I see they updated the TOS/AUP again. Another brick in the wall, and all that. But people are happy. Okay. One caveat; I don't blame the administration here and I only slightly blame the companies responsible.

I don't self-identify as a porn artist. That is, I've drawn adult pictures sometimes, but it's not the bulk of my expression, and I'm very, very bad at it. Trust me, I am. But even if I'd look down on others who are heavily into it I wouldn't cheer for them being banned because of that. You don't get to pick and choose and piece together your perfect society based on what you're comfortable with and what not. This is why the majority shouldn't decide on the rights of the minority.

I'm projecting a larger issue onto a tiny one, but I think there's merit hidden in it. I'll explain the political relevance with a similar situation with a different outcome. If companies decided they didn't like, say, tits. What would happen? There'd be outrage purely due to numbers. And I'd be with them, even though.. I don't really like tits. Even if there'd be a titban, there's still the idea that there was a good fight, and the necessity to fight it. Eventually things will buckle under the strain. People would feel that the way to treat a bad law is to see it as a provocation to break it, as a sense of civil responsibility.

You don't cheer for a loss of liberties because you weren't using them, or they were inconvenient for you. These things however are battles to be won in the far future. People will be able to coexist regardless of gender, nationality (or lack thereof), spirituality, skin tone, gender preference - but still call for the heads of anyone who would draw a child with a penis. Because, the children.

Oh, the children. What children?

One day people will stop obsessing about these imaginary children and perhaps see that it's not doing them any favours. It won't however be any time soon. In the meantime, we'll have some more paranoia. Thankfully I'm used to it. I already know better than to smile in public.

Hello and greetifying wordnesses to you! It seems there's at the very least some interest in those fall sketches I've been posting, so I figure you might be interested in seeing the pictures in order, on one page, with an accompanying story. Follow this link if you are :

http://autumnadventure.silver-wire.org/

It's sort of a children's book feel I went with here. I hope you can get some joy out of it. I'm not particularly good at any element here, but I had a heap of fun and if you can get even a passing moment of glee out of it then that's nothing short of excellent!

Stay tuned for Calico's Winter Adventure!

I know it's very common that an artist feels they're not getting much attention. The're a few very succesful artists out there who I've seen gripe about it. How popular does one need to be? Quality or quantity wise there comes a degree of learning how to be happy with what you've got. The artistic growth of a person includes how one feels about their own work and how shy or proud they are about it.

This might sound a bit out of place coming from me, since I don't exactly have the experience of a popular artist, but I've been more and less popular in other areas of my life. I found it really doesn't matter. I'm very content with the quality and quantity of support I get here, I really don't feel the need to get a circle of people around me applauding my words and listening to my actions.

I've sometimes said I could make a pop album if I wanted to, or write a bestseller, but people usually don't respond to that by tempering my "optimism"; they practically dare me in disbelief. "Then why don't you?"

It is for the same reason not everybody who can carry 10 kilos of trash becomes a garbageman. I don't say those things out of arrogance, but out of disinterest. I consider that extremely trivial. If that's what someone else wants, I don't think that's any more or less dishonest.. it's just how I work.

So am I griping here? Not really.. I'm just giving a hint of general advice. Try to find out what really makes you happy, don't focus on the nearest thing lying around.

Hah, that's a really catching title. It wasn't a concious ploy, I swear it. I'm not moving anywhere. But, there's another fox moving around that I've been running into quite a bit of late. And I decided it would be a nice idea to share this low-quality video I've made.

http://www.silver-wire.org/photos/f.....gust2010/b.avi (~30mb, requires some popular divx-type codec or so - turn off sound to bypass my silly babbling.)

I've also got some nice photographs, though mostly of his sister. I've got those on my livejournal, and will probably squeeze a few more on there.

I hope this helps put a smile on your face. We can always use a smile.

(And my apparently instinctive path to the profession of the liar.)

Another great anecdote here. There's a lot of action today. Please don't worry, I'll go back into not-so-much-journal mode again after this.

