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An Important Update About My Age
Posted 4 months agoHey everyone,
I never thought I’d have to make a post like this. Honestly, this isn’t easy for me. But I believe in transparency with my followers, and you deserve to know the truth.
As of today, I am no longer 33.
I understand if you feel hurt, confused, or even betrayed by this news. I want to be clear: this was not an easy decision. I’ve tried everything—from forbidden rituals to questionable energy drinks—but the passage of time has proven, once again, to be unavoidable.
I know I said I was “eternally 33 in spirit” during a prior commission. That wasn’t a lie. It was just… aspirational.
Some of you have followed me since I was 18, and I see you. Your support means the world, even when I vanish for six months and come back with a totally different sona species.
Please understand: the person you knew as a 33-year-old may be gone, but a new era begins. Version 34 may have more back pain and slightly different snack preferences, but they remain committed to faving tenting loincloths and not responding to comments in a timely fashion.
Thank you for your understanding,
—Sean
🎂🦡 (this year’s sona is still loading…)
PS anticipate something later today thanks to
archkat
I never thought I’d have to make a post like this. Honestly, this isn’t easy for me. But I believe in transparency with my followers, and you deserve to know the truth.
As of today, I am no longer 33.
I understand if you feel hurt, confused, or even betrayed by this news. I want to be clear: this was not an easy decision. I’ve tried everything—from forbidden rituals to questionable energy drinks—but the passage of time has proven, once again, to be unavoidable.
I know I said I was “eternally 33 in spirit” during a prior commission. That wasn’t a lie. It was just… aspirational.
Some of you have followed me since I was 18, and I see you. Your support means the world, even when I vanish for six months and come back with a totally different sona species.
Please understand: the person you knew as a 33-year-old may be gone, but a new era begins. Version 34 may have more back pain and slightly different snack preferences, but they remain committed to faving tenting loincloths and not responding to comments in a timely fashion.
Thank you for your understanding,
—Sean
🎂🦡 (this year’s sona is still loading…)
PS anticipate something later today thanks to
archkatDragoneer has passed away
Posted a year agoAs those who have been regulars here on Furaffinity have found, Sean P. "Dragoneer" Piche has passed away of complications from lung surgery to address extremely drastic lesions and nodules in the lungs. Though he had been suffering from high fever and chronic coughs over the past four months prior to medical intervention, the sudden deterioration caught us all by surprise and we as a community are still in shock from what has transpired.
On July 23, he returned after an absence of a couple of years to report that he was undergoing medical treatment for his illness. He was told that the facility had never seen a case as serious as his and that he had to go to the ER immediately, upon which the CT scan revealed the growths in his lungs. The following week, he met with a specialist that, according to Dragoneer, thinks they've narrowed it to massive infection or very acute Stage 4 lung cancer. He was to go into surgery two days later to extract and remove samples of the growths, anticipating that in 5-7 business days they would know what it was, with full recovery HOPEFULLY within the next few months.
Unfortunately, Dragoneer never got the chance.
Furaffinity was a pivotal platform for my lifestyle as a furry and has been for almost 15 years to the day (August 9, the day after the 10th FNAF anniversary), supplementing and now supplanting my original small step for a man on deviantART, which has since become more hostile over the years. I connected with some of my closest compatriots here and the site has always been a welcoming one, with much less drama than other, similar sites. The strict anti-AI stance they hold, along with the herculean effort to take back the site from imvu and become independent, have earned my respect, and these would not have been possible without him. I did not know him personally, but I know some who did. I've also suffered similar losses before, so I know how it feels. From one Sean to another, you will be missed dearly.
That said, I want to note a rather disturbing trend that I have been observing regarding the reactions, some of which use extremely concerning language. There has been much discussion concerning the healthcare that Dragoneer received, and an increasingly prevalent sentiment is that the healthcare system is directly responsible for Dragoneer's death. This has some extremely disturbing potential ramifications. The last few years have made it evident that words, particularly polarizing and aggressive language, have tremendous power, and with a userbase of at least 1.6 million, I am genuinely afraid that there will be some users, the less stable kind with nothing to lose, to jump off the edge altogether and retaliate in Dragoneer's name against an institution they perceive as having murdered him.
The parallels between this kind of rhetoric and that which was utilized by the pro-life movement cannot be ignored, and with the wide diversity of the userbase, I fear that this will not be the end of the suffering. We as a community are already marginalized, seen as "weird" by the wider population and treated accordingly at minimum. To succumb to our dark desires would have a catastrophic effect on the reputation of the furry community as a whole and will have wide-ranging consequences for years or even generations to come.
We haven't forgotten the impact that SiegedSec and Nullbulge had on their respective targets. While some might argue that in those scenarios the recipients had it coming, the personal nature of this grievance changes the threat profile entirely. It is not entirely unlikely that credible plans to compromise the proprietary information of these healthcare providers are already being made, and it is entirely possible that these bad actors could easily inflict harm that could affect millions more in the ensuing information breach of sensitive information, whether it be medical, financial, personal, and so forth.
We as a community have a moral imperative to exercise restraint and stamp out any potential for escalation of these grievances into something that has irreversible effects on those who had nothing to do with this tragedy. I would also urge the brave workers in the healthcare field, the boots on the ground nurses, doctors, and other such staff who put in countless hours to serve our country, to stay safe. They aren't the ones complicit in Dragoneer's passing. They are just as much victims of the system as he was. The grief and anger at Dragoneer's passing could lead some to unreasonable and misguided responses to their suffering, lashing out and hurting those who don't deserve it.
The temptation to do the wrong thing and hurt others in turn in Neer's name is a powerful one, but inflicting the same kind of suffering upon innocent parties is not who we are. We shouldn't just treat him as a martyr. We should focus our energies to meaningful if disruptive change. However defective the current US healthcare system is, let's not turn our grief and anger against them in a way that disregards collateral damage. Instead, let us be the change we want to see. Perhaps this will be the wakeup call that will spur our community to truly tip the scales and work towards systemic change. We cannot let that rage consume us, let alone allow more families to grieve their own losses on our account. We should direct thar energy to reform and for the benefit of everybody.
The scars of loss never truly go away, we just become used to them. No one else needs to suffer as we are now.
No one deserves to die scared and confused as Dragoneer was, ESPECIALLY not in his name.
On July 23, he returned after an absence of a couple of years to report that he was undergoing medical treatment for his illness. He was told that the facility had never seen a case as serious as his and that he had to go to the ER immediately, upon which the CT scan revealed the growths in his lungs. The following week, he met with a specialist that, according to Dragoneer, thinks they've narrowed it to massive infection or very acute Stage 4 lung cancer. He was to go into surgery two days later to extract and remove samples of the growths, anticipating that in 5-7 business days they would know what it was, with full recovery HOPEFULLY within the next few months.
Unfortunately, Dragoneer never got the chance.
Furaffinity was a pivotal platform for my lifestyle as a furry and has been for almost 15 years to the day (August 9, the day after the 10th FNAF anniversary), supplementing and now supplanting my original small step for a man on deviantART, which has since become more hostile over the years. I connected with some of my closest compatriots here and the site has always been a welcoming one, with much less drama than other, similar sites. The strict anti-AI stance they hold, along with the herculean effort to take back the site from imvu and become independent, have earned my respect, and these would not have been possible without him. I did not know him personally, but I know some who did. I've also suffered similar losses before, so I know how it feels. From one Sean to another, you will be missed dearly.
That said, I want to note a rather disturbing trend that I have been observing regarding the reactions, some of which use extremely concerning language. There has been much discussion concerning the healthcare that Dragoneer received, and an increasingly prevalent sentiment is that the healthcare system is directly responsible for Dragoneer's death. This has some extremely disturbing potential ramifications. The last few years have made it evident that words, particularly polarizing and aggressive language, have tremendous power, and with a userbase of at least 1.6 million, I am genuinely afraid that there will be some users, the less stable kind with nothing to lose, to jump off the edge altogether and retaliate in Dragoneer's name against an institution they perceive as having murdered him.
The parallels between this kind of rhetoric and that which was utilized by the pro-life movement cannot be ignored, and with the wide diversity of the userbase, I fear that this will not be the end of the suffering. We as a community are already marginalized, seen as "weird" by the wider population and treated accordingly at minimum. To succumb to our dark desires would have a catastrophic effect on the reputation of the furry community as a whole and will have wide-ranging consequences for years or even generations to come.
We haven't forgotten the impact that SiegedSec and Nullbulge had on their respective targets. While some might argue that in those scenarios the recipients had it coming, the personal nature of this grievance changes the threat profile entirely. It is not entirely unlikely that credible plans to compromise the proprietary information of these healthcare providers are already being made, and it is entirely possible that these bad actors could easily inflict harm that could affect millions more in the ensuing information breach of sensitive information, whether it be medical, financial, personal, and so forth.
We as a community have a moral imperative to exercise restraint and stamp out any potential for escalation of these grievances into something that has irreversible effects on those who had nothing to do with this tragedy. I would also urge the brave workers in the healthcare field, the boots on the ground nurses, doctors, and other such staff who put in countless hours to serve our country, to stay safe. They aren't the ones complicit in Dragoneer's passing. They are just as much victims of the system as he was. The grief and anger at Dragoneer's passing could lead some to unreasonable and misguided responses to their suffering, lashing out and hurting those who don't deserve it.
The temptation to do the wrong thing and hurt others in turn in Neer's name is a powerful one, but inflicting the same kind of suffering upon innocent parties is not who we are. We shouldn't just treat him as a martyr. We should focus our energies to meaningful if disruptive change. However defective the current US healthcare system is, let's not turn our grief and anger against them in a way that disregards collateral damage. Instead, let us be the change we want to see. Perhaps this will be the wakeup call that will spur our community to truly tip the scales and work towards systemic change. We cannot let that rage consume us, let alone allow more families to grieve their own losses on our account. We should direct thar energy to reform and for the benefit of everybody.
The scars of loss never truly go away, we just become used to them. No one else needs to suffer as we are now.
No one deserves to die scared and confused as Dragoneer was, ESPECIALLY not in his name.
The elephant in the room
Posted 2 years agoFirst of all, happy 2024. I hope your year has started out better than mine. Lord knows that mine has basically crashed on takeoff like a Max 9 30k feet in the air, with all hands lost.
I wish I could preface this with just how refreshing my holiday trip to the tropics was, but it's only been a week and a half back home and after this bout of drama I honestly want to go the fuck back. But as I will elaborate, seems like I cannot escape from drama no matter where I am on this beautiful planet.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Or in this case, the grizzly that is writhing in agony after having been doused in gasoline and set ablaze.
I lost more friends in the first week of 2024 than I've ever lost ever since the pandemic. And all that because of something I never asked to be a part of, but what's happened has happened and I cannot do anything to change it.
It all centers around an ex friend who I will refer to as Pyro (all names have been changed for the sake of the involved), as well as a once loyal sidekick who I'll refer to as Jay.
Jay and I met around the beginning of 2022 when I complemented the style of a particular work of art he did, one that I thought was pretty emotionally powerful. We shared common interests, particularly FNaF, and he liked my extensive level of detail regarding worldbuilding. We became fast friends, and I asked him to introduce me to his friends.
He wasn't initially certain, but he acceded to my request and soon, I joined Pyro's group. Now, Pyro and I had a past falling out long before I met Jay, revolving around my inability to verify my age at the time (this will be very important). Pyro forgave easily though and I soon integrated myself into the community, though there were a few bumps in the road. Lord knows that I've said and done things that made some of the moots uncomfortable, leading them to block me and myself to respond in kind. If you are one of those moots, I just want to express my apologies. Not that it matters in the end, though, as will become all too apparent.
Fast forward to my trip. I was enjoying myself in Bali when I received word that Pyro had to expel one of my lesser acquaintances (let's call him Blue) because Blue had been acting weird to minors. I still remember exactly what I said in response.
