🎊✨FOXY COMEBACK✨🎊


I might try to do the art thing here again some time.

Since two burnouts and several bouts of madness ago I've drawn only maybe once a month, but perhaps I can summon the MP required to at least bother to post them here now. I'm leveling up my otaku powers, at least, so I'm at least imagining experimenting with a lot of different mysterious magic. In fact, maybe I should just post a few Japan photographs and call it art?

Right, I need to continue writing this journal first. This is but a humble update, not an impromptu brainstorming session with myself! COME ON!!

Ah, yes, before I mentioned it's been an MP thing. You'll find that's because I've not been well in the HEADBRAIN. But also I'm an all-or-nothing creature by nature, which is why I've not finished anything of note for Eternities, as I'd want it to be something "trending upwards". You see, when I lose interest in something so suddenly, or even just run out of steam, I can just Quit Forever out of nowhere. It can be quite impractical to move between obsession and complete dismissal so readily. Progress is often a lateral process, or else some invisible movement that only makes sense in the form of formlessness. Well, anyway, doing drugs seems more productive - not that any of these things are mutually exclusive.

But we'll see what happens. I feel unusually positive at this moment, so I thought I'd sneak in the opportunity to push the cobwebs down a bit. Mind you, I am well-aware that the entire everything is fucked right now, but perhaps we can all get used to it some more. We'll be afforded this opportunity whether we wished it or not. Get accustomed to the suck and learn more about it. Don't learn to love it, though, you'll find the taste goes bitter and dry.

Aaah, I always give in and punctuate with something well-pretentious. So, I guess that means I am back. HIIIIII!!!!1 :3

Three unwatches by my count. Not sure how to feel about that, because I am perpetually unsure about just about everything. I've been nervously refreshing my page here yesterday night, afraid of ruffling feathers. I know--self-conscious about being harsh about the far-right, I know...

But that's how it's always been for me. Before speaking my mind, I'd always double-triple-quadruple check everything, and whenever something bad happens or someone attacks me or nearly runs me over, my gut reaction tends to be, Was this my fault?

A history of bullying and systematic abuse will do that to you.

When I hone and perfect a project and finish months of dedicated labour the one-day high inevitably turns to utter disappointment, watching the weeds tumble, no matter how often it's happened before. And I think to an extent this is part and parcel to the artist's life: rarely are we satisfied with what we've accomplished, and all too often do we look at our work in disgust. We even loathe our own self-pity, knowing well enough this is the most disrespected trait an artist can have.

Well, visual art has always been more accessible and, in relative terms at least, easier to measure progress in. So, that's what I'd like to talk about today.

I might post a photograph to my scraps at some point, but over the past six years or so I've collected a great many full watercolour sketchbooks for my bookcase. That's well over two-thousand paintings; maybe closer to three-thousand. Not counting the 20+ years of artistic experience preceding it, that's a lot of labour to get to where I am right now.

I am an okay artist - not great; not bad. If you're just starting out and you see the skill gap that exists between the best in the field and your own mettle, I know how intimidating that can feel. And if you think you can out-cringe me, I suspect you can't out-cringe anyone. Go back in my FA gallery to the early pages and then, even then I will tell you I was far, far worse than that before.

No claims of staggering insights here, but in most cases, this is simply the dedication required to get close to good in a field. What we must do, and continue to do then, is to find and nurture what makes us create. It might seem like the world at large, ourselves included, wants us to give up, but I don't believe that. I think we're artists, and we can't but create. So, say something nice about yourself, treasure your ideas, and hone your craft - plod on in discipline, if that's the only way for you to do it right now. For every hundred cringeworthy sketches there's an origami cranebird waiting to take flight.

Okay, maybe that was a stupid way of putting it, but then I never claimed to have a great point here. Just... don't be discouraged by a lack of skill or experience, that's all. Being good is not nearly as esoteric a destination as you might think it is.

In light of recent personal events I'd like to write a political journal. Oh, I know, that's just no fun. Stay with me, if you can! Sure, talking politics might make me an unfun person, but I'm over such concerns. If you're on the internet for long enough, you will know that when you sigh, you're negative and depressing, and should you laugh two times in a minute, you're superficial and childish. But to say that politics is so minor a part of life, and that we should brush these things under the carpet to never bring up in polite company, is a very callous point of view to have that, in the end, can have very real effects on the planet we live in. In actuality, these things inform how we function as a society. (In essence, don't wear your stamps and badges and expect not to be called out for your lack of research.)