I was in a very nice restaurant earlier today. But there was a slightly below average-niceness person at the table next to me, who apparently noticed me sketching in my tiny notebook. He proceeded to call me a "faggy fur". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it reeked of scary amounts of sincerity. I'm also slightly surprised that someone would make such a daring remark at someone twice their age - quite audacious.

It's hip to hate and condescend furries. Even when there's nothing distinguishably furfagattristic about me I'm apparently still a tempting target for the addicted self-hate crowd. (On the internet I tend to avoid trolls. Strange how that works - perhaps I just look very pacifistic and puny.) More likely it was a freak chance today - I never experienced something like this before.

Ten minutes later the waiter kindly asked me to leave, suggesting I should not draw explicit pictures. Knowing who had prompted this request, and showing my harmless sketches, I remarked, 'This boy here is upset because I wouldn't draw him boobies.'

Then he asked the instigator to leave instead. Apparently it's this easy. Bring in breasts and you can deflect most attacks.

So, a grand summer thunderstorm just creeped in amongst this desert incinerator weather. There's something not entirely kosher about my roof, resulting in a leak. So, where is this leak situated? Right above the couch where I stack my (recent) drawings.

I know they're just silly pictures, but there's something damaging about seeing them ravaged like this.

I also wonder how I can repair this. Patching up leaks isn't exactly my specialty.

Hmm, I'm here. Back from Denmark (you can peek at some photos on my livejournal if you like!). We've done a good collection of Japanese Golfers songs that I've done the first wave of mixings on in these few days I'm back home. Pretty dazzlingly funny stuff; easily our best yet. (But then, there might not be that much competition!)

I've also finished doing the last touches on On the Offensive, and put it on my website for download. If you're not deterred by an entire album with low-mid pace mumblings, it might be worth your time.

So, Thursday morning I'm taking a flight to Finland to continue this mad May rollercoaster ride. That is, if there's no bad ash weather obstructing the skies. We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow I'll go see Fantastic Mr. Fox in the theatre, so, first things first!

Stay sharp and optionally foxy!

Hi there. I'll be in Aarhus, Denmark for a slightly stuffed week, and shortly thereafter will embark to Jyväskylä, Finland. This means there won't be that much going on here for the rest of May. I thought I might throw some sketchy songs and.. sketches up to keep you all entertained, but you don't need that, surely? Go outside! Smell the air, or look at other interesting things. You know, that sort of artful stuff.

I actually have pretty much finished two albums at this point. Both of them still need a tiny contribution though (or well, I'll need to finish them up myself), and the last one requires an album cover. I spoke to an artist about that last issue a couple of months ago, but in the way of artists in demand, she slipped off the dialogue and into oblivion. I'll have to scout that out and see what has become of it.

And now, as if on cue, my neighbour is drilling right next to me. That pretty much shuts down any hope for an inspiring closer, doesn't it?

I've never had much artistic encouragement in my life. Most people who wouldn't belittle me typically took to a 'Hmm.. what's that you do? Okay, nevermind, I'll talk about something else that's trivial now' attitude. Of course I wouldn't blame them for it. I'm just very glad to have some artistic contacts stroll into my world over the years who are more capable of understanding what it means to me, and relating to it on various levels.

There's real poetry in this real world thing I've heard rumours about for the longest of time. And you all seem to keep a den on this website here. How convenient!

Why, even my silly drawings get encouraging remarks, and on a whole the empathic crowd tends to understand I don't require critique as to which line to put where and which circles to draw first in order to get my degree. This is remarkable, even though it probably shouldn't be.

I just want to quickly say 'thank you' and then move out of the way. You may now return to your (chaotically) scheduled day.

I've done something extremely strange and phenomenal yesterday. It dazzled me so much that I had to check it out again last night, just to see if it would happen again. It seems that if you relax your body in a comfortable location, and you feel tired enough.. you can close your eyes and eventually lose conciousness! Just like that! It really feels wonderful and I'd recommend it to (practically) everyone. If you go out and murder people while you're asleep then I would abstain from that and.. just sort of linger about in an undead state, and make a lot of Fight Club references.

