Like many other people during the current pandemic I had been on furlough from my current job since around the end of March. It was strange feeling not going into work every weekend and, essentially trapped at home, I've had a lot of free time.
However, on Monday 15th June I was invited into a conference call with my area manager regarding the current situation. I work in a food chain that has shops all over the UK and all of them had shut during the lockdown. Now shops are starting to slowly open, with the first wave being on 15th June, I had heard nothing about my branch on a retail park.
The news was not good. My branch will not be reopening after the lockdown and, while they are going to try and move me to a different branch, they cannot guarantee I will be kept on. Considering that two other shops in the area are closing as well and that there are only so many vacancies in remaining branches there is only a slim chance I'll be moved.

So basically, unless they find me a new branch to work in, I'm going to be made redundant.
I'm not the only one going through this, but couldn't help but cry. This information came to me while I was working a volunteer role at a stables.
That job took me over 2 years (during a very trying time) to get and now, straight out of university, I am at risk of losing my only source of income.
What a great time.
So, if I seem a little down or just disappear for a while it's probably because of this or I'm trying to find a new job.

If anyone reading this is also in this situation, I know how you feel. It sucks but lets try to stay positive and strong.

My last exam is tomorrow and, like every other assignment/assessment this year, it's being held online.
(Not great for someone who has terrible Internet connection.)
It's for Applied Diagnostic Techniques, which is basically a range of diagnostic tests run by vets/lab techs for animal health. It was supposed to be a practical assessment to see if we can use equipment correctly and suggest what may have caused changes in samples but, as that is obviously not possible online, I have to sit through another written piece.

On a different note, can you believe it's almost half way through 2020 and everything is still just grinding along slowly.
No conventions, meets. Just, 2020 is canceled.
The local country show, which would have been in two months time is canceled, Manchester Comic Con is canceled, Preston will likely not run theirs.
I guess we'll just have to make up for it next year and have extra fun - as long as it's safe to do so.

Hello everyone.
Hopefully people are staying safe and keeping themselves entertained right now. It's been a couple of months since my university decided to close and just over month since the company I work at took the decision to furlough most of their staff.
It's good for mental health to go on the occasional walk or short bike ride. Even better, try something new or go and do some learning. Keeping yourself occupied by something that interests you definitely helps.
I find that some people who would usually spend their weeks working and weekends partying/sleeping don't always have a hobby to pass time and enjoy themselves - which is kind of sad because life shouldn't just be about 9 to 5 jobs and getting yourself wasted or recharging for another week of work when you could be mentally stimulating yourself or doing something you really enjoy. (Personal opinion of course.)

Anyway, during this time I have done plenty of stuff with the extra time I have, including working on assignments.

I'm started to get back into learning a second language - Japanese.
Since I had already learnt some I have some understanding of the language. However I've always found learning other languages very difficult.
I've been using Duolingo daily and occasionally watch shows in Japanese, but it's slow progress and I sometimes get stuck in a rut where I will make some progress but then suddenly really struggle.

I've asked a family member if they would learn some with me, or even just test me occasionally, but no one in my house takes it up consistently.
I'll ask and get a 'sure' or 'maybe', but I know that just means no. I'll remind them and they'll be 'too busy' (watching TV or the same YouTube video they watched the other night).

If anyone has advice or tips for learning a language I'd love to hear them.
I learn quite differently from other people around me (I have ASD grade 1/Aspergers) but it doesn't hurt to try something new.

So, I've been thinking.
I like drawing, but I only ever upload artwork occasionally because I only get the feel of art every now and again. Even if I start drawing something I sometimes stop midway or am unhappy with the results, so never share the product.
I do write too, and I've been considering sharing some of my stories here. They usually focus on video game universes or my own characters, but I thought that someone might gain some enjoyment from reading them.

I don't know. It was just a thought. I tend to overthink plans way too much!

Have a nice day! :D

The end my first academic year is approaching. I've handed in my final assignments and the last exams are next week.
After that I have a few months of freedom where I plan to do some volunteer work and find a new job that isn't a retail/food on the good.
My job a Greggs gets me by, but I am definitely not suited to a retail food environment.