"Even on the other side of the world I can't escape [friend group] drama lol"
Evidently not...
Had I only known that it would all come crashing down almost the moment I returned home....
The first sign of trouble came to me on instagram, funnily enough. Jay posted something on his instagram that immediately caught my attention and so I came to his dms immediately asking for an explanation. That is when he threw a total bombshell that shattered everything I knew about him:
"There’s too much evidence that I can’t find myself staying w/ [Pyro] any longer.
Needless to say, I was confused and beyond mortified, so I pressed Jay to explain further. As I understand it, Pyro had gotten involved with grooming allegations raised by his former friends, leading Jay to distance himself. He also said that he had made some mistakes of his own, which he had claimed he was taking steps to take accountability for, and so he had made the decision to eschew all social media save for his friends. I then asked him whether I was still among those friends. His response was the first sign that things had already gone past the breaking point:
"Not really much has happened between us but our relationship feels kinda distant for no reason, tbh."
I should have known then and there that it was over. I wanted to believe otherwise, I wanted to give him a chance, and he did agree to that. I told him that I would make it up to him and I meant that at first.
Not even a day would pass before things truly went south between us.
I made the mistake of looking up this drama on, of all places, Twitter. It was there that I saw just how badly things had deteriorated. Everyone was blaming everyone else and emotions were most high strung.
On a side note, allow me to introduce two figures who were of central importance to the whole debacle. I will refer to them as Heidi and Vlad. Heidi had some... problems. She hated Pyro with a passion, at the very minimum since 2021 (which was also the year the two of us had a falling out). She said all sorts of things about him that seemed unbelievably outlandish, and when Jay introduced me to Pyro in mid fall 2022, I did admit that Pyro and I were at an arms' length because of her opinions about him.
Back then, Pyro and I had a complicated past; you see, in 2020 I had joined a server run by his SO who I will refer to as Frost, but due to a key misunderstanding, I failed to verify that I was not a minor and so they kicked me out and cut ties. Jay was the one to vouch for me and allow me to get back in Pyro's good graces, though I never quite made up with Frost. Not that it mattered, Pyro and I became fast friends just like I had done with Jay.
Almost immediately Pyro showed himself to be forgiving and personable and we shared lots of stories and laughs together. Sometimes I would also vent to him about problems in my life, and he would always be the voice of reason that would cool me down (ironic considering the nature of his FNaFsona). Hell, he'd been like that since we first met. And in the beginning, it was good. Now, I will be the first to admit, I was nowhere near perfect. The fact that this was around the time I was frequently on Twitter may have contributed to my hotheadedness, and that often got on his nerves. He was the kind of person who believed that it was better to wait things out and let the dice fall where they may, rather than act now and potentially get ourselves into trouble in the process for no good reason. In fact, the more I hung out with him, the more sincere he felt. He never got into any discussions of an NSFW nature with me throughout our time together, and all around he seemed like the kind of friend I needed at that time of my life. He had this, as he put it, "desire to help 'fix' people" that in part motivated his attitude towards others.
I became convinced that Heidi's assertions about him were nothing more than vicious libel borne out of a bad emotional falling out. On that note, Pyro ALSO wanted nothing to do with Heidi, even asking me to stop "talking about [Heidi], I don't even want to think of them by accident anymore," and that "They've done enough to my other friends, and enough to me"
Vlad was another former friend of Pyro's, though we never really spoke. What I do know is that by the time I had gotten to know Jay and Pyro, Vlad had long blocked me, presumably on Heidi's advice. Pyro had noticed this and at least at the time we had reconnected, Pyro and Vlad were still on good terms. Between then and now however, they too had a falling out, and what Vlad claimed the reason behind this was truly disturbing. According to Vlad, Pyro groomed him in a sexual manner when Vlad was still a minor. As I understand it, the two of them had indeed engaged in NSFW chats (which Vlad for the most part initiated), though at the time Pyro had remained ignorant of Vlad's actual age, and even then had not been diligent or courageous enough to end things right then and there upon learning the truth.
Vlad's idea of kicking off the new year was to, through a proxy, release a statement on Twitter going into considerable detail about what he alleged Pyro did, essentially labeling Pyro as a groomer-HIS groomer.
To say that chaos ensued was an understatement.
The impact was absolutely devastating. A once-cohesive unit basically fell apart almost instantaneously, with multiple once-trusted and loyal companions resigning en masse and scattering into the wind, sometimes even outright turning on Pyro altogether, blaming him for the catastrophe. I was in the midst of it all and was forced to take the reins in order to avoid complete anarchy (something that Heidi somehow discovered despite this not being announced to anyone outside the server). It was as if a jar of acid had been thrown and aimed at Pyro, but shattered all over the entire community at large, showering everyone in corrosive chemicals and shards of broken glass. I don't blame the others for leaving... NO ONE wants to be associated with a groomer. Friends became enemies on the spot, and there were basically four different factions: people who did not believe Vlad's claims at all and sided with Pyro, people who completely shunned Pyro and disowned him, people who chose not to say anything but left to save their own skin, and people who abstained from casting judgment at all and stayed in the server, waiting for the truth to settle. I belonged to the last group... Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Jay.
Almost the MOMENT he left, Jay immediately denounced Pyro on Twitter and even put together a YouTube video mocking the entire ordeal (which even Vlad thought was in poor taste). He outright shouted that he blames himself for "foolishly believing in [Pyro] and for what he has done, [Jay] would NEVER forgive [Pyro] for this." And I will admit, that was the moment I finally lost control of my emotions. I knew right then and there that it would no longer be possible for Jay and I to remain friends. My last words before I finally unfriended him on discord:
"I think it's time we see other people"
Up to that point I had held onto the hope that I could still remain friends with Jay "if given the chance." The moment I saw what he had to say on Twitter, I was wholly convinced that Jay had blown his last chance at salvaging any form of friendship between him and myself. What I found truly ironic to the point of hypocrisy was that Jay had JUST been called out for similar behavior before this happened (he had compiled a hit list of people who had blocked him and when this was revealed, he was rightfully called out on it for his petty and immature behavior) and to me it seemed as if he had learned nothing from the remonstrations he had received as a result.
I quickly published a statement on Twitter that effectively announced that I was cutting Jay loose, and that this was not due to any resentment I may have held against Jay, but only because I could not see a future with myself remaining his friend. What I did not announce publicly was my precise motivation and this is paraphrased from private conversations with other friends as follows:
The main reason I decided to break things off with Jay is that he was so quick to turn on Pyro even though they had known each other for longer than I had gotten to know either of them. Also, I believed that, despite being called out for being petty about compiling that blocklist beforehand, he showed no remorse for this behavior and failed to convince me that he was taking the steps he claimed to take in order to change and become a better person. I wholly believed that he would only repeat this kind of behavior in the future.
Furthermore, if Jay could turn on someone he claims he has been friends with for years so easily, then I knew that it was only a matter of time before he decided to turn on me as well. After all, I did not immediately side with him and denounce Pyro, because I knew that if I did so I would be lying to everyone just to save face. That alone would give Jay more than enough reason to decide that it was not worth keeping me around as a friend. After all, who wants to remain a friend with a person who would support a groomer? I believed that siding and staying with Jay would only lead to a much uglier heartbreak in the distant future, so I decided right then and there to take myself off the playing field and explain in detail to him why I did so. He deserved at least that kind of closure while it was still possible to do so in a calm and composed manner.
It can be stated that grief and trauma have five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Typically, denial entails an inability to come to terms with the truth, instead clinging to a false, preferable reality. Another important detail is that this is the stage where some might isolate themselves and avoid others who have accepted what is happening. That phase had just ended... the next was about to rear its ugly head.
After I had cut off Jay, my emotions turned from shock to incomprehensible rage. And obviously my one target was Vlad. Tensions were already high between myself and Vlad because of what happened between me and Heidi, and he had to have resented the fact that I was best buddies with Pyro. After this incident, however, I had only one goal in mind: to make sure that Vlad and their entire community got to experience everything that I blamed them for putting us through. I completely blamed them for being the reason why Jay and I could no longer be friends. I blamed them for handling the situation in a way that threw everyone else under the bus when we had no idea about this drama. I blamed them and their cronies for putting a target on my back regarding something that I had nothing to do with just because I did not immediately kiss their boo-boos in front of everyone. I blamed them for taking away from me something truly precious: the ability to rest in the assurance that my friends, no matter how close, could be trusted to be honest with me through thick and thin, and that my friends would not immediately disown me for some trumped up reason when it became convenient for them. In my mind, Vlad threw acid upon all of us and harmed me personally in a way that could never heal. I wanted Vlad to feel the pain I felt a hundredfold and was willing to do anything to make sure that happened, no matter who else I hurt in the process. I literally did not care that I could be potentially ruining SO many lives just so that I could get even. I even did not care if what I did posed a threat to all of FNaF itself, even if I hurt Scott Cawthon in the process.
That's where I ultimately fucked up.
I blasted Vlad on Twitter in a series of hateful Tweets in the native language of my parents using Google Translate (because somehow I thought that they wouldn't try to translate even if they were able to see my vents). I said a wide variety of reprehensible things I should never have said, and shall not repeat here, but what I can say is that I completely let my anger take control and said some of the vilest things I could possibly think of at the time. I thought that since Vlad and I were mutually blocked, they would not see the replies in question and that I was simply yelling into the wind. I was wrong.
I was immediately dogpiled upon for my remarks, particularly from those who were directly involved such as Heidi, Vlad, Heidi's friend (who I refer to as Lucky), and Vlad's SO (who I will refer to as Agate). Most of the replies were basically warning everyone to "please report and block this weirdo" because I was "defending a groomer" and that they "do NOT condone anything they've said towards the victims of [Pyro]", that it was "disgusting that [I] would wish harm upon them and continue to back up [Pyro]." Many TRULY believed that I actually supported Pyro and that I held Pyro "at such a high regard," which was apparently more important to me than "trusting [my] friend's change of judgment." Others thought it was "funny seeing [me] having tantrums cuz hes not friends with [Jay] aymore" and pointing out how pathetic it was that I was at least 30 years old, a "grown ass man", and saying stuff like this. Some of THE most insulting replies outright called me a total idiot for choosing to abandon Jay, saying that "[I] literally didn't have to" and that I "just have to follow him and ... don't have to end [my] friendship with [Jay]", as if I had not already considered where that would lead to.
Looking back at it all, I will only say this: I reacted in a way that was completely inexcusable. I should have known that I would come off in a very, very bad light and that I would be seen as supporting the actions of a groomer and disregarding the validity of their victim's experience. That was never my intention and I am truly sorry I reacted so poorly in the face of these events. Nothing I can do can erase the impression that FNaF Twitter as a whole has of me, and nothing I can do or say can ever earn their forgiveness.
Incidentally, when Pyro discovered what I had done, he was truly mortified that I would go to such unhinged lengths in my anger. He thus did something that I found truly ironic, and formally cut me loose and expelled me from his friend circle, exactly as I had done to Jay. Pyro outright told me that I have "made things more difficult for [him] already with [my] rampaging online, [my] frequent mentions of violence and everything in the server", that he did not have much of a choice anymore, and that he could not let me stay. To my credit, I took this graciously because at least Pyro chose to go the high road and be honest with me about why he chose to do what he did, just as I had done to Jay. And I cannot fault him for that.
Where does this leave me then? What do I do now? And to those questions I say I do not know. What I do know is that I will no longer be using Twitter for any practical applications. I believe that it is not worth fighting for or saving and I am wasting my time and poisoning my mental health just by remaining on there. I have already privated my account, and once I download a copy of all my data, I plan on permanently deactivating altogether.