So, I've destroyed my ear infection. I'm just a little bit loopy, but my ear's clearing up too. Weirdly, the best decongestants aren't available here over the counter (arbitrary capitalistic nonsense, I reckon), but I've managed some alternatives. I'm still a bit loopy because my body decided that it should function as a burning pit of hell, for these evil invaders to burn in. No Johnny Cash though, I believe he died a few years back.

The past few weeks feel like a big blur, and I see I have a really large amount of unfinished sketches scattered around the couch. I don't remember drawing half of them. Maybe they're not mine. I look like such an imposter anyway. Musically, it's been hard to have such a break right in the moment of mixing and such.. and I have to spend a lot more time making things fit now. Such is the price of the combination of sickness and madness.

Speaking of madness, spring is coming awfully near. I might have to treat myself to a trip to the woods. I'm sure it'll do me good.. I've been cooped up here far too long.

It might not be very prudent to write something while I'm in my current state, but I'm already this far in. No going back now. (I just considered going back, right after saying that.)

Since I like to keep things a bit seperate, I try to use this journal here exclusively for artistic musings, and restrict my livejournal for the other things (my apartment almost burning down, whining about my ear infection, etc). I know what you're thinking. 'You whined about that here too!' Well, I suppose there's some overlaps here and there. I'm not that strict about it.

I should use this moment to rant and bitch about the new AUP/TOS, but to be honest it's tiring to be a 'champion' of justice in the face of hate/apathy and hordes upon hordes of trollish internet ogres (because really, two of them would be a horde already - it's because they tend to like fastfood), and I've decided to give myself sick leave from those duties. Suffice it to say that rolling over and banning any form of art because some people have primitive fear laws is bad, and that people not caring about it because they don't like that art is worse.

But I'm writing because I have a terrible mission to pull off tomorrow. I'm receiving guests and will have to cook with tiny amounts of carbohydrates because one of them is on a no-carb diet. This is artistically very relevant, because if cooking wasn't an art before, it will surely have to be now.

Let's hope I'll be able to keep my concentration. I'll need at least five of my wits about me to succeed.

So, I've been holding back with recording some vocals because my ear gave me problems. Now the moment arrives that the recovery is within my grasp and I get a day of constant torture. I'm quite good at biting through pain (experience, not heroics), but I think I've probably been a perfectly horrid host to my mom who was unfortunate enough to have visited me.

On all accounts it's keeping me very occupied. I might upload some demos or so if there's something decent on my disk already as drawing doesn't seem possible either. I hope this passes soon, I like this even less than the 10 day long handicap I've already been having.

The latter is what I'm drinking right now. Egyptian style, which is very nice indeed.

I've recently managed to repair my infirmed violin. Besides requiring basic maintenance, it had a broken tuning peg that I doubted I could mend myself.. but the precarious device somehow allowed me to save me a trip to the professionals. Because really, paying 25+ Euros for an instrument that cost me 50 Guilders is a bit of a drag. Just like the proper string job would be - a bit ridiculous. But budget violin strings exist too, though I needed to ask Thomann.de for them (3.50 instead of 38.-), and as such I have this beautiful piece of musical mayhem - with a strong emphasis on mayhem - operational again for the first time in 8 years.

Now I just have to think about what to do with it. I somehow doubt I have the passion required to really master it and do it justice. And if I do get that going, I think I'd prefer a proper one anyway, instead of this old, rugged torture wheel. That's why I might give it away to my Japanese Golfers friend Ethereal (who played it when he was at my place). I would've done that for sure if I hadn't managed to get around the tuning peg issue.. but for that occassion I decided to fix it as well as I could and ended up with a full repair where I didn't expect it at all. Now I'm unsure what to do.

I just watched this thing again a few days ago. Not exactly as I remembered it premiering in the theatre - in a dusty hall longsince torn to the ground, stuffed with emotional children and thrilled parents, pulled out of their civil apathy. No, it's quite good.