On another note, I and a few members of my family are planning for out days out at both Manchester and Preston Comic con.
If anyone else is attending feel free to say high.

Manchester Comic Con = 27 - 28th July (attending on the Saturday/27th).
Preston Comic Con = 31st August

It has been a while since I have written any kind of update here.
I'm not really one to keep social media or journals updated as I focus a lot of my attention on real-world things, like work...

Anyway, for anyone who was interested in where I am going new this year here is the answer;
Preston Comic Con 2018, held in the Preston Guild Hall on 29th September.
If you are interested in attending here is a link to the website for the event: http://www.prestoncomiccon.co.uk/
There is not much else to say about it. It is on the smaller side and is, in my opinion, a good day out if you live relatively locally.
I'll be going in fursuit, so if yoou see a big blue and white fox with a green nose walking around feel free to come up to me and say hello.

This year I've attended Just Fur the Weekend 2018, which I very much enjoined, and Manchester Comic Con, which is now part of a family tradition as we now go every year.

Greetings!~

Do you use Furry Amino? If you do head on over to my Furry Amino account and take a look at my badge raffle!

http://aminoapps.com/p/edgjez

I have one free, Waist-up Badge on offer though this raffle. Postage included and nothing to pay!
But you'll need to enter before 18th March, because that's the date I'll be closing the raffle and selecting the winner.
Thank you for looking, and if you go and enter good luck!

Just Fur The Weekend 2018 is approaching quickly, with about a month and a half to go, I can definitely say that my excitement is building.
Yes, I am attending.
This will be my first furry convention (not my absolute first convention, but still be first furry/multiple day one).

If you're attending then feel free to say hello here. I'm going partially to meet new people and make friends, as well as having fun.

It has been a unbelievably long time since I did a journal. But I figured it was about time I at least put something out just to update the information on my profile and give some signs of life on my account. I'm still around, I still visit this website but I don't upload much or interact with many users.

Well, what has happened over the past year, not including certain personal issues?
I don't want to get to deep into the mire that is my personal shortfalls and fails.

One) I got myself a part time job!
Yippee, you don't know how happy I was to finally have something go well. After well over a year and a half of losing hope a Ray of light finally burnt down, though the thick cover of oppressive clouds.
I'm still unhappy with much in life, but with some form of interaction with real people and an income I finally have a reason to rise out of bed.

Two) I'm focusing on traditional art. And I think the practice is showing.
From my most recent uploads you can see a shift in quality. There is still a long stretch, there will always be higher places to go, but I feel a drive to keep going forward.

Three) I'm active over on Furry Amino, which you can find me under the username AmadeoVampire.
Feel free to drop by and say hello. The Amino is a quick and easy way to upload work and interact with people. Most of my work is on there first, as well as work in progress and, from time to time, chances to get a free piece of art.

Four) I'm saving up for a partial of my fursona Shinsetsu. I am over the moon, so excited and thrilled, to be finally working towards getting my most beloved Shin, my alternate self, me as a fantastic creature, made.
I'm on a waiting list, but the anticipation is very much real and building.
It's something I am looking forward to very much.

I'm also learning Japanese, which is a long term goal I am always journeying towards.


I think that's enough detail to get a basic understanding of what has happened.
I hope to really forge forward and break though the difficulties I've had and an still experiencing, but it's never to late to try.

Never to late to start something new.

Hello.
Just to let other users know, I'm on Furry Amino under the username AmadeoVampire.
People love to assume art/characters is stolen, so here's just a little heads up for people who use the Amino and sees my charecter being used by the account named AmadeoVampire.
(Which is also my XBox Live gamer tag if you're looking for people to play with there.)

Yep!
Make things happen and look forward to what the new year has in store for everyone.
It's important to remember though, you're the one who will be mainly responsible for how the new year changes, or does not change, you. If you are wanting something to change, go out there and make it happen!

So, it's been ages since I've written anything/uploaded. I feel like a need to just write something, get an issue off my chest. Whether you want to read this or not is entirely up to you. I'm not even expecting anyone to click on this, let alone take the time to read it.