So, with that said, let me summarize some recent happenings. At the time of writing, there's a little news notice on this site underneath the header pointing to FA's Code of Conduct Update, which includes a rule against Nazi, KKK, ISIS and other such idealogies. The related claim has been that in this age casual racism, homophobia, and sexism from The Trumplefucks^tm, YouTube 'personality' Pewdiepie, and things like the Brexit, embolden the more extreme xenophobes. Many people like to dismiss this as an exaggeration. But rather than point to the news (which, contrary to some delusions, isn't necessarily fake when it doesn't suit you), I'd like to address the opinion that FA's CoC update is done solely to be "edgy" or to profile a political agenda, and isn't actually based on any real presence of such hate groups.

They're wrong. Mind you, even if they wouldn't be exactly wrong, still it doesn't hurt to chisel such rules in stone for the future. Over in Europe that is already the norm. (I hope you don't have to ask why.) I've done security at conventions and am well prepared for the appearance of a swastika: I'd promptly toss them out or hold them and notify the authorities. Because that is the norm, barely anyone ever dares to show up with such regalia, in furry events or anywhere else. That's a good thing.

But, as I said, they are wrong, and there's an increase in Nazi sympathisers in our very community, and that should concern us all.

For the second time this month I've been confronted with someone spouting anti-immigration rhetoric while unironically quoting Hitler, as well as a number of convictions too ridiculous and outrageous even to include here. (There are too many of them and I think they are altogether too offensive to give further attention.) It made me believe that my generally apolitical profile online might be a mistake, and that I've been too nice. So, to behave for the moment as someone with the responsibility of something of a platform, I'd like to get some things straight here:

If you're a Republican or a Trump supporter or whatever... I don't hate you. I do think you probably have some issues you need to address and in general I am disappointed in you and your lack of awareness. But I have not given up on you.

If, however, you legitimately believe it's necessary for the defence of 'our' culture to destroy anyone who's gender, orientation, or skin colour doesn't suit you, I'm going to ask you to listen and listen closely to what I'm about to say, so that you cannot possibly forget it: My artwork is not for you. You need to seriously evaluate your life, and it's way, way past working through some personal issues. You, as a person, are lost, and there's nothing here for you until you can convince the world you have learned from your mistakes.

Thank you.

If you haven't heard, Albert Temple's no longer with us. (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8120166/)

In the most basic sense, at least, he's gone. And it makes me choke up.

Since learning this morning of Gene's passing I've been wondering what I could offer in way of simple words. But more surely I knew I had to at least say something. It's strange maybe that I feel so strongly about that. The honest answer that I've been giving myself is that he was just really fucking nice.

Despite not knowing him intimately, I don't see it as disrespectful to come forward with such a crude explanation, 'cause what it says to me is that, if Gene could have made such a mark on me, from many accounts a stranger, how affected then must his closest friends be? His partners in love, life, work, art? It's painful to think of it. But at the same time, I also think them lucky for being so close to such an unrelenting force of positivity.

But yes, "he was just really fucking nice" might have been a strong catalyst, but surely his creativity speaks volumes.

Gene Catlow was one of the first comics I got into when the rising popularity of webcomics reached little, young(er) ole me. Along with Newshounds and Ozy and Millie it was also the most memorable in the class, standing out for its persistently imaginative and winding narratives, emphasis on friendship and inclusiveness and scientific breakthrough, as well as its bright use of furry characters. I can actually call to mind in great detail many of its early pages, though I must have last read them over ten years ago. Gene's style is a stellar example of recognisability and also a testament to its owner's dedication. More than anything else I'd like to describe it as being unashamed. It seems obvious now perhaps, but even when I first stumbled upon it via some link or webring hocus pocus I suspected there was simply no room for guilty pleasure apologies in Gene's arsenal. He was too busy creating or making time for others. He was too busy being nice.

I can't pretend to know him better than that. That's an honour reserved for, as I said, his family and friends. Yet, I can say that on each occasion we exchanged a few lines he made me smile or laugh. Hell, even when I eavesdropped (let us say that I chanced upon them!) a few comments up or down a thread on FA or LJ, it made me smile much as though he had written them to me, for he never seemed insincire about anything or closed off.

So, I was but a stranger then, but hopefully a friendly one all the same. Thinking of it, it strikes me that in our little community, we're more friendly than we are truly strangers at least. In that sense we were lucky Gene was here for such a long while--It's a long while that still feels short, somehow. May we continue to learn from his example in whatever way we can.

Stay strong friends, family, supporters, and everyone who's ever even heard of him. I know you miss him already and will continue to do so.

