ME: no i wasnt assigned any. richard: why dony you socalise with your own pears? ME: because i chose not to because i feel if i socalise with others in the fact most of them are idiots and all im there for is to learn. i dont need a smart ass trying to challenge me in a fight. richard: so what you should be making friends and hanging out at oathers houses like a normal teenager. ME: NORMAL why would i want to be normal when i can stay to my self and not get in trouble or in any fights or evain be encouraged back in to smoking cigrets evain though i quit... thats normal in this future society.. i do socalise its called SECOND LIFE.. and its varry soalising.... richard: soo you should still get a friend its not like heel be your friend for ever you are intellengent, smart, inquised,... get a friend and socalise. get of that damn game and go get a friend. ME: (no wancer looks back at computer) richard: your are a dumbass. (walks out)

really!!!!!! you expect me to get a friend at this new school that i tranceferd to within a week?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HELL NO im going to keep to my self and not talk to any one unless im in a group.. who needs to talk to people who act like 6 year olds and complain about nothing. just because you didnt get that sell phone or you didnt win the popularity contest doesnt mean you haft to throw a hissy fir and start a fight... (fucking idiots)