Over the last year I've had a bumpy ride, and now I'm at a point where I'm struggling to face an eating disorder that I let take over my life. Anorexia.
Originally I never thought that I would fall victim to such a frustrating psychological issue. A mere couple of years ago I was just over 13st which, for someone of my height, was concidered overweight. My displeasure at being fat, coupled with wanting to be male, made me unhappy in my own body. I was also miserable at the work and felt like I'd never get anywhere, I felt trapped with no option to make my life better. All I wanted was to look male and get on with finding a new job. Eventually I got referred to a gender identity service that, at the time of being referred to, had a three year waiting list.
At this point I was still 13st+.
After a while I became more frustrated at my own appearance. I was unhappy with my looks, and also becoming more and more irritated at work. I was being paid little to nothing and had to put up with conditions that made me wish I had never aggreed to taking a full-time placement there. Cold, filthy, no water to wash your hands, no toilet and working with people who bearly knew English, making any communication an uphill struggle. And I worked long hours six days a week, including both Saturday and Sunday, without bank holidays or even days like Christmas off.
Nothing made me happy. I'd go to work, come home and then stay home.
At some point I decided to try and lose some weight. I was told that being a healthy weight would make me feel better, and I did during the moments I was a healthy weight. Every time I stepped onto the scales I'd feel a sense of accomplishment when I had lost some weight. It was the only thing I got this from.
It started slowly and innocently, all I wanted to do was lose some weight. But soon my goal became an obsession, and it took over my life without me noticing. It was only after I got diagnosed with Anorexia that I finally, and reluctantly, saw that my relationship with food had become an unhealthy obsession that was now ruling my life.
All I thought about was food. I'd skip meals. I'd strive to eat less and see my weight go down.
My manager had me go to my doctor, and then I was referd to a psychologist who assessed me. And on that day I was told that I have Anorexia. I didn't want to believe it. But slowly they opened my eyes to the truth. I was staving my body, I had become so skinny you could (and still can) see my ribs. At bearly over 7st I have become dangerously underweight, but despite the obvious I'm still reluctant to gain any weight.
I look at myself and see fat. I want the scales to read less and less each time I check.
Calories and the constant guilt I feel from eating anything I deem 'taboo' makes me mad.
I've stopped enjoying food all together. It has made me believe that I should only eat the smallest calorie intake I can find, and it makes me feel like I've over indulged if I eat even a single taboo food.
I used to enjoy so many foods. But I can't even bring myself to eat a mere mouthful of foods like cake or lasagna.
I feel hopeless. Pathetic.
How did I let myself get to this?
I can't stop myself from constantly checking calories, or avoiding even slightly indulgent foods.

I'm going to therapy for it. But now I feel like I will never gain control.
I'm still afraid of being fat. Of going back to how I was. It's like a voice that tells me I've done well, that I've kept control. But at the the same time I know that this voice, these thoughts, they're not helping me. They're hurting me, and driving my insane with the fear that I'll suddenly start gaining weight with a single treat.

One night I broke down and completely lost my mind. I couldn't handle it. In response to me throwing something my Mother came into the room. 'How dare you.' She said, and at that moment I believed she would hit me. I buried my head into my bed and moped. She told me to get up, forced me. All I said was, 'I'm pathetic.' And I believed it. She held me, and told me that 'No, you are not pathetic.' And that I was lost and just needed to find myself.
I'm glad she's so understanding.

I know now that I'll never really 'recover' from this eating disorder, it's voice will always be there. And I'm terrified of that. The thought that I'll constantly have these disgusting thoughts telling me to stop enjoying food.
I haven't even started to fight against it. It feels hopeless. But, I'm sick of having it there, it's made me depressed and made me quit my job (though that has helped in the long run since I was miserable there and the conditions were appalling).

I'm actually crying a little. Sometimes I just need to let it out though.
And if anyone did read it, thank you. It's not really something I would put on my Facebook page, but somehow just knowing that it's somewhere others can see it is enough.

Long time no journal.
Anyway, I'm heading to two Comic-cons this year.
Manchester Comic-con on the 25th July and Preston Comic-con a week after on the 1st August.
I just thought I would mention this since maybe other people are going.