As for those who have been watching me throughout this whole debacle, I have some statements I wish to make:
To Jay:
I am truly sorry things had to end this way. We both made our fair share of mistakes and I completely understand if you have every reason to abandon me now. I certainly have proved to everyone that I cannot be trusted to provide the support you need during this trying time. I can only hope that time eventually heals the two of us and that maybe, maybe, we can start over anew one day.
To Pyro:
You have my sincerest apologies for my role in all of this. I never wanted to be involved, and I made some truly reprehensible decisions in my anger. I completely understand why you chose to expel me and why you want nothing to do with me anymore. You were right, I have not been making any of this easy on you.
That said, I do not condone at all what happened between you and Vlad. I think you both made some critical mistakes and failed to ask questions or stop things when you had the obligation to. However, I still do not believe that your actions make you a groomer and a risk to minors at the core. I know how hard you have worked to ensure that your server is safe for minors and how strict you have been in regulating accordingly. I just wish that people believed that and gave you the opportunity to change for the better. After all, that's all we can do at this point.
To Vlad:
I cannot pretend to know how deeply you are suffering and how necessary you believed it was to expose Pyro accordingly. I am sorry that I acted so reprehensibly on Twitter and I am sorry that I allowed my hatred to reach such unhinged levels. I never condoned or supported what Pyro did, and I still don't. My friends can attest to where I stand on the topic of exposing minors to adult material and grooming them, and I detest the acts of knowingly engaging with a minor in such a fashion. I can only hope and pray that you find peace and the ability to move on from all of this.
I wish I could preface this with just how refreshing my holiday trip to the tropics was, but it's only been a week and a half back home and after this bout of drama I honestly want to go the fuck back. But as I will elaborate, seems like I cannot escape from drama no matter where I am on this beautiful planet.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Or in this case, the grizzly that is writhing in agony after having been doused in gasoline and set ablaze.
I lost more friends in the first week of 2024 than I've ever lost ever since the pandemic. And all that because of something I never asked to be a part of, but what's happened has happened and I cannot do anything to change it.
It all centers around an ex friend who I will refer to as Pyro (all names have been changed for the sake of the involved), as well as a once loyal sidekick who I'll refer to as Jay.
Jay and I met around the beginning of 2022 when I complemented the style of a particular work of art he did, one that I thought was pretty emotionally powerful. We shared common interests, particularly FNaF, and he liked my extensive level of detail regarding worldbuilding. We became fast friends, and I asked him to introduce me to his friends.
He wasn't initially certain, but he acceded to my request and soon, I joined Pyro's group. Now, Pyro and I had a past falling out long before I met Jay, revolving around my inability to verify my age at the time (this will be very important). Pyro forgave easily though and I soon integrated myself into the community, though there were a few bumps in the road. Lord knows that I've said and done things that made some of the moots uncomfortable, leading them to block me and myself to respond in kind. If you are one of those moots, I just want to express my apologies. Not that it matters in the end, though, as will become all too apparent.
Fast forward to my trip. I was enjoying myself in Bali when I received word that Pyro had to expel one of my lesser acquaintances (let's call him Blue) because Blue had been acting weird to minors. I still remember exactly what I said in response.
"Even on the other side of the world I can't escape [friend group] drama lol"
Evidently not...
Had I only known that it would all come crashing down almost the moment I returned home....
The first sign of trouble came to me on instagram, funnily enough. Jay posted something on his instagram that immediately caught my attention and so I came to his dms immediately asking for an explanation. That is when he threw a total bombshell that shattered everything I knew about him:
"There’s too much evidence that I can’t find myself staying w/ [Pyro] any longer.
Needless to say, I was confused and beyond mortified, so I pressed Jay to explain further. As I understand it, Pyro had gotten involved with grooming allegations raised by his former friends, leading Jay to distance himself. He also said that he had made some mistakes of his own, which he had claimed he was taking steps to take accountability for, and so he had made the decision to eschew all social media save for his friends. I then asked him whether I was still among those friends. His response was the first sign that things had already gone past the breaking point:
"Not really much has happened between us but our relationship feels kinda distant for no reason, tbh."
I should have known then and there that it was over. I wanted to believe otherwise, I wanted to give him a chance, and he did agree to that. I told him that I would make it up to him and I meant that at first.
Not even a day would pass before things truly went south between us.
I made the mistake of looking up this drama on, of all places, Twitter. It was there that I saw just how badly things had deteriorated. Everyone was blaming everyone else and emotions were most high strung.
On a side note, allow me to introduce two figures who were of central importance to the whole debacle. I will refer to them as Heidi and Vlad. Heidi had some... problems. She hated Pyro with a passion, at the very minimum since 2021 (which was also the year the two of us had a falling out). She said all sorts of things about him that seemed unbelievably outlandish, and when Jay introduced me to Pyro in mid fall 2022, I did admit that Pyro and I were at an arms' length because of her opinions about him.
Back then, Pyro and I had a complicated past; you see, in 2020 I had joined a server run by his SO who I will refer to as Frost, but due to a key misunderstanding, I failed to verify that I was not a minor and so they kicked me out and cut ties. Jay was the one to vouch for me and allow me to get back in Pyro's good graces, though I never quite made up with Frost. Not that it mattered, Pyro and I became fast friends just like I had done with Jay.
Almost immediately Pyro showed himself to be forgiving and personable and we shared lots of stories and laughs together. Sometimes I would also vent to him about problems in my life, and he would always be the voice of reason that would cool me down (ironic considering the nature of his FNaFsona). Hell, he'd been like that since we first met. And in the beginning, it was good. Now, I will be the first to admit, I was nowhere near perfect. The fact that this was around the time I was frequently on Twitter may have contributed to my hotheadedness, and that often got on his nerves. He was the kind of person who believed that it was better to wait things out and let the dice fall where they may, rather than act now and potentially get ourselves into trouble in the process for no good reason. In fact, the more I hung out with him, the more sincere he felt. He never got into any discussions of an NSFW nature with me throughout our time together, and all around he seemed like the kind of friend I needed at that time of my life. He had this, as he put it, "desire to help 'fix' people" that in part motivated his attitude towards others.
I became convinced that Heidi's assertions about him were nothing more than vicious libel borne out of a bad emotional falling out. On that note, Pyro ALSO wanted nothing to do with Heidi, even asking me to stop "talking about [Heidi], I don't even want to think of them by accident anymore," and that "They've done enough to my other friends, and enough to me"
Vlad was another former friend of Pyro's, though we never really spoke. What I do know is that by the time I had gotten to know Jay and Pyro, Vlad had long blocked me, presumably on Heidi's advice. Pyro had noticed this and at least at the time we had reconnected, Pyro and Vlad were still on good terms. Between then and now however, they too had a falling out, and what Vlad claimed the reason behind this was truly disturbing. According to Vlad, Pyro groomed him in a sexual manner when Vlad was still a minor. As I understand it, the two of them had indeed engaged in NSFW chats (which Vlad for the most part initiated), though at the time Pyro had remained ignorant of Vlad's actual age, and even then had not been diligent or courageous enough to end things right then and there upon learning the truth.
Vlad's idea of kicking off the new year was to, through a proxy, release a statement on Twitter going into considerable detail about what he alleged Pyro did, essentially labeling Pyro as a groomer-HIS groomer.
To say that chaos ensued was an understatement.
The impact was absolutely devastating. A once-cohesive unit basically fell apart almost instantaneously, with multiple once-trusted and loyal companions resigning en masse and scattering into the wind, sometimes even outright turning on Pyro altogether, blaming him for the catastrophe. I was in the midst of it all and was forced to take the reins in order to avoid complete anarchy (something that Heidi somehow discovered despite this not being announced to anyone outside the server). It was as if a jar of acid had been thrown and aimed at Pyro, but shattered all over the entire community at large, showering everyone in corrosive chemicals and shards of broken glass. I don't blame the others for leaving... NO ONE wants to be associated with a groomer. Friends became enemies on the spot, and there were basically four different factions: people who did not believe Vlad's claims at all and sided with Pyro, people who completely shunned Pyro and disowned him, people who chose not to say anything but left to save their own skin, and people who abstained from casting judgment at all and stayed in the server, waiting for the truth to settle. I belonged to the last group... Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Jay.
Almost the MOMENT he left, Jay immediately denounced Pyro on Twitter and even put together a YouTube video mocking the entire ordeal (which even Vlad thought was in poor taste). He outright shouted that he blames himself for "foolishly believing in [Pyro] and for what he has done, [Jay] would NEVER forgive [Pyro] for this." And I will admit, that was the moment I finally lost control of my emotions. I knew right then and there that it would no longer be possible for Jay and I to remain friends. My last words before I finally unfriended him on discord:
"I think it's time we see other people"
Up to that point I had held onto the hope that I could still remain friends with Jay "if given the chance." The moment I saw what he had to say on Twitter, I was wholly convinced that Jay had blown his last chance at salvaging any form of friendship between him and myself. What I found truly ironic to the point of hypocrisy was that Jay had JUST been called out for similar behavior before this happened (he had compiled a hit list of people who had blocked him and when this was revealed, he was rightfully called out on it for his petty and immature behavior) and to me it seemed as if he had learned nothing from the remonstrations he had received as a result.
I quickly published a statement on Twitter that effectively announced that I was cutting Jay loose, and that this was not due to any resentment I may have held against Jay, but only because I could not see a future with myself remaining his friend. What I did not announce publicly was my precise motivation and this is paraphrased from private conversations with other friends as follows:
The main reason I decided to break things off with Jay is that he was so quick to turn on Pyro even though they had known each other for longer than I had gotten to know either of them. Also, I believed that, despite being called out for being petty about compiling that blocklist beforehand, he showed no remorse for this behavior and failed to convince me that he was taking the steps he claimed to take in order to change and become a better person. I wholly believed that he would only repeat this kind of behavior in the future.
Furthermore, if Jay could turn on someone he claims he has been friends with for years so easily, then I knew that it was only a matter of time before he decided to turn on me as well. After all, I did not immediately side with him and denounce Pyro, because I knew that if I did so I would be lying to everyone just to save face. That alone would give Jay more than enough reason to decide that it was not worth keeping me around as a friend. After all, who wants to remain a friend with a person who would support a groomer? I believed that siding and staying with Jay would only lead to a much uglier heartbreak in the distant future, so I decided right then and there to take myself off the playing field and explain in detail to him why I did so. He deserved at least that kind of closure while it was still possible to do so in a calm and composed manner.
It can be stated that grief and trauma have five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Typically, denial entails an inability to come to terms with the truth, instead clinging to a false, preferable reality. Another important detail is that this is the stage where some might isolate themselves and avoid others who have accepted what is happening. That phase had just ended... the next was about to rear its ugly head.
After I had cut off Jay, my emotions turned from shock to incomprehensible rage. And obviously my one target was Vlad. Tensions were already high between myself and Vlad because of what happened between me and Heidi, and he had to have resented the fact that I was best buddies with Pyro. After this incident, however, I had only one goal in mind: to make sure that Vlad and their entire community got to experience everything that I blamed them for putting us through. I completely blamed them for being the reason why Jay and I could no longer be friends. I blamed them for handling the situation in a way that threw everyone else under the bus when we had no idea about this drama. I blamed them and their cronies for putting a target on my back regarding something that I had nothing to do with just because I did not immediately kiss their boo-boos in front of everyone. I blamed them for taking away from me something truly precious: the ability to rest in the assurance that my friends, no matter how close, could be trusted to be honest with me through thick and thin, and that my friends would not immediately disown me for some trumped up reason when it became convenient for them. In my mind, Vlad threw acid upon all of us and harmed me personally in a way that could never heal. I wanted Vlad to feel the pain I felt a hundredfold and was willing to do anything to make sure that happened, no matter who else I hurt in the process. I literally did not care that I could be potentially ruining SO many lives just so that I could get even. I even did not care if what I did posed a threat to all of FNaF itself, even if I hurt Scott Cawthon in the process.