Hello everyone! I'll be visiting friends and admiring sceneries in the US and Canada for the next month. In that time I'll probably be creating some artwork, but I don't think I'll keep my galleries up to date. Considering my posting schedule I thought it wise to put this out there so no one assumes I'm dead or something like that. (Of course, that could still happen, in which case this is a rather morbid point. Oh dear!)

Bonus plug in case you missed it: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/332.....th-of-a-bullet <- It's Bullet Pretty's story. No explosions, sorry; it's actually kind of serious. Sad that I have to add that sort of disclaimer, but inevitably there'll be some who are disappointed when they see my prose litter their screen. That's life.

Anything else? Oh, I saw Zootopia. Just in time. I'm hopping on my plane (I bought a ticket: I get to call it my plane now) this Sunday, and it'd be something of a disgrace if I still hadn't seen it come July. Thankfully, that danger is now averted. Thanks, me. Oh, and everyone who read this. Thanks! You're all fuzzy and stuff. Stay awesome. :3

So, the cover of my pony novella came in this morning. So, I went ahead and quickly did a final pass on the story and posted it online. It lives over in the link below:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/270.....ing-of-the-sun

(I'm not sure if you need to register for it, as I marked it as mature, but without tagging it for sex or gore.)

It's the story of the sunny pony Lily Crystalline who you may have spotted frolicking along my gallery of late. She tells it herself, and I do believe she did a pretty great job at pointing out Celestia's majesty, so if you like that grand sun horse, I extra-recommend you give it a read!

It's story time again. This time a freaky Aria Blaze alternate universe thingamajiggie.

I had to hold back a short while until my pal Anibaruthecat did the cover, but now it's time to advertise, advertise, advertise!!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/237.....second-chances

That's where you'll find it. Read the synopsis first, 'cause it's a little out there in some ways. If the link doesn't work it might be that you can't view mature stories there. You could make an account and remedy the situation. It's all worthwhile in the end because every letter I type is etched out of solid shining diamond.

Shining diamonds. Uh-huh.

It's that time of the year again! Time to shamelessly promote 'my' podcast! It's a talkshow meandering across life and relationships and, okay, a lot of ponies! It's called No Hooves Barred. (http://nohoovesbarred.net /@nohoovesbarred on Twootter.)

This Sunday we'll dig into episode 57, and we'd like for this one to be the wackiest and silliest yet. Why? Because in our zeal to discuss all of the Elements of Harmony we've now crossed upon The Element of Laughter. Laughter loves company!

So, I implore you to write in with stories of how laughter turned dire situations upside down and how important it is to wear a smile in the face of danger. Heck, write in about Pinkie Pie! Anything goes. The silliest questions can help make it super-awesome-cool!

Serious calls for help or advice are also welcome of course - they always are. But this is the week when utter inanity is also perfectly acceptable; the week when "what's the best candy?" or "how come Jack Bauer can't laugh?" are valid questions to ask. Too ashamed of your question? Use an anonymous tumblr ask from our aforementioned website address.

Write in at nhb[at]nohoovesbarred.net - you can do it!

So, I've been thinking. Maybe these things aren't anything to be especially indifferent about after all. What if someone gives you a pony?

Birthdays are pretty meaningful. Have a nice one when it's your turn. I'll party with a glowstick and a cup of blueberry tea.

Yeah!

Oh, right. I uploaded a few photographs of my trip. It's largely pies and ponies because I'm a dork like that. Here's the link:

http://shade99.livejournal.com/85115.html

So, let's see if I can update on matters that have occupied me lately!


First of all, I'm giving myself a clean bill of health and declare a full recovery. If this sounds weird to you, you've probably missed my babblings in submissions over the past month or so. Allow me to give you a brief report:

I got assaulted on the train platform by some weird hateful person, without provocation (other than my base existence in itself). I sustained a slight concussion and had a bit of a hassle with the police to get things sorted. Afterwards I got a threat on my life when I happened upon the guy on the street. His MO in itself is comprised of a lot of threats and racial slurs, so I won't pay it too much heed. We're set to appear at a police court in February, so that's when the final report will come to pass. I'll tell you how it goes!


Besides that, you may know I've been doing a little podcast with two friends over the past year. We've moved around a bit, and for the past dozen episodes we've been hosted on http://alicornradio.com. We usually do our talkshow live on Sunday 10PM EST (or Monday 4AM CET if you prefer my time!). But you can also catch our shows after they're recorded on http://youtube.com/user/alicornradio if you look for the "No Hooves Barred" moniker!

The reason I mention all of this and shower links is because I thought it would be cool if we've got a bit more content. So write in with personal questions or somesuch if you want. Anything goes really, but we do well with advice or banterful controversy. nohoovesbarred[at]alicornradio.com is the email address, but you can also go ask it anonymously over tumblr at http://nohoovesbarred.tumblr.com

That's a lot of links indeed!