I won't be in fursuit, instead I'm going in a tail-coat and top hat along with my Mother, Sister and her boy friend.

Just wanted to let people know I will happy take requests for sketches of Pokémon!
I haven't been doing too much art as of late, but whenever I sit down to do so I find myself unable to think of what to draw.
So, feel free to comment, shout or even note me the name of a Pokémon.
There's no guarantee I'll do it, and I'll try avoid doing multiple sketches of the same Pokémon or of popular ones.

Happy Halloween everyone!
I hope you are all having a spooky time. I'll sure be enjoying this weekend since we're having a whole weekend enjoying spooky festivities (since we also seem to be having a 'Day of the Dead' themed Halloween. Yay to Tacos!).
Not only that but it also happens to be my birthday on the 3rd of November!

As for art/drawing regarding myself; I am going to try getting some art out there. It's just that my new full time job coupled with other things means I tend to be tired and not really in the mood to do anything when I get home (other than play games *cough*procrastinator*cough*).
Anyway I have being finding myself rather enjoying writing as of late, especially poetry so you might see a few writing from me, it rather depends on whether I would deem them reasonable enough to go a ahead and post them. (Quite the fan of poetry don't you know.)

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys today, to night, this weekend and try not to eat too many sweets!

For any body who happens to play the Xbox360, PS3, WiiU, 3DS and so on, feel free to leave a comment or send over a note if you would like to join in some games. I love playing with people online!

Just wanted to let you guys know I have a new icon!
Refresh to see.
It is of a character I have yet to upload the ref for, just so you know.

Have a great day!

Hello good people!
Just wanted to ask whether anyone here plays Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare on the XBox 360.
I'd love to team up with some people occationally and do Garden Ops etc.
I don't currently have a headset I could use to talk to anyone right now though, so don't expect game chat. I will listen to people though, makes a good team when people communicate. It's just a shame I can't talk back.

Finally, my reasults from college are in!
After all that effort I got a D*D*D! I am super happy right now!

Just a quick update for those of you who do read my journals (which appears to be around 0% to 5% most the time, oh well).
I got a full time job some time ago which has meant I haven't had much time to do anything. Writing, art, all at a stop.
I work 6 days a week with basically no holidays (bar Christmas occationally). Unfortunettly the minimal pay for people aged 18 to 21 is pretty rough, and I'm on it. Oh well, it's a job right?
Anyway, I didn't want tell you about that!
Good news is the family got a new computer and I got SAI loaded onto it, during some free time I've been drawing a little, so exspect a some art every now and again.
I would like to ask people whether they are into poetry too. Personally I love poetry, and I'd be happy to upload some for you guys.

Hope you are all doing well!
~Shinsetsu

Since I've left college I've been spending extra time drawing, which is great! (So much fun too!)
I have got a job and it pays for stuff though, so I don't have every single day to draw.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone had any tips they would be willing to share.
I have quite a lot of trouble with perspective, and 3/4 views in particular, which is a shame because that, I find, is the best angle to draw references at most of the time.
Today I continued work on a new design which I had started yesterday, and is proving a challenge.
I also started to design an angle dragon based on a reference base, which I can't remember where from. I'll find it though! :3

Yes this is a little ranty, but I am honestly at the end of the line with this. (I need somewhere to blow of some steam before I end up going up to her and giving her a big slap to the face.)
My younger sister is tracing art and posting it online on social media, with no links or visable credit to the fact that the sketch/lines are not hers. She doesn't deny it when asked by anyone, but I still feel it to be very wrong when no credit is given in the description of the upload.
Granted, she does add colour and occationally change a detail or two, but it is still wrong. I've mentioned to her that the sketches and lines she posts are no hers and that she should at least mention that fact (and link to where she found the image) in the description. That effort amounted to nothing; she won't do it. I find that to be very disrespectful to the origonal artist.
She says "Everyone knows I don't draw the sketch." Do they really? So why did she have to spesify that fact when someone messaged her about one of the images?; Because they didn't know!
I've mentioned possible copyright issues to her and the disrespect she it showing to the artist; nothing will make her think twice.