That's where I ultimately fucked up.
I blasted Vlad on Twitter in a series of hateful Tweets in the native language of my parents using Google Translate (because somehow I thought that they wouldn't try to translate even if they were able to see my vents). I said a wide variety of reprehensible things I should never have said, and shall not repeat here, but what I can say is that I completely let my anger take control and said some of the vilest things I could possibly think of at the time. I thought that since Vlad and I were mutually blocked, they would not see the replies in question and that I was simply yelling into the wind. I was wrong.
I was immediately dogpiled upon for my remarks, particularly from those who were directly involved such as Heidi, Vlad, Heidi's friend (who I refer to as Lucky), and Vlad's SO (who I will refer to as Agate). Most of the replies were basically warning everyone to "please report and block this weirdo" because I was "defending a groomer" and that they "do NOT condone anything they've said towards the victims of [Pyro]", that it was "disgusting that [I] would wish harm upon them and continue to back up [Pyro]." Many TRULY believed that I actually supported Pyro and that I held Pyro "at such a high regard," which was apparently more important to me than "trusting [my] friend's change of judgment." Others thought it was "funny seeing [me] having tantrums cuz hes not friends with [Jay] aymore" and pointing out how pathetic it was that I was at least 30 years old, a "grown ass man", and saying stuff like this. Some of THE most insulting replies outright called me a total idiot for choosing to abandon Jay, saying that "[I] literally didn't have to" and that I "just have to follow him and ... don't have to end [my] friendship with [Jay]", as if I had not already considered where that would lead to.
Looking back at it all, I will only say this: I reacted in a way that was completely inexcusable. I should have known that I would come off in a very, very bad light and that I would be seen as supporting the actions of a groomer and disregarding the validity of their victim's experience. That was never my intention and I am truly sorry I reacted so poorly in the face of these events. Nothing I can do can erase the impression that FNaF Twitter as a whole has of me, and nothing I can do or say can ever earn their forgiveness.
Incidentally, when Pyro discovered what I had done, he was truly mortified that I would go to such unhinged lengths in my anger. He thus did something that I found truly ironic, and formally cut me loose and expelled me from his friend circle, exactly as I had done to Jay. Pyro outright told me that I have "made things more difficult for [him] already with [my] rampaging online, [my] frequent mentions of violence and everything in the server", that he did not have much of a choice anymore, and that he could not let me stay. To my credit, I took this graciously because at least Pyro chose to go the high road and be honest with me about why he chose to do what he did, just as I had done to Jay. And I cannot fault him for that.
Where does this leave me then? What do I do now? And to those questions I say I do not know. What I do know is that I will no longer be using Twitter for any practical applications. I believe that it is not worth fighting for or saving and I am wasting my time and poisoning my mental health just by remaining on there. I have already privated my account, and once I download a copy of all my data, I plan on permanently deactivating altogether.
As for those who have been watching me throughout this whole debacle, I have some statements I wish to make:
To Jay:
I am truly sorry things had to end this way. We both made our fair share of mistakes and I completely understand if you have every reason to abandon me now. I certainly have proved to everyone that I cannot be trusted to provide the support you need during this trying time. I can only hope that time eventually heals the two of us and that maybe, maybe, we can start over anew one day.
To Pyro:
You have my sincerest apologies for my role in all of this. I never wanted to be involved, and I made some truly reprehensible decisions in my anger. I completely understand why you chose to expel me and why you want nothing to do with me anymore. You were right, I have not been making any of this easy on you.
That said, I do not condone at all what happened between you and Vlad. I think you both made some critical mistakes and failed to ask questions or stop things when you had the obligation to. However, I still do not believe that your actions make you a groomer and a risk to minors at the core. I know how hard you have worked to ensure that your server is safe for minors and how strict you have been in regulating accordingly. I just wish that people believed that and gave you the opportunity to change for the better. After all, that's all we can do at this point.
To Vlad:
I cannot pretend to know how deeply you are suffering and how necessary you believed it was to expose Pyro accordingly. I am sorry that I acted so reprehensibly on Twitter and I am sorry that I allowed my hatred to reach such unhinged levels. I never condoned or supported what Pyro did, and I still don't. My friends can attest to where I stand on the topic of exposing minors to adult material and grooming them, and I detest the acts of knowingly engaging with a minor in such a fashion. I can only hope and pray that you find peace and the ability to move on from all of this.
I'm 30 now!
Posted 4 years agoI guess I wanted to make some kind of grand speech or something but honestly I got nothing. So today is my birthday I guess 7u7
A Statement on Recent Events
Posted 4 years agoI write this on behalf of my teammates with a heavy heart. Our team has gone through its high and low points with regards to drama and the ensuing turnover of its members. As it may, the fealty of those who have been along my side throughout these past years cannot be overstated and I cannot begin to express my gratitude for my friends. The past few days have been characterized by drama that none of us have been able to foresee, drama that shakes the very foundations of why we do what we do, drama that cuts far more deeply than the COVID-19 pandemic ever did. I wish that the circumstances leading to this never had to happen, that I wouldn’t need to make this statement, but I do so knowing that the fandom deserves at least this much: the truth regarding how and why this happened, the truth regarding where we stand on this issue, and the truth regarding how we will continue our mission from this point onwards.
The events of June 10 represent a point of no return for the FNAF fandom, perhaps one of its darkest times to date. We are absolutely heartbroken at the nature of how the FNAF fandom reacted to the initial developments. Once the initial spark had been set off to smear Scott Cawthon's reputation, the reaction from fans, though stemming from legitimate grievances, irrevocably crossed a line in the sand. The more sensible members of the fandom are also disappointed at the amount of disinformation that has been going around regarding this issue, and we wish to clarify things insofar as is possible.
On June 10, a Twitter user and webcomic artist going by the name of "Bea" typed up the name "Scott Cawthon" on the website OpenSecrets.com, which aggregates information regarding who the searched up names have donated to and by how much. They found amusement in the findings and posted these results on Twitter, purportedly for the enjoyment of their friends.
Before we continue this discussion, there are a few things that bear mentioning:
1. While we do not condone what Bea did, it must be pointed out that technically she did not commit any "doxxing". As previously stated, the information was publicly available on OpenSecrets.com, and can be independently verified. We DO on the other hand find the intent behind this disclosure irresponsible at best, and absolutely reprehensible at worst. We do believe that Bea needs to publicly give account of herself and her actions.
2. The information revealed from this lookup should not have been as surprising to the fandom as it apparently was. It has been widely known for years that Scott is of a demographic that tends to sway conservative. He is a white Texan who began his career making Christian-oriented entertainment. It should not have been this much of a surprise that his political views would end up this way.
3. Another thing Scott is known for is his generosity. He has never been one to shy away from donating massive amounts to good causes, including LGBT advocacy groups, St. Jude's Hospital, The World Wildlife Fund, and several prominent charity streams run by online influencers, to the modest sum of at least $1.2 million.
What immediately stands out is the nature of the recipients of his donations. These include but are not limited to Ben Carson, Devin Nunes, Mitch McConnell, Cory Gardner, Kevin McCarthy, Elise Stefanik, and Donald Trump himself. All of these are aligned with the Republican Party, or GOP. To say that this is controversial is a serious understatement. Within the past decade, the GOP has been associated with some truly vile ideologies and actions, including the introduction of legislation to curb the rights of minorities and the LGBT community, stymying mail-in ballots and presenting additional hurdles to potential voters, and--most egregiously--the promotion of the "Big Lie," which is the claim that the 2020 election resulted in massive election fraud and that Donald Trump was the actual winner of this election. The gravity and full extent of the manifold injustices attributed to the GOP goes far beyond the scope of this statement: therefore, we shall only focus on (1) the aspects that have much of the FNAF fandom up in arms, and (2) Scott's own justifications as presented by a reddit post made on June 12, 2021, two days after the initial drama unfolded.
Our country was founded on a precept--one among many--that there should be "no law ... abridging the freedom of speech..." and all involved certainly have the right to express their viewpoints unhindered. Scott has the right to vote for and support whatever candidate he wants, and frankly it is simply not our business to stick our noses into all of this. However, the reasons for the recent events unfolding as they have come from many different angles. The most blatant of these lies in his direct donations to the political coffers of so many controversial figures in the GOP. It is our belief that doing so is considered enabling for these politicians, many of whom have directly supported legislation targeting to curtail the rights of the already-marginalized LGBT community, of which a substantial proportion of the FNAF fandom, and more importantly our own team, consider themselves a part of.
For instance, Devin Nunes has voted against prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation and supports constitutional amendments prohibiting same-sex marriage. Ben Carson has stated that marriage equality is inconsistent with his religious beliefs, and believes that Congress should fire judges who rule in favor of it, even going so far as to compare same-sex marriage to bestiality and NAMBLA, as well as insinuating that same-sex marriage would lead to an "open season" on Christians. Cory Gardner affirmed that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, and has voted against legislation to allow Colorado gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. This does not even begin to touch on the general stance that the GOP and the Religious Right possess regarding homosexuality, one that would have them gladly tighten the thumbscrews on LGBT rights.
I posit that the unprecedented vitriol that the FNAF fandom has produced in response to the revelations stem from an overwhelming sense of betrayal from the community (particularly its LGBT fans), which is not helped by Scott's prior declarations of support for LGBT rights, which include donations to this end. Indeed, it can be argued that the donations he has made towards the charities far outstrip those made towards these politicians. However, the overarching consensus that the community has taken is that, seeing as the GOP is “a literal existential threat to many marginalized folks' access to healthcare, reasonable job security, or equal rights," the donations he has made do ultimately contribute to the election of politicians that want to continue to stray away the rights of already-marginalized communities. In short, the optics do not look good for Scott. As was opined by Zalrek aka ThatTechCoyote, "Even if he doesn't intend to hurt marginalized people, his donations mean that he sees them as an acceptable casualty."
Now let us take a look at how Scott himself reacted to the news. It is understandable that he would have taken this long to address this issue directly, and that he had to word his response with utmost caution, considering the direct threats he has received since the initial disclosure. From what he has stated publicly about the issue, certain significant points stand out that provide further insight into his rationale for his support. Note that we will not be addressing his pro-life stance, seeing that it deals with a different demographic than most of us in the fandom. However, I will state that I am firmly pro-choice, as I believe that abortion is to be conducted on a case-by-case basis that strictly and comprehensively evaluates the options that maximize the welfare of and minimize the suffering of mother and child.
It is important to give Scott credit where it is due for his personal integrity and sound reasoning for his actions. Evidently, Scott's stance rests upon the key premise of doing good to these marginalized communities. For instance, his support of Kimberly Klacik stems from his opinion that she would do the black community some good and lift them out of poverty. Some of his takes could be considered more loaded. For instance, he states that:
"Even if there were candidates who had better things to say to the LGBT community directly, and bigger promises to make, I believed that their stances on other issues would have ended up doing much greater harm to those communities than good."
Furthermore, his support for Donald Trump primarily stemmed from the idea that Trump would fuel a strong economy and "stand up to America's enemies abroad, of which there are many." I do not think that Scott's donations necessarily contradict his prior stances on seeking to reach out to and help out the LGBT and other marginalized communities; in fact, I believe that it would be disingenuous to claim otherwise.
We as a team shall agree to disagree regarding Scott's justifications on his donations and contrast with our own stance on the topic. First of all, we do not believe that the candidates he voted for and supported could best run the country for everyone; key aspects of this that specifically pertain to Scott's own statement are further explained below. I personally take the stance that this particular party has done more damage over the past 20 years than their opposition ever could. As it may, it is indeed his right to exercise his civic duty as an American citizen to have his say in the makeup of our government.