What caught my attention is that the tendency to burst out in song isn't as awkward as it tends to be in animated movies. The same voice-actors, not squealing off-key, guarantee a better result than all those Disney-esque family-failure parades. Regardless of that, it's probably just a bias on my part, because I think jazz soundtracks just work best nine out of ten times. (Ratatouille is another good example of this pseudo-truism.)

Pretty, traditional work isn't very common nowadays, is it? Come on, ye furries, get it together and make us some works of true beauty - future generations depend on you! They'll die if you don't deliver very soon from now! No pressure or anything.

Yesterday night I brewed a nice cup of chamomile tea and went for a stroll in what little part of the neighbourhood is richly equipped with not-suck. I was test listening to a first demo of my latest musical project on my mp3 player, and found it quite all right. Both in the sense of quality, and regarding my applied efforts earlier on the day.

I found that it's a lot easier on me, both in getting started, and in easing the tension, to warm up with other creative activities. It's good excercise for the brainbox, and it gives me a pass if I don't get to the real work as I know I usually want to.

My problem has always been the opposite of art block - I have too much ideas to even attempt to take them on. Verily it seems to be a mountain at times. Half of the ideas, if not more, are of course bad ideas to begin with, but I won't know that until I do something with them. The worst of it is that while I'm procrastinating, more ideas pile up, so that it seems I've got the following three years dotted out. That's not an exaggeration, I'm afraid.

So yeah, I'm doing some miscellaneous things (voice acting, colouring furniture) and drawing for hours upon hours these days. I've done about one hundred drawings this week and I feel a lot better about my routine - especially because I don't critique myself so massively on those endeavours.

No, there's no moral lesson or conclusion here - just a few observations as I'm muddling along.

As a final effort of the day I thought I'd write something about the artistic. That's what this journal should be used for, I believe.

I'll give you a little tour of what happens when I get physically ill to the point where my perspective on art (and specifically my own) gets resetted, and somehow I feel like I've gotten so low that I can only go up. I always see spiritual inspiration all around me when I'm throwing up. I invariably feel like putting out the first thing I think up when I'm recovered - and sometimes before that if it's not a migraining sort of illness. (Thankfully that's not the case now; rather a piece of my tooth fell off and my stomach keeps attacking me, so it's just a bad health drain plus pain.)

So, I'm wondering if anyone can identify with this strange pattern. Tell me about your artistic illnesses and ill artistries.

Tell eight truths, eat eight sandwiches, wash eight skirts, tag eight people.. actually, no, it wasn't that excessive. Just the tagging and the telling. But I won't promise I'll be sincere with the tagging. Culdo tagged me, but he did it so nicely. I liked it!

However.. this meme is too elegant simple for me. So.. I'm going to tell seven true things about me, and one lie. And then you can all guess which is the lie! See, it's not narcissistic when you let others participate! Boy, I'm already enjoying this and I haven't even thought of what to say. Time for a drink and a good old fashioned sentimental sit on the couch.

Okay, I've sat on the couch. I'm ready. Are you?

1) My first fully formed band was called Forced Japanese Emulation. It was a punk band of sorts, and it was quite terrible.

2) I used to watch My Little Pony, and was rarely accused of being homosexual for it. I suppose nobody knew any good words to denote homosexuality or were too freaked out by the openness.

3) I collect mustard jars. I could post a screenshot as proof, but then you'd know it wasn't a lie. Or, well.. maybe if I did you could consider this a really elaborate setup. And I'm not doing it anyway!! Are you confused yet?

4) When I was young, I wanted to either be a musician, an assassin, or a football player (that's soccer for you americans!), but figured I'd end up a writer.

5) I'm an Earthian before any nationality. It's my personal belief that for global progress it's essential to do away with emotional borderisms and allow for humanity to see itself as one world before seperate countries.

