Saw a bunch of people doing those, figured hey, it's been a while since I wrote a journal, so here goes.

2024 was... perfectly fine honestly. Nothing super crazy or memorable happened. No major milestone. No big international travel, just a few short trips here and there with the boyfriend, or for work, or to see friends. I'm nearing 5 years at the best job I've ever had, and things are still solid, though the last few months have been taxing. There were some medical scares in the family, but everything has been sorted out at this point.

Overall while I'm still a bit of a mess like we all are, I think that, for most metrics, I "got my shit together" as they would say. Finances are doing great; I got to enjoy my first full year of living rent free, what with the mortgage being paid off in 2023. Been cooking healthy stuff more than usual, and have been slowly resuming my working out. It's still a far cry from when I would bike an hour a day as commute and be at the gym 3 times a week, but it's a start.

Fandom wise, I got to do 5 cons this year, which is starting to become a bit much. Finally got a freakin' ref sheet I'm happy with (after many failed attempts). Got some great commissions this year! You'll get to see them... eventually (more on that below). Got myself a proper lizard outfit too so I can look my best at cons!

Gaming wise, it's been a low-variety year, with a few games monopolizing most of my playtime. Finally took a deep dive into Monster Hunter, mostly World, with a side trip into 3U to experience a bit of the old-school jank. No regret, it's a fantastic series full of tight fights and scaled hotties. I'd always been afraid of jumping in for fear of wasting hundreds of hours obsessively grinding gear. But I instead stuck around for hundreds of hours just cause the fighting is that good on its own.
My other obsession has been Total Warhammer. Never played a Total War, but it's always been on my radar. It's got insane breadth and variety, wrapped in some of the most flavorful fantasy universe there is. It's basically an old school fave of mine, Lords of the Realm II, on steroids. And with scaled hotties. Bok.
A few other highlights of the year include Euro Truck Sim 2, Songs of Conquest, Against the Storm, and finally starting on Satisfactory. And many mindbending puzzle adventures experienced alongside the boyfriend, like Taiji, Animal Well, and currently Void Stranger.

Recaps are nice, but what of this new year? Well, I can think of a few things:

Be more active online As I said before, I'm terminally offline, which isn't ideal in this fandom. I'd much rather grab a beer with friends than hang out in a discord server. But these days I'm not doing either, so I should at least try a little harder at this online thing. If anything, it gives me more people to potentially meet IRL at some point.

Be more intentional about the games I play As someone with a case of OCD completionism (I'm working on this...), starting a new game can be a significant investment. The last thing I need is to jump into a 50 hours game I only kinda mildly like but feeling committed to seeing it through.

Make a second character I've toyed with ideas over the years (minotaur, snake, raptor, shark, demon...) and feel like I should finally sit down and design something nice and fresh. A new, less personal canvas to play with, to try wilder ideas with.

Post my commissions. Like, seriously I got over 60 unposted pics. Not all of them are worthy of the spotlight, but there's plenty of good stuff to share. This lizard needs to show off more!

Well that should cover the most of it. Let the chaos of 2025 begin!

 ComradeKikkachu is hosting two raffles for their yet-to-be-named character! https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10547670/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10737190/
I think "Resarth" has a nice ring to it.

It's raffle season, come join the fun over at https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10614489

No meme this time, just a quick post to say I'm on my way there. If any of you ever feels the need to poke me, feel free to hit me up on telegram: skaarrawr

Everyone's doing those these days, so why not

Where are you staying
Comfort Inn

Arrival/Departure
Flying in from Montreal, Canada on Thursday, out Monday.

Sharing a room with
 aurati~draetlan and  cyran

Who do you hang out with?
Start from the handful of peeps I've met online, and grow from there.

Gender
Male

Preference
Gay

Relationship Status
Single

How old are you?
28

How tall are you?
5'6"

What's the best way to find you?
I'm a small slim guy who looks like he's 16, and will have many rawrsome shirts and badges.

Are you an Artist?
HA HA HA HA HA HA... I try but no.