Second, we will give Scott credit for the fact that he was willing to go against his own personal opinions in order to vote for what he felt could have been a good and fair president, as was exemplified in the example of Tulsi Gabbard. Nevertheless, we too consider her as less than ideal as a candidate, especially considering her recent shifts regarding her position on the transgender community (as exemplified in her sponsorship of the Protect Women in Sports Act of 2020 to the U.S. House of Representatives, which would amend Title IX protections to prohibit transgender females from participating in women's athletics).
Third and finally, we do not agree with Scott that Donald Trump would have done well to fuel a strong economy or stand up to America's enemies. We do agree that a strong economy is important, and that, yes, America has its enemies in the various autocrats that oppress their own citizens. We also acknowledge that there are aspects of Trump's policies that have boosted our economy, in ways that are not solely explained by the widespread claim that he essentially inherited Obama's economic success.
However, the progress he did make regarding economic issues falls flat once his mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic has been accounted for. There is no debate that considerable swathes of our economy have become mere shadows of their glory days due to this pandemic, and the over 600,000 Amercians dead from the virus (among almost 34 million total cases in this country alone) are an indictment of Trump's sheer mishandling of the pandemic response. In fact, the relative silence of FNAF fans that have been directly affected by the virus, whether they have become debilitated by or lost loved ones and friends to the disease, is quite surprising. Arguably, they would have far more concrete reasons to express outrage at Scott's financial contributions. Granted, there would have been no way for voters to have foreseen the pandemic becoming this bad and this deadly, because they would have no idea that something like that was on the horizon. This however is no excuse for conservative voters to continue to support a party that had so severely mishandled the pandemic, to the detriment of everyone involved.
Trump's foreign policy regarding those who would antagonize America would hardly be considered "stand[ing] up to America's enemies abroad, of which there are many." We will not even begin to detail the tensions between Trump's America and Putin's Russia, which I would leave to political experts who have closely studied Russian interference in the 2016 US elections, recent ransomware cyberattacks on US infrastructure, and Trump's suspiciously light-handed response to the Russian government's aggression. Nor will we elaborate on his trade war with China and his unilateral withdrawal from the Iran nuclear deal, and subsequent assassination of Qasem Soleimani, which set off events that led to the death of prominent FNAF animator Maxie. Suffice it to say that Trump's idea of "standing up" to America's enemies has oscillated between two extremes that we as a country should be ashamed of. For those to whom the Trump administration attempted to curry favor with, this administration turned a blind eye to their transgressions. For those who Trump would consider an obstacle, he took provocative and aggressive actions that amount to kicking an already-enraged hornet's nest.
Having stated our stance on Scott's own political positions, we in no way consider him complicit in the GOP's failing of and blatant disregard for the marginalized communities; Scott is only human, and human beings make mistakes, though they try to do as good as they can. In retrospect, this fiasco was inevitable to some degree. He chose what he thought was the best for our country, not knowing the wrongs that he was technically complicit to; this shortsightedness is nothing new, as was made evident during the NFT controversy within the last few months. Our two-party political system is fundamentally flawed and in practice, making your voice heard amounts to having to choose between the lesser of two evils. Those of us FNAF fans who voted during the last election and the one before that know this all too well.
Furthermore, it would appear that in the grand scale of things, the negative impact stemming from Scott's donations may not be as dire as has been frequently perceived. It is my belief that the GOP has sown the seeds of its own collapse for a very long time, and frankly, donations like Scott's only serve to delay the inevitable. For the past 20 years, their political stance has increasingly alienated and obstructed progress towards rebuilding our nation in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, in ways that have steadily eroded more and more of what it means to be an American. Be that as it may, the sinking ship that is the GOP has no intention of going under without a fight; just as a wild animal, when backed into a corner, will attack with as much viciousness as it can muster, so too will the Republican party attack the very foundations of our democracy and incur as much obstruction as it can for any successor party.
This bloated red giant's final moments will be characterized in a spectacular core collapse supernova; the ensuing blast will incur damage to the fabric of our nation that will take years, if not decades, to even begin to recover from. And it can only be hoped that from the ashes rises a new party that espouses fiscally conservative and faith-based values as an alternative plan of action to truly restore America, without having to resort to courting homophobia, fake patriotism, jingoism and interventionism, white supremacy, anti-feminism, and other regressive policies. Personally, I am confident that should such a party emerge, Scott would abandon the party he supports now and switch to it in a heartbeat. His determination is to advance a cause he believes is right and moral. As the Republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower once stated:
"If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power."
I now turn to the stance we take on the situation; specifically, I shall address where this team stands regarding progressive and LGBTQ+ issues, and our condemnation of the violence of the past week. It is my belief that our team's stance on these issues is self-evident, seeing that we have men, women, children, parents, white people, black people, Asian people, and people who identify as gay, lesbian, trans, or aro. There are American, British, German, Polish, Vietnamese, Russian, Argentinian, Latino & Latina, Filipino, Australian, Spanish, and Greek authors among others. In sum, diversity among our team is not only tolerated, it is heavily encouraged.
The entire point of putting together this team of authors, artists, and admins to compose this long-running anthology was to create and explore a world that delved deeper into the unanswered questions of the franchise's central lore, with the express purpose of doing so from the lenses of dozens of varied perspectives. Our criteria for inclusion judge only the competency and content of character of prospective authors; their ethnicities, their sexuality, their viewpoints play absolutely no role in judging whether they would be a good fit. As a matter of fact, such diversity is welcomed with open arms, with the assurance that no one's observations and sentiments as expressed through their point-of-view characters is any more or less legitimate than any others.
Having said this, there is no excuse for the reprehensible outbursts of anger that led to Scott and his entire family fearing for their physical safety. With the doxxing and death threats towards Scott simply for his political standpoint, the events of last week can be considered the worst attack on the FNAF fandom, one comparable to the January 6 Capitol riots. I do not make this comparison lightly; in your perception of betrayal, those of you who rallied for violence became no less seditious than that of those who stormed the Capitol. I fully believe that given the opportunity, these fans would have done the very same thing to storm his neighborhood. Make no mistake, this was an insurrection, and we hope and pray that the perpetrators face justice for their actions.
Arguably, one might say that it isn't Bea's fault that this happened, that if not her then someone else would have done this. In another timeline, it could even have been one of our team who looked at these records out of curiosity and began to spread rumors in scared whispers. However, considering the way events transpired, we wholeheartedly condemn her sheer disregard of propriety and encourage her to seek the mental help she needs. She not only did this only for the sake of herself "and my friends to laugh at lol", but she has no qualms in starting a firestorm that even got the attention of mainstream media like Kotaku, PCGamer, and Newsweek. Just as Herostratus burned down the Temple of Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, so too did Bea burn down the FNAF community for the sake of fame.
In conclusion, though we as a team do not support the same viewpoints and positions that Scott may espouse, we stand by him as fellow enjoyers of the franchise he built from scratch, irregardless of any differences between us. The violence of last week's events is inexcusable and we condemn any threats against him or his family. To encourage this is to be no better than the very people in the MAGA population you claim to be disgusted by. As for where we will go from this point, our future as a team is nowhere near as certain as we once envisioned it back in 2018. So many of us have become disillusioned with the franchise and it will take a long time for us to lick our wounds and come to terms with all of this. However, we made a promise that we will finish what we started, and to renege on that promise would be unthinkable in this community. If you have made it this far in reading this, just know that we stand by Scott, and that we respect whatever decisions he might take in the future of this franchise.
There was once a time that we brought fantasy and fun to life in our own way on reddit. I can only hope that the fandom that once sparked our collective joy, energy, and creativity will one day do so again. And I can only hope that as it did for us, so can we give back, in our own small ways.
The events of June 10 represent a point of no return for the FNAF fandom, perhaps one of its darkest times to date. We are absolutely heartbroken at the nature of how the FNAF fandom reacted to the initial developments. Once the initial spark had been set off to smear Scott Cawthon's reputation, the reaction from fans, though stemming from legitimate grievances, irrevocably crossed a line in the sand. The more sensible members of the fandom are also disappointed at the amount of disinformation that has been going around regarding this issue, and we wish to clarify things insofar as is possible.
On June 10, a Twitter user and webcomic artist going by the name of "Bea" typed up the name "Scott Cawthon" on the website OpenSecrets.com, which aggregates information regarding who the searched up names have donated to and by how much. They found amusement in the findings and posted these results on Twitter, purportedly for the enjoyment of their friends.
Before we continue this discussion, there are a few things that bear mentioning:
1. While we do not condone what Bea did, it must be pointed out that technically she did not commit any "doxxing". As previously stated, the information was publicly available on OpenSecrets.com, and can be independently verified. We DO on the other hand find the intent behind this disclosure irresponsible at best, and absolutely reprehensible at worst. We do believe that Bea needs to publicly give account of herself and her actions.
2. The information revealed from this lookup should not have been as surprising to the fandom as it apparently was. It has been widely known for years that Scott is of a demographic that tends to sway conservative. He is a white Texan who began his career making Christian-oriented entertainment. It should not have been this much of a surprise that his political views would end up this way.
3. Another thing Scott is known for is his generosity. He has never been one to shy away from donating massive amounts to good causes, including LGBT advocacy groups, St. Jude's Hospital, The World Wildlife Fund, and several prominent charity streams run by online influencers, to the modest sum of at least $1.2 million.
What immediately stands out is the nature of the recipients of his donations. These include but are not limited to Ben Carson, Devin Nunes, Mitch McConnell, Cory Gardner, Kevin McCarthy, Elise Stefanik, and Donald Trump himself. All of these are aligned with the Republican Party, or GOP. To say that this is controversial is a serious understatement. Within the past decade, the GOP has been associated with some truly vile ideologies and actions, including the introduction of legislation to curb the rights of minorities and the LGBT community, stymying mail-in ballots and presenting additional hurdles to potential voters, and--most egregiously--the promotion of the "Big Lie," which is the claim that the 2020 election resulted in massive election fraud and that Donald Trump was the actual winner of this election. The gravity and full extent of the manifold injustices attributed to the GOP goes far beyond the scope of this statement: therefore, we shall only focus on (1) the aspects that have much of the FNAF fandom up in arms, and (2) Scott's own justifications as presented by a reddit post made on June 12, 2021, two days after the initial drama unfolded.
Our country was founded on a precept--one among many--that there should be "no law ... abridging the freedom of speech..." and all involved certainly have the right to express their viewpoints unhindered. Scott has the right to vote for and support whatever candidate he wants, and frankly it is simply not our business to stick our noses into all of this. However, the reasons for the recent events unfolding as they have come from many different angles. The most blatant of these lies in his direct donations to the political coffers of so many controversial figures in the GOP. It is our belief that doing so is considered enabling for these politicians, many of whom have directly supported legislation targeting to curtail the rights of the already-marginalized LGBT community, of which a substantial proportion of the FNAF fandom, and more importantly our own team, consider themselves a part of.
For instance, Devin Nunes has voted against prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation and supports constitutional amendments prohibiting same-sex marriage. Ben Carson has stated that marriage equality is inconsistent with his religious beliefs, and believes that Congress should fire judges who rule in favor of it, even going so far as to compare same-sex marriage to bestiality and NAMBLA, as well as insinuating that same-sex marriage would lead to an "open season" on Christians. Cory Gardner affirmed that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, and has voted against legislation to allow Colorado gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. This does not even begin to touch on the general stance that the GOP and the Religious Right possess regarding homosexuality, one that would have them gladly tighten the thumbscrews on LGBT rights.
