my birth mom just died today of lung canser,,, r.i.p miss nilsa

,,i got more to say..just not now ok

my mom been dieing of cancer and it been blocking me of doing my art job... and she gotten worst,,she may not see next week,,but,,, im ok with it since she never acted like a mom and gave me nothing but problems and i can safely say i tried my best for her,, i was a good son and she was,,well something else.. after a number of years of abuse and,,,well stressful events in my life i can move on once i move out,,,, i have not said my goodbye to her,,,and i never well that role is for the people she treated like family and sadly i was the only one that was not in that lil ring,,so. im gonna try to stay form being anger,,,being sad,,,being all that sad bull crab,, cause,, i was never member of the family.. as self center as it may sound ,,belie me when i say this,, you had to be here,,and don't judge me,cause i have not too them, there just a part of my life i just don't wanna remember or know,, im sorry for the art problem i been having and once this is under me it wel be moving on i promise,,plz for gave me and move on with me thank you

well i got time and remove a lot of rust and i need to do comissons to move to Ks,, se i cant stand living in fl and my family wont have me here long ether
so plz help me out ^^ i got a person welling to let me use his pay pal to save up the mony,,,so his accounts is

redfox[at]sunflowerfox.com
and i mainly ask for 5$ pure char on paper ^^
i can do real good body work ^^ and pose so and good profile pic ^^
so thank you kindle and do try me out ^^


i have about 10 slots. ^^
1} [ sultra ] ( Done~)paid)
2}~Mechsae (done)Unpaid)
3}firelap.............( 50-50 done) unpaid 2)
4}...husky fang..........( done) paid!.2)
5}rapier soul.............(av work on sl )unpaid)
6} matthewbrandon ............. (working on ) unpaid)
7}....Demonfox working on) paid 2.........
8}.............
9}.............
10}...........

today the 18 i turn 24,,,^^ yay,, i hope

well i got time and remove a lot of rust and i need to do comissons to move to Ks,, se i cant stand living in fl and my family wont have me here long ether
so plz help me out ^^ i got a person welling to let me use his pay pal to save up the mony,,,so his accounts is

redfox[at]sunflowerfox.com
and i mainly ask for 5$ pure char on paper ^^
i can do real good body work ^^ and pose so and good profile pic ^^
so thank you kindle and do try me out ^^


i have about 10 slots. ^^
1} [ sultra ] ( Done~)paid)
2}~Mechsae (done)Unpaid)
3}firelap.............( 50-50 done) unpaid 2)
4}...husky fang..........( done) paid!.2)
5}rapier soul.............(av work on sl )unpaid)
6} matthewbrandon ............. (working on ) unpaid)
7}....Demonfox working on) paid 2.........
8}.............
9}.............
10}...........

dessed ,,,confuse,,,, lost and bleeding out,, but one good news,,, i maybe ,,,coming back,,,,, pry i do,,,

called them that frieands...have not seen any i care aboutin awhile....and dont get me going in rl ..i wish i had somoen to talk too,, and in a non sexul way,,its been a while since i had a normale talk and i kinda miss it,, a lot..

ok i made about..ummm,,,,let me think ,,6 on 8 types of av's and even shadowfox roy
him self in sl. ill be posting picture of both artist inspired furs and some of my own as well to roy..to Godzilla.. they be posted one im done working on the sim that in front of Xanadu it self,,yup where Gan the wonderful Gan put his public club,, ^^ sorry for not posting any art been doing some 3d work mainly... and every one knows that takes time , but im gonna try to be more active for you guys and even try to make a male duo.. just for fun too,,i hope he dont mind lol..ok back to work for me ^^

other year,, and other reminder and what i am...,,, all my freainds i care dear are to far... and family...push me even fairer away,,i dont want other bad year,, i want a good life...but... its never gonna happen,,i can work harder i can try harder,,but the rusult be the same,,year in and year out,,my fate is clear to me..im just bron to suffer.. no matter how good or how bad my deeds lonlyness and suffering is all mine...big sirprize.....