Do you have an artist table?
See above

Do you do trades?
Not worth your time

Are you a Fursuiter?
Nope

What's your fursuit?
Nope

Attending parties?
I'd love to find a few good ones

Do you drink?
Absolutely!

Can I buy you a drink?
Of course, though expect to receive one in return

Do you smoke?
Nope

Are you attending any panels?
Certainly, with a preference for the nerdy and weird ones.

Stage or public performance?
I might rawr at people.

How can I contact you online?
Poke me on Twitter and Telegram: SkaarRawr

Can I talk to you?
Sure thing!

Can I give you stuff?
So long as it's not a problem at customs or on the plane, sure.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
If you feel like hugging a pile of bones, yes

Can I come to dinner with you?
Might wanna talk a bit first

Can I hang out with you?
The other way around would probably work better

Can I take your picture?
I don't mind, but I'll have clothes on so that takes away some of the appeal

How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
You'll be sent running with a big nasty rawr. It's worth a try.

Personality Type?
I'm here to have fun, and am pretty tolerant of weird behavior. Just please don't be butthurt by everything and we'll be fine.

Any goals?
Have fun. Meet people. Get some art. Enjoy it enough to come back next year.

Yep! I'm on my way to Toronto for FE. And unlike WTFur in Montreal, I actually have a room there, so I'll get to enjoy the after hours and all the crazy stuff that goes around.

Heading there with  mezek and  jiktar. Doing our part boosting the scalies ratio!

If anyone wants to hang out, just let me know over Skype (skaardraenoth) or Telegram (SkaarRawr)

(First image has been posted. Requests are now closed.)

Alright, this is totally unexpected of me, but I've decided to take requests.

I'm not a very good artist, but I could use some variety and motivation. I've been mostly drawing Pokemons and random portraits recently, so a bit of change would be good.

To get one, just say hi below and link me a reference. Also, write the word rawr somewhere in your comment so I know you actually bothered reading this. Failure to do so will expose you to public ridicule for not bothering to read even just 4 paragraphs.

I will pick who gets one based on my interest and confidence, not how early you commented. I can't give an ETA. I can't say what you'll get, might be a quick sketch, might be a fully shaded image. I can't even say if it's gonna be traditional or digital. You don't have to upload it. You don't even have to like it. But it's free, so there's that.

---

CURRENT STATUS: Back home, got another one done.

Progress so far:
- Toroca: ...
- ZeroBlindDragon: Conceptual sketch done
- BlueRockCandy: ...
- 20Eagle13: ...
- MonroeTheLizard: ...
- Badjoe: ...
- ArcNova: "Armordragon Initializing" http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18563782/
- Ashkore_008: ...
- Mezek: "Hiss Hiss Yourself" http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18932204/
- Nodin_Wildleaf: Didn't rawr :( Off to the bottom priority with you!
- Altallo: Didn't rawr :( Off to the bottom priority with you!

Camp's been over for like 3 weeks, so I guess its time for a little retrospective. This was my 2nd Feral, and I approached it quite differently from last year. For my first time, I had focused on doing activities, workshops, experiencing camp, basically. This year, I decided it would be more about meeting and hanging out with people.

Oh I still did activities. Got to do rock climbing, which I missed last year. Wrecked my legs and arms for most of the camp, but what can I say, I like climbing shit. Predator Prey and Melee also contributed a bit to that. It was a good workout, overall.

But as I said, this was about hanging out with people. In no particular order: stayed in the the  monfur again, special thanks to  loopywolf for connecting me with  mimibadger and  luckycai who gave me a lift to middle-of-nowhere Camp Arowhon. Had some great discussions with Lutris , V the Dragon, some Jonathan and a bunch of others. Bit of swordfighting with  rithnok and  zabbu, which are both just as badass as ever. Got to know  stripes a bit more. Board games with a dozen or so people, including  insanefoxx and  arbitraryplaid.

Oh, and got a digital badge commission from  drgn8d, which hopefully will be ready soon!