I posit that the unprecedented vitriol that the FNAF fandom has produced in response to the revelations stem from an overwhelming sense of betrayal from the community (particularly its LGBT fans), which is not helped by Scott's prior declarations of support for LGBT rights, which include donations to this end. Indeed, it can be argued that the donations he has made towards the charities far outstrip those made towards these politicians. However, the overarching consensus that the community has taken is that, seeing as the GOP is “a literal existential threat to many marginalized folks' access to healthcare, reasonable job security, or equal rights," the donations he has made do ultimately contribute to the election of politicians that want to continue to stray away the rights of already-marginalized communities. In short, the optics do not look good for Scott. As was opined by Zalrek aka ThatTechCoyote, "Even if he doesn't intend to hurt marginalized people, his donations mean that he sees them as an acceptable casualty."
Now let us take a look at how Scott himself reacted to the news. It is understandable that he would have taken this long to address this issue directly, and that he had to word his response with utmost caution, considering the direct threats he has received since the initial disclosure. From what he has stated publicly about the issue, certain significant points stand out that provide further insight into his rationale for his support. Note that we will not be addressing his pro-life stance, seeing that it deals with a different demographic than most of us in the fandom. However, I will state that I am firmly pro-choice, as I believe that abortion is to be conducted on a case-by-case basis that strictly and comprehensively evaluates the options that maximize the welfare of and minimize the suffering of mother and child.
It is important to give Scott credit where it is due for his personal integrity and sound reasoning for his actions. Evidently, Scott's stance rests upon the key premise of doing good to these marginalized communities. For instance, his support of Kimberly Klacik stems from his opinion that she would do the black community some good and lift them out of poverty. Some of his takes could be considered more loaded. For instance, he states that:
"Even if there were candidates who had better things to say to the LGBT community directly, and bigger promises to make, I believed that their stances on other issues would have ended up doing much greater harm to those communities than good."
Furthermore, his support for Donald Trump primarily stemmed from the idea that Trump would fuel a strong economy and "stand up to America's enemies abroad, of which there are many." I do not think that Scott's donations necessarily contradict his prior stances on seeking to reach out to and help out the LGBT and other marginalized communities; in fact, I believe that it would be disingenuous to claim otherwise.
We as a team shall agree to disagree regarding Scott's justifications on his donations and contrast with our own stance on the topic. First of all, we do not believe that the candidates he voted for and supported could best run the country for everyone; key aspects of this that specifically pertain to Scott's own statement are further explained below. I personally take the stance that this particular party has done more damage over the past 20 years than their opposition ever could. As it may, it is indeed his right to exercise his civic duty as an American citizen to have his say in the makeup of our government.
Second, we will give Scott credit for the fact that he was willing to go against his own personal opinions in order to vote for what he felt could have been a good and fair president, as was exemplified in the example of Tulsi Gabbard. Nevertheless, we too consider her as less than ideal as a candidate, especially considering her recent shifts regarding her position on the transgender community (as exemplified in her sponsorship of the Protect Women in Sports Act of 2020 to the U.S. House of Representatives, which would amend Title IX protections to prohibit transgender females from participating in women's athletics).
Third and finally, we do not agree with Scott that Donald Trump would have done well to fuel a strong economy or stand up to America's enemies. We do agree that a strong economy is important, and that, yes, America has its enemies in the various autocrats that oppress their own citizens. We also acknowledge that there are aspects of Trump's policies that have boosted our economy, in ways that are not solely explained by the widespread claim that he essentially inherited Obama's economic success.
However, the progress he did make regarding economic issues falls flat once his mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic has been accounted for. There is no debate that considerable swathes of our economy have become mere shadows of their glory days due to this pandemic, and the over 600,000 Amercians dead from the virus (among almost 34 million total cases in this country alone) are an indictment of Trump's sheer mishandling of the pandemic response. In fact, the relative silence of FNAF fans that have been directly affected by the virus, whether they have become debilitated by or lost loved ones and friends to the disease, is quite surprising. Arguably, they would have far more concrete reasons to express outrage at Scott's financial contributions. Granted, there would have been no way for voters to have foreseen the pandemic becoming this bad and this deadly, because they would have no idea that something like that was on the horizon. This however is no excuse for conservative voters to continue to support a party that had so severely mishandled the pandemic, to the detriment of everyone involved.
Trump's foreign policy regarding those who would antagonize America would hardly be considered "stand[ing] up to America's enemies abroad, of which there are many." We will not even begin to detail the tensions between Trump's America and Putin's Russia, which I would leave to political experts who have closely studied Russian interference in the 2016 US elections, recent ransomware cyberattacks on US infrastructure, and Trump's suspiciously light-handed response to the Russian government's aggression. Nor will we elaborate on his trade war with China and his unilateral withdrawal from the Iran nuclear deal, and subsequent assassination of Qasem Soleimani, which set off events that led to the death of prominent FNAF animator Maxie. Suffice it to say that Trump's idea of "standing up" to America's enemies has oscillated between two extremes that we as a country should be ashamed of. For those to whom the Trump administration attempted to curry favor with, this administration turned a blind eye to their transgressions. For those who Trump would consider an obstacle, he took provocative and aggressive actions that amount to kicking an already-enraged hornet's nest.
Having stated our stance on Scott's own political positions, we in no way consider him complicit in the GOP's failing of and blatant disregard for the marginalized communities; Scott is only human, and human beings make mistakes, though they try to do as good as they can. In retrospect, this fiasco was inevitable to some degree. He chose what he thought was the best for our country, not knowing the wrongs that he was technically complicit to; this shortsightedness is nothing new, as was made evident during the NFT controversy within the last few months. Our two-party political system is fundamentally flawed and in practice, making your voice heard amounts to having to choose between the lesser of two evils. Those of us FNAF fans who voted during the last election and the one before that know this all too well.
Furthermore, it would appear that in the grand scale of things, the negative impact stemming from Scott's donations may not be as dire as has been frequently perceived. It is my belief that the GOP has sown the seeds of its own collapse for a very long time, and frankly, donations like Scott's only serve to delay the inevitable. For the past 20 years, their political stance has increasingly alienated and obstructed progress towards rebuilding our nation in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, in ways that have steadily eroded more and more of what it means to be an American. Be that as it may, the sinking ship that is the GOP has no intention of going under without a fight; just as a wild animal, when backed into a corner, will attack with as much viciousness as it can muster, so too will the Republican party attack the very foundations of our democracy and incur as much obstruction as it can for any successor party.
This bloated red giant's final moments will be characterized in a spectacular core collapse supernova; the ensuing blast will incur damage to the fabric of our nation that will take years, if not decades, to even begin to recover from. And it can only be hoped that from the ashes rises a new party that espouses fiscally conservative and faith-based values as an alternative plan of action to truly restore America, without having to resort to courting homophobia, fake patriotism, jingoism and interventionism, white supremacy, anti-feminism, and other regressive policies. Personally, I am confident that should such a party emerge, Scott would abandon the party he supports now and switch to it in a heartbeat. His determination is to advance a cause he believes is right and moral. As the Republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower once stated:
"If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power."
I now turn to the stance we take on the situation; specifically, I shall address where this team stands regarding progressive and LGBTQ+ issues, and our condemnation of the violence of the past week. It is my belief that our team's stance on these issues is self-evident, seeing that we have men, women, children, parents, white people, black people, Asian people, and people who identify as gay, lesbian, trans, or aro. There are American, British, German, Polish, Vietnamese, Russian, Argentinian, Latino & Latina, Filipino, Australian, Spanish, and Greek authors among others. In sum, diversity among our team is not only tolerated, it is heavily encouraged.
The entire point of putting together this team of authors, artists, and admins to compose this long-running anthology was to create and explore a world that delved deeper into the unanswered questions of the franchise's central lore, with the express purpose of doing so from the lenses of dozens of varied perspectives. Our criteria for inclusion judge only the competency and content of character of prospective authors; their ethnicities, their sexuality, their viewpoints play absolutely no role in judging whether they would be a good fit. As a matter of fact, such diversity is welcomed with open arms, with the assurance that no one's observations and sentiments as expressed through their point-of-view characters is any more or less legitimate than any others.
Having said this, there is no excuse for the reprehensible outbursts of anger that led to Scott and his entire family fearing for their physical safety. With the doxxing and death threats towards Scott simply for his political standpoint, the events of last week can be considered the worst attack on the FNAF fandom, one comparable to the January 6 Capitol riots. I do not make this comparison lightly; in your perception of betrayal, those of you who rallied for violence became no less seditious than that of those who stormed the Capitol. I fully believe that given the opportunity, these fans would have done the very same thing to storm his neighborhood. Make no mistake, this was an insurrection, and we hope and pray that the perpetrators face justice for their actions.
Arguably, one might say that it isn't Bea's fault that this happened, that if not her then someone else would have done this. In another timeline, it could even have been one of our team who looked at these records out of curiosity and began to spread rumors in scared whispers. However, considering the way events transpired, we wholeheartedly condemn her sheer disregard of propriety and encourage her to seek the mental help she needs. She not only did this only for the sake of herself "and my friends to laugh at lol", but she has no qualms in starting a firestorm that even got the attention of mainstream media like Kotaku, PCGamer, and Newsweek. Just as Herostratus burned down the Temple of Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, so too did Bea burn down the FNAF community for the sake of fame.
In conclusion, though we as a team do not support the same viewpoints and positions that Scott may espouse, we stand by him as fellow enjoyers of the franchise he built from scratch, irregardless of any differences between us. The violence of last week's events is inexcusable and we condemn any threats against him or his family. To encourage this is to be no better than the very people in the MAGA population you claim to be disgusted by. As for where we will go from this point, our future as a team is nowhere near as certain as we once envisioned it back in 2018. So many of us have become disillusioned with the franchise and it will take a long time for us to lick our wounds and come to terms with all of this. However, we made a promise that we will finish what we started, and to renege on that promise would be unthinkable in this community. If you have made it this far in reading this, just know that we stand by Scott, and that we respect whatever decisions he might take in the future of this franchise.
There was once a time that we brought fantasy and fun to life in our own way on reddit. I can only hope that the fandom that once sparked our collective joy, energy, and creativity will one day do so again. And I can only hope that as it did for us, so can we give back, in our own small ways.
A confession
Posted 4 years agoI have been hearing rumors about me, rumors that insinuate that I am guilty of the crime of
gasp
SIMPING
So I wanted to address these rumors and clear things up. The rumors are true. There is a certain character among you furries that I simp for and I feel terrible that this fandom did them dirty. I wanted to change that.
Stay tuned. This might be THE most expensive commission I've taken to date.
gasp
SIMPING
So I wanted to address these rumors and clear things up. The rumors are true. There is a certain character among you furries that I simp for and I feel terrible that this fandom did them dirty. I wanted to change that.
Stay tuned. This might be THE most expensive commission I've taken to date.
An open letter to Phantomfullforce: Wishing you a Happy 2...
Posted 5 years agoTo Phantom: 
phantomfullforce
I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say you're welcome. I wish life dealt you a better hand and I wouldn't envy your situation. Well, I mean, there ARE things I DO envy such as your amazing characters and fursuit, but that's beside the point. I feel sorry for your family considering that they are not capable of dealing with the reality of the situation, but just understand that it is not hopeless. Anything you want to talk about, I'm all ears. That's what friends do.
"Don't wait to do something good."? Don't worry. I won't.
Hoping that you had a great Christmas and let's look forward to a new 2021!
- Sean
phantomfullforceI hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say you're welcome. I wish life dealt you a better hand and I wouldn't envy your situation. Well, I mean, there ARE things I DO envy such as your amazing characters and fursuit, but that's beside the point. I feel sorry for your family considering that they are not capable of dealing with the reality of the situation, but just understand that it is not hopeless. Anything you want to talk about, I'm all ears. That's what friends do.
"Don't wait to do something good."? Don't worry. I won't.
Hoping that you had a great Christmas and let's look forward to a new 2021!
- Sean
Six Years of FNAF!