6) I've got dermatitis. ..that sounds so terrible. Like saying I'm HIV positive and have leper puppies living in a cancerous growth in my ballsack.

7) One day I plan to retire somewhere in the woods in Finland. 'doubt that'll actually happen though, somehow.

8) I adore bookkeeping. Seriously, I love it. It's the spice of life. Don't believe me? I'd make love to bookkeeping.. in the mouth. Rough. Messy. With tampons.

I tag Jesus, Seven of Nine, Captain Planet, He-Man, Michael Jackson, Hitler, Papa Smurf, and Mrs. Frisby. But you can do it too, if you want to. It's okay.. they probably won't mind too much.

Je-sus-o-lo-gist

-noun
A specialist in all things Jesus.


On Easter, I've come to believe,
And other such days honorary,
One Question travels the globe,
'Does Jesus ever have seizures?'

You see, history ´taught me one thing,
Concerning super heroes that is,
They always operate on restraint
To safely use their powers and dangerously good looks.

Now I refer you to my first paragraph,
And keep the man in mind as I ask,
If he took a stroll on water, and slipped,
Could Jesus walk on wine too?

.. or would he drown? That'd be, like, SO ironic!

Avatars are important business on The FA, aren't they? Well, recently I've whimsically cut my hair.. and so I needed an avatar that matches that new lack-of-hairness.

Now, it's not very accurate, but I came up with what I did purely because I couldn't be bothered with doing anything else. But.. what vehicle am I occupying? If you can make known your estimate or clever guesswork I will reward you by granting you the knowledge of whether or not you were right.

And if that doesn't sound like a splendid deal, I don't know what does!

It's the first interactive polling, but it's about the second single. See?

This is about the Chamai Mēlon EP (you can find it on my site, at the content section). Basically, I want to release another song on FA before the year is through. But which?

Instead of whining about my poor choices after stubbornly making them, I think this time I'll leave it up to the few earnest appreciators of my music that I have. Luckily, almost all of them will be likely to read this journal. Congratulations, you now have a reason to throw away some free time!

Here are the choices still available (Flock is retroactively considered the prerelease single, and Alice was the first). My whimsical consideration follows each title in parenthesis.

* 'No Disguises.' (Would've been my first single pick after Alice.)
* 'Fat Birds Don't Fly.' (Obvious choice. Closest thing to a pop song on here.)
* 'In the Toilet.' (Yes, scare people away as early as possible!)
* 'Lullaby on the Wing.' (Could be considered a fresh perspective.)

This is not a matter of the popular vote, but of the most compelling argument. Thank you. :)

That is.. not a rant in musical format, but a rant about music. A little update, actually - I'm just not sure if I'll be able to avoid rambling.

First, I just released an EP on my website called Chamai Mēlon.

I wrote almost all the songs in a single session right after I recorded 'Flock' (the only exception). It's poppy, sometimes revolting and perhaps even sweet at times. I did the album cover myself, for once - an act I don't know if I'll repeat.

Then, there's yesterday. Yesterday the record label released Weapons, Weapons, Weapons on the Japanese Golfers website.

There's even a music video on there! And I still have hair in it! A lot of it, in fact!

Perhaps it'll lure in some readers to know that the inimitable Dashinlocat is on percussion and background noise 'duties' on the single sided LP (which you can download in mp3 format for free from the website).

Hmm.. that's all. I think I managed to hold back!

At first, with a party dance and a woohoo!, it's confetti.

Then, as the cold drains away your defenses, it's just God having a really persistent dandruff problem.

You can download my new offering at my website, http://www.silver-wire.org . I could talk about it for hours and spam my page excessively, but, nawww.. why?

I will say though, that I've learned quite a lot this time. I might even be a mediocre producer some time without hating it completely. Some time. I have to thank Swiftcutter again for the dazzling album cover - I personally think I'll actively enjoy it a lot for years to come, since I don't plan on listening to this thing ever again. ;)

.. that annoying 'controversial' survey was bugging me a little too much. It felt devoid of insight. So, I thought I'd tell you about my lego adventure a couple of days ago.