By the last day though, I was glad it was over. My super-introverted nature makes it tiring for me to hang out with people for prolonged periods, and at that point I was just sitting there and barely participating in anything social. I think I'll take more solitary breaks in the future, to restore myself, rather than force myself into social situations where I know I won't participate.

It was a good time, and I'd like to hit it again next year, if schedule allows.

About 10 years ago, I discovered the furry fandom.

It was not love at first sight, but over time I randomly fell upon things that I liked. Artists that crafted epic worlds and filled them with marvelous creatures. I've always had a love for monsters, especially of the reptilian kind: dinosaurs, lizardmen, dragons, etc. And these "scaly" artists struck a chord with me, awakening a primal desire to belong within their circle.

I dug deeper into the community. I read about its roots, followed fur's blogs and learned about their life, their struggles, their role within the fandom. I consumed the art, the stories, the feelings, knowing I had found something I had somehow always been looking for.

And then I did nothing.

I had settled into a comfortable position as a stalker. I fed on other people's thoughts and feelings, never bothering to express my own. My relationship with the fandom was read-only.

In short: I messed up.

There is a guy whose blog I discovered about 8 years ago. He spoke of discovering the community, of finding artists that awakened feelings deep within him. He knew no one in the fandom, he did not know what to do other than express what he felt and look for like-minded people. He described how "sensible decisions" had governed his life so far, yet all these rational actions were not bringing him happiness. And that he had recently found happiness in incredibly insensible and impulsive decisions.

There was a time, shortly after discovering the fandom, where I was much more open about myself. It was never explicitly mentioned, but I acted and hinted at being part of the fandom to people around me, without fear of shame. But I was a teenager. As I got older, I realized that such things could impact my personal image and my career in a negative way and began repressing them publicly.

I saw myself in this fellow scaly, his situation, his feelings, the incapability of doing what makes you happy because it is "irrational".

I recently re-discovered him. He now has many friends within the fandom, and can't wait to hang with them at conventions. The fandom helped him grow as a person, and he sounds happier and more confident than ever.

This could have been me if I had grown beyond being a mere observer. Why did I not?

From what I observed, a common trend for joining the fandom is a lingering sense of depression with one's life. Perhaps this is, ironically, what held me back: I'm a relatively happy person. I have enough friends to keep me busy. I like my situation, and if I don't I work to improve it. However, I've also learned something important over the last few years:

Some of the best decisions I have ever taken have been impulsive and far from sensible.

- I left behind a perfectly good job, where I could have kept a stable career all the way to retirement, for a risky, chaotic workplace. Friends and family thought I was crazy. It remains to this day one of the best decisions I ever took.
- Randomly contacting some guy online who blogged about his job led to a 2-years relationship that was a great time for both of us.
- I decided to travel the world, despite no friends interested or able to accompany me. I traveled alone across parts of America, Hawaii, several countries in Europe, and part of South-East Asia. This, despite the social stigma of doing activities alone.
- I have gone on countless dangerous adventures, and always came back with memories more than injuries.

So here I am, again, taking a rash decision. I've gone by the name Hainite in various online communities for over 12 years. But in the end, this was never meant to be a furry name. It was a gaming alias that I just decided to use for my furry account name. I did not even have a character back then. When I decided to make one, I figured I would just name him Hainite and call it a day.

But the name does not resonate with what I seek within the fandom, and it comes with too much of a baggage. So I thought about it for a bit, and tried to come up with a name more fit for a scaly, something that sounded more saurian.

Skaar. That's what I'll be known as from now one. Skaar Drae'noth, if a full name is needed.

I know that it is just a name, and I know I can change my furry and character names without having to throw 10 years of legacy behind... But I still feel like doing it. I want a fresh start, and hopefully I'll do better this time. This is not so much a name change, as much as a philosophy change. It is leaving the past behind, one impulsive decision at a time.

---

Over the next few days, I'll be going over the people I watch on my old account and re-watch those I still care about.

I'll also go through my favorites and re-fav things that are dear to me, that still resonate with me or that had an impact on my journey through the fandom so far. If I just faved something you did 6 years ago, that's why.