Posted 5 years agoJust wanted to thank the team behind 26 Frights of Freddy for making the project possible, and to Scott to gracing us this amazing franchise! We have all had our ups and downs, but we have always persisted.
On this wonderful Saturday, six years since the first Five Nights at Freddy's game was released, I just wish to commemmorate this day by celebrating just how diverse our group has gotten, with members spanning the globe! 26 Frights of Freddy has always welcomed prospective authors of all walks of life and it is the content of their character that matters the most.
I understand 2020 has been rough for all of us. Hell, we have been pretty much on hiatus since we last showed up on Freddit back in '19. And with the COVID pandemic and the social unrest that have reacted to produce a worldwide disaster even Sable would be impressed by, the stress has truly tested the loyalties of many of our long-time supporters and leaders.
All the same, we have adapted and overcome the ever-changing circumstances and the constant turnover of our team, some of whom have experienced suffering from the disease, directly or otherwise.
But fear not, for we have big plans coming ahead, and I mean BIG. We are already setting the course for the jaw-dropping finale of 26 Frights of Freddy Season 2: The Messiah Complex (yes, we've settled on a more appropriate title), and I assure you it will change everything you know about this world!
We are also openly recruiting members for Season 3; some of the old guard have agreed to rejoin, both from Seasons 1 and Seasons 2. However, that's where we need new blood. I am now screening prospective newcomers to participate in making this the biggest collaboration Freddit has ever seen, and ever will see!
I also wish to extend a shoutout to the FNAF: World of Writing initiative, under whose guidance we are intending to re-release an updated edition of 26 Frights of Freddy's: The Tangled Soul with brand-new cover art and perhaps even some ebook-exclusive content! I do greatly encourage you to check out their work... I think this could be the start of something truly big in the FNAF fandom's future. Can't wait!
We came together with a purpose with the understanding that we are stronger together than we are apart. True, we haven't always lived up to this, but we've never stopped trying. All in all, let bygones be bygones and look forward to our future! Let's not just celebrate our creation, let's commit to finally fulfill it.
Celebrating Six Years and A Moment Apart:
Sean Skyhawk
On this wonderful Saturday, six years since the first Five Nights at Freddy's game was released, I just wish to commemmorate this day by celebrating just how diverse our group has gotten, with members spanning the globe! 26 Frights of Freddy has always welcomed prospective authors of all walks of life and it is the content of their character that matters the most.
I understand 2020 has been rough for all of us. Hell, we have been pretty much on hiatus since we last showed up on Freddit back in '19. And with the COVID pandemic and the social unrest that have reacted to produce a worldwide disaster even Sable would be impressed by, the stress has truly tested the loyalties of many of our long-time supporters and leaders.
All the same, we have adapted and overcome the ever-changing circumstances and the constant turnover of our team, some of whom have experienced suffering from the disease, directly or otherwise.
But fear not, for we have big plans coming ahead, and I mean BIG. We are already setting the course for the jaw-dropping finale of 26 Frights of Freddy Season 2: The Messiah Complex (yes, we've settled on a more appropriate title), and I assure you it will change everything you know about this world!
We are also openly recruiting members for Season 3; some of the old guard have agreed to rejoin, both from Seasons 1 and Seasons 2. However, that's where we need new blood. I am now screening prospective newcomers to participate in making this the biggest collaboration Freddit has ever seen, and ever will see!
I also wish to extend a shoutout to the FNAF: World of Writing initiative, under whose guidance we are intending to re-release an updated edition of 26 Frights of Freddy's: The Tangled Soul with brand-new cover art and perhaps even some ebook-exclusive content! I do greatly encourage you to check out their work... I think this could be the start of something truly big in the FNAF fandom's future. Can't wait!
We came together with a purpose with the understanding that we are stronger together than we are apart. True, we haven't always lived up to this, but we've never stopped trying. All in all, let bygones be bygones and look forward to our future! Let's not just celebrate our creation, let's commit to finally fulfill it.
Celebrating Six Years and A Moment Apart:
Sean Skyhawk
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!
Posted 7 years agoHey watchers, just hoping you well this Christmas and have a great 2019!!! While you're at it, check out the 26 Frights of Freddy compilation, which is now into its second season, here on reddit!
In the meantime, do also check out the nosleep crew's latest collaboration, 13 Days of Christmas, which delves into the tragedies that happened one holiday season at Serenity Falls, Wisconsin. It's gritty and well worth the read! Subscribe for more when the book comes out!
Finally, check out the largest collaborative horror project on nosleep, Face your Fears, dealing with the Skinner Foundation's unsuccessful attempt to keep the shadows at bay. Worry not... there are other worlds than these.
Merry Christmas y'all and have a magical new year!!!
-Sean Skyhawk
In the meantime, do also check out the nosleep crew's latest collaboration, 13 Days of Christmas, which delves into the tragedies that happened one holiday season at Serenity Falls, Wisconsin. It's gritty and well worth the read! Subscribe for more when the book comes out!
Finally, check out the largest collaborative horror project on nosleep, Face your Fears, dealing with the Skinner Foundation's unsuccessful attempt to keep the shadows at bay. Worry not... there are other worlds than these.
Merry Christmas y'all and have a magical new year!!!
-Sean Skyhawk
yooo this is legitness
Posted 7 years agoFound some vid on magnets that could explain the points on the katana
This is EXACTLY how I picture the little points being held in place in mid-air except through magic of course.
This is EXACTLY how I picture the little points being held in place in mid-air except through magic of course.
Oh holy fuck
Posted 7 years agohttps://i.imgur.com/u79PcZo.jpg
This poster says it all... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This poster says it all... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Five Nights at F***boy's: Dong-Expanded Edition
Posted 8 years agoSo I've been working on a fan-made mod of Fuckboy's... yeah.
Enjoy the video ;)
Files available here
Enjoy the video ;)
Files available here
Quite a milestone!
Posted 9 years agoSo I realize my last journal was done during some time of emotional stress. I've become much more acclimatized to my new home church and I might actually be considered a fledged member taken root there! I've begun to recognize faces and not mess up their names upon further recollection, though it's been hard.
Anyway, I just turned 25! Wow, it's been long. 7 years already??? I just looked at my faves list and there's like 165 pages... why can't I hold all these favorites???
Sorry I've been really busy... between chores, church, and churning my dissertation topic, it's been difficult to keep up and not just be some lurker. Well, not too late to try, eh?
For my watchers... I don't exactly recall who I'm still waiting for commissions or requests from, so please don't hesitate to remind me :)
Signing off for now,
- Sean, the Peregrine Skyhawk
P.S. look closer -> http://lookcloser.nowyouseeme.movie/
Anyway, I just turned 25! Wow, it's been long. 7 years already??? I just looked at my faves list and there's like 165 pages... why can't I hold all these favorites???
Sorry I've been really busy... between chores, church, and churning my dissertation topic, it's been difficult to keep up and not just be some lurker. Well, not too late to try, eh?
For my watchers... I don't exactly recall who I'm still waiting for commissions or requests from, so please don't hesitate to remind me :)
Signing off for now,
- Sean, the Peregrine Skyhawk
P.S. look closer -> http://lookcloser.nowyouseeme.movie/
Some updates
Posted 9 years agoI just wish to update on a serious note for those local to my area. To those who are not aware of this, I will do my best to explain and summarize the motivation for writing this.
For the past few years, I have been involved with the non-denominational church Xenos Christian Fellowship in Columbus OH, taking part in a cell church of at least 20 friends who I have been around since first coming out. I believe the group is called "GonePro" (you know, like the camera brand).
I write this due to some changes in arrangements that have left me quite bothered. On February 25, 2015 the group was informed by our church leaders of its immediate disbandment due to prior misconduct regarding the local leadership, and we have split off into 3 groups to visit other home churches. My group of about 6 who shall remain unnamed have been sent as unaffiliated visiting scholars to a church in Westerville with the callsign "Vesuvius".
I wish to disabuse the readers of the notion that I or my other friends are considered a part of the Vesuvius church. I disavow and deny membership and consider this church as a means of interim arrangement until further notice. Though we are of course welcome to partake in their Bible studies and their hospitality, let it be known that it will not be necessary for the leaders of that church to consider us as part of their already quite-large headcount. I at least will register as "undecided" for any official purposes within Xenos Christian Fellowship.
That is all.
-S23
For the past few years, I have been involved with the non-denominational church Xenos Christian Fellowship in Columbus OH, taking part in a cell church of at least 20 friends who I have been around since first coming out. I believe the group is called "GonePro" (you know, like the camera brand).
I write this due to some changes in arrangements that have left me quite bothered. On February 25, 2015 the group was informed by our church leaders of its immediate disbandment due to prior misconduct regarding the local leadership, and we have split off into 3 groups to visit other home churches. My group of about 6 who shall remain unnamed have been sent as unaffiliated visiting scholars to a church in Westerville with the callsign "Vesuvius".
I wish to disabuse the readers of the notion that I or my other friends are considered a part of the Vesuvius church. I disavow and deny membership and consider this church as a means of interim arrangement until further notice. Though we are of course welcome to partake in their Bible studies and their hospitality, let it be known that it will not be necessary for the leaders of that church to consider us as part of their already quite-large headcount. I at least will register as "undecided" for any official purposes within Xenos Christian Fellowship.
That is all.
-S23
OMG I Want this
Posted 10 years agoUpcoming uploads
Posted 10 years agoWhen I was a young chick about late 90s, I was really into prehistoric creatures. Around this time, the Beady Buddy fad had swept the nation, and people were doing pony bead art, some of it really cool too.
Well, this refers to a kit that no longer exists in a full form, so I hereby release a personal project based on the original design for the sake of posterity. I don't even know if "Tons of Fun" or "Western Trimming Corp" is still even active, so I doubt I'd be in violation of copyright by releasing this.
I'll upload a scan of the original plan I received with the kit and the photo of the finished result, so that others might give it a shot. I'll also add some of my own recommended touches, etc.
All you require are the necessary beads, a keyring, and at least 11 ft of yellow rattail cord, and some smaller cord as well. The end result is a critter named Dimitrius the dimetrodon, and this includes the (yellow) back sail. So keep a weather eye out and hope for the best :)
-Sean
Well, this refers to a kit that no longer exists in a full form, so I hereby release a personal project based on the original design for the sake of posterity. I don't even know if "Tons of Fun" or "Western Trimming Corp" is still even active, so I doubt I'd be in violation of copyright by releasing this.
I'll upload a scan of the original plan I received with the kit and the photo of the finished result, so that others might give it a shot. I'll also add some of my own recommended touches, etc.
All you require are the necessary beads, a keyring, and at least 11 ft of yellow rattail cord, and some smaller cord as well. The end result is a critter named Dimitrius the dimetrodon, and this includes the (yellow) back sail. So keep a weather eye out and hope for the best :)
-Sean
on Death
Posted 11 years agoIt is said that Death can take on many forms since it is a concept that transcends any stretch of the imagination; usually it will take on a form consistent with any particular being's expectations.
It makes me wonder what would you see if you encountered the Grim Reaper? I don't exactly know what I would see but I could hazard a guess; the first thing I would sense is the smell and the darkness. A smoke blacker than night and an aroma... well... imagine taking the finest wine and fossilizing it in bedrock for millions of years. An impossibly perfect aged wine, sweet, savory, intoxicating, exhilarating. It is the smell of wisdom, of protection, the perfume and incense of a caring hand that would gladly take your pain for you.
And then I'd see it; a figure shrouded in a black cloak of night before he takes it off and drapes it over the sleeve of his tight cassock robe. He'd look like Sean that's for certain, but incredibly old, possibly tens of thousands of years old? Only instead of aging and growing decrepit it's like his youth settles into a form like perfection, a proud eagle's face whose gaze, his hypnotic gaze, is a pool of infinite knowledge, wisdom, and compassion. Not quite a god's form but someone who clearly is in charge and radiates respect without demanding fear. You following me so far?