On our talkshow! Which might be of interest to you if you have 40 minutes to kill. Head on over to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RZp-8hryug


Oh, and don't forget to have a nice day!
-Shade

Hey, just a quick notice that I'll be abroad for 10 days, starting early tomorrow morning. So, don't worry if I don't communicate or post ponies. I'll see if I get a few silly sketches 'n photos to post when I'm back from sunny Jyväskylä.

Be well and enjoy yourself!

Life; the present frontier. These are the advertisements of a radio show I appeared on the other day.

You can check it out over here: http://mlpchan.net/oat/res/296011.html or http://ask-adviceandblog.tumblr.com/

Basically we talked about cancer, crippling depression, and Pinkie Pie. And yeah, I stayed up past 7; it may have effected the quality of their show. I'll try not to feel bad about that!

And it's a busy time to be me! For some reason almost everyone I know has their birthday in August, so I'm being a little derpy playing mailmare (err.. what?). In fact, I'm the first one up. I'm turning 30 in fact, and many would have me believe that either my life is over now, or it's just starting up. My experience tells me that it's really neither, but I've been tempted to address the former conviction for a while now.

It's a little easier to be convinced that you're a little older than you truly are when you busy yourself about the internet a lot of the time. It's not merely a furry phenomenon that you're dubbed a grey muzzle when you're in your late twenties; it's a product of any popular spot on the internet. Not only is the majority of the vocal population online very young, but also they tend to be a little noisy. Even for my childish standards most people I see are a little.. rambunctious.

Nothing breathtakingly revolutionary to report, I just want to say that if you feel old, most likely you're not, and you should really take into account the context of your surroundings.

Also, if you're around 40 and you're now tempted to tell me that 30 is super young - you'd be about as right as you'd be if you'd say the same about yourself. Shed your trappings of finite life and try to enjoy the sunshine of your youthful romping, there's no pride in doing otherwise.

So, my friend BCS (http://inkbunny.net/ButtercupSaiyan) will be dealing at table M19 at this summer's Anthrocon and we've got a cool deal for you! Buy something from her and you get one of my pony tags for free! It's that simple!

If you want a specific one, you'd better hurry up! There's no telling what will happen if she runs out of tags. Pittsburgh might explode.

I'm sorry if you don't particularly like all these ponies that have been romping about my gallery, but I assure you I can't help myself. I explain myself here if you've got some time to kill :

http://shade99.livejournal.com/83832.html

Also, of course I'll draw some foxes and cats again too. Don't worry and thanks for sticking with me.

Thanks to the encouragement of a select few fantastics (you know who you are!), I set up a Tumblr thing. It'll feature one pony picture each day, though I guess if you watch my gallery already it won't feature much new content. It's a pretty casual project.

http://slightlyshade.tumblr.com

Since I'm still quite sick, and the Tumblr website doesn't actually work properly for me, I haven't looked around the pony blogs I need to follow yet, but if I can I will. Some pony networking would probably motivate me to keep going.

It's almost as if passing through some sensory-deprivation trial. I have a new viewscreen now - it's the first non-CRT monster I've ever had, and it feels a bit weird. I had been forced to view everything through what I called 'Pissvision'; what you get when you don't have any blue in your colourmix. So, instead of trying to piece everything back together in my headbrain I can simply enjoy the proper aesthetics directly now. It's quite a luxury.

I think I'll celebrate by looking at some pictures!

(I'm drinking some aniseed tea.)

But, while my guest is, for the moment, at least slightly aslumber, I should probably mention my releasing my new album last night. Poetry and Marmalade is what it's called, and I'm quite proud of it - perhaps moreso than any other music I've released so far. It might have something to do with not needing to spend months on mixing it - that tends to suck the life out of it for my personal listening experience. Anyway, it has a beautiful cover done by phano and can be found on my website : http://www.silver-wire.org .

In addition to that I'm going to reattempt something I did a couple of years back and ask for input regarding the next pretend-single. Simply, which song should I pick? Now, don't go listen to the album just so you can answer this question - that would be excessive - but if you do give it a try, I'd be delighted to hear your opinion.

I already put up "Mushroom House" here, so that one's taken. But what will come next?

I've seen some otters today and I've created photographical compositions based around their otterish existence. If you're interested, you may follow the following link :

http://shade99.livejournal.com/82164.html

If you're not interested, you may or may not consider your time wasted reading this journal. Either way, have a nice day filled with joy. Thank you.