I dug up my bag of space lego and stupidly reconstructed the sets from scratch without any blueprints (which I could've stolen from the internet had I masterminded this operation properly). I'll just pretend I wanted the challenge.

Here's a photograph of some of the result (the're a good couple of ships offscreen).

http://www.silver-wire.org/photos/lego1.jpg

Can you smell the dust?

[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?

I do, but I've chosen a different title anyway. And I'll nitpick as much as possible. Cause I'm a jerk like that.

[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?

I don't think it being legal or illegal is that much of a factor for me. Still, I don't feel drawn to this one.

[03] Abortion: for or against it?

I'm.. pregnant?! What are you trying to say here?

While I'm on the topic, I'm pro-choice and pro-education.

To elaborate, I think it's an arrogant, irrational stance to say you have the perfect perspective to judge everyone else's life. Morality of this vein has no place in lawbooks.

[04] Do you think the world would fail with a female president?

The world will fail with any president. Failure is a part of evolution.

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?

If I believe in it being.. what, good in some way, believe in it being a viable solution to overpopulation?

I don't like how it's being used. Eye for an eye sounds like some ancient, insecure morality syndrome. Frankly, I think it's a component of hypocricy for these supposed 'civilized' societies we've got and devoid of anything typically associated with 'justice' there.

[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?

It is, so I don't need to wish for it. I probably wouldn't waste wishes either way - but there's really no good reason to illegalize it. There will always be substances that require some form of responsibility, yet you don't see people complaining about the dangers of drinking 5 liters of water in a no-pee zone.

Sometimes taboo and prohibition are the only things that keep something from being a part of common sense.

[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?

Pshh. This pre/post marital thing is SO dark ages..

[08] Do you believe in God?

What, your god? I'll file agnostic just in case.

[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?

I'm not a big fan of the ole double standard. How about we illegalize it for everyone instead?

Then.. everyone will move on and we'll get to see new laws concerning interpersonal associations. If my best friend since primary school lands himself in the hospital, shouldn't I be able to see 'em? If my unwed lover does, shouldn't I?

Personally I don't see much in this whole 'marriage' deal, but since it currently holds some legal privileges - those should be able to be obtained by everyone interested.

[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?

Oh, I think the border between wrong and right lies around the number '50'. So if a few do, it's a good boost for the american economy - as well as a kick in the face of mexican government. But, if many do, it's the destruction of cultural values and a sign of personal cowardice and the will to theft.

Actually, come to think of it, the only real factor here is the matter of moving legally or not. Merely a symptom that I won't waste too much words on.

[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?

Probably not, and probably this issue would solve itself without Superman having to fly in, seeing as almost no 12 year old would want to keep the baby.

Specific, REAL cases trump mystical age barriers.

[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?

Hmpf.

It's sixteen-eighteen here. People get stupid on alcohol whether they're 10 or they're 55 (as they get stupid without alcohol) - I think we could do away with a lot of those limits altogether and just punish people who break laws with victims outside of the self - decent parenting and a good learning environment can take care of the personal drug use department.

[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?

Obviously.

[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?

That it's illegal in the US? Uhh, yeah. But really, this is only a divider for those who have trouble with the statement, 'Everyone owns their life'.

Everyone else can choose between the personal liberty- and the 1984 side.

[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?

I don't have children. Spanking I view as a pretty limited approach to discipline, but at least it IS discipline. I think the're better ways to discipline a child, but I don't particularly see that much against the procedure itself. But.. moderation please.

[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?

I would do it for free if someone gave me a good reason. Not very big on the Do Something For Money thing.

[17] Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?

Obama; 6+
McCain; 1

So, basically, McCain would be the snotty brat in the back of class who's spending all his two brain cells of presidential ponderment on devising a scheme to obtain Timmy's lunchmoney, while Obama would be the kid who tries hard to pay attention and gets mugged of his reportcard because of it.

[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

I think I'd be more afraid if I thought they wouldn't.