So tell me, what do you think? Who or what would you see?
It makes me wonder what would you see if you encountered the Grim Reaper? I don't exactly know what I would see but I could hazard a guess; the first thing I would sense is the smell and the darkness. A smoke blacker than night and an aroma... well... imagine taking the finest wine and fossilizing it in bedrock for millions of years. An impossibly perfect aged wine, sweet, savory, intoxicating, exhilarating. It is the smell of wisdom, of protection, the perfume and incense of a caring hand that would gladly take your pain for you.
And then I'd see it; a figure shrouded in a black cloak of night before he takes it off and drapes it over the sleeve of his tight cassock robe. He'd look like Sean that's for certain, but incredibly old, possibly tens of thousands of years old? Only instead of aging and growing decrepit it's like his youth settles into a form like perfection, a proud eagle's face whose gaze, his hypnotic gaze, is a pool of infinite knowledge, wisdom, and compassion. Not quite a god's form but someone who clearly is in charge and radiates respect without demanding fear. You following me so far?
So tell me, what do you think? Who or what would you see?
Something Funny :-P
Posted 11 years agoI frequent quite a few webcomics; Dilbert can count as one based on format, but I also like The Adventures of Dr. Mcninja, Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, Gunnerkrigg Court, xkcd, and occasionally Nedroid.
So I came across this page on the Dr. Mcninja site: http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/28p29/
You can sort of understand why I would post this.
So I came across this page on the Dr. Mcninja site: http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/28p29/
You can sort of understand why I would post this.
New Information
Posted 12 years agoHello furs!
I do hope that it's been going well for you folks. I know for a fact it's sort of been alright for me.
So right now it sort of feels like going 100 down the highway without a seatbelt. Turns out, I'm sort of considered part of my college's geodesy PhD program and have a proposal to submit in the start of February. So the only things that are keeping me sane are Jesus, my meds, and my pet dragon Basil from Folkmanis. It's getting really fast and furrious here, but I'll live.
Just saying that if I suddenly vanish from the face of the Earth, well that's why.
In other news, I finally set up my Weasyl account (thanks
nikosei!) to market Skyhawk Illusions better. Here's the link:
https://www.weasyl.com/~skyhawkillusions
I'll be putting up content there soon, hope to hear from you soon :)
Thanks,
Sean
I do hope that it's been going well for you folks. I know for a fact it's sort of been alright for me.
So right now it sort of feels like going 100 down the highway without a seatbelt. Turns out, I'm sort of considered part of my college's geodesy PhD program and have a proposal to submit in the start of February. So the only things that are keeping me sane are Jesus, my meds, and my pet dragon Basil from Folkmanis. It's getting really fast and furrious here, but I'll live.
Just saying that if I suddenly vanish from the face of the Earth, well that's why.
In other news, I finally set up my Weasyl account (thanks
nikosei!) to market Skyhawk Illusions better. Here's the link:https://www.weasyl.com/~skyhawkillusions
I'll be putting up content there soon, hope to hear from you soon :)
Thanks,
Sean
HAPPY 2014!
Posted 12 years agoAnd now to another year's worth of living; so let's do better and live life to the fullest! God bless :D
#4H4Life
#4H4Life
Happy 22nd birthday to me!!! :D
Posted 12 years ago#4H4Life !
Updates on life and oh, MOVIE REVIEW!!!
Posted 12 years ago*NEW AVVY LOL PRESS F5 TO SEE NEW HORSEMAN LOGO*
How's things on your end?
Sean Skyhawk here with a new update on things going down.
H'ok. So, there's this movie that came out just a few days back called "Now You See Me" starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Isla Fisher, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Dave Franco. Magicians + heists + chase from the FBI:
Damn, it's nowhere near as simple as the trailers show! So in the first few minutes I was watching Mr. Facebook really going all David Blaine with t11's Monarchs (woo!). There's Tallahassee the hypnotist, some pickpocketer on a ferry and a hot chick getting eaten by piranhas (or so it appears). They all meet this hooded stranger and when their acts are done, they all discover a tarot card pointing to a date, time, and address.
So the four meet up at a dusty old apartment complex like Hotel Lafayette in The Matrix. You'd think Morpheus would turn around at any minute and offer them the red pill. Not so much, but pretty close! We're treated to an awesome sight as the room fills with smoke and (le gasp!) holographic plans for a three-act show appear mid-air, signaling the genesis of the Four Horsemen.
ONE YEAR LATER...
Somewhere in the middle of Vegas...
Our heroes are having a blast, performing magnificent stage shows and living out of 6-star hotel rooms. And now for their final act... they are going to rob a bank! NO SHIT! They invite this old French dude onto the stage and then place him in the machine...
SNAP!
Meanwhile, in the middle of Paris the guy shows up inside the vault of bank, then he presses a button triggering a vacuum sucking a pallet full of money all the way from Paris to Vegas instantly, making it rain all over the crowd. Then once the area's been cleared, the teller opens the vault, and her reaction is priceless ("oh merde!")
Naturally, the FBI and Interpol get involved, the investigation led by none other than The Hulk himself, playing the ever-frazzled agent Dylan Rhodes. The interrogation scenes are absolute hilarity in and of themselves... poor Dylan indeed! Since there's no real logical explanation to the issue at hand, the Horsemen get away scot free.
The rest of the movie is an absolute rollercoaster of plot twists as they work to evade the FBI and pull off ever-more amazing heists. It was an incredible experience; seeing it led me to conclude that I've been away from the field for far too long and that I should return to the fold to halt any further intellectual deterioration. At the end of it all, I will say this: nothing in this movie ever happens by accident; everything has a reason and a purpose. Know that and that's the least you can do to prepare for this wild ride.
IN OTHER NEWS:
I am performing a show at Trotcon, having done a dry run of my routine this Morphicon. I assure you right now... if you are following this, you are in for a WILD ride, and this is the event all you bronies will NOT want to miss! I will be recruiting
trickster's help during rehearsal since it happens Friday evening. Until then, see you soon!!!
And as for other shiet, I got myself a seltzer machine! It magically turns water into soda and it takes some practice (far more pushes than advertised) but done right, it makes COOL seltzer! Compact and self-contained, I won't trade this for anything. I totally encourage you to get one for yourself! Of course, for my Diet Cola needs, I'll still stick to name brand, thank you very much.
Anyway.... Thank you everypony, I am the Fifth Horseman, and good night!!!
- Sean Skyhawk
How's things on your end?
Sean Skyhawk here with a new update on things going down.
H'ok. So, there's this movie that came out just a few days back called "Now You See Me" starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Isla Fisher, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Dave Franco. Magicians + heists + chase from the FBI:
Damn, it's nowhere near as simple as the trailers show! So in the first few minutes I was watching Mr. Facebook really going all David Blaine with t11's Monarchs (woo!). There's Tallahassee the hypnotist, some pickpocketer on a ferry and a hot chick getting eaten by piranhas (or so it appears). They all meet this hooded stranger and when their acts are done, they all discover a tarot card pointing to a date, time, and address.
So the four meet up at a dusty old apartment complex like Hotel Lafayette in The Matrix. You'd think Morpheus would turn around at any minute and offer them the red pill. Not so much, but pretty close! We're treated to an awesome sight as the room fills with smoke and (le gasp!) holographic plans for a three-act show appear mid-air, signaling the genesis of the Four Horsemen.
ONE YEAR LATER...
Somewhere in the middle of Vegas...
Our heroes are having a blast, performing magnificent stage shows and living out of 6-star hotel rooms. And now for their final act... they are going to rob a bank! NO SHIT! They invite this old French dude onto the stage and then place him in the machine...
SNAP!
Meanwhile, in the middle of Paris the guy shows up inside the vault of bank, then he presses a button triggering a vacuum sucking a pallet full of money all the way from Paris to Vegas instantly, making it rain all over the crowd. Then once the area's been cleared, the teller opens the vault, and her reaction is priceless ("oh merde!")
Naturally, the FBI and Interpol get involved, the investigation led by none other than The Hulk himself, playing the ever-frazzled agent Dylan Rhodes. The interrogation scenes are absolute hilarity in and of themselves... poor Dylan indeed! Since there's no real logical explanation to the issue at hand, the Horsemen get away scot free.
The rest of the movie is an absolute rollercoaster of plot twists as they work to evade the FBI and pull off ever-more amazing heists. It was an incredible experience; seeing it led me to conclude that I've been away from the field for far too long and that I should return to the fold to halt any further intellectual deterioration. At the end of it all, I will say this: nothing in this movie ever happens by accident; everything has a reason and a purpose. Know that and that's the least you can do to prepare for this wild ride.
IN OTHER NEWS:
I am performing a show at Trotcon, having done a dry run of my routine this Morphicon. I assure you right now... if you are following this, you are in for a WILD ride, and this is the event all you bronies will NOT want to miss! I will be recruiting
trickster's help during rehearsal since it happens Friday evening. Until then, see you soon!!!And as for other shiet, I got myself a seltzer machine! It magically turns water into soda and it takes some practice (far more pushes than advertised) but done right, it makes COOL seltzer! Compact and self-contained, I won't trade this for anything. I totally encourage you to get one for yourself! Of course, for my Diet Cola needs, I'll still stick to name brand, thank you very much.
Anyway.... Thank you everypony, I am the Fifth Horseman, and good night!!!
- Sean Skyhawk
Kpop and New Room Pix
Posted 12 years agoCheck 'em
Also, K-Pop has turned into a new AWESOME thing these days! Ever heard of Big Bang? Well...
WOW... FANTASTIC BABY
Good night,
Sean
PS: MOAR INFO ON KURO: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6394666/
Also, K-Pop has turned into a new AWESOME thing these days! Ever heard of Big Bang? Well...
WOW... FANTASTIC BABY
Good night,
Sean
PS: MOAR INFO ON KURO: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6394666/
Exam in less than 12 hours
Posted 13 years agoWish me luck; will add more afterwards
Pool's Open :)
Posted 13 years agoPun totally intended :-P
Here I am sitting at the courtesy computer. Just wanna let all know I'm currently at the courthouse on jury duty, and since I haven't been called up to the courtroom yet, it essentially means I get paid $20 a day to study for the MAS exam this Saturday :-D. Taking a break before my Subway lunch but well I'd rather show up to get some "me-time" to that end :)
Also, I've found a couple of journals up here for furries going through depression, particularly
, 
and going through my inbox and admittedly I feel rather ashamed that I just press the "nuke journals" option on my message page since in all fair honesty there was really nothing for me to say. It doesn't mean that I don't care about their problems, because it worries me that it might seem that way, it's just that I seriously don't know how to address said issues. However, I will say this. Those who say that they don't have friends and couldn't have them are wrong because I am still willing to give that opportunity and support if need be. So if there is anyone who wants to chat, by all means
Anyway, back to sample exams now...
Signing off,
- Sean
Here I am sitting at the courtesy computer. Just wanna let all know I'm currently at the courthouse on jury duty, and since I haven't been called up to the courtroom yet, it essentially means I get paid $20 a day to study for the MAS exam this Saturday :-D. Taking a break before my Subway lunch but well I'd rather show up to get some "me-time" to that end :)
Also, I've found a couple of journals up here for furries going through depression, particularly
, 
and going through my inbox and admittedly I feel rather ashamed that I just press the "nuke journals" option on my message page since in all fair honesty there was really nothing for me to say. It doesn't mean that I don't care about their problems, because it worries me that it might seem that way, it's just that I seriously don't know how to address said issues. However, I will say this. Those who say that they don't have friends and couldn't have them are wrong because I am still willing to give that opportunity and support if need be. So if there is anyone who wants to chat, by all means Anyway, back to sample exams now...
Signing off,
- Sean