After nearly having a break down and cutting my vains open and nearly got the cops called on me,,and nothing i say well every get my family to back off and i notice i have not said much mainly talking to my self as i type in second life or at night when im lonly..big shock... i desided to stop talking all together,,as wired and oddd it sounds,,,and maybe sounding im trying to get eyes on me,,,.im not,,i just don't wanna talk no more,,,,if i cant kill my self i may as well pretend im not part of this world....i wanna die,,but 2 people wont let me,, and no its not my family they kinda gaving fuel to this flame here,,,,so im doing a vow of ...... in short im not talking in rl no more,, and i wont eed to practice since i normality had to force my self to talk,, i desided i only talk if one of 3 things,,but nothing else... and yes after i was fanly drawing got my self outta my runt my ever loving family put me back in,,,,,if i do someone how die,,,,i want my items i personal own to Shy wolf,,..that my pc my books and my char shadow fox Roy ..look im not sure how you guys gonna take this or even read this, but if you don don't worry about me,,, like shy wolf said those that cant adapted well have to die,,or something like that,,,and i cant adapted,,all i can do is shut up and wait .....wait for what,,,,no idea,,,, just to let you know i have done mistakes in my life,,i have hurt people ,,living breathing people,, i have stolen food,, and i learn form them....i have,,,,but my family just so,,keep throwing the fact im not blood in my face,,,,over and over and money is the only thing they understand and take form me,,with out a job,,i have none,,with out a commission none clearly took,, i have none..by the end of this year and a month later il be homeless and they wont care,, i know there those who do,,,but there clearly nothing you can do for me..i know drama drama drama,,,,,,who needs it not us,, ^^
i wish my fur mom was here,,i can always draw after talking to her,,lets see any6 thing else to cover?..well im going to try to draw but most likly fall asleep inght5 livign room coner again,,,,im wondering did i fuck up that badly,,,just for living,,, i only eat cuse im depress and my family always calling me an animale and saying im not blood and insulting me...its hard to stay in a good mood,,all i wanted we 3 things,,,,a home,,,, to get my idea;s out,,,and a last one is to have a loving family of fur's.......i work hard im not lazy,, only when im in bed,,,,, i try my best to stay in it like a tiger should,,, but im noyt lazy am i?......i know anyartist got to push him self to a broken point and build up,,, and im broken ...and,,i ,,cant,,,move,,wish me luck ,,umm fur mom if you read this,, i miss ya,,thx for teaching me to draw,,,you made me felt like i can do somthing with my life while it lasted..shy if your reading this,,,thx for being good to me,, im sorry it felt you hand to cerry me,, i was broken befor you found me but you loved me still ^^ for those i forget a drawing ,,well dont worry your still alive so you can get them form some one else...wow ,,,im long winded today,,,,well..im sure that stop soon ,,the bitch of a mother just walked in and already nagging on me and all im doing is sitting here and typing to my best of lil skills...... i just want it to stop,,,but i guess it too much to ask that,,love you all,,live for me ok ^^i think ill be fine,,,or close to it,,fur dont kil our self,,,witch kinda sucks cause we need a fast exit form this hell..

well ok im doing commissions for 5 dollers now and this time im going to be posting a comic as well i also am about ot be homeless in 3 month unless i get money in so plz help a tiga out why dont ya? hehehe i got paper and my pencil ready,,its for black and white char drawing and im doing good so show me the money, and to pay me you gotta send in money gram or something till i can set something up but i need the mony ^^ so plz help

i need ot make 100$ by the end of the month,,so m opening commissions
,,,i only have need 10 spots,,any more and ill drown for sure, so plz help, and il try my best to maKE IT LOOK GOOD ^^.

ok my scaner not working right so plz wait a lil more while i fix it ,,it maybe tuseday...

ok i admit i quit drawing and told no one,, but after a bit of soul searching and crying i needed to do,,,yus i cry i admit it openly,,,im getting back to work,,,,and yus i am asking ou to help me,,,,who want there fursona drawn,,, by this Friday i am going to post new art,, *gulp* i hope ....now ask and ill try,,and this time im going to color,,lord help me...