Hi, I've set up my account on http://inkbunny.net/slightlyshade. I only really plan on using it to have an extra place to dump art, not so much a place to hang out. So don't be offended if I don't watch you there, as I don't really want to see the same stuff twice and have two places to talk to the same person! I have to keep things organised afterall, or at least coherent in my own messy ways!

Anyway, the idea is to put the best pictures on there. I didn't even know you could also submit other forms of art, but I don't think I'll indulge that element for now anyway. So, here's the point of this journal; I want to know which pictures are the best, so please give me a few pointers to relatively new pieces! And if you do, please use links or the titles, as 'the fluffy fox' or 'the happy cat' are a bit ambiguous in my gallery. Here's a short list of the ones I already posted or intend to post;

Asserting Dominance
Funny
Spring Paws
Calicotopian Adventures

Writing while this is still fresh but I really needed a moment to at least collect myself. This isn't a tribute, ode, or anything like that. randomonlooker deserves more than a collection of fragmented rambles out of me, and I'll see that he gets it regardless of how he isn't around anymore to appreciate it.

I was going to write a journal about how exciting it is to be next to a chemical plant exploding and toxic soot raining down and all that nonsense. It seems tame now.

You were one of the few artistic influences in my life.. and I'd like to think you weren't humouring me when you expressed that I influenced you too. Whenever we spoke I got the thrilling sensation that anything could happen, as you were full of life - full of inspiration and ingenuity. There was always something going on. And I was invariably happy to even catch a glimpse of that.

You were full of generosity and attention when you gave insights to my problems, and more than tolerated my whimsical ramblings when I returned the favour. I always got the idea you were full of vitality, a beacon of positivity in this world. I saw you like that.. I hope I expressed it sufficiently in the short time I had to do so.

I woke up just now with the ridiculous idea in my head that you had eloped to a distant planet, and this was just to let Earth down easy. Your travels would've brought you far enough to make that happen eventually anyway.

So.. you were going to help me with this song I'm writing. What gives? You were a bit silly sometimes.. I guess concerns that weren't ill-founded, just foreign to me. But just a few weeks ago you were opening up to me more and more.. for that I feel privileged. In fact, it was always a sort of easy-going privilege to talk. It was easy to take you for granted because you were always pleasant, regardless of what we spoke of.

I'll also remember your wit and curious, genius headbrain. Always willing to be open to new artistic experiences. It didn't matter if it was made before Jesus frolicked around in Jesusland or if it was a cheesy comic with stickfigures. Music of course was your main passion. I can't begin to describe the loss I can see when it comes to listing what you still had to give even on this one field. You were so passionate and always going strong. An inspiration.

I sometimes wondered if you didn't get tired. But you always were full of mental energy and vitality, even when you were terribly sick. I guess you knew what you were doing. I remember talking about swiftcutter's streams that one of us missed, and the conversation evolving to how the development of napkins had affected etiquette in modern society.. or the estranging qualities of quantum physics. It never seemed that odd. You didn't even get tired of hearing me, and you always had an interesting story to tell. Very graceful and cognisant that we were all just human beings with a strange sense of humour.

I wish you'd have let me visit you in the hospital. It's not that far away.. I would've made it. You're a real friend who deserves nothing less. I can't begin to imagine what those who're closer to you are going through. And I'm sure that you even affected strangers merely by passing by them.

I don't know yet how you have died. I wonder what the last things were that you were doing. No doubt you were full of clever charisma and genuine passion. There should never be any doubt in anyone's mind that you cared. I never doubted it, surely, but you made that mode of thought remarkably easy to attain, such was the way you spoke.

You were an artist regardless of what you touched, and when you didn't touch any you were an artist of life. You were going to make me a sublime Italian meal. But I'm not looking for a refund. It seems only right that I'll go through my hardships in life with a part of me still looking forward to that.

It's a bit sloppy, but I managed to bring the 500 vacation photographs I culled down to down to an even smaller collection. Head over here - http://shade99.livejournal.com/81242.html - to have a look if you're interested.

Alternatively, you can save some bandwith by imagining them in the body of this journal entry.

Well, let us make room for more cheerful journalisation. Tomorrow morning I'll take the plane to LA. Since I'll be travelling back in time I'll arrive only two hours later.

I have a wonderful, lengthy stay at Calicocon waiting for me. (This means I'll be staying at Calico's lair!) As a result I'll probably not be around for commentary or submissions. We'll see. In a nutshell I'm going to have way too much fun!

After that I, at last!, get to see Dash in magical Bellingham. So domestic flights as well!

I'll probably write a few posts on my LJ, so if you're interested you can keep that in mind. Either way I'll see you all later!