Maybe this seems a little blown out of proportion to some people. After all, she doesn't make profit from it right? No she doesn't, but is still plagiarism.
She explained that "It makes me feel as if I can do something. It makes me feel proud of myself."
Proud of what? Copying and tracing over work, which takes no skill?
I wouldn't mind it so much if she would do one tiny thing; link to where she found the origonal in the description. That is all I am asking.
I don't know why that request offended her so much.
It offended her so much that she started to mope, even cry, about how bad she is... At life?! She acted like I was picking on her.
She said "You can acctually draw, you don't know how it feels." Guess what, I do know how that feels, because I had to practice to get to where I am now. And even then I get disappointed at myself for my lack of skill. The big diffrence between me and her though is that I practiced for hours at a time, and I still do.
I've offered to help her, to show her a few tips to help draw.
Unfortunettly she got so offended that she won't take it.

I honestly do not know what to do.
On one side I'm so infuriated and angered. She won't listen and continues to snap back at me.
On the other hand I know why she does it. She loves to colour, but she doesn't have the right to just take work and show no credit.




I just want to...... Ehhhhh....

You put a stupid amount of effort into impressing someone,
but in the end, they don't give a single damn.

Yeah...

Just felt like asking. Everyone likes something different right?

Anyway, I've been super busy with college recently, so I've had close to no time to really get down and do any art or writing as of recently. Good news is that I am finishing college really soon so I should have way more free time.

So yeah, comment with your favourite video game charecter(s)!
Try to guess a few of mine, hints below!

Quote;
"I can't bare to look at your awful swordsmanship!"

I don't really know any notable quotes from this charecter.
She uses a Garchomp!

Quote;
"Don't slip on your blood when you get up! C'mon!"
"You like my pet?"

Sooooooooooooooo
I went to a little convention that was held in the Harris Library in Preston, North West England to day.
For such a small thing it was surprisingly lively and quite packed with people. I decided to go in my Neo Fox fursuit, or at least the head, hands, tail and feet. Unfortunately not an actual comic, game or show character, but hey, I made so kids smile and it was all good. (Even the little kid dressed up as Thor!)
I saw a lot there, people in cosplay everywhere and some very impressive costumes, so expect one of two photos at some point. I stood next to Boba Fet (Star Wars, apologies for my lack of spelling there) and Judge Dread. There was even a guy in a stilt costume of the Scarecrow from Batman, and he was defiantly in character!
I was the odd one out >> But yeah.... If you saw a blue fox there then that was me! (If you did go that is.)

I also managed to get a sword, a replica of the Needle from the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings, and oh my, it is beautiful! It was either that of the huge sword from the same film. Definitely going to take a photo once have it displayed.

A cross post from my Weasyl account

Me and part of my family are planning on going this year in Manchester, UK.
As part of it I'm going to be waering a costume. I was thinking about going in my fursuit, which I finally decided against because of a few reasons.
So instead I'm going to go as a satyr (or faun, if you prefer).
Unfortunetly I don't own a satyr costume..... and I'm not great at making costumes either. This means I'm going to be commissioning the costume.
I'm confident I can cover the cost, but I was also thinking of doing a sort of art deal.

So, how's this going to work?

One; I open up requests (not quite yet, I'll post another journal when I do).
People can make requests. It can be anything. (Anything between General to gore and violance. It can be Pokemon, Fanart or your own characters. I will write up all details in the future journal.)

Two; I do some art. From sketches, to abstract, to full pieces. (Even simple refrence sheets if I'm feeling it).

Three; I post the art. The requester can upload it to their account (or add it to their collection), with appropreate credit.

Four; I will allow requesters to tip me for my art (though PayPal). Tips will be completely volentary and the requester can choose the amount (though all tips will need to be in GBP).

Since I also have a FurAffinity account I will be alternating between the two. One week I will focus on Weasyl requests, the next FurAffinity and so on. I will be posting the finished piece on both sites.

I think it's a good idea, though it will only work if people will actually read...
Hope everyone it having a